Always a Bridesmaid

Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett

IF it were anyone else but Trey asking, I would never have agreed. The phone woke me from the middle of a dream, one where I was wading in the surf at a deserted beach when a bronzed god of a man rode up—bareback, of course—on a spectacular white stallion. He had just offered me his hand to lift me up behind him when a warble shattered the image. Since at this point in my life, dreams were about the most action I was getting, I wasn’t especially happy to be disturbed from one that seemed to have the potential to be really hot. “Whoever this is, you better have a damn good reason for calling at—” I squinted at the large red numbers on the bedside clock, blurred since I’d already taken out my contacts, “at nearly two in the morning. On a Saturday,” I added grumpily. “She said yes!” Trey’s distinctive deep voice was shaking with emotion as he shouted into the phone. I held the receiver a good six inches away from my ear and could still hear him clearly over the background noise of wherever he was calling from. “Jay-Jay, she said yes!” Since I never thought there’d be any doubt once he worked up the nerve to actually ask Sherrie to marry him,

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett Trey’s announcement didn’t come as much of a surprise to me. Besides being my best friend since we grew up next door to each other in cookie-cutter bungalows in Back of the Yards, Michael Francis Fitzgerald III—Trey to everyone who knew him—was a handsome guy with dark “black Irish” coloring, green eyes, and a tall, muscular build. Following a three-generation family tradition in the Chicago Fire Department, he was an EMT at the 76th and Pulaski station house. His girlfriend, now fiancée, Sherrie was an ER nurse at Holy Cross; they’d met when Trey brought in a guy they’d cut out of a four-car wreck on the Stevenson. The two of them hit it off immediately and had been dating for almost a year now. I was actually more surprised to hear him using my childhood nickname; I’d been Jack to everyone but my grandmother since I was old enough to write. Trey must have needed quite a bit of liquid courage to pop the question if he’d regressed to calling me Jay-Jay. “That’s great, Trey. Where are you?” I asked when another wave of noise burst from the phone. “O’Shaughnessy’s. Want to join us?” Not that I had anything against O’Shaughnessy’s, but trying to make small talk at a crowded singles bar with a couple who’d just gotten engaged wasn’t worth dragging myself out of bed in the middle of the night. Especially when the bar in question didn’t cater to my kind of singles. Not that I’d be hanging out at a gay bar either, of course. I teach high school science, and while I don’t keep my sexual preference a secret, there’s a level of professional discretion I was careful never to overstep. Which was at least partly the

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett reason the hottest action I’d seen lately was in my dreams. “Think I’ll take a rain check, but congratulations. Give Sherrie a kiss for me.” “You’ve gotta be my best man, Jay-Jay. always there for each other, right?”

Best friends,

“Right, Trey,” I answered, even if it was an honor I could honestly have done without. Over the past two years I’d stood up for six of my friends’ and relatives’ weddings. We were all getting to that age, late twenties/early thirties, where the desire to hop into bed with any warm body was maturing into a need for stability and commitment. I didn’t begrudge any of the couples whose weddings I took part in one bit of their happiness. I was just starting to wonder if I’d ever find that same happiness myself. Of course in Illinois, marriage wasn’t an option for two men anyway, but it wasn’t the ceremony that was important, it was the permanence behind it. I knew fewer than one marriage in two lasted a lifetime any more, but I was a romantic at heart. Both my Byrne and O’Connell grandparents had celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversaries—Nana and Pop O’Connell were close to their seventieth—and I had no doubt that if my dad were still alive, my parents would be planning their own thirty-year anniversary celebration next summer. I wanted to be able to make that same commitment. I’d just never met a man I wanted to make it with. “It won’t be a big wedding, Jay-Jay,” Trey promised. “We both want a quiet little ceremony, just close friends and family.”

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett When the bride and groom are both South Side Irish? That could work out to a couple hundred on each side, easily. And Trey had lots of friends. Every fireman who wasn’t on duty would be there, along with half the cops in the city. At least I could look forward to lots of men in uniform. The eye candy factor would be high, even if I’d never hit on any of them. “So how many other guys will be standing up with me?” “I mean it, it’s not gonna be some huge circus of a ceremony,” Trey insisted. “Just you and me and Sherrie and her attendant—a friend of hers from college. It’ll be great.” Far be it from me to disillusion the happy groom-to-be. He’d find out soon enough how quickly a “quiet little wedding” could balloon once both sides started making their lists of people they absolutely had to invite. “I’m sure it will, Trey,” I assured him. “Sure you don’t want to help us celebrate?” I flipped up a slat in the blinds on my bedroom window. It had started to snow again, the pristine white blanket temporarily transforming the city street into an arctic wonderland. By morning the salt plows would have turned it to mounds of dirty grey slush. “I love you, Trey, but not enough to shovel my car out in the middle of the night. You’re not driving, are you?” I really didn’t have to ask; Trey and Sherrie both had dealt with enough DUIs to know better. “No way. We’ll catch a cab home.”

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett “Then give Sherrie a kiss for me, and we’ll get together for dinner the next night you’re both off, okay?” I could hear Sherrie’s laughing protest that I was on my second kiss already and was Trey sure I didn’t like girls just a little? “Only you, sweetheart,” I assured her, hoping the maid of honor at this wedding wouldn’t take my lack of interest in her as either an insult or a challenge. “All the kisses from now on are pure Trey.” After congratulating them both again, I set the phone back on the nightstand and slid under the covers again. My apartment felt very quiet after the joyful chaos of the call, and it took me a long time to fall back asleep.

SHERRIE had her heart set on a June wedding. Since most of the weddings I’d stood up for had been in the planning stages at least a year out, I didn’t see how they’d be able to pull it off, but I hadn’t taken into account the network of family and friends Trey and Sherrie could call on. Trey’s uncle was the manager of the country club where we’d both caddied as teenagers; they’d been booked solid, but when a couple canceled after the bride-to-be dumped her fiancé for the best man (something I reminded Trey he’d never have to worry about), Mr. Riordan had immediately offered them the date for their reception. Since Trey’s mother volunteered in the rectory of their parish church, she was able to juggle the schedule to fit in another wedding mass on that date and sweet-talk Father Leahy into officiating at a third ceremony.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett One of Sherrie’s cousins’ boyfriend worked at a printer and was able to do a rush job on the invitations. Sherrie was going to wear her mother’s wedding gown, though since she was a good six inches taller than Mrs. Durgan, her Aunt Moira (who happened to be an expert seamstress) was adding a deep row of lace at the wrists and hem. Trey and I had it easy. All we had to do was show up to have our measurements taken at the formalwear store. Though to no one’s surprise the guest list quickly outgrew the “quiet little ceremony” Trey had promised, they’d managed to resist increasing the wedding party to more than two attendants. I griped to Trey that I was going to need to wear track shoes to serve as usher for all the guests by myself, though that wasn’t the only reason I’d prefer more groomsmen. There wouldn’t be anyone but me to stand up for dances and photos and act as escort with Sherrie’s attendant. Sherrie told me unsympathetically that she was sure I’d manage to endure Morgan’s company for a day or two; Trey just grinned and said he’d see about finding someone to help me seat the guests on the big day. Winter finally gave way to an erratic Chicago spring as the months before the wedding passed. I had a few dates with a catcher from one of the other teams in the softball league Trey and I played in, whose blatant ogling of my ass every time I stepped to the plate made it pretty clear he was interested in more than just my batting stance. Chris lived on the North side and worked for one of the big downtown accounting firms. We lasted a few months, but our relationship, already seriously strained by the inevitable

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett realization that he was a Cubs fan, suffered its death throes when our team eliminated his in the final round of the playoffs. By then I was so wrapped up in year-end grading that before I knew it, Trey was calling to remind me about the rehearsal the Wednesday night before the wedding. “I’ve stood up at enough weddings to do them in my sleep,” I reminded Trey. “I was thinking of catching the twinight doubleheader against the Twins instead.” Trey rolled his eyes at my feeble attempt at a joke. “We have reservations for dinner at Lunardi’s after.” Thank God for Italian food, or the Irish would starve. “Okay,” I relented, “but I’m only coming for the lasagna and cannoli.” Unfortunately, on Wednesday traffic was crawling thanks to the never-ending expressway construction and a broken water main on Cicero, so even though I’d left straight from school I was running late by the time I pulled into the parking lot of St. Brendan’s. I recognized both Trey’s and Sherrie’s cars and hoped they wouldn’t be too hacked off at me, though they both knew how hellish Chicago rush hour traffic could be. I’d just hit the remote to lock my doors when another car squealed into the lot, throwing up gravel as it slid into the space next to mine. A man I didn’t recognize rolled down the window, looking a little panicked. “Is this the church for the Durgan-Fitzgerald wedding rehearsal?”

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett Wondering who he was, since I thought I knew all of Trey’s and Sherrie’s relations who were likely to show up for the rehearsal, I frankly stared for a moment before answering. The guy was gorgeous: chiseled features, thick brown hair that looked slightly rumpled, as if he’d been running a hand through it, and the deepest, bluest eyes I’d ever seen. Realizing he was waiting for my answer, I nodded. “Yeah, it is.” “Thank God! I’ve been driving around lost for an hour. I had the address as 76th Street instead of 79th Street.” He climbed out of the car and stretched, his long, lean body as delectable as the rest of his features. “Sherrie’d kill me if I didn’t show up.” Deciding this must be an out-of-town relative, I was about to introduce myself when the doors to the church opened and the bride-to-be herself peeked out. “Jack, Morgan, what are you doing hanging around in the parking lot?” she demanded in an exasperated voice. “Everyone’s waiting for you two to get started. Get your butts in here now!” Morgan? My head whipped around to check out my companion again. He was already jogging up the church steps to wrap Sherrie in a hug, giving me a prime view of his jean-clad backside. This was Morgan, Sherrie’s attendant? No wonder she and Trey had both grinned whenever they’d mentioned her college roommate. They’d conveniently neglected to mention that Morgan was male. As I followed up the steps, I wondered whether I should read anything more into that than my friends’ idea of a joke.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett The rehearsal didn’t give us much chance to talk as the wedding coordinator walked us through the various places to stand, sit, and kneel during the ceremony. It wasn’t until we were seated next to each other in the private room at Lunardi’s that I managed to introduce myself. “Jack O’Connell.” I offered my hand as a waitress set a jug of Chianti on the table. “I’m the… I’m Trey’s groomsman.” Somehow it felt awkward to announce myself as the “best man” when my counterpart had at least as much of a claim to the title himself. “Morgan Mikeska,” he answered, taking my hand in a firm grip. “And I don’t know what the heck you’d call me,” he admitted, his blue eyes shining with humor. “If it were anyone but Sherrie asking, I’d have told them no way.” “You mean you’ve never stood up for a bride before?” I couldn’t help but return his smile. “I’ve never stood up in a wedding before in any capacity. Have you?” “This is my seventh time,” I answered, waiting for the inevitable jokes. “Then you must know what you’re doing. Maybe you can help me figure it out.” His voice was soft, with a hint of an accent I couldn’t place, but I didn’t get any feeling that he was mocking me. In fact, his gaze looked almost admiring. “I’d be happy to help, though the female side of the aisle is pretty much a mystery to me.” I might not be able to come

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett right out and ask if he was gay, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t drop a few hints about myself. Morgan quirked an eyebrow. “Isn’t that the truth,” he murmured, pausing while the wait staff set platters loaded with antipasto, lasagna, bracciole, and garlic bread down the center of the table. “So, seven weddings? You must be a pretty popular guy.” I maneuvered some antipasto onto my plate and shrugged. “Three of them were relatives, one college fraternity brother, one co-worker, one old friend from the neighborhood. And Trey.” I offered the salad to Morgan, who piled at least as much onto his own plate. “I would have turned down anyone but Trey too, but he has blackmail photos of us naked together in the bathtub.” The antipasto platter hit the table with a thunk. “We were two at the time,” I added, trying to interpret Morgan’s reaction as I bit into a peperoncini. “You and Trey grew up together?” he asked. Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part, but I thought there was a little more interest in his eyes as he watched me cut into a slab of lasagna. “We lived next door to each other from the time we were born until we both got our own places. Both of us have a lot of sisters; we needed to stick together for self-defense—.” An erotic moan broke into my rambling. Morgan had taken a bite of bracciole and was licking the sauce from his lips, generating some purely erotic thoughts on my own part.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett “That’s as good as Tambellini’s back home,” he murmured, a blissful expression on his face. “Sorry, I love Italian food, and somehow I never get out often enough to enjoy it. This is a real treat.” “Dig in,” I advised, slipping a couple of slices of garlic bread onto his plate. I couldn’t help but wonder if Morgan’s passionate response to good food carried over to other areas of his life too. “What about you and Sherrie?” I knew Sherrie had grown up just a few miles further south than Trey and me. “How’d the two of you meet?” “Freshman orientation at Pitt Med. I grew up in a mining town in West Virginia, and Sherrie had just arrived from Chicago, so neither of us knew anyone. We got to talking and since neither of us especially wanted to live in a dorm, we wound up finding an apartment to share together.” “So you’re in nursing too?” I asked. Morgan dipped his head almost bashfully. “Research,” he said. “Molecular pharmacology, actually. I work on experimental drug therapies for pulmonary diseases.” Growing up in coal mining country, I suspected he might have a personal reason for his area of specialization, but I didn’t know him well enough to ask. At least, not yet. I was definitely interested in getting to know him better. “Then should I call you Dr. Mikeska?” I asked instead. “Not if you want me to answer.” He shifted his chair a little and reached across the table for the jug of wine, leaning close enough that I could smell the crisp note of his

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett aftershave. yourself?”

“Just Morgan’s fine.

Are you in medicine

“I teach high school science. league as you.”

Not quite in the same

“Are you kidding? I think that’s terrific. You’re helping shape the future generation of thinkers and leaders.” Morgan poured some wine into both our glasses. “Sometimes I go weeks in the lab without seeing anyone other than my research assistant. You’re influencing your students directly every day.” “Some days with more success than others,” I laughed. Before long I was telling him about some of my more challenging students, and he admitted that he sometimes got frustrated at the slow pace of clinical research. “It can take years before we know if a new drug has potential and years after that before it can be approved for even controlled trials.” Someone bumped my chair, and I looked up to see Trey standing behind us. “You two planning to stay here all night? The rest of us are heading out.” I glanced around to see that most of the table had been cleared except for the spot where Morgan and I sat. We’d been so lost in conversation as we ate that neither of us had noticed. I glanced at my watch and stood up. “I should get going. I’ve got a summer school planning meeting tomorrow.” Morgan stood too, dropping his napkin on the table. “Where are you staying?” I asked, a mental

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett image of Morgan getting ready for bed making me shift against the sudden surge of heat to my groin. “Do you know how to get there from here?” “I’ve got a GPS,” Morgan answered with a smile. “And since I’ve already checked in to the hotel, I know I’ve got the right address this time.” Morgan offered me his hand, his clasp strong and warm against mine. “I’ll look forward to seeing you again, Jack.” “Me too,” I replied, and for the first time in all the weddings I’d stood up in, I was telling the truth.

I

DIDN’T see Morgan for the next two days.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t think about him, at obvious times like when I was soaping myself in the shower, but at less sexually fraught moments too. His comment about influencing my students came back to me when Aaron, my problem child who had a great mind if he’d only focus long enough to apply it, got the highest score in the class on his chemistry final. His intense blue eyes teased at my memory when I drove along Lake Shore Drive Friday afternoon to pick up my wedding present for Trey and Sherrie: executive suite tickets to that fall’s Bears/Packers game at Soldier Field, a luxury they’d never indulge in themselves. I could see why Morgan and Sherrie had hit it off so well. He was intelligent, supportive, with a self-deprecating sense of humor, and he seemed completely unaware of his stunning looks. I was

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett frankly surprised he hadn’t already been snatched up by a possessive partner. Of course, I still didn’t know what sex that prospective partner might be. It didn’t seem as if anything had developed between him and Sherrie during the years they’d lived together, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in women, as much as I might want to interpret it that way. Well, I told myself as I headed south again down the Ryan, maybe I’d find out that night, at Trey’s bachelor party. Kevin Kelly, another neighborhood friend, had offered us private use of his tavern for the night. The lot was already half full when I arrived. Kevin himself was greeting arrivals at the door. “Unless you’re a designated driver, I’ll have your car keys now.” He held out a burly hand when I waved away the marker that would tell the bartenders to serve me only nonalcoholic beverages. I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but I wanted to have at least one beer to commemorate Trey’s last night as a fellow single. “You’ll get them back when we put you in a taxi when you’re ready to leave.” I dropped my keys into his palm and headed inside, ordering a Goose Island before working my way through the knot of men at the far end of the bar where Trey was sitting. I tried not to feel disappointed about not spotting Morgan among them. Trey stood up to pull me into a hug, and we patted each other on the back the way men do when they aren’t sure how to put the emotions they’re feeling into words.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett “Thanks for arranging this, Jack. It’s a great party.” “Just don’t party so much you’ll still be feeling it tomorrow,” I cautioned. Trey nodded toward the glass of water beside his own beer. “Don’t worry, I’m pacing myself. I’ve been waiting for tomorrow too long to want to face it hung over.” Something in my expression must have changed, because Trey hugged me tight again. “You’ll find it one day, Jack,” he assured me. “You’re a great guy. Someone besides me will recognize that eventually.” “Yeah, but you’re already taken, and besides, you’re wired the wrong way.” “No one but you has ever complained about that.” We both grinned, the familiar teasing easing the sense of loss I refused to let impinge on my happiness for Trey. I wasn’t losing my best friend, I reminded myself firmly, but still, things would never be quite the same either. Another voice claiming Trey’s attention broke us out of our hug. Trey turned to greet one of his station mates, and I stepped back, catching sight of a new arrival handing his keys into the bar owner’s safekeeping. Morgan’s eyes met mine, and a smile broke across his face. I lifted my beer to him in greeting, smiling myself as he made his way to my side. “Have any trouble finding the place?” I asked.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett “Never going to let me live that down, are you?” he answered, catching the bartender’s attention. “One of what he’s having,” he ordered. “I think maybe we share the same taste.” I watched Morgan’s throat work as he tilted his head back to sample the beer, wondering if I was letting myself read too much into the comment. “Good,” he decided, examining the label as he added, “I was pretty sure I could trust you.” “Depends,” I answered, trying to sound witty and hoping my voice didn’t betray my body’s surge of hunger, “on what we’re talking about.” Before Morgan could respond, Trey’s ambulance partner, Jimmy Ramirez, caught my eye and pointed to his wrist. Glancing at the time on my own watch, I nodded and waved back. “Duty calls,” I excused myself to Morgan, brushing past him (it was crowded, could I help it if my hip rubbed against his?) and walking to an open space created by pushing the pool table against the wall. Jimmy got everyone’s attention with a couple of piercing whistles. “Thanks to everyone for coming, and I hope you’re all having a good time,” I began. After the cheers and shouts of “Hell, yeah!” died down, I continued. “Of course we’re all here tonight to pay our last respects to Trey Fitzgerald as a single man. Tomorrow he starts a new life as Trey Fitzgerald, husband and maybe, someday, father. So I hope you enjoy sharing his last night of freedom with him.” More applause broke out, and I swallowed down the sense of loss

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett and envy my own words had awakened. “We have some special entertainment coming up. Don’t worry, I didn’t arrange it, Jimmy did,” I added, scattered laughter rippling through the bar. “But before that starts, let’s all raise a toast to the reason we’re here tonight. Trey, health and long life to you, and may your home always be too small to hold all your friends. Sláinte!” Every man in the bar rose to their feet to toast Trey with their drink of choice. Meeting Trey’s eyes over the rest of the crowd, I smiled and drained my beer, surprised at the sting of threatening tears. I blinked them back and made my way to the bar again, where Morgan was still standing. “Nice toast,” he said, clapping me on the shoulder. His blue eyes studied me so intently that I wondered if he noticed my own glassiness. “Why did everyone laugh when you said you didn’t arrange the entertainment?” The sultry opening notes of Springsteen’s “I’m on Fire” sounded from the bar’s sound system, drowning out my answer. A pair of exceptionally endowed young women, dressed in straining-at-the-seams versions of firemen’s uniforms, strutted through the back entrance to the bar and into the open space. Jimmy pulled a barstool to the front of the throng of men and set Trey onto it as the dancers started into their routine. It wasn’t lost on me that Morgan was the only guy other than myself who hadn’t surged forward to get a better view of the “entertainment.” Hoping I wasn’t misreading the situation—and Morgan—completely, I shrugged. “Because

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett half the guys here know I’m gay. This kind of show doesn’t have much appeal for me.” Morgan grinned. “Me either,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “I couldn’t figure out a way to tell for sure, short of just coming out and asking you, and I didn’t want to create any friction between us if it turned out you weren’t.” The thought of the kind of friction I could create with Morgan set my cock thickening. A chorus of catcalls and wolf whistles broke out behind us, not the kind of backdrop I wanted for getting to know Morgan better. “Unless you want to spend the rest of the evening listening to bad jokes about hoses and nozzles, maybe we could find someplace quieter to talk?” “Won’t Trey mind if you leave?” Morgan asked. I glanced over my shoulder at the dancers, whose costumes were already significantly more abbreviated, and shook my head. “I’ve done my duty for the night, and I don’t think he’ll miss us for the next couple of hours, at least.” “Sure, then. Where to?” After assuring Kelly that we were just stepping out for some air and would be back for our keys later, I paused on the sidewalk outside, considering Morgan’s question. “What kind of music do you like?” “Jazz?” Morgan answered hopefully.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett “I wish I’d known. There are some great clubs downtown, but it would take us at least an hour to get there and find parking. Maybe another night?” “I’m heading back to Pittsburgh Sunday.” Morgan sounded regretful.

I thought

“Most of the bars nearby are going to be just as loud and even more crowded,” I mused, running through a mental list of the places I knew within walking distance. “I’m not really much for the bar scene anyway,” Morgan added. “I’d much rather go somewhere quiet where we could just sit and talk.” The perfect place popped into my head. “Still trust me?” I asked. “Yeah, I do.” Morgan fell into step beside me as I turned the corner onto a residential side street. He glanced around, obviously puzzled. “Where are you taking me?” “Right here.” The street dead-ended into a small neighborhood park. The swing sets and jungle gym were deserted, the trees shading the silicon glow of the street lights. A pair of picnic tables sheltered under a small pavilion at the far end off the street. “My grandparents live a few blocks over. They used to bring us here to play whenever we stayed with them.” I smiled at the memory. “Wasn’t until I got older I realized sending us to spend the night with Nana and Pop was the only way my parents got any privacy.”

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett “You come from a big family?” Morgan asked, sitting on the table and stretching his legs over the bench. “Oldest of eight,” I answered, sitting on the table beside him. I rested one foot on the bench and pulled the other up on the table, wrapping my hands around my knee. “What about you?” “One older sister.” He leaned back, his palms behind him, the warm evening breeze ruffling his longish hair. “I sometimes wish I’d had more brothers and sisters. My family isn’t very close-knit, especially since I moved to Pittsburgh.” “Can’t get away from family here,” I chuckled. “Even when you want to.” It was easy to talk with Morgan about our families, our jobs, our experiences of being gay. “I try to stay discreet and not give any ammunition to anyone who might have an issue with a gay teacher,” I admitted. “I haven’t had any problems, but I’m not sure if that’s just because I’m careful.” “I’ve never hidden it, but I’ve never made a point of it either.” Morgan ran a hand through his hair, a gesture I was beginning to recognize signaled nervousness or uncertainty. “To be honest, I don’t go out much. My team thinks I sleep in the lab sometimes, but when I’m in the middle of an assessment, I want to see it all the way through. Like I said, I’m not really comfortable with the bar scene, and….” Morgan shrugged.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett Without thinking about it consciously, I leaned forward, kneeling on the leg resting on the table until I could reach Morgan’s lips. I kissed him gently, pausing when I realized just what I was doing. Morgan didn’t pull away, but he didn’t kiss me back either. His lips were warm and firm and tasted of beer and mint. I let my tongue learn their outline, tracing the seam until they opened enough for the tip of his tongue to meet mine. Resting one hand on the table, I threaded the fingers of the other into Morgan’s hair, combing through the soft strands. Our tongues danced between us, neither of us fighting for dominance, content to taste and explore and retreat. I resisted the urge to push Morgan’s head forward, shifting instead to move my body closer while leaving him the freedom to back away. Instead Morgan turned so that he was leaning on just his left arm, his right grasping my shoulder and pulling me toward him. I opened my mouth to him, moaning softly when his tongue brushed my palate. My fingers tightened, gripping his skull as he kissed me, until we both broke free to gasp for breath. “Damn,” I whispered. “Yeah,” Morgan agreed. We leaned into another kiss, our tongues growing bolder, then our hands, coasting over each other’s shoulders and backs. One or the other of us would turn our head to suck in a breath and then we’d dive back in again, control of

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett the kiss passing between us and back again so naturally it felt instinctual, as if we’d each been born knowing just what the other needed. The blare of a car horn a few streets away finally recalled us to our surroundings. Morgan straightened and I leaned back, massaging the knee I’d been leaning on until circulation returned. I reached for Morgan’s hand, pushing his hair behind his ear with the other. “We should get back.” “Yeah,” Morgan repeated, and then he laughed. seem to have stolen my power of speech.”

“You

We stood from the table and started back down the street, still hand in hand. “Share a cab with me?” I asked as we turned the corner. “My place or yours, doesn’t matter to me.” Morgan stopped, lifting a hand to touch his kissreddened lips. “I don’t—I’m not looking for a one-night stand, Jack.” “Neither am I,” I started to protest, when the realization hit me that that’s all this could be. Morgan was heading back to Pittsburgh on Sunday. We could have tonight, maybe tomorrow, but what then? I was starting to think Morgan and I could build something real between us, but maybe he didn’t feel the same or just wasn’t interested in starting a long-distance relationship. In either case, it didn’t look like I’d have the chance to find out. The though depressed me as much as the fear of losing Trey’s friendship.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett “This isn’t going to make things awkward tomorrow, is it?” Morgan asked softly. “No friction between us,” I promised, trying to turn the moment into a joke, the double-entendre of the words only adding to the unease. The noise of the bar was a welcome relief to the silence between us. Morgan asked Kevin to call him a cab, and I ordered myself a beer I didn’t really want, but it would serve as an excuse for not leaving at the same time as Morgan. Later, in the privacy of my bedroom, when I’d brought myself to climax imaging Morgan’s face, I wondered if he was doing the same.

TREY and Sherrie’s wedding went off flawlessly. The weather was a perfect Chicago early summer day, clear and not too warm, with a gentle breeze off the lake. Sherrie was radiant in her mother’s wedding gown, the added lace a perfect complement to the original design. Trey was leading-man handsome in his black tuxedo. I tried not to dwell on how the formalwear accentuated Morgan’s good looks. We both wore charcoal grey tuxes, Morgan’s with a vest of silver-grey with darker pinstripes while my vest reversed the colors. The fabric accented his broad shoulders and long legs, and I had to stop myself again and again from staring as we escorted the bride’s and groom’s guests to their places in the church.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett I wasn’t as successful during the ceremony itself, our places on opposite sides of the happy couple meaning he was always in the periphery of my vision while I watched Sherrie and Trey exchange their vows to love and support each other all the days of their lives. When they leaned together to share their first kiss as husband and wife, my eyes met Morgan’s, and a flush of color tinted his cheeks. I could feel myself heating as well, remembering our kisses the night before, and was grateful every other gaze in the church was focused on the bride and groom. We spent an hour of torture after the ceremony being posed for formal portraits by the wedding photographer. The pictures with Trey and Sherrie, together and separately, weren’t bad, but the photographer wasn’t quite sure how to deal with a wedding party consisting of two men. He experimented with a variety of poses, having Morgan and I stand side by side, shaking hands, arms around each other’s shoulders. Every touch heightened my awareness of Morgan, and I fought to suppress the outward evidence of my frustrated desire. The last thing I needed was to be captured for posterity sporting a hard-on in Trey’s wedding photos. He had enough blackmail material on me already. “This has to stop,” I told myself as I drove to the country club in the south suburbs for the reception. “Morgan made it clear he wasn’t interested. You just have to make it through the rest of the night, and then you never have to see him again.” The thought didn’t make me feel any better, but maybe it would help to curb my body’s inappropriate responses.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett The banquet food was delicious, and fortunately Morgan was seated on the opposite side of the newlyweds next to Sherrie, so I was able to enjoy my meal without distraction. Trey was, understandably, too wrapped up in Sherrie to spare much attention to me, so I drank champagne until the waiters cleared the table and it was time for me to make the first toast. I’ve always hated the kind of best man who uses his remarks to tell embarrassing stories about the groom (or worse, the bride), and I didn’t think anyone wanted to listen to me ramble, so after I introduced myself and thanked everyone who’d helped put the wedding together, I offered Trey and Sherrie my congratulations and ended with a traditional Irish toast. “May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, And nothing but happiness come through your door.” After everyone drank their champagne, accompanied by plenty of spoons clinking on glasses to encourage the newlyweds to kiss, the DJ started the music, and Trey led Sherrie onto the dance floor. I watched them twirling around, the expressions on both their faces of pure happiness, and glanced up to find Morgan watching me. In a typical wedding, the groomsmen would have started dancing with the bridesmaids by now, leaving Morgan and I standing in awkward limbo. Was this going to be the rest of my life? I wondered. Always standing on the sideline, watching my friends and

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett relatives pairing off in a bond I would never know? The thought weighed in my gut like a stone. Turning away, I headed for the men’s room, hoping I could bring myself under enough control to last the rest of the evening. I was running some cold water to splash on my face when the door opened behind me. Glancing up into the mirror, I saw Morgan’s reflection, staring at me. I turned off the water and turned to face him. Before I could find anything to say, he caught me by the shoulder and pushed me backward into one of the stalls, locking it behind him. “I’ve wanted to do this all day,” he growled before crushing our lips together in a hard kiss. For several long moments I didn’t do anything more than return the kiss, but eventually I came to my senses and realized where we were and what we were doing. “I thought you didn’t want a one-night stand?” I challenged, moving to open the stall door. Morgan caught my hand with his own, holding it still. “I didn’t—I don’t,” he answered, his thumb rubbing over the back of my knuckles in a caress that sent a shiver up my spine. “But I think we could be so much more than that, and watching Sherrie and Trey today convinced me it would be foolish not to try. I hope, after last night, you might feel the same?” I pulled him back into a kiss as my answer, and the spark that flared between us came close to making my knees melt. Morgan backed me against the door, and my arms

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett went around his waist, pulling him against me until our cocks rubbed together and we both groaned. “I want more than this,” Morgan said, shifting to drag against me with the most delicious kind of friction. “Not here,” I protested, though I couldn’t agree with him more. Still, we’d been damn lucky it was too early in the evening for anyone else to need to use the facilities. “I know somewhere we won’t have to worry about being walked in on. Trust me?” Morgan grinned. “Absolutely.” I opened the stall door and pulled him behind me, sparing a glance in the mirror as we passed. We both looked a bit rumpled, but hopefully we’d get through the banquet room before anyone noticed, because I wasn’t about to let go of Morgan long enough to fix anything. A few more couples had joined Trey and Sherrie on the dance floor: Mr. and Mrs. Durgan, Trey’s mother and one of his younger brothers, and some others I didn’t pause long enough to identify. No one seemed to pay any attention as I all but dragged Morgan out the big double doors, though I might have seen Trey flash me a thumbs-up out of the corner of my eye. I led Morgan down the corridor, past the closed registration desk and pro shop, and through a door that led to a set of stairs leading down. “You’re not taking me to make out on the eighteenth green, are you?” Morgan asked, stopping me at the bottom of the stairs to kiss again. “Not that I’d say no at this point.”

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett I nipped at his bottom lip and shook my head. “Trey and I used to caddy here when we were teenagers,” I explained, leading him down the hall to another set of doors. “Locker room,” I announced, propelling him into a space lined with rows of metal lockers and wooden benches. “Complete with showers if we need to clean up after.” Morgan pulled me down onto one of the benches. “I would love to shower with you, but I don’t think we’ll need them here. Unless you were more optimistic than I was, we don’t have any supplies.” I shook my head. “I thought you’d made up your mind; there was no reason to bring anything.” Undaunted, I pulled at the end of his tie, loosening it enough to undo the button of his wing collar. “Not a problem. We don’t need supplies to do this.” I opened the single button of his vest and then worked his shirt studs from their buttonholes, setting them on the bench across from us. Morgan ran his hands up and down my back as I peeled the pin-tucked shirt apart, baring his chest. An inverted triangle of dark hair dusted his pectorals, narrowing to a thin trail that disappeared beneath his cummerbund. I ran my palms up over the skin I’d just uncovered, pausing to tease out the pink buds that poked out of the darker curls. Morgan moaned, and I grinned at him. “Like that? You’ll love this.” Leaning forward, I ran my tongue over one of the hard points, teasing it with my teeth until Morgan groaned out loud. Thrilled at the reaction, I

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett followed suit on the other side of his chest, rolling the first nipple between my fingers, switching sides until both were wet with my saliva and distended from my attention. Soothing them with the pads of my thumbs, I slid my mouth lower, following the path of hair until my nose was burrowing under the waistband of Morgan’s trousers. Glancing up, I saw his head thrown back, features slack. My stopping made him open his eyes, pupils wide, the blue irises cloudy with pleasure. “Just making sure you’re okay with this,” I answered his wordless question. “Mmnn, don’t stop,” he rumbled, weaving a hand into my hair to encourage me to continue. His fingertips massaged my scalp as I found the placket of his trousers and eased down the zipper. His cock strained against the front of his briefs; I could feel his blood pulsing through it as I worked a hand inside to guide it free. He hissed as my fingers closed around his shaft, sliding up the silken skin, my thumb smearing the bead of fluid that welled from the tip. “Don’t tease, Jack,” Morgan pleaded. I’d never felt less like teasing in my life; the only thing I wanted to do was keep that haze of pleasure clouding his eyes. I lowered my head, licking away the welling pre-come, the salty taste whetting my appetite for more. Closing my lips around the domed head of his cock, I ran my tongue around the defining ridge. Morgan’s fingers tightened in my hair. I let him push deeper into my mouth, taking more of

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett him inside until my lips were brushing the white cotton briefs. I slid up enough to let me spread the placket wider, coaxing his balls into my palm, cradling them as I took him down again. Morgan’s breath was growing uneven, each exhale a hum of pleasure, each inhale a gasp. The hand in my hair moved erratically against my scalp; his free hand found its way beneath the tails of my jacket, tugging up my shirt until it could slip underneath to caress the skin of my back. I sucked harder, finding a steady up and down rhythm that soon had Morgan pumping his hips in time. “So good,” he rasped, his voice deepened to a tone I planned to hear a lot more of in the future. “So close, Jack….” Bracketing his groin with my hands, I slipped my thumbs under the weight of his balls, gently massaging the smooth skin below. Morgan stiffened and tried to pull back. I pressed down with my palms, holding him deep in my mouth, swallowing around him as he pulsed out his climax. Only when he was slack with repletion did I let his cock slide from between my lips. Morgan groaned, untangling his hand from my hair and urging me up to meet his mouth in a passionate kiss. He pushed the jacket from my shoulders, pulling the tails of my shirt from my cummerbund, sliding his hands beneath without bothering to unbutton it. “Lie down,” he urged, easing me back along the length of the wooden bench and following me down, his lips skating

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett along my ribs, nipping around the circumference of my navel. “Now who’s the tease?” I grumbled. “Swing your leg over the bench,” Morgan instructed. Careful not to kick him, I did so, unfastening my trousers and shoving them down to my hips in the process. Morgan straddled the bench facing me, snickering as he leaned forward and spotted my heart-embroidered silk boxers. “I wear them to all the weddings I stand up for,” I told him. “For luck.” “We both hit the jackpot this time,” Morgan replied before returning every bit of pleasure I’d given him and teaching me a few new erogenous zones in the process. After wringing an orgasm that had me shouting his name loud enough to rattle the locker doors, Morgan collapsed against my chest, nuzzling my skin until our heartbeats settled back into a normal cadence. “I suppose we ought to go back upstairs before they miss us,” I murmured. “Come back to my hotel with me tonight?” Morgan pushed up just enough to hold my gaze. “I was an idiot to turn you down last night.” “Only if we stop at a Walgreens on the way,” I countered. “We need supplies for what I plan to do to you.”

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett “That works both ways, lover.” Morgan sat up, tucking himself back into his trousers. “There are a few things I’d like to do to you too.” “Is that what we are?” I paused, tugging my shirt down before tucking the tails back into my slacks. “Lovers?” I liked the sound of that, but I still hoped for more. “It’s a good place to start.” Morgan held my gaze as he refastened the studs up the front of his pleated shirt. “I’ve got some vacation time; I can come back for a visit, or you can come stay with me any weekend you’re free.” He refastened his vest and tugged his jacket straight. “If we’re as good together as it’s been so far, we’ll find a way to make it work.” I zipped up my trousers and slung my jacket over my shoulder, stepping forward until I was close enough to draw Morgan into a kiss. “You’re right. Something this good is worth working for.” “You’re going to have to help me redo this tie before we go upstairs.” Morgan waved the length of black silk in front of my face. “It took me an hour to get it right the first time.” “Yes, dear,” I acceded, turning him so I could wrap my arms around him from behind. “Every good bridesmaid knows how to retie a groomsman’s tie.” “I thought I was the bridesmaid?” Morgan chuckled. “Anyway, I hope this is the last groomsman’s tie you have to deal with. I’d rather keep you for myself from now on.”

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MORGAN proved to be right, as he usually is. The next time I needed to deal with a bow tie was a year later, for our own commitment ceremony.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett

Growing up in Chicago, NICKI BENNETT spent every Saturday at the central library, losing herself in the world of books. A voracious reader, she eventually found it difficult to find enough of the kind of stories she liked to read and decided to start writing them herself.

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett

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Always a Bridesmaid ♥ Nicki Bennett

Always a Bridesmaid ©Copyright Nicki Bennett, 2009 Published by Dreamspinner Press 4760 Preston Road Suite 244-149 Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Design by Mara McKennen This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ Released in the United States of America June, 2009

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