As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By by Anna Lee MLR Press, LLC www.mlrpress.com Copyright © NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the origin...

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As Time Goes By by Anna Lee

MLR Press, LLC www.mlrpress.com

Copyright ©

NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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CONTENTS Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter

One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twenty Twenty-One Twenty-Two Twenty-Three Twenty-Four Twenty-Five Twenty-Six 3


Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Chapter Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three Chapter Thirty-Four Chapter Thirty-Five Chapter Thirty-Six Chapter Thirty-Seven About the Author Trademarks Acknowledgment MLR AUTHORS THE TREVOR PROJECT ****

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AS TIME GOES BY ANNA LEE mlrpress www.mlrpress.com

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In 1944, Matt Jackson, a wounded RAF pilot, ends up in the Royal Infirmary after his squadron is attacked. When he meets Doctor Trynt Andrews, both men's lives are changed with the instant connection they feel for one another. Alone and injured, Matt is invited into Trynt's home and they become inseparable, finding a love they thought they never would. As the year goes by, their commitment deepens despite having to keep their love a secret. When Matt is deployed and his plane goes down during battle will all be lost? Or will he make it home to Trynt?

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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Copyright 2011 by Anna Lee All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Published by MLR Press, LLC 3052 Gaines Waterport Rd. Albion, NY 14411 Visit ManLoveRomance Press, LLC on the Internet: www.mlrpress.com Cover Art by Winterheart Designs Editing by Kimberly Brandt Print Format ISBN# 978-1-60820-344-4 Also available in ebook format ISBN# 978-1-60820-345-1 Issued 2011 This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the publisher.

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Dedicated to my dearest friends, Caz and Teresa, who not only inspired and encouraged me to write this but are two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. And to my mom for always believing in me.

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Chapter One London, 1944 Matt woke to calloused yet caring hands pressing lightly against his side. He groaned as the action brought a jolt of pain. "I'm sorry," a lilting Welsh voice said in a soothing tone. "I'm nearly finished dressing your wound." The man's accent was beautiful, and Matt had to open his eyes to see what he looked like. The doctor was wearing a white linen shirt with matching drawstring pants and his lab coat. Tall and slender, he had a lean but not overly athletic frame. His dark brown hair was wavy, and he had piercing blue eyes along with a sweet smile that instantly put Matt at ease. He was pleased that the young man was as gorgeous as his voice. Matt gave the doctor his most charming smile. "No need to be sorry. I always enjoy being woken up by good-looking doctors," he said in an attempt to cover his fear and pain. Then his disoriented mind realised what he had said, and he mentally kicked himself for the slip. "What I meant was... Oh, that you're taking care of me, and I appreciate it. Plus it's nice to wake up to a friendly face. I don't remember anything after I was knocked unconscious." The younger man gave him a concerned look, letting Matt know he didn't believe it. "I'm glad I could put you at ease." Matt nodded, relaxing a little as the doctor didn't seemed bothered by his slip. "You have. I've had the lucky fortune 9


until now to be able to avoid these hospitals. It's quite unsettling to be here." "What happened, if I might ask?" the doctor inquired. Matt rubbed his temple as he tried to remember. "The squadron was attacked... I went to help. As I pulled Eric out of his plane to safety, a bomb went off. Do you know if he's all right? His name is Eric Stolz, Flight Lieutenant of my squadron..." Matt's breath caught. Tears filled his eyes as the attack resurfaced vividly, hitting him full force. He knew just what the doctor was going to tell him. The doctor shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Captain," he said, tone sincere and apologetic. "We did all we could, but his wounds were far too severe." "No!" Matt buried his face in his hands. His breath hitched as he fought a sob, his tears falling unbidden. He cried out in pain as he drew his knees up. "Easy, you'll tear the stitches in your side." The doctor helped him stretch back out. Too weak and weary to resist, Matt complied. "Just breathe deeply for me and relax." He tried but couldn't relax as his breathing remained ragged. Everything was a blur, and all he could think of was that once again he had lost someone he had cared for. "Are you sure it was him?" The doctor sat on the edge of the bed. "We found him in your arms. You were shielding him from the blasts and the bombs, but he was already gone." "No, no!" Matt nearly shouted. His memory came flooding back; he was holding Eric and pleading for him to stay with him. Not to leave him, not like this. He remembered giving up 10


and breaking down as he felt the last breath leave his lover's body. There had been another explosion, and everything had gone black. He cried harder. "I promised to keep him safe. I failed him." "You risked your life to save him," the young doctor said with admiration. Matt looked up at him, tears pouring down his face. "It wasn't enough. It never is in this goddamned war!" he yelled. "Now he's dead. I lose everyone. It's never enough." "I'm so sorry. So very sorry," the doctor said. He squeezed Matt's shoulder as he passed him a handkerchief. "I know the war has taken many friends from us." Matt nodded sadly, unable to say that Eric was not only his friend but his lover. The past few years during the war, they had spent time together whenever possible, carrying on a secret romance and finding comfort in a world being torn apart. Eric was all he had; now he was alone. He wiped away his tears. "Eric was a very good friend. I couldn't have made it through these past few years without him," he admitted, not even sure why he was telling the other man. "I don't know what I'm going to do now..." "You'll fight and give your all so that his sacrifice wasn't in vain. You'll remember him and all he did." "The war has taken too many; I just want it to end." He was so tired of the endless fighting. "I do too, but we're still here, and it's up to us to put a stop to it."

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"You're right. And I'll continue to fight so the losses aren't in vain, like you said. Though, right now, I just want to give up." Matt hung his head and stared down at his hands. The doctor put his hand over Matt's arm. "Please don't!" he pleaded, seeming truly concerned for Matt's sake. "I've been there, and believe me, it's not going to be easy, but you'll carry on." Matt nodded, though he was certain it was unconvincing. "How long will I be here?" "It won't take you long to recover, a week—maybe two, at most—to get you on your feet. The wound isn't deep; we just need to avoid infection." Matt looked down at the bandage wrapped around his abdomen. "I've had worse from shaving," he joked in hopes of lightening the mood, and the doctor laughed. "Thank you for everything." He paused as he realised something. "I'm sorry. I don't even know your name." The man held out his hand and smiled warmly. "Doctor Trynt Andrews." Matt's breath caught as their hands met in a firm shake. He felt a stab of guilt at the instant attraction to the young man. "Nice to meet you, Doctor Andrews. I'm Group Captain Matthew Jackson. But everyone calls me Matt." He gave Trynt a small smile, and he returned it. "Nice to meet you as well. I've got more patients to tend to. But I'll have a nurse bring you food and something to drink." Trynt stood up. "I'm not very hungry... I'd rather just be alone for a while." 12


"I understand, but we need to keep your strength up." Trynt's tone brooked no argument. Matt found he was unable to disagree with the doctor. "I'll try, then." Trynt smiled. "That's all I ask. I'll be back to check on you later." Matt saw Trynt hesitate for a long moment before he seemed to make up his mind, then, to Matt's surprise, he hugged him gently. "I truly am sorry for your loss, Matt," he said in a tone that was not at all professional, yet very comforting. "Thank you." Matt leant into the embrace for just a moment; it was so easy to draw comfort from him, for some unexplainable reason. "I really appreciate you listening to and helping me," he said before he reluctantly pulled back. "You're welcome. If you need anything or are in pain, let the nurse know, and I'll come as soon as I can," Trynt assured, seeming to want to put him at ease. Matt's smile grew. "I'll be sure to do that if I need you." Trynt left, and Matt lay back, thinking of the last time he was happy with Eric. They had taken leave and met up at a hotel where they had stayed for the whole week, barely leaving the room and just enjoying their time together without interruptions. Tears fell as he cried himself to sleep. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Two Later Matt woke to Trynt rechecking his wound and taking his vitals. Trynt put the stethoscope back around his neck as he turned and walked to a nearby table and sink, where he turned on the tap. Matt noticed a slight limp in his stride. "Are you all right?" Trynt poured the disinfectant soap into his hands and scrubbed them. "I'm fine, Captain—" "Matt, please. You saved my life." He looked over at Trynt gratefully. "I think that allows us to be on a first-name basis." "I usually insist on being professional with my patients, but..." Trynt trailed off, leaving Matt to fill in the blanks as he ran his hands under the cold water. Matt couldn't help but hope it was because Trynt wanted to get to know him. "Anyways, Matt, a few years ago I was in the trenches and took shrapnel to my thigh. They thought I would lose my leg, but I didn't. They were going to honourably discharge me, but I couldn't leave. I had to help, so I offered my medical services here." "Men like you are the reason we'll win this war. Dedicated and selfless," Matt said. "Thank you, Matt." Trynt smiled. Drying his hands with a washcloth, he then tossed it in a waste bin and turned off the tap. "I've been on my feet for fifteen hours; the limp gets worse as I get tired," he admitted. With a grimace, he rubbed his thigh. 14


"I'm sorry." Matt paused. Trynt had been so kind earlier, and he hated the thought of the younger man overworking himself. Plus, being alone with his thoughts was too much. "I think I'm not feeling well," he lied, wondering if Trynt could see right through him. "Oh, what's the matter?" Trynt asked as he approached the bed. "I'm not sure, but as my doctor, I think you should sit with me for just a few minutes and make sure I'm all right." Trynt smiled, seeming to understand. "While I appreciate what you're trying to offer, I have lots of work to do." "Stay while I eat, at least," Matt insisted, trying to keep from pleading but letting his concern show. He sat up, mindful of his injury. "Take a small break. There are other doctors around, surely. You won't be of any good to anyone if you don't stop and rest." "I suppose you're right." Trynt sank down in the chair next to the bed with a sigh. "Is having dinner with me that bad?" Matt pretended to be offended, though a part of him wanted to know if Trynt really did want to spend time with him or not. Trynt shook his head. "Of course not!" He then seemed to realise Matt was joking and replied, "Oh, I'm not used to my patients wanting to have meals with me." Matt knew he shouldn't flirt and was surprised that it was very difficult to resist the urge that he normally was able to ignore. Trynt was proving to be a wonderful distraction, and he couldn't help but feel drawn to him. A part of him felt 15


guilty, but the bigger part wanted someone to connect to, a friend, so he wasn't alone again. He hated being alone. "A clever Welsh doctor. I would've thought there would be a queue of girls lined up for you," he teased, hoping that wasn't the case. "Last I checked, there wasn't." Trynt shook his head but laughed. "And what about you, Captain? Where's the queue of girls with flowers and get-well cards?" "They'll be by later." Matt winked, then realised he had probably gone too far with teasing Trynt. "I'm sorry, I was out of line. I just feel so alone and lost..." he admitted in a whisper. "I hate it." "I understand and know how you feel." Trynt leant forward in his chair, rubbing his knee. Matt saw that he was trying to ignore the pain of his tired muscles protesting as he continued, "If you need a friend or someone to talk to, Matt, I'd be happy to listen." Matt could see he meant it. "But I'd like to know something." "What is it?" A pretty nurse with jet black hair and hazel green eyes opened the door and set a tray of rations on the table next to Matt. She wasn't wearing the usual uniform but scrubs like the doctors wore, and her hair was pulled back in a messy bun. She seemed to be someone who wouldn't care about appearances and did things her own way. "Thank you, Wynne." Trynt smiled at her. She smiled back, showing off the gap in her teeth. "You're welcome, Doctor Andrews. I thought the captain would be needing dinner." 16


"Always one step ahead of me," Trynt praised, and Wynne laughed. "Does Parker have everything covered?" "Yes. Are you all right?" Wynne glanced down at his injured leg. "Do you need anything?" "I just need a minute's rest. The captain is looking a little feverish, so I thought I'd monitor him," Trynt replied, clearly appreciating the offer. Matt realised that the two were friends, judging by her concern and Trynt's quiet tolerance of the questions. "Isn't he an amazing doctor?" Matt grinned. "The best," Wynne agreed. "I'll let Doctor Parker know you're taking a break." "Thank you." Trynt gave her a grateful smile. "You're welcome," Wynne said, then excused herself and left the room. Matt opened the rations and glanced at Trynt. "So, there was something you were going to ask?" Trynt pulled his chair closer to the bed and dropped his voice. "Eric. He wasn't just a friend, was he?" "I don't know what you mean." Matt tried for indifference, but he was certain his voice gave him away. Trynt put his hand over Matt's. "I promise I won't say anything." He locked gazes with Matt letting him see the truth in his eyes. "We all have our secrets and play our roles." There were a few moments of silence. "He was more to me than just a fellow pilot," Matt finally confessed. He was unable to stop himself from telling Trynt the truth and hoped the other man would understand what he couldn't say out loud. "We met nearly two years ago." 17


Trynt squeezed Matt's hand, reacting as Matt hoped he would; Matt had always been good at reading people. "I'm so sorry, Matt. I lost Jennie in the London bombings." "What happened?" Matt asked, then realised he had no right to do so. "If you want to tell me," he added. Tears filled Trynt's eyes. "She was a nurse... When London was bombed, we were searching for the wounded and survivors to help... We were tending to a little boy when a bomb fell onto the building," he recalled with a shudder. Matt's heart went out to the younger man as he saw the memory resurface for him, and tears fell from Trynt's eyes. "She was buried under the rubble... I pulled her out, but I couldn't save her..." Setting his tray aside, Matt drew Trynt into an embrace and let the younger man cry into his shoulder, his tears mixing with Trynt's. "I'm so sorry, Trynt. So sorry..." "Me too," Trynt whispered, voice catching with pain. After a few minutes, Trynt pulled back so there was only a little space between them. "I just wanted you to know you're not alone, Matt. I know how you feel. It'll get better in time, and you'll find someone else to love, because Eric would want that. He wouldn't want you to give up or stop living." "He made me promise just before he died that I would find someone," Matt said as he recalled his final moments with Eric. "He said to never forget him, but he wanted me to love again. To have someone to care for and look after me..." He shook his head sadly. "Though it was just like Eric to wait until then to finally say how he felt. He wasn't one to say 18


much, and I knew he was leaving me, so I couldn't say it back..." Trynt gazed sadly at Matt. "I understand, and Jennie said something like that to me too." "And did you move on?" Matt asked as he wiped away Trynt's tears. Realising what he was doing, Matt quickly dropped his hands. But Trynt didn't move, and Matt sighed in relief, not sure he could've taken the younger man's rejection. "I'm trying. I haven't met anyone yet... It's only been a year, and the war doesn't allow me time for much else other than bandaging and stitching," Trynt pointed out. Matt understood how life had been put on hold because of the War. Matt nodded. "So," he said uncertaintly, "you're straight?" "I hate labels, Matt. I'm not going to let anyone decide who I fall in love with, be they a man or a woman," Trynt said with conviction. Matt couldn't help but grin. "I've never heard anyone besides me say that. I know how hard it is to hide yourself. I did for a long time, even tried to deny who I was..." He reached out and touched Trynt's wrist, thumb running over his pulse. Trynt's breath caught as they locked gazes. "But you're not alone either." "That's good to know." Trynt smiled as he stared at Matt, then dropped his gaze when Matt winked. Matt knew the younger man had been admiring his looks; he had seen the way Trynt had looked at him while they had talked. Trynt glanced over at Matt's Royal Air Force coat. His gaze was bold as he looked back at Matt and said, "And I'll tell you 19


something else, I really like...um, that coat of yours." A bright blush coloured his cheeks. Matt looked over at his RAF greatcoat folded across a chair, then back to Trynt, realising that Trynt was trying to subtly say he was attracted to him. He broke into a full-on grin. "Really?" Trynt gave a subtle nod, then looked nervous at the confession. "I...uh, I hope that's all right." "I like a man in scrubs," Matt replied with a wink, then turned serious. "I'm not sure I'm ready for anything right now... I need time." He paused as he regarded the Welshman. "I know," Trynt interupted him before he could speak. "You also need a friend. That's what I'm offering." "But there's something about you, Trynt," Matt confessed in a near whisper. He was taking a huge risk saying it, but he was unable to stop himself. From the moment he had seen Trynt, he had felt like he found a piece of himself that he hadn't even known was missing until then. "I can just feel it. Can't you? I don't think I could just be your friend." "Yes," Trynt spoke quiet and low. "I don't know what it is, but I'd like to know you better." "So would I. If I know anything, it's that life is too short to waste. Maybe we could go for coffee when I get out of here?" Matt suggested. "Even if it is just to thank you for saving my life." "I'd like that. And there's no rush, Matt," Trynt assured him. Matt just had a feeling that the doctor would wait 20


however long it took him to grieve. "I won't push; you need time to grieve and heal. But I'm here for you." "Thank you." It meant a great deal to him that Trynt was so understanding. He gave Trynt a tender look, hoping to convey what he couldn't put into words. He was mourning his lost lover, but at the same time, he couldn't deny the connection he felt every time Trynt was in the room. "I feel so guilty right now, yet I can't help what I'm feeling for you either, Trynt." "You're not the only one with guilt, Matt. It's the price of surviving." Trynt squeezed Matt's hands. "Just don't let it eat you up." "I'll do my best," Matt promised, realising he meant it. "Good." Trynt leant forward, and for a moment, Matt thought he was going to kiss him. Sure enough, Trynt placed a soft, barely there kiss on his cheek. "You need your rest. And I have patients." Matt couldn't resist caressing Trynt's cheek. Gazing into gorgeous gray-blue eyes that made him forget everything bad that ever happened to him, he asked hopefully, "Will you be back later?" "Yes, before lights out." Trynt smiled and put his hand over Matt's. Matt was pleased to know Trynt would be coming back later. "I'll be waiting, then." Trynt chuckled, dropped a kiss to Matt's forehead, and stood. "Take it easy, Matt." "Doctor's orders?" Matt teased, eyes twinkling with amusement. 21


"Yes. You'll be out of here in no time if you listen." "And what if I don't want to go?" Matt pretended to pout. "Backing out of our coffee meet already?" Trynt raised his eyebrow in mock disapproval. "No, of course not!" Matt grabbed his hand. "I just love the care here." Trynt laughed with Matt. "Good to know." He stroked Matt's hand with his thumb. "I'll be back soon." Matt watched Trynt leave. He could lose himself so easily in the Welshman. That both terrified and thrilled him. He had loved Eric, but what he was already feeling for Trynt was different, deeper and more intense. He knew if he fell for the doctor, there would be no going back. He feared the curse that seemed to pull everyone from him. Losing Trynt could be devastating and might be what finally broke him. That is, if he let himself explore what was between himself and Trynt. But on the other hand, he was one who always took risks. And he just felt, deep down, that Trynt was worth it. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Three The next day, Trynt visited and "checked" on Matt as often as he could. They had only snatches of time to talk, so they discussed hobbies and interests before the war took over their lives. Trynt loved the works of Emerson, Matt discovered, and he shared his love of Rudy Vallee's music with the younger man. It was something to keep their minds off the death and destruction around them, which both men needed. At lunch, Trynt pulled a bar of chocolate from his coat pocket. "Would you like some dessert? I have chocolate." Matt's eyes lit up, and he leant forward. "Oh, I haven't had chocolate in so long!" Trynt broke off half of the bar. "Enjoy, then," he said with a pleased smile. Matt wondered if Trynt loved the simple things as much as he did. "Thank you," Matt said with a grin as their hands touched. The chocolate was rich, dark, and melted on Matt's tongue as he took a bite. The real treat for him, however, was watching Trynt savour the chocolate and nibble at the pieces. There was a smudge on the younger man's lips, so Matt leant in close and wiped it away before sucking the melted confectionary off his thumb. Trynt's eyes widened in surprise at such a blatant gesture, then darkened with arousal as he laughed. "You're trouble, Jackson," he chided, but his eyes gave away that he didn't mean it. 23


"You haven't seen anything yet." He winked, unable to stop himself from flirting. "Is that so?" Trynt dared to ask. Rather than answer, Matt moved even closer to him. He reached up and placed his hand on Trynt's cheek, stroking his thumb over his cheekbone and tracing over his face as if he were memorising it. Trynt swallowed dryly as his breath caught. Matt just leant in farther so Trynt could feel his breath on his face. Their gazes locked, and Trynt closed the small distance between them. Matt sensed that Trynt wanted this as well. Even though things were moving rather quickly, neither seemed able to resist the pull of the connection that was drawing them together. Matt was eager to seal their lips together and taste Trynt on his tongue. "Doctor Andrews!" Wynne called. Matt and Trynt jumped apart as the door was thrown open. "We have a trauma coming in from the field." Trynt nodded as he stood. "Right, let's go," he said to Wynne, his eyes never leaving Matt's. "Captain, I'll be back to check on you later." "Thank you, Doctor Andrews," Matt said with a knowing smile. "It's no trouble at all." Trynt winked before following after Wynne. Matt rested back on his pillow, a smile on his face. It had been a hard few days, but things were suddenly looking up. ****

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Trynt returned later when his break was supposed to be taken. Matt set his book down. He hadn't really been reading; his thoughts had been drifting to Eric after an orderly brought his lover's belongings to him. He had lied and said he was going to ship them home, but Eric had no family. And all that was left was a pair of dog tags and a pair of flying wings similar to his own. But when Trynt entered, Matt pushed aside his depressing thoughts and his mood lifted, the younger man's presence lighting the room and putting him instantly at ease. "Everything okay?" Trynt asked, seeing the distress in Matt's eyes. Matt smiled, appreciating the concern. "It's better now. How about you?" Trynt smiled back. "Same; it's been another rough day..." He sank down onto the chair beside the bed with a relieved sigh. "I must confess I'm enjoying these moments where I can escape from it all." "I know what you mean." Matt paused uncertainly. "But Trynt, does Wynne know? The last thing I want is for you to get into trouble..." "Wynne is like a little sister to me. She won't say anything." Matt saw the look in Trynt's eyes that said he was touched by the concern. "Please just trust me," Trynt added, nearly pleading. "I do," he admitted, gazing at Trynt. "Even though I've only known you for two days."

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"What would you like to know about me?" Trynt scooted the chair closer to the bed so there was hardly any space between him and Matt. Matt thought for a moment. "Anything you want. I don't think there's anything I don't want to know." "All right then." Trynt put his hand over Matt's and leant in toward him. "Well, I was born in 1917. My tad—that's what I always called my father—came home from the First War and was overjoyed to find Mum had given birth. I have an older sister, Carys. She lives in Cardiff with my nephew, Bryson. Her husband, Kai, is on the front line. I graduated school early and started college when Tad fell ill. I went home for a bit, and he passed away." "I'm sorry. I lost my father too." Matt intertwined their fingers and traced Trynt's palm with his thumb. Trynt squeezed his hand. "I promised to make him proud, y'know? He wanted me to be a doctor, so I went back to studying until the war started. I signed up for him, followed in his footsteps. I worked my way up until I was injured in the trenches." He paused and smiled fondly. "It took a while to recover, but one day while I was getting my leg checked out, I met Jennie. We worked side by side for a little less than a year after I joined the London Hospital. I had had relationships before but was too busy with my nose in a book to ever be serious until she came along. In this crazy, messed-up war, she made me smile and gave me hope until, well, you know the rest..." He broke off, and Matt knew he didn't want bring it up again; he couldn't blame him. He looked up at Matt through his eyelashes. "Your turn." 26


Lifting their joined hands, he kissed Trynt's knuckles. He took a deep breath. "I was almost nine in 1917; it was the worst year of my life," he confessed, choking up as he remembered that year. "What happened? Did you lose your father that year?" Trynt's eyes filled with sadness. Matt was taken aback by that look; no one in his life had been so caring or felt sad for his pain. Eric had always told him to man up and ignore the past. For an inexplicable reason, he wanted to share it with Trynt, hoping the younger man wouldn't dismiss his feelings. "Yes, and my little brother, Michael. Dad moved the family a lot for work. Before the war, we stayed in France where my dad had moved us for a new job. He and Mum helped with the war effort when it started; he rebuilt and repaired planes while she worked the farms. Michael and I were sent to the country to try and keep us safe. A friend of my father's, Ty Benson, his mother lived there. "One day the village was attacked. Dad was visiting with Mum, promising us it was almost over and we'd be going back to London. We were out playing in the fields when the bombings started. Dad went back to get Mum. He told me to take Michael and run as far as I could... I was only nine, Trynt, I was so scared." Matt broke off roughly, his tone tight and wavering as he tried to tell Trynt the rest of that horrible day. "A bomb fell near us, and Michael panicked. He was there one minute, his hand in mine, and then he was gone." Matt's tears fell freely, and he could barely speak. "A bomb killed him instantly... I went back to the house and found that 27


my dad had been killed. Mum later told me that Dad had been murdered by a soldier while he was protecting her..." "Oh, Matt." Trynt moved from the chair to the bed and drew Matt into his arms. Matt began sobbing. He had never told anyone that before, and now that he had, it felt like it had happened just yesterday rather than twenty-six years ago. "I'm so sorry," Trynt whispered, pressing a kiss to Matt's hair. "I'm so sorry." Matt hiccupped through the tears as he took a deep breath. "Do you see what I mean about these wars taking away everyone I ever cared for? My mum hated me afterwards for losing Michael; I could just feel it," he said with regret and guilt. "She was so sad; it hurt to be around her. So when I could, I left for school, studied aeronautics and joined the Royal Air Force. As soon as the Second War started, I enlisted. I've been fighting ever since...to avenge them...to find some sort of forgiveness," he confessed, then hung his head unable to look at Trynt and see the loathing or recrimination for his mistake. Trynt pulled back in surprise and cupped Matt's face. "How can you blame yourself for a senseless and violent attack?" he asked in disbelief. "I should've have protected him!" Matt argued. It was his fault, his burden to bear in life. "He was only six years old, and I failed as his big brother to protect him!" "You didn't fail him. Matt, at that age you couldn't protect yourself, let alone him. Not from guns and falling bombs," Trynt reasoned, his voice filled with heartbreak. 28


Matt understood that Trynt was trying to get him to look at it that way as well, but after all this time, it wouldn't do much good. Trynt sighed as he reached for and squeezed Matt's hand. "You father shouldn't have you left you and Michael." "I can't blame him for it, though," Matt said brokenly. "And you can't blame yourself either." Trynt's tone was gentle. "It wasn't your fault, believe me, Matt. I don't even know how you've carried all that guilt these years." "I repress it and channel it into fighting against the enemy," Matt told him by way of explanation. Guilt and failure had kept him fighting for years, but he never found his forgiveness. He doubted he ever would. "But I've never told anyone, Trynt. It hurts too much. Please, this stays between us." Trynt wiped away Matt's tears, seeming to understand how deep a revelation he had been told. "It means a lot that you told me, that you trust me. I know we haven't known each other long, but I trust you too," he confessed. His gaze locked with Matt's, and he stared at him openly. Matt stared back, unable to look away. He had just bared his soul, and rather than shy away, Trynt was letting him see who he really was with just a look. He caressed Matt's cheeks with his thumbs. "And I'm here for you now, if you ever want to talk, cry or just rant." "Thank you," Matt whispered and pulled Trynt in for a fierce hug, clinging to him tightly as he took in the younger man's comforting scent. "Thank you, Trynt." Trynt hesitated over his words, then he said, "You're welcome, Matt." 29


"We make quite a pair, don't we?" Matt chuckled through his tears. "That we do," Trynt agreed. "Tell me more about yourself," he encouraged. Matt appreciated the change in the subject that would lighten the sombre mood and lift his melancholy. "Do you enjoy being a pilot?" "Yes. It's so freeing being up there in the sky. I thought I was untouchable...until I lost Eric." "Was Eric your only lover?" "Male, yes," Matt answered honestly, resting his head on Trynt's shoulder as he moved further into the comfort of Trynt's arms. "Eric meant a lot to me because he accepted my sexuality. Before the war, Mum tried to set me up with a young woman named Anne. She insisted I was getting too old not to settle down with a wife and children, while waiting for a war that wouldn't happen. "Anne and I courted. She was a beautiful girl, but being with her didn't feel right. Yet I couldn't hurt Mum again, so I carried on pretending, hurting poor Anne in the process. When I got my shipping orders, I was so relieved to get away. I thought Anne could move on and forget me, but I made a mistake, and we spent one night together. I should never have led her on or done that; it just happened because she was heartbroken and thought I hated her. I tried to make it better and only made it worse..." The touch let Matt know the younger man felt for him and wanted to comfort him in some way. "I'm sorry," Trynt whispered, soothing running his fingers through Matt's hair. 30


"I don't want to make mistakes anymore," he admitted, determined to change he gazed up at Trynt. "I refuse to deny being who I am—at least, to myself—or let others tell me how to live my life. Well, as much as I can while avoiding jail and dishonourable discharge. I know what I want, and I'm not settling for anything less." He knew that Trynt was who he wanted, and he wasn't going to do anything to mess up what was happening between them. With Eric it had been mostly just physical, but with Trynt there was a connection that went beyond that. It was like nothing he'd ever felt. "You shouldn't. You should go after what you want." Trynt touched Matt's cheek. "That's the only way to get it." Matt turned and nuzzled his face in Trynt's neck. "Oh believe me, I will." He paused, then took a chance at saying what he felt. "Being with you just feels right," he said barely above a whisper. "Feeling's mutual," Trynt replied as he rubbed Matt's back. "Are you okay?" "I will be," Matt answered, wanting to say, "As long as I have you." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Four There was a knock on the door, and Wynne entered. Matt hadn't heard; his face was buried in Trynt's neck, and he was clinging to him. Trynt didn't stop rubbing soothing circles on Matt's back. His heart had skipped a beat at Matt's confession a moment ago, and he knew he was falling in love with the captain. It felt like Matt belonged in his arms, just like this, and he didn't want to let go. Wynne did have the worst timing, though. He looked over at her. He and Wynne had worked together for years and become good friends. Though he sometimes didn't like her coddling, or interfering in his lack of a love life, he knew she meant well and her heart was in the right place. "Something you need, Wynne?" Trynt felt Matt freeze in his arms, more than likely uncomfortable at being caught in such a vulnerable state. To his delight, Matt seemed too content to move from his arms. Trynt wanted so badly to comfort the broken man he held, kiss away every tear and erase every hurt. It amazed him how strongly he felt that for Matt, but there it was. "The chief wants to know if you can work an extra shift tonight," Wynne told him, giving him an apologetic look for being the bearer of bad news. "Damn Aston," Trynt muttered in frustration. "As if I haven't already worked two shifts."

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"Lucy volunteered, but you know a male doctor has to oversee her work. And Ben is complaining again," she said in exasperation. "She's a far better surgeon than me," Trynt huffed, then scrubbed a hand across his face. "Remind me again, Wynne, why we fight when women like you and Lucy can't do what you should be able to? Not to mention, Matt and I have to hide who we are. It makes me so angry!" Wynne gave a weary sigh. "We're fighting for change... In hopes of making the world a better place. Where love is blind and everyone is equal," she said resolutely. "Maybe it won't happen now, but we have to try." "She's right." Matt pulled back and looked over at the young Welshwoman, admiring her courage and hope of a better world. Trynt smiled and nodded; Wynne's compassion always gave him hope, even in the worst of times. "I know. Tell Aston I'll do it only if Lucy is working as well." "You got it." Wynne smiled back and left the room. "Remind me never to cross her," Matt said once she shut the door. "Wynne is not one you want to get on your bad side. She's loyal and loving to a fault. And isn't afraid to say and do as she thinks. She's in the Women's Army Corps, y'know." "Really?" Matt said in surprise. "And she thinks you're handsome enough to be a film star," Trynt teased, pleased to see Matt's mood lifting, thanks to the interruption. 33


Matt grinned. "I get that a lot. I hadn't really noticed her, to be honest." He shrugged, then looked at Trynt through his eyelashes. "Not with you around." Trynt turned slightly red under the compliment. "Flatterer." "It's the truth." Matt's face was completely serious. "Have you ever been flying?" Trynt raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in the topic. "No... Wait, is that some sort of innuendo?" They both laughed. "It could be, but not this time. Flying is indescribable, Trynt. It gives you this amazing freedom and escape as you see everything below you..." Matt said, happiness and awe evident in his tone. "I'll have to take you sometime. If you want to, that is," he added hesitantly. "I'd like that." Trynt decided that anything that put that look in Matt's eyes must be amazing. He could only imagine what it must be like up in the skies. "Are you sure you're okay?" "Not really, but I have a feeling I will be." Matt took Trynt's hand. They gazed at each other for a few moments, the atmosphere between them changing and sizzling with unspoken need and attraction. Trynt leant in a little closer so that Matt could feel his breath on his lips. "Can I kiss you?" Trynt dared to ask, hands going up to cup Matt's face. Matt's ocean blue eyes were deep and intriguing, and his sandy brown hair had a messy yet styled look to it. Graced with strong features, a chiselled jaw, high cheekbones and a lean, broad-shouldered frame, he was 34


utterly captivating. Trynt was dying to kiss those full lips, to run his tongue along those perfect teeth and hear Matt sigh with that deep and husky voice of his. Rather than answer, Matt closed the distance and captured Trynt's lips against his own in a kiss that started tender, then quickly turned passionate. With the gentle pressure of Trynt's tongue against his lips, Matt opened his mouth, letting it slip inside and tangle with his. Matt pulled him closer so that he was almost in his lap. He let out a pleased sigh as Trynt bit his lower lip. Trynt moaned when Matt's tongue hit the roof of his mouth. Matt's fingers tangled in Trynt's hair as they continued kissing, both needing air but not wanting to pull apart just yet as they explored each other's mouths and unique tastes. Their lips fit together like it was the most natural thing in the world, and they melted into the embrace, holding each other tightly as everything else faded away. When they finally pulled apart, Matt rested his forehead against Trynt's. "Wow," Trynt breathed, quickly blushing as he realised he had spoken aloud. One kiss and already there was no denying that he had strong feelings for Matt. He would take the risks just to give them a shot at being together, because he had never felt this way. They just fit; two lost souls finally finding each other in the dark world, giving each other hope that there was more to life after all. "Yes," Matt whispered and kissed Trynt softly. All of a sudden, he pleaded, "Please, Trynt, you have to go. I can't be held responsible if you don't." His hands ran down Trynt's body, caressing and touching. 35


"What do you mean?" Trynt gave him a coy smile, thinking he knew just what Matt meant. It filled him with desire, knowing he was affecting Matt just as much as the older man was affecting him. The urge to peel off Matt's clothes and discover every inch of him was overwhelming. "This will sound sappy, but my body is aching for you right now. I want to lose myself in you and how good you make me feel with just a kiss," Matt confessed in a rush, eyes darkened with longing. "But we can't, not here." "What if I don't want to leave?" Trynt knew he shouldn't say the words, but he was unable to stop himself. His own need and desire for Matt were clouding his judgment. "What if I need you?" Even he could hear the arousal in his voice as his accent thickened. "Oh God, yes." Matt's restraint snapped, and he straddled Trynt's hips, pressing their arousals together as he kissed him hungrily once more. He wanted every moment with Trynt he could get. He had kissed quite a few people, but no one had ever kissed him like that, and it had never felt so good. He locked gazes with the younger man, wanting to stay in his arms where he was certain that nothing could ever go wrong. Hope surged through his body that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't destined to be alone, and he felt so alive. Trynt had just knocked his world off-kilter with a simple kiss. "Need you too," Matt panted into Trynt's mouth. He left a trail of kisses from Trynt's lips down his jaw to his neck. Trynt tilted his head back, giving him better access. Matt let out a hum of approval as Trynt's hands roamed under 36


his pyjama top, touching his skin, then the bandages wrapped around his waist, but he paid it no mind. Matt wondered why Trynt stopped exploring his body, but couldn't resist nipping at the smooth column of Trynt's exposed neck. "Matt." Trynt gasped at the sensation. He loved the sound of his name on Trynt's lips and pressed a kiss to Trynt's neck, thinking the younger man wanted more, until Trynt cupped his face to get his attention. "You're right; we can't. You're injured," Trynt pointed out, then kissed his eyes, cheeks and lips. "And I would never want to hurt you." "You wouldn't." Matt stared at him for a moment as he fought through the haze of need and desire to focus. "I had forgotten... It doesn't even hurt," he admitted, knowing that was because of Trynt. Trynt gave him a relieved smile. "As a doctor, I'll take that as a compliment." Matt laughed and then kissed Trynt soundly. "God, Trynt, what are you doing to me?" He didn't really expect an answer; he wanted the other man to know just how much he was affecting him. "I could ask the same of you, Matt." Trynt ran his fingers through Matt's thick hair. "I don't know..." Matt wrapped his arms around Trynt. "But I do know being with you just feels right." He repeated his earlier thoughts. Trynt nodded in agreement. "It does... I've never—"

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He kissed Trynt, craving the feel of Trynt's lips against his. He understood what the younger man meant; no one had ever made him feel this way. "Neither have I." They fell into a comfortable silence, holding each other and not ready to let go as they shared kisses. Matt knew Trynt had to rest before returning to work soon, because he'd be no good dead on his feet. Still, he didn't want him to go. Trynt was clearly having similar thoughts and sighed. "All right, I have to go and get some rest in the doctors' lounge before the next shift starts. But I'll be back in the morning to see you before I go home." "Okay." Matt sighed as well. "Can I leave soon?" "I'll discharge you tomorrow." Trynt looked at him in concern. "Where will you go?" "I'm on medical leave, so I guess a hotel." Matt shrugged. "I'll be on my own until I recover." "Stay with me; I have a spare room," Trynt suggested, then quickly added, "If you want... There's no pressure, Matt. I just want to give you somewhere to stay where you don't have to worry about anything. I have a roommate, Kimi, and a dog, Cadwyn, but they'll love you," he assured him. Matt hated the thought of being alone in a cold, lonely hotel room with no other place to go. He'd much rather be with Trynt. "It beats a cold hotel room. Will you be taking care of me?" Matt asked with a hopeful grin. "Are you that much of a slob?" Trynt teased. "Actually...yes, and I'll probably need some help," Matt admitted as he looked down at his injured side. "I can't lift much or bend down." 38


"All the more reason you shouldn't be alone," Trynt pointed out. Grasping his hands, almost pleading, he added, "Please, I don't want you to be alone." Matt shook his head. He didn't want to let Trynt go, but he didn't want pity or for Trynt to think it was just an excuse to not be alone. Not when it meant so much more. "I don't want to put you out or make you think I just want a warm bed." He reached up to trace Trynt's lip with his thumb. "You're amazing, Trynt. And whatever this is, I don't want to risk or lose it by moving too fast." Trynt kissed Matt's thumb. "That won't happen. As your friend, I'm giving you a place to stay. You and I can figure this out together while you get better," he offered. Matt could see in Trynt's eyes that he truly wanted this. "I want you to stay with me." "All right, I'd like that." Matt gave in, knowing it was what he really wanted. He didn't want Trynt to think he was taking advantage of him because he had nowhere to go. However, it was obvious the other man didn't think that. He knew then it was a lost cause fighting against the instant connection he felt to the younger man. He already had strong feelings for him and knew it'd be so easy to fall in love with Trynt. One look into those gorgeous gray-blue eyes and he forgot everything but the handsome man before him. "Thank you. I want to stay with you, I really do." "You're welcome." Trynt caressed Matt's cheek. "Whatever this is, I'm looking forward to finding out," he admitted with a small smile. 39


Matt broke into a full-on smile. "Me too." He kissed Trynt again, then they reluctantly broke apart, and Trynt got up. Matt gingerly stood and followed him to the door before he pulled Trynt into a hug. "Don't work too hard," Matt cautioned, hating the thought of Trynt running himself ragged and not getting any rest. "You already worry me with the hours you put into this place." "I won't. Lucy will be doing everything. I'm just there to shut Aston up. I'll be in my office doing reports and backlogs while she runs the show," Trynt reassured him. The kiss he gave him let Matt know he appreciated the concern. "What did you say her last name was?" Matt asked suddenly. Trynt raised an eyebrow at the question. "I didn't, but it's Lloyd-Garrison." "Lucy Lloyd," Matt said fondly. "I was wondering if it was her." "She had a friend who used to—oh it's you!" Trynt exclaimed in surprise. Matt saw the pieces fall into place for the younger man. He guessed that Trynt had heard about him from Lucy's stories. Matt recalled that she loved to tell everyone about her adventures with David, who had travelled all over the continent saving lives and providing supplies for the men on the front line. Matt smiled. "We met once when I flew her and a friend of mine, David Harper, out to the border of Germany to help the wounded." 40


"Not the Doctor Harper who helped with flu epidemic in London," Trynt said in awe. "David Harper is said to be the best doctor on the continent, renowned for his techniques and unique healing methods. He's saved hundreds over the years. Some see him as a genius, others a quack, but I see him as a brilliant man and have studied many of his techniques and reports," he said in a rush of excitement, then blushed slightly in embarrassment. "That's him," Matt confirmed with a chuckle, amused that David always seemed to inspire such a response when he just saw him as a friend and an ordinary man trying to make a difference. "We met at the height of the London Blitz, when he stopped that flu epidemic from breaking out due to the unsanitary conditions. I was there at the time on leave," he recalled. "I got caught up in helping him and another friend— long story that I can tell you later—and, well, he's a good friend now." "You know you're pretty amazing yourself, Matt." Affection filled Trynt's voice. "Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment," Matt replied, giving Trynt a tender look. Trynt smiled. "You should, and I want to hear that story sometime." "You'll have to buy me dinner first." Matt's tone teased, and they both laughed. "Maybe take me to a film." "It's a date." Trynt winked. "Good. Go get some rest," Matt urged before he gave Trynt a quick kiss. "I'd offer to let you stay to just sleep, but 41


that camp bed is too small for the two of us to fit comfortably." "We've both slept on worse, I'm sure, and would manage. But if we fell asleep, anyone could walk in," Trynt said with a heavy sigh, and Matt knew they both hated that they had to hide. "So I'll see you tomorrow." "Tomorrow," Matt agreed, wishing Trynt could stay. He had never really let anyone take care of him. When his demons came to haunt him, he turned into himself and dealt with them. But right now what he really wanted was for Trynt just to hold him while he got some sleep. "Oh, tell Lucy I'm hurt she hasn't been to see me," he added, pretending to pout. Trynt laughed. "I will." "Good night, Trynt. Thank you again for everything." "Good night, Matt. Anytime." Trynt kissed him good-bye, then reluctantly left the room. With a smile still on his lips, Matt went back to bed and fell into a peaceful sleep. He dreamed of Trynt and the time they would spend together. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Five The next morning, Trynt had Matt discharged from the hospital before he left so he could go home with him. It took Matt some time to get up the two flights of stairs to the flat, but he managed by leaning on Trynt for support. Trynt unlocked the door, and before he could do anything, Cadwyn bounded toward them. She was a beautiful German shepherd, brown with black and gray markings. She was wearing a light blue collar with a simple silver name tag. Trynt had rescued her from an abandoned home not long after he'd lost Jennie. Cadwyn, who had been a sick and malnourished pup, had been just what he needed: someone to look after and care for with loyalty and love in return. "Oh, she's beautiful." Matt held out his hand as the German shepherd sniffed him, then licked his hand. "Hello girl." He rubbed her ears, and she sat, wagging her tail. Trynt grinned, pleased that Cadwyn had taken a shine to Matt. Usually she was fiercely protective and wouldn't let a stranger near him. But with Matt she was relaxed and being her overly affectionate self. "She likes you. Anyone else and she'd have them pinned to the door." Matt laughed and continued to pet Cadwyn as she stood, rested her paws on his arm, and tried to lick him. "Good guard dog, then, and lucky me." Trynt set Matt's duffel bag on the floor as Matt followed him to the lounge. It was sparsely decorated in warm colours of brown and yellow with photos of Trynt's family, various 43


books stacked on shelves, and corner tables that belonged to both him and Kimi. There was an old leather settee and matching chair, along with a coffee table, and near the fireplace mantel there was a radio and gramophone. To the left was the kitchen with a small dining table and down the hall were two bedrooms, an office/guest room, and a small bathroom. Trynt had picked it for its bathroom. The newlyinstalled shower had appealed to him, as his injury made it difficult to use a bath when his leg was stiff and refused to bend. "It's not much, but it's enough for now." Trynt turned toward the hall. "Kimi? Are you home?" he called out. Kimi Ito was his best friend from University. They had met in a Maths class and instantly became inseparable. They'd stayed in touch throughout the years, and not long after he'd lost Jennie, Kimi had showed up, asking if she could stay with him. She'd been kicked out of her flat because the landlord believed she was a Japanese spy, both because of her heritage and the landlord's fear caused by the war. Kimi's mother was Japanese and her father British, and she was the spitting image of her mother. Small and petite, Kimi had cropped black hair, emerald green eyes, and a sweet smile that put everyone at ease. Kimi had told him about how the landlord had refused to believe that Kimi was a decoder and threw her out with hardly a chance to pack her things, leaving her with nowhere to go. Trynt had been in need of a friend and hated his empty flat, so she moved in. They had been living together ever since. 44


"It's a palace compared to where I was staying." Matt went to remove his greatcoat, but Trynt stepped over. "Let me help with that." Trynt slipped the RAF greatcoat from Matt's shoulders, then hung it up on the coatrack, admiring it for a moment. "I really like this coat. Finely tailored and durable, though it could use a few repairs." "I need to do that, but it's been a busy week." "Yes, I know. I saw the strawberry jam on your collar," Trynt teased, eyes twinkling with amusement, and they laughed. "I could fix it if you like. My Uncle Dai was a master tailor; I worked for him a few summers as a boy." "Thanks, I'd really appreciate that. But only if you have the time, and as long as it's no trouble." Trynt gave him a chaste kiss. "You're welcome, and it's not any trouble. Why don't you sit and catch your breath? I'll make us some coffee." "That sounds great." Matt grinned and started to sit, when he caught sight of Kimi entering the room. "Kimiko?" he asked in surprise. "Matt!" Kimi cried and ran over to embrace him. "Oh, it's so good to see you again!" "You too!" Matt kissed the top of her head. "I didn't think we'd ever meet again, but this is fantastic." Trynt stared at him in amazement, realising that Matt was the one who Kimi had told him about. He'd almost lost his friend when she'd been working in Paris a few years back. Kimi was supposed to be in a safe house, working on intercepting codes while the Germans stormed the continent. Somehow they'd found and kidnapped her. Being such an 45


asset and having more than enough secrets, a mission had been put in place to rescue her. Trynt recalled Kimi telling him in relief that a gorgeous pilot named Matt and his partner had saved her not a moment too soon from the soldiers who had started their interrogation. "From now on, when someone tells me a story involving a man named Matt, I'm just going to assume it's you," he said, voice light with affection. Matt chuckled and then shrugged. "I'm either infamous or famous, you pick." "Considering you saved my best friend's life, I choose the latter," Trynt answered with admiration. "I can never thank you enough for that." Kimi gave him a grateful look. "I owe you my life." "No, you don't. You've saved so many lives with your skills as a decoder," Matt said with pride. "You are a brilliant woman and it was my honour to help you." "You're a hero, Matt." Kimi kissed his cheek. "Don't let anyone tell you different." Matt swallowed the lump in his throat. "Thank you." He winced, and his hand went to his side. Trynt noticed immediately that he was in pain and steered him to the couch. "Easy," Trynt soothed, helping Matt stretch out on the settee. "We're going to have to give you a few days before you conquer those stairs again." He lifted Matt's shirt and checked the bandages, making sure nothing had torn. Satisfied everything was fine, he caressed Matt's side before pulling the shirt back down. 46


"You just don't want me to leave," Matt joked, though the look in his eyes was serious. Trynt broke into a smile. "Perhaps. Why don't you and Kimi catch up, and I'll get that coffee?" Coffee was hard to come by due to the rationing, so he saved it for special occasions. Since he had promised Matt a cup it wouldn't hurt to treat themselves a little. "Oh, you're in for a treat. Trynt's coffee is heavenly," Kimi praised. "Why does that not surprise me?" Matt winked at Trynt. He started to pull the younger man down for a quick kiss but stopped. Trynt caught the hesitation, knowing he was unsure about Kimi, and closed the distance to give Matt a quick kiss. He knew his friend didn't care. They'd already talked, and Kimi was happy that he'd met someone new and was starting to heal from the loss of Jennie. Cadwyn wandered over and curled up on the floor next to Matt as Kimi sat in the chair opposite him. Trynt went to the kitchen and started moving about, listening to the conversation as he prepared the coffee. "So, what trouble have you been into, Kimi?" Matt teased good-naturedly. He dropped his hand down and rubbed Cadwyn's head when she nudged him. "The usual, just your everyday decoding problems, strategic planning, and coordinating of troops," Kimi listed off. "I see you've been busy as well." "Flesh wound." Matt brushed it off. Then his voice lowered. "I...I lost someone though..." Kimi reached over and squeezed his knee. "I'm so sorry." 47


"Me too, but..." Matt looked over at the kitchen, and Trynt caught his eye, giving him a warm smile. "Trynt has been amazing these past few days; I don't know what I would've done..." "He has that effect on people." Kimi smiled in understanding. "It's why he makes such a great doctor." Matt nodded, then looked over at her seriously. "It's more than that though, Kimi." "I can see that," Kimi agreed, then dropped her voice so only Matt could hear. Trynt knew his friend was giving Matt a warning about being careful because of his losses, but Matt already knew about them. "He told me about Jennie," Matt replied loud enough to hear, and Trynt again caught his gaze. "And his tad." Trynt turned to them, seeing that Kimi was surprised; she'd been his only confidant about both Jennie and his tad until now. "Okay then... He's happier than I've seen him in quite some time," she confessed. She pointed at him threateningly. "But as his friend, I have to say you hurt him and you know what I can do, Captain." Matt gave her a mock salute. "Yes, ma'am." He looked at her, turning serious, and Trynt's breath caught at his next words. "I won't do that though. I promise." Kimi nodded as Trynt walked in with a tray of coffees. He passed a blue mug to Matt with a smile, and Matt returned the warm smile with one of his own. Matt sat up a little and took a sip of the dark liquid. "Wow. You weren't kidding, Kimi. That's the best coffee I've ever tasted." 48


Trynt blushed as he lifted Matt's feet and took a seat. "You are a flatterer and it will get you everywhere." "It's the truth though," Matt grinned. "If we sat the superpowers down and gave them a pot of this coffee, we could have the war ended in no time flat." "If only if it were that easy," Trynt said wistfully. "But thank you for the compliment." Matt rubbed his foot against Trynt's thigh, and Trynt bit back a gasp at the heated touch, which caused the older man to smile. "Anytime." "So, Matt, how long are you on leave?" Kimi asked, changing the subject. "Two weeks. Then light duties, training of recruits, repairs to my Spitfire, and office work for a month or so." Kimi took a sip of her coffee. "Will they ship you out again?" Trynt stiffened at the thought of Matt returning to the horrors of the war, scared at the thought of losing him. He relaxed a little as Matt lightly rubbed his foot against Trynt's thigh in a comforting gesture. "I don't know," Matt answered with a shrug. "It depends if I'm needed." Trynt set his coffee down, ending the subject. "Enough talk of the war. Why don't we decide on dinner?" "A home-cooked meal?" Matt asked, and Trynt could hear his excitement. He loved how much Matt appreciated simple things. He shrugged. "Well, I'm no chef, but yes." "I can help," Matt offered, seeming to like the idea of cooking with him. Trynt liked the idea himself; he'd never 49


done domestic. Jennie had lived with her parents, wanting to do things properly before moving in together. They'd never got the chance, he thought sadly. Matt's concerned and earnest gaze brought him back to the present and his second chance. "This is nice, simple, and domestic. I could really get used to it," Matt confessed with a nervous smile, and Trynt wondered if Matt was thinking like he was. Trynt rubbed Matt's foot and gave him a concerned look. "You deserve it." "So do you." Matt met his gaze. "Maybe I can get you to not work so hard now that I'm here." "Oh, please do," Kimi agreed with a firm nod. "Aston works him to the bone." Trynt shook his head. "Everyone is overworked." "That may be true, but with your eidetic memory, you could easily take his job, and things would be better for everyone," Kimi argued, determined to get her point across, as they had talked about this often. He knew Kimi had a point, but it wasn't what he wanted. "We have this argument every day," he told Matt by way of explanation. "I have no desire to be in charge. I'm not even sure I want to be a doctor when this is all over." "What would you do?" Matt asked. Trynt shrugged and then thought for a moment. "I don't know. A professor of literature and poetry, perhaps?" "Emerson." Matt smiled in understanding. "Precisely. Do you think about it? What you want to do afterwards?" Trynt asked, wondering what Matt would say. 50


"No, but—" Matt locked gazes with Trynt "—I'm starting to." Trynt's lips turned up into a smile. "Me too." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Six Later that night, after a wonderful meal of beef, potatoes, and fresh bread, followed by a few drinks of scotch, they all turned in. Trynt and Matt were both unsure they could resist the temptation of being close together while just sleeping in a bed. Matt was in a fair amount of pain, so Trynt had helped him settle into the guest bed. Sometime in the middle of the night, Trynt woke to Matt's screams. He threw on his dressing gown before rushing down the hall. He opened the door to the guest room and switched on the light to see what was wrong. "Mikey!" Matt cried in his sleep. Trynt noticed with dismay that the bed sheets were covered with spots of Matt's blood because of his thrashing and twisting in his sleep. "No!" Matt screamed; his eyes screwed shut as his fists tightly clutched the sheets. "Matt!" Trynt rushed over to the bed. He quickly grabbed Matt's hands, crossed them over the older man's chest, and carefully restrained him to stop his movement. "Matt, you're safe," he soothed. "It's me, Trynt. I'm here. Please wake up for me." Kimi appeared in the doorway and gasped. "Oh God. Is he okay?" "Yes, but I need my med bag, Kimi. Please," Trynt told her, eyes never leaving Matt. She ran from the room, and Trynt squeezed Matt's hands as his eyes snapped open, tears spilling from them. Trynt 52


knelt on the bed. He wanted to draw Matt into his arms and hold him close to comfort him but was afraid that moving Matt might make the injury worse, and he didn't want that. "Trynt?" Matt cried out in pain. "God, it hurts! What's wrong?" Trynt held Matt's gaze as he fully woke. "Shh, you tore the stitches in your side a little while you were having a nightmare. I can patch you up, but I need you to stay still for me, okay?" Matt nodded, and Trynt let go of his hands. He ran his fingers through Matt's hair and leant in to kiss him. "It's going to be okay. I'm here," he comforted. Matt gave him a weak smile. "You're here." Kimi set the medical kit on the bed. "Thanks, Kimi. Could you get me a flannel and a bowl of warm water too, please?" Trynt asked, not wanting to leave Matt's side. "Sure," she replied and left again. "I hate people seeing me like this," Matt said in a near whisper, eyes downcast as he chewed on his lip. Trynt cupped Matt's jaw, forcing the older man to look at him. "Everyone has nightmares, Matt. There's nothing to be ashamed of," he said in understanding. "But Kimi—" "I still think you're the dashing captain who saved my life. That won't ever change," Kimi said honestly as she walked in and set the flannels and bowl of water on the nightstand.. Matt smiled as she kissed his temple, then left the room. "Thank you, Kimi," he called out. 53


"I still owe you one," she called back, and Trynt knew Matt would've laughed if he wasn't in so much pain. "Let's check you out." Trynt opened his medical bag. He pulled back the sheet and winced as he saw the bandage twisted and bloodied. Matt was wearing only his pyjama bottoms, his torso bare, and his injury exposed. "Is it bad?" Matt asked, his lower lip trembling with worry. Matt winced as Trynt's fingers gently peeled away the bandage and he examined the wound. "You just ripped a stitch or two. It's not so bad," Trynt assured him, trying to put Matt at ease. Matt hesitantly looked down, seeming afraid that he'd done serious damage because of his night terror. Trynt gazed up at him, briefly squeezing Matt's hand. "Really, it just looks worse than it is. I can take care of it." "I'm sorry, I should have told you that sometimes they get violent, and I can't wake up on my own." Matt put his hand over Trynt's. "You've nothing to be sorry for." Trynt ran his thumb over Matt's palm. "Though I wish you had told me. I wouldn't have let you sleep alone." "I wouldn't have behaved myself," Matt joked as Trynt rifled through his medical bag, checking to be sure he had everything he needed. "No, probably not," Trynt agreed with a chuckle, knowing Matt was trying to lighten the mood. "But I'd rather you feel good than be in pain." Trynt reached inside his bag and pulled out the necessary supplies, cleaning then stitching the wound closed again. Once that was finished, he dressed the wound and replaced 54


the bandages. He then dipped the flannel in the water and cleaned the dried blood on Matt's abdomen. "How's that?" Trynt asked in concern, fingers lingering over Matt's tanned skin as he made sure the bandage was taped securely. He was trying so hard to focus on taking care of Matt and not stare at his beautiful body laid out before him. It hadn't helped that Matt had been watching him so intently, with a look in his eyes that made Trynt want to wrap Matt in his arms and chase away his terrors so he could sleep. "Better," Matt admitted, the pain fading from his eyes, to Trynt's relief. "Can you stand?" Trynt cleaned up the mess as Matt looked at him questioningly. "I thought you wouldn't want to sleep on your own." Matt pushed himself to his feet, wrapped his arms around Trynt's waist, and buried his face in Trynt's neck, breathing in deeply as his body trembled uncontrollably. "I don't... I want to be with you, Trynt," he whispered, barely able to speak as he fought back tears. "Please make it all go away." "I'll do whatever it takes." Trynt held Matt close, his heart filling with affection at the confession. "And I want you with me. Let's get some sleep, huh?" Matt nodded and followed Trynt to his bedroom. They climbed into bed, and Matt wrapped himself around Trynt, kissing him before resting his head on Trynt's chest, presumably so he could hear the steady beat of his heart. He hoped it was a comfort to Matt, who closed his eyes as his body relaxed and a look of peacefulness settled across his face. 55


Trynt ran his fingers through Matt's hair, lightly scratching his scalp. He smiled as Matt nearly purred in contentment. "No more nightmares, Matt. You're safe." "You here," Matt murmured as he gave in to sleep. "And I think I'm falling in love with you." Trynt gasped, almost not hearing the whispered words against his skin. "Matt?" He ran his hand down the older man's bare back, watching the muscles ripple under his touch. "Are you asleep?" The only response he got was Matt's quiet snores. "I know I'm falling in love with you." Trynt lay awake thinking about Matt as he caressed and soothed him quietly, making sure he wouldn't be tormented by his nightmares again. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seven The next day at the hospital, Trynt was in the lounge pouring himself a cup of coffee when Ben Parker walked in. Ben was a head shorter than him, but the brash Londoner was wiry and thin, and what he lacked in height he more than made up for in attitude. Trynt always tried to steer clear of the other man to avoid trouble. Wynne had told Trynt that before the war Ben had lost his fiancee, Elisabeth, to cancer and had become bitter and angry. Adding to that, Ben just didn't get along with him, insulting and taking cheap shots whenever he could. He was a brilliant doctor, though, so Trynt just let it roll off of him. The hospital and the soldiers needed all the doctors they could get. "Andrews," Ben huffed in way of greeting. "Parker." Trynt sipped his coffee and decided just to ignore the other doctor. "So, what are you going to do without the captain today? Think you'll actually work now?" Ben sneered, gray eyes flashing in annoyance. "Piss off, Ben. I covered three shifts the other day," Trynt snapped in irritation. Ben crossed his arms and leant against the wall. "That's nothing." He shrugged. "What was going on, huh? You've got hero worship or something?" "He was injured, and fighting infection is key, you know that. And his squadron was attacked; he lost good men. I was 57


just being a good listener and giving a damn about my patients," Trynt replied in a clipped tone, trying not to let Ben rile him up. "You should try it sometime." "Not for me, because I don't give a damn," Ben said in a cynical voice. "Cold and clinical, simple and easy." Trynt shook his head, deciding it was best to just leave. "I've got work to do." "You really shouldn't get any closer to the captain. He's pegged as the man who can't die, while everyone around him does," Ben said lightly as if discussing the weather rather than someone else's pain. "Why would you repeat such a thing?" Trynt hissed, tone dropping dangerously low. His anger flared at the insensitive and cruel words. "Just a warning," Ben replied with a shrug. Trynt set down his coffee harder than he intended, and the hot beverage scalded his hand as it sloshed over the rim. "Yeah, well, I don't care, because you could say that about me too. I should've died plenty of times but haven't." "Good for you, Andrews. Do you want a pat on the back?" Contempt filled Ben's tone. "You would do well to remember other people have feelings. Or do you not remember what those are?" Trynt asked, almost feeling sorry for the other man. "Fuck you, Andrews." Ben shot him a dark glare. "Not even in your sad dreams," Trynt retorted, knowing it could get him in trouble but saying it anyway just to piss off Ben. 58


Ben stared at him in shock. "What is the big deal with the captain, huh? You got a crush? I knew a weak and pathetic boy like yourself would be a poof. In your sad dreams, Trynt. You're going to be his quick fuck before he goes back to the war." That hit a nerve, and Trynt stalked forward and shoved Ben. "You're such a wanker sometimes. What did I ever do to you? You think I haven't lost someone? You think I haven't suffered?" he said, voice laced with venom. "So what if you have? You think I care?" Ben raged. "You know what my problem is? I study medicine for years and bust my arse to get where I am. You walk in and become a prodigy to Aston. You shouldn't even be an intern, yet you're almost higher than me!" Trynt rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to fight and prove myself to you. I don't have to. I know I've worked hard. I give everything I have to this damn hospital and get nothing in return." He stepped toward the door, then threw a dark glare at Ben. "You know Elisabeth would be so disappointed to see you like this," he added as a parting shot. Ben roughly grabbed Trynt as Wynne walked in. "Something the matter?" she asked, looking between the two of them in concern. "I was just leaving," Trynt replied, pushing Ben away as he walked out. **** Later that day, Trynt was relieved to finally be home when he entered his flat. He smiled, as he saw it had been tidied 59


up. There was music playing and the smell of something baking. He hung up his coat and toed off his shoes as Matt came in from the kitchen. He was dressed in a white undershirt, his blue button-up shirt discarded, and trousers with his braces hanging at his sides and his feet bare. Trynt's smile grew at the sight of him, and all of the worries and problems of the day faded away. It felt good coming home to him. "Welcome home," Matt greeted him and hugged then kissed Trynt. "I'm not good at sitting still, but I'm feeling okay, so I straightened up and put together some dinner with what you had in the fridge." Trynt cupped Matt's cheek. "Thank you, it smells delicious." "I made a beef stew with the leftovers." Matt led Trynt to the lounge. "But first, care to dance?" Trynt noticed Matt had pushed the coffee table aside to give them the room to dance. "I'd love to." He took Matt's hand. Matt led him to the centre of the room, turned the radio up, then wrapped his arms around Trynt's waist. Trynt looped around Matt's neck and held him close, feeling himself relax as they swayed to the music of Rudy Vallee. "How was your day?" Matt asked. "Not as good as yesterday. I didn't have you to talk to and check on when I needed a break." "So no other patients got my care?" Matt teased, though Trynt heard the slight insecurity. 60


Trynt held Matt a little tighter. "No, you were a very special case." "Is that so?" Matt asked with a smile, and Trynt nodded. "Lucky me, then." He kissed Trynt, then gazed at him in concern. "So, was it too bad?" "It was relatively quiet; a few incidents with patients and Ben was an arse earlier. We nearly got into a fight," Trynt admitted with a heavy sigh. Secretly he was pleased that Matt could tell when something was bothering him. "What happened? Was it me?" Matt's voice was laced with worry. Trynt rested his head on Matt's shoulder. "Yes and no. He doesn't like me, and he just wanted to get a rise out of me, so he said some things..." Matt caressed the small of Trynt's back. "How could anyone not like you?" he asked in disbelief. Trynt couldn't help but smile at Matt. "You're sweet. But don't worry, he's just upset that because of the war, I rose up in the hospital pretty fast and became an asset with my quick learning skills. He has seniority and hates that it's so effortless for me to do things." "Well, that's hardly fair," Matt scoffed, seeming just as irritated with Ben as Trynt was. "He can't blame you for being brilliant." "He can and he does." "I'm sorry." Matt pressed a kiss to Trynt's temple. "Don't be. He doesn't matter, and I shouldn't have let it get to me," Trynt acknowledged. "What did he say?" Matt pressed. 61


Trynt sighed, not wanting to tell Matt but not wanting to lie either. "He said some cruel things about me being queer and that there was no way someone like yourself could ever like someone like me." He repeated Ben's words, dropping his gaze. "I would just be a quick shag before you left. He was pushing my buttons, and I reacted like he wanted, even though I knew it wasn't true." "What does that prat know?" Matt growled. "You could never be just a shag." He took a calming breath and cupped Trynt's cheek. "And Trynt, I'm pretty sure it's the other way around. I'm not sure why you would want someone as damaged as I am," he said, voice vulnerable and filled with insecurity. "But last night... What you did, it meant so much to me." Trynt's breath caught as he saw the truth in Matt's eyes. He felt the rest of the tension leave his body; he knew Ben was just being cruel, but hearing Matt say that meant a great deal. "He was wrong, I know that. He doesn't know you or me. And he certainly doesn't know anything about us." He ran his fingers through the hairs on the nape of Matt's neck as he locked gazes with him. He knew he'd do anything to heal the hurts that Matt had felt. And he also knew he was just as broken as Matt, but he didn't feel that way in his arms. "I don't care if you are damaged, because I am too," he admitted. "I just want to be with you, and maybe we can take each other's pain away." "You already are. I've never had anyone comfort me after a nightmare," Matt confessed. "And I haven't slept that good in I don't know how long." 62


Trynt smiled, pleased he'd comforted and helped Matt rest. "Same here." Matt kissed Trynt, and they pulled apart only when they heard the timer from the kitchen. "Dinner's ready, gorgeous." Trynt blushed and followed Matt to the small table. Matt suddenly took Trynt's hand and asked him, "Ben—will he say anything about us?" Trynt shook his head. "No. Not long ago, I caught him selling things on the black market. I threatened to turn him in but didn't because we needed doctors. It's still hanging over his head, and he knows I won't hesitate to turn him over with the proof I kept if he crosses me." Matt grinned in relief. "No one should ever underestimate you," he said with pride. "Ben did, and it's why I caught him. But enough of that. I just want to enjoy dinner with you. Do you need some help?" Trynt offered. Matt gave him a sheepish look. "I wanted to make something special for dessert, but I couldn't tackle the stairs." They both laughed. "I think you'll like it, but it's a bit messy in the kitchen, though I promise to clean it." Trynt chuckled and walked over to the wine rack. "All right, then, how about some wine?" "Perfect." Kimi walked in as Matt served the stew and beans on toast. Matt pulled out a chair for her. "You're just in time, Kimi! Have a seat, I made dinner." Matt went to get another bowl, and Kimi walked over to Trynt. "If you don't tell me you want him, I'm going to marry 63


him right now," she decided with a giggle. "He cooks, saves my life, and is absolutely gorgeous." Trynt laughed, thinking that he did want Matt more than he'd ever wanted anyone. "Sorry, Kimi, you had your chance," he told her with a wink, but he felt almost possessive. "He's mine now." Kimi pretended to pout, then hugged him tightly. "I'm happy for you. Both of you." She kissed his cheek. Matt walked back in. "Talking about me?" he joked, but Trynt knew he was curious to know what they were discussing. Trynt helped Matt serve the food. "Kimi is going to run away with you and leave me here all alone," he said in mock sadness. Matt pulled him into an embrace and kissed him soundly. "Like I'd go anywhere without you," he scoffed, then grinned at Kimi. "We're a package deal, Kimi." "Don't I know it." Kimi giggled, clearly amused. "Let's eat before this wonderful meal goes cold." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eight Two Months Later The months passed quickly for the two men as their relationship grew. They spent all the time they could together, getting to know each other and enjoying the time when they were alone and could be themselves. They had yet to be intimate, because Matt was healing from his injury and grieving for Eric, and Trynt didn't want to push him. The two of them decided to just let the sex happen when the time was right and they were both ready. Trynt and Matt grew closer, and both came to rely on each other for comfort and support through the long days of the war. Trynt was busy with work, and Matt, when he was well enough, was back at the base in Uxbridge, helping with the logistics, defensive plans, and operations in Germany to take back the Continent. It had been difficult at first for Matt to go to the base and not see Eric. But with Trynt's comfort and quiet support, he made it through, grieving the loss of his lover while being grateful for the chance at a new love that was more than Matt had ever dreamed of. Matt had been declared healthy and physically fit a week ago, but both had been too exhausted to do anything but fall into bed and sleep intertwined in each other's arms. Today Trynt had a day off, and Matt promised to leave the base early so they could have a special evening. Matt hoped it would be the night he and Trynt made love for the first time; he was more than ready to take that next step and be 65


connected completely to Trynt. Kimi was visiting Wynne, and it was supposed to be the perfect night...up until the commander gave Matt orders that he was being shipped out the next day. Matt climbed the stairs to their flat, upset and angry. Two months was all he'd been given. Two months of happiness with Trynt and finally knowing that he had somewhere he truly belonged: with the man he loved and their close friend. This was his home now, even if he hadn't said it. He didn't want to leave, didn't want to take the risk. Why now? he thought bitterly. A few months ago, he'd had a death wish and would have rushed right into the fight without a second thought. But now, he didn't want to hurt Trynt; he didn't want to lose what they had. He opened the door and stepped inside. He hung up his coat as Trynt came into the hall, the smile leaving his face as he saw Matt's pained expression. "What is it?" Matt handed the scrunched up paper in his hands to him, and Trynt quickly skimmed over it. "Tomorrow? Can they do that so suddenly?" he asked in disbelief. "Apparently," Matt said with a resigned sigh. "I'm the group captain, and I have to lead the squadron." "Of course," Trynt said with a nod, his voice numb. "Can you tell me where you're going?" "I honestly don't know. I have to get to Uxbridge and be in my plane before I receive the destination." Matt ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I hate this, Trynt. This 66


damned war has dragged on for years, and I'm done. I don't want to go... I don't want to leave you. What if I—" Trynt grabbed Matt to stop him and then cupped his face in his hands. "Don't you dare utter those words! You may have to go, but you are coming back to me," he said with conviction, then he swallowed hard and Matt could see he was overcome with emotion. "Promise me, Matt. I need you to do that...I need you. Please..." Matt reached up and unclasped the pendant around his neck that he always wore; it was his father's. He slid his hands around Trynt's neck and refastened it. "I will come home to you. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will stop me from getting back, because I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he confessed, gazing at the younger man lovingly. He knew Trynt felt the same, and a happiness filled him, pushing away the thoughts of what might happen in the days to come. Trynt captured Matt's lips in a loving kiss. It had been the first time either of them had said those words aloud when they were both awake. "I love you, Matt, so much. And that's what I want too." "Then we'll have it," Matt promised. He wrapped his arms around Trynt and held him close. "Because you give me hope that, in this fucking war there will be an end where we can finally live our lives in peace. "My life changed the day I met you. I thought I had loved before; I thought I knew what I wanted. And then you kissed me, and I knew no one ever had or ever will compare to you and what I feel for you. No one knows me better, and no one 67


has ever cared or taken care of me like you have," he said, voice filled with affection as he told Trynt everything. "I don't know how I got this far without you, because now I can't imagine you not being there when I need you. When I'm with you, nothing else matters, and all the hurt I've been through fades... What I'm trying to say is, you're everything to me, Trynt." There were tears in Trynt's eyes as he gave Matt a tender kiss. "Cariad, you are everything to me as well. I found myself drawn to you the moment we met. I couldn't explain it, and I didn't want to. I just knew I had to get to know you. I was numb, Matt...dead on the inside. Every day there at the hospital chipped away at me with the losses and death everywhere. Then you showed up, and when we kissed, I felt alive again, I felt hopeful, and I knew nothing would ever be the same. I knew I'd do anything to give us a shot at being together, because I've never felt this way. I've never loved anyone like this, I would do anything for you, and I want to always be here for you." A warm smile lit up his face. "You're the best thing to ever happen to me, and I don't want you to go... If I were to lose you, I'd..." He broke off, fighting back tears. Matt rested his forehead against Trynt's. "I made a promise, didn't I? I will come back, love. I swear it," he said with conviction, then kissed Trynt. "Just keep loving me and giving me a reason to, and I'll be home before you know it." "I will always love you, Matt," Trynt swore. "Nothing will ever change that." 68


Matt kissed Trynt passionately until they broke apart, both of them breathless. "I want to make love to you, Trynt," he said, his need evident. "Yes!" Trynt reached up and slid Matt's braces from his shoulders. "I need you, Matt." "You have me. I'm yours, Trynt." Matt lifted Trynt's cotton shirt up and over his head before tossing it aside. His hands began roaming over the pale, exposed skin as Trynt hurried to unbutton his royal blue shirt. "And I'm yours.". Matt kissed along Trynt's jaw. "No worrying about tomorrow. This is not going to be the first and last time we make love," he stated, making a promise to Trynt and sealing it with a kiss. "When I get back, we'll spend a week in bed." "Promises, promises," Trynt retorted; then he locked gazes with Matt. "No thoughts about tomorrow. Right here, right now is all that matters," he agreed with a small smile. "Yes, just you and me." Matt kissed him slowly as he steered Trynt toward their bedroom. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nine They removed the rest of their clothes, kissing and touching as they dumped the items on the floor. When they were both naked, Matt gave Trynt a light push back onto the bed and straddled his hips. He leant over Trynt, and they resumed kissing. They began exploring all the places on each other's bodies, learning each other in the most intimate way possible. Their hands roamed over each other, stroking, caressing, and teasing every inch of skin. Throats and nipples were nipped and sucked, kisses were trailed along strong chests and taut stomachs, and tongues caressed sensitive spots. Eventually, both of them were panting. Matt gazed down at Trynt with a smile, admiring the beautiful Welshman spread out beneath him. This was a sight he knew he'd never get enough of. Trynt gazed back at him, looking nervous. "Matt... I..." "What is it?" Matt asked in concern. "I've been with a man, like I told you," Trynt said, and his cheeks turned red, "but I never..." "You've never had anyone inside of you," Matt supplied, and Trynt nodded quickly. Matt didn't care how they made love, and he wanted Trynt any way he could have him. "Well, I'm a flexible guy; if you want—" "No!" Trynt interrupted, then turned a deeper shade of red. "I want you to take me; I just wanted you to know." 70


"I do, because I would never want to hurt you," Matt said with a tenderness that made Trynt break into a warm smile. "You wouldn't." Trynt cupped Matt's face, trust implicit in gaze. "I want you. I want you deep inside me, making love to me, please." Matt smiled and kissed Trynt softly as he saw the love and trust reflected in Trynt's eyes. "Always. Has anyone ever worshipped your body, Trynt?" he asked, though he was sure he knew the answer. "I usually want the other person to feel good," Trynt admitted. "I focus on them, so no." Matt kissed Trynt's eyelids. "Thought so. You're selfless like that, love. But now, I'm going to kiss and touch your body, and I just want you to enjoy it, okay?" He broke into a smile. "I know I will." Trynt moaned loudly, then pulled Matt in for a hungry kiss, letting Matt know how much he wanted that. "Yes." Matt's grin grew. "Good, because I'm going to love every minute of this. You're so beautiful, Trynt," he said admiringly. Trynt shook his head in disagreement. "You're daft," he said lightly. Matt gazed at him; he couldn't wait to show Trynt what true pleasure was all about. He was going to take his time and show Trynt just how beautiful and amazing he was. "No one's ever told you that, have they? No one's ever taken the time to show you just how special you are... Well, lucky me, then." He peppered Trynt's face with kisses. "You're beautiful, and I'm never going to stop saying that." 71


Trynt was quiet for a long moment, just gazing at Matt. Matt looked back at him, letting Trynt see the sincerity in his eyes. He'd never felt so loved, and intended to cherish this night with Trynt. Trynt broke into a smile, seeming to see just what he was looking for, and kissed Matt again, pouring everything he felt into the kiss, and Matt understood what he couldn't find the words to say. "So are you, Cariad," Trynt finally managed to say. "What does that mean?" Matt asked, wondering, as Trynt had called him that a few times before. "My beloved," Trynt said, affectionately caressing Matt's cheek. It was Matt at a loss for words this time, so he began to show Trynt just how much he meant to him. He pressed gentle kisses to Trynt's forehead, then both of his eyelids, over his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and his jawline. He paused to kiss the spot behind and below each ear before ravaging his partner's neck, leaving a trail of love bites. "Feels so good." Trynt moaned in pleasure. "It gets better," Matt promised with a final nip to Trynt's neck. Trynt threaded his fingers through Matt's hair as his partner continued to taste every inch of his body. Matt licked along each collarbone, then trailed kisses over Trynt's chest, stopping to lave each nipple and capture it with his teeth. Trynt hissed as Matt worked each nipple into a hardened peak. Abandoning Trynt's nipples, Matt trailed his mouth farther south on Trynt's body, enjoying how Trynt responded to his 72


touch. His skin was flushed; he was breathing heavily and trying to keep still. He rested his hands on Trynt's stomach and peppered his skin with kisses. He licked Trynt's navel, and Trynt arched up. "More, Matt, please!" Trynt pleaded. Leaving a love bite on Trynt's hip, he kissed his unblemished thigh, then moved to do the same with the other, taking in the broken skin and thick scar that ran from Trynt's hip to his knee. He caressed the skin gently, wishing Trynt had never been hurt that way. "Oh, Trynt..." Trynt gazed down and grimaced at the scar. "I know... It's ugly—" "Ugly?" Matt stared at him in disbelief. "No, it's not. There is not an inch of you that isn't beautiful." "But look at it!" Trynt gestured in annoyance. "I am." Matt pressed a kiss to the raised scar. He pushed himself up a little so he was sitting between Trynt's spread legs. "You see my scars. Are they ugly?" "No! You're gorgeous, Matt," Trynt said quietly as he reverently ran his fingers over the thin scar on Matt's taut stomach. "They're just a part of you. They show me how brave and selfless you've been these past four years." Matt slowly ran his fingers up the scar, and Trynt's breath hitched as they locked gazes. Matt knew that Trynt was selfconscious about that part of his body, but he intended to soothe that doubt away with affectionate caresses that would let Trynt see he loved all of him. 73


"Why would I think any different of yours? Do you know what I see and think when I look at it?" Matt asked. Trynt shook his head. "No, what?" he asked, and Matt could hear his uncertainty. "The strength and courage you have to get through this war. The sacrifice you made selflessly and"—Matt pressed kisses to the scar—"the appreciation that you made it through and ended up here with me. Whenever I see it, I will always think of how lucky I am to have you in my life." Trynt swallowed the lump in his throat. "Dwi'n dy garu di." Matt smiled softly. "I love you too." Trynt smiled back. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess. Now where was I?" He winked, then knelt between Trynt's splayed legs. He pressed kisses to Trynt's inner thighs, his hips, his balls, and entrance. He drew one of Trynt's balls into his mouth, then the other. Trynt's arousal had returned full force, and Matt just knew the younger man was already aching for release. Trynt's skin was flushed and sweaty, he was panting, and his cock was leaking. "More please, Matt! Not going to last." Matt hungrily planted a trail of kisses down Trynt's cock, then licked from the root to the tip before taking the head in his mouth and licking the slit, tasting Trynt's essence. "I want to taste you," Matt breathed against the heated flesh and grinned as Trynt shuddered with desire. He wanted to swallow every drop and learn the taste and feel of Trynt in his mouth. "Duw, please suck me," Trynt begged, need making his accent thick. 74


"My pleasure." Matt reached over to grab the oil from the nightstand. "I'm going to prepare you while I suck you. I promise it's going to feel good." "I trust you, and you are making me feel so good." Trynt reached down and caressed Matt's face. "Mission accomplished, then," Matt said with a wink. "Now, gorgeous, just enjoy this." Matt was pleased to hear Trynt gasp as his mouth encircled the head of his partner's cock. Matt rubbed the underside of the head with his tongue, and Trynt cried out in pleasure, his fingers tangling in Matt's hair. Matt swallowed Trynt whole, deep-throating his partner easily as he felt his own cock harden in response. He began slowly sliding up and down Trynt's shaft, taking him deep and then sucking hard until he reached the very tip, over and over until Trynt was bucking into his mouth. Matt had quickly learned the tricks and knew what Trynt liked. Using his lips, tongue, and light grazing of teeth, Matt drove Trynt to the edge. Cupping Trynt's balls with one hand, he stroked them before opening the oil and coating his fingers with it. He teased Trynt's entrance for long moments, feeling the muscle quiver and causing the younger man to whimper. He looked up at Trynt for permission to continue. "Yes, Matt!" Trynt encouraged as a moan escaped his lips. Matt slipped one finger slowly into Trynt, watching Trynt's face contort with pleasure. He was so lost in what Matt was doing that he was completely relaxed. Trynt began thrusting up into Matt's mouth while trying to impale himself on his finger. 75


"More," Trynt begged, writhing against the cotton blue sheets. He held his partner down, his hand firmly pressed on Trynt's hip, and when he was certain Trynt was ready, he added a second finger into his tight entrance. He slid his fingers over Trynt's prostate as he stretched him. "So close, oh God...so close!" He again repeated the move, loving that he was the one to show Trynt the amazing and new sensation that would give him so much pleasure. Trynt threw his head back, crying out, "So good Matt, so good!" Grinning around Trynt, Matt was pleased he'd reduced Trynt to a wanton and babbling mess. Trynt looked so beautiful like this, uninhibited and lost in the pleasure he was giving him, which was Matt's sole purpose. His lover looked down at him, and they locked gazes as Matt hummed, increasing the pace of his sucking and relaxing his throat so that Trynt could thrust up farther. Staring into those beautiful blue eyes, Matt knew that Trynt was close to the edge. "I'm going to come." Trynt gasped, and Matt felt Trynt's balls tighten and his cock swell in his mouth. He kept sucking, as that was just what he wanted. He wanted to taste Trynt and swallow him dry. Trynt thrust up harder as he lost control, telling Matt how good it felt and crying out his name in a litany. Matt slid another finger into Trynt, then brushed all three over his prostate, and Trynt completely lost it. 76


"Matt!" Suddenly, Trynt was pulsing into Matt's mouth, screaming his partner's name and panting his release. Matt sucked him completely dry, and Trynt moaned at the sensation of Matt swallowing his release. Matt released Trynt's softening cock and lapped up every bit of his essence before crawling up Trynt's body and drawing him into his arms, waiting for him to come back down as he caressed and pressed kisses to his face. When Trynt came back to himself, he pulled his partner in for a deep kiss, and Matt let him taste himself on his tongue. "Duw...that was...amazing, Cariad," Trynt whispered, feeling both sated and content. "You're amazing, Trynt." Matt kissed him, then moved so he was lying on top of Trynt. He undulated against the younger man, keening softly as he felt Trynt hardening beneath him again. "I need you so much." "I need you too." Trynt cupped Matt's face. "Fill me, Matt. I want to feel you." He reached for the oil and then slicked Matt's cock. He stroked from base to tip, pausing to rub his thumb over the head and around to the underside. Matt shuddered and gripped Trynt's wrist. "Too close, Trynt," he admitted, taking a deep breath. "The things you do to me already." "Show me," Trynt urged and leant up for a brief kiss. Matt moved Trynt's legs apart, and Trynt spread himself farther, pulling his legs up to give his partner easier access to his body as Matt slid a pillow under his hips. Certain that Trynt was now ready, Matt positioned the head of his cock at the younger man's opening and pushed inward slowly, inch by 77


inch, keeping his eyes locked on Trynt in case of any discomfort. But Trynt was relaxed, fully prepared, and just seemed to draw him in. "Okay?" Matt asked in concern. The look Trynt gave him was reassuring. "Bit of a discomfort at first, but it doesn't hurt. Never felt so full and I had no idea I could feel this good." He admitted, eyes dark with desire. "Don't stop, please." "I won't, just slow and easy," Matt soothed. He didn't want this to be anything but pleasurable for Trynt and intended to be careful. He took in how amazing it felt as he slowly filled Trynt. The look in Trynt's eyes and the way his hand sought Matt's to intertwine their fingers told Matt he was feeling the same. "God, you're tight," Matt whispered, loving the way Trynt's body surrounded his cock as he worked his way inside him. When he was all the way in, he went completely still to give their bodies time to adjust. He too had never felt so good and had to breathe deeply to avoid coming then and there. He was inside Trynt, and it felt like the world had just stopped. They were finally connected as one, hearts beating wildly as Trynt pulled him in for a kiss and their bodies moulded perfectly together. "You feel so good," Trynt breathed against Matt's lips. "I'm never going to get enough of this. Love you being inside of me." "Love being inside of you. So hot, tight, and so good," Matt said, tone intimate and warm as he gazed at Trynt. "I've never felt so complete." 78


"Neither have I." Trynt wrapped his arms around Matt's neck. "You're filling me completely... I love you so much." "I love you, Trynt." Matt kissed Trynt, tongue slipping inside his partner's mouth. He held him close, wanting to give Trynt as much time as he needed to fully adjust. He was in no rush, and he wanted to savour the moment. Long minutes passed, and they lost themselves in kissing and caressing, both of them content. Trynt ran his hands along Matt's torso and back, seeming to want to commit his body to touch, taste, and sight. Matt came apart at the heated and tender touches, but he kept himself from moving, waiting until Trynt let him know. After a few minutes, Trynt cupped Matt's face and smiled. "Move for me." Matt pulled back gently, then thrust in slowly again as Trynt wrapped his legs loosely around his waist. He ran his fingers through Trynt's sweaty hair. "Okay?" Trynt gave him a soft kiss. "Yes, more, please." "Slow and easy, love." Matt kept his motions gentle and shallow, wanting the pleasure to last for both of them. "Just feel me." "Duw, Matt..." Trynt gasped. "You feel so good." Matt kissed Trynt again, slipping his arms under Trynt's shoulders and gripping them so he could thrust deeper while keeping the same pace. "Love being with you, kissing you, making love to you...all of it." Trynt ran his fingers through the hairs on the nape of Matt's neck. "So do I. You're everything to me, my whole world," he confessed with a smile. 79


"And you're mine." Matt peppered Trynt's face with kisses as he continued to move in a langerous rhythm. "I want to stay inside you for as long as I can." Trynt ran his hands down Matt's back. "I'd have you stay with me forever like this if we could, Matt. And this is all I want for the rest of our lives, just to be with you." Matt smiled contentedly. "Forever," he promised. He kissed Trynt to seal it, and Trynt held on to him even tighter, both lost in how good it felt. Matt kept the pace slow. He pressed lightly against his partner so that they were touching everywhere. It was tender and sweet, and Matt made sure that Trynt felt cherished under his ministrations. He didn't want it to end. They moved against each other in a steady pace. Several times, one or the other had to pause and breathe deeply to keep from coming too soon. They would lay still and whisper soothing words until the urgency passed. Eventually, a thin sheen of sweat covered both of them, and they were breathing hard. Trynt tightened his legs around Matt, urging him to go deeper. "Harder please," Trynt pleaded, clenching around Matt and drawing him in deeper. "I want to really feel you." "Yes!" Matt placed his hands under Trynt's thighs and moved his partner's legs to his own shoulders, deepening the penetration. "This okay? I'm not hurting you?" He ran a soothing hand across Trynt's thigh, wanting to be sure the position wouldn't cause discomfort. This was all about pleasure. 80


"You never could." Trynt gazed at him. Matt saw the truth, love and commitment in them as he lost himself in how it felt to be surrounded by his partner as he thrust into him. Matt grasped Trynt's hands and intertwined their fingers. Using the combined strength of their arms for leverage, Matt pounded into the younger man, grunting with effort as he hit Trynt's prostate with every stroke. Matt loved the feel of his cock sliding in and out of Trynt's receptive body. The sounds of amazing sex, of flesh hitting flesh, mixed with the gasps, moans, and heavy breathing that filled the room. His lover writhed and clenched around him, holding on to him like he was the only thing in the world. "Right there... Yes, right there!" Trynt cried out in pleasure. He thrust down, meeting and matching Matt's thrusts as he rocked his body faster, letting himself go as well. Matt sensed Trynt's need and met his pace. He felt his own orgasm building, his balls tightening as the urge to empty himself into Trynt became almost overpowering. But he wanted Trynt to come first; he needed him to. Taking their intertwined hands, Matt grasped his partner's hard cock in their fists and began pumping it rapidly. "Come for me, love," he urged. "Come for me now." Trynt needed no further urging. Matt pumped him furiously. He worked his hips in a rapid rhythm and he cried out, clenching around Matt and emptying himself in long spurts, covering both their fists and his stomach in his essence. "Matt! God, Matt!" He threw his head back in pure 81


bliss as Matt kept caressing his cock and milked all of his release from him. He continued thrusting hard into Trynt, prolonging his orgasm and making it more intense while he lost himself in how good Trynt felt. Trynt reached up with one hand grasping the headboard as Matt pounded mercilessly into him. Matt lost control, thrusting into him with all his might, working toward his release and gasping for breath. "Oh. Yes, so good..." Trynt's hand squeezed Matt's as his body writhed beneath Matt's, and he cried out a litany of his partner's name. "So good, Trynt. Gonna come," Matt cried, the sight and the feel of Trynt in the throes of passion pushing him over the edge. "Come for me, Cariad," Trynt urged, locking gazes with him. He clenched around Matt, making him cry out as he began to come. "God! Trynt, coming hard!" Matt erupted into Trynt's willing body, filling him in long, hard pulses that seemed to go on forever. Trynt dropped his legs but kept them around Matt. Matt was completely spent, and collapsed onto Trynt's chest. His softening cock was still sheathed in Trynt's trembling body. Trynt wrapped his arms around his partner, pressing a kiss to Matt's sweaty hair. For long moments, they lay together, covered in sweat and other fluids with their chests heaving and hearts pounding. "God, that was incredible," Matt breathed in awe. "You're amazing, Trynt." 82


"So are you." Trynt carded his fingers through Matt's hair. "Forget a week. We're going to need two when you get back." "Sounds perfect to me." Matt laughed and held on to Trynt tighter. Matt slowly withdrew, and Trynt whimpered at the loss. Matt moved over to his side of the bed and drew Trynt into his arms as Trynt grabbed the duvet and drew it around them. Both knew they needed to clean up, but holding each other was more important. Trynt snuggled into the embrace as Matt kissed him. "Let's take a nap; then we can have dinner," Matt suggested. "And you'll make love to me the rest of the night?" Trynt asked with a smile. Matt smiled back, knowing they were going to make the most out of the night and very little of it would involve sleeping. "Yes, just you and me." "Always." Trynt closed his eyes, and Matt smiled as his partner drifted off to sleep. He had known sex would be different with Trynt, but the deep connection and bonding had been more than he could've dreamed of. What he had with Eric had been physical, he realised that now. With Trynt it had been mind, body, heart, and soul. He'd given it all to his partner, and Trynt had done the same. There was no doubt he was meant to be with Trynt, and nothing was going to stop him from coming home to him. Holding Trynt close, he fell asleep. [Back to Table of Contents] 83


Chapter Ten The next morning, Matt was nearly finished getting ready when Trynt brought him a cup of coffee, again spurgling for his lover as he knew it'd be awhile before Matt had any comforts of home. Matt took it with a smile, and Trynt took Matt's other hand and helped him with his cufflink. They'd had a wonderful morning; Trynt had woken Matt early, and they had made love, then shared a shower and breakfast. "How am I going to survive without your coffee? I'm going to be half asleep and grouchy in the morning," Matt complained with a pout. Trynt chuckled. "I don't think I want to see you without your pick-me-up." "It's not pretty," Matt agreed and then took another sip. "And I still say we could end this war with this nectar of yours." Trynt ran his fingers over Matt's wrist, not letting go of his hand. "Well, then, you can share the thermos I packed in your bag." Matt looked like a kid at Christmas, and he kissed Trynt in thanks. "Oh, I love you. And there will be no sharing involved." They both laughed. "I have something else for you too," Trynt said, fighting nerves about Matt leaving. Matt looked at him curiously. "Oh? Besides the coffee? You're spoiling me." 84


"Perhaps, but it's something I've been wanting to give you." Trynt pulled out a pocket watch and placed it in Matt's hand, covering it with his own. "It's my tad's. I want you to keep it..." He locked gazes with Matt. It would count the time apart until they could be together again, and he knew Matt would keep it close. "And I want you to bring it back to me in one piece." Matt ran his thumb reverently over the timepiece. "Thank you, love. I'll keep it safe." "You'd better," Trynt stated, letting Matt know he wasn't talking about the watch. Matt kissed him in reassurance. "I suppose a bad joke about me supposedly being the man who is indestructible and can't die wouldn't go well?" Trynt shook his head, not finding it the least bit funny. "You'd be right. And if you don't want to sleep on the sofa your first night home, you'll say something else," he warned. "It'll probably be a good thing that I'll be so busy I won't have time to think, because I'm really going to miss you." "I'm going to miss you too," Trynt said. Barely able to speak, he hugged Matt tightly. Matt tucked the pocket watch in his breast pocket and drank the last of his coffee; then Trynt helped him slip on his greatcoat. "The car to take me to the base should be here any minute." Trynt nodded as they heard a car honking. "There it is." He adjusted Matt's collar. "Take care of yourself, Matt." Matt put on his cap, then gloves. "You know I prefer it when you do, but I will." He gave Trynt a concerned look. 85


"And take care as well. I don't want to come home to find you overly exhausted from working too much." "I'll be sure to rest," Trynt promised, trying to keep the waver out of his voice. The mood felt solemn and the air heavy. Trynt was worried, and he knew Matt wished there was more he could do to alleviate it, but there wasn't. He hated this, and he didn't want Matt to go, but it was his duty. Suddenly, Matt cupped Trynt's face in his hands and kissed him senseless. Trynt returned it, pouring every emotion he felt for Matt into the kiss. He melted into Matt's arms and held him until there was a knock on the door, and they broke apart reluctantly. "Love you," Matt said, kissing Trynt once more. A small smile curved Trynt's lips. "Love you too." "I'll be back before you know it," Matt assured him, caressing his partner's cheek. "I hope so," Trynt said, trying to keep Matt from hearing his worry, and failing. "None of that, love," Matt chided, pressing a kiss to Trynt's temple. "I promised, and I have a reason to come home now, so I will." "And I'll be right here waiting for you." He'd wait however long it took. "That's all I need, then." Matt picked up the duffel bag and headed to the door. As Matt moved toward the door, Trynt pulled him back in for one more deep kiss. "I'll see you soon, Cariad," he said against Matt's lips. 86


"Count on it. I'm not going to say good-bye, Trynt, because I'm not going anywhere," Matt promised. "Trust me?" "With my life," Trynt answered. "You're going to come home." "Yes, I am." The knocking became insistent, and Matt pulled the door open to reveal a young cadet. "Your car is waiting, sir." "Thank you." Matt handed him the duffel bag, and the young boy ran off. He gave Trynt a small salute and then a hug before walking out. Trynt sighed, his heart feeling heavy. He grabbed his coat and put it on. He knew he was going to worry himself sick while Matt was away. But he wasn't going to wallow, get upset, or think negatively. Matt was going to come home, and that was that. He checked his watch, deciding to go in early to work; it would be his much-needed distraction until Matt returned. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eleven Three weeks later, everyone was talking about "D-Day," as the news was calling it. Allied forces with air cover and support were landing on the beaches of Normandy. The battle to take back the continent of Europe had begun. It was an important and hopeful day, but Trynt was just worried. Kimi had kept him up to date, keeping an eye out for causality reports of Squadron 12; there had been none as of yet. But that didn't mean anything. Matt could be injured or Missing In Action, and Trynt wouldn't know. He and Matt couldn't even list each other as next of kin for fear of exposure. He looked at the chart in his hand, trying his best to focus. Matt knew what he was doing; he was an expert and an experienced fighter pilot who had been on even riskier missions and recons. He had been just fine then, and there was no reason to think he couldn't be now. Logically that worked, but his heart wouldn't buy it. He just wanted some way to know that Matt was all right. Lucy Lloyd-Garrison stepped into his office. She was wearing her lab coat over a forest green blouse that accented her olive complexion, and a long black skirt with sensible heels. Her auburn hair was thrown back in a ponytail and her hazel green eyes were bright. She was petite and slim, but she commanded attention when she entered the room. Confident but not overly so, she was also kind-hearted and the doctor that he respected most in the hospital. "I was just coming to discuss William's case with you." 88


Trynt closed the chart, grateful for the distraction. "Right, have a seat." Lucy sat in the chair nearest to him and then gazed at him in concern. "You okay?" "Not really," Trynt replied truthfully. And then he realized he wasn't sure how much Lucy knew about him and Matt, and he really shouldn't be talking about this with her. Though he just knew she wouldn't be the type of person who was homophobic and judgmental. Not to mention he knew she appreciated all he'd done in fighting to give her equal rights as a doctor in the hospital. "It's a lot of things." "Matt, you mean," Lucy said in understanding, brushing her hair behind her ear. Trynt regarded her for a moment, then nodded. "Yes. I trust you won't say anything, Lucy." She locked gazes with Trynt. "I'm going to say three things." She held up three fingers and ticked them off as she continued. "First, who you love is no one's business but your own. I learned that years ago from a dear friend who helped me understand that love comes in many forms. Second, I wouldn't be working here as a doctor without you—you're a good man, and I owe you for that. And third, you're my friend, or at least I consider you one, and if you need to talk, I'm here." Trynt stood, walked around the desk and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, and we are friends, so the same goes for you." "Thanks." Lucy smiled in appreciation. "So now you can tell me all about you and Matt," she encouraged, leaning forward. 89


"If you want to, that is," she added quickly. "It's just I can relate with Drew being gone." Trynt knew Drew Garrison was her husband and a trained field medic. They had married a few months before he was shipped out to assist the troops. A slight heat rose to his cheeks. "Matt and I are together," he confessed, happiness filling his tone. "And even though we haven't been together long, he means so much to me... I can't stop thinking about him. I lay awake at night wondering if he's all right. I'm worried and can't stop a hundred different situations playing through my mind of what could happen," he admitted, running a hand through his hair. "God, it's only been a few days. Still, after hearing that on the news, I know the severity of the situation, which means it will be a while before he comes back. I just want this to all be over." "I know how you feel. Drew is out there with the troops, right in the thick of things providing medical field aid, and I'm worried sick." Tears filled Lucy's eyes. Trynt reached over and squeezed her arm. "He'll be okay." "And so will Matt. He's very capable; I've seen it firsthand," Lucy recalled, then looked at Trynt. "You just have to have faith in him." "I do. But that doesn't stop me from worrying. Anything can happen... I've seen it all here." He waved his hand about. "I know." Lucy put her hand over Trynt's. "How about we worry together, then?" "All right." Trynt gave her a grateful smile. "How about you join Kimi and me for dinner?" "I'd like that." Lucy's smile didn't reach her eyes. "My flat is so empty without Drew." 90


Trynt nodded in understanding. "Matt fills a room when he enters. The flat is so quiet without him... I got so used to going home after work and having him there that now I don't want to go home." "Precisely how I feel." Lucy sighed as she twisted the ring on her finger. "When Aston was causing trouble, Ben was being a prat, or we'd lost more patients than I care to think about, Drew would make it better just being there." "Matt did that too. I don't know how you deal with it, Lucy," he admitted, knowing that Drew had gone out to the field numerous times during the war. He wasn't sure how he could cope with Matt doing the same. "This is the first time we've been apart, and its killing me. I don't know how I can keep letting him go." Reaching over, Lucy squeezed his hand. "It's Drew's duty, and he's saving lives. I can't stand in the way of that despite wanting to be selfish and keep him with me." "You're right," he acknowledged, knowing that was the right way to look at it. "But it never gets easier, and I just have to keep hoping he'll come home," Lucy said quietly. Trynt nodded. "I—" Ben pushed the door open. "Could you girls quit gabbing and get out here?" he snapped in irritation. "We've got traumas coming in." "Too much to handle, Ben?" Trynt retorted with an eye roll. "No, I just want to show you how it's done." Ben shot him a dark glare. 91


"As if," Trynt muttered as Ben left. "C'mon, let's go help." Lucy looped her arm through Trynt's. "He might actually learn something," she said with a wink, and he laughed. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twelve Three weeks had gone by for Matt in a flurry of action, sleep, and fighting. He'd led his men into enemy territory numerous times. He had been through hell and back, sleeping in stints in the cockpit, eating hardly anything but meagre rations, and leading his squadron in patrolling the skies, covering the troops, and taking out any threat until his Spitfire was hit. They had been successful each time in taking out important targets until just a few days ago. An inexperienced pilot, James Cook, had flown onto enemy radar and alerted the Germans of the imminent attack. Cook had been in direct fire of the Messerschmitts, and Matt had dived in his plane to intercept the attack. Without Eric, his wingman, who had always known his strategies and moves in the skies, he'd had no one to protect him during his daring stunt. His plane took the hits and he was forced to make an emergency landing on the beach. Luckily, he was rescued by his flight lieutenant, Richard Morris. His arm had broken when he hit the ground, and he was immediately sent back on the boat to England to heal. He was in no state to fly his plane, and it would take months for the severe break to heal properly. He insisted on being cared for here at the London Hospital, needing to be with Trynt. Matt had been disappointed that he wasn't going to be around to continue the fight and keep his men safe. But there were other ways to do that. He'd be serving, leading, and commanding at Uxbridge until he was fit again. Secretly, he 93


was pleased he was going back home. He'd missed Trynt more than words could ever say; the Welshman had always been on his mind, and he couldn't wait to see him again. Slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder, he paid the driver, then strolled toward the entry of the hospital. His excuse was going to be that he needed his arm to be properly tended to, but really he was there to see Trynt. He didn't want to wait to be reunited with his partner. And if he knew Trynt, which he liked to think he did, the younger man was probably beside himself with worry. He knew if he was in Trynt's position, it would've driven him mad not knowing if he was all right. He hated that there was no way for them to keep in touch without fear of exposure. He quickened his step, anxious to see Trynt. The whole trip home he had wanted the comfort of his partner; he needed Trynt's love and support after such a hellish ordeal. All he wanted was for Trynt to wrap him in his arms and chase away the nightmares of the past few days. **** Trynt was beside himself with worry with every day that passed without Matt. He hadn't eaten much, and he had barely slept. The bed smelt of Matt, and without the feel of Matt beside him, he found he couldn't sleep, and when he managed, he had terrible nightmares. He knew he was driving Kimi crazy asking for updates and constantly checking the reports for news on Matt's squadron. But she was worried too, and he knew she didn't mind. 94


He just wanted some way of knowing Matt was all right. He was tempted to write him as his doctor and inquire about his side just to get a reply back, but he didn't want to raise suspicions. Even though no one at Matt's base knew they were living together, he still had to be careful. If they were exposed, Matt could be discharged for being "mentally unfit," or worse, he could be faced with a prison term. It was utterly ridiculous, and Trynt hated that with all Matt had done, he could be discriminated against in such a horrid manner simply because they were both men. Shaking aside the thought that made him want to punch the wall, Trynt stood up from his desk and headed to the break room. Wynne met Trynt in the hall after his quick stop to get a coffee; her arms were loaded with supplies. "A few men who were tended to in the field are coming in for checkups. They're being split between us and another hospital, but Aston is trying to take as many as we can to show we can handle it," Wynne explained in irritation. "Good grief," Trynt muttered with an eye roll. "I'll get everything ready." Wynne nodded and headed off. Trynt turned around and set off toward the exam rooms. "Excuse me, Doctor Andrews? I was told you would be the one to see to have my arm checked out," a familiar voice said, and Trynt spun around to see Matt standing there with a smile. His arm was in a plaster cast, but otherwise he looked fine. "Matt!" Trynt broke into a grin and then rushed over, stopping himself when he realised they were in the middle of 95


a busy hallway. He cursed mentally, hating that he couldn't embrace Matt like he wanted to. "It's good to see you, Captain. Of course I can do that," he said, slipping into his role as a doctor to remain professional. "If you'll follow me to the examination room?" Matt clearly understood, and he let Trynt quickly lead him to a private room. Matt's lips were on his as soon as the door shut behind them, their kisses desperate. Tongues and teeth clashed as they grabbed on to each other in a heated reunion, pouring their longing and love into the kiss. It seemed like they had been apart far longer than they had, and they couldn't break for air even when they needed to. Trynt's relief was palpable. He ran his hands all over Matt, reassuring himself that he was there and whole. He drank in Matt's moans and sighs as they touched, craving the contact after missing and worrying day after day that he would never see him again. "I missed you so much," Matt whispered between passionate kisses. He pressed Trynt into the wall, his uninjured hand cradling his partner's head as he sought to devour his mouth. "I missed you too." Trynt clutched Matt's shoulder and hip, pulling him as close as they could possibly get. "Every minute." He kissed Matt again, not wanting to lose contact. Kissing Matt, he knew his lover was finally home, for now it was over, and the comfort and love from his partner washed over him, finally giving him peace and allowing him to relax. "Thought about holding you, kissing you, just like this whenever I could," Matt admitted, kissing down Trynt's neck 96


and nuzzling into it as he breathed in his scent. "God, it's good to be home." Trynt lifted Matt's plastered arm, running soothing fingers over it. "Cariad, what happened?" he asked, concerned. "A rookie gave away our location. I took out some Messerschmitts, but he was going to be hit, so I dived in and saved him." Matt closed his eyes against the memory, and Trynt's heart clenched. "I managed to land the plane and get out before the fire, but it wasn't a smooth landing. I broke it pretty badly. It's going to take months to heal." "Oh, Matt..." Trynt lifted Matt's injured hand and pressed kisses to each of his knuckles. "It's not so bad. Just means you get to take care of me." "Always, I'm so glad you're all right." Trynt kissed Matt's hair. "I was worried sick. I hated not knowing where you were or what was going on," he admitted, tone low and strained. "I'm sorry, love. I know how worried you must have been. And I was thinking I can have Kimi set it up so she's listed as my next of kin. That way the next time you'll know more about what's going on," Matt suggested. "Next time?" Trynt said sadly. He knew Matt was trying to alleviate his worries, but it wasn't helping with the thought of Matt leaving again. "You're injured. Surely you can't fly." It was selfish, he knew that, to keep Matt here, but he needed him, and he wasn't sure he could handle Matt leaving again. Matt nodded. "I can't, and I'm on logistics until my arm heals. But they're talking of moving my group if they continue to succeed, and if the war is still going when I'm healed, I'll have to go." 97


"You won't be stationed here?" Trynt felt his heart drop. "But that means we won't be able to see each other until you get leave again..." He trailed off, unable to say how much that devastated him. "I'm sorry, Trynt," Matt said with regret. "You know I don't want it this way. You know I hated being away." He held Trynt's face in his hands and kissed him deeply. Trynt rested his forehead against Matt's, pushing aside his upset, because he didn't want Matt feeling bad over what he couldn't control. And he certainly didn't want Matt thinking he was hurting him. "I know you did, and it's not your fault, but I hated you being away." "Whatever happens will be a long ways off, okay? Let's cross that bridge when we get there," Matt suggested and Trynt knew he was trying to get him to not to worry over what could be. "I'm going to have a long recovery, and hopefully this damn war will be over by then." "Okay." Trynt prayed to God that it would be; he couldn't stand the thought of letting Matt go again. These past few weeks had been torture. He grabbed Matt and buried his face in the older man's neck, breathing in the comforting scent that he had missed so much. "I'm so glad you're home," he said in relief. Matt gazed at Trynt with a tenderness that made his heart skip a beat, and Trynt knew he understood how much being away affected him. Matt did all he could to comfort Trynt, running soothing hands across his back and pressing kisses to his face, which meant everything to Trynt, who melted into 98


his arms. "I promised, didn't I?" Matt paused and reached into his pocket. "And look, it's still working." Trynt broke into a smile at the sight of the watch. "I knew you'd keep your word." "Always," Matt promised with a smile of his own. "Do you want it back?" Trynt shook his head. "You keep it." He gazed at Matt, then chewed on his lip. "If you do have to leave, I want you to have something to remember me by." "Trynt, as if I could ever forget you." Matt placed the watch in his partner's hand and reached up to lovingly trace Trynt's features with his fingers. Trynt let out a contented sigh at the touch. "You have my heart, and I love you," Matt continued. "I will never forget you, not ever. And I will never leave you. I'll always come back." Trynt's eyes filled with tears. "And I love you. I know you won't forget me, but if you do go, we can't write or talk. You know the military reads everything. We can't risk being exposed. I won't have you go to prison for loving me," he stated, refusing to ever let Matt be hurt that way. He put Matt's hand over the watch. "This will be our promise to remember that we're waiting for and missing each other. That you'll come home, and we'll have that life after the war we talked about it." Matt ran his thumb across Trynt's cheek, clearly fighting back a wave of emotion. "We'll find a way around that when the time comes," he assured him; then his eyes lit up and he added, "We can have a secret code in letters, like say 'As Time Goes By,' and you'll know I'm thinking of you." 99


"That's brilliant." Trynt broke into a smile, knowing it was Matt's favourite song. Matt rested his forehead against Trynt's. "I want to spend my life with you as my partner. I'm not going to let anything stop me from doing that," he said with conviction. "No matter where I go or for how long, I will come back. I promise. And we'll have that life afterwards. We'll go somewhere we don't have to hide, where we can just be ourselves and enjoy being together." He smiled at the thought. "There are places we can go where we don't have to worry." "I want that so badly, but I'm scared of losing you," Trynt admitted, gazing at Matt with tear-filled eyes. He wanted that life with Matt with every fibre of his being, and he'd do anything to give it to them. But the worry of losing Matt to war was impossible to ignore, and he knew a life without Matt wouldn't be a life worth living. "I can't be without you." "I'm not going anywhere," Matt assured him, holding Trynt closely in comfort. "I'm here, and the rest is just what ifs. Right now, we're together, and we can go home and just enjoy the night." "Yes." Trynt kissed him lovingly, intending to do just that, starting with taking care of Matt. "Let me check your arm. Does it hurt?" "A little, they gave me a few painkillers." "I'll need to get it properly checked for you." Trynt lifted Matt's arm and examined the cast, checking for swelling or irritation and finding none. "And I'll take care of you tonight. A massage, dinner, and a warm bath." 100


Matt grinned, giving Trynt that look that let him know how much he loved the idea. "Perfect. And what about making love to me?" he asked huskily. "Well that's a given," Trynt replied with a smile of his own. "Let's get your arm x-rayed, then we can go home." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirteen After discovering Matt's radial bone was severely broken, Trynt determined he'd have to wear the cast for seven to eight weeks followed by at least another six weeks to rebuild the strength and regain the dexterity to properly fly his plane. It seemed like a long time, but both knew it wasn't long enough. It would go by far too quickly. And Trynt knew he'd have to sign off when Matt was fully recovered, which meant if the war was still going, Matt would have to be shipped out. Trynt was dreading it already. As soon as they stepped through the door of their flat, Kimi was hugging Matt tightly. "You're home!" she said in relief. "Yes, I am, and it's good to be back," Matt said happily with a grin. "Did you miss me?" "You know I did," Kimi admonished, swatting his good arm, then looked at him in concern. "Are you all right?" "Broken arm, some bruises." Matt shrugged as if it was nothing to keep his friend from worrying. "But I'm going to be fine." "That's good; you're probably tired and hungry. Why don't I cook some soup while you get settled?" Kimi offered. "I was just going to start dinner anyway." "That'd be perfect," Matt agreed, and Kimi kissed his cheek. "And I'll run you a bath, Matt." Trynt helped Matt out of his greatcoat and hung it up. 102


"Are you trying to say I smell?" Matt teased, and Trynt rolled his eyes. Kimi stepped back. "You could do with a washing," she joked, waving her hand in front of her nose. They all laughed, and Matt pouted. "There are no baths on the plane," he pointed out sulkily, but his voice was teasing. "It's not my fault." "You could've had a dip in the Channel on the way back." Kimi's eyes were alight with amusement. "Thought about it, but I can't swim," Matt quipped back, holding up his arm. "And I didn't think about much but getting home." Trynt gave him a fond look and pushed him toward the bath. "C'mon, the sooner you get cleaned up, the sooner we can eat." "Oh good, I'm starving," Matt said. Then, as Kimi walked away, he winked at Trynt. "And not just for food." "Later tonight. Bath first," Trynt instructed with a fond shake of his head. He followed Trynt to the bathroom, and Trynt started running the warm water. They usually conserved water, but Matt realised that Trynt had decided it was an acceptable exception to give Matt some comfort after all he had been through, and for that, Matt was grateful. After helping Matt unbutton his dark blue shirt, Trynt slid it from his shoulders. Matt closed his eyes, knowing Trynt was going to be upset when he saw his other injuries. He never intended to hide them; he just wanted to be here alone with Trynt. Sure enough, when Trynt opened his shirt, he let out a 103


strangled cry as he saw the myriad of bruises. The landing had been rough, but his broken arm was the worst of his injuries. "Why didn't you tell me?" Trynt gave Matt a disapproving look. "I just wanted to go home," Matt repeated quietly, dropping his gaze to Trynt's hands. "I just wanted to be in our flat where you can take care of me not as my doctor but as my partner." He looked up at Trynt through his eyelashes, pleading with his partner not to be upset. "I'm sorry... I knew they weren't serious. Please don't be mad." "Matt..." Trynt pulled him in for a hug, peppering his face with kisses. "I'm not mad, just concerned about you." He ran his hands carefully over the livid yellow and purple bruises. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked in concern. "I think I have bandages if we need to wrap your ribs... I didn't think, I just wanted to get you home." "No cracked ribs or bleeding, the field doctor said," Matt assured him, knowing Trynt was cursing himself for not giving Matt a full exam before they left, and he didn't want him to feel guilty. "It just looks worse than it is. If it had been serious, I would've told you before we left, love." "I know, but you're definitely getting that massage later," Trynt promised with a kiss. Matt groaned as Trynt leant down to kiss some of the more vivid bruises while his hands undid Matt's trousers. "Looking forward to it." He gasped in pleasure as Trynt's hands slid round to caress his arse for a brief moment. He loved that Trynt could undo him with just a touch. 104


Trynt smiled, eyes darkening for a brief moment before he kissed Matt until they were breathless. "For now the bath will ease the sore muscles, so let's get you in there." He divested Matt of his trousers, briefs, socks, and shoes in one go, then turned off the water as Matt climbed into the tub, sighing in contentment at the warm temperature. "Oh this feels good. I've missed being warm," Matt said with a contented sigh. He rested his arm on the lip of the tub to avoid getting the cast wet. Trynt grabbed a flannel and soap, then knelt beside him. He leant in to kiss Matt, lips lingering for a long moment. "Just relax, I've got you now." Matt smiled as Trynt washed his chest. "This is what I've been wanting." "To be clean?" Trynt teased as he added more soap and washed away the dirt and grime on Matt's body. Matt laughed lightly. "No, you and me together." He paused as Trynt had him lean forward to wash and rub his back. "I couldn't help but think how lucky I was to be going home. All those men still out there fighting; the people they love may never see them again. And then there were the bodies on the boat..." He shuddered, and Trynt kissed his neck, the action soothing him. "I don't want that to happen to me, Trynt. I don't ever want to hurt you like that. But a lot of it is out of my hands, and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that we live in this time and that you have to worry like you do," he apologised, voicing what he had been thinking about the whole trip home. He gazed at Trynt adoringly. "But at the 105


same time, I'm so lucky to have you care enough to do that..." Trynt leant in to wrap Matt in a hug, not caring that he was getting soaking wet. "It's not your fault, and I know it's not in our hands. But I have faith that it'll be all right, because I have you now, and we're together. As long as we keep holding on, we can get through this," he stated with conviction and kissed Matt's temple. "We may live in a horrible time that's full of uncertainty, fear, and hate, but the most powerful weapon against that is love. And we have that, Matt. We have so much of that." "We do," Matt agreed, his mood and spirits lifting as Trynt held him. "Your love kept me fighting and helped me get home." He held Trynt tightly. "Despite everything, Trynt, I wouldn't change this for the world," he confessed, his tone warm and intimate. "Not as long as I have you." "I'm yours, always," Trynt promised. Gazing into Matt's eyes, he cupped his cheek. "And I wouldn't change this either, not one second. Everything I've been through led me to you, and it was worth it," he stated, then gave Matt a loving smile. "You're worth it." Matt leant in to kiss Trynt. "So are you. You always will be." Trynt hugged his partner once more, then pulled back to help Matt finish his bath. He washed away the vestiges of the week, cleaning and soothing Matt's body as he purred with contentment. He washed Matt's hair and felt the older man drifting to sleep as he massaged his scalp, so he moved 106


things along and got him out of the tub. Matt put on an undershirt and trousers while Trynt changed into dry clothes. "Dinner is almost ready," Kimi called out as they sat on the settee. "You're an angel," Matt replied. "I'm starving." Trynt let Matt stretch out and cradled him in his arms. Matt rested his head on Trynt's chest, letting the steady beat of his heart drown out the cries, screams, and sounds of destruction that he'd heard over the past weeks. He knew it would add to his nightmares, but in Trynt's arms, he was sure to get a restful sleep. He sighed in contentment; Trynt's hands were warm and soothing as they ran across his body. Feeling wrapped in a cocoon of contentment, Matt started to drift off to sleep. "Kimi?" Trynt called out, and Matt could hear the smile in his voice. "I think dinner might have to wait." Kimi came in from the kitchen. "I guess he was more tired than hungry," she mused. "He looks so relaxed in your arms." Matt felt Trynt reach for the throw blanket over the couch, and then a second later, he heard Kimi say she had it and nearly sighed as the warm afghan settled over them. "I don't think he slept at all..." Trynt said, and Matt could hear his partner's worry. "He's not the only one," Kimi pointed out, and Matt again felt guilty for the stress and worry he'd caused Trynt. Feigning sleep, he snuggled closer, burrowing his face in Trynt's neck comfortingly.

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Trynt ran his fingers through Matt's hair, and even though he was half asleep, Matt could feel his gaze. "I couldn't help it. I was too worried and unable to sleep without him." "Why don't you get some rest too? We'll reheat the food," Kimi suggested. Matt felt her lean over to kiss Trynt's temple. "I need to write some letters home anyway." "Thanks Kimi," Trynt said. He snuggled down into the embrace and Matt then gave in and fell asleep in an instant. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Fourteen Later that night, Matt was sleeping peacefully in their bed when Trynt's cries woke him. Startled, he leant over his partner and saw that Trynt was in the midst of a nightmare. "No, Matt!" Trynt cried in desperation, "Not him, please..." Matt's heart ached as he pulled Trynt into his arms and held him close. He whispered in Trynt's ear, "Love, it's just a dream. I'm right here. It's all right..." Trynt's eyes flew open. Then he turned in the embrace to bury his face in Matt's neck, clinging to him. A few minutes passed as he soothed and comforted Trynt with tender words and caresses. "Thank God, it was just a dream," Trynt said, his voice catching as a few tears fell onto Matt's bare chest. "I thought I'd lost you." "Shh," Matt soothed, rubbing soothing circles on Trynt's back and pressing kisses to his hair. "You didn't. I'm here, I'm right here." Trynt pressed his hand to Matt's heart, and Matt knew he was letting the steady beat reassure him as he looked up at Matt through his eyelashes. "Show me," he pleaded huskily. "Make love to me, Matt." He hooked his leg over Matt's hips, drawing him close. "I need you." "God, yes, I need you too," Matt said, pushing Trynt onto his back and straddling his hips. "I've missed you so much. I wanted so badly to be with you, to touch you, hear your voice. I missed you, everything about you." Matt captured 109


Trynt's lips against his and sought to devour his mouth. He always felt complete and loved in Trynt's arms. "It's so good to be back in your arms." "It's been the same for me, love. Everything's off when you're not with me. I felt like part of me was gone, and you were. I'm so glad you're home." Trynt cupped Matt's face in his hands. "Dw i'n dy garu di," Trynt whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "I love you too." Matt leant in for another hungry kiss as he reached into the nightstand for the massage oil. He found it and dropped it on the bed. As he stretched across Trynt, their arms encircled each other, and they enjoyed the skin on skin contact as their cocks slid together, both of them half hard already. They kissed for long moments, until Trynt pleaded, "Please, I want you inside of me." "How do you want me to take you, love?" Matt asked, fingers tangling in Trynt's bed-tousled hair. He was pleased to see the fear and worry of the nightmare had faded from Trynt's eyes, which were now darkened with desire and need. "I want your strong arms to hold me as I lose myself...I want you so deep that I don't know where I end and you begin." Trynt gasped as Matt nipped his jaw. "I don't think I can support myself on my arm," Matt admitted. "So, how about side by side?" "Yes, pressed behind me...filling me completely," Trynt agreed with a smile, running his fingers across Matt's cast. Matt kissed him once more before moving so Trynt could stretch out on his side. He crawled up behind him and turned 110


Trynt's face to kiss him passionately. "Slow and deep?" he asked before moving down, kissing and sucking on his partner's neck, leaving a vivid love bite. Trynt arched his neck back to give his partner better access. "Yes, I want you to make love to me." . "Always." Matt knelt behind him, trailing kisses down Trynt's spine, pushing him sideways into the mattress to give himself better access. He ran his fingers teasingly over Trynt's arse down to his perineum before he plunged his tongue deep inside Trynt's entrance, tasting him. "Don't stop, Matt, please!" Trynt cried out in pleasure, breathing in sharply. Matt repeated the action. He flicked his tongue into the puckered opening again and again before beginning to move it in circles around the tight ring. He moved one hand around Trynt to stroke his balls as he continued to explore Trynt's entrance with his mouth, loving the taste and the texture. He sought only to pleasure his partner in the most intimate way possible as he delved as deep as he could into Trynt's body. Above him, Trynt was making incoherent noises as he thrust back onto Matt's tongue and forward against his hand that cupped his balls. "Matt...stop!" Trynt clutched the sheets in his fists. "I need you, please! I don't want to come until you're inside me." Matt flicked his tongue once more inside Trynt and then he knelt back on his heels. "I need to prepare you first." He leant over to kiss Trynt, letting him taste himself on Matt's tongue. "Hurry," Trynt begged. 111


"Soon, I promise," Matt said in a soothing tone. "Just relax and enjoy this." Trynt nodded and took a few calming breaths. "The things you do to me..." "Haven't even started yet," Matt teased. With a grin, he reached for the massage oil he had discarded, then stretched out alongside Trynt. Pressing himself against Trynt's back, Matt nestled his erection against Trynt's arse. He wrapped his arms around Trynt, sliding his injured arm under his torso and resting it against his partner's chest, holding him for just a moment. Trynt cradled Matt's casted arm in his hands as he held him, giving himself fully to Matt. Matt was thrilled; he wanted Trynt to lose himself in the pleasure he was giving his partner. Pressing his chest against Trynt's back, Matt began kissing Trynt's neck again, leaving a mark and soothing it with his tongue. His hands trailed down, teasing Trynt's nipples as his mouth worshipped his shoulders, neck, and throat leaving Trynt keening and mewling in contentment. Matt then opened the jar, slicked the fingers of one hand, and traced Trynt's tight opening. He found it wet and relaxed from the rimming as he worked a finger inside, causing his partner to hiss and moan. "Duw, more!" Trynt cried, his accent made thicker with his arousal. He inserted a second finger as Trynt moaned louder and canted his hips back faster. Matt leant in, kissing and nipping Trynt's earlobe. A sudden surge of possessiveness rose inside of him, with the need to claim Trynt as his. They'd only had the one night together before he had to leave, but it 112


had been perfect and just like now it felt so good, he knew it always would. Only Trynt had ever made him feel this way and he wanted to hear his partner say he felt same. He needed him too. "Easy, love. I know. I know how it feels. Your touch is like fire that fills me with a passion and leaves me wanting only the pleasure I get from being with you. Is that what I do for you?" Trynt looked back at him with hooded eyes. "Yes, God, yes," he agreed. "Only you, Matt. Only you can make me feel this way." Matt knew he was slowly driving Trynt insane and felt his partner's body shudder with desire. Trynt captured Matt's lips against his. They locked gazes, both of their eyes nearly black with desire and filled with love. Matt slid in a third finger, brushing over Trynt's prostate, and Trynt gasped into his mouth. "Need you inside me," Trynt pleaded, clenching around Matt's fingers. "Yes, I want to be inside you," Matt said, breathless. "I'm so hard for you... Just you." Matt teased Trynt's prostate, and Trynt whimpered. "Matt, please!" he begged. "Make love to me... I'm ready." Matt withdrew his fingers and quickly coated his throbbing cock with the oil, forcing a few deep breaths to pull himself back from coming. He placed the head of his cock against Trynt's opening. He slid his leg between Trynt's thighs and pulled his hips back a bit to give himself better access. Trynt pulled his top leg up to his chest, opening himself even more to Matt. "God, you're tight," Matt whispered, loving the way Trynt's body surrounded his cock as he worked his way inside him. 113


When he was all the way in, he went completely still, using all of his self control to give Trynt's body time to adjust to his presence. He had one arm still wrapped around Trynt's chest, and he held him close. "Feels so good," Trynt said with a shaky breath. "Go slow, I want it to last." "Me too... I'd stay inside you forever if I could." Matt pulled back gently then thrust in again. He kept his motions slow and shallow, wanting the pleasure to last for both of them. "Forever," Trynt immediately agreed. "Love having you in me, filling me completely." He turned his face, capturing Matt's lips against his as Matt's hips kept up a steady and slow rhythm. "Love you," Matt gasped against Trynt's mouth. "Love you so much." "Love you too." Trynt grasped Matt's hand, twining their fingers together, and moved their hands to his heart. "You're still here with me." "Yes, I'm here." Matt gave him a loving kiss, then pressed their hands against Trynt's rapid heartbeat. "Right here..." "Always," Trynt whispered, and he looked back at Matt in understanding. They moved against each other in a steady pace. Several times, one or the other had to pause and breathe deeply to keep from coming too soon. They would lay still and whisper soothing words until the urgency passed. Eventually, a thin sheen of sweat covered both of them and they were breathing hard. 114


Matt cried out in pleasure when his partner clenched around him. "Harder, please," Trynt pleaded and reached back to grasp Matt's hip. Matt knew his partner was aching for release. After a couple of slow thrusts, Matt established a steady rhythm as he pounded into his partner, his balls smacking Trynt's arse. Matt shifted so that each thrust hit Trynt's prostate head on, his fingers digging into Trynt's hip. Trynt writhed and clenched around him again, holding onto Matt. "Just like that... Right there!" Trynt cried out in pleasure. He thrust back, meeting and matching Matt's thrusts as he rocked his body faster. Matt sensed Trynt's need and met his pace. Matt felt his orgasm approaching quickly. He began to moan, loving the feel of sliding in and out of Trynt's pliant body. The sounds of flesh hitting flesh, and heavy breathing filled the room as they both neared completion. He wanted Trynt to come first, needed him to. Taking his hand from Trynt's hip, he grasped his partner's hard cock in his fist and began pumping it rapidly. "I'm going to come... So close. Please," Trynt begged, barely able to speak. "Come for me," Matt whispered, kissing him hungrily. "Let go." Trynt's body tensed at Matt's touch and words pushed him over the edge. "Matt, God, Matt!" he cried as his orgasm exploded, and he coated Matt's hand and the sheets with his come. Matt kept caressing his partner's cock as he milked all of his release from him. 115


He felt Trynt's muscles clamp around his cock as his came. He continued thrusting through Trynt's orgasm, drawing out his pleasure. Trynt cried out, whimpering as waves of ecstasy rolled through him and this fuelled Matt's passion as he pounded into his partner. Trynt brought their joined hands to his lips, kissing Matt's knuckles. "Let go, Matt," he urged. "For me, Cariad." Matt's orgasm overtook him suddenly, and he cried out, "God, Trynt!" He thrust into Trynt one more time and came hard. Pressing against Trynt's sweaty back, he emptied himself deep inside his partner in hot streams. He held Trynt tightly, burying his face in the curve of Trynt's neck as waves of pleasure rolled through him. His softening cock was still sheathed in his partner's trembling body. Trynt clutched his hand tighter, as he too trembled through the aftershocks of their lovemaking. They stayed like that for a long time, until their breathing returned to normal and they were no longer shaking. Sated and content, Matt pressed kisses to Trynt's neck, whispering soothing words of love and comfort. He slid out of Trynt, and Trynt rolled over. Leaning on his elbow, he caressed Matt's cheek with his other hand and kissed him. "I love you, Matt," Trynt said, voice soft and low. "It's going to be okay, isn't it?" Matt nodded and reached up to cup Trynt's face. "It is. And I'll be right here for whatever you need." "Likewise. You still need rest, and I want to take care of you." He ran his hands over Matt's bruised torso, a flicker of guilt filling his eyes. "Are you okay? I shouldn't have asked—" 116


Matt pressed his finger to Trynt's lips, silencing him, refusing to let his partner feel that way when he had wanted to make love to him. "I'm fine; they're just bruises. They don't hurt. And my arm is fine. You gave me just what I needed: you." He caressed Trynt's cheek. "You give comfort and I love to lose myself in you. I know you wanted that too." "I did; I needed to know you're here, that you're all right. Promise you'll stay with me as long as you can?" Trynt shifted his position, enveloping Matt in a tight embrace. He pressed a kiss to Matt's temple, and Matt felt his partner trying to rein in his emotions as his body shuddered. "I can't be without you...I just can't. These past few weeks proved that." "I promise," Matt said quietly, and he sealed his lips over Trynt's, pouring all his love into it. "I'm not going anywhere; I can't be without you either. I'll always come back to you. All right?" "All right." Trynt nodded, eyes bright with tears. "That's all I needed to hear." He kissed Matt again. "We should get some rest; you have to go to the base tomorrow, yeah?" "I do." Matt snuggled into the embrace, tucking his head under Trynt's chin. "For now, just hold me?" "I'm not letting go," Trynt's voice was rough as he buried his face in Matt's hair. "Good, because I'm not letting go either." Matt nuzzled into the crook of Trynt's neck, breathing in his scent. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you, I'll always love you," Trynt whispered back. [Back to Table of Contents] 117


Chapter Fifteen The next day back at the base made Matt want to turn around and go back home. He had to write up a report of what had happened during the incident that led to his injury. He knew he'd probably be given a medal, while James, who had been just a scared kid, would probably be demoted or dishonourably discharged for his cowardice. Finished with that, Matt left his office for a coffee only to find two cadets trying to calm a distraught blonde woman in a red overcoat. "What's going on here?" Matt demanded to know of the cadet. George straightened to attention. "Captain, Commander Whittaker asked us to escort Miss Hale from the base and see that she gets to a cab." Matt gave the woman a sympathetic look. "And why's that?" The young woman dabbed at her hazel eyes, red-rimmed with tears and her mascara smudged. "I may have tried to say I was Richard's wife," she admitted but didn't sound apologetic. "But I am his fiancee. I deserve to know if he's all right!" "Ma'am, the commander was sorry, but you are not Lieutenant Morris's wife or listed on his contact card," Chris replied in a formal tone.

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"There was no time. He got his orders before we could be married!" the woman cried, both angry and upset. "What's it going to hurt to let me know if he's all right?" Matt shot the cadet a look, then laid his hand on the woman's arm; he couldn't let her go when he knew Richard was just fine. And he owed it to his lieutenant for getting him out of the danger zone. "Why don't we talk? I'd hate to see you see leave so upset," he said in a soothing tone, giving her his most charming smile. "Thank you, Captain," she replied with gratitude, returning the smile. Matt dismissed the cadets, then led the woman to the break room. "Coffee, Ma'am?" "Nancy, please," Nancy insisted as she sat down. "And no thank you." "Nancy, they really can't tell you; it goes against rules and regulations." Matt sat next to her. "But I understand, I really do." Nancy gazed at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Do you have someone like me who has to resort to begging just to find out about the man she loves?" He sighed heavily; Trynt wouldn't have even been able to do that, if he hadn't come home. His partner would never have been able to say good-bye, been given his belongings or even a notice of what had happened. "Something like that," he admitted, then pushed aside the thought. He was home, and Trynt didn't have to worry for now. "Look, you said his name is Richard Morris, right?" 119


"Yes, of the 12th Squadron." Nancy folded her hands in lap, seeming to brace herself for bad news. Matt leant forward and dropped his voice to a whisper. "I was out there in the midst of the battle a few days ago, and this"—he gestured to the cast—"brought me home. What I'm about to say stays between us, are we clear?" "I won't tell a soul, Captain." Nancy grasped his hand. "Please is he all right? He's all I have, I can't bear the thought of losing him," she said, and she sounded so upset that Matt knew he was right to tell her the good news. "I'm part of that squadron; Richard is one of my men and one of the best. You should be proud, Nancy." Matt squeezed her hand. "He helped me when my plane went down —" Nancy gasped, and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh God, Richard!" she interrupted as tears filled her eyes. He realised the way he'd said it had led Nancy to assume the worst. "Oh no," he hurried to assure her, "he's just fine, I'd never let anything happen to my squadron. Not again," he said with regret, thinking of Eric, and how he'd failed him. "Thank you, Captain, thank you!" Nancy threw her arms around him and hugged him. Matt returned the hug awkwardly, relieved when she pulled back. "You're welcome. I wish I could still be there for them, but I will do all I can to keep them safe from here," he promised her, determined to do everything in his power to just do that. "I have no doubts of that. You've no idea how relieved I am." Nancy smiled through her tears. "It's been so long since I heard from him last, I feared the worst." 120


"Communication is a bit slow, and sometimes letters get lost," Matt explained to her. "I'm just glad I could put you at ease." "You did," Nancy assured him, then kissed his cheek as he stood. "I'm going to leave so we don't get in trouble. I'll put on a show so no one knows what you told me. Thank you again." Matt smiled at her. "Least I could do. Take care of yourself, Nancy." "And you, Captain." Nancy began crying as she stormed out of the break room, slamming the door. Matt could hear her crying about good-for-nothing captains who couldn't give her simple information. Chuckling, he got up and poured himself some coffee. It hit him then that Nancy reminded him of Anne, and guilt rose up in him. He'd never written to her, never broken things off, just left after that night and never looked back. He felt awful thinking of Anne waiting for news and worrying about him, but nearly five years had passed. Surely she had moved on? Shaking his head, he looked up as Noel, a dark-skinned man with cropped hair and glasses, walked in. Noel was a good friend and one of the few who knew he was with Trynt and had known about Eric as well. It had been awkward at first. Noel hadn't understood Matt and Eric's relationship when he caught them together, but to their relief he hadn't reported them. After they got to know each other, Noel came around and accepted them for who they were. "What did you 121


do, Captain?" he asked, dark brown eyes filled with amusement. "That woman certainly doesn't like you." Matt shrugged. "You know I'm not a fan of quite a few rules and regulations, but we have to at least act like we're following them." Noel's eyes widened in understanding. "Oh, you are good," he said in admiration with a chuckle. "How's the arm?" Matt's hand clenched as it cramped up. He tried to ignore the pain. "Could be better, could be worse. My doctor is keeping a close eye on it." Noel poured himself a coffee. "Uh-huh. I'm surprised you even showed up today," he teased good-naturedly. "You just got home and already you're working." "Duty calls, and the war never stops," Matt replied, rubbing his hand. "Of course I'd rather be at home letting my arm heal, but I can't." Noel looked at him in concern. "You sure you're okay?" He glanced down at the cast and then back up at Matt's pained face. "Just a cramp." Matt brushed it off, refusing to give in to the pain. "I've got work to do. I'll talk to you later, Noel." "Take care of yourself." Noel squeezed his shoulder as he walked past. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Sixteen Three days later, Trynt came out of the bedroom and crouched beside Matt as his partner entered the flat and collapsed on the sofa. "Hey there, handsome," he greeted. Matt gave him a tired smile as he dropped his head back against the cushion. "Hey, beautiful. Care to join me?" Trynt brushed back the fringe on Matt's forehead, taking in his pale complexion, slouched posture, and sleepy eyes. He was sure that Matt was dead on his feet. He'd been going nonstop, working over fifteen hours each day to help out at the base. Trynt was concerned that his partner had pushed himself past the point of exhaustion. "Matt, you can't keep pushing yourself like this." "I don't have a choice," Matt said, his irritation obvious. "I can't be where my men are, but as their captain, I have to keep them safe. I have to make sure everything is taken care of here so they can be prepared out there." "I know that." Trynt sat beside him, deciding to broach the subject. Matt's eyes were filled with pain, and he knew his arm was bothering him. "But you're in pain and clearly past your limits." "They don't get time to rest, Trynt." Matt scrubbed a hand across his face. "Why the hell should I?" "Because you're not a hundred percent," Trynt pointed out, trying to stay calm because arguing wouldn't do any good. "You're not going to do them any good if you fall ill." 123


"I won't, I just have to push through the pain. I've done it before," Matt said with a shrug as if it was nothing. Trynt sighed. Refusing to let it go, he tried another tactic. "I'm worried about you," he admitted. Matt looked over at him, trying to smile but failing. "Don't be. I just need a good night's rest." "You said that yesterday." Trynt put his hand on Matt's thigh. "Can't you just take one day to recuperate?" he pleaded, tone low and soothing. "The war doesn't stop because I'm tired," Matt snapped. Regret flashed in his eyes immediately. "I'm sorry—" Trynt stood, letting Matt see that hurt as he looked back at him. "I don't know what's wrong with you, Matt, but I can't take this anymore! For three days, I've watched you run yourself ragged, your arm is clearly hurting—don't you dare lie, I can see it in your eyes," he hissed, and Matt's mouth snapped shut. "As a doctor, I know how unhealthy this is for you... and as your partner I hate that I feel so damn helpless. Tell me what's wrong, please." He allowed his anger to deflate, only wanting to help Matt. "Let me in." Matt dropped his head in his hands as a shudder racked his body. He was quiet for a long moment, then spoke so quietly Trynt had to kneel beside him again. "Do you know what one of my duties is now that I'm on base? I have to help notify families that their men aren't coming home... I've sent out hundreds because of that battle, hundreds, Trynt. All I have is a broken arm and a tired body." He slowly lifted his head, eyes bright and filled with pain. "I can't not help when I'm still here." 124


Trynt fought tears as he sat back down on the settee and drew Matt into his arms. Matt curled into the embrace, burying his face in Trynt's neck and breathing in contentment. "Why didn't you tell me that?" Trynt asked, stroking Matt's hair in a soothing manner. He now understood why Matt was pushing himself so hard, and it broke his heart. "You've had nightmares every night of losing me. I didn't want to make those fears any worse," Matt admitted, glancing up at Trynt. "I'm going to have that fear until this war is over, and I know the cold and harsh reality of it. You don't have to keep things from me, especially not when you need me." Trynt pressed a kiss to Matt's temple. "Please, let me help. Rest for me?" he nearly begged, knowing Matt couldn't go on like this. "Just for a day?" Matt agreed, pressing a kiss to Trynt's neck. "Just for a day," Trynt confirmed, running his fingers along Matt's cast as he elevated his partner's arm by resting it on his chest. "I wish I could take you somewhere where we could get away and relax." "I'm happy here, just like this," Matt murmured in contentment, "And relaxed." Trynt sighed in relief. "Good," he said with a content smile. He stretched out on the sofa, keeping Matt in his arms. His partner shifted a little so he was comfortable, lying across Trynt with his head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as he loved to do.

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With his fingers running through Matt's hair, Trynt began to softly sing Rudy Vallee's As Time Goes By as his partner fell asleep. Trynt was pleased to hear Matt's quiet snores, and he was relieved he'd convinced Matt to rest. It had been tearing him apart to see him hurting, but now that he knew the reason Matt was pushing himself so hard, he could help and support him through this. He wasn't tired, so he held Matt close and watched over his partner as he slept, so very grateful that he was one of the lucky ones and his partner had come home. He tried not to think about the fact that once Matt recovered, he'd be going back, and his worst fear might come true. He held Matt a little tighter, praying that wouldn't happen. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seventeen Trynt trudged up the stairs to their flat. It had been a long and exhausting day that he was supposed to have off. It was his birthday after all. But Ben had fallen ill and he was called in. Bastard, Trynt thought, certain Parker had done it on purpose. Lucy, Wynne, and a few others had thrown together a small celebration, but without Matt there it didn't feel right, and he couldn't find it in himself to celebrate. He wished that they didn't have to hide; he wanted Matt there beside him. He hated that society labelled them as wrong when what they shared couldn't be more right in this war-torn world. He reached the door and saw a note taped to the door. Curious, he lifted it off and read: Trynt, Meet me up on the roof Mat Trynt smiled and tucked the note into his coat pocket before taking the stairs again and heading to the roof. As he pushed open the door, familiar hands covered his eyes. "Hey, gorgeous," Matt whispered in his ear. "Ready for your birthday surprise?" Trynt smiled, the worries and troubles of the day lifting, and he found that he was already in a good mood. Just being with Matt had that effect. And he was excited to see what Matt had planned. He had been promising a special evening where they could celebrate in private. It was exactly what he 127


wanted. "Yes, I've been looking forward to this all day," he replied excitedly. "Good, I hope you like it." Matt kissed Trynt's cheek and led him over to where he had the picnic waiting. He dropped his hands and stood next to his partner. "Surprise!" Trynt gasped as he saw the setup that was before him. A blanket was spread out with a picnic basket and wine. A few candles were lit near a small radio that was playing music that was turned down low. It was all set up in a secluded area, but they could still see the stars and clear night sky above them. Matt had obviously gone to great lengths to give him all this, and he found himself falling in love all over again at the romantic gesture. "Matt," he said in awe. "This is amazing." Matt smiled and produced a red rose from his coat. "Happy birthday, Trynt." Trynt hugged him, then brushed a grateful kiss to his partner's lips. "Thank you!" It was a warm fall evening, so they removed their coats, and Matt settled down on the blanket with Trynt sitting between his legs and resting back against his chest. Matt wrapped his arms around Trynt and kissed the side of his face. He reached for the wine, poured a glass, and shared it with Trynt. "To you," Matt said fondly. "And another year. Time is only making you more beautiful." Trynt blushed slightly as he took a sip of wine. "Thank you, Cariad." Matt pulled the basket over. "Want to see what we have?" 128


Trynt nodded, and Matt took out a small bundt cake with a candle. "You can't have a birthday without cake. This is the best I could do with the rationing," he admitted. Trynt chuckled. "No, you can't, and it's perfect." Matt had Trynt hold the cake while he reached for a nearby lit candle and used it to light the one on the cake. "Okay, make a wish." Trynt smiled. "But I already have everything I want," he said truthfully. Matt put his hands over Trynt's. "Surely there must be something?" he encouraged. Trynt locked gazes with him, a loving look in his eyes. "I have you. What more could I possibly need?" Matt squeezed Trynt's hands and kissed him as the candle burnt down. "Wish for something for us, then... If you want..." Trynt nodded and blew out the candle, wishing the war would end and they would no longer have to worry about being separated. He wanted them just to live out the rest of their lives together in peace. "Perfect." "What did you wish?" Matt asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. Trynt shook his head. "I can't tell you or it won't come true." Matt pouted, and Trynt laughed. "Please?" "No, Cariad, I really want it to come true," Trynt insisted, not wanting to ruin the wish. "You'll love it, I promise." Matt smiled. "All right, then, I bet I could guess anyway." 129


"Go on," Trynt urged, wanting to know what Matt would say. "For us to live happily ever after," Matt said affectionately, kissing Trynt's neck. "That's how it goes, right?" Trynt laughed again, and he couldn't help but notice the smile that graced Matt's face because of it. "Something like that, yes," he admitted, a smile lighting up his own face. "Want some cake?" Matt asked, and Trynt nodded. They shared the cake, feeding it to each other between soft kisses. Matt gave Trynt the last bite, and he sighed happily. The cake was moist and delicious. He let it melt in his mouth before capturing Matt's lips against his, letting him taste the cake and heady mix of wine on his tongue. Matt returned the kiss, their tongues tangling as they kissed for long moments until they were both breathless. Matt caressed Trynt's cheek. "I wanted to take you someplace special, maybe even fly you off to some romantic getaway. And your next birthday when the war is over—I'm not going to think otherwise—we'll do that. But I hope you like this." He gestured. "It was as romantic as I could get with rations and short supplies, but I wanted it to be special for you." "I love it, and it is." Trynt looked back at Matt as he set the wine down. "I want to do that next year, but this is perfect. I've wanted all day to just celebrate with you. Whatever we do doesn't matter," he said honestly, giving Matt a tender look. "I'm happy as long as you're with me."

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"Likewise." Matt captured Trynt's lips against his. "I love you." He reached over and grabbed a package wrapped in plain brown paper. "This is for you." "Thank you." Trynt smiled as he tore off the paper, revealing a very worn copy of a collection of Emerson's poems. He ran his fingers reverently over the book, just knowing it was important. "I do enjoy Emerson. But I'm guessing it's not just a book?" "Always clever," Matt said with a smile as he opened the book. "It's all I have left of my Dad... He wrote this message." He pointed to the inside cover. "In case anything ever happened to him..." Trynt gazed at the scrawled message. "Matt, I can't possibly take this." Matt put his hands over Trynt's. "I want you to. Please. It's ours now. Dad said here that he wanted me to make him proud and grow up to lead a good life. He wanted me to find someone who loved me as much as Mum loved him...and I did... I found you. And I finally feel like I'm leading that life he wanted me to," he confessed, squeezing Trynt's hands. "So, please take it." He felt tears stinging his eyes as he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Okay," he said, barely able to speak. He turned in Matt's arms and poured everything he was feeling into a loving kiss. "It means so much that you gave this to me... Your dad would be so very proud of you and the man you've become." Matt nodded, and Trynt saw that he truly believed it, which made him happy. "So would yours." 131


He broke into a smile. He knew that in this moment his father would be. "You couldn't have picked a better gift." His fingers traced over the book. "I love you and feel the same way. I know this is how my life is supposed to be." His partner wiped away a tear Trynt hadn't even known had fallen. "Do you remember what you told me about your tad's watch if we ever had to be apart again?" Trynt nodded. "This is my promise to you." He flipped the book to the centre. "And this too." Trynt looked to see Matt's flight wings tucked in the book. "Oh..." He found himself at a loss for words as he picked up the wings. He knew what they meant, how special they were to Matt. "I told them I was out, and they fell off. I didn't notice until it was too late... So they're going to replace them," Matt explained, resting his chin on Trynt's shoulder. "Which means these are yours." "I don't know what to say..." Trynt ran his thumb over the wings. No matter what happened, Matt would always come back to him; he knew that without a doubt now. "You don't have to say anything, love." Matt kissed his hair. "I'm yours; all that I am belongs to you." He put his hand over Trynt's. "This may be my duty, but it will never stop me from being with you. I love flying, but if I ever had to choose, there'd be no contest. I'd pick you in a heartbeat." "And I'm yours." Trynt kissed Matt passionately as he turned in the embrace to face his partner. "None of this matters, Matt." He gestured about. "I'd give it all up and follow you anywhere if you asked, because I belong with 132


you," he confessed. "I don't care what we do after the war as long as we're together." "We will be. Always," Matt promised and kissed him again. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eighteen Later that night, Matt and Trynt lay in bed sated and content, wrapped in each other's arms. Matt rested his head against Trynt's chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as it lulled him to sleep. But there was still something he had on his mind, and he needed to ask. "Trynt?" he asked, wondering if his partner was asleep. "Hmm?" "Are you asleep?" Trynt yawned. "Almost. I'm sorry, Cariad, that I couldn't get the whole day off to spend with you." Matt pushed himself up so he was leaning over Trynt. He brushed his lips against his partner's. "Don't be sorry about that. I just wish you'd had it off for your birthday, but we had a wonderful night." "The best birthday I've ever had," Trynt agreed with a contented smile. "Dancing on the rooftop, dinner, and you. Perfect." Matt smiled back. "I'm glad you had a good time. Get some rest, love. We'll talk in the morning," he decided, not wanting it to wait but not wanting to keep Trynt up either. Trynt ran his hand down Matt's arm. "About what?" he asked out of curiosity. "I just wanted to talk about plans for after the war. Let's make it definite—real—because it'll happen," Matt said with conviction. He wanted to make plans, to give them both hope that they would have the life they talked about after the war 134


was over. "And in the meantime, we'll have something to look forward to." Trynt nodded in agreement. Now that the cast was off and Matt was in therapy to regain use of his arm, it had become more real to them that there was a definite possibility they could be separated again. The war showed no signs of stopping anytime soon, so he knew it wouldn't be long before Matt was given new orders. "Okay, that sounds like a good idea," Trynt agreed, still stroking Matt's arm. Matt kissed him deeply, then thought for a moment. "So, where would we live? You said your family lives in Cardiff. What about moving there?" "You'd do that for me?" Trynt asked in surprise, his throat tight with emotion. "I don't have any family. I have no idea where my mother is." Matt shrugged. He couldn't change the past, but he could look forward to his future. Trynt missed his family a great deal, so moving closer to them just made sense and he'd do anything to make Trynt happy. "It doesn't matter to me where we go as long as we're together." Trynt lovingly caressed his cheek. "You do have family, Matt. Me, Kimi, and even Wynne and Lucy." Matt turned his face to kiss Trynt's palm, swallowing the lump in his throat. "They can come too. But would your family accept us?" Trynt was silent for a moment, then nodded. "They'll love you because I do," he said with a certainty that put Matt at ease. 135


Matt grinned and happily kissed Trynt. "So, a house in Cardiff, then. And you said you wanted to be a professor?" "Or an archivist at the Cardiff Library," Trynt decided, and Matt could just see him doing that. "What about you?" "Flight instructor or a commercial pilot." "So we have jobs and a home. And Cadwyn is already our pet. What else?" Trynt asked, and Matt could see he was trying to think of what else they could need. Matt settled into Trynt's arms again, nuzzling into his chest. "I wish I could marry you. Then it'd be perfect," he confessed, wishing they could have some way of committing to each other. Matt felt Trynt's breath catch at the admission. He let Trynt pull him up for a deep and passionate kiss. Trynt caught his gaze in the dim light of the room. "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me we belong together." Trynt put Matt's hand over his heart. "I know that you're mine and I'm yours, right here." "But would you say yes?" Matt asked, voice barely above a whisper and vulnerable. "Yes, if we could. I would of course I would." Trynt intertwined their fingers and pressed them down against his heart. Matt's smile lit up the room as he hugged Trynt. "We could have our own ceremony with our friends, or in private just like this," he suggested, deciding then that the only person who could stop him from committing to Trynt was himself, and he didn't give a damn what anyone else thought. It made 136


perfect sense to him to commit there in their bed or to have a little ceremony. "Just like this?" Trynt sat up and gave Matt a soft smile, letting Matt know he loved the thought of committing to each other right there. "I really can't think of a better place. We made love here, gave ourselves to each other for the first time. Here is perfect." He sat up as well and drew Trynt into his arms. They had today that they were certain of, anything could happen tomorrow. But nothing would change how they felt and life was too short to not celebrate what they had found in each other. He knew without a doubt he wanted Trynt to be his. He cupped Trynt's face. "I promise to always love you in good times and bad, in sickness and health, and not even death do us part. I take you as my husband to love and cherish for all the days of our lives," he vowed in a solemn tone. "Do you Trynt Andrews want that?" Trynt's eyes filled with tears, and he nodded. "I do." He paused and took a deep breath, composing himself as he gazed into Matt's eyes, taking Matt's breath away as he saw his partner's love and devotion reflected in those beautiful blue eyes. "I promise to always love you in good times and bad, in sickness and health, and not even death do us part. I take you as my husband to love and cherish for all the days of our lives," he vowed, voice thick with emotion. "Do you, Matt Jackson, want that?" "I do," Matt replied with conviction and kissed Trynt with a thoroughness that left them both wanting more. 137


His partner smiled when they broke apart. "Then we're now husband and husband." He rested his forehead against Matt's. "I love you." A tear slipped from Matt's eyes and Trynt brushed it away. "I love you, always," Matt whispered, his breath catching. "Always." Trynt moved into Matt's lap, straddling him as their bodies pressed closely together. They lost track of time kissing and caressing. "Another good reason to have it here," Matt said between kisses. "We don't have to go anywhere to celebrate our honeymoon." Trynt laughed, his eyes alight with happiness as he pressed Matt back into the mattress. "Like I said, perfect." He captured Matt's lips against his and began claiming him as his husband. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nineteen Trynt kissed Matt's neck, nibbling and kissing as a vivid love bite appeared. "I want to make love to you, Matt," he breathed against the marked skin. "Yes!" Matt pulled Trynt in for a deep kiss. "I wish I could've given you a ring." "We don't need jewellery or a certificate. The words we shared and what we feel for each other is all I need," Trynt said and he meant it, as he carded his fingers through Matt's hair. Looping his arms around Trynt's neck, Matt said, "Me too, but what I mean is I wish I could go out there and say 'Trynt Andrews, the incredibly sexy, clever and kind-hearted doctor, is my husband, who I love.' But we can't." "No, unfortunately we can't. And I don't like it either. You don't know how much I wish that I could say 'that dashing and heroic captain is mine.' And I should be able to know everything about your well-being when you go away. But that's not the way things are right now," he said, voice sad as he kissed Matt's eyelids. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought this up on our wedding night." Matt sighed and held his husband close. "It's all right," Trynt reassured him. "Everyone who matters to us knows that we're together, Cariad. Wynne, Lucy and Kimi. We can even tell them if you want." "Really?" Matt said with a smile. "I do want that." 139


"Of course, and so do I. Kimi is going to be upset that we didn't even invite her. She slept right through it." They both laughed, their moods lifting. Matt ran his hand down Trynt's bare back and a pleased look appeared in his eyes as Trynt's muscles rippled under his touch. "Well it was quite intimate. I think she'll understand." "It was. We didn't even have a witness," Trynt pointed out. "Yes we did." Matt looked over toward the door at their dog, who was fast asleep in her dog bed. "Cadwyn is right over there." He threw his head back in laughter. "Well, then, we're good." Matt laughed along with him. "Maybe the girls will throw us a party," he said excitedly. "They will," Trynt agreed, knowing how happy their friends would be for them. "Do you think there will be cake?" Matt's eyes lit up. "I love cake!" His laughter continued as he kissed Matt. "We'll make a special request. I love that the simplest things make you happy." "You make me happy, love." Matt gazed up at him seriously. Trynt's smile lit up his face. "That was my intent." He pressed kisses along Matt's jaw. "And to make you feel good...so good." Moaning, Matt tilted his neck back, giving Trynt better access as he kissed his neck. "You always do." 140


"What do you want, Cariad?" Trynt asked, wanting to pleasure his husband. "I want you so deep that I don't know where I end and you begin." Matt gazed up at him with passion-filled eyes. "And I want to watch you as you make love to me." "Duw, yes! But first, I intend to worship your body," Trynt told him, tone husky and intimate. "Just enjoy this." He began kissing Matt everywhere. He started with Matt's forehead, then both of his eyelids, over his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and his jawline. He paused to kiss the spot behind and below each ear before ravaging his husband's neck with his lips and teeth, leaving a trail of love bites. Matt was moaning, his fingers tangling in Trynt's hair as he urged his husband farther down. He kissed his husband once more, then continued to taste every inch of Matt. He licked along each collarbone, then trailed kisses over Matt's chest, stopping to lave each nipple and capture it with his teeth. Matt hissed as Trynt worked each nipple into a hardened peak. Abandoning Matt's nipples, Trynt trailed his mouth farther south on Matt's body, enjoying how Matt responded to his touch; he was now a writhing and keening mess. Trynt nuzzled Matt's cock, pressing a kiss to the head then dipping his tongue into the slit and tasting his essence. "Trynt, please I need more," Matt pleaded, tugging lightly on Trynt's hair. "I need you inside of me." He moved back up for a deep kiss, plundering Matt's mouth with his tongue. They broke apart only when the need for air became too great. "I'm going to take you." Trynt said, 141


a sudden surge of possessiveness rising up as the need to claim Matt as his husband became overpowering. "I'm going to make you come so hard you forget everything but my name—and I'm going to do it twice." "Oh God," Matt cried as a spike of pleasure went straight to his groin. His whole body shuddered with the thought, and Trynt knew it was what they both wanted. "I'm all yours, Trynt. Please take me." "Yes." Trynt kissed Matt hard, leaving him dazed. He was Matt's; he had been from the moment they met. "All mine, and I'm yours." As Trynt kissed Matt, he reached for the massage oil on the nightstand, opened it and coated his fingers with it. He reached down and began to tease and stroke his husband's balls and perineum, letting his fingers tease and drift downward until they brushed Matt's opening. His husband arched up into his touch, seeking more. Trynt eased one finger into Matt's tight opening. Matt made a small sound from the back of his throat as he pushed down on the finger breaching him. Matt spread his legs and relaxed under his ministrations as he ran his hands through the hairs on Trynt's chest and teased his nipples causing Trynt to let out a groan of his own. "More," Matt encouraged, keeping his eyes locked on Trynt. "Like this?" A second finger joined the first. Matt was relaxed and open as Trynt brushed both fingers across Matt's prostate, and he cried out in pleasure. "God! Now, Trynt," Matt begged. "Please." 142


"Soon, love," Trynt promised. He added a third finger, twisting, stroking and stretching Matt. "I need to prepare you." "I'm ready, please, Trynt," Matt assured breathlessly. "I need you to make love to me." Trynt brushed his fingers over Matt's prostate, loving the whimper that escaped from his husband. "I need you too, but I would never want to hurt you," Trynt said, giving Matt a lingering kiss. Matt cupped Trynt's cheek and locked gazes with him. "You never could." Trynt withdrew his fingers after a few more deliberate strokes as he felt Matt's muscles relax. He wanted to pleasure Matt not hurt him. "Prepare me, love." "My pleasure," Matt said, voice husky with need. He coated his hand with the oil before he stroked Trynt from base to tip, pausing to rub his thumb over the head and around to the underside. Trynt shuddered and steadied himself with a hand on Matt's chest. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, pressing into Matt's tender caresses. "That feels so good." Trynt gasped, suddenly grabbing Matt's wrist. "But I want to be inside you." "Yes, fill me, Trynt," Matt urged, nearly pleading. Trynt knelt down between Matt's thighs as he spread himself open for him, pulling his legs up to give his husband easier access. Trynt tucked a pillow under Matt's hips and aligned himself with Matt's entrance. Grasping Matt's hips, he pushed inward, seating himself in one fluid stroke. "You're so 143


tight." He took a few deep breaths to stop himself from coming. "Feels so good." "Feels amazing," Matt agreed. "But I need you to move, please..." "Move with me," Trynt decided, reaching down and pulling Matt upwards so that his husband was impaled on his cock and sitting in his lap. He guided Matt's legs around his waist and held onto him, letting their bodies adjust. "Perfect. This is what I wanted." "Oh God, Trynt." Matt gasped, resting his forehead against Trynt's own. "You're so deep in me." "I love being inside of you." Trynt loved the feeling of Matt's tight warmth surrounding him. "I love having you inside me. So good... I love you so much," Matt whispered as he looked into Trynt's eyes. "I don't care what anyone says or thinks. We're married, and I'm your husband. I love you, Trynt. You saved me and gave me meaning. I thought I was going to always be alone, but now I have you. You're everything to me, and everything I am is yours. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I am the luckiest man alive to have your love and be your husband." Matt wrapped his arms around Trynt's neck, so they were completely entangled. "I know our love is strong enough to outlast whatever this war throws at us. And despite it, I promise I will do everything I can to make you happy and give you the life you want." "You already have, Matt." Trynt began to thrust slowly as he held on to Matt. "All I want is a life with you. I want all the plans we just made. And I won't let anything stop us from 144


having them; we're going to build that life together. I know our love can overcome whatever happens." He cupped Matt's face in his hands, gazing into his stormy blue eyes. "And you'll never be alone again. I'll always be here for you, loving you with all my heart and making you happy. I didn't know what true happiness or love was until you came along, now it all makes sense. You're my whole world Matt and I couldn't love you more. And I certainly couldn't ask for anything more than to be here with you just like this," he admitted, then kissed Matt passionately, pouring all his feelings into the kiss. "I love you too." Matt slowly lifted himself up and then back down on Trynt's cock. "Always, Trynt." "Always," Trynt vowed. He placed his hands on Matt's hips for leverage, thrusting up as Matt came down, their bodies rocking together and finding a steady but slow rhythm. For long moments, the only sounds that filled the room were that of their lovemaking. No words were needed as they lost themselves in each other. "Harder," Matt pleaded after some time had passed, gripping onto Trynt's shoulders. "Ride me, Matt, ride me hard," Trynt urged, kissing him hungrily, tongue plunging into Matt's mouth. Matt rode Trynt's cock with abandonment, moving up and down his shaft for some time and Trynt watched in pleasure as he did so. Matt threw his head back in ecstasy, as Trynt increased his thrusts. Watching Matt pleasure himself by riding him and seeing where their bodies joined was incredibly erotic for Trynt. Sweat trickled down's Matt forehead; his body was flushed; 145


his muscles were straining and flexing as he worked himself up and down, his eyes half closed. To Trynt he couldn't have looked more perfect. "Duw, you're so beautiful like this," Trynt pulled Matt into a loving kiss. His husband gazed back at him, admiring Trynt as he pleasured himself on his body. "And you're absolutely gorgeous." He loved the sounds Matt was making. They were undoing him and he was close to coming, but he held back. He reached between them and began stroking Matt's cock in unison with his thrusts. Matt's eyes snapped open at the touch and he gave Trynt a messy openmouthed kiss. Matt twisted his hips and changed the angle then moaned as Trynt's cock hit his prostate. Matt let out a yell of pleasure as he came down and hit the spot again. "Trynt, not going to last!" Matt gasped. He knew Matt was close; he began fisting him roughly, wanting Matt to come. "Let go, I've got you. I want to see you come apart for me," he said softly. "Please, Cariad, come for me." Matt cried out Trynt's name as he came hard, covering both his belly and Trynt's in his release. He dropped his head on Trynt's shoulder, lost in pure bliss as wave upon wave of pleasure tore through him. He focused on holding off his own orgasm by grasping the base of his cock. He wanted Matt to come again. He knew Matt could, and he wanted to give his husband that pleasure, to drain him completely and leave him utterly sated. As the 146


urge to come diminished, he began to stroke Matt's still halfhard cock. "Trynt," Matt whimpered, his head resting on his partner's shoulder. "Oh God, Trynt." "I want you to come again." Trynt kissed Matt as he began to caress his cock more firmly, renewing his arousal. "I know you can and want to." Matt growled as Trynt's hand worked his cock. He was more than ready to go again, and Trynt grinned as Matt hardened in his hand. "Yes, God, yes! Make love to me, Trynt, make me come again," he encouraged, looking at Trynt through his eyelashes. "You're incredible." "So are you," Trynt said affectionately, sweeping back Matt's thick hair from his forehead. "Ready?" "Yes, I need to feel you hard and fast," Matt said, voice filled with need. He grasped Trynt's shoulders. "Don't hold back." "You asked for it." Trynt laid his husband back down, kissing him passionately. "But I want that too." After a few languid and slow thrusts, Trynt established a steady rhythm as he pounded into his husband, his balls smacking Matt's arse. Matt met every thrust and cried out in pleasure as Trynt changed the angle and hit his prostate with every stroke. Trynt felt himself slipping toward the edge once again as he watched his husband lost in pleasure. He reached down to stroke Matt's cock, but Matt clasped his husband's hand in his and kissed it. "I want to come just from you being inside me," he whispered. 147


Trynt kissed Matt deeply as he thrust harder into his husband. It became harder and harder for him to leave the tight heat of Matt's body. He knew Matt was close, and he could feel his own orgasm rapidly approaching. "So close," Matt told him, writhing and holding onto his husband. "I need to come, Trynt." "Come for me, Cariad. Please come for me," Trynt whispered with a smile. He captured Matt's lips again, swallowing his cries as Matt's second orgasm seized him. Matt began to shake as he pumped his essence between their bodies, coating their stomachs and chests. Trynt continued to pound into Matt's hot channel, drawing out and intensifying his orgasm, as he felt the contractions of his husband's orgasm around his cock. Matt cupped Trynt's cheek and gazed at him. "Let go, love." Trynt's orgasm overtook him suddenly as they locked gazes. He thrust twice more, then released into Matt's body in a hot stream that seemed to go on forever. Trynt cried out Matt's name over and over, shuddered through his orgasm, then collapsed on his husband's chest, completely spent. Matt wrapped his arms around Trynt's trembling body and pressed a kiss to his hair. For long moments, they lay together, letting their breathing return to normal, kissing gently and brushing sweaty hair out of each other's faces. Trynt slowly slid out of Matt, who whimpered at the loss. He drew Trynt up into his arms. 148


"Best. Birthday. Ever." Trynt punctuated the words with kisses as he gave his husband a sated smile. "And the perfect wedding." Matt ran his hand down Trynt's back. "Definitely. I'm going to have to really spoil you next year with our anniversary and your birthday on the same day." Trynt chuckled. "I'm sure you'll think of something." He kissed Matt again, lips lingering against his for a long moment. "Thank you, Cariad. I love you." "I love you with all that I am," Matt said. Trynt tucked his head into the crook of Matt's neck and breathed in the scent of him and their lovemaking as they drifted off to sleep together. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty The months passed quickly for the two men and before they knew it, it was December. The war was progressing, and the Allies were making advances through France, but the fighting was still going strong, and Matt was fully recovered. There was no reason he couldn't be shipped out with his group in France and rejoin his squadron. Trynt stared down at the paper and dropped his pen again, running his hands through his hair. "I don't think I can do this," he admitted to Wynne, who was sitting with him in his office and catching up on paperwork. Wynne squeezed his hand. "So ask—" "Don't you even suggest that Ben do this." Trynt huffed in annoyance. "I don't trust him as far as I can throw him. And I certainly wouldn't trust him with this. He doesn't even accept what Matt and I have." "Lucy, then," Wynne suggested. Trynt shook his head and picked up the pen. "It has to be me, Wynne. I ran all the tests, I got the report and reviewed that he passed his practice test with flying colours. He's a hundred percent physically, and as his doctor, I have to sign off that he's cleared for duty...but how can I?" He dropped the pen. "Trynt, I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you," Wynne said. "If it was Evan, I don't think I could do it." "Matt's trusting that I'll do my job. He knows we both hate this, and he doesn't want to go, but I can't be selfish and 150


keep him here when he could be saving lives. But how the hell do I sign off on letting my husband go, knowing I may never see him again?" Trynt buried his head in his hands and cursed. "Clearing him means anything could happen, and there's not a thing I can do..." Wynne leant over to hug him. "It's going to be okay..." Trynt looked up at her sadly, feeling helpless. "I can't lose him. I just can't," he admitted. "The first time, I was a wreck, and we had only just said we loved each other. Now, we're committed to each other, I love him more than life itself... I can't even imagine what it's going to be like when he leaves..." "We'll help you get through it," Wynne promised. "You've helped me and Lucy. Now, let us help you." Trynt lifted the pen, and before he could think about it again, he quickly signed his name at the bottom of the paper. "Thanks, Wynne." Wynne smiled. "Anytime." There was a knock at the door, and then Matt slipped inside. "Hey, I'm sorry, but my commanding officer is demanding to see my medical report." Trynt handed it over. "All signed. You're officially cleared for duty, Captain." He gave Matt a tight smile. "I'll give you two a minute," Wynne said, excusing herself. Matt walked behind the desk and sat on the edge. "Thank you. I know that wasn't easy." "It's my job," Trynt said pointedly, both upset and tense with the fear looming over their heads of Matt being shipped out. "I don't always have to like it." 151


"No, you don't, and neither do I." Matt sighed, giving Trynt an apologetic look. They fell silent for a moment then Trynt caught a gleam in Matt's eyes and suspected his husband wanted to cheer him up. "I've still got that RAF cap, if you're interested." Trynt raised an eyebrow in confusion, completely thrown and unsure why Matt had mentioned it. "Oh?" "Well, think about it." Matt gave his husband a wink. "I do believe you once said something about me wearing just that cap..." Trynt laughed as he remembered and broke into a full-on smile. "Oh, I'm definitely interested," he said huskily. Matt grinned and leant down to kiss his husband. "Tonight?" "Tonight," Trynt agreed, then stood and embraced Matt. He was upset with the situation, not Matt and he shouldn't be taking it out on him. "I'm sorry, Cariad, for being short. None of this is your fault. I'm just worried." "So am I. But we can't let it come between us," Matt said in concern. "You're absolutely right, and we won't." Trynt kissed Matt's temple to reassure him. He couldn't keep letting this affect them. It was going to happen, and it was out of their hands. Until it happened, he intended to make the most of his time with Matt. "No more worrying, I promise. I don't want it looming over us. We have this time, and I'm going to enjoy every minute with you," he swore, holding on to Matt and not wanting to ever let go. "We'll deal with everything else as it happens." 152


"Together," Matt promised, resting his head on his husband's chest. "Thank you." Trynt appreciated how his husband always knew how to make him feel better. "For what?" "Making me smile." Matt gazed at him. "I'd do anything to see it." He tucked the forms in his greatcoat pocket. "I needed to see you smiling before I go deal with this." Suddenly Trynt felt guilty about not being more supportive. He had been so worried about not having Matt around and dreading what could happen while he was away that he hadn't focused on what Matt was going through. He was going to leave his home, his family, and be thrown into battle. He knew how terrible it was, how hard it was to survive with less than even the basic necessities while there was devastation all around and no form of comfort. It was lonely, terrifying and downright awful. He made a silent promise to pamper, hug, kiss and show Matt just how special he was to him until they shipped him out. He deserved that and so much more. Trynt cupped his husband's face. "You'll do fine. And they're going to need you; you're the captain after all. You've led your men to victory plenty of times, and you can do it again," he said without a doubt. "I have that faith, and I'm so proud of you." Matt's eyes filled with gratitude, and Trynt knew he had said the right thing. "Thank you. You always know what to say." 153


Trynt stroked Matt's cheekbones with his thumbs. "I just realized I was being an idiot," he said, chagrined. "You're the one going into hell, not me. I should've been more supportive. You're going to fight so we can have that life we're dreaming of." "Yes, I am." Matt smiled, taking Trynt's hand and intertwining their fingers together. "And you are supportive, love. You're always there when I need you." Trynt smiled back. "So are you. But I haven't been about this. I've just been dreading the day and not wanting you to go when I should be telling you have much good you've done and will do because you're an amazing pilot and captain." "You think so?" Matt asked, and Trynt knew he was looking to him for hope and encouragement. "I know so." Trynt knelt so he was level with Matt. "You're a hero through and through. You've saved countless lives, including Kimi's, you make me feel brave, and you have a heart too big for this world," he said adoringly. "And as I said, I'm so proud that you're my husband." Matt's smile lit up the room. "Even if I make you worry and will probably give you gray hairs before you're forty?" "Even then," Trynt agreed. "And I only worry because I love you and don't want to be without you." "I know, Trynt. And I love you. I promise I'm going to make you so proud while I'm gone. And when I get home, we'll celebrate, because I can just feel that this war is coming close to a victory."

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Trynt wrapped his arms around Matt's neck. "That's what I love about you," he said quietly. "You give me hope and make me believe it really will end." "It will, and I'll come home," Matt promised, resting his forehead against Trynt's. "And I'll be right here waiting," Trynt promised and kissed his husband again. "I'm proud of you too, Trynt. You're the best doctor here and the most hardworking. My arm wouldn't have healed as well as it did without your care. Your compassion and care for others just makes me want to be better and do more," Matt said with affection. "And you give me the strength to keep going, and the comfort to hold on to when it all seems too much. I'm so lucky to have you." "Likewise." Trynt held his husband close, taking in the moment and feel of Matt against him. After a few minutes, he reluctantly pulled back. "Okay, go on and get that taken care of. The sooner you do, we can go home and you can show me that cap of yours." Matt kissed him soundly. "Only if you let me see what it looks like on you," he countered with a wink. "I suppose that can be arranged." Trynt grinned, eyes twinkling with amusement, and he stood with Matt. "I'll see you at home." "I won't be long," Matt told him. "Are you off soon?" Trynt looked at his watch. "Forty minutes and counting." Matt nodded. "I'll be as quick as I can, then."

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"Take your time," Trynt said, coming up with a plan to give them a wonderful evening. "I want to make you dinner and find some other simple ways to spoil you." "You don't have to—" Trynt stopped him with a kiss. "I want to," he insisted. "Please let me before you have to go." "All right." Matt pulled his husband close. "Thank you." Trynt smiled. "Anything for you." Matt kissed his husband once more, then left the office. **** Matt returned to Uxbridge and gave the report to Air Commander Jenkins. Then he was briefed on his next mission before he was dismissed and given leave for two days to prepare to be shipped out. He knew how dangerous it would be, he knew the risks, and yet he had to do his duty. Returning to his office, he wrote a letter that took him some time and left him feeling both guilty and upset, but it had to be done. He was determined to come home, to keep his promises to Trynt, but a great deal of what was going to happen was out of his hands. He had to leave Trynt something just in case, to give him closure and a good-bye if, God forbid, it came to that. Trynt wouldn't get his belongings. He doubted there'd even be a funeral that he could attend. This was the only way Trynt would have a piece of him after he was gone. Sealing the letter with a heavy heart, he went off to find Noel. To his relief, his friend was in the break room, alone. 156


Noel looked up with a friendly smile. "Hello, Matt, you back on duty?" Matt nodded glumly, then hesitantly withdrew the letter. It wasn't that he didn't trust Noel; it was that he was doing this, but it had to be done, he repeated to himself. "I have a favour to ask of you, Noel." "Name it," Noel said immediately. Matt handed him the letter. "You know I trust you... I have to take this precaution, just in case. I have every intention of coming home," he swore, determined. "But if something should happen, I need you to give this to Trynt. Can you do that for me?" Noel tucked the letter in his breast pocket, giving him an understanding and sympathetic look. "It'd be an honour, Matt. It means a great deal you trust me with this," he said honestly. "But you'd better come home. If Trynt feels half of what I know you feel for him, you'll destroy him if you don't." Matt scrubbed a hand across his face, tears stinging his eyes at the thought of breaking his husband because of this damned war. "Believe me, I know," he croaked, barely able to speak. "But it's just in case; you won't have to give it to him." "Good. You know I hate being the bearer of bad news. The last time I did, I was nearly slapped," he huffed in mock annoyance, and they both laughed. "Like you didn't deserve it for telling Eva's mom you couldn't marry her daughter with a war going on." Matt glanced at his watch. "Oh! I'm late, and Trynt had plans. I'd better go before he starts worrying." 157


Noel gave him an amused look. "You really do have it bad, don't you?" "Nothing bad about it," Matt said happily with a wink. "I've never seen you like this," Noel mused, regarding Matt. "You're happy, happier than you've ever been, even when you were with Eric. I didn't understand then, but I do now. He means to you what Eva means to me." "Yes." Matt felt the familiar pain of that loss for a moment, but then he remembered Eric fondly with his cocky grin and devil-may-care attitude, his green eyes sparkling with mischief as he told Matt one of his outrageous stories. "I miss Eric, and he was a good friend who meant a great deal to me... but Trynt"—he broke into a smile, his heart feeling lightened—"Trynt is the one, Noel. He's the one I'm meant to be with." "I'm happy for you," Noel said sincerely with a smile of his own. "I really am." "Thank you, Noel, for everything." Noel clapped his back as he gave him a brief hug. "Anytime. That's what friends are for, yeah? I know you'd do the same for me." "Of course, I would," Matt answered immediately. "I still appreciate it." "You can buy me a beer when you get home," Noel stipulated. "Consider it done." Matt grinned. "I'll see you again before I leave."

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Noel nodded, and Matt quickly left and headed home to Trynt, hoping that Noel would never have to deliver that letter to his husband. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-One By the time Matt got home, he had put everything aside and was focused on making the most out of the next two days. He intended to make Trynt as happy as possible in that time. Stepping through the front door, he slipped off his greatcoat as Trynt came into the hall. His white shirt had a smudge on it, his sleeves were rolled up, and his shoes were off, leaving him in his socks. It was a sight Matt loved to see every day when he came home and he broke into a smile. "Hey, beautiful," Matt greeted, pulling him in for a kiss. Trynt gave him a sweet smile. "Hey, gorgeous. Dinner's cooking, and Kimi's at her cousin's house. We're having lasagne, bread, and strawberries for dessert." Matt's stomach growled; those were all his favourite foods. He knew also what it had to cost his husband. He'd probably used a few extra ration coupons for the lasagne and strawberries, and he appreciated the pampering. "You spoil me, and that sounds delicious." "That was my intent. I want to give you a special night," Trynt said, then chewed his lip. "So, what did your commander say?" "I'm going on a mission in two days. I'm on leave till then," Matt told him, wishing he could've taken away the look of disappointment that fell across Trynt's face. "That soon?" Trynt asked sadly, then sighed. "I suppose I should've expected it. He's been waiting for you to recover." 160


Matt drew his husband into his arms. "I'd turn it down if I could, you know that." A look of guilt crossed Trynt's face as he cupped Matt's cheek. "No, Cariad, I meant everything I said earlier. You're needed and you have to do this, I understand. I'm sorry for getting upset again." "Don't be," Matt insisted, turning his face to kiss Trynt's palm. "It only shows me how much you love me." "I do, I love you so much." Trynt rested his forehead against Matt's. "Do you remember what you told me that night before you had to leave, when we first made love?" "No worrying about tomorrow. That that wouldn't be the first or last time we make love," Matt recalled fondly. "And I told you no thoughts about tomorrow. Right here right now is all that matters." Trynt brushed his lips to Matt's. "For the next two days, I don't want us to worry about you leaving. I just want to spend time with you, making you happy and showing you just what you mean to me." "Yes, just you and me. I'm already happy, but I do love it when you show me." He ran his hands across Trynt's back as he gazed at him. "Y'know, I was thinking if you call in sick tomorrow, we could just take the car and drive as far as we can without running out of petrol, maybe we could go out to the country? I could get some more petrol. I'll tell the commander I'm visiting family. We could find somewhere to just spend the day together, how does that sound?" "We could have a picnic," Trynt said excitedly as his eyes lit up. They'd never had the chance to go away together and 161


it was something they often talked about. "That'd be a perfect day." Matt smiled, pleased to see his husband had liked the idea. "I thought so too." "Until then I have a whole night planned out for you." Trynt's tone dropped into a lower, more intimate register. Matt pointed to his cap. "And look at what I'm wearing." Trynt laughed lightly but reached up for the cap. "Next time. Tonight I want my Matt, not the captain." "I'm all yours." Matt's throat felt tight as he swallowed the lump in his throat. Trynt removed the cap and hung it up. To everyone else besides Trynt, he was the captain; he'd built himself around his title. But Trynt had seen right through that persona to who he really was. It was one of the many reasons he adored his husband. "I love you." Trynt gazed at him in understanding. "I love you too." He slid his hand into Matt's. "C'mon, dinner's going to get cold." "And that would be a waste when you went to all that trouble." Matt followed him to the kitchen. "It was no trouble at all, not for you," Trynt said affectionately as Matt helped him set the table. He went and got the bread and lasagne while Matt poured the wine. "So, what's the plan tonight?" Matt asked, fingers brushing against Trynt's as he gave him a glass. "Dinner and dessert, followed by dancing in the lounge; then I'll give you a massage." Trynt looked at Matt from under his eyelashes. "And last but certainly not least, I'm going to make love to you." 162


Matt couldn't help but lean across the table and kiss Trynt. "How in the world did I get so lucky?" "I ask myself that every day," Trynt admitted, breaking the loaf of bread and giving Matt half. "I just know I must have done something right to deserve you." Matt put his hand over Trynt's. "You did plenty right. You saved my life that day we met, and I don't just mean what you did in surgery." Trynt's eyes were bright as he looked at Matt. "I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat," he said, letting Matt see the truth in his gaze. "You saved me too. No matter what happens, I cherish what you've given me, and you've no idea how happy you've made me." Matt slid his chair close so they could embrace. "Of course I do," he said, voice rough with emotion. "Because I feel the same, love." He pulled Trynt in for a deep kiss. "I promise you, you're going to be stuck with me for the rest of your life. I'm not done loving you or finding ways to make you happy, and I never will be." A tear slid down Trynt's cheek. "Not stuck with," he corrected, a smile on his lips. "I'm living happily with you and loving every moment." "Me too." Matt brushed away the tear as he cupped the back of Trynt's head, pulling him in for a deep and lingering kiss that left them both breathless. Trynt then served the lasagne, encouraging Matt to eat before they continued. The pasta was delicious, and they enjoyed it, sharing bites with each other even though their 163


meals were the same. They laughed, flirted and acted like they didn't have a care in the world. Matt leant over and stole an occasional kiss, always making sure that he and Trynt were touching, letting him feel his affection in his caresses and kisses. They both relaxed as they let it all go and focused on each other and how content they were together. After a dessert of strawberries, Trynt stood and led Matt to the lounge. He set Matt's favourite record on the gramophone, and soon the music of Vallee filled the air. "Dance with me?" Trynt asked, holding out his hand with a sweet smile that was reserved just for his husband. Matt slipped his hand into Trynt's. "Always." Trynt wrapped his arms around Matt's waist, pulling him close so there was no space between them. Matt wrapped his arms around Trynt's neck and gazed into his eyes, which were focused solely on him. Unguarded and so full of love, his ocean blue eyes took Matt's breath away, and he felt his heart skip a beat. He knew the moment couldn't get any more perfect. They swayed to the music until the record ended, lost in each other and content just to hold on and share soft kisses. Trynt rubbed the small of Matt's back. "How about a massage?" "You really are too good to me," Matt said in appreciation. "I told you tonight is all about making you feel good," Trynt reminded, leading Matt to their bedroom. Matt cupped Trynt's face in his hands and gave him a passionate kiss. "You make me feel good." 164


"That was my intent, and I haven't even started yet. It's going to get better. Much better," he promised with a seductive smile. Matt pulled Trynt flush to his body. "Oh, I have no doubts of that," he purred. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Two Kissing softly, they stopped beside the bed to remove their clothing and dump it in a pile on the floor. Trynt urged Matt back on the bed and crawled up beside him, pausing to admire the sight of his husband. "You're beautiful, Trynt." Matt stared at him, admiring him as well. He blushed a deep shade of red and gave Matt a loving look as his husband pulled him down for a kiss. "And you're gorgeous. Roll onto your front for me, Cariad," he instructed, reaching across into the nightstand for the massage oil. His husband did as he was asked. Trynt straddled his hips. "I'm going to kiss and soothe every inch of your body, and then I'm going to make love to you," he said, dropping into his lower and more intimate register. Matt moaned loudly, and Trynt saw that, though he had barely touched his husband, Matt was already hard. "God yes! You're amazing!" "So are you. Just relax and enjoy this." He kissed the back of Matt's neck, then left a trail of kisses down his spine. He then poured out the massage oil and warmed it in his hands before rubbing it into Matt's shoulders. He felt Matt's breathing hollow out and heard hums of pleasure as he eased away the tension. Working out every knot, ache and tight muscle he could find, he felt Matt sinking deeper into the mattress as he relaxed. He then moved to 166


Matt's lower back, repeating the process before dipping down and massaging Matt's arse. A gasp escaped Matt's lips and he writhed into the touch as Trynt's fingers teased his entrance and sac before moving down to knead Matt's thighs then his calves and finally his feet. Moving back onto his heels, Trynt rolled Matt over, and then moved up to kiss him with a tenderness that made Matt smile. "Feeling relaxed?" Trynt gave him a pleased smile as he ran his fingers through Matt's hair. "Completely," Matt said with a contented sigh. He kissed along Matt's jaw and down his neck, pausing to nip at the pulse point. He continued to trace his mouth down his husband's chest until he got to his nipples. He teased Matt's nipple with the tip of his tongue as it became a hard peak, then he nipped at it gently, making Matt gasp out loud before soothing it again with the flat of his tongue. He gave the other nipple the same attention. He smiled as he watched Matt shudder when he blew cool air over them. He felt Matt card his fingers into hair, as he moved his head down Matt's body toward his abdomen, kissing and nipping along the way. Matt was making small sounds of pleasure which brought another smile to Trynt's face. He licked Matt's navel, causing him to arch up. "Trynt I need more, please," Matt pleaded, not above begging with his husband. Trynt looked up at him through his eyelashes. "What do you want, Matt? This is all about making you feel good." 167


"Suck me, please!" Matt gazed at him, eyes nearly black with desire and need. "Oh, yeah. I want to taste you, Matt," Trynt purred and gave his husband a dirty grin. "You know I love to taste you." Matt arched up, clearly desperate for Trynt to touch him. "Guh, I love it when you say things like that." "I know." Leaving a love bite on Matt's hip, he planted a trail of kisses down Matt's cock, then licked from the root to the tip before taking the head in his mouth and licking the slit, tasting Matt's essence. "I want your beautiful mouth around my cock, Trynt!" Matt pleaded. "Patience," Trynt teased, eyes twinkling as he moved even lower to lave his husband's heavy sac before drawing one ball then the other into his mouth. "I have none, and you know it." Matt's voice hitched, then he cried out in pleasure as Trynt swiped his tongue across his husband's entrance. Trynt delved his tongue inside, tasting Matt. He moved his tongue in and out as Matt writhed and keened above him, begging for more. Trynt sat up slowly, letting his fingers continue to tease where his mouth had been. "Well, that's true, and you did behave at dinner..." He grinned and then swallowed Matt whole, causing Matt to cry out in surprise. "Yes, Trynt! Please...please," Matt murmured, at a loss for words at his heightened state of arousal. Hollowing his cheeks to take Matt all the way down his throat, he then began sucking hard. He knew just how to drive Matt to the edge using his throat, tongue, lips and the 168


light pressure of his teeth. Within moments he had Matt gasping and moaning even louder. Cupping Matt's balls with one hand, he stroked them before coating his fingers with the massage oil. He teased Matt's entrance, causing Matt to whimper. He slipped one finger slowly into Matt, who was already wet from the rimming, and watched as Matt's face contorted with pleasure. "So good!" Matt gasped, twisting his fingers into Trynt's hair. Matt couldn't control himself. Lost in the sensations, he began thrusting up into Trynt's mouth while trying to impale himself on his finger. Trynt held him down, his hand firmly pressed on Matt's hip, and then added a second finger into his tight entrance. "Gonna come!" Matt gasped and looked down at Trynt. They locked gazes as Trynt hummed, increasing the pace of his sucking and relaxing his throat, he wanted to taste his husband's essence and he knew it wouldn't be long. He loved making Matt lose control. He slid another finger into Matt, then brushed all three over his prostate, and Matt lost it. "Trynt!" He thrust upward into Trynt's mouth as he came, pulsing deeply into his husband's throat. Trynt swallowed his release eagerly, sucking him dry. Trynt watched Matt's orgasm play out across his face. He was completely lost in pleasure, and it was a beautiful sight seeing him undone because of what he had done. Matt was glistening in a sheen of sweat, debauched and stunning in his afterglow. Releasing Matt from his mouth and removing his fingers from Matt's entrance, he crawled up his husband's body. 169


Licking his swollen lips, he gazed at Matt before kissing him, letting him taste his essence in his mouth. Matt growled as Trynt stretched across him, holding and kissing him as he rubbed his rock-hard erection against Matt's thigh. Matt was still trembling, and Trynt whispered soothing words into his ear. "You okay?" he asked, slightly teasing and pleased that Matt looked so blissful and sated. Matt kissed him hard. "Yes, more than okay. That was mind-blowing." Trynt grinned, peppering Matt's face with kisses as he rocked against him. "What do you want now?" "I want you," Matt said without hesitation. "You have me. But what do you want me to do?" Trynt caressed Matt's cheek, wanting to hear Matt say what he wanted. Matt ran his hands down Trynt's back, and Trynt shuddered under his touch. "I want you in me. And I want to ride you." Trynt moaned and hungrily kissed him again. "God, yes!" "And after I come, I want you to you flip me over onto this mattress and pound me into it," Matt said huskily. "I want to lose myself in you, and I want you to do the same. Do you want that, Trynt?" "Yes, yes!" Trynt kissed down Matt's neck and began sucking and nibbling on the tender flesh, leaving a vivid love bite. "Mine," he growled. "Yours," Matt agreed, then rolled them so that he was on top. He kissed Trynt messily, tongues tangling together until 170


they broke apart, gasping. "Ready?" He reached for the oil as he straddled Trynt's hips. He slicked his hand and used it to coat his husband's cock. Trynt felt absolutely wanton splayed out across the bed, bucking into his hand as he let out a loud moan. "Yes, make love to me." Trynt hurriedly moved Matt and aligned them so that the tip of his cock was positioned at Matt's entrance. Slowly, Matt lowered himself onto Trynt's hard shaft, taking him in and having him so deep inside that they couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. Yet Trynt knew Matt controlled the pace and loved the look of pleasure that had Matt gasping as he filled him. Trynt was in heaven. The cool sheets under him and Matt's warm body on top provided a wonderful contrast. It felt so good to be surrounded by his husband's tight heat, like silk over steel. He locked gazes with Matt, and they kissed as their bodies adjusted to each other. "You're so deep in me, Trynt. Feels so good," Matt whispered against Trynt's lips. "You're so tight, I love you like this. Ride me," Trynt urged, accent thicker and passion-filled. He nudged Matt back upright. "God, you're stunning. Ride me hard." "And you're beautiful." Matt reached for his husband's hands. Intertwining their fingers, he began to move, using the combined strength of their powerful arms for leverage. "Gorgeous," Trynt breathed, struggling to remain still then all thoughts flew away as Matt rose up then sank back down on his cock. 171


Matt rode Trynt's cock with abandonment, moving up and down his shaft for some time with no thoughts but his own enjoyment. He threw his head back in ecstasy as Trynt increased his thrusts, planting his feet on the mattress so he could thrust up harder into Matt who let him know how good it felt. Watching Matt pleasure himself by riding him and seeing where their bodies joined was incredibly erotic for Trynt. Sweat trickled down's Matt's forehead; his body was flushed, his muscles were straining and flexing as he worked himself up and down, and his were eyes half closed. To Trynt, he couldn't have looked more perfect "God, you're beautiful like this." Trynt pulled Matt down for a hungry kiss. "So are you. I love you, Trynt," Matt whispered against Trynt's lips. Trynt nudged him back upright, and Matt lowered himself down on his husband's shaft. "I love you too, Matt. So much." He squeezed their intertwined hands. "So close, Trynt," Matt panted. "Need to come." Trynt moved their intertwined hands to Matt's cock and began stroking with a swift, sure motion. Matt arched into the touch and made a guttural sound as their fingers caressed his leaking cock. "Yes, just like that! Stroke me harder, make me come, please." "Come for me, love," Trynt said, increasing the tempo, their hands rapidly pumping Matt and working him furiously. "I want to see you come apart—to know it's my body doing that to you. Let me feel you." 172


"Yes! God! Yes!" Matt began to move faster, and Trynt knew his husband was so close to the edge. Matt guided Trynt's other hand with his own to his hip, and Trynt gripped tightly, the added pressure letting Matt fuck him even harder. "Trynt!" Matt's orgasm seized him suddenly, eyes screwing shut in pleasure he cried out and released his seed across his husband's chest and belly to Trynt's delight. Trynt milked Matt's cock until he was completely spent; then he let go. "God, Trynt!" Trynt's hands clenched Matt's waist to keep his husband upright as he nearly collapsed on his chest, but he dropped his hands onto Trynt's chest to prevent it. Trynt flipped them so that he was on top of Matt, giving Matt a messy kiss as he wrapped Matt's legs around his waist. "Not going to last long," Trynt admitted, giving Matt another kiss. "Don't care, just lose yourself in me." "Always," Trynt said with an affectionate smile. Matt reached up with one hand, grasping the headboard as Trynt pounded into him. He lost himself inside his husband, thrusting into him with all his might, working toward his release and gasping for breath. He was relishing every minute of being balls-deep in Matt, loving the sounds his husband was making as his thrusts hit Matt's sensitized prostate. "Matt, you feel so good," he said breathlessly. "You're perfect. I love being inside you." "Yes, so good..." Matt's hand gripped his husband's neck. "I love you being inside me." 173


Matt's body writhed beneath Trynt's, and he began keening his husband's name. That gorgeous sight, the feel of Matt clenching around his cock, the scent of sex, and the sounds of both their cries, sent Trynt into sensory overload. "I'm going to come, Matt!" "Do it, Trynt," Matt urged. "Fill me, I want to feel you. Please come for me." That was all Trynt needed to hear. "Matt!" He called out his husband's name as he pulsed his own release into Matt's willing body. He shuddered and gasped as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through him. Matt drew him down onto his chest before his arms gave out, his softening cock still inside his husband. For long moments, they lay together, covered in sweat and other fluids with chests heaving. Slowly, Trynt slid out. Both of them were still shaking as Matt drew Trynt into his arms. They kissed as they wrapped themselves around each, holding each other tightly and whispering tender words. "God you're amazing," Trynt breathed, as he rested his head on Matt's chest listening to his steady heartbeat. "So are you." Matt pressed a kiss to Trynt's hair as he stroked his back. "Thank you for everything tonight, love." "Anything for you," Trynt said with affection. "And I haven't even given you your gift yet." "Gift?" Matt asked in confusion. "For what?" "Tradition. I did it last time you had to go," Trynt reminded him, nearly saying, "And you came home." He turned over and reached into his nightstand, pulling out something wrapped in a light blue cloth. 174


Matt sat up as he took it from his husband. Unfolding it, he saw a small griffin made of silver. "Oh, wow..." Trynt sat up as well, resting his chin on Matt's shoulder. "I thought you could wear it with your dog tags." Matt reached into his nightstand to pull out the tags and slipped the griffin on the thin chain. "Perfect. Want to tell me what it means?" he asked, and Trynt was pleased that his husband knew he never gave him things randomly, that his gifts always had meaning. "In Celtic mythology, the griffin is a strong, noble, and virtuous creature that protects and guards life." Trynt curled his fingers over Matt's to hold the charm. "So, it'll keep me safe," Matt said in understanding, looking down at their joined hands. Trynt nodded. "I know it's silly to believe, but—" Matt pressed a finger to Trynt's lips, cutting him off. "It's not, not at all. And it means a lot to me that you gave me this." He gave Trynt a kiss. "Thank you." "You're welcome, though you don't have to thank me. Just come home," Trynt said quietly, trying to keep the waver out of his tone. "I will." Matt set the chain on the nightstand, then drew Trynt into his arms as they lay back down. Trynt rested his head on Matt's chest again as their limbs intertwined. Matt pulled the duvet around them and then pressed a kiss to Trynt's temple. "I promise I will." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Three Two days later, Trynt drove Matt to Uxbridge; he had been given orders to fly out that morning. Trynt had called in sick to work the day before, like they had planned, and he and Matt had driven to the country, spent the whole day in each other's arms making plans for when he returned. That night they had made love until the sun rose, said their good-bye in private and then headed off. Trynt pulled up to the base. "Here we are," he said, resigned. "I'll be back before you know it, love." Matt squeezed their intertwined hands. He turned toward his husband and nodded. "I know. Take care of yourself, Cariad," he said roughly. Fighting tears, he stared at Matt and tried to commit everything about him to memory, knowing it'd be a long time before they saw each other again. "I'll miss you." "I'll miss you too," Matt said quietly, fighting tears of his own. "Don't overwork yourself, all right?" He forced a smile, trying to be strong for his husband. He knew Matt didn't want to go or put him through this. "I'll do my best." "Remember our code, okay?" Matt ran his thumb over Trynt's knuckles. "'As Time Goes By.'" "Yes." Matt looked around; it was quiet and early with no one around. It was four a.m., after all, Trynt thought. Matt 176


leant across and kissed Trynt so softly he barely felt it. "I love you." Cupping Matt's face, Trynt pulled him in for another kiss, pouring his love into the kiss as he forgot where they were. "Dwi'n dy garu di." Matt gave him a fond smile. "I'm not going to say goodbye." Trynt smiled back, pushing away the wave of emotion as he kept himself together. "You'd better not," he managed to say through unshed tears. "You're coming home." "I promise," Matt swore. He hugged Trynt; then they broke apart. "You'd better go," Trynt urged, though it hurt to say it. "Make me proud." "Always." Matt reached across and caressed Trynt's cheek, touching him once more. He gazed at Trynt for a moment, and Trynt turned to press a kiss to Matt's palm, hoping to give him the strength he needed to leave. His husband pushed open the door and slowly got out of the car. He pulled his duffel bag from the back seat, gave Trynt a salute then sauntered off toward the gate, leaving Matt behind and becoming the captain once more. Trynt took a deep, calming breath as he started the car. He watched Matt until he couldn't see him anymore, then drove off. He was scared and worried but determined to remain positive. They could get through this; he was sure of it. **** 177


His shift didn't begin for another two hours, so Trynt drove home. Cadwyn met him as he opened the door; she whined and licked his hand and he rubbed her ears. "Hey girl," he greeted, smiling as she nuzzled close, seeming to sense his need for comfort. He hung up his coat, made a fresh pot of coffee, then settled down in the chair in the lounge with Emerson's poems. He was still reading when Kimi came out of her room. "Didn't go back to sleep?" she asked, running her fingers through her hair. "No point." He shrugged. "I wouldn't sleep." Kimi nodded and started to head to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. "Just so you know, if you start looking like a dead man walking, I will get a prescription from Lucy and drug you so you get some sleep," she threatened. Trynt chuckled. "What would I ever do without you?" Kimi squeezed Trynt's shoulder as she walked past him. Suddenly, they heard a frantic knocking on the door. Setting his book down, Trynt rushed to the door to find Wynne sobbing uncontrollably. "Trynt!" She threw her arms around his neck and he held her close. "What is it, Wynne?" Something had to be seriously wrong for his friend to be crying. She was normally composed and so strong that hardly anything got to her. "It's Evan," she gasped through her tears. "I found out he was shot. They patched him up in the field, but the bullet was too deep to extract. They're flying him over for immediate 178


care..." She pulled back and looked at Trynt pleadingly. "Could you help him?" Trynt reached behind him to grab his coat and steered Wynne out of the door. "You don't even have to ask. Let's go." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Four It was nearly four hours later when Trynt walked out of the theatre, pulling off his gloves and mask. It had been a touchand-go surgery; Evan had nearly bled out on the flight over, and it took two transfusions of blood to keep him stable until they could get him there. Trynt had been ready and wasted no time extracting the bullet, which had indeed been imbedded deep in the bone. He had repaired the damage to the best of his ability, dressed the wound and plastered Evan's arm with Lucy's help. It was going to be a long and rough recovery, but Evan was going to make it. Wynne was standing in the hall with her arms wrapped around herself tightly and her eyes red-rimmed. He had had to send her out because she had been unable to stay in control of her emotions. Not that he could blame her; he didn't want to think how he could've performed the surgery if it had been Matt. "Is he all right?" Wynne asked immediately stepping over to him. She swiped at her eyes and seemed to brace herself for the news. "He's going to pull through," Trynt assured her, then warned, "but we still have to be careful." "Thank you." Wynne pulled him in for a fierce hug and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Trynt." "You're welcome." Trynt kissed the top of her head. "But Wynne, I can't promise he'll have full mobility of his shoulder. He'll recover but may always have problems." 180


"I don't care. He's alive and that's all that matters. Can I see him?" "Well, you are his nurse, and he's going to need you," Trynt replied with a smile. "But he's still under anaesthesia, and I've given him morphine for the pain." Wynne nodded. "I'll sit with him till he wakes." "Let me know if you need anything, or if his condition changes." "I will. Thank you again for everything." Trynt handed her his handkerchief from his trouser pocket. "I'm just glad I could help and give you good news." Wynne wiped her eyes. "You saved his life." "It's what we do," he reminded her gently. "Still, I wouldn't have trusted or wanted anyone else to take care of my husband." Trynt blushed at the compliment, pleased that Wynne thought that highly of him as a surgeon. "You're welcome." He walked with Wynne to the room they were taking Evan to and afterwards went to get coffee. Matt had been gone only a few hours, but he missed him after the harrowing surgery and near loss of a friend. He wished his husband was near to provide some much needed comfort. At least the weight of Matt's flight wings in his pocket had been a welcome presence throughout the surgery. He sighed heavily and focused on the tasks of the day. **** Trynt made his rounds, then returned to check on Evan. He was awake and talking quietly to Wynne who smiled as he 181


walked in. Evan's robust and lanky form made him seem too big for the small cot bed, and he was propped up by some pillows. His complexion was still pale, his bright green eyes a bit dopey from the medicine, and pain filled his normally cheerful face, but Trynt knew his fellow Welshman would pull through. "How are you feeling, Evan?" he asked, approaching the bed. He checked Evan's temperature, felt his pulse, listened to his heart and examined the cast. "I'm not feeling much of anything, to be honest," Evan joked with a laugh. Trynt slung the stethoscope back around his neck. "Good, I wanted to be sure you weren't in pain. It's going to hurt for a while," he apologised. "I really appreciate everything, Trynt. I owe you my life." Trynt shook his head, not believing he was deserving of such credit. "No, that would be the medic who kept you stable till you got here. I just repaired the damage and removed the bullet." Wynne squeezed Evan's hand as she leant forward to brush his dishwater brown hair from his temple. "Trynt, it doesn't matter who did what we just appreciate what you did. Like I said before, there are very few surgeons with your skill, and I'm grateful that Evan had the best possible care." Trynt gave her a genuine smile. "I appreciate that, and you're welcome." He picked up the chart, making a few notes. "You should be able to go home in a few days. The cast will be on for six to seven weeks, followed by recovery. But"—he set the chart down and looked at Evan as he broke the news 182


to his friend—"to be honest, I doubt you'll ever be able to properly handle a rifle again. It is going to be my medical opinion that you be discharged honourably from service." Evan gave him a weary sigh. "I'd be lying if part of me wasn't relieved, mate. It was hell out there, and I don't want to go back," he admitted. "But at the same time, I want to help end this war. It's been going on long enough." "I agree and I'd recommend you do what I did, Evan. Find some other way to help," he suggested, understanding Evan's desire to want to help put an end to the war. He suddenly had a thought. "You used to drive lorries, right? They could always use drivers on the base for getting supplies. That could be an option to consider." Evan smiled. "That's a brilliant idea," he agreed. "I'll definitely consider that once I'm well." "I'll let you get your rest, then. And if you need anything, just let me know. I'll be here all day." "Did Matt leave?" Wynne asked suddenly, then gave him an apologetic look. "God, I'm sorry, I didn't even realise..." "It's all right." Trynt brushed it off. "I had just come back from dropping him off at the base when you showed up." Wynne got up and hugged him. "He'll be back before you know it, sweetheart." Trynt nodded, unable to speak as he stared for a moment at Evan lying injured in the bed, trying to get rid of the image of his husband lying there instead. "I sure hope so," he finally managed to say. "If you'll excuse me, Lucy has a surgery."

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Wynne kissed his cheek. "Dinner at our house when Evan is discharged," she told him, and he knew it was her way of thanking him. Trynt squeezed her arm. "I'll be there." He looked over at Evan. "Take care of yourself." Evan grinned. "I will, thank you again, Trynt." "You're more than welcome," Trynt replied before leaving the room. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Five Two weeks later, Trynt was sitting at his office desk, writing up a chart. He was burying himself in work and forcing himself to sleep while again Kimi kept him up to date. Under the pretense of being Matt's doctor, which was code in itself, he had written his husband to inquire of his health. Though he hadn't received a letter back, he was certain it was due to long delays in post delivery. There was a knock on the door. "Come in." Kimi entered the room and the look on her face said it all. He knew that look all too well working here. "Trynt—" Trynt stood quickly, feeling as if his whole world was crashing down around him. "No! Don't say it, Kimi," he pleaded, voice hitching. "Don't, please!" Not Matt. God please not my Matt. Kimi's eyes filled with tears as she handed Trynt a slip of paper. He skimmed over it. Matt had gone missing in action two days prior, and though searches had been made, there was no sign of him. He was presumed dead, but they were still searching. He choked back a sob as his stomach twisted. His heart shattered as he reread the paper once more, not wanting to believe what he had just read. "I checked and got the report to be certain," Kimi said sadly. "A fellow pilot saw his plane go down, but he wasn't sure if Matt got out." 185


"No," Trynt whispered. He crumpled the paper and tossed it away. "He's still alive! I just know it, Kimi. He wouldn't leave me." He refused to believe Matt was gone. "He's out there somewhere..." "Of course he is," Kimi agreed without hesitation, and Trynt saw in her eyes that she believed it. "And he'll find his way home." "But what if he's hurt?" Trynt couldn't stop the image of Matt lying broken and bleeding in a field from plaguing his vision. "Why aren't they doing more? It's been two days. They should have found him by now!" He slammed his hand on the desk. "Damn it! I hate this. I should be able to go down there and demand they do everything for my husband, but I can't," he nearly shouted in frustration. "This is my life, and I can't do a damn thing because of this screwed up society!" "I know, Trynt." Kimi was sympathetic. "It's unfair, but I promise I'm going to use what weight I have to help." "Thank you." Trynt felt ill as another thought hit. "Oh God, what if he's been captured?" That thought chilled him to the bone, and he had to lean over the wastebasket as he threw up his lunch. Kimi stepped over and rubbed his back. "Easy... Matt knows how to get out of things like that," she reassured in a soothing tone. "I've seen it before—when he rescued me. But I don't think that's the case. We would know. And Trynt, no one there knows who he is; they would only want him as a POW." "That's bad enough." Trynt pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and Matt's flight wings fell to the floor. He knelt 186


and picked them up. "Oh God, Matt..." The dam burst, and he lost it, tears streaming down his face as sobbed uncontrollably for his husband. Kimi pulled him into her arms, letting him cry as she made soothing sounds and held him close. "He'll come home," she comforted, "Don't give up hope." "He promised," Trynt whispered brokenly, fingers curled tightly around the wings that he could feel digging into his palm. His cries turned to hiccups as he tried to take deep breaths to calm himself. "And he always keeps his word," Kimi said quietly, her tears mixing with Trynt's. "He'll come home." "He has to... I wouldn't know what to do without him." Trynt pulled back and roughly wiped his eyes. He wasn't going to give up. Matt wouldn't want that. "I'm sorry for falling apart like that," he said, though he knew Kimi didn't care. "Don't be. It's what I'm here for." Kimi kissed his cheek. "I wish I could stay, but I have to get back to work. Are you going to be okay?" "I'm going to say I'm ill and go home," he decided, "I won't be any use today, not like this." Kimi nodded after regarding him for a moment. "All right, I'll see you at home." Trynt stood and gathered his things. "Let me know if you hear anything else." "You know I will," she assured him. "Thank you, Kimi," Trynt said as he gave her a sad smile. 187


"I'm sorry it wasn't good news, but I thought you should know right away." Kimi paused with her hand on the door. "I want him home too, Trynt." "I know, and I'm not going to give up hope that he'll make it back. It is Matt, after all." He tucked the wings in his breast pocket, close to his heart. Kimi smiled in agreement. "Which is why I have no doubts." "Neither do I," Trynt said, having faith in his husband but not the situation. Trynt hugged her once more as they left the office. He went in search of Wynne and approached her as she left a patient's room. "Trynt, is everything all right?" She gave him a worried look. Trynt shook his head. "I need a favour, Wynne. Can you tell Aston I'm ill and need to go home? I can't be here right now." Not in the place Matt and I met, he thought. "What's happened?" Wynne put her hand over his arm. Trynt bit his lip to fight back tears. "Matt's gone MIA," he managed to say. Wynne's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh God! How long?" "Two days," he uttered, tears filling his eyes. "I'm so sorry." Wynne hugged him. "Go home, I'll cover for you. Take it easy. If I know Matt he's on his way back as we speak." "Thank you and I hope so." Trynt started walking away when Ben strolled down the hall. "Where are you going, Andrews?" 188


"Home," he said simply, turning away from Ben. "What bloody for?" Ben questioned. "It's none of your business, Parker," Trynt snapped, in no mood to deal with the other man. "Leave me alone." "You were fine earlier. Did you get news?" Ben asked, and Trynt was surprised to hear that the other man actually sounded concerned. "Did something happen to—" Trynt span around and pointed his finger at Ben, who visibly recoiled at the glare that was shot his way. "Don't you speak of him. Don't." Ben held up his hands in apology. "Andrews, I'm a prat I know that. I may not accept your...choices...but I'm not heartless. I'm sorry if anything happened." He sounded sincere. "He's MIA," Trynt said hoarsely. "Now please, leave me the hell alone!" he nearly shouted as he stormed off. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Six Trynt walked around a bit, not wanting to go home to their flat where Matt's things were everywhere. He wandered aimlessly through the streets. The cold December air was biting through his coat; he ignored it and pulled up his collar. It was almost Christmas, but there were no decorations anywhere; it was all as dull and dreary as he felt. People kept their heads down and went about their business; no one was celebrating. Not there is much to celebrate, he thought bitterly. After a while, frozen and depressed, he decided he should be home waiting for news and, a tiny hopeful part of him thought, waiting for Matt. Trynt stepped into the flat and hung up his coat. Matt's spare jacket was hanging there. He lifted it off the rack and held it to his face. Fresh tears fell as he breathed in the faint but unmistakable smell of his husband. When there were no tears left, he turned and gathered the mail from the floor, where it had fallen through the slot. He quickly sorted through the letters, and his heart skipped a beat as he looked at the last one. A letter from Matt. It was postmarked sent a week ago. "Oh God...why now?" he choked out. He set the mail on the sideboard, then headed to the lounge, letter in hand. He went to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a tumbler, then poured himself a scotch. Throwing 190


it back quickly, he was pleased to feel it burn his throat. He poured another glass and took it over to the settee. Cadwyn jumped up and rested her head in his lap as he sat. He petted her for a moment, then opened the letter. He unfolded the single sheet of paper revealing Matt's elegant scrawl. Taking a sip of the scotch, he read the letter: Dear Doctor Andrews, I truly appreciate your concern. I wouldn't be saving lives out here if it weren't for your excellent care and amazing abilities as a doctor. You have my deepest gratitude for that. I'm doing quite well, and my arm is giving me no problems. I'm flying circles around my men. Anyone would be proud. Or at least I hope so Though I do miss home. As a fellow soldier I know you can relate. I miss my bed, my flat and a hot meal with my family. I miss the comfort and love I always find there. This may sound odd, but what I miss most is my favourite song, "As Time Goes By." It's a beautiful song that truly has become a part of my heart and is a melody in my head. I find myself thinking of it often and humming the chords. How I miss dancing to its sweet melody. Just hearing it would make me smile. I cannot wait to return home, it'll be the first thing I listen to... and I know it'll be in my dreams tonight... I must go, my men need to be looked after and it's up to the captain to be sure they rest and eat before we are sent to patrol to the skies. Thank you again for you concern. Captain Matthew Jackson Trynt had thought he couldn't cry anymore, but sobs wracked his body as he curled into himself, clutching the 191


letter in his hand. He threw the tumbler at the nearby wall, watching it shatter like his heart. "This isn't fair!" he cried out angrily. Cadwyn let out a whine and pawed him. Trynt wrapped an arm around her and buried his face in her neck, fingers tangling in her thick fur. He needed Matt. He needed to know if he was alive. He had never hurt like this, never felt so broken inside. He wanted his husband to walk through the door, draw him in his arms and soothe away the pain. But what if he never came home? What was he going to do without Matt? Sniffling, he let go of Cadwyn and went to get his journal from the nightstand. He needed to write out his thoughts and feelings, as they all seemed to tangle together, crushing him from the inside out. He tucked the letter in the journal pocket and reverently ran his fingers over a photo of Matt dressed in his RAF uniform that was tucked inside. Grabbing his fountain pen, he flipped to a blank page then began writing. December 20, 1944 Matt is Missing in Action. I feel like part of me has died. My heart broke as Kimi told me the news earlier. I know the statistics. I know his chances are low. It pains me to know he could be out there in that mess of a battle, hurting, and I can't do a thing. That kills me, and I wish there was a way to take his place. I'd gladly do it to ease his suffering. And what if he's been captured? I've heard the horrifying and sickening rumours of what the Germans have done. It makes me sick to even think that, so I have to stop that train 192


of thought. I can't let myself think of what they would do to my beautiful Matt. I'll never sleep again if I do. No, he's too clever and well trained to let that happen. Five days from Christmas... I already knew we wouldn't get to spend it together, but this is just wrong. He should be here with me, buying a tree and presents, drinking eggnog in front of the fire, making love under the lights and laughing in the snow. Instead he's missing. What if he's cold and hungry? This is killing me, not knowing anything. I need to know if he's all right, but there's no way of knowing. And if I went down there, I'd expose us, which would ruin everything. If it's not already ruined. I wish I could hold him again. Damn the war, I would never let him go. I'd keep him here with me and lock him in our room where we said our vows. That was the best night of my life. I'll never forget the look in Matt's eyes as he said those words. I'll never forget how amazing it was to make love to him afterwards, our bodies joined and hearts beating as one He has to be all right, he just has to. I feel so alone right now. I miss him. I miss his smile. I miss my friend, lover, and husband. The one my heart and soul confides in. I just want him to hold me again. I want to feel safe and loved as he looks at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. He's my husband and I have to hope that he will find his way home. I do, despite how I feel. A tiny voice that sounds just like him—God, I miss his voice—keeps telling me he made a promise and he'll keep it. I know he loves me and there's not a thing he wouldn't do. But he is just a man, and 193


this war is destroying everything. I know I will never be whole again if he doesn't return. I know I will never love like this again; I was counting on forever with Matt, because he gave me that hope. He made me believe it, and I want it. I want just him and no one else. I need us to be together, so I'm going to wait for him for as long as it takes. I'm not going to give up hope. He wouldn't want me to, and I will keep that promise to him. Trynt shut the journal and wiped his eyes. "I'll wait for you, Matt," he promised aloud, and then got to his feet to take a shower. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Seven Matt came to with a pained groan; his head was throbbing, his chest hurt and he was freezing cold. Slowly, he opened his eyes as the pieces of the past few hours came flooding back. His Spitfire had been torn apart by weapon fire. He'd taken out all five Messerschmitts, drawing them away from his men, before he was forced to jump as his plane dived down. The landing was rough, and he had hit his head on something, blacking out until now. Looking at his surroundings, he saw he was completely alone in a snowy field and there didn't appear to be civilisation for miles. He had no way of signalling for help— wasn't even sure they were looking for him, since he had no idea how much time had passed. He fumbled for his pocket watch in his uniform pocket and saw that though it was dented it still worked. The watch made him think of Trynt, who was waiting for him to come home. He couldn't give up or just wait for rescue. Ignoring the pain, he pushed himself to his feet after assessing his injuries. He was certain he had a concussion and cracked ribs, but he could walk. Looking up at the full moon and stars, he used them to figure out where north was, then headed in that direction. A camp of men would be in that direction, though he wasn't sure how long he'd have to walk. It didn't really matter; he had to keep moving. Wrapping his arms around himself and wishing he had his greatcoat, he stumbled forward and put one foot in front of 195


the other with more strength than he thought he possessed. He knew thoughts of his husband would give him the will to keep going, so he thought of him as he walked. He knew judging by the time that had passed that a report of him being MIA had been made and Kimi would have it. His husband was probably already mourning him, yet denying it, if he knew Trynt, and refusing to give up hope that he would come home. He wasn't going to let him down. He lost track of time, and the night slowly faded away. Around dawn he heard a platoon marching down the road he was following. He quickly hid in an embankment. Weaponless and injured, he'd be an easy target for the Germans, and he wasn't about to be a POW. To his relief he saw they were Allied troops, and he jumped up. "Help!" he called out, rushing over to them, his exhaustion catching up with him. "I'm Group Captain Matthew Jackson of the 12th Squadron." A man with the Red Cross band around his arm stepped forward and caught him. "Easy, Captain. What's happened?" "My plane went down, I was lost... Started walking to keep warm and find help. Guess today is my lucky day," he said in relief. "I'll take good care of you," the medic assured in an American drawl, having him sit on the ground as he assessed Matt's injuries and examined him. He turned to his ranking officer, who was barking out an order to go back for an army jeep and ordering one of the men to give the captain his coat.

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Matt took the coat gratefully as the medic shone a torch in his eyes. "Mild concussion and cracked ribs; you'll be all right with rest. Let's get you back to camp." Matt rubbed his head tiredly. "I just want to go home." "Someone special waiting for you?" the medic asked in understanding. "Very special and everything to me," Matt answered with a small smile. "Then hang on and you'll be home before you know it." The medic helped him to his feet, and before Matt knew it, he was in a jeep heading back to camp. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Eight It was Christmas Eve, but it certainly didn't feel like it. Trynt was lounging on the settee with Matt's book and a glass of whiskey. Kimi was spending the night with family. Though she hadn't wanted to leave him, he'd insisted she go and have a good time. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts and just grieve. He still he didn't know where Matt was. Four days had passed since Matt had gone MIA and Trynt felt like he was looking at everything from a distance, while his body was on auto pilot. There had been no news of Matt, and with each day, a little hope died inside of him. He became numb, and he couldn't find it in himself to care about anything. Nothing mattered anymore; his life was in limbo as he waited for news. It hit him that with so much time that had passed, Matt might not come home. They'd never gotten a chance to celebrate Christmas, and now they never would. He jumped to his feet and scrambled to the door as he heard the buzzer. He was waiting for news, for Matt, anything that'd give him the hope he needed. He opened the door to find Noel, Matt's close friend, and his heart sank to his feet. "Noel?" he asked fearfully. "Is it Matt?" Noel reached into his pocket and withdrew a letter. "I'm truly sorry, Trynt. They've been searching for him, but there's no news. I'm here because he asked me to give you this if..." He trailed off. "If he didn't make it home, he wanted to say good-bye." 198


Trynt reached out for the letter, heart shattering as everything faded away and narrowed down to that envelope. Taking it meant Matt was gone, that the tiny hope he had was just ripped away, and he fought not to sob uncontrollably. His hand grasped it, and he found it hard to breathe as he stared at Matt's scrawl of his name. "Oh God... I..." Noel squeezed his shoulder, eyes full of sadness. "I'm so sorry," he apologised again. "Matt was my best friend. He'll be missed... I'll leave you alone." Trynt couldn't speak, but Noel understood and just walked away. Trynt shut the door, then his legs gave out and he sank to the floor, holding the letter tightly, nearly crumpling it. Though his tears, he realised this and smoothed it out. If these were truly Matt's last words to him, he wasn't about to ruin them. With shaking hands, he opened the letter and took out the folded papers. He swiped at his eyes and began to read: My Trynt, Please don't be upset with me for doing this. I had to take the precaution, love. You deserve at least a good-bye if I don't make it home. I know you'll be denied all the other rights you should be given as my husband. Try to be sure Kimi gets our watch if you can, but don't take any risks. I hope you never have to read this. I hope it's just me being scared because I know the mission is going to be dangerous and I've never had so much to lose. You know, for a brief moment I thought of going AWOL and running away with you to some corner of the world that the war hasn't 199


touched. I wish I could've done that. I'd anything for you, you know that, don't you You're everything to me, and there aren't enough words to say how much I love you. Deciding to come home with you that day was the best decision I ever made. I lost my home when Dad and Mikey died, I drifted for so long, lost, alone and unsure of who I was. Then I met you and everything changed. I found where I belong is in your arms. I know I'll never be lonely because of you. And I've never been more sure of who I am. The man who lives to love you and would die to keep you safe. I want you to know, Trynt, every moment with you was a moment worth dying for. You made me that happy and gave me all I've ever wanted. I'm so sorry if I don't make it home, so very sorry. The one thing I never wanted to do was hurt you. I hate the thought of you in pain because of me. I'm supposed to take that away, be there to comfort you. I wish I was, Cariad. I know my world would end if you weren't in it, and I'm so sorry for doing this to you Don't mourn me forever. I don't want you alone, even if I can't think of someone else making you smile, holding you and loving you. So don't hesitate if love comes your way again, I want that for you. I'd ask you not to forget me or what we shared, but I know you never will. I know I will always be in your heart. I know I will never be forgotten because of you, and that's good enough for me I love you, Trynt, with all that I am and to my very last breath. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful life. Take 200


care of yourself, love. Know that I'm there with you, I always will be. Forever yours, Matt Clutching the letter and unable to see through the tears, Trynt let himself cry, deep heart-wrenching sobs that were torn from his body until there was nothing left and he felt completely drained. He stumbled to his feet and carefully put away the letter in his nightstand then headed to the kitchen. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and drank straight from it, ignoring the burn as it went down his throat. It hurt too much to think of being alone without his husband, and the alcohol was drowning out the pain. It was drowning out everything. All he wanted was to forget and pretend that this was one of his horrible nightmares. He'd wake and Matt would be there to comfort him and reassure him that it was just a dream. Knowing that it wasn't, he collapsed on the settee, intending to drink until he passed out. Nothing mattered anymore. Matt was gone and he had no idea how he was supposed to go on without him. He knew that he would never love like this again and there was no one else he wanted. Drinking down the rest of the whiskey, he stretched out across the cushions—trying to remember Matt smiling and laughing—as he gave into exhaustion and the alcohol. **** The next morning, Trynt had a hell of a headache, felt worse and was still longing for Matt to just show up, even 201


though he now thought it was impossible. But he still wanted to deny that Matt was truly gone. All he wanted this Christmas was for a miracle to happen and for Matt to come back and give him back the will to live. He groggily poured a cup of coffee and barely noticed as it nearly scalded his tongue. He set it down and ran his fingers through his messy hair. "Merry Christmas." Kimi was cheerful as she wandered in. "Merry Christmas," Trynt replied dully, rubbing his aching thigh. He shouldn't have slept on the couch, but he couldn't sleep in their bed either. "You're a wreck," Kimi said with both concern and worry. "My husband is gone," Trynt snapped, then instantly felt guilty. Kimi didn't deserve that. "I'm sorry, Kimi. I didn't mean to snap." "It's all right; I know you didn't mean it. But Trynt, you need to pull yourself together. This isn't doing you any good," she pointed out in a gentle and soothing tone. "What's the point?" Trynt threw up his arms in defeat. "Nothing matters without him." Kimi walked over and hugged him. "Oh Trynt, I'm sorry. I've been trying to do all I can." Trynt sighed regretfully at upsetting his friend. "Kimi, it's not your fault, and I appreciate all you're doing. But it was killing me not knowing. I needed to know either way. Whether I should grieve or hope, fall apart or keep it together. Then last night I got Matt's letter from a friend, and I'm falling apart," he said brokenly. "What letter?" Kimi asked in confusion. 202


"Matt's good-bye if he didn't come home," Trynt managed to say, throat tight with emotion. "I refuse to believe he's gone. We don't know for sure yet." "But it's been nearly five days." Trynt choked back a sob. "There's no way—" "Stop it!" Kimi shook him. "I don't care how long it's been. I'm not giving up and neither should you. You need to keep it together and you may not like me saying this, but what if he's hurt Trynt? What if they bring him here and you can't care for him because you're a wreck?" she questioned and the words sank through to Trynt. He didn't trust anyone else to care for Matt. "He needs you to be strong, because I just know he's trying to get home." "I hate it when you're right sometimes," Trynt said in mock annoyance, then turned serious. "I want to believe that, Kimi, I really do." Kimi gave him a small smile. "That's just because I always am. Now, please go bathe and clean up. I want you to believe it, put that letter out of your head for now and think about him coming home." "Yes, ma'am." Trynt kissed her temple, so grateful for the tiny bit of hope she had given him. "Thank you for taking care of me." "It's what friends are for," she said with a sweet smile. "And you're the best." "You're not so bad yourself." Kimi pushed him toward the hall. "Go. Matt is going to be dirty and hungry when he gets home. I don't need two of you to deal with." She pretended to huff. "I'm going to make you breakfast before I go to work." 203


"I owe you one." "Yes you do," Kimi replied with a nod, and they laughed lightly. "And you know what I like." "Sushi, erotic poetry and cute soldiers?" Trynt teased good-naturedly. Kimi pointed at him and gave him an amused look. "Matt has rubbed off on you." "In more ways than one." Trynt winked. For a second, everything felt normal. And then it hit him again. "I miss him..." "I do too," Kimi said, sadness filling her eyes. "Who knew the flat could be so quiet?" "I didn't... I can't believe it's Christmas." He sighed and leant back against the counter. "I hope you understand I don't feel like celebrating." "Of course I do. Do you want me to tell Wynne, Evan and Lucy not to come?" Trynt shook his head. "No, the plans have already been made. It's all right. I don't want to be alone anyway, even if I'll be terrible company." Kimi gazed at him, waiting for him to look at her. "You're not alone," she stated. Trynt forced a smile. "I know." "Hang on." Kimi ran her to her room and returned with a small gift wrapped in pale blue paper. "I think you should have this." "What is it?" Trynt asked curiously.

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"Matt left it for me in case he wasn't here for Christmas," Kimi told him, handing him the small package. "He'd want you to have it." Tears filled Trynt's eyes as he ran his fingers over the present. "Do you know what it is?" "No, but he said it was important that you have it." Kimi squeezed his arm, then smiled reassuringly. "Maybe you should open it? It might make you feel a little better." Trynt couldn't speak and just nodded before wandering to the bedroom. Setting the gift on the nightstand, he took a shower and shaved. He dressed halfway before sinking down on the bed, debating whether to open the gift. Suddenly, he heard a pounding on the door. Throwing on his shirt, he ran down the hall and pulled it open, hoping against hope that it was good news or, better yet, Matt himself. It was Christmas after all; surely miracles could happen? [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Nine Matt had gotten home as fast as possible, pulling his rank and using his injuries as reasons to get there. When really what he wanted was to be with Trynt on Christmas. He hated the thought of his husband being alone today of all days. It'd taken a while, but he'd rushed home from the base, barely stopping to give his report. He only wished he hadn't lost his key so he could get in. Trynt opened the door, letting out a strangled cry as he saw Matt standing there, battered and bruised but very much alive. Matt gave him a big smile. Trynt's stunned expression showed how surprised he was, which was just what he was hoping for. He wanted this to be a happy surprise so they could celebrate together. "Merry Christmas, beautiful. Did you miss me?" "Oh thank God, Matt!" Trynt said in utter relief. Matt dropped his bag as he stepped in and met Trynt's embrace, hugging him tightly as their lips met in a tender and loving kiss. Trynt closed his eyes and melted against Matt, arms wrapping around his strong body as he kissed him back desperately until they both pulled apart breathless. Matt could feel the relief coming off of Trynt in waves as his husband clung to him, so he ignored the ache in his ribs. "Thought I'd lost you," Trynt cried, struggling to speak as tears filled his eyes. 206


"Never." Matt cupped Trynt's face and kissed him again, driving the point home. "Never." "Are you all right?" Trynt choked out. "Just a cracked rib or two," Matt assured, stroking Trynt's cheek. "I'm just fine." Trynt pulled back and checked him over. "Why didn't you send word that you were coming home? I've been going out of my mind with worry!" he shouted, but his anger deflated as he clung to his husband. "Noel gave me that letter, and I completely lost it." "Wait, what? I'm sorry it took so long, but once they sent the message, I thought you wouldn't worry," Matt said in confusion, upset that Noel had given him the letter and that Trynt seemed so scared. "Though I did everything I could to get home today, I didn't want us to be apart." Trynt raised an eyebrow in surprise. "What message?" The pieces fell into place as Matt realized the miscommunication and took in Trynt's dishevelled state and the dark circles under his eyes. "You didn't get it, did you?" Trynt shook his head and Matt swore. "I told them to send a message to Kimi to tell her I had been found. You didn't know, love? How long have you been waiting?" "Five days." Trynt reached out to touch Matt, tracing his fingers over the cut above his eye as if he were afraid Matt might vanish. "I thought I'd never see you again. I've been waiting every day for news," he choked out as tears fell. "I was a mess last night after Noel showed up..." "Oh God, Trynt. I'm so sorry." Matt pulled him even closer, feeling horrible as he saw the heartbreak in his husband's 207


eyes. He couldn't imagine what he must have gone through waiting and having days pass without knowing. It was no wonder he thought the worse. He gently wiped away Trynt's tears. "I'm so sorry." Trynt grabbed Matt, burying his face in his husband's neck and breathing in his scent. "You're here now, it doesn't matter. You're alive." Matt peppered Trynt's faces with soft kisses. "I'm here. I'm home. And I'm not going anywhere." Trynt pulled back and gazed at him. "Promise? I can't do this again, Matt," he confessed, overcome with emotion. "It nearly killed me; I've never hurt so much." Matt's tears fell at the pain laced in Trynt's voice. "I promise. I'm not going anywhere." He caressed Trynt's jaw. "What can I do to make it better?" he asked, wanting to do anything he could to take away his husband's pain. "I didn't want to hurt you." "You didn't hurt me, and it's not your fault," Trynt stated, letting Matt see he didn't blame him. "I just was worried and scared that I'd lost you forever." He wrapped his arms around Matt's neck tightly, refusing to let him go. "But you're home...." He kissed Matt again just because he could. "I just needed you, everything's fine now. All I wanted was you home for Christmas. I was terrified that you were hurt, lost or had been captured," he admitted with an uncontrolled shudder. "And each day that went by made it worse. I didn't want to believe you were gone." "I'm here." Matt rested his forehead against Trynt's as they kissed. "Right here, right where I belong." 208


"I missed you so much," Trynt breathed against his husband's lips. "Missed everything about you." "I missed you too." Matt held him close, comforting and soothing his husband with soft caresses and kisses. "I'm sorry, so sorry I put you through this. I should've made them get me home sooner, and I should've never written that letter." "No," Trynt disagreed, gazing at Matt with tears in his eyes. "It was beautiful, and it meant so much to me. I just didn't want you to say good-bye. I didn't want you to be gone forever; there is no life for me without you, Matt." "Feeling's mutual." Matt caressed Trynt's cheek, wiping away his tears. "No more good-byes, I'm never leaving you again," he promised, tone soothing. "I'm yours forever." "And I'm yours. Can you tell me what happened?" Trynt asked in a near whisper. "Ease my mind that it wasn't as terrible as the scenarios in my head." "Of course." Matt kicked the door shut with his foot. "C'mon, let's go sit on the settee." Trynt took Matt's greatcoat off. "Let me see first. I need to see that you're all right." Matt kissed his husband as they went and sat on the settee, understanding his husband's need. Trynt unbuttoned Matt's shirt with shaking hands, then opened it to reveal his broad chest covered in bandages and bruises. Matt stayed silent, letting Trynt reassure himself as his husband ran loving fingers over his sore and bruised skin then placed gentle kisses everywhere before moving up Matt's neck to his face where he kissed him lovingly, Matt returned the kiss trying to 209


take away all the pain and replace it with comfort as he stroked Trynt's back. "You're so beautiful," Trynt whispered. He cupped Matt's face as he kissed the cut over his eye and traced the one along his cheek. "Duw, Matt... I'm so glad you're all right." Matt pulled Trynt into his arms. "I'm just fine now that I'm with you." "Likewise." Trynt tucked his head under Matt's chin as he wrapped his arms loosely around Matt's waist hesitantly, likely fearing hurting him but wanting to hold on and that was just what Matt needed. He watched as Trynt listened intently to the steady beat of his heart. Matt threaded his fingers through Trynt's hair kissing him now and again as he felt the tension and fear leave his husband. Trynt looked up at him, seeming to suddenly realise something. "Why didn't you use your key?" Matt chuckled, wondering if Trynt was going to ask that question. "I lost it when I got injured but..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the pocket watch. "It still works. Has a dent, though." Trynt put his hand over Matt's. "What happened, Cariad?" Matt sighed heavily. "I took out five Messerschmitts this time before I was hit. I got out again, just in time, but I hit my head during the explosion and was knocked unconscious. I woke up, and it was so cold and dark." He shuddered, and Trynt intertwined their fingers as he kissed Matt's neck. Matt buried his face in Trynt's hair for a moment, relishing the warmth and comfort of his husband. "I knew I had to keep moving so I set up off toward what I thought was the base 210


camp. Luckily it wasn't snowing and the moon lit my way through the fields until I found a platoon. They took me back to base where I got medical care and was ordered home to rest and recover. I had to wait for the boat back, or I'd have been home sooner. I'm so sorry, love." Trynt pressed another kiss to Matt's collarbone. "It wasn't your fault," he repeated. "You tried letting me know. I wish I had received the message, but all that matters is you're all right." Matt tilted Trynt's face up and kissed him softly. "I love you so much." "I love you more than you'll ever know." "I need to shower, eat and sleep, but I don't want to let you go." Matt held on to his husband tighter. "Who said you had to? We can do all those things together," Trynt suggested with a small smile. Matt broke into a grin. "I love the way you think." "Everyone is coming over for Christmas. I can cancel if—" Matt pressed a finger to Trynt's lips. "No, we have every reason to celebrate." Trynt's smile lit up his face. "We do. And I have a gift for you." "I do too—" Trynt cupped his husband's cheek. "Kimi gave it to me. I was debating whether to open it. I wasn't sure if I could handle it." "Oh," Matt said, a bit disappointed he might have missed Trynt opening it. "Did you?" Trynt shook his head. "No, you showed up." 211


Matt chuckled, relived that he hadn't missed seeing Trynt's reaction to his gift. "I do have good timing." "You do," Trynt agreed with a fond look. "So, food, shower and gifts?" Matt kissed him happily. "Perfect." "Followed by some much needed sleep until our guests arrive," Trynt decided, and Matt could see his husband was just as exhausted as he was. "Just sleep?" Matt asked huskily, wanting desperately to reconnect with his husband. Trynt kissed Matt with a hunger that showed Matt how much his husband needed him. "I have plans for the shower," he admitted with a smile. Matt hugged him again, holding him close. "God I've missed you!" [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty "I'm going to take care of you," Trynt whispered as he removed Matt's shirt once they reached the bathroom. "I love it when you do. I've missed you, Trynt. I need to feel you." "I need you too." Trynt ran his hands over the bandages wrapped around Matt's torso. He slowly unwrapped them, kissing bruised skin as it was revealed. "But, Cariad, I'm not so sure we should do anything. You're hurt." "Be gentle, then," Matt said, then pulled Trynt up for a passionate kiss. "I know you won't hurt me, love." "Never," Trynt swore, the ache receding in his heart as he suddenly felt like he could breathe again. "I do need you. I need to know you're—" Matt stopped him with a kiss. "I'm here and so are you. I want us to feel alive. Please, Trynt, don't say no," he pleaded, kissing along Trynt's jaw. "I never could with you," Trynt admitted. He ran his hands across Matt's smooth chest, unable to deny what they both needed in this life affirming and loving act. "What do you want, Matt?" Matt's voice dropped to that lower intimate register that made Trynt's body shudder with desire. "I just want to feel your skin against mine. I want to touch you, every inch of you," he said huskily, eyes filled with need. "I want to stroke you until you come while you do the same for me. And I want 213


us to come together." He punctuated each sentence with a tender kiss. Trynt cupped Matt's face and kissed him soundly. They enjoyed a languid kiss as they let their tongues explore and taste one another. "Duw, yes!" Clothes were hastily discarded until both men were naked. Trynt turned the shower on and waited for the water to be the right temperature before stepping in with Matt. The spray was hot but felt good on their tired bodies. They held each other tight under it and let the water cascade over them both as they kissed, slowly letting their passion build. As the heat from the shower swept through them, they started to caress each other's bodies. Trynt ran soothing hands across Matt's chest and pressed kisses to his face and hair. He reached for the soap and moved Matt away from the spray so he could clean his body. He had to take a moment to compose himself. Matt wet, naked and a touch flushed from their kisses and the hot water was a gorgeous sight he could never get enough of. "Beautiful," Trynt said in admiration. "Gorgeous," Matt said with a loving smile, taking in a similar sight of Trynt standing before him, and Trynt blushed. Trynt kissed Matt as he began to work up a lather with the soap. He ran it over Matt's neck and shoulders, then down to his chest and abdomen and around his back. He took extra care soothing and caressing the dark purple bruises across Matt's ribs. He carefully ran his hands all over Matt, silently lavishing his husband with love and affection as he soaped every inch of skin. 214


His hands trailed down Matt's hips to his arse and his husband let out a cry of pleasure. Trynt caressed the round globes, fingers teasing Matt's entrance as he kissed him. He knew right now he couldn't take Matt but couldn't resist feeling and touching. "Oh God, Trynt. Feels so good." Matt dropped his head onto Trynt's shoulder. Trynt pressed a quick kiss to Matt's cheek. "That's my intent, Cariad." Trynt smiled as he knelt and washed Matt's groin but ignored his erection, instead caressing Matt's balls as he let out a moan. "More." Trynt ran his hand along Matt's length, twisting gently at the head. Matt bucked into his hand, clutching Trynt's shoulders as he tried to beg for more. "Patience. I'm not finished taking care of you and you wanted us to come together," Trynt reminded, voice dropping into his intimate register. "Hurry." Matt whimpered as Trynt's tongue licked his leaking slit. "Soon." Trynt kissed the head of Matt's cock, wanting another taste as he lapped at the pre-come. He was now as hard and aching as Matt, but he wanted to finish washing his husband. "I'm almost finished." He soaped Matt's thighs and continued down lathering his calves, ankles and finally his feet before standing back up and briefly kissing Matt as he reached for the shampoo. "Close your eyes." Matt did as he was asked, and Trynt squeezed the shampoo into his hand. He rubbed it into Matt's scalp, 215


scratching and soothingly running his fingers through his husband's hair. Satisfied, he pressed a kiss to Matt's neck, breathing in his scent and soap. He steered Matt back under the spray and let the water wash the soap from his body. Matt smiled. "Your turn, love." He took the soap from Trynt and returned the favour, lathering and touching every inch of Trynt's body until he too was clean. He then washed Trynt's hair, massaging his scalp as Trynt nearly purred in contentment. After Trynt had rinsed off they resumed kissing. "Slow and gentle; you're going to come from our cocks rubbing together," he reminded. "Yes," Matt whispered, sounding breathless. He bit at Trynt's neck, sucking at the tender skin. Trynt threw his head back against the cool tile, crying out as Matt marked him. "Mine." "Yours... all yours," Trynt agreed with a quiet moan. "And I'm yours," Matt promised, sucking a little harder at the reddened skin until a vivid love bite appeared. Trynt rolled his hips as Matt pulled him flush to his body, their weeping erections slid against each other as they kissed again. "Feels so good." Matt ran his fingers through the hairs on the nape of Trynt's neck, pulling him in for a languid kiss. "You feel so good." "So do you." Trynt gasped in pleasure. "I love the feel of your skin against mine." They kissed languidly as they undulated against each other. Trynt's hands went to Matt's hips to keep him from 216


moving too much, and content Matt let his husband leisurely work them toward their climax using the friction of their bellies and their hard cocks to send their arousal spiralling upwards. Trynt loved the feeling of Matt's cock, slick with precome and water, sliding against his own with enough friction to pleasure but not enough to make them come just yet. Trynt murmured words of love against Matt's skin, worshipping his husband's body with his hands and lips as Matt clung to him kissing and touching everywhere he could. Both felt cherished and lost themselves in each other and how good it felt to be together again. Everything else faded away, their fears and worries from the past few days disappearing; nothing else existed but them in that moment. "So close," Matt told him, and Trynt saw him take a deep breath and struggle not to come. "I want us to touch each other, please," he pleaded desperately. "I want to make you come." "Duw, yes!" Trynt took Matt's hand, intertwined their fingers and drew their joined hands down their bodies. He lightly wrapped them around their hard cocks, swirling the water and pre-come from root to tip allowing their cocks to slide decadently against each other. "Together." "Together," Matt agreed, moaning loudly at the touch. They kissed again as they began thrusting together. Matt's free hand clutched Trynt's shoulder and Trynt's gripped his hip. Matt cried out as he thrust his hips forward into Trynt's pelvis, loving the hardness beneath smooth, wet skin as their cocks slid together in the channel made by their hands. 217


"You're so beautiful, Trynt," Matt cried out, eyes filled with love and passion. Trynt blushed but was smiling. "So are you." He kissed Matt and rested his forehead against his husband's. He couldn't help but feel grateful and lucky that Matt was there in his arms, making love to him when just hours ago he'd thought he'd never see him again. "I thought I'd lost you," he murmured, voice tinged with sadness. Matt cupped Trynt's cheek and feathered his face with kisses. "Never, love." He squeezed their intertwined hands and Trynt let out a throaty growl. "Feel me; I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," he swore, sealing it with a passionate kiss. "You're here, and that's all that matters." Trynt broke into a smile. "I love you, Matt, so much." Matt smiled back. "I love you too, with all that I am." Their hips rocked back and forth faster and faster in a rhythm to bring them both to completion. Trynt captured Matt's mouth with his own drinking in their moans and gasps as they moved closer and closer to release. There was no talking as they both focused on their shared pleasure. Water pounded down on them, drowning out their cries, but there was nothing but the two of them in the moment. Their kisses became uncoordinated as their hips moved faster and harder, hands pumping between them till they broke the kiss, breathing heavily. "So close, Trynt. I'm going to come." Trynt was close and needed to come, but he wanted Matt to first. He locked gazes with his husband. "Let go, Cariad, 218


I've got you." He kissed Matt deeply, tongues tangling as they sought to devour each other's mouths. "Trynt!" Matt's body arched, and he began to come, coating his husband's hand, groin and belly. Trynt followed seconds later, arching and coming hard, crying out Matt's name. Their releases mingled on their hands as the water washed it away. Trynt leant back against the cool tile wall, barely keeping himself upright as he pulled Matt into his arms and held him close. They stayed like that, sated and content, for a few minutes as they recovered, letting their breathing slow and their heartbeats return to normal. Trynt ran soothing hands across Matt's back and pressed kisses to his face and hair. "You okay?" Trynt asked with concern. He brushed Matt's wet hair from his forehead. "Hurting anywhere?" "No," Matt said honestly. "All the pain fades when you hold me, Trynt. You know that." "And I'm never going to let go," Trynt promised. He felt the water going cold. "C'mon, gorgeous, let's get you into bed so we can rest." Matt gave him a content smile. "Gifts first?" "Of course." Trynt turned off the shower, and they stepped out. He grabbed a towel and dried Matt, then quickly did the same for himself. He then followed his husband to their bedroom. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-One Matt looked worn out and tired, so Trynt had him lie down while he sat next to him on the bed. He rewrapped Matt's bandages after applying a soothing creme. Once Matt was comfortable and resting against the pillows, he reached for Matt's gift on the nightstand and his inside the drawer. Trynt's fingers ran soothingly through his husband's damp hair. "You need your rest, Cariad—" "I needed you more." Matt pulled Trynt down for a loving kiss. He then handed Trynt his gift wrapped in light blue paper. "Merry Christmas, love." Trynt kissed him again. "Merry Christmas, Cariad. I already got what I wanted but I can't wait to see what you got me." "Go on and open it," Matt urged, and Trynt could see how excited his husband was. Trynt carefully tore open the paper. He opened the small box and took out a silver pocket watch, beautifully engraved with an ivy pattern on the front cover. He popped it open, appreciating the craftsmanship of the piece. Roman numerals with dark blue seconds and minute hands made it very detailed, and he appreciated Matt picking out such a lovely timepiece. "Oh... it's perfect..." "I have a friend who is a watchmaker... He has a husband, as well, and did this for me." Matt reached forward and turned it in Trynt's hand to show him the message engraved on the back: 220


Trynt, As time goes by, I'll always be with you. Now and forever. Love, Matt Trynt's heart skipped a beat, and he leant down to rest his forehead against Matt's, gazing into his eyes. He was so grateful to have Matt right here with him. Matt wiped a tear that fell as Trynt pressed the sweetest kiss to his lips. "Thank you, Matt. I love it." Matt smiled as stroked Trynt's cheek, happiness shining in his eyes because Trynt had loved his gift. "You're welcome." Trynt kissed him again more passionately but still just as tender. "Your turn," he said nervously as he pressed the gift in Matt's hands. He moved and stretched out so he was lying beside his husband as he tore off the paper to reveal a small black jewellery box. "Oh, what's this?" Matt asked curiously. Trynt chewed on his bottom lip, hoping that, though it wasn't exactly what Matt wanted, it would do and make his husband happy. "Something you wanted..." Matt popped it open, revealing two different but still similar signet rings. One was thicker with an oval signet, while the other was thinner with a diamond signet. One had a knot engraving, while the other had a twisted stem. "Trynt..." "I knew we couldn't have wedding bands, but you wanted them, so I tried to think of the next best thing," Trynt explained, smiling shyly. He knew Matt was uncertain of the meaning but that his husband knew how special they were. 221


"So, I melted down my grandparent's rings to have these made." Matt stared at the rings in awe, clearly touched by what Trynt had done which made him happy. "You did that for me?" Trynt smiled. "I did it for us." He put his hand over Matt's and took out the slightly larger ring with the knot engraved. "This is yours, Cariad," he said affectionately. "The knot is the Welsh symbol for an eternity together." Tears fell from Matt's eyes as he pushed himself up and embraced Trynt. "Forever," he vowed, capturing Trynt's lips in a kiss. "Yes." Trynt slipped the ring on Matt's left pinky finger, knowing he couldn't wear it on the ring finger without questions being asked. Matt took the other ring. "And what does this mean, love?" "The twisted stem means together as one," Trynt said, gazing at Matt from under his eyelashes. "I'm yours and you are mine." Matt slipped the ring on Trynt's pinky finger. "Always." He cupped Trynt's face and covered him in kisses. "These are absolutely beautiful, I love them. Thank you so much, Trynt." "You're welcome." Trynt kissed his husband, letting their lips linger together for a long minute. "And thank you for marrying me, loving me, being my husband and coming home to me." Matt smiled. "No, thank you." He wrapped his arms around Trynt and kissed his temple. "I wish I could make love to you right now, but I—" 222


Trynt understood that after their coupling in the shower, Matt was exhausted. He pressed his finger to Matt's lips. "Shh, we have all the time in the world for that. Just let me hold you while you get your rest." He moved the pocket watch and discarded paper to the nightstand, then drew the duvet up as Matt lay down with him. "That's all I need." "Have you slept?" Matt asked in concern. "Not really," Trynt admitted. He then drew Matt into his arms, wanting to hold him as close as he possibly could. "But I will now. You're here." "And I'm not going anywhere," Matt assured again, kissing Trynt to drive the point home. "Never." Trynt was adamant and his hold on Matt tightened. "Because I'm not going to let you go again." Matt rested his head on Trynt's chest, in the position Trynt knew he always loved, as he could hear his heartbeat. He threw an arm around Trynt's waist and tangled their legs together so they were completely intertwined. "I love you, Trynt," Matt whispered as he drifted off. "Dwi'n dy garu di," Trynt whispered back as he too gave into sleep. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Two Both men woke as they heard Kimi let out a cry of surprise. "Oh my God, Matt, you're home!" she said ecstatically. Matt sat up, half awake, and before either of them could react, Matt had an armful of their close friend as Kimi embraced him. "We're naked under here," Trynt said shyly with a yawn, pulling the duvet around himself and Matt as he too sat up. "As if I haven't seen it all," Kimi teased as she gave both of them an appreciative glance, then added, "or heard." "Duw," Trynt muttered in embarrassment, turning red and burying his face in his hands. Matt reached over to rub his husband's back. "It's all right, love," he purred, "I love that you're a vocal wanton." Kimi giggled. "He's not the only one." Matt grinned, then waggled his eyebrows. "What can I say? Trynt makes me lose all control." "We were just sleeping, though," Trynt felt the need to point out. "Why don't I believe that?" Kimi asked with a smirk. "No, Matt's ribs are cracked." Trynt turned and rested his head on Matt's shoulder. "And we were both exhausted." "Are you all right, Matt? What happened?" Kimi asked with concern.

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Matt quickly filled her in about the miscommunication and how he made his way home. "I honestly thought you two knew. I can't believe they lost such an important message." "It happens a lot," Kimi said sadly. "But I'm just glad you're home." "That's what I said." Trynt kissed Matt's shoulder. "And it's so good to be home," Matt said with a contented smile. Kimi looked over at Trynt. "I came home to check on you, Trynt. I felt bad that I had to leave in a hurry. But I see there was no need to worry." Trynt smiled as he took his husband's hand. "No, I'm just fine now." "The others will be here in a few hours. Is it still okay?" Kimi asked with a smile of her own. "We have every reason to celebrate," Matt and Trynt said in unison, then shared a look. "I'm going to go straighten up, then," Kimi told them. "And I'll get the side dishes started," Trynt offered, now in the mood to cook and celebrate. "Evan and Wynne are bringing the ham, Drew and Lucy the dessert, and we are in charge of the side dishes," he told Matt. Matt lifted their hands and kissed Trynt's knuckles. "I'll help." "Sure you don't want to rest?" Trynt gazed at Matt in concern. "No, I'm okay," Matt assured, squeezing their joined hands. "I just want to be with you and enjoy Christmas." Trynt kissed him softly. "Me too." 225


Kimi left the room and they dressed then headed to the kitchen. Matt turned on the radio, finding Christmas music and turning it up. He began peeling the potatoes as Trynt shelled the green beans. Trynt kept glancing over and staring at his husband, just to reassure himself. He thought it was going to be the worst Christmas ever just a few hours prior and now it was quickly turning into the best. Smiling, he realised he had everything he ever wanted, and he couldn't be more grateful. He dropped the green beans and wrapped his arms around Matt from behind, pressing a kiss to his neck. Matt leant into the embrace but kept peeling the potato. "What is it?" Kissing the outer shell of Matt's ear, Trynt held him close. "Nothing." His smile grew and happiness filled his tone. "This is just nice." "Yeah, it is." Matt looked back and smiled as well. He dropped the peeler and turned in Trynt's arms before kissing him. "Dance with me?" He rested his head on Matt's shoulder as Matt's arms wrapped around him and they swayed to the music, dinner preparations forgotten as they gazed at each other. Matt began to sing along to "I'll Be Home for Christmas." "Thank you for keeping your promise, Cariad," Trynt whispered and captured Matt's lips against his. Matt held Trynt a little closer. "I told you as long as you were waiting for me nothing was going to stop me from coming home." 226


"I'll always wait for you...but you're not allowed to leave me again for a very long time." Trynt didn't ever want to be apart from his husband again. "Don't worry, I'm here to stay. The war is nearly over," Matt said in relief, and Trynt believed him because his husband never lied to him. "And I requested permission to stay at the Uxbridge and command the Groups from there." He broke into a smile and looked into Trynt's eyes. "We did it, love. We made it through." "Together," Trynt said. "Always," Matt replied, kissing his husband tenderly. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Three Later, when everything was nearly ready, there was a knock on the door, signalling the arrival of their guests. Matt followed Trynt to let them in, and they opened the door to reveal Wynne, Evan, Lucy, Drew and, to their surprise, Ben. Trynt smiled at all of them. "Look who came home." He stepped aside to let them see Matt. "Matt!" Wynne and Lucy exclaimed, then both embraced him. Lucy smiled, eyes filled with relief. "Oh it's so good to have you back!" Matt gave them a mischievous grin. "Once seen, always yearned for." They all laughed as Trynt playfully swatted him. "Behave," Trynt chided. "But it's Christmas." Matt pretended to pout. "And you're a big kid," Wynne teased, hugging Matt again. "C'mon inside, everyone." Trynt ushered them in as Wynne, Evan, Drew and Lucy went to the kitchen to set the food on the table. "Dinner goes on the table; make yourselves comfortable." Ben stopped and handed Trynt a bottle of wine. "I uh...look I'm rubbish with apologies, and I know I'm an arse to be around," he admitted, then gave them an apologetic look, "but it's Christmas, and I was hoping we could make amends." Trynt took the wine and clapped Ben on the back in forgiveness. Matt was home and life was too short to hold 228


grudges. And no one deserved to be alone on Christmas. "Welcome to our home. I don't think you've met my husband, Matt." "Nice to meet you." Ben briefly shook hands with Matt after a moment's hestitation. "I hear you put up a hell of a fight, Captain." "I did my best," Matt replied honestly. Trynt saw Matt struggling for a moment not to say something to the brash doctor about his mistreatment of him, so he caught Matt's gaze. Matt nodded, following his lead to be forgiving because it was Christmas, and Trynt smiled. "The thought of coming home kept me going," Matt added as he gazed at Trynt who smiled and wrapped an arm around him. "It's good you're back. It hasn't been the same without Trynt," Ben said, which was as close to a compliment as Trynt thought he'd ever get from the other man, and then went to hang up his coat. Matt looked at Trynt in concern. "I haven't been working much these past few days. My head wasn't in the right place," Trynt admitted. "Oh," Matt said in understanding then leant in for a kiss but stopped, unsure with Ben close by. Trynt closed the distance and kissed his husband. This was their home, and if Ben couldn't be accepting, then he could very well leave. "It's all right now. And besides, I took some personal time till New Year's." "We could take a drive and visit your mum and sister," Matt suggested, knowing it'd been a while since Trynt had 229


seen them and he knew his husband missed them. "We'll just not use the car till then and save up petrol." Trynt smiled, then nodded, thinking it was a great idea. "We could do that. I haven't used it since you left. You know I like to walk to work." They walked into the lounge where everyone was sitting and chatting. Ben was leaning against the wall, watching everyone. "Thank you for having me. I didn't want to be alone," Ben confessed as they walked in. Then he looked at them seriously. "And you don't have to worry, I wouldn't take away from anyone what I lost with Elisabeth..." Trynt reached over and squeezed Ben's shoulder. "Maybe it's time to try and move on? I know you loved her and won't forget her, but you shouldn't be alone," he said, though he doubted he could've taken his own advice if he was in Ben's shoes. "No one should. Everyone deserves to be loved." Ben nodded. "Yeah... but—" He noticed Kimi looking at him from across the room and broke into a smile. "Who's that?" "My friend Kimi. But as a warning, Ben, you will have me to answer to if you so much as upset her," Trynt warned in a low tone. "And me," Matt added protectively. Ben held up his hands in surrender. "I was only going to say hello," he muttered, then they all laughed. Kimi approached and smiled sweetly at Ben. "Hello, Ben." Wrapping his arm around Trynt's waist, Matt leant in to whisper, "Looks like Kimi beat him to it." Trynt laughed as they walked over to talk to Evan and Wynne. 230


"How are you Evan?" Trynt asked, glancing at the cast. "Doing better every day, mate." Evan's smile was filled with gratitude. He then looked at Matt. "Did he tell you he saved my life?" Matt shook his head. "No, he didn't. But I noticed your shoulder." Evan nodded. "I got hit in the field," he explained. "They rushed me to the hospital where Trynt extracted the bullet and repaired the damage." "You and Wynne are too kind. I was just doing what any good doctor would," Trynt insisted to Matt, not believing that he deserved such high praise. Matt kissed the side of his husband's face, and Trynt leant into the embrace with a sigh that only Matt heard. "Perhaps," Evan agreed, and then looked at Trynt seriously, "but you will always have my gratitude." "You're welcome," Trynt said with a smile. Matt again leant in to whisper, "You are very good at saving lives, love. You deserve that praise and so much more. I don't doubt what Evan said. That's who you are, love, compassionate, selfless, amazingly brilliant and good at what you do. Not to mention all mine." "Always." Trynt squeezed Matt's hand on his hip. "Thank you, Cariad," he whispered back, loving that Matt was proud of him. That made him feel more accomplished than any praise ever would. "It's so good to see you happy again, Trynt," Wynne said as she watched them fondly. 231


"We made a right miserable lot while these two were away, didn't we?" Trynt mused. Wynne nodded and gave a light laugh. "Yes, we did." Lucy joined them and sat on the settee. "We were a picnic." She smiled over at Drew, who—to Trynt's relief— looked more comfortable around them. "But I think we all got what we wanted this Christmas." "Definitely," Trynt agreed wholeheartedly and couldn't help but kiss his husband. "So who's hungry?" Matt asked when they broke apart. Everyone gathered round the table. Although the rationing had limited them, they had all pulled together, and there was enough to go around. They shared stories, laughed and had a good time just enjoying the company and celebrating all they were thankful for. Afterwards, they exchanged small gifts, what little they could get. Books, gloves, sweets and little trinkets were given in the Secret Santa that Kimi had set up. Matt got a new scarf and Trynt a book of Welsh mythology. Ben then got out the wine and they sang carols and relaxed as the night wore on. Later Kimi had to see everyone out, as Matt had fallen asleep on Trynt's shoulder and was snoring quietly. Kimi came back into the lounge after the last guest left. "I know I shouldn't like Ben after all he's done, but I kind of do," she admitted, giving Trynt an apologetic look. "There was some sort of instant connection." Trynt smiled down at Matt. "Then go for it, Kimi," he encouraged, wanting her to be happy. "Everyone needs a 232


second chance; you'd be good for him." He locked gazes with her. "But if he hurts you, I won't hesitate to return the favour." Kimi smiled and leant down to hug Trynt. "Thanks for always looking out for me." "Likewise." "Do you want me to get some blankets?" Kimi offered before she turned to go to her room. Trynt shook his head. "I'm going to wake him. I just didn't want to because he looks so peaceful." Kimi kissed Matt's temple. "Good night, then." "Good night, Kimi." Trynt smiled. He slid himself from Matt's embrace and knelt in front of him. Cupping Matt's face, he said, "Cariad, wake up so we can go to bed." Matt barely opened his eyes. "Where is everyone?" he murmured. "They went home." Matt yawned and rested against Trynt. "They did? I missed it?" Trynt chuckled and helped his husband to his feet. "You're adorable when you're sleepy and slightly drunk." "No, I'm dashing." Matt pouted making Trynt laugh harder. Trynt kissed Matt's nose. "That too." He led Matt to their bedroom and helped take off his clothes. Matt then lifted the duvet and slid underneath, his eyes closing as his head hit the pillow. Trynt watched him as he quickly undressed then slid under the covers, spooning against Matt's back and drawing him into his arms. 233


Trynt kissed his husband's neck. "Good night Matt, and Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas, love," Matt said so softly Trynt barely heard it. Burying his face in Matt's neck and holding him close, Trynt drifted to sleep. It had been a long week, but now Matt was home, and it was going to be all right. They could finally start building that life they had been talking about. And he couldn't wait. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Four On New Year's Eve, Matt and Trynt drove to Cardiff to visit Trynt's family and have a look at flats for rent or sale. When they got to the estate where Bethan lived with Carys, Kai, and Bryson, Matt looked all around. He took in the place his husband had grown up, from the park to the old Victorian house that needed a coat of paint but looked homey and inviting. Matt was carrying the gifts and followed Trynt to the door. Trynt nervously lifted his hand up to knock, and Matt gave him a reassuring smile. "It's going to be fine," he said with confidence, wishing he could hold Trynt's hand or offer some comfort, but they were in public. "What if they don't accept us?" Trynt asked, and the sadness Matt could hear made his heart ache. "I'll have to choose, won't I? And then—" "Stop," Matt admonished, hating to see Trynt so upset. "Why don't we just say I'm a close friend, and you offered me a ride so I could visit my family here as well? That way, you don't have to choose." "No! I won't lie about us, Matt," Trynt said adamantly with a fierce shake of his head. "You are my husband and if they can't accept us, then we'll leave." "Trynt, your family —" "Means a lot to me," Trynt interrupted in agreement. "But you do too. I almost lost you; I'm not going to let it happen again. I choose you, Cariad; it's that simple." 235


Matt was at a loss for words and couldn't possibly say how much it meant that Trynt loved him that much. He hoped Trynt wouldn't have to make the choice, but to know he would made Matt feel more valued than he ever had. He leant in toward Trynt. "I wish I could kiss you right now," he confessed quietly, looking into Trynt's eyes. "God, do you know what you do to me when you say things like that? I love you so much." His husband broke into a smile. "I love you too." He quickly rapped on the door, then stepped back. Bethan, Trynt's mum, opened the door. Tall and willowy with her silver hair in a tight bun and eyes that were Trynt's, she took in the two of them, then smiled. "Trynt!" She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Oh, I've missed you." "I've missed you too." Trynt held on to her for a long moment, and Matt hoped it wouldn't be the last time his husband hugged his mum. He remembered that last good-bye with his mum, and it made his heart clench. "Come in," she urged when they broke apart, and Trynt nodded, knowing they couldn't talk out in the open. "Mum," Trynt started to say as Matt followed them in and set their bags in the hall. "This is Matt, he's my—" Bethan grasped Matt's arms and looked him over with a pleased smile. "Your partner," she finished for him. "Yes ma'am, that's me," Matt confirmed with a grin, relieved that she seemed to be accepting of them. "And it's nice to meet you, finally." 236


"And you." Bethan hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I want to know all about you, Matt, and how you stole my son's heart." "But how did you know?" Trynt sputtered, gaping in surprise. "I only wrote you that letter saying I was coming to visit." Bethan nodded. "Yes, mab, and I'm your mum, I know these things. You've never brought anyone home, so he must be special," she said knowingly. "And then there's that look in your eyes. I can't remember the last time I saw you so happy." Trynt blushed slightly. "I am happy. Matt makes me happy," he said with a smile. He then bit his lip and looked at his mum nervously. "You're okay with us, then?" "Why wouldn't I be?" Bethan asked in confusion, then looked between them. "Oh, Trynt Gwyn Andrews, you are not too old for me to give you a right talking too!" She stepped forward and cupped Trynt's chin in her small hand, forcing him to look at her. "You are my son and nothing will ever change that," she swore. "If you're happy and loved, then that's all that matters to me." Trynt let out a breath he was holding in, then crushed his mum in a hug as tears filled his eyes. "I love you, Mum." "I love you too," Bethan said, soothingly stroking Trynt's hair. Matt looked on the tender scene, overcome with emotion and relieved that she accepted them. He knew his mother wouldn't have. She'd have tossed them out before they could 237


blink. He was grateful his husband had such a loving mother. He only wished he knew what that felt like. "Matt is my husband, Mum. We said our own personal vows to each other," Trynt confessed proudly, stepping back and reaching out for Matt who stepped into the embrace. "He's my life, and we want to move here and be closer to you after the war." "Oh Trynt, I love that idea! We've all missed you." "I know; it was Matt's idea. We want a change when we start our lives together," Trynt told her, giving Matt a loving look. "We have it all planned out," Matt added, happiness filling his tone. "We were hoping for the best when we came here." Bethan gave them a motherly smile. "Let's get some coffee and tea, then we'll talk, hmm?" "Yes, Mrs. Andrews," Matt agreed readily, smiling when Trynt slid his hand into his. Bethan, who had headed to the kitchen, stopped and turned around. "None of that; I'm Beth or Mum now. All right? You're family, and that means you're a son to me." Matt let go of Trynt to step forward and hug Bethan, enveloping her in his arms as he was unable to speak to say how much it meant for her to say that. "Thank you," he managed to say. Bethan soothed and pressed a kiss to his hair like his mum used to do when he was little, and Matt nearly cried. "You don't have to thank me; just take good care of Trynt." "Always," Matt swore with a watery smile as they broke apart. 238


They followed Bethan to the kitchen. "Where's Carys?" Trynt asked. "And Bry?" "Bry is next door playing with his friend, Jaden," Bethan answered as she took out the kettle for tea. Trynt stepped forward and helped her by setting about making the coffee. "And Carys had good news. She got a telegram telling her that Kai was at base and was home." "Oh, that's great news," Trynt said with a smile as he grabbed two mugs to pour the coffee into. They sat down at the kitchen table, and Matt and Trynt told Bethan about their life together and what Trynt had been doing since the last time he'd been home, which had been three years ago when he'd injured his leg. They were telling Bethan about Christmas when the front door flew open. "Mum!" Carys cried in distress. "Mum, where are you?" Matt and Trynt jumped up from their seats and rushed into the hall to see Trynt's sister sobbing uncontrollably. "Carys, what's happened?" Trynt asked in fear. Carys threw her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. Trynt held her close and saw she was clutching a note in her hand that he pried away and read while soothing her quietly. "Oh God, Carys," Trynt said, pain slicing through him at the loss of one of their family. "I'm so sorry." Matt took the letter from Trynt, then glanced over it. It was an official apology from the army. There had been a mixup of the two Kai Williamses on base, and Carys's husband had died in battle three days prior. He saw that Bethan was watching as she twisted her hands. "I'm sorry, Mum, Kai isn't coming home," he told her gently. 239


Bethan stepped forward and pulled Carys into her arms, both of them crying as Matt shared a look with Trynt. He knew his husband had gone through this nightmare, but unlike him, Kai was truly gone. Just as he was about to wrap Trynt in his arms, a little boy ran into the house. His brown curly hair had specks of snow in it, one of his mittens was missing and his bright blue eyes were filled with excitement. "Is Tad home? Mummy said she was going to get him." Bryson frowned as he saw Bethan and Carys crying. "What's wrong?" Matt's heart went out to the little boy; he knew exactly what he was going through. He had been scared and alone when he lost his dad, and no one had comforted him. He knew that wouldn't happen to Bryson, but he knelt down beside him. "Hi there, Bryson, I'm your Uncle Matt," he said without thinking, just knowing it felt right to say it. "I'm afraid your tad's not coming—" "Later, then?" Bryson interrupted, bottom lip quivering as tears filled his eyes. "He promised." Trynt knelt beside them and brushed the snow out of Bryson's hair, then hugged him. "Bry, I'm so sorry, but Tad was a hero, and he got hurt in the war," he said honestly. The only way to help Bryson cope would be to not sugarcoat it or just say Kai had gone away, even if he couldn't quite understand. "He's gone to heaven, baban." Tears fell from Bryson's eyes, and Matt and Trynt both knew Carys had talked to their nephew about what could happen. "But he promised to come home!" Bryson cried in confusion. 240


Trynt looked imploringly at Matt, who sat the little boy on his knee and wiped away his tears. "Sometimes, Bry, we make promises with our whole hearts because we want them to come true and we don't want to hurt the people we love," Matt explained, hoping to help Bryson to understand. "But then things happen that we can't control. Your tad wanted to keep that promise. I know he did, and I'm sorry he couldn't." Bryson snuggled into Matt's arms, and he stood to rock the little boy as he cried. "Shh," he soothed. "I know it hurts, but your mum, nana, me and Uncle Trynt are here." Carys had been watching them, tears falling unchecked as she looked at them in gratitude. "I couldn't have told him that," she admitted brokenly. "I don't know what we're going to do." Trynt hugged her and pressed a kiss to her temple. "We'll be here, whatever you need," he promised. "We'll get you through this." "Trynt's right," Matt added. "Whatever you need, we'll be happy to help." "Matt, is it?" Carys queried, and he nodded. "You're with my brother, then?" Matt nodded again, and Trynt glanced worriedly at her. "You're okay with that?" Carys gazed at Matt, who had managed to stop Bryson crying by telling him about his plane. He heard Carys say to Trynt, "Yes, how could I not be after that? He is a good bloke. Thank you both." Matt passed Bryson to Carys, then hugged her. "Think nothing of it. You're family." 241


**** Later that night, Matt and Trynt were lying together in the guest bed. Matt knew the best way to help his husband sleep after the emotional and draining day was to read to him until he fell asleep. He had something he wanted to ask Trynt before he did, though. Laying the book down he rubbed a hand across Trynt's back. "Was there anyone there for you when you found out the news about me?" Matt asked. "Kimi was, of course," Trynt answered. "I had a bit of a breakdown with her; then I wandered off on my own and shut everyone else out." "I'm so sorry," Matt whispered, pressing a kiss to Trynt's hair. "Don't be." Trynt threw his arm over Matt's waist and snuggled into the crook of his shoulder. "You're here and that's all that matters. I only wish Kai wasn't really gone." "So do I." Matt rubbed Trynt's back to comfort him. "They're going to need us. They can't get by on their own. Thank you for agreeing to move here, Cariad," Trynt said with a light kiss to Matt's shoulder. "You know I'd do anything for you," Matt said with a smile. "I love how your family accepted me, and I know this is the right choice for us, love. We can build and have a great life here." "Yeah we definitely can," Trynt agreed with a smile of his own. Matt lifted the book up. "Want me to read to you?" 242


"Only if you promise to kiss me at midnight," Trynt said huskily. He looked at Matt from under his eyelashes. "I've never done that before, but I think we should start a tradition and begin the New Year right." Matt tilted Trynt's chin up and kissed him, pouring all his love into it. "Deal." Trynt sighed happily as they broke apart breathlessly. Matt then began reading, and together they relaxed, safe and happy as they waited for the New Year, knowing it was going to be even better than the last and looking forward to their plans. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Five Five months later, the war was rapidly coming to an end. After going MIA at Christmas, Matt had seen his last mission in the field. He had saved the lives of all the men in his squadron by drawing the Messerschmitts from them, and he was promoted to Air Commander for his bravery and clever thinking. He was now in charge of helping run the base and all the responsibilities that came with it. He was more than happy to do so, because it meant he and Trynt didn't have to worry about him being shipped out again. And after being seriously injured three times in the span of the year, he knew he wasn't fit enough to return to the field. He could benefit his men more leading them from the base. He truly was home for good, and for that both men were grateful. Matt came running through their flat door and nearly lifted Trynt off his feet. "Did you hear? We won! The war is over!" he exclaimed. Trynt wrapped his arms around Matt's neck and kissed him happily. "I heard. Kimi and I were just listening on the radio. It's finally over!" He kissed Matt again; both of them were smiling. "We can start looking into getting that home in Cardiff now," Matt said excitedly. "Yes." Trynt stroked Matt's cheek. "Speaking of which, guess what I got in the mail today?" "Good news?" Matt asked, sensing his husband's excitement. 244


"You remember I wrote to inquire about a teaching position at Cardiff University?" Trynt asked, and Matt nodded. "The dean wrote, and they are going to try and start classes in the fall if the war is over. They have an opening for someone to teach 18th century lit and Welsh history. It's mine if I want it!" "Oh yes!" Matt kissed his husband soundly. "That's fantastic, Trynt!" "Isn't it? I really want to do it," Trynt admitted, happiness filling his tone as he grinned. "I'm really looking forward to it if you think we can move by then." "We will," Matt promised, determined to give his husband everything he wanted. He knew Trynt had only followed his father's dream by becoming a doctor, but his dream was to be a professor and to study his passions of literature and history. He was determined to make that dream a reality for Trynt. "I can be transferred to Saint Athan in Cardiff until I'm demobilized." "That's perfect. Maybe we can visit Mum this weekend and start looking at flats," Trynt suggested. "They'll be happy to know we'll be moving there soon." "Houses," Matt corrected. "I want one near the Bay but in a secluded area where we can have our privacy. And I want a place we can call our own." "Our home," Trynt agreed, kissing Matt again. "I love you." Matt gave him a soft smile. "I love you too." They heard the sound of a wine bottle being popped open. "Get in here, you two. I'm opening the good stuff!" Kimi called out. 245


Both men laughed as they went into the lounge. Kimi handed them a glass of wine. Matt lifted his glass. "To the end of the war and new beginnings," he toasted with a smile at Trynt, who kissed him. "Cheers!" All three clinked their glasses together before drinking. "I really am going to miss you," Kimi said with a sadness that made Trynt wish she was coming with them. "We're not leaving right away," Matt told her, wrapping her in a comforting hug. Trynt knew both he and Matt would miss Kimi dearly when they left. She had already told them of her plans after the war and her intent to stay in London. "And you know you come can with us," Trynt added. Kimi hugged Trynt as well. "I know, but the offer from the Ministry of Defense is really good. And I belong here. It's time you two had a home of your own," she insisted as she had before. "But you'll visit often?" Trynt asked, not wanting to lose contact with her. "Every chance I get." Matt grinned. "There will always be a room for you in our home." Kimi smiled back. "And I love you both like the brothers I never had." Matt and Trynt both kissed her cheeks. "We love you too," they said. Kimi finished off her wine. "I'd better get ready. Ben is picking me up for our date," she said, her excitement and nervousness both evident. 246


"We have the flat to ourselves?" Matt asked eagerly. "Whatever will we do?" Trynt joked, though he knew the answer. "Strip Monopoly!" Matt declared with a laugh. Kimi shook her head as she left to go to her bedroom. Trynt stared at his husband in amusement as he laughed as well. "You just made that up!" he accused. "Yep." Matt wrapped his arm around Trynt's waist. "And there's only one rule." "What's that?" Trynt dared to ask. "Winner gets to decide how the rest of the night plays out," Matt said, dropping into that lower, more intimate register that sent a shiver down Trynt's spine. Trynt laughed harder and gave Matt an affectionate kiss. "Oh, I love you, but why do I get the feeling you'll cheat?" he teased. "Me? Never!" Matt broke into a huge grin as he tried to feign innocence. "Was that a yes?" Trynt swore sometimes Matt was a kid who never grew up, though he wouldn't change him for the world. He smiled back at his husband. "Perhaps. You'll have to check and see if the game is still up in the closet." Matt laughed, amused, then pulled Trynt flush to his body. "Okay, but I still want to make love to you and celebrate." "Always." Trynt reached for the wine and poured them both another glass then held it up. "To you, my amazing husband who I love beyond all reason. And to us and our new life," he toasted with happiness. 247


"And to you, my gorgeous husband, who is the reason for all I do." Matt raised his glass as well, gazing at Trynt. "Our life is only just beginning, love. I'm going to give you everything you've ever wanted now that the war is over." Trynt pulled Matt in for a kiss, his tongue slipping into his husband's mouth, tasting the heady mix of him and the wine. "You did the moment you loved me. Everything else wouldn't matter without you, Cariad. It just wouldn't," he whispered when they broke apart. "Nothing would matter without you either," Matt agreed and held Trynt a little closer. "But I'm still going to do everything I can to make you happy." Trynt gazed at him, eyes filled with love. "As long as you keep loving me, I'll be happy." "Always," Matt promised, sealing it with a kiss. "Do you have any idea how happy you make me?" Trynt threaded his fingers through Matt's hair and peppered his face with kisses. "I think I do, only because I know how happy you make me." "You really are my whole world, Trynt." Matt rested his forehead against his husband's. "This war was awful and it nearly broke me, but then I found you...and I'd do it all again just to keep you here with me," he confessed. "So would I." Trynt kissed him tenderly, knowing in his heart that Fate brought them together. "Our love got us through it. Though I had never had any doubts that it wouldn't."

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"Neither did I. We are meant to be together, love," Matt said, voicing Trynt's thoughts. "I just know that and I thank my lucky stars for it." "I'll love you forever," Trynt swore as they locked gazes. "I don't think even forever is long enough for me to love you," Matt admitted and kissed his husband again. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Six There was a knock at the door. "It's probably, Ben," Trynt said, not letting go of his husband. "Let's let him in," Matt answered, then grinned. "Kimi should be ready, and then we can have the flat to ourselves." "Perfect." Trynt kissed Matt once more before they headed to the door. Matt pulled it open. There was a young boy at their door and he saw a young woman running down the hall. "Wait!" he called out but she didn't stop. He looked down in surprise at a little boy clutching a teddy bear. He was clearly frightened. He looked remarkably similar to himself when he was a boy. The same light brown hair with the fringe over his ocean blue eyes. Tall, skinny and probably younger than he looked, the similarities made Matt realize that his whole life was about to be changed. There was only one person he knew who had sent the little boy. He shared a look with Trynt, who seemed to be thinking the same and hoped that this wouldn't tear them apart; it just couldn't. They were stronger than that. As if he understood, Trynt put his arm around Matt and squeezed his hip. Matt knelt down. "Hello there." "Hi," the little boy said, then held out his hand. "I'm Mattie, and I four." "It's nice to meet you." Matt shook his hand, then looked into the hall. "Where are your parents?" 250


"Mummy's friend found you," Mattie explained. "She said I stay here now." "Oh," Matt said in surprise, wondering why Anne had sent him and where she was. "Was your mummy named Anne?" "Uh-huh, and you are my daddy!" Mattie held out his arms, wanting to be held. Matt couldn't deny the little boy the comfort, so he lifted him into his arms. As Mattie hugged him, he just knew this was his son. It was something he felt deep within, and a sudden surge of love and protectiveness filled him as he hugged Mattie back. "Yes, I am," he confirmed, no trace of doubt in his voice. Trynt noticed a note pinned to Mattie's jacket and removed it, giving it to Matt. "Why don't I get you some milk while Daddy reads this?" he offered, ruffling Mattie's hair. "Biscuits too?" Mattie smiled, his excitement making him bounce in Matt's arms. "Of course." Trynt smiled back, though it was clearly forced. Matt saw that his husband was tense and seemed scared, which worried him. Trynt left to get the biscuits and the milk as Matt brought in the bag by the door and sat Mattie on the settee. "Just be a good boy. I'll be right back, okay?" Matt pressed a kiss to Mattie's temple when Trynt returned and gave them to Mattie. Mattie nodded as he munched on a biscuit. "Okay." Matt clutched the note with one hand and pulled Trynt into the kitchen with him. "Trynt... I didn't know, please believe 251


me," he implored, hoping his husband didn't think he'd been keeping such a big secret. "I would've told you, I swear." Trynt nodded. "I know, and I trust that you would have," he assured his husband, squeezing his hand. "I'm so sorry... Please don't hate me for this," Matt pleaded, nearly desperate as his fears and insecurities surfaced. The war was finally over, but now he could still lose everything he fought so desperately to hang on to. He didn't want to lose his husband but wasn't sure what Trynt thought about children; it had never come up. There was no reason for it to; they couldn't have children, and there was no way to adopt when society didn't recognise them as a couple. Trynt gazed at his husband. "I could never hate you," he swore then firmly added, "And it's not your fault because you didn't know." "Read this with me?" Matt asked, voice rough with emotion. "I need you... I don't understand why she suddenly dropped him off..." "Maybe she wants you back," Trynt said so quietly that Matt barely heard it. "To help raise Mattie now that the war is over..." He broke off roughly, struggling to say something that he couldn't find the words for. Unable to look at Matt, he finally said, "You won't leave me to help her raise her son, will you?" "Trynt..." Matt set the note down and walked over to his husband. "You know how I felt about Anne. There was nothing between us. Who would've thought that one night would lead to this? But it doesn't matter whether she wants me or not. I refuse to leave and be stuck in a loveless 252


relationship," he said disdainfully, not ever wanting to go back to pretending. He cupped Trynt's face, locking gazes with him to let him see the truth in his eyes. "I love you and I married you. I don't care if she does want me back. I will help with Mattie, I have to, but you are my husband, and I would never leave you." Trynt let out a breath he was holding in, then crushed Matt in a hug, burying his face in his husband's neck. "I love you so much," he whispered, "and I'll love Mattie because he's yours—" "Ours," Matt corrected immediately, then added hesitantly, "if you want that." He wanted a family with Trynt; he wanted him to be a part of Mattie's life. Trynt pulled back in surprise. But he saw the sincerity in Matt's eyes and visibly relaxed. Matt was pleased to see his husband's fears disappearing. "Yes, of course, I already love him because he's a part of you. And I love the thought of having Mattie here with us as we raise him. I can't believe it. This feels like a dream. We could've never had a child, not even to adopt. I could've never given you a family..." He trailed off regretfully. Matt traced Trynt's cheekbones with his thumb. "So? I don't care. Up until now I didn't think I could give you that either but now he's ours. And Anne may have given me a son, but I could never get from anyone what I get from you." He brushed a barely there kiss to Trynt's lips. "Believe me, you and your love are everything to me and I meant what I said earlier. And I can't be without you, it would kill me," he admitted, voice nearly cracking. 253


Trynt wrapped his arms around Matt. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised, reassuring Matt. "A life without you is one I don't want." "Thank God, I can't do this without you." Matt held his husband tighter. "I won't, not without you beside me." Trynt gave him a reassuring smile. "We'll do it together. We've been through everything, Cariad. We can do this and have a family," he said without a doubt, "but we need to read that note to know what's going on." "You're right." Matt nodded and, without letting go, reached for the note. "I want that, Trynt. We have our plans, and they'll have to change to include Mattie, but every one of them is going to happen, I promise." "I believe you," Trynt assured, kissing him. "We'll make it work." "Yes, we will." Matt unfolded the note as Trynt moved in his arms so they could both read it. My Dearest Matt, I'm so sorry to break you the news in a letter, but I had no choice. It took too long to find you, and by the time you read this, I may already be gone. Mattie is your son. I think he looks just like you, and I hope you believe it. I would've told you, but you left after that night we had to go to war, and I had no way to know how to reach you. I found out I was pregnant and couldn't believe it. I was happy, though I knew I'd never see you again, but at least I'd always have a part of you and what we shared. Though I doubt you felt what I did for you, which is why I've been raising Mattie on my own. I've done well and given him everything he needed until now. I've 254


fallen ill; the doctors say I've got weeks and there is no hope. I've sent Mattie with my friend as I'm unable to travel. I need you to take care of our little boy, love him and let him remember that he was his mummy's whole world and I hated to leave him. I know you are a good man and will do what is right. Mattie is a clever, sweet and amazing little boy; raise him to be just like you and I'll be proud. I will never forget that night we met in the Palasis, London and the few weeks we courted. You gave me a gift, and I will always cherish that and love you. I only ask that you love our son as I wished you had loved me. Love, Anne There were tears streaming down both men's faces as they finished reading. Matt buried his face in Trynt's shoulder and sobbed as his husband held him close, running soothing hands across his back as he pressed kisses to his hair. "I'm so sorry, Cariad," Trynt whispered. "So very sorry." He felt awful that he had been petty and jealous when the poor woman had been on her deathbed. He knew of Anne, and from what Matt had said she was a good woman. She wouldn't have done this to hurt them, and he should've known that. And it killed him that Matt had again lost someone. Trynt held Matt close as his husband clung to him. He murmured soothingly, telling Matt it would be all right. He knew Matt felt terrible for leaving Anne and not knowing he had a son all these years and surely regretted his mistakes. 255


But they had Mattie to take care of, and Trynt would do everything he could for his husband and son. Matt suddenly pulled back and clutched Trynt's shoulders, looking at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Promise me," he rasped out. "Anything," Trynt replied without hesitation, gently wiping away his husband's tears. "Don't leave me," Matt begged, distraught. "Not like everyone else has... I can't lose you; it would destroy me." "Oh Matt," Trynt said, his heart breaking with the pain his husband was feeling. "I promise. I told you that you'd never be alone again, and I meant it. I will always be right here, and I'm not going to let you lose me." He put his hand over Matt's heart and kissed him reassuringly. "I'm here, right here." Matt captured Trynt's lips in a passionate kiss, pouring everything he felt for his husband into it. "I love you, Trynt." "I love you too," Trynt said with an affectionate smile. "Now, why don't we go check on our little boy? If he's anything like you, which I'm sure he is"—he chuckled, hoping to get Matt to smile—"he'll be into trouble." Matt laughed through his tears. "You're right." He ran his fingers over Trynt's cheek. "We're really doing this aren't we?" he asked, needing the confirmation. "Yes," Trynt affirmed in understanding. "Mattie is our son, and we'll raise him together." "Thank you." Matt kissed him again. "I love that we're doing this, to be honest." 256


"Anything for you," Trynt said, resting his forehead against Matt's. "And so do I. I always wanted children with you but didn't think there was a way," he admitted. Matt nodded in agreement. "Neither did I." Trynt ran his fingers through Matt's hair. "I should be thanking you for giving me a son," he said, happiness filling his tone. Matt swallowed the lump in his throat. "We owe it to Anne. She gave him to us. I didn't do anything, really, and I feel terrible about that." "We'll always remember her." Trynt kissed Matt's temple. "You didn't know so don't feel guilty," he stated, not wanting his husband to blame himself. "Now you can make up for lost time and show him that he has a daddy that loves him." "And a tad," Matt added, locking gazes with him. Trynt's smile grew at those words; he loved Matt calling him that. He didn't think it would ever happen, but now they had a family and were parents. It made him very happy, and he knew that things were going to be all right. "And Tad too," he agreed. Hand in hand, they made their way to the lounge. They laughed as they saw Mattie rolling on the floor with Cadwyn. "She's fun!" Mattie laughed, hugging Cadwyn to him as she licked his face. "Her name is Cadwyn," Matt told him with a chuckle. He scooped Mattie into his arms. "Let's talk for a minute, sport." Trynt sat with Matt on the sofa. Matt settled their son in his lap, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry I wasn't around, baby." 257


"Mummy says you a hero in the war; that's why you not around," Mattie told him, bouncing on Matt's knee. "He was," Trynt said proudly. "Your daddy saved so many people." Mattie looked at Trynt, then smiled. "What's your name?" "I'm Trynt, and your daddy is very special to me," Trynt told him, wanting to be honest with Mattie. Matt gazed at their son. "He's your tad," he told Mattie. "You didn't know you had one, did you?" Mattie shook his head. "Is a tad like a daddy?" he asked in wonder. "Precisely," Matt agreed, proud of how clever Mattie was. "And you're going to live with us." "Here?" Mattie looked around at the small lounge. "No, we're going to move into a big house with a garden and toys. How does that sound?" Matt asked, ruffling Mattie's hair and hugging him. "Good!" Mattie clapped his hands. Matt smiled, pleased that their son was happy. "We're going to take good care of you and love you so much," he swore, silently promising never to let Mattie down again. "New house and I get two daddies? Cool!" Mattie bounced in Matt's arms. "Daddy, Tad and Mummy. I lucky!" Trynt smiled affectionately at their son. "We'll always remember your mum, I promise." "Mummy went bye-bye to the angels." Mattie's eyes filled with tears, and he snuggled into Matt who was fighting his own tears. 258


Trynt moved to embrace them both. "But she'll always be in your heart and will be watching over you," he said in a soothing tone, rubbing Mattie's back. "Tad's right, and we'll always be here. It's going to be okay, Mattie." Matt kissed his son's hair and held him close. "I promise." Trynt kissed Matt's cheek. "Yes it will be." He held his family close. "Everything is going to be just fine." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Seven Later that night, Trynt and Matt were sleeping in their room. They had made Mattie a bed on the settee, and Cadwyn had stayed with their little boy. They knew they'd have to move sooner than they planned to get Mattie a proper home, but for now it would do. Kimi had been understanding and already adored the little boy, offering to watch him whenever they needed her to. Both men were woken when they heard Mattie's cries. "Daddy, Tad, help!" Sharing a panicked look, they jumped out of bed and ran out to the lounge. Matt looked around. Checking for danger and finding none, he knelt beside the settee. Mattie flew into his arms. "What is it, baby?" "Monster is gonna get me!" Mattie cried fearfully, arms wrapping tight around Matt's neck and snuggling close. "Shh," Matt soothed, rocking him as Trynt stepped over to his side. "Daddy's got you." Trynt rubbed Mattie's back. "It's all right, monsters are scared of Daddy. They won't bother you anymore, baban." Mattie sniffled and looked over at him with teary eyes. "'Cause Daddy is a hero?" "That's right," Trynt agreed with a fond smile. Mattie kissed Mattie's hair. "Tad's right, no more monsters. How about some warm milk? What else did Mummy do when you had bad dreams?" "Mummy sings to me," Mattie said with a nod. 260


"Would you like to hear what my mum sang to me when I was your age?" Trynt asked, holding out his arms. "Okay. Can you sing to Teddy too?" Mattie asked, pointing to his bear on the settee. Trynt picked it up and then Matt gave Mattie to him. Matt was happy that Trynt offered. His partner had a beautiful voice, and he couldn't think of any lullabies. "I'll go get your milk, Mattie." Mattie shook his head. "Stay, Daddy," he pleaded, reaching out for him. Matt felt his heartstrings pulled at that silent plea and nodded. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised, hugging Mattie and Trynt. Trynt settled into the recliner and began to rock Mattie, who snuggled into his arms as he held his teddy bear. Softly Trynt began to sing in Welsh, **** "Sleep, my baby, on my chest, Warm and cozy, it will prove, Round thee my arms are folding, In my heart a father's love. There shall no one come to harm thee, Naught shall ever break thy rest; Sleep, my darling babe, in quiet, Sleep serenely, baby, slumber, Lovely baby, gently sleep; Tell me wherefore art thou smiling, Smiling sweetly in thy sleep? 261


Do the angels smile in heaven When thy happy smile they see? Dost thou on them smile while slum'bring On my chest peacefully. Matt smiled at the beautiful sight before him, his husband holding their son who was now sleeping peacefully. "I love those Welsh vowels of yours, even if I have no idea what you just said," Matt said in a whisper so as not to wake Mattie. Trynt gave him an amused smile. "It's the lullaby my mum sang to me every night. I'll translate for you later." He looked down at Mattie, brushing the fringe from his eyes. "I don't think he's going to sleep on his own tonight." "No, I don't think so either," Matt agreed, standing up. "Let's go back to our bed. I'll have to get up early and figure out how to make sure that he stays with us. I'll probably have to file for custody." "If your name is on his birth certificate or if Anne left a will, it should be easy enough," Trynt mused, shifting Mattie a bit as he slowly got to his feet. Mattie snuffled and held on to him tighter but didn't wake. Matt put his arm around his husband, holding him close as they walked to the bedroom. "I just wish we could do it together," he admitted with a sigh. "He's ours; you should be recognised as his tad. We have a family now... It's just not fair." "I know, just like we should be recognised as a couple, but"—Trynt gave Matt a comforting look as he locked gazes with him—"I don't need a piece paper to tell me that I'm your husband or Mattie's tad. As long as the three of us know 262


we're a family and our friends and family accept us, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." "You're absolutely right." Matt cupped Trynt's cheek and kissed him lovingly as they stopped beside their bed. "You know, I don't think I could love you any more, then you go and say something like that, and I fall in love with you all over again," he confessed, his tone warm and affectionate. Trynt's smile lit up the room as he kissed Matt again. "I love you too, Cariad." Together they got settled into bed, Mattie clung tightly to Trynt, lying on his chest as Matt curled up along Trynt's side, holding his husband and son as they fell asleep. He was so grateful to have them. They were his life, and he knew, despite the challenges that were sure to occur, they were going to make it. He and Trynt would raise Mattie and build a wonderful life together with their love. Epilogue Five years later After the war was over, Matt and Trynt bought a home in Cardiff with a huge garden for Mattie to play in. The house was subdivided; Matt bought one half and Trynt the other, so to the outside world it looked as if they were living separately. Only their friends and family knew that they weren't, and they kept a close circle of friends, always thankful that the few people they trusted accepted their family. They also created a connecting passage between the two homes, enabling them to go back and forth without detection. They settled down and started a life together, 263


raising their son. Trynt began teaching as a professor, and Matt, after being demobilized, had become a pilot for Cardiff International Airport until he transferred to traffic control where he was the supervisor. They were happy, and though they couldn't show it to the world, they were very much in love and cherished every day that went by together with each other and their son. They had a family, and though it wasn't society's ideal, it was perfect and all they wanted. **** Trynt set his messenger bag on the side table and removed his overcoat and charcoal black suit jacket. "Matt, I'm home." "We're in here, love," Matt called from the lounge. Trynt found his husband sprawled out on the floor with Bryson and Mattie. There was an airplane model spread out around them that he knew was Matt's Spitfire from the war. In the past five years, Bryson had become like a second son to them. Since they had moved to Cardiff, he and Matt had become fathers to the now nine-year-old boy. And to Mattie he was a brother; the two were inseparable as they grew up together. "Tad!" Mattie jumped and ran to Trynt, hugging him close. Trynt smiled and ruffled his son's hair. "Hey sprout, how was school?" "It was okay. I got an A on that book report," Mattie told him proudly. Trynt broke into a smile. "You did? I'm so proud of you." 264


"Thanks, Tad. Will you help me and Dad with my history project later?" Trynt kissed Mattie's temple. "Of course. Is the plane part of it?" "Yes." Mattie nodded. "And I have to write a report too." "Here, Uncle Matt?" Bryson asked, holding a piece of the plane to the body. "Don't forget the glue." Matt helped him put the piece in place, then smiled up at Trynt. "Welcome home," he greeted. Trynt knelt down beside Matt and kissed him. "It's good to be home." "Hi, Uncle Trynt!" Bryson grinned, and he leant over to hug his nephew. "We're making Uncle Matt's plane from the war for Mattie's project." "Mattie was telling me that. It looks great." Trynt ruffled his hair. Mattie picked up a few pieces and started helping Bryson put the plane together. Trynt settled down next to them. He smiled as Matt put his arm around him. "Carys had to work a double shift. So I picked him up with Mattie from school," Matt told his husband. "Can Bry spend the night? Please Dad and Tad?" Mattie pleaded, folding his hands together and giving him that look that neither he or Matt could say no to. "If Auntie Carys says yes, he can," Trynt stipulated. Matt leant into his husband. "She already did. It's up to us." Trynt nodded. "I'm okay with that." He smiled at Matt. "What about you?" 265


"I already said yes," Matt admitted. "We were just waiting for the final vote." Trynt chuckled. "That's settled, then." "Yay!" Bryson stuck out his tongue as he put another piece together, and both men laughed. "Thank you, Tad." Mattie smiled and hugged them both. "You're welcome." Trynt looked at both boys, then questioned, "Did you two do your homework yet?" "Uncle Matt made us do it before we started the plane," Bryson complained, and Mattie nodded. "And I started dinner already. How was work, love?" Matt asked, wanting to know how his husband's day had gone. Trynt rested his head on his husband's shoulder. "It wasn't bad. I got held up trying to explain to a student that he wouldn't be receiving credit for something three weeks late," he said in irritation. "And then I got volunteered to give a lecture on Emerson next week. How about you?" "It was okay. The usual handling of traffic control. And I helped Dafydd with the engineering of the newer models we've received ," Matt replied, and Trynt could hear how exhausting the day had been for his partner. Trynt nodded and kissed his husband's shoulder. "So as tiring as mine. Can I help?" Matt handed him the wing of the plane. "Of course you can." "I want to be a pilot and fly a plane just like this!" Bryson exclaimed. "Me too! Just like you, Dad!" Mattie agreed with an enthusiastic nod. 266


Matt chuckled and tussled his son's hair. "Maybe we can go flying this weekend," he suggested. Trynt knew he loved taking the boys flying whenever he got the chance. "Me too?" Bryson asked eagerly. "Yes," Matt confirmed, but then added, "but we have to check and see if Mum says okay." "Yay!" Mattie and Bryson said happily in unison. Bryson looked at Matt then back at the airplane model. "Wasn't that the best part of the war flying your plane and taking out the bad guys?" he asked excitedly, mimicking shooting a gun and flying. "No, Bry. The best part was meeting Uncle Trynt," Matt said honestly, and Trynt leant against his husband, intertwining their hands. Matt pulled Mattie to him. "And you too, son." Mattie hugged them both. "I love you, Dad. And you too, Tad." "We love you too," Matt and Trynt said together. "Was it second best?" Bryson asked, his questions neverending. Matt nodded. "A very far second, but yes. You know I love to fly." "What about you, Uncle Trynt?" Bryson asked curiously. "Was that the best part for you too?" Trynt squeezed Matt's hand. "Meeting your Uncle Matt changed my whole life; it was the only part of the war that I care to remember," he admitted, then broke into a smile. "And then when Mattie came home, we had a family, so yes, the very best part." 267


Matt kissed his husband chastely, then whispered that he loved him in his ear. Trynt whispered it back; then they watched Mattie and Bryson put the plane together. **** Later, when Mattie and Bryson were in bed, Trynt wandered downstairs to find Matt in the lounge. "As Time Goes By" was playing on the record player, and the lights were dimmed. Two glasses of wine were on the mantel, which Matt was leaning casually against. Their eyes met, and they smiled. Both knew what the day was: the anniversary of the first time they had met five years ago. Matt held out his hand, and Trynt pulled him into the centre of the room. Matt undid the top two buttons of Trynt's dark red shirt, revealing just a little bit of chest hair that drove him crazy. He grinned as he admired his work. "Gorgeous," he said, giving Trynt a lingering kiss. Trynt blushed and gave Matt a content smile. "So are you." He ran his hands lovingly across Matt's chest and up to his shoulders. "Five years..." "Five incredible years," Matt said, happiness filling his tone. "And all our plans came true. It's even better than I could have ever dreamed." He wrapped his arms around Trynt's waist, pulling him close so there was no space between them. "Yes." Trynt put his hand on the back of Matt's neck and gazed into his husband's eyes. "And there will be many, many more years." He paused thoughtfully. "I think I knew even then that I loved you." 268


"I did too. You knocked my whole world out of kilter. I fell hard and fast for you, love. Now I couldn't love you more." Matt smiled and kissed his husband. "Though I've said that before, then you go and do something so amazing and I end up loving you even more than I thought was possible." Trynt ran his fingers through Matt's hair. "I feel the same. You saved me, Matt, gave my life meaning again. I was lost, alone, hurting and unsure of where my life was going until I found you and you showed me what love really was," he admitted with a tender smile. Matt held Trynt closer. "No you saved me. I was a wreck when we met and so broken, but then you put the pieces back together and gave me a love I'd thought I'd never find." "We saved each other." "That we did," Matt agreed, caressing Trynt's cheek. "I count my blessings that we met on that day. I can't imagine my life without you." "Neither can I. But I'm not going anywhere, Cariad," Trynt swore, gazing into his husband's eyes. "Not without you." Matt's smile lit up his face. "I'll always be right by your side. I need and love you more than life itself." "I love you too." Trynt happily kissed his husband. "Forever." "Forever," Matt promised as they swayed to the music, holding each other close. [Back to Table of Contents]

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About the Author Anna Lee graduated from the University of California Riverside with a Bachelor's Degree in Creative Writing. Living with a disability, she has overcome many challenges and puts her passion for life and love into her writing. She lives with her family and dogs and enjoys writing late into the night. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Trademarks Acknowledgment The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction: Monopoly: Hasbro, Inc. [Back to Table of Contents]

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MLR AUTHORS Featuring a roll call of some of the best writers of gay erotica and mysteries today! Derek Adams M. Jules Aedin Maura Anderson Victor J. Banis Jeanne Barrack Laura Baumbach Alex Beecroft Sarah Black Ally Blue J.P. Bowie Barry Brennessel Michael Breyette Nowell Briscoe P.A. Brown Brenda Bryce Jade Buchanan James Buchanan Charlie Cochrane Karenna Colcroft Jamie Craig Kirby Crow Dick D. Ethan Day Diana DeRicc 272


Jason Edding Theo Fenraven Angela Fiddler Dakota Flint S.J. Frost Kimberly Gardner Roland Graeme Storm Grant Amber Green LB Gregg Drewey Wayne Gunn Kaje Harper Jan Irving David Juhren Samantha Kane Kiernan Kelly M. King Matthew Lang J.L. Langley Josh Lanyon Anna Lee Elizabeth Lister Clare London William Maltese Gary Martine Z.A. Maxfield Timothy McGivney Lloyd A. Meeker Patric Michael 273


AKM Miles Reiko Morgan Jet Mykles William Neale Willa Okati L. Picaro Neil S. Plakcy Jordan Castillo Price Luisa Prieto Rick R. Reed A.M. Riley George Seaton Jardonn Smith Caro Soles JoAnne Soper-Cook Richard Stevenson Liz Strange Marshall Thornton Lex Valentine Maggie Veness Haley Walsh Missy Welsh Stevie Woods Lance Zarimba Check out titles, both available and forthcoming, at www.mlrpress.com [Back to Table of Contents] 274


THE TREVOR PROJECT The Trevor Project operates the only nationwide, aroundthe-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. Every day, The Trevor Project saves lives though its free and confidential helpline, its website and its educational services. If you or a friend are feeling lost or alone call The Trevor Helpline. If you or a friend are feeling lost, alone, confused or in crisis, please call The Trevor Helpline. You'll be able to speak confidentially with a trained counselor 24/7. The Trevor Helpline: 866-488-7386 On the Web: www.thetrevorproject.org/ THE GAY MEN'S DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROJECT Founded in 1994, The Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project is a grassroots, non-profit organization founded by a gay male survivor of domestic violence and developed through the strength, contributions and participation of the community. The Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project supports victims and survivors through education, advocacy and direct services. Understanding that the serious public health issue of domestic violence is not gender specific, we serve men in relationships with men, regardless of how they identify, and stand ready to assist them in navigating through abusive relationships. GMDVP Helpline: 800.832.1901 On the Web: gmdvp.org/ 275


THE GAY & LESBIAN ALLIANCE AGAINST DEFAMATION/GLAAD EN ESPANOL The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (glaad) is dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation. On the Web: www.glaad.org/ glaad en espanol: www.glaad.org/espanol/bienvenido.php SERVICEMEMBERS LEGAL DEFENSE NETWORK Servicemembers Legal Defense Network is a nonpartisan, nonprofit, legal services, watchdog and policy organization dedicated to ending discrimination against and harassment of military personnel affected by "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (dadt).The sldn provides free, confidential legal services to all those impacted by dadt and related discrimination. Since 1993, its inhouse legal team has responded to more than 9,000 requests for assistance. In Congress, it leads the fight to repeal dadt and replace it with a law that ensures equal treatment for every servicemember, regardless of sexual orientation. In the courts, it works to challenge the constitutionality of dadt. sldn Call: (202) 328-3244 PO Box 65301 or (202) 328-FAIR Washington DC 20035-5301 e-mail: [email protected] On the Web: sldn.org/ THE GLBT NATIONAL HELP CENTER 276


The glbt National Help Center is a nonprofit, tax-exempt organization that is dedicated to meeting the needs of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community and those questioning their sexual orientation and gender identity. It is an outgrowth of the Gay & Lesbian National Hotline, which began in 1996 and now is a primary program of The glbt National Help Center. It offers several different programs including two national hotlines that help members of the glbt community talk about the important issues that they are facing in their lives. It helps end the isolation that many people feel, by providing a safe environment on the phone or via the internet to discuss issues that people can't talk about anywhere else. The glbt National Help Center also helps other organizations build the infrastructure they need to provide strong support to our community at the local level. National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564) National Youth Talkline 1-800-246-PRIDE (1-800-2467743) On the Web: www.glnh.org/ e-mail: [email protected] **** If you're a GLBT and questioning student heading off to university, should know that there are resources on campus for you. Here's just a sample: US LOCAL GLBT COLLEGE CAMPUS ORGANIZATIONS dv-8.com/resources/us/local/campus.html 277


GLBT Scholarship Resources tinyurl.com/6fx9v6 Syracuse University lgbt.syr.edu/ Texas A&M glbt.tamu.edu/ Tulane University www.oma.tulane.edu/LGBT/Default.htm University of Alaska www.uaf.edu/agla/ University of California, Davis lgbtrc.ucdavis.edu/ University of California, San Francisco lgbt.ucsf.edu/ University of Colorado www.colorado.edu/glbtrc/ University of Florida www.dso.ufl.edu/multicultural/lgbt/ University of Hawaiyi, Manoa manoa.hawaii.edu/lgbt/ University of Utah www.sa.utah.edu/lgbt/ University of Virginia www.virginia.edu/deanofstudents/lgbt/ Vanderbilt University www.vanderbilt.edu/lgbtqi/ ****

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As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes

As Time Goes

As Time Goes

As Time Goes By: Tense and Universal Grammar

Where the Time Goes

A Day in a City (Time Goes By)

A Year in the World of Dinosaurs (Time Goes By)

A Year at a Construction Site (Time Goes By)

A Year at a Farm (Time Goes By)

A Day at an Airport (Time Goes By)

A Day at a Zoo (Time Goes By)

Not a Day Goes By

Not a Day Goes By

As If by Magic

As If by Magic

The Noah Paradox: Time as Burden, Time as Blessing

Touched By Time

Driven by Time: Time Orientation and Leadership

As Time Goes By: Boomerang Marriages, Serial Spouses, Throwback Couples, and Other Romantic Adventures in an Age of Longevity

Common Time by James Blish

Anything Goes

Anything Goes

Anything Goes

Anything Goes

Anything Goes

As the Walls Crumble by Robert Scholes

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes

As Time Goes

As Time Goes

As Time Goes By: Tense and Universal Grammar

Where the Time Goes

A Day in a City (Time Goes By)

A Year in the World of Dinosaurs (Time Goes By)

A Year at a Construction Site (Time Goes By)

A Year at a Farm (Time Goes By)

A Day at an Airport (Time Goes By)

A Day at a Zoo (Time Goes By)

Not a Day Goes By

Not a Day Goes By

As If by Magic

As If by Magic

The Noah Paradox: Time as Burden, Time as Blessing

Touched By Time

Driven by Time: Time Orientation and Leadership

As Time Goes By: Boomerang Marriages, Serial Spouses, Throwback Couples, and Other Romantic Adventures in an Age of Longevity

Common Time by James Blish

Anything Goes

Anything Goes

Anything Goes

Anything Goes

Anything Goes

As the Walls Crumble by Robert Scholes

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