A baba wedding

A BABA WEDDING CHEO KIM BAN

This is a fascimile edition of the book first published in 1983.

First published in 1983 by Eastern Universities Press Sdn. Bhd. This facsimile edition with new cover published in 2009 Copyright © Kenneth Cheo Kim Ban Wedding Photography: Kang Teck Lye Additional Photography: Yim Chee Peng, Tham Keng Hoong Published by Marshall Cavendish Editions An imprint of Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited A member of Times Publishing Limited All rights reserved No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Request for permission should be addressed to the Publisher, Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited, 1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196.Tel: (65) 6213 9300, fax: (65) 6285 4871. E-mail: [email protected]. Website: www.marshallcavendish.com/genref The publisher makes no representation or warranties with respect to the contents of this book, and specifically disclaims any implied warranties or merchantability or fitness for any particular purpose, and shall in no events be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damage, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. Other Marshall Cavendish Offices Marshall Cavendish Ltd. 5th Floor 32–38 Saffron Hill, London EC1N 8FH • Marshall Cavendish Corporation. 99 White Plains Road, Tarrytown NY 10591-9001, USA • Marshall Cavendish International (Thailand) Co Ltd. 253 Asoke, 12th Flr, Sukhumvit 21 Road, Klongtoey Nua, Wattana, Bangkok 10110, Thailand • Marshall Cavendish (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd, Times Subang, Lot 46, Subang Hi-Tech Industrial Park, Batu Tiga, 40000 Shah Alam, Selangor Darul Ehsan, Malaysia Marshall Cavendish is a trademark of Times Publishing Limited

National Library Board Singapore Cataloguing in Publication Data Cheo, Kim Ban, 1929A baba wedding / Cheo Kim Ban. – Singapore : Marshall Cavendish Editions, 2009. p. cm. First published in 1983. ISBN-13 : 978-981-261-757-6 ISBN-10 : 981-261-757-4 1. Peranakan (Asian people) – Marriage customs and rites – Malaysia – Malacca (State) 2. Peranakan (Asian people) – Malaysia – Malacca (State) – Social life and customs. 3. Marriage customs and rites – Malaysia – Malacca (State) 4. Malacca (State) – Social life and customs. I. Title. GT2779 392.508995105951 -- dc22 Printed in Singapore by Times Graphics Pte Ltd

OCN271314125

To my late parents Mr & Mrs Cheo Kang Whye

Contents

List of Plates vi Message to Facsimile Edition ix Author’s Preface x Foreword xiii Chan Family History xiv 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Baba Heritage Matchmading Wedding Preparations Chiu Thau Chim Pang Sah Jit (Tiga Hari) Chian Sia Duabelas Hari Chian Ching Kay, Che Umm Epilogue

Appendix I The Sireh Darah Appendix II The Household Alter

1 13 25 43 65 77 87 91 95 99

103 107

List of Plates

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

Doors of bridal sedan chair vi Bride and bridegroom, 1960s xii Bride’s Chiu Thau ceremony xvi Wu-pei-chih chart 2 Baba fashions 5 Baba wedding, 1930s 6 Penang Baba wedding 10 Teenage Nyonya 12 Beaded belts 15 Beaded belt (detail) 16 Reddi and carriers 17 Alighting from a Reddi 17 A page from The Book of Fate 20 A papercut 22 Kueh ih 24 Baba lanterns 27 Bridal bed hanging 28 Bridal bed hanging 29 Bridal chamber 30 Silver bolster and pillow ends 33 Mr Yeo Kim Swee and serunee instruments 37

22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39

Bride paying respects before altar 39 Sang Kheh Umm and Bukak Koon assisting bride 41 Sam kai altar 42 Mr Tan Chye Choon preparing chien hup 46 Decorated chien hup 46 Pasang Liling 48 Bridegroom’s Chiu Thau ceremony 51 Bride’s Chiu Thau hairdo 53 Bridal skirt (detail) 54 Bridal hairpins (detail) 55 Bridal hairdo and crown 55 Preparing the bride’s crown 56 Accessories of bridal costume 58 Bridal jacket and skirt 59 Leggings and embroidered kneepads 61 Bridegroom’s wedding costume 63 The bridegroom meets his bride 64 Ki Beh ceremony 67

40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58

Bride’s giving away ceremony 68 Bearers in Pak Boyan costumes 71 The bridegroom 73 Unveiling the bride 75 Bride paying respects 76 Page girl being helped into sedan chair 78 Sedan chair procession 79 Arrival of bride’s party 81 Page girl welcoming bride 82 Bridegroom and page boy 85 Bride groom with Sin Seh and Pak Chindek 86 Bride holding formal handkerchief 89 Essentials for Duabelas Hari 90 Two Nyonyas 94 An extended family 97 The bridegroom feeds the bride 98 Phoenix cape 100 Sireh Darah 102 Kuan Kong and his two blood

59 60 61 62 63 64

brothers 106 Family altar 109 Embroidered chair cover 111 The bridegroom paying respects endpiece Sleeve of bridal jacket (detail) endpapers Bridal jacket (detail) backcover Bride and groom frontcover

Message to Facsimile Edition

I am very glad to be able to write the message for this heritage reprint edition of A Baba Wedding. I have known the author Kenneth Cheo for many years; before he even started research for this book. Kenneth, a Baba from Malacca has always had a strong passion for Peranakan heritage and culture. He was always talking to our elders to understand and learn about our traditions, the significance of the various ceremonies and the subtle differences between the Peranakans of Malacca, Penang and Singapore. A Baba Wedding was first published in 1983 and, over the years, it has become an important reference for many as it was among the first few printed resource guides on Peranakan culture. The book inspired academic research and also introduced our culture to many readers. It also brought back fond memories for those of us who have been fortunate to participate in a Peranakan wedding. Recently, there has been a surge of interest in Peranakan culture and this revival is the product of various events and activities.

Well-received temporary exhibitions at the local museums resulted in the establishment of the Peranakan Museum by the Asian Civilisations Museum and the NUS Rumah Baba Project, both in 2008. The support of the Singapore Tourism Board has also led both local and international media to promote the culture through print publications, electronic media and television. I am heartened to see that the younger generation are interested in wearing the sarong kebaya as well as collecting artefacts of our culture. They also show a keen interest to learn about the customs and rituals of Peranakans. I’m glad to say that Peranakan culture still alive and well today! I would like to congratulate Marshall Cavendish for initiating the reprint of A Baba Wedding and introducing our heritage to a new generation of readers. Baba Peter Wee 1 Vice-President The Peranakan Association Owner, Katong Antique House December 2008 St

Author’s Preface

I am greatly indebted to members of my family, my relatives and the many friends who not only gave me every encouragement, but also active support in many ways. However. I am especially indebted to the late Mr. Yeo Juay Tee, J.P. of Malacca. He was a veritable mine of information on the legends, tradition and customs relating to the Baba Wedding. He was not just a bystander and much of his information is based on his active part in the various ceremonies, first as bridegroom, next as parent, then as grandparent and later as a much respected eider and adviser. His experience ran into decades and his accounts were very useful, especially in the details of procedures, ceremonial items, serunee music and wedding costumes. He was a delightful, old gentleman to work with and I spent many spellbound hours listening to him at “Villa Marina”, Klebang, Malacca. Another gentleman and an old friend of mine who has been very helpful and cooperative in the most unselfish manner

is Mr. Yeo Kim Swee of Tranquerah. Malacca. His knowledge and experience of the Baba Wedding ranges from the general to the most minute detail and he is the only man alive in both Singapore and Malacca, who not only knows a lot about serunee music but also plays the main instrument. Among his many attributes, he is, also, an accomplished Dondang Sayang singer and any conversation with him is bound to be punctuated with suitable pantuns (quatrains in Malay) to accentuate some points he wishes to make. Whereas, the two gentlemen mentioned in the previous paragraphs filled me with a wealth of background information, another Malacca supporter and old school friend who gave me his unstinted help is Mr. Chan Yew How, BKT, PJK. LL.B (Hons.) All the photographs of the actual wedding scenes, were taken at the wedding of his nephew, Mr. Kenny Chan on 13th December, 1981 in Malacca. These photographs and those of the sets of ceremonial costumes of the

bride and bridegroom are reproduced in this book with Mr. Chan Yew How’s kind permission. It may seem a very simple and straightforward thing to get permission to photograph what is needed for a book, but there are many constraints. For example, there are in Malacca, quite a number of families who still have their own sets of ceremonial costumes, artifacts, etc.. but who fight shy of having them photographed for publication purposes for various good reasons of their own and this attitude extends even to the publication of old photographs. Of course, this reticence of theirs must be respected, but it is mentioned here to emphasise, in contrast, how very generously and freely, Mr. Chan Yew How has shared his treasures with us for he understands that this is not for the sake of getting publicity for himself or his family but for the encouragement of a deeper and greater appreciation of Baba culture in which he and so many of us are deeply interested.

In the course of thanking him, I must, of course, not forget to thank the bride and bridegroom, Mr. & Mrs. Kenny Chan. There are, of course, many others who helped me in one way or another and I thank each and everyone of them with all my heart. Cheo Kim Ban, Kenneth Singapore 1983

xi

Foreword

The traditional Baba wedding epitomises the cultural heritage of this unique community which emerged in what was then the Straits Settlements. In Singapore and Penang, this colourful and central aspect of Baba culture is sadly fading into oblivion although in Malacca the tradition is still occasionally observed in an abbreviated form. The ceremonies are being kept alive within those older Baba families fortunate enough to have preserved the appropriate regalia. Costumes and ritual objects alone do not make a Baba Wedding. The heart and soul of the nuptial are to be found in the observance and understanding of the proper rituals, the significant details and procedures of which are now. more than ever, becoming increasingly obscure. This is because the elaborate arrangements of the wedding in the past were chiefly the domain of a few specialists whose knowledge was transmitted through an oral tradition. It is therefore opportune that Kenneth

Cheo has researched deeply into this fascinating subject, thus helping to save the essential part of our cultural heritage. I believe that this book will play its part in preserving, and hopefully reviving, the traditional wedding ceremonies of a unique community which evolved in historic Malacca, the heartland of Baba culture. Charles K.K. Chua Malacca 1983

Chan Family History

Kenny Chan Kim Yean, the bridegroom in the photographs in this book, is a sixth generation Malaccan Baba. His great-great-great grandfather, a Tang Hwa Hokkien, first sailed to Malacca as a newcomer from China in 1820, just one year after the founding of Singapore. Malacca was then already a British settlement after having seen Portuguese and Dutch rule. There, a Baba community had evolved and was thriving. This patriach of the Chan family sunk his roots deeply into Malaccan soil when he married a Nyonya and raised his children the way only Babas knew how. Forty short years from the time the first of the clan disembarked alongside Malacca River, the third generation of the Chan scion was born. Chan Leong Toh (1860-1922), like his father before him, married within the Baba community. He succeeded in business and built an ancestral home in fashionable Heeren Street where distinguished Baba

families still live. By the turn of the century he had raised four sons. The youngest is still remembered by his nickname, Bachik — a popular Baba name which simply means “the youngest Baba in the family”. The eldest son of that generation was Chan Hong Teck (1890-1961). Educated at the historic Malacca High School, he became a schoolmaster and taught school, colonial style, till his retirement. Chan Hong Teck had six sons: Chan Yew Hock (deceased), Chan Yew Lock, Chan Sin Hock, Chan Yew Chay, Chan Yew Peng and Chan Yew How. Sin Hock was given the name Yew Lay at birth but having a weak constitution as a child and upon consultation with a temple, his name was changed to bring about better health. This practice was one which was widely accepted in Baba circles. Kenny, Kim Yearn, Yew Lock’s only son, is the eldest of the sixth generation of his family. Baba blood runs thick in his veins. Besides choosing to marry a true-

blue Nyonya in traditional style, he has started, with two friends, the only Nyonya food restaurant in Malacca. It has a typical Baba name — Oleh Sayang — “The Gift of Love”, a nuance not inappropriate for one who will be responsible for the preservation of family and heritage in the seventh and succeeding generations of his clan.

xv

1 Baba Heritage

The Chiu Thau ceremonies when each of the bridal couple was puri¿ed and initiated into adulthood formed the core of Baba wedding rituals.

The wedding ceremonies described in this book are basically of Chinese origin brought from the southern Chinese Province of Fukien to Malacca on the west coast of Peninsular Malaysia. The descendants of these Chinese, known as Babas, carried the ceremonies across the Straits of Johore to Singapore when some of them established branches of the Malacca families after the founding of Singapore in 1819. The ceremonies, therefore, are unique to the Babas of Malacca and Singapore and must not be confused with those of their counterparts in Penang. The Babas of Penang were different in many ways, as shall be explained later. Where the Babas of Malacca and Singapore are concerned, many theories have been advanced as to their origin and their evolvement from the early Chinese settlers of Malacca to the Babas of today. In this context, Victor Purcell states in his examination of Chinese settlements in Malacca, that there are three important periods in the history of Malacca and Singapore. He lists them as follows: (1) the Malacca Sultanate up to 1511 (2) the Portuguese rule up to 1641

1

The 15th century Wu-pei-chih charts that showed Chinese sailors the way to Nanyang identifies Malacca as નՖࡍ. and (3) the Dutch and British rules up to the end of British influence and prestige in 1941 with the fall of the fortress of Singapore to the Japanese. In elaboration, Purcell writes that “during the rule of the Malacca Sultans, there were already Chinese in Malacca but there is no record of a big, permanent Chinese community. The Chinese at that time were ‘birds of passage”, staying in Malacca only

2

long enough until the end of the north-east monsoon when the changing winds could take them back to China. However. Malay historians recorded that during the reign of Sultan Mansur Shah (1459-1477), five hundred Chinese youths who accompanied the Chinese princess who was given in marriage to the Sultan were given a hill near the town for their village. This hill, known until today as Bukit Cina, has the biggest

Chinese cemetery outside China. One theory is that the Babas are descendants of those five hundred youths. The Portuguese records were not clear enough about the size and the permanency of the Chinese during their rule although their maps showed a section of Malacca Town as Kampong China. The Dutch however encouraged the Chinese to come as they needed them not only for trade but also to help them rebuild Malacca after the devastation caused by their siege of Malacca in 1641.*

It is interesting to note that the oldest Chinese temple in this region was founded in Malacca in 1704 during the Dutch rule. This is the Cheng Moon Teng devoted to the Goddess of Mercy. There must have been a large permanent community of Chinese at that time prosperous enough not only 10 build a temple but also to bring craftsmen from China to do so. Dutch rule also brought to Malacca other races from the Dutch East Indies: people such as the Balinese, Javanese, Amboynese, Sundanese * Victor Purcell Chinese Settlements in Malacca JMBRAS. Vol. XX. Part 1, 1947, p117

and others from various parts of Sumatra. They came to work not only for the Dutch but also for the rich Baba families. Others came as traders and settlers. Many of these people were not Muslims (e.g. the Balinese and the Bataks of Sumatra). Therefore, the favourite theory that the Babas are the result of inter-marriages between the Chinese and the “Malays” could in fact mean the inter-marriages of the Chinese and those non-Muslim people from the Dutch East Indies. This is plausible as there are Malacca families with the tradition of having Balinese and Batak women ancestors and since this is not considered as a disgrace, it is possible that there are other families with similar “Malay” ancestry. There are also Malacca families with women ancestors who were descendants of old Malacca Hindu families who, like the Babas, had lost contact with their mother country and spoke Malay as their mother tongue. These are the Malacca Chittys. The truth may be that the Babas sprung up from the unions between Chinese and Balinese, Bataks or Malacca Chittys. With the advent of the British, the founding of Singapore and the opening of the Malay States, the Babas increased their wealth and influence. This was especially the result of the education of their sons in English schools, colleges and universities. By 1913, a Western observer regarded them as the most highly educated and the most influential section of the Chinese community in the British possessions. This influence and prestige resulted in the infusion of fresh Chinese blood as the meritorious among the males of the new immigrants were inducted into Baba families. These, at first, came only from the Hokkien newcomers, but later on

4

bridegrooms were also chosen from the rest of the southern-Chinese immigrants. The Babas therefore are Chinese of mainly Hokkien origin descended from the intermarriage of early Malacca Chinese with local women of various races with their Chinese blood re-inforced by marriage with Chinese immigrants who came in the latter half of the 19th Century. They no longer spoke the dialect of their ancestors but a language of their own known as Baba Malay. This consists mainly of Malay words and phrases used in the Hokkien dialect structure with a smattering of Hokkien words and phrases. Sometimes, one or two Portuguese and Indian words are also thrown in. Where their clothes were concerned, the men continued to wear Chinese clothes: soft Chinese shoes, trousers cut in the Chinese style, Chinese jackets with cloth buttons and Chinese caps with red cloth knobs on top. They also sported queues. This mode of dressing continued until the first decade of this century. With the Chinese revolution which resulted in the cutting of the queue and the popularity of Western clothes, two styles emerged. The more stylish wore the jacket and a bow or tie, well-pressed trousers, Western shoes and hats which were either straw ones or the hombergs. Some wore the more Colonial cork-hats. The more conservative wore the “closed coat”, with four pockets, five buttons and two studs at the collar, Western trousers, leather shoes and felt hats. The womenfolk or Nyonyas wore long kebayas reaching below the knees. These loose outer garments were cut all the way down the front and had long sleeves which were narrow at the wrists. The front

This Baba gentleman, the bridegroom s great-grandfather wears Chinese jacket and trousers in this portrait taken with his sons. The young men wear western clothes of several styles in vogue during the 1920s (Courtesy Mr Chan Yew How).

5

The author’s eldest brother on his wedding day. He is dressed in Manchu style with a conical hat. The page girl correctly wears a beaded headdress and not one similar to the bride. was fastened by three brooches known as krosangs. Under these kebayas which were known as baju panjang — Malay words meaning “long dress” — they wore jackets with high collars. From the waist down the Nyonyas wore sarongs of various qualities depending on the occasion. The sarongs were usually of batik. The modern Nyonyas later wore the Chinese samfoo, which they called Baju Shanghai and the cheongsam at more formal occasions. Some Nyonyas

6

of today still wear kebayas but these are the short embroidered ones. The hair of the Nyonyas was done in coils knotted in a special manner and fixed with two large gold hairpins about six inches long and a shorter pin with a diamond studded floral head. This hairstyle was known as sanggul tiga batang as three hairpins were used or sanggul Melaka, since it originated from Malacca. Another hair-style was the small informal knot known as the sanggul

siput, the “snail knot”, since the knot looked like the shell of a snail. The sanggul dua or the “two knots” was another style. For the more daring, the “bobbed hair”, cut and waved with hot irons, following the style of the Roaring Twenties, was the vogue. Of course those with the Western hair-style would wear modern clothes. The ladies had certain traditions to follow when they went out. For example, for weddings and other gala occasions, the Nyonyas wore slippers of gold and silver thread while for ordinary outings, they put on beaded slippers. When they attended weddings, the clothes and jewellery were different from those worn at funerals. For weddings, clothes were colourful and as much jewellery as possible was worn. The hairdo would be adorned with either fresh or artificial flowers. Married women wore flowers on either side of their hairdos whereas widows wore the flowers on one side only. Gold and diamonds were mandatory for weddings but for funerals, only silver, pearls or jade were worn. In fact, well-to-do ladies usually had many sets of jewellery; those for the home, those for stepping out, those for weddings and happy occasions and even one for funerals. At wakes, the ladies would wear black or somber clothes depending on the relationship with the deceased. Close friends and distant relations would wear clothes made of cloth known as kain chayluy, which is a coarse colton of grey and dark grey stripes; or light blue, green or black and white clothes. The slippers and other accessories would of course, match the type of clothes worn for the occasion. The food of the Babas is a mixture of Malay, Chinese, Indian and even Eurasian

dishes. Some dishes which are special only to them are known as Nyonya food. The food is eaten with fingers, chopsticks or fork and spoon depending on the dish served. Nyonya cakes are well known for their tastiness and are usually made of either glutinous or polished rice, in grain or flour form. Some cakes are made of tapioca, yam or black glutinous rice known as pulot hitam. Nyonya cakes are rich in coconut milk and the making of them is often a painstaking process. Tradition dictates that certain cakes are made for certain occasions; certain cakes are considered too common to be served for grand occasions and are eaten only for pleasure at home. Nyonya food and cakes are well-known in Malaysia and Singapore and many people have taken advantage of this popularity to market commercially what they purport to be the real thing. They are, sometimes as authentic as ground toasted corn is to real coffee beans. This talk of food reminds me of the time when I visited a Chinese family in northern Malaysia. They had heard that I was a Baba and they were not sure whether it was alright to serve me pork and whether I could use chopsticks. At that time, I did not know whether to be offended or be amused, In the end, I saw that they were just anxious to be good hosts and I left it at that. This is a good illustration as any of the gap which exists between the Babas and the “ChinaChina” or Sinkeh — Chinese who came to the Straits much later and who were much more Chinese in their outlook, loyalties and wav of life. Any description of the Babas without some account of their beliefs and religious practices would be incomplete. Their basic religious

7

beliefs and practices are the same as the rest of the Chinese. They worship the same gods and goddesses in the same way, follow the same festivals such as the Chinese New Year, Cheng Beng, the Fifth Moon Festival when special dumplings wrapped in bamboo leaves are eaten, the Seventh Moon Festival when offerings are made to placate wandering and hungry ghosts and the Eleventh Moon Festival of the Winter Equinox when round red and white glutinous rice balls are eaten in a syrup. Among the Babas, ancestor worship is very important and they are very particular about the food served, the arrangement of the offerings on the table and the rites to be followed. The ancestors are worshiped at least three times a year — on Chinese New Year’s Eve, during the period ten days before and ten days after the Cheng Beng Festival and any time during the Seventh Moon. Those with ancestral tablets kept at home, worship on other days as well, such as anniversary dates of the births and deaths of the ancestors. On the last day of Chinese New Year or Chap Goh Meh a special offering of glutinous rice, coconut egg custard and a dish of yam, sweet potatoes (carefully carved to look like lady’s fingers) and bananas cooked in coconut milk known as pengat is offered. This special offering is called sembayang nasi pulot. Other days of worship are the birthdays of the various gods and goddesses and the festival days of the Buddhists such as Vesak Day. The Babas often consult the temples for the ordering of their daily lives: during illnesses, when family problems arise, for weddings and before business ventures. The very superstitious among them also consult the deities for the best date and

8

hour to leave the house for the more serious occasions such as wedding ceremonies and the erection of tombstones, to the slightest errand. Apart from the various Chinese gods and goddesses, the Babas, especially the women, do not hesitate to follow the practices of other religions and superstitions. They go to Hindu temples and offer coconuts and bananas to the priests for prayers, daub the sacred powder on their foreheads, take home pieces of the charcoal from the pit used for the fire-walking and observe all the taboos when visiting the temples. When necessary, they consult Malay Bomohs and pa-wangs, visit and pray at the shrines of holy Muslims, known as kramat and abstain from eating pork a few days before visiting such shrines, When their wishes have been granted, they pay their vows at such places by offering cooked yellow glutinous rice or nasi kunyit with all the attendant dishes and take home pieces of the incense, called kemeyan, for good luck. On Palm Sunday and Good Friday, they visit the Roman Catholic Churches and where there are processions, they follow the figures of Christ and the Virgin Mary, carrying lighted candies in their hands, thus upholding Christ as one of their many deities. Baba courtesy and etiquette are based on the Chinese traditional rules of conduct and also on the Malay adat or custom. Chinese kinship rules prevailed and it was considered all-important to the Babas; the modern ways of calling everybody “aunty” or “uncle” was frowned upon. As they say, “Just because a man has a beard, he is nor necessarily your grandpa”. Not surprisingly, therefore, kinship was part of the social graces taught at an early

age. Malay adat played an equally important part in Baba social life. Children were taught not to barge through a gathering of elders or be within hearing distance of their conversation. Cocking of legs in the presence of elders or sitting with the feet pointed towards them amounted to discourtesy. Habits showing respect which included getting up and offering a seat to elders when they entered a room was stressed. Further to this, the use of betel-leaves in many of the ceremonies and the use of yellow rice and scented water during weddings were also practised. Above all, the Babas placed a special importance on one’s words, tone and manner. It reflected on how well one had been brought up and made the difference whether one was halus (well-mannered and refined) or kasar (rough and ill-bred). To be considered tak tau adat — ignorant of custom — was worse than to be considered anything else. It was the body of such unwritten rules and regulations practised instinctively by Baba families that separated them from their brethren, who because of their un-familiarity with Malay adat were considered kasar. This was one of the major reasons why Baba families before World War II did not favour marriages outside Baba circles. The rules governing the social conduct of the Babas were even more strict where their womenfolk were concerned. The Nyonyas had to learn the correct way to serve the elders, especially the in-laws; how to dress immaculately and with aplomb and how and when to apply the sembah (a Malay greeting where one got down to one’s knees and raised one’s palms pressed together to the level of one’s forehead). They had to walk gracefully and never sat cross-legged but

always discreetly with their legs tucked to one side. When they referred to themselves, they would have said “saya” instead of the rough Hokkien “gua”. These are, of course, only a few of the unwritten rules the sum of which are too many to enumerate. The description so far has been about the Babas of Malacca and Singapore. What of the Penang Babas and how did they differ culturally from their Malaccan and Singaporean cousins? Whereas the southern Babas speak the Baba patois, the Penang Babas speak a variety of Hokkien known as Penang Hokkien. In marriage and other Chinese customs, the practices are basically the same as both are derived from the same Hokkien heritage. However, differences still can be seen. An example can be found in the wedding head dress. The Penang bride wore a hat-like crown of poms-poms and tassels. The bridal headgear on exhibit in the National Museum in Singapore is of this type. The southern brides’ “crowns” however, were made up of individual pins of different lengths embellished with flowers of different shapes and sizes made of gold, silver and diamonds. The Penang Nyonyas also wore different hairdos. Their coiffure were smaller and flatter and they wore five to seven smaller and shorter hairpins. This hairdo is similar to the hairdos of Kedah or Perak Malay nobility of the 19th or early 20th Century. The southern Nyonyas wore bigger buns with only three hairpins and the hair at the nape was shaped to jut out prominently. Both communities of Babas however, formed part of the community known as the Straits Chinese. These were people who were born and bred in the Straits Settlements of

9

Penang. Malacca and Singapore. However, it must be clear that not all Straits Chinese are Babas. Regardless of the fact, the pure Chinese people enumerated among the Straits Chinese had a number of things in common with the Babas. They were fiercely loyal to the country of their birth (i.e. the Straits Settlements). They always looked on the Straits as their homeland and during World War II, they fought and many died for King and Country. In spite of what some people say about their affinity to the land of their ancestors, they did not, for example, dream of going back to China to be buried there or to re-establish the family fortunes. While they admired and acknowledged their Chinese heritage, their roots were firmly set in the soil of the Straits Settlements. It is in this context of affinity therefore, that Baba culture evolved and thrived to become the romantic and colourful heritage that is peculiar to the region.

A Penang Baba wedding was different from that of Malacca and Singapore in many respects. The bride’s headgear was a hatlike, pom-pom covered crown with a veil of beads. Unlike Malaccan Baba weddings, the bridal couple was attended by two page girls and page boys.

10

11

12

2 Matchmaking

Photographs similar to this one of a teenage nyonya during the 1930s were used by matchmakers as they shuttled to and from Baba households bringing families together in matrimony.

Matchmaking was not peculiar to the Babas, or the Chinese as the practice was also found in other Asian cultures. What was peculiar to the Babas was the admixture of Chinese and Malay practices in the matchmaking process. The Chinese bearing could be seen in such things as the concern with family surnames, the consultation of the Chinese almanac and deities, the exchange of horoscopes, the exchange of red candles and its attendant ceremony and also the form of payment to the matchmaker herself, The Malay influence was seen in the language used throughout the proceedings, for not only its form, but also its manner, was very similar to the way Malay elders phrase their words in matchmaking. Right up, in some cases, to World War II, young men and women were not allowed to mix socially except among very close relations. Girls were cloistered as soon as they reached twelve and training in the social graces began in earnest. This training was in language, dressing, deportment, culinary skills, sewing, and etiquette according to Chinese and Malay traditions. In language, she was taught the correct

13

words and phrases used in addressing elders — always in die gentle tone and manner befitting a genteel lady. In dressing, she was told what clothes to wear for each occasion and how to match her long jacket with her sarong, the right way to fold and fasten the latter and the kind of slippers and jewellery to complete her ensemble. Her hairdo had to be just right, not too big nor too small and every hair in place. She had to learn how to string the various kinds of flowers to wear either around or on either side of her hairstyle. In deportment, she had to carry herself well, tread gently and gracefully, sit properly on a chair or on the floor or platform and know how and where to place her hands when sitting down. The ability to cook the basic dishes necessary for the various festivals and worship of the ancestors was mandatory. Apart from these, she also had to learn to cook as many dishes as possible. Cake-making was itself a daily practice and since Nyonya cakes took a lot of time to prepare, she was kept very busy pounding, grinding, scraping, squeezing and baking. Where glutinous rice was used, nimble fingers had to patiently sort the polished rice grains inadvertantly mixed with glutinous rice; this was to ensure that the cakes would not have a gritty texture. She also had to learn which flowers or leaves to use in colouring the cakes either black, green or blue. The products of a Nyonya maiden’s sewing basket were nor only for herself but also for her mother and elders — and that meant sewing every stitch by hand. She had to learn to tailor clothes as well as to be skilful in working beads on cloth for her own slippers and to embroider many things. Of course, the home-training include washing, ironing

14

Two unusual beaded belts, one with a typical silver buckle, show off the intricate needlework of Nyonya maidens of days gone by. Manek potong or faceted beads were used to good effect such that the beadwork shimmered with the wearer’s gait.

15

The cavorting lion design of this beadwork is one which also appears on tok wee (altar cloth) panels. The reddi was the hammock-like transportation which Nyonya matriarchs devised to keep their precious female charges out of public view. A little discomfort was not considered too high a price to pay for modesty in those days.

16

and sweeping the floor. All these were taught even though the family had servants and cooks, for the thinking behind it was that unless she knew how to perform these tasks herself, she could not supervise the servants and run her own household properly. A Nyonya maiden was never seen alone in public. When she went out visiting (and that was mainly to a relative’s home) she would be chaperoned. When travelling by car, rickshaw or gharry, the vehicles would be screened on all sides by curtains. Upon arrival, they would be brought as close to the main door as possible and the women would make a dash for it, except, of course, the older married ones. In earlier days, there was a curious form of transport called the reddi. It was a gunny sack opened up and tied at each end to a strong pole to form a hammock. Both ends of the pole were carried by-men who were usually Amboynese. A single lady passenger stepped into the hammock, sat down and hung onto the pole with both hands. It was then lifted by the pole and carried on the shoulders of the carriers. To ensure privacy, the hammock would be covered by a roof-like cover of palm leaves known as a kajang before it left the house. This cover, mercifully, had small windows on each side for the passenger to peep out. The reddi could now leave the house — escorted by an Ah Sum or amah, carrying an umbrella and whatever gifts were to be brought. The reddi had the added advantage of being able to be carried right into the house of the hostess and only then did its passenger step out. It was therefore welt-nigh impossible for young men of those days to catch even a glimpse of young girls from other families.

17

Under such circumstances, it was necessary to have a matchmaker to act as a go-between. Besides, the decision of marriage and the choice of partners rested solely on parents and as filial children, the young men and women of those days dared not even dream of protesting or in anyway showing their opposition to the elders’ wishes. Parents’ words were obeyed. Any sign of opposition by a girl in either manner or look to instructions, not necessarily relating to marriage, would bring swift punishment which might include pinches or slaps — even if the girl was of marriageable age. For the young man, the punishment would be in other forms. He would be severely lectured on his duties and responsibilities as a son, and if the young man was dependant on his father for his expenses, the result might have been the cutting of his allowance. In extreme cases, the young man might even suffer the peril of being disowned and driven out of the house. It was in this environment, that the matchmaker operated. The go-between was usually a familiar relative or an old friend of both families concerned. She was, necessarily, a very sociable person with access to many households and a shrewd judge of character. In most cases she belonged to several gambling groups of chiki players. Chiki is a card game very popular with the Babas and Nyonyas. Even today, this game is still widely played. During such chiki sessions, informal inquiries were made regarding the eligibility of the sons and daughters of those present. A show of interest would be followed by discussions with the parties. A more positive response would then be followed up by an informal approach by the matchmaker to the family of a likely partner. If these preliminary

18

overtures indicated a potential match, the gobetween would then continue her services, shuttling to and from the interested parties asking questions and getting answers to delicate queries about each of the young persons involved. The prospective bride and groom would immediately be placed under close scrutiny regarding character, appearance, special points of intelligence and eligibility in such matters as age, social standing, kinship, and their general health. Eligible young women of those days were expected to be groomed in the social graces, thoroughly adept in domestic duties and obedient. Young men were to be filial and to have such qualities as good manners, upright behaviour and, of course, like today, a good job and attractive income. One of the first tasks of the matchmaker was to satisfy herself that the two families concerned did not have the same surname, for families in such a position were forbidden by Chinese tradition to be tied together in marriage. Having cleared the initial hurdle, the matchmaker had now to arrange for the despatch of a formal delegation from the young man’s family to ask for the young lady’s hand in marriage. An auspicious day would be chosen and the party had to consist of an even number of elderly female relatives who were familiar with the niceties in language and custom appropriate for such an occasion. The matchmaker as the go-between was, of course, included in the delegation. Before going further into details of the negotiations between the two parties, it is perhaps interesting to note the change, in some ways, of the attitude of parents towards their children’s marriage in the 1930s. By that time, young people were allowed some

freedom in the choice of partners. This was mainly due to the spread of Western education as more and more young people went abroad and also the influence of movies and books. Thus, it was common during that period for young people to be shown photographs of their intended and follow the match up, if the youngsters showed some interest. A “viewing party” would be arranged. This “chance” meeting would be in a public place, such as an amusement park, although the “viewing” would be at a distance. Both young people would be accompanied by a group of relatives and friends and the intended one would be pointed out discreetly. The arranged meeting would be a quick glance at each other accompanied by nudges, comments and, among the ladies, a lot of giggling. If both the young man and the young lady found each other acceptable, the delegation for the formal request for the young lady’s hand in marriage would proceed on the auspicious date and time chosen by consulting the Fate Reference Book (Tong Soo) or a deity. On arrival at the young lady’s house, the proposal delegation of the young man’s family would be offered sireh — betel leaves — in a tempat sireh. This was an oblong lacquer box with two compartments, one for betel leaves and the other for a row of silver or copper bowls containing finely sliced betel nuts, slaked lime, gambier and Javanese tobacco. Adat or customary law, required that those who did not chew betel leaves should at least touch the box as a sign of acceptance of the host’s hospitality. After some pleasantries, tea and cakes were served. The young lady who was the subject of interest had to serve the party and this was the opportunity for members of the delegation to

observe at close quarters whether the young lady had any physical defects not shown in a photograph and too slight to be noticed at a distance. They also observed the manner in which she greeted her elders, the way she served the drinks, her gait and her dress. The delegation had also to be on the lookout for omens, whether good or bad. Should they arrive when someone was having a meal, it was a lucky sign. The worst that could happen was for a woman to wash her hair on that day. Since she had to undo her sanggul and let her hair fall freely as when one was in mourning for one’s father or mother, it was considered a very bad sign indeed. If the omens were too bad, the talks would be broken off. Negotiations were conducted in an atmosphere of utmost courtesy and the aim of the visit was never broached straightaway nor in a direct manner. After touching on various topics of a general nature, one of the members of the delegation would at last bring up the purpose of the visit, but still their interest would be couched in poetic language using various figures of speech. The prospective mother-in-law and the elderly woman relatives comprising the girl’s party who very well knew what it was all about, would then feign surprise and speak modestly, even deprecatingly of the girl. After the proper circumlocution, if both parties came to an agreement, another meeting would be arranged to fix various details such as the day of engagement, the dowry and the tentative date, location and magnitude of the wedding. Once such details had been agreed upon by the two families, an auspicious day for the exchange of horoscopes was chosen. Each

19

horoscope gave the date and time of birth of the couple according to the lunar calender. The horoscopes were written in Chinese on red paper and put in red envelopes for the exchange. These were then sent to diviners who consulted the Tong Soo or a deity to determine whether the young couple were compatible in every way. If the answer turned out unfavourable, the whole matter was dropped without any ill feeling or loss of face to both parties. At this stage too, it was appropriate for either party who had second thoughts to withdraw from further negotiations on the pretext that the gods were not in favour of the match or that the Tong Soo indicated that unhappiness or tragedy would result if the marriage was to take place. However, should the answers be favourable and both parties wished to proceed with the match, an auspicious date would be chosen for the official engagement which was an exchange of candles as a sign of betrothal. The ceremony of exchanging candles usually took place in the young lady’s home. On the engagement day, an even number of the young man’s relatives would go to the girl’s house carrying two pairs of red candles wrapped in red paper. The candles, weighing one kati (600 g) a pair, were presented to the girl’s parents on a tray. On receiving the tray, the girl’s father would turn it around and take away one pair of the candles. This pair was to be lighted at the family’s household altar to the gods. Having taken away one pair of candles, the girl’s father would replace it with another pair of similarly wrapped red candles of equal weight. The tray was turned around again and given back to the young man’s delegation. The reason for the replacement of the candles was that the delegation having

20

Pages from The Book of Fate which is still being published annually and referred to even today.

arrived with two pairs of candles, must also return with two pairs, as one, being an odd number, was considered unlucky. Throughout the ceremonies that followed, this idea of not having an odd number in anything used, or in the number of people involved, could be seen to be very carefully followed. When the pair of candles taken from the tray was lighted, the elders of both families paid their respects with lighted joss-sticks first to the gods and after that to the ancestors. Refreshments would then be served and after an acceptable interval, the young man’s delegation would take their leave. The young couple was now officially betrothed. This, however, did not mean that the beau could take his girl out when he pleased. He was not even then allowed to visit her. It was only from the 1930s onwards that young men visited their fiancées, and that too only about once a week under the watchful eye of a chaperone. The more liberal minded families would allow the boy to take their daughter out to a show or the amusement park, but the couple would always be accompanied by the girl’s younger brother or young male relative. They were also expected to be home in good time. The definite dates and times for the various wedding ceremonies were chosen by the two families after consultation with a diviner or the gods. The general rule was that no wedding could take place during the Cheng Beng period, the time for the annual visits to the ancestors’ graves; the Lunar Seventh Moon when the gates of Hell were thrown open; any period when either family was suddenly faced with the death of an immediate member of the family and during any year when the boy’s age was an odd number. Other than the

21

general observation of these rules, any other month was acceptable provided the date had been carefully chosen under the auspices of a diviner or any of the gods favoured by the families. When the date of the wedding had been fixed, the schedule for the various ceremonies and the hour for leaving the house by the groom for the wedding were all written in Chinese on two pieces of red paper. One copy of this time-table was given to the groom’s family and the other to the bride’s. This time-table was then pasted on the wall near the door leading from the main hall to the interior of the respective houses. The matchmaker’s job was now almost over, but until the last irrevocable step had been taken by the two families on the very eve of the wedding, the matchmaker could not consider her mission accomplished. What did the matchmaker get for her efforts? In material terms, it was not much as she was usually given: 1. An ang pow (red packet) containing money amounting to an even number; 2. A leg of pork with a decorative piece of red paper pasted on it; 3. One pair of red candles wrapped in red paper; the candles weighing at least one kati (600 g) and if the family was generous; 4. Two bottles of brandy with, of course, the mandatory pieces of red paper pasted on for luck. Apart from these material benefits, the matchmaker had the satisfaction of a job well done. Some considered a successful match a meritorious deed, for it was believed that if one could bring three couples together in marriage, one was assured a place in Heaven.

22

Besides this, the Nyonya matchmaker was an incurable romantic. However, there have been tales of unscrupulous matchmakers who, on being bribed by a family with an old spinster with some defects or a young man who was similarly handicapped, would go to great length to deceive the other party by all sorts of trickery. Happily, in such cases, the matchmaker, having been exposed, would naturally lose the confidence of families with eligible children.

This delicate papercut done in the phoenix and peony design echos the motifs frequently found on Nyonya porcelain. Similar fine papercuts were often added to wedding gifts to wish the couple luck.

23

24

3 Wedding Preparations

Red and white kueh ih, glutinous rice balls served in a syrup, were used throughout Baba wedding rituals.

Sang Ih — Personal Invitations In the early days of this century, it was the custom for wedding invitations to be delivered personally by the bridegroom to-be. He had to go from home to home to deliver the red invitation cards enclosed in red envelopes accompanied by an attendant, known as the Pak Chindek. This attendant would later coach the bridegroom as to the performance of rituals at the various wedding ceremonies as well as act as a valet. While the invitations to friends were in the form of invitation cards, a more formal invitation was extended to relatives. This took place on the sixth day before the wedding. On the auspicious day, a Master of Ceremonies, dressed in a long Chinese gown and a short jacket, would lead a party of five to distribute small red and white glutinous rice balls boiled in syrup. These kueh ih were presented in dainty Nyonya ware bowls and were carried, in two big three tiered baskets known as bakul siah, slung on a pole across the shoulder of a servant. Because this was the day kueh ih were presented, it was called

25

Sang Ih for “sang” means “to present”. Like many of the customs practised by the Babas, the ih was a symbol and harbinger of the good things of matrimony. The red glutinous rice balls stood for luck while the white ones indicated purity. The sweetness of relationship was reflected in the syrup and wholehearted, unreserved joy was seen in the roundness of the food. Even the consistency of the ingredient had symbolic meaning read into it. It was said that since rice flour dough was glutinous in nature, the togetherness of the bridal couple would be ensured. The relatives who received such special invitations would usually present gifts of gold jewellery in return. No member of the party distributing the kueh ih was forgotten and would often receive a silk handkerchief, a man’s fan, a skein of red thread or a bottle or perfume. This same party would also take pan in many of the other wedding ceremonies. Female guests were invited in a different manner. Invitations for the womenfolk were delivered personally by the prospective mothers-in-law who went separately to extend the invitations to their own guests. The ladies were usually accompanied by an elderly female relative and they would go from house to house delivering small pieces of sireh (betel leaves) folded into tiny triangular shapes with bits of thinly sliced betel nuts tucked into them. These were put into a small silver bowl which was carried, wrapped in a lace-edged silk handkerchief, by the matriarch. Leaving one piece of the betel leaves at each of the houses she visited, she would extend an oral invitation couched in the Baba patois although the day and month of the wedding would be specified

26

in Hokkien. This method of invitation was called hantar sireh. Sang Ih Day also marked the beginning of preparations in earnest. This was the day when the floor was scrubbed, new curtains were hung and the red bunting or chye kee was appended over the main door of the house. This red bunting was made of thin cotton material and the two ends, which were decorated with sequins, lace or baubles, reached almost to the floor on either side of the door. The midportions of these free-hanging drapes were gathered into artistically tied bows, which when fluffed out, formed two bunga teratehs or lotus flowers. This method of tying the chye kee was the Baba style of doing so. When the bunting was in place, the family lanterns or ji-seh teng would be put up. These lanterns were made in Singapore and were different in size, shape and design from the type that are hung in front of Chinese temples. The household lanterns bore the surnames of the families and were usually smaller and more elongated than the temple lanterns. And while temple lanterns did not have any designs at all, these household lanterns were embellished on one side with scenes taken from Chinese myths and legends. These lanterns were hung such that the one on the right, as viewed from the road, showed the family surname while the lantern on the left side showed the painted scene. To keep the lanterns from twisting around in the wind they were hung from long iron hooks. Besides these lanterns, a third lantern known as the tien teng in honour of the “King of Heaven” was hung in front of the portal. It was either of waxed paper and round or a glass lantern and in each case, the Chinese characters for tien teng were painted on it.

27

These embroidered bridal bed hangings are shaped in auspicious motifs. The central hanging (right) consists of a Taoisl eight-gram while one of the four side hangings (left) features pairs of pomegranates. Bed hangings are also made of gold and silver shaped into floral caskets. (Courtesy Katong Antique House)

28 2 8

Once the house had been decorated in this manner, it was the signal for the guests to send their presents, in those days before World War II. the gifts would be mostly boxes of soap. “Pyramid” handkerchieves and bottles of perfume. The most popular brands of perfume for weddings then were “San-talia” and “Evening in Paris”. Another popular brand was “Forget-Me-Not”. In rural areas, the presents might have taken the form of bottles of homemade coconut oil and other produce of the farm. These presents whether of perfume or coconut oil were known as olehs. Each oleh was acknowledged with a small ang pow or red packet containing two, four or six cents. As was mentioned earlier, close relatives were more or less obliged to give gold jewellery. Another important preparation for the wedding at that stage was the beautifying and blessing of the bridal bed. The bed chamber itself was not only made beautiful by new curtains, embroidered tapestries, carpets and flowers, it was also scented by the stanggee, a local incense made from various roots and barks, sugar cane and sugar. A potpourri of sweet smelling pandanus leaves, finely sliced and mixed with the petals of colourful and sweet-smelling flowers as well as perfume was placed in bowls and trays at strategic places in the room. ‘These were the bunga rampai or bunga rampay as the Babas were wont to call them. The bed itself was either the two-tiered Chinese bed known as the ranjang lok san or the four poster Victorian brass bed. According to the beliefs and traditions of the Babas, two Chinese copper coins put on top of twelve sheets of gold-plated joss paper were first placed under each bed post. The bed was

29 29

then decorated. The ranjang lok san took at least two hours to prepare as there were, apart from the silk curtains, numerous tapestries, baubles, tassels and silk and velvet flowers to be put in place. On the bed were laid out luxurious pillows and bolsters, either round or oblong, set off by ornate silver or goldplated end pieces attached to them. The brass bed was more easily decorated although it, too, could take some time to do properly. The favourite colour for the curtains of the bridal bed was pink and they were held open by hooks and chains, both of which were either silver or gold-plated. Some families even decorated the bed with lighted bulbs of many colours but superstitious families did not feel so inclined as they thought that this made the bed look too much like the elaborate Chinese hearse. When the bed had been decorated, symbols of wealth, longevity and fertility were placed in a low earthenware pot filled with clean sand and put under it: one comb of bananas of the pisang raja variety (for wealth); the hardy lemon grass, known as serai in Malay and pronounced seray by the Babas (for longevity) and the fast growing yam tuber or keladi (for fertility). Three lighted joss sticks were also stuck in the sand and only then was the pot, together with its contents, put under the bed. Once the bridal chamber and the bed had been prepared, the room was incensed every day and guarded very carefully. This was to prevent defilement, intentional or otherwise. The next stage of the preparations was to consult the all important Book of Fate or deity for an auspicious day and time for the blessing of the bridal bed.

30

31

When all these preparations were completed, a very important ceremony called Ann Chng took place. This was the spiritual cleansing and blessing of the bed performed by a small boy who was selected from a large family with living parents. In the choice of this boy, it had also to be taken into account that the candidate’s horoscope did not clash with the date, and especially the hour, during which the ceremony was to be performed. Otherwise, it was believed, some harm or misfortune would come to him. All the boy had to do during the ceremony was to roll back and forth across the bed three times. For that bit of child’s play, he got a red packet containing money and a pair of red candles weighing four tahils (150g). After the Ann Chng ceremony, the bed was not left empty lest evil forces took over the empty place and created mischief. To fill the void, a dish of bee koh, a kind of sweet; a posy of siantan or red ixora; a tempat sireh and a tray of bunga rampai were placed on the bed. That last item and the stangee, which was placed in the room, were meant to keep the bridal chamber sweet smelling for at least one month from the Ann Chng day. The room was now even more closely guarded against evil or jealous persons who wished to do harm to the bridal couple. It was strictly out of bounds to pregnant women, women who were menstruating and people who were mourningas such were considered unclean. Added protection came from paper charms, issued by a temple, pasted at strategic points in the room.

and close friends came to help in the various preparations for the wedding. This was usually four days before the wedding day itself. In the old days, the day was spent in peeling the large quantities of onions and garlic necessary for the great amount of food and various types of sambals to be served to relatives and guests. This was why the day was also called Hari Kupas Bawang — Day of Onion Peeling. It marked the beginning of about twenty days of merry-making among well-wishers and it was the opportunity for the gathering of relatives who had not seen one another for a long time. It was a time of the renewal and strengthening of kinship, the exchange of news between the various members of the clan; the kinsfolk who assembled for this happy occasion often included long-lost cousins with many a tale to tell. In the evenings, when the day’s chores were done, everyone gathered to gossip, laugh and sing well into the night.

Khui Thiah or Hari Kupas Bawang — Opening day of Celebrations The house was now thrown open and relatives

Silver bolster and pillow ends add glamour to the already luxurious silk beddings of the Baba bridal bed.

32

33

Hari Menyambal As the name indicates, this was the day set aside for the cooking of sambals which sometimes numbered more than twenty varieties. The most important sambal of the day was sambal serunding. One explanation for its preferred position is that the name of the sambal is derived from the Malay word, ‘’run-ding”, which means “to consult or discuss.” Therefore, “serunding” means that there has been a common agreement after discussion and thus, the serving of this sambal symbolised the harmony and agreement of the match. This sambal was especially important, as we shall see, when served with nasi lemak, a special concoction of rice cooked in coconut milk, on the twelfth day of the wedding. The large kitchens of typical Baba homes were thus alive with the hub-bub of these preparations on Hari Menyambal: the happy notes of sloshing water, the rhythmic sounds of the pounding of spices, the effervescent crackling of food being fried — all joining together with babbling voices that filled the house which was itself already suffused with the aroma of Nyonya cooking. The kitchens of modern houses and flats would surely not be big enough to hold a fraction of the number of women who used to work together in the kitchen of a Baba household during the preparation for a wedding. Hari Tumbok Tepong and Sang Jit The making of Nyonya cakes entailed a lot of time-consuming work. Thus, two days before the wedding, a day was set aside and designated Hari Tumbok Tepong — The Day when the Flour is Pounded. And it was literally so. Rice was sifted, sorted and

34

soaked, then milled in big millstones turned by hand or a yoke and pounded in wooden mortars. These cakes were mainly made of polished rice and glutinous rice-flour, for tapioca and yam cakes, although popular in their own right, were considered too commonplace for weddings. Kueh tar or the Pineapple Tart was a great favourite. So was the pretty, multicoloured layer cake called kueh geng-gang. It is made of rice-flour and never coloured blue. Goreng pisang or banana fritters were also served; however, no common bananas, only pisang raja were used in its preparation. There were apom berkuah and ondeh-ondeh. The former are rice-flour pancakes with coconut milk and palm sugar syrup with small pieces of banana in it while the latter are sensational palm-sugar centred cakes coated with shredded coconut. It was also traditional to serve a quartet of glutinous rice concoctions. Rem-pah udang and lepat rempah had spicy stuffings while lepat kachang was flavoured with coconut and soya beans and steamed, wrapped in young nipah leaves folded into pyramidshaped packets. The last was pulot tekan. These were blue and white cakes made in special wooden moulds, cut into small slices and served either with coconut milk or sireh kaya, a coconut egg jam also served with other glutinous rice cakes. There were, of course, many more varieties of Nyonya cakes. However, different types were prepared only for other specific occasions. Similarly, fruits that were served at weddings differed from those served during funerals or Chinese New Year. This busy day was also known as Sang Jit, the day when gifts were exchanged between

the families of the bride and the groom. The bridegroom’s party bearing gifts would leave for the bride’s home in procession accompanied by a serunee band and the Master of Ceremonies. At the head of the procession were two lanterns bearing the bridegroom’s surname. These lanterns were carried on long poles painted red. Behind these lanterns, two bearers stretched a red silk bunting between them on two bamboo stems with leaves at the top. Walking immediately behind the red bunting came the Master of Ceremonies, dressed in a silk jacket over a long silk gown, a Mandarin cap with a red button and soft Chinese shoes. In his hand he held a big fan which he waved slowly as he walked along, shaded by a tasselled silk umbrella on a long wooden pole. The gift bearers, walking in pairs and carrying the trays of gifts were next. Each bearer dressed himself in batik shirt and trousers with a short sarong around the waist and a batik cloth tied around his head. The trays contained the following gifts: 1. A live duck and a drake, their legs tied and banded with strips of red paper; 2. A live hen and a cockerel, their legs similarly tied and banded with red paper: 3. A leg of pork, decorated with a beautiful red paper-cut: 4. Four small boxes containing preserved sweet mata kucing (Nephelium malaiense) or alternatively preserved lichees, lotus seeds and two pairs of lok-kin or dried deer tendon. On the same tray were also four betel nuts painted gold to resemble gold ingots, a bunch of twelve pisang raja and a pair of pomegranates growing on the same

twig. This last item symbolised the wedding couple on whom was wished unity and progeny as numerous as the seeds of the pomegranate! 5. One hundred and eight silver dollars, each painted with a red dot in the centre for luck. The number 108 represented the 36 blessings of Heaven and the 72 blessings of Earth. 108 is also the number of beads on the Buddhist rosary. Of these silver dollars, two pieces were taken by the bride’s mother as a token for giving her milk to the bride when she was a baby. This fee was known in Malay as wang tetek, literally “breast money”; 6. A pair of diamond rings, a pair of slippers in gold and silver threads and one suit of baju kurong and sarong made of kain songket, cloth interwoven with gold or silver threads. The baju kurong and the sarong are clothes in the Malay style, the former being a loose collarless long blouse worn over a sarong; 7. A big, long red envelope containing a copy of the time-table for the various ceremonies. This envelope was pressed between two pairs of red candles, each of which weighed one kati (600 g). One pair of the candles was to be taken by the bride’s family and replaced by a similar pair. Apart from these gifts, two pairs of red wedding candles were carried on the shoulders of four bearers, as they were too big and too heavy to be carried on trays. These were the Dragon candles representing the bridegroom and the Phoenix candles representing the bride. Each pair weighed

35

from 8 katis (4.8 kg) to 12 katis (7.2 kg). The Dragons were made of artistically moulded pieces of colourful tinsel and were pinned onto the candies together with four propitious Chinese characters cut from gold paper. The Phoenix candles were similarly decorated. In days of yore, the Dragons were more cunningly made and they really twined around the candles while the beards of the Dragons were made of silk threads of five colours. Similarly, the Phoenix candles of olden times were more elaborate and the feathers of the mythical bird were of real peacock feathers. The Dragon candles were to be taken by the bride’s family and lighted during the wedding ceremonies. In all cases where the ceremonies were held in one house, both pairs of candles were to be lighted in that house; the host’s candles taking the place of honour on the outer ends of the row of candles. Thai is to say, if the ceremonies were performed in the bride’s home, the Phoenix candles would stand on the outer ends and if they were held in the bridegroom’s home, the Dragon candles would stand in the place of honour. In return for the gifts, the bride’s family would present to the bridegroom one silver belt with a gold or silver buckle, a diamond ring, a man’s fan wrapped in a red silk handkerchief, a money pouch to be worn around his waist, one pair of man’s slippers embroidered in gold and silver thread and a pair of oranges with twigs and leaves intact. The oranges were individually banded with red paper. While we were admiring the contents of the trays borne by the lap chye bearers, we would have heard the serunee band playing continuously in the background. The serunee

36

or the serunai in Malay, is a woodwind instrument appearing in many forms in Asian ceremonial bands. The instrument is played in Indian temple bands, in Thai cultural dance bands and in the Malay royal ceremonial band known as the nohat. The serunee in this description is the Chinese instrument played in Chinese operas and has been described as a form of clarinet or oboe. This instrument is played in Baba tradition with other instruments to perform a blend of Chinese and Malay melodies with names like “Ayer Kuning” and “Tiong Baru”. How did the serunee band originate? Most of the musicians in the old serunee bands were Indonesians from Java. Bali, Sunda and Amboyna who were employed by rich Babas as gardeners, syces (drivers of gharries) and odd job men. Many of them loved music and brought with them their musical instruments which they played during their leisure moments. Some time in the early years of the 19th Century, a Baba, Mr Seet Eng San, of Malacca organised his Indonesian servants into a band to play at weddings and other happy occasions. The serunee music was then arranged so that certain tunes were played for certain ceremonies. In the early days when the serunee band was first formed, the musicians used to sit cross-legged on the floor on mats as the Balinese musicians still do. Later on, they sat at a small table near to where the ceremonies were taking place so that they could follow the proceedings. The instruments of the serunee band comprised the serunee besar, the clarinetlike instrument with a big copper bowl which produced a loud and resonant sound; the serunee kechil a smaller version of the instrument producing a softer and more

Mr Yeo Kim Swee, the serunee master fills the many halls of his ancestral home with the haunting melodies of his instrument. He plays the serunee besar while the other instruments of the band are displayed on the marble table.

37

gentle sound; a pair of very small cymbals used as chimes; a Chinese bamboo flute; a Chinese drum with a strap which is slung over the shoulder; a small flat drum with one brass piece (the ting-ting) strapped to it and a Javanese gong. Serunee music played for the various ceremonies was divided into two types named for their respective principal instruments: the serunee besar which was played for the Candle Lighting Ceremony, meeting the bride, parents’ wine libation ceremony and praying to the high altar or sam kai while the serunee kechil was played when the bride went out to pray, during the Third Day Ceremony when respects were paid to the elders and the Chiu Thau ceremony. Where these rituals were concerned, very good serunee players could lead the most awkward of brides to perform the ceremonies in the most graceful manner. Serunee besar was played by the big clarinet, the drum slung over the shoulder, the small cymbals, the small drum and the Javanese gong while the serunee kechil was played by the small clarinet, the small flat drum, the Chinese bamboo flute and the small cymbals. In the music for the serunee kechil, the bamboo flute was important as it was set off against the small clarinet, and the two instruments were like two birds serenading each other, the small clarinet calling her love and the flute responding. This is why when these instruments are played in the early hours of a Malaccan morning, many a tear are shed by old Nyonyas who are reminded of days and friends gone by. Chia” Lang Kheh — Dinner for Guests on Wedding Eve In the full traditional Baba wedding, wedding

38

dinners were held on the wedding eve and were hosted separately by the families of the bride and the bridegroom in their respective homes and not at a restaurant as it is done nowadays. Even if the dinner was a joint affair, it was still held at home. Where the host’s house could not accommodate all the guests, it was customary, then, to borrow his neighbour’s or even two neighbours’ houses for the celebrations; in which case, the red bunting or chye kee was also hung over the door or doors of the borrowed premises. The host, in return for the favour, gave the neighbours concerned, an ang pow and one pair of red candles for good luck. Before World War II, most of the tables used at dinner parties were square ones, seating only eight guests per table. It was a rare sight then, to find women sitting together with the men during such a public event; the women guests having been entertained at the lunch-time tok panjang feast. It was the custom, in those days, for the guests who arrived early to mingle outside the house where the dinner was to be held, since it was considered a sign of greed to sit at a table before dinner was ready to be served. The serunee band, played its part by signalling to the guests when dinner was about to be served. The band would play three times. When it played for the third time, the guests knew that it was proper to take their seats. During the dinner, the serunee band would also play each time a new course was served and since the menu was generally the same for most dinners, passers-by knew, by listening to the melody being played and counting the sequence, what food was being served. When the band leader observed that the main

table had finished dessert, he would strike up a special tune in which the tempo kept going faster and faster and the drum and gong were beaten louder. The guests recognising this as the signal that the dinner was over would start leaving the tables, for to linger after this was contrary to good etiquette. During the dinner at the bride’s house, while the guests were enjoying themselves downstairs, the bride would be trained by the Sang Kheh Umm or the Mak Andam as she was known in Malay. She was taught how to walk, how to kneel gracefully, how to fold her arms and bring them up and down slowly in time to the serunee music and how to keep her eyes downcast as befitting

a modest bride. From that evening onwards right until the final ceremony of the wedding, the Sang Kheh Umm would be by her side practically night and day, coaching and guiding and even scolding her. She was the one who would comb her hair, arrange the gold and silver flowers to form the crown on her head, dress her in her ceremonial robes and lead her to and from the hall where the ceremonies were held. Some very strict Sang Kheh Umms have been known to pinch slowlearning or stubborn brides. The Sang Kheh Umm had an assistant who helped in dressing and waiting on the bride. Her main ceremonial responsibility was, however, to assist the bride as she knelt

39

and got up from the kneeling position during the rituals. In this task, she had to be alert and quick to lift the bride’s skirt slightly and spread it open in front and behind the bride as she knelt so that the bride would not stumble on her own skirt. This assistant too, had to be careful to avoid being tripped by the bride as she knelt, lest she found herself sprawling in front of the guests. Because of the nature of her work, this lady assistant was known as the Bukak Koon, a name derived from the Malay work “bukak” meaning “to open” and the Hokkien word, “koon”, for “skirt”. Ladies of different nationalities have served as Bukak Koon — even Malacca Chitty women. A few Nyonya Bukak Koon ladies managed by hard work and years of observation to become Sang Kheh Umms in their own right. This assistant also ran errands for the Sang Kheh Umm and assisted her in making items for the altar table. In other words, she had to make herself generally helpful. The bridegroom was attended to by the Pak Chindek whose job was, in many ways, similar to that of the Sang Kheh Umm. He, of course, did not have to worry about hairdos and jewellery. The Pak Chindek had no assistant and he had to do the job of the Bukak Koon himself; but this task was relatively easier because the bridegroom was, unlike the bride, not encumbered by a heavy gold and silver crown, a chest laden with jewellery and heavy robes.

Bibik Ah Mui is the last of the old school Sang Kheh Umm. Here, ably assisted by her daughter the Bukak Koon, she makes final adjustments to the bride’s multi-layered gown.

40

41

42

4 Chiu Thau Purification Rite And initiation Into Adulthood

The way a sam kai altar is set up was prescribed by tradition. The top panel of the altar cloth shown here is graced by the gods of Learning, Prosperity and Longevity.

As soon as the guests attending the prenuptial dinner had said their farewells, the main hall where the high altar or sam kai was to be raised was thoroughly cleaned, especially the floor which was washed and mopped dry. This was to prepare the hall for the very important Chiu Thau ceremony which usually took place very late at night or in the early hours of the morning, the time being fixed by the diviner of the gods. Special care was taken to find out which animals of the Chinese Zodiac were not compatible with the time chosen so that those with the incompatible signs would stay away, for it was believed that misfortune would befall such people should they be present during the ceremony. According to tradition, this ceremony was introduced by one Chew Kong, a great scholar and philosopher who is regarded as a sage. This Chew Kong is believed to be the second Duke of Chou, Chou Kung, who lived during the reign of the Chou Emperors, Wu Wang and Ch’ong Wang from 1122-1079 B.C. Many fundamental institutions are attributed to him and during his two year

43

voluntary exile from court, he is said to have occupied himself with an extension of the work commenced by his father, Won Wong, on the I Ching or the Book of Changes. He is also ascribed with the authorship of the Chou Li in which the entire government apparatus of the Chou Dynasty is described. Chou Kung died in 1105 B C. The Chiu Thau ceremony was regarded as being very sacred and no kind of impurity w-as allowed near the area of worship. A very special two-tiered altar was erected near the main door of the hall, facing inward, opposite the altar to the household gods, leaving enough room between them for the various ceremonies. This special altar is known as the sam kai or the sam kuan tai tay, and represents Heaven. Earth and Man. The altar was considered so holy that only the elders among the male relatives were allowed to raise it into position. No article or piece of crockery used for the altar could be used for any other purpose. People in mourning, especially those who were mourning for the recent deaths of their close relatives, pregnant women and women experiencing menstruation were not allowed to touch anything to be used for the altar lest they defiled it. This altar is also used for other special occasions such as birthday celebrations of elders and on the eighth day of the Chinese New Year when the Hokkien and Baba communities celebrate the birthday of the “King of Heaven” or Ti Kong. The sam kai is raised specially for each occasion and is taken down immediately afterwards. The sam kai consists of two specially made tables which are placed one on top of the other. The lower table which serves as the base, has curved legs which end in carved

44

gilt work and its front, back and side panels are also lacquered and decorated with carved gilt patterns. The top of this base-table is a wooden grille to allow smoke from the incense burner placed under it to rise. Square depressions, about 2 cm deep, at each corner of the table, hold the legs of the top table securely. This is very important for should the top table topple, it would be considered a major disaster. Each table measures three feet by four feet but the elevated table must be three feet high while the lower table, two feet high. These tables are very carefully looked after and not used for any other purpose. Where it is neither possible to have a set of these tables or to borrow them, an improvised altar can be set up by raising an oblong table on two parallel benches. To get the sam kai ready, the four legs of the lower table must be placed on layers of gold-leafed joss paper. The top is then raised into position very carefully and a piece of red cloth or paper placed on it. The two sides of the top table — the one facing the main door and the one facing the opposite way are covered with a piece of heavily embroidered red silk tapestry. This piece of altar cloth is known as a tok wee and many altar cloths of this type are now precious heirlooms. Consisting of two overlapping panels, the tok wee’s top narrower panel is of a different colour and is embroidered with figures of the Eight Immortals or the three figures representing Longevity, Prosperity and Learning. The lower edge of this top panel is lined with tassels of many colours. The lower, longer panel is usually an embroidery in thick gold thread of two dragons or five cavorting lions. There are equally beautiful tok wee meant only for use at funerals.

They are of course without any gold threads but are embroidered in blue, purple and green silk. Viewed from the house towards the main door, the nearest articles on the sam kai altar are two brass Chinese candlesticks. The plates of these candlesticks, designed to catch dripping wax, are covered by circular pieces of red paper with their edges cut in a fine toothed pattern. Just behind and to the right of the candlesticks are placed gold or silverplated wine vessels while on the left is a twohandled, three-legged, wine cup resting on a saucer. Another saucer of the same design is placed near the wine vessel. This saucer contains an orange with its twig and some leaves intact. Next in line is a row of three small porcelain wine cups followed by a row of tea cups. Behind these are small bowls of red and white boiled kueh ih in sugar water. On the outer ends of this row stand two small porcelain saucers containing uncooked kueh ih; three white ones with a red one resting on top, each ball of kueh ih being the size of a golf-ball. These balls of raw kueh ih would be used at a later stage of the wedding ceremonies to make the smaller kueh ih for the feeding of the bride and bridegroom. In the middle of the table in front of the kueh ih is a big Nyonya-ware joss-stick holder. This joss-stick holder is filled with clean uncooked rice levelled off near the rim. It is covered by red paper which has a hole cut through the centre to facilitate the insertion of big joss-sticks. On either side of the jossstick holder are long-necked porcelain vases containing bouquets of assorted flowers among which are St Joseph’s lilies and the siantan or red ixora. At each end of this row is placed an oil lamp. These are glass bowls

with lids and they stand on red and gilt carved wooden stands which are usually in the form of lions. The bowls are two-thirds filled with red coloured water and the glass lids are turned upside down, placed on top of the bowls and then filled with oil and provided with wicks. Right behind the big joss-stick holder is placed a very important item of the altar: the chie” hup, a detailed description of which will follow. On either side of the chien hup are two level bowlfuls of uncooked rice also covered with red paper. The bowls at the outer ends contain pieces of sugar cane, cut into lengths of 3 cm. skinned and banded with strips of red paper. They are arranged into a pyramid, with an artificial flower put on top. The other bowls contain small oranges, also arranged to form a pyramid with an artificial flower on top. The last item is a saucer of flowers of various colours and scents. This is placed in any spare space on the altar. Returning to the chie” hup which is the centre-piece of the altar, it is a boat-shaped wooden stand of carved figures and flowers gilted in gold. This stands on its cover of black lacquer decorated with scenes from Chinese mythology and legends painted in gold. The top of the chie” hup is painted red and is covered with a zinc tray which has five holders soldered onto it. These holders support five or sometimes three bamboo sticks decorated with an arrangement of red berries, known as lemoh kheh-ia, and flowers woven from strips of half ripe papaya soaked in lime water and preserved in syrup. At the base of each of these sticks are put “chempaka flowers” also made from the papaya strips and at the very top is an artificial flower. If no red berries are available, a fruit known as buah cemela can be used after boiling it in

45

Mr Tan Chye Choon, affectionately known as Encik Noordin, decorates a chie” hup with “eagle claw” motifs and red berries. The “eagle claws” are made of woven strips of papaya preserved in rock sugar solution.

46

sugar water to turn it a lovely red. In some cases, slices of pineapple and red dates are also used. Pineapple, or ong lai in Hokkien, is popular because of the pun on the name meaning “the coming of luck”. Five sticks of bamboo are used to decorate the altars to the “King of Heaven” and gods and goddesses while only three are decorated for ancestral altars. Thus the chie” hup indicates the status of the altar. It is not, as some are wont to believe today, used as a candle holder. Any melting candle-wax would ruin the ornate carving in no time. When the altar was made ready by the male elders of the family, an incense burner or a make-shift one, made of three new Chinese roof-tiles, was placed under the lower table. Pieces of sandal-wood, pre-soaked in water, were then burnt to give off sweet smelling smoke. It should be noted here that the Malay kemenyan was never used at a wedding or other auspicious occasions. The kemenyan is used only at Malay shrines and for purifying Muslim homes on Thursday evenings as well as for divination purposes by bomohs and pawangs (Malay spiritualists). Up to this point, although everything was in place, the candles on the altars could not be lighted and no worship started until one last formality was carried out. This was the final confirmation that the wedding would proceed, for right up to this moment, either family could still withdraw from the match. An even numbered party of elderly men would go to the bride’s house after taking formal leave of the bridegroom’s father. This party carried in procession, a tray containing a big porcelain jar with a cover, known as a kam cheng. This jar was filled with boiled kueh ih in sugar water. On each side of the

jar was one pair of red candles weighing one kati (600 g). The procession, headed by a lighted pair of the bridegroom’s family lanterns, was accompanied by a serunee band and usually a ronggeng orchestra. Upon arrival at the bride’s house, the bride’s father would receive the tray, bow and turn the tray around. Some of the kueh ih were then taken out from the jar and the bride’s family would add rock sugar and mata kuching to the tray. This addition of sweet things indicated acceptance. The bridegroom’s party would then take leave and return to the bridegroom’s house. It is important that nobody from the party dropped out on the way for this could be misconstrued as an act of dissent or unhappiness. The bride’s father now in turn, sent his party of kueh ih and candle bearers to the bridegroom’s house. The bridegroom’s father would take one pair of the red candles from the tray and replace it with another pair. With that act, the two families set the final seal to the marriage. Before the bridegroom was led out for the Chiu Thau ritual his parents had first to light all the candles at the three altars: the sum kai, the household god’s and the ancestors’. This was done to the accompaniment of the music of the serunee kechil. To reach the candles on the tall sam kai and the top of the huge wedding candles, the parents stood on chairs and lit them with special red candles made of two small candles twisted together. The altar candies were never lighted by matches or the sort of contraption used in churches and they were never put out by candle snuffers. To put them out, either the stubs of old candles or pieces of sugar cane about 14 centimetres long and split into halves were used by pressing the wicks between them. The light

47

for the sam kai must have been taken from the tien teng hanging over the main door between the pair of family lanterns. Where the tien teng was lit by electricity, the light must then have been taken from the lamp on the altar of the household gods. Once the sum kai candles had been lit, the light was shared with the wedding candles at the household altar and finally the candles on the ancestral altar. This ceremony was called ‘Pasang Lilin’ in Malay. A similar ceremony was carried out at the same time in the bride’s house by her parents. The bridegroom’s father then prayed before the three altars, beginning with the sam kai and ending before the altar to the ancestors. To the accompaniment of serunee music, he faced the altar and raised three big, fragrant and lighted joss-sticks above his head three times and passed them to a helper who put them in the joss-stick holder. When this was done, the father performed the kow tow. Clasping his hands together in the manner of a formal Chinese greeting, he bowed before the altar putting one leg forward and kneeling on his other leg before bringing the first leg down. Keeping his body upright, he swung his arms forward slowly and bowed down until his forehead almost touched the floor, his body supported by his hands which were now placed palms down on the ground. This position suggested the embracing of the feet of the subject of worship — a symbolic act of humility and adoration. For the ritual before the sam kai, the bridegroom’s father knelt down four times and bowed down twelve times. For the household gods, he knelt thrice and bowed nine times and for the ancestors, he knelt twice and bowed six times. All the movements for the kow tow had to be

48

Pasang liling or lighting the candles of the sam kai altar irrevocably sealed the match made between the families. The parents of the bridegroom light the candles on the other side of the sam kai shown on page 42. The tok wee panel is embroidered with the Eight Immortals of Chinese mythology.

done in an unhurried and dignified manner in time with the tempo of the serunee music. To one who was experienced in this manner of worship, the actions were not difficult to perform but to the first timer, some coaching was necessary otherwise the result could be a disorderly flurry of arms and legs. As soon as the father had completed the worship at the three altars, he would go into the bridegroom’s room. There, the bridegroom paid his respects firstly to his parents and then other elders. Finally, he was led out to the hall by his father and mother for the Chiu Thau ceremony. The bridegroom was dressed in his Chiu Thau clothes of Chinese jacket and trousers made of white cotton. The trousers were covered with leggings which reached his thighs. This and the trouser-ends were tucked into boots. The clothes were sewn by married women with many children in the hope that the bride and bridegroom too may have many progeny. The symbolic cutting of the cloth had to be performed at the hour and day chosen by divination and was known as Hari Mengoyak from the Malay word “koyak” meaning “to tear” (i.e. to tear the cloth to the lengths needed for the sewing of the clothes). These Chiu Thau clothes were not to be taken off during the period of the wedding ceremonies and once taken off, they were not to be washed but had to be very carefully folded and kept until the owner died; then the clothes were interred with him. The same rules applied to the bride’s Chiu Thau garments. Apart from the white cotton clothes, the bridegroom wore a Mandarin cap of brocade with velvet rim on which was pinned a diamond shaped brooch. On this cap was a gold filigree button

49

in three tiers, screwed on and also sewn on with red silk thread. When the ornament was not used, it was unscrewed and kept in a box. Some of these cap buttons had diamonds on them. The bridegroom’s shoes were of embroidered cloth with thick soles. He wore a diamond ring on the ring finger of his left hand and held a folded fan wrapped in a red or pink silk handkerchief in his right hand. Both the ring and the fan were part of the lap chai sent by the bride’s parents. In the space between the sam kai and the household altar, a carpet was laid. At the beginning of this century, a rectangular canopy of silk with frills was hung over this ceremonial space. This canopy, known as the ban tien was a symbol of Heaven’s protection. On the carpet was placed a large circular bamboo tray or niru with a red circle painted in its centre. A red, round, wooden ricemeasure which could hold six katis (3.6 kg) was, in turn, placed upside down on the red circle in the bamboo tray. This rice measure or gantang in Malay, represented the male and female principles, the hollow end being the female. One explanation suggested that the round tray stood for the Earth and sitting right in the centre symbolised the bridegroom being in the Middle Kingdom (i.e China). Another explanation was that since the tray represented the Earth, stepping into it meant that the bridegroom was entering the adult world. Sitting on the gantang was to remind him of the daily necessities of life of which rice was the most important. The bridegroom, led to the gantang by his parents, was seated on it facing the household altar, because he was bringing a bride into the house. Most spectators would turn their faces away at the moment when

50

the bridegroom stepped onto the tray for fear that their horoscopes would clash and expose them to evil influence. A Baba, if he remarried after the death of his wife, was allowed to go through the Chin Thau ceremony again although for the second marriage, he had to sit on a chair. However, Nyonyas could sit on a gantang only once in their lifetime as only virgins could go through the ceremony facing the sam kai. Before the actual Chiu Thau ceremony could begin, an elder of the family, usually a paternal uncle, known as the Chu Lang, advised the bridegroom on his duties as an adult, a husband and therefore a responsible member of society. It was only when the bridegroom had indicated, by nodding his head, that he had understood and accepted the advice of the elder that the Chiu Thau ceremony began. The bridegroom sat with his knees drawn up. His attendant or Pak Chindek then handed him the tong soo or Fate Reference Book which the bridegroom placed on his knees. The book was opened in the middle and between its pages were placed several symbolic items. There was a small pair of scales to remind the bridegroom that he must weigh all acts carefully in his relationship with his wife; one Chinese ruler representing judgement and sincerity; a pair of scissors to make all things equal and an old fashioned razor as a warning to be as cautious in deed and act as one is cautious with a sharp razor. There were also a mirror to tell good deeds from bad, a comb and a 31/2 metre length of red silk thread to represent a long life of 31/2 generations. A small boy known as the Ku Yia would then come forward. This was the same boy

who performed the Ann Chng ceremony. He placed one foot inside the tray and, guided by the Pak Chindek, took off the bridegroom’s cap with both hands and placed it on his own head where it stayed during the ceremony. In the old days, when the bridegroom had a queue, he would also unbraid it. He then took a sprig of siantan flower or red ixora together with a spring onion plant from a basin of water and passed the wet plants over the bridegroom’s head to wet his hair and also to get rid of any evil. The spring onion, which was complete with roots, represented long life and industriousness and the red ixora, good luck. Next, the Ku Yia took the open razor and made three movements as though he was shaving the bridegroom’s

forehead. Then he made a token parting of the bridegroom’s hair with the Chinese ruler and the small pair of scales and went through the motions of combing the hair with the comb. Finally, he put the red silk thread on top of the bridegroom’s head, letting its end fall on the bridegroom’s back. The use of the red thread was a relic of the days when men had queues and it used to be the mother’s duty then to braid the red thread into the queue at this stage of the ceremony. As that would have been the last time she was doing this for her son, since this duty would henceforth be done by his wife, it was a sentimental moment and tears would be shed. Having completed his work, the Ku Yia clasped his hands and raised them to

51

the bridegroom who responded likewise. Assisted by the Pak Chindek, he then replaced the bridegroom’s cap and retired from the scene. For this ceremonial duty, the Ku Yia was presented with an ang pow containing a few dollars (which of course, must have been an even amount), and a pair of red candles weighing 4 tahils (150 g) for luck and as a form of appreciation. The Fate Reference Book was now taken from the bridegroom. He rose, assisted by the Pak Chindek from the gantang and put on his long gown known as the tng sah over which he put on a Chinese jacket of silk heavily embroidered in gold thread. This short jacket is known as the beh kuah. The big round tray and the gantang were removed and the bridegroom paid his respects before the three altars in the same order and in the manner as when his father paid his respects. The serunee music was again played for the ceremony. When the prayers were over, the bridegroom returned to his room and changed his clothes except, as stated earlier, his Chiu Thau clothes. The lights of all the candles on the three altars were then extinguished, but the lights of the two oil lamps on the sam kai and the one on the household altar were kept burning. A special watch was kept on the two oil lamps on the sam kai as it was important that both flames remained lit. At the bride’s house, a similar ceremony was held at the same auspicious hour. As in the bridegroom’s case, after the candles on the three altars were lit, the bride’s father made his obeisance and went into the bride’s room and together with his wife, led the bride out to the hall for the Chiu Than. The preparations for the ceremony took a longer time for the bride. Earlier in the day, the

52

Sang Kheh Umm would have plucked the tiny hairs on the bride’s face using a piece of thread which she manipulated with her teeth and her fingers. She then cut a fringe or berandam on the forehead and the strands of hair growing from each of the bride’s temple were tied with short, thin and red ribbons. It is said that the Sang Kheh Umm could tell that a bride was not a virgin if the fringe kept standing up and the hair at the temples could not be roiled up properly. The bride’s hair was combed and coiled into a bun with its base strengthened by a gold circlet. White jasmine blooms with red ixora blooms placed in their centres were pinned onto the top of the coiled hair, the fragrance and the whiteness of the jasmines signifying purity and the red of the ixora signifying virginity. In the old days, the hair would have been combed and arranged into the sanggul lintang which is a Malay hairstyle made up into an elongated figure of eight lying horizontally at the back of the head. This hair style was discarded by the 1930s. The round, firmly piled hair-do which was used afterward was known as sanggul Chiu Thau or sanggul China. Besides these preparations, one month before the wedding, the bride had to undergo the painful toothfiling operation. This was done by a Malay woman who placed a betel nut between the bride’s teeth and filed them level with a special stone. The bride’s clothes consisted of the long, loose, collarless Malay blouse known as the baju kurong. It was worn over a sarong known as the batik lasom decorated with a pattern of young bamboo leaves or puchok rebong. By the 1930s, the bride’s Chin Thau clothes were replaced by a Chinese jacket of

The bride’s Chiu Thau hairdo known as sanggul china has while jasmine and red ixora blossoms pinned on top. The three silver pins or sundal melor will form part of the bridal crown.

53

A Detail of the pleated bridal skirt in ripe-betel-nut-yellow shows the high standard of tailoring and embroidery. (Courtesy Mr Chan Yew How) white cotton and the Chinese style bridal skirt with a front panel and at least sixty narrow pleats on each side of the skirt. The colour of this skirt was royal yellow known in Malay as kuning pinang masak or the yellow of a ripe betel nut. According to tradition, the number of pleats and the royal yellow of the skirt are some of the favours granted by the Emperor to [hose who got married in this traditional way. It is

54

said that he did this to encourage filial piety, respect for elders and the solemn oath of marriage so that there would be stability in family units, in society and therefore in the nation. During the Chiu Thau for the bride, the Ku Via chosen by the bride’s family would perform the rites of purification similar to the ceremony for the bridegroom. She sat on the hollow end of the rice measure or gantang,

which is the female end and faced the high altar or sam kai and the main door indicating that she was to leave the house. When the ceremony was over, the Sang Kheh Umm removed the jasmines, ixora and the gold circlet and uncoiled the bride’s hair. She then recombed it and wound the coil into a bun on top of the bride’s head. The base of the bun was again firmly supported by the gold circlet for it was important that the bun was tight and firm enough to stand the weight of about one hundred pins of different lengths and designs. Those pins were made of gold and silver and had designs embellished with diamonds at their ends. Each pin was very carefully pushed into position by the Sang Kheh Umm who covered the whole hair-do to form a crown. The biggest of the silver flowers was known by the name of sundal melor. The gold flowers were all known as bunga emas. The coiled bun represented the coils of the dragon. The tail of the dragon was formed by shaping the hair into a buntut belangkas or the sharp spike of the king crab. The head of the dragon was a big pin pushed into the base of the hair-do. This dragon pin or thau tok was said to have been taken from the hair-do of the Empress and given as another sign of imperial favour. When the Sang Kheh Umm was satisfied that the crown was of the right size and not lopsided, she put a decorative band on the bride’s forehead. This band, which was broad in the middle and tapered to the ends, was tied firmly to the back of the bejewelled hairdo. The ends were covered by a leaf-shaped gold piece. The band had a fringe of beads as a symbol of virginity and was known as pak sian because of the gold figures of the Eight Immortals from Chinese

55

56

The bride is a study of patience as the Sang Kheh Umm and her helpers put on the last of the numerous pins to form the bride’s head-dress.

legend which decorated it. Besides these, there was a central figure of an old man sitting on a crane symbolising longevity. The crane held a dangling ornament known as munchong itek in its beak. To complete the bride’s head-dress, two curved pins were pushed into the hair in such way that each pin rested on the temples of the bride. These pins had gold flowers attached to them by springs so that each time the bride moved the two flowers would tremble delicately. These flowers were known by the descriptive name of sunting sunting. When the bride’s head-dress had been completed, the Sang Kheh Umm helped the bride dress in the heavy embroidered ceremonial gown. This gown was of winered silk with flowers and birds embroidered in gold thread. Its long, broad sleeves which ended in bands of green, blue and yellow, were also embroidered in gold thread. When offering prayers and paying respect to elders, these sleeves were slipped one over another to cover the folded arms such that a continuous band of colour was formed. However, when the bride was resting in between ceremonies or when she had to use her hands to offer tea, the sleeves were folded and pinned up so that the banded ends hung only to the wrists. Once the gown had been put on, the Sang Kheh Umm put around the shoulders of the bride a cape of small embroidered flaps which overlapped one another. This cape which represents the neck feathers of the phoenix was hooked up at the front. Four pieces of embroidered strips which look like neckties were then pinned to the cape: two in front and two at the back. These had tassels at their V-shaped ends. Hanging from the back of the cape in between the two bands

57

Five betasseled accessories are worn with the bride’s gown. The butterfly embellished one has a small mirror encased in an amulet to deflect evil influences away from the bride. (Courtesy Mr Chan Yew How)

58

was a coloured braid with intricate knots at intervals and ending in one long tassel. The most important part of this decoration was a small mirror about half way down its length. This was the pak kuah, a miniature version of what some families hang over the main door of their homes to deflect any approaching evil. On the bride’s chest was a velvet bib on which was pinned the family’s heirloom jewellery. Over this, the Sang Kheh Umm hung gold and silver mayoral chains. To complete the outfit, the bride wore soft cloth shoes with embroidered patterns of leaves and flowers. These shoes were tied to the ankles by cloth strips in the same manner as ballet shoes. On the last finger of her left hand, the bride would wear a ring to which was attached a stiff embroidered, triangular handkerchief. The colour of this ornamental handkerchief always matched the colour of the costume worn by the bride. For the full ceremonial costume described above whose colour was merah garlan in Malay, a dark red handkerchief was worn to complement the wine red gown and the royal yellow pleated skirt. Besides the ceremonial koon or some families had another costume made up of a beautiful mauve skirt and a long-sleeved gown in dark green; both were embroidered heavily in gold thread. The green was described as hijau otak udang in Malay and because the costume was worn when the bride sat waiting for the bridegroom to arrive, it was known as baju dudok bilek. For this set, a dark green handkerchief was worn by the bride. Another type of costume worn was the hock chiew which consisted of a short jacket with three-quarter sleeves and a three-quarter length skirt. Both jacket and

Caption: The bridal jacket is cut in the Chinese style and has a mandarin collar. The design comprises the popular peony and phoenix motifs. (Courtesy Mr Chan Yew How)

59

skirt were of one colour, either pale green known in Malay as hijau punchok pisung (light green of the shoot of the banana leaf) or pink. For the hock chiew, the handkerchief was mandatory. The hock chiew was worn only for the less formal occasions such as the fifth day Chia” Siah and the Twelfth Day Ceremony. When the bride was properly dressed, she was led to worship at the three altars but did not perform the kow tow as it was impossible for her to do so due to the weight of her costume. With folded arms on her chest, she was assisted by the Sang Kheh Umm and the Bukak Koon to kneel down slowly and gracefully. In order to facilitate the kneeling movements, the royal yellow skirt used for such ceremonies consisted of two separate pieces joined together at the waist by strings attached to each piece. To the strains of and in time to serunee music, the bride knelt, with her body upright and raised her folded arms away from her chest very slowly and sank back on her heels gracefully while equally slowly bringing her folded arms back to her chest. A master serunee player could play excruciatingly slowly and thus lead the bride to perform a graceful series of coordinated arm and body movements, in spite of the heavy gold and silver crown on her head, the weight of jewels on her chest and the heavy costume. However, there were some brides who were so clumsy with no sense of timing at ail that even the combined efforts of the best Sang Kheh Umm and serunee player came to nought. Of course, the Sang Kheh Umm would be furious and may have even administered a pinch or two to the bride for letting her down before a hall packed with spectators.

60

When the bride had finished worshipping before the three altars, she left the hail for her room, again accompanied by the serunee besar. The music, played in a faster tempo, was louder and the bigger drum as well as the Javanese gong were used. The flute was not played for this purpose. There again, the training of the Sang Kheh Umm played a great part, for the bride was trained how to walk slowly and gently, swinging her shoulders gracefully in time with the music. Her eyes were downcast as befits a modest maiden and on no account could she look openly at the people around her. As soon as she reached her room, the serunee music stopped and, as in the bridegroom’s house, the lights of the candles on all the altars were extinguished with the exception of those of the oil lamps on the sam kai and the household altar. The Chiu Thau ceremonies for both the bride and the bridegroom were now over. The Chiu Thau was so important a part of the Baba marriage ceremonies that it was the greatest insult to say to someone that he or she had married with-our going through the ceremony. In Baba Malay, such marriages were called kawin tak dudok gantang, that is, to get married without sitting on the rice measure for the Chiu Thau ceremony, the implication was that he or she did not go through matrimony and that the marriage was therefore not recognised, which in turn implied that any offspring of such a union was illegitimate. Before going on lo the next part of the marriage ceremony, it is useful at this stage to describe the changes in the costumes of the bridegroom from the first decade of this century to those recently worn for a traditional wedding. The changes corresponded

Caption: Leggings and embroidered knee pads were worn by the bridegroom under his robes and were therefore rarely noticed. (Courtesy Mr Chan Yew How)

6611

approximately with the period before and after the Chinese Revolution of 1911. Before the revolution and up to the 1920s, there were still many Chinese and Babas who refused to cut off their queues. In fact, I remember an old man living near my house in Malacca who was still clinging to his queue as late as 1939. In the same manner, there were many families who followed the Manchu style of dressing for the bridegroom. The head gear was a conical hat with gold button at the top from which red threads ran down on all sides to the rim. Instead of the single diamond brooch pinned onto the hat just over the forehead, there were three brooches all of different sizes. The biggest brooch was at the rim of the hat, a smaller one was over it and the smallest was right at the top. The wedding hat of this type was called kopiah aloleh. It was also sometimes jokingly referred to as kopiah kang satay -— the satay seller’s hat. The bridegroom’s costume consisted of the long gown of a Manchu official with a square of embroidered silk on the chest. This was worn over a longer gown which reached the ankles. The shoes were half boots of embroidered material with thick soles. With time, the long Manchu outfit was discarded and the long gown and short jacket known as the tng sah beh kua were adopted, but the hat was still Manchu style although the conical hat was no longer worn. It should be pointed out here that the conical hat was only worn with the long Manchu gowns, never with the tng sah beh kua. The type of Manchu hat worn after the kopiah aloleh was one with upturned brim which used to be worn by Manchu courtiers. Only one diamond-shaped brooch was pinned in front of this type of hat. By the 1930s this was also discarded and the

62

Mandarin cap or hwa boh was introduced. By this time too, the Chinese male had cut off his queue. The bridegroom’s shoes were of two types, either the soft embroidered Chinese shoes or half boots with thick soles. The cloth shoes were worn when the wedding did not include the use of sedar chairs, in other words, when there was no procession. When sedan chairs and processions were involved, then boots were worn. In any case, whenever the bridegroom appeared in public, he had to carry a fan even if it was folded. When he walked in procession, he fanned himself slowly and with dignity. Another use of the fan was that of a shield to protect his face when grains of yellow uncooked rice were thrown at him and his part like confetti when they arrived at the bride’s house. When a formal greeting with clasped hands had to be made, the folded fan with a red silk handkerchief wrapped around it was held between both hands. It is interesting to note that the ornate ceremonial costumes of both the bride and the bridegroom as well as their accessories were all ordered from Shanghai. China. In the days before the Pacific War, rich families would send a retainer all the way to Shanghai just to order the clothes. There was an old gentleman living opposite my aunt in Malacca who used to make these trips. Ii was also possible to order these items from a Shanghainese tailor living in Singapore. This was vouched for by a Malaccan lady whose aunt, Wak Teck, was one of the best Mak Andams or Sang Kheh Umm in Malacca. Wak Teck used to visit Singapore during the months when weddings were not held to place her orders with this Shanghainese

tailor. There are therefore, no grounds to the conjecture that the brides themselves sewed the costumes. An inspection of the costumes will show that this was beyond the ability of even skilled Nyonyas. It is also not true to say that these costumes were used for other occasions. Wedding costumes are wedding costumes and many Malacca families still have them, having kept them very carefully from one generation to another and taking them out only for weddings. The ceremony which followed the Chin Thau was the marriage ceremony. It usually took place before noon, on the same morning of the Chin Thau.

Caption: The Baha bridegroom wore four layers of clothes on his wedding day: white Chiu Thau suit, bamboo vest, long Chinese gown and a grand short jacket. (Courtesy Mr Chan Yew How)

63

64

5 Chim Pang Meeting of the Bride & Bridegroom

The bridal couple meet ceremonially for the first time during the Chim Pang ritual.

During more conservative times, this was the day when the bride and bridegroom met for the first time in their lives. This was also the day when the bride was given away by her parents to begin her married life. The day’s ceremonies were as important as the Chiu Thau ceremony and even more colourful. The ceremonies began with the Lighting of the Candles ritual performed by the fathers of the bride and bridegroom in their respective houses. This was done in a manner similar to that at the start of the Chiu Thau. After all the candles were lit, the libation to the “King of Heaven” or pai chew took place. The father stood facing the sum kai while his assistants, standing on either side of him, faced each other. One assistant would begin by lighting three big joss-sticks. He then handed them to the father who raised them above his head three times and had them put in the rice-filled joss-stick by the other assistant. The libation itself now took place. The father knelt in front of the altar on both knees while the assistants fell on one knee each. One of these stewards held a wine vessel while the other a wine cup with two handles, both items having been

65

taken from the sam kai. The cup was filled with wine and handed to the father. Raising it first to the altar as an offering, he bent down, supported himself with his left hand and poured the wine onto the floor from left to right three times. This having been done, the cup was refilled and put together with the wine vessel, back on the sam kai. The ceremony which followed is known as the Ki Beh or literally, mounting the horse, for in the past in China, a bridegroom would actually go to the bride’s house riding a horse. This was the ceremony in which the bridegroom’s father bade him a safe journey as he left home to meet his bride. The first stage of the ceremony was the formal meal for the bridegroom and his party of six attendants. A square table was placed in the space between the two main alters and a red table cloth was put over it. The side of the table nearest to the sam kai was covered with a tok wee. The table was set with silver bowls, saucers and chopsticks as well as several symbolic items. There was a pineapple, complete with shoots, which suggested the coming of luck, and flanking it were bowls of oranges and cut sugar cane decorated in the same manner as those on the altars. Seven high-backed chairs stood around three sides of the table. Red chair-covers and flat silk cushions were put on them. However, the bridegroom and his party were not to take their seats until they had been formally invited to do so. This was done by the Chu Lang who hosted the meal on behalf of the bridegroom’s father. The invitation was extended by a very formal greeting or kia lay. The Chu Lang faced the bridegroom and raised his clasped hands in greeting.

66

Moving his clasped hands to the left side of his body, he took three steps forward towards the bridegroom. The groom would respond by similarly raising his clasped hands but bringing it to the right side of his body. He then, also took three steps forward, passing the Chu Lang on a parallel course. The bridegroom could now approach the dining table and stood at the middle of the side nearest to the household altar awaiting the members of his party to perform the kia lay. When they had all done so, the bridegroom raised his clasped hands again, inviting each to be seated. After responding with similar gestures, the party took their seats. On either side of the groom, who sat at the head of the table was a good friend or supporter known as the Pua” Kia. On the left of the Pua” Kia sat the Master of Ceremonies and an unmarried male relative of the groom. The places directly opposite these seats were taken by the two Pah Kim who were two male teenagers who served as gong beaters. Every member of the party wore a long gown and short jacket, a mandarin cap and soft cloth shoes. The bridegroom’s clothes were, of course, outstanding because of the heavy gold embroidery on them. There were also the gold button and the diamond-shaped brooch on his cap. In the old days, a strip of yellow silk was tied to the button of the bridegroom’s cap as a sign of imperial favour. The tug sah beh kua of the Pua” Kias were of the same colour. Similarly, the clothes of the Pah Kims matched. When everyone was seated, the Chu Lang served the bridegroom wine while servants did likewise for the rest of the party. The bridegroom then raised his cup to every member of his party and when they had

This bridegroom of the 1960s wears a mandarin hat. He is being served wine by his father during the Ki Beh ceremony before leaving his home to meet his bride.

67

68

responded in the like manner, everyone drank. Rice was then served. At that point, the two young gong-beaters rose from their seats and played their gongs. They played two rounds, each consisting of three quick beats and three slow beats followed by a series of quick beats. When the Pah Kims returned to their seats, twelve dishes were served but of these, only three were to be eaten: teh pow, dumplings of wheat flour; tee hee, sliced lung cooked with bamboo shoots and chak bek which is sliced kidneys. The wine cups were then refilled and soup served. Soup was followed by dessert, Chinese tea and finally sireh, betel leaves folded into small triangles. After the meal, the party moved to one side of the hall and the table and chairs were cleared for the next ceremony. In the ceremony which followed, the bridegroom’s father would serve him wine for the only time of his life. The bridegroom performed kow tows before the three altars and when he had done so his father stepped forward from the left side of the hall where he stood waiting with his two assistants. One assistant poured wine into a cup held by the other who handed it to the father when it was filled. The father, receiving the cup with both hands, offered it to his son who knelt before him. Alter the bridegroom had drunk from it, his father had the cup refilled and also drank from it. The bridegroom then got up and offered wine in the same cup to the Master of Ceremonies and then to each member of his party. When everyone had drunk from the cup, the bridegroom’s father put a red silk sash over the left shoulder of the Master of Ceremonies. The male and female gongs were beaten alternately and the

whole party processed out of the house led by the bridegroom. As the bridegroom reached the road, his father, having lit a small candle from an oil lamp of the sam kai, would use it to light the firecrackers inside a six-sided cage decorated with panels of colourful tinsel whose frame had paper flowers. The bridegroom had to step over the exploding crackers before his party could form up for the procession to the bride’s house. This act was to ward off any evil which might harm the bridegroom. While all these ceremonies were being carried out in the bridegroom’s home, the bride’s father performed similar ceremonies of libation to the “King of Heaven” and offering of wine to the bride. However, unlike the bridegroom who had to go through the Ki Beh ceremony, the bride went through the Giving Away Ceremony, The bride was led out to the hall where she knelt before her parents. A square black veil of fine netting was put on top of her gold and silver crown, covering her face and falling to her shoulders. This veil was quite large and had a piece of round red cloth in its centre. It symbolised the sorrow of giving away a daughter. Thus, when it was being put on, many of the women present would shed a sentimental tear or two. Black was also believed to drive away evil. When the veil was in place, the bride, assisted by the Sang Kheh Umm and the Bukak Koon walked slowly to her room to await the arrival of the bridegroom. The black veil was left on and only the bridegroom could remove it alter the Chim Pang ceremony. At the bridegroom’s house, the procession to the bride’s house had formed up. Apart from the bridegroom’s party, the procession

69

comprised of many men who carried banners, umbrellas and lanterns. In days gone by, these men were immigrant Amboynese from the Dutch East Indies, employed in Baba households and referred to as Pak Boyan. More recently, Chinese labourers took the role. They were given batik bajus and trousers over which they wore short sarongs. They also put on batik headcloths. Some of these bearers sometimes balked at having to wear such clothes as they felt strange, not having worn a sarong in their lives. As a matter of interest, these batik costumes are still kept by families who hope their children will marry in the full traditional style. Two bearers led the way, carrying the pair of ji seh teng — the family lanterns bearing (he bridegroom’s surname. These were carried so that the one on the left had the surname facing the head of the procession while the one on the right had the Chinese character facing the opposite direction. The lanterns were specially made in Singapore and could be folded when not in use. These lanterns were not the ones hung over the main door of homes but were special ones, fixed on long, red poles and mounted on heavy wooden stands. Known as teng kaki, they stood outside the groom and bride’s house so that passers-by, on seeing the extra pair of family lanterns before the threshold, would know immediately that a traditional wedding involving sedan chairs and processions was to take place. The Pah Kim or gong-beaters followed the lantern bearers, each shaded from the sun by silk umbrellas which had tassels on their rims. These umbrellas had detachable metal discs on top to which a decorative pattern of beads were fixed. The two Pak Kims beat

70

Caption: Bearers in Pak Boyan costumes pose with two pairs of keong teng.

71

their gongs alternately, the strong bass of the “male” gong alternating with the high pitch of the “female” gong. These gongs were beaten loudly along the route to warn all and sundry to make way for the bridegroom. It was a royal procession of sorts. Red silk buntings, each stretched between two tall bamboo stems with leaves intact at the top made up the third section of the procession. These betasselled buntings, numbering from four to eighteen, but always of an even number, fluttered gaily in the breeze. The Master of Ceremonies, still wearing his red sash followed closely behind. Accompanied on either side by a page boy known as the Kiat Teng, he fanned himself slowly as he walked along in a dignified manner. He and his page boys were also shaded by a big silk umbrella. The next section of the procession consisted of two Pak Boyan, each carrying a silk lantern known as keong teng, symbols of the bridegroom’s status. These lanterns were six-sided and had collapsible frames covered with purple or pale-pink silk embroidered with gold thread. Each lantern was attached to a long, red pole which ended in the carved, gilt head of a dragon. The bearers carried them over their shoulders and held the pole with both hands. Immediately after these lanterns came the bridegroom and his supporters who flanked him. All three men walked slowly and fanned themselves gracefully. They, too, were shaded by big silk umbrellas although the bridegroom’s umbrella was of royal yellow silk. Altogether, eight silk umbrellas were carried. The last section of the procession consisted of the serunee musicians, relatives and close

72

friends of the groom. The procession moved at a slow, steadypace and stopped about one hundred metres from the bride’s house. There, the bridegroom’s family lanterns were removed from their poles and the lighted candles in them were taken out with great care so that they remained lit. These candles were then transferred into a bamboo basket containing one gantang (3.6 kg) of rice. The basket was carried very carefully straight into the bridal chamber where the lighted candles were taken out and fixed on brass candlesticks placed on a side table called the choon tok. While on the subject of candles, it should be noted that at no time, nor in any ceremony of a Baba wedding, were small candles ending in bamboo sticks used. These were considered crude and were not used even for ordinary worship. Once the candles were removed, the procession started again and stopped a few paces from the bride’s house. At this point, the Pah Kim left the procession and moved forward, beating their gongs more and more furiously as they did. When they reached the house, they went straight into the bridal chamber and kept on beating their gongs till the Sang Kheh Umm signalled them to stop. They would do so, put the gongs under the choon tok and leave the room. In the meantime, the keong tengs were also carried into the room and hung from the ceiling just before the bridal bed. While all this was going on, the bridegroom and his party arrived at the main door of the bride’s house. There, they were met by elders who threw uncooked yellow rice at them as a blessing. The yellow rice used is known in Malay as beras kunvit. The bridegroom

and his party warded off the hail of rice by shielding their faces with their fans. The party was also sprinkled with scented water from a long-necked silver sprinkler similar to that used for the ayer mawar at Malay weddings. When the bridegroom stepped towards the main door, he was met by a page who presented him with an orange on a silver saucer. However, he and his party could not

go in the house until they had been invited to do so by an elder of the bride’s family who did so by performing the ceremonial greeting or kia lay. When the bridegroom and his party entered the house, they once again performed the kia lay and were ushered to sit at a table. The bridegroom sat facing the main door with the Master of Ceremonies and the Pua” Kia

73

on his left. The bridegroom’s male relative and the gong beaters, who now rejoined the party, sat on his right. Tea would be served, followed by lien chi kong, a sweet of lotus seeds, seaweed and other delicacies served in sugar water. The bridegroom was also given two hard boiled eggs which were kept by the Pak Chindek till they were served to the bridal couple later on in the evening before the couple went to bed. The groom would feed the bride and she, on eating her portion, feed him. When the designated hour for the Chim Pang ceremony arrived, the Master of Ceremonies knocked a door post three times with his closed fan. Opening the fan with a flourish, he called out loudly in Hokkien. “Kia Sai, Sin Neo, lai chim pang”, inviting the bridegroom and bride to meet each other. A signal was given and the serunee band played the serunee besar, a solemn and slow melody performed mainly by the bigger clarinet, drum and the Javanese gong. Both bride and bridegroom on hearing the music would approach the Master of Ceremonies. At the precise moment the couple met, many spectators would again turn away lest their horoscopes clashed with the bridal couple’s and brought bad luck and illness. Upon meeting the bridegroom, the bride raised her folded arms slowly in time with the serunee music and just as slowly lowered them to her body. The bridegroom responded by raising his clasped hands in greeting. This ritual over, the bride returned to the bridal chamber. She walked lenggang lenggok, gently swaying her shoulders from side to side as a willow caught by a breeze. Her eyes were kept downcast although her face was still covered by the black veil. The

74

groom followed her into the bridal chamber where they stood facing each other. Once again, they performed the ritual greeting and the bridegroom removed the veil and threw it on the bridal bed. This was the moment of truth for the couple, for until then, they had never seen each other before, much less at close quarters. While the groom could, at last, look upon his bride, she was handicapped by tradition which forbade her to look directly at the bridegroom for such an act was considered immodest. It would have taken a bold bride indeed to even try to steal a glance at the bridegroom for the doorway and windows of the bridal chamber were crammed with relatives and friends watching the ceremony. After the veil had been removed, the couple sat near the bed on chairs which faced each other. Then, a page boy came forward and served them tiny cups of tea. After each of them had taken a sip, kueh ih made from the glutinous rice balls from the sam kai was served. Only one red and one white kueh ih were eaten by each of the bridal couple. The remaining kueh ih were joined together by placing the lips of the bowls together and placed under the bridal bed. It was kept there till the twelfth day of the wedding. The kueh ih were followed up by another serving of tea. Makan choon tok was the next ceremony to be performed. The choon tok, which usually stood near a window would be set with the pair of red candles taken earlier from the bridegroom’s family lanterns, two bowls of rice, two pairs of chopsticks, two spoons and twelve varieties of food. A wine vessel and two wine cups, a tea pot and two tea cups completed the table setting.

Unveiling the bride. This ceremony marked the first time that the couple sat together as husband and wife for a meal. Therefore, it was the wifely duty of the bride to serve her husband. She began by pouring him wine and when he had taken a sip, would point to one type of food with her chopsticks. The bridegroom then took a piece of that food and ate it. For this ceremonial meal, only rice, dumplings, sliced kidney, sliced lung and red transparent vermicelli were actually eaten. The meal ended with yet another serving of tea. While they were seated at the choon tok, the spectators watched the bridal couple very carefully, looking out to see if either of them tried to steal a glance at each other or if either of them had succeeded in putting his or her foot on top of the other’s. This last “game” was derived from a charming superstition. It was believed that if the bridegroom

managed to put his foot on top of the bride’s, he would be master of the house, but if she succeeded in putting her foot on the bridegroom’s, she would rule the roost. It was, therefore, not surprising that the couple was at this time, subjected to a great deal of good natured ragging. Another belief of a more sober nature connected with the choon tok related to the bridal candles. It was said that if the candle on the bride’s side of the table went out first, she would be the first of the couple to die and if the candle on the bridegroom’s side was the first to die out, he would be the first of the two to pass away. It was also very important that when the table was cleared after the ceremonial meal, the two candles were left burning and left to go out naturally and as long as they were alight, the marriage could not be consummated.

75

76

6 Sah Jit (Tiga Hari) Thirty Day Celebrations Paying of Respects to the Elders

The bride with uplifted and folded arms pays respects to elders during the third day of the wedding

Early in the morning of the third day’s celebrations, the bridegroom left the bride’s house and returned home as he did every morning from his wedding day. Later, that same morning, a page boy was sent to invite the bridegroom to return to the bride’s home. He addressed the groom respectfully and raised his clasped hands in invitation. The bridegroom responded with similarly clasped hands and returned with the page boy to his bride. Upon his arrival, the bridegroom was served a meal in the bridal chamber. In the meantime, the bride’s father lit all the candles of the sum kai altar, the altar to the household gods and finally the family altar, paying his respects before each by performing the kow tow. As soon as the father had finished his duties, the bride and bridegroom, wearing their full ceremonial robes, emerged from the bridal chamber. They were led to the sam kai where thev paid their respects in the same manner as in the Chiu Thau and Chim Pang ceremonies. The movements performed by them were now made more difficult as they

77

The page girl is helped into the sedan chair backwards because of the restricted space between the carrying poles.

78

had not only to coordinate with the serunee band but also with one another. Having paid their respects to the gods and ancestors, the bride and groom performed the blessing and ceremonial cleansing of two chairs to be used by eiders as they received respect from the bridal couple. These red lacquered, high-backed chairs were placed on either side of the altar, in front of the tall wooden candlesticks holding the wedding candles. The chair on the left, facing the main door, was reserved for male members of the family while the ladies sat on the one to the right. Each chair was covered with a long piece of red cloth richly embroidered with stylised bats, symbolising happiness. The seats were covered with square, red silk cushions. The bridegroom and bride cleaned the chairs for male and female elders respectively. Standing before the chair, the groom moved his clasped hands in a clockwise motion over the seat. The bride performed a similar ritual with folded arms. Once this was done, the bridal couple retired to a position between the sam kai and the household altars, the bridegroom standing on the right of the bride, to await the elders to come forward and seat themselves. Relatives came forward according to seniority based on the generation they belonged. Grandparents, if still living, were always seated before the bride’s parents and so on. Baba families were large in the past, and often to save time, the elders of the same generation would receive the respects of the bridal couple together, standing in a row before the altar. The whole ritual was performed to the accompaniment of the serunee musicians.

Red buntings or bunga terateh hang from a richly carved sedan chair ridden by the bridegroom (hidden) and his page boy.

79

The bridegroom showed his respect by performing the kow tow while the bride only knelt. The number of times they did this depended on the elders’ seniority; grandparents and parents being entitled to no less than three while other elders, fewer times, although it was the elder who signalled the couple to stop by getting up from the chair. Male relatives would also raise their clasped hands in response while female relatives went to the bride and touched her folded arms in acknowledgement. It was considered scandalous for relatives to remain seated longer than they ought, although it was not unknown for an elder to refuse to rise in order to punish the bride or bridegroom for a previous transgression. Happily, the couple were provided with special embroidered knee pads to ease the strain of this filial duty. However, the couple’s efforts did not go unappreciated or unrewarded. Gifts of cash, jewellery and even title deeds were placed on trays on chairs in front of the lower table of the household altar. These gifts, known as tek pai, were displayed not so much to show off as to seek the blessings of the gods. Cash was put in long ang pows while jewellery was sewn onto similar red envelopes with red thread. Title deeds were wrapped in red paper and the name of the giver was, as in the cash and jewellery, written on the envelope in black Chinese ink. While the ceremony of paying respects was being carried out, sedan chairs were drawn up to the five-foot-way of the bride’s home, their doors facing the house. These were to convey the bridal couple to the groom’s house in grand style. At a glance, these chairs looked identical. Each had a curved roof of four wooden panels with up-turned

80

corners decorated with gilt dragon heads. Lengths of red bunting were wrapped round the knob at the top of the roof so that their four tasselled ends hung from the corners of the roof; these were tied halfway down their lengths into lotus flowers or bunga terateh. Their sides were of panels of good, strong wood with richly carved and gilt windows on three sides, the back window being of one panel, hinged at the top and held open by a length of wood. The doors, consisting of two narrow panels, were also heavily carved with patterns of leaves and flowers. When opened, they revealed stout wooden seats, painted in red and covered by long pieces of red cloth and red cushions. The sedan chairs were stained brown and gilt while the roof was a darker brown, generally giving an effect of dignity and elegance. Be as it may, although the sedan chairs were essentially similar in design, there was an important and significant difference. The ‘’male” chair, intended for the bridegroom had two knobs, a smaller one on a bigger one, on top of the roof while the “female” chair had a single knob. Each sedan chair was carried by four bearers, two in front and two at the back. When the passengers alighted, the short cross-bar joining the front carrying shafts was removed to let them out. It was not possible to tilt the sedan chairs because of their weight. When the bride and bridegroom had paid their respect to all the elders of the bride’s family, they prepared to leave for the groom’s home. Accompanied by a page boy and page girl, the couple was ushered to the sedan chairs. There, both bride and groom had to get into the chairs backwards because of the lack of space between the carrying shafts and

81

82

the bulk of their ceremonial clothes. Here, the Sang Kheh Umm and Pak Chindek played invaluable parts to ensure that the couple got to their seats without any mishap or loss of dignity. When they were safely seated, the page boy and page girl were also helped into the sedan chairs and stood in front of the groom and bride respectively. The sedan chairs were now carried to take their places in the procession to the bridegroom’s house. The groom’s family lanterns, carried on tall poles, led the way followed by a red bunting carried between two bamboo stems with leaves intact. The bride’s family lanterns, also on tall poles, were next in line; they were backed up by another red bunting also stretched between two bamboo stems. Immediately after came the bridegroom’s silk lanterns or keong teng and the bride’s silk lanterns. Then came the bridegroom’s sedan chair followed closely by the bride’s. Both were shaded by big, yellow, silk and betasselled umbrellas carried on tall poles. Bringing up the rear of the procession were the serunee musicians, relatives, friends and sometimes a brass band playing marches and other gay tunes. When the procession arrived at the bridegroom’s house, the two sedan chairs were carried abreast with each other and set down facing the main door. The groom was the first to get out and waited at the threshold for the bride. When she arrived at the door, a small girl would greet her and present her with an orange on a silver saucer. The bridegroom then raised his clasped hands to the bride, inviting her to enter his house. The bride acknowledged by lifting her folded A page girl welcomes the bride.

83

arms and the party then proceeded into the groom’s home. Inside the house, the bridal couple first paid their respects before three altars and then to the relatives of the groom’s family. The business of paying of respects could take a long time as the bridegroom had to leave the hall after each pair or group had been paid the respects due to them and search for the next relative who may be in any part of the house. To add to time spent, some relatives played hard to get and had to be cajoled to sit on the chairs of honour. Some were, of course, genuinely shy while others thought it best not to seem too eager to be so honoured. As the bridegroom searched for and coaxed his relatives, the poor bride had to wait patiently in the hail until they took their seats. As in the bride’s house, gifts were also presented and displayed before the household altar. When all the relatives had been given their due respect, the bride was ushered into the inner hall of the house where her mother-inlaw fed her sweet things to ensure that their relationship may be equally sweet. The bride then served tea to the bridegroom’s elders. This ceremony served not only to introduce the bride to each relative but also as a gesture of acknowledgement by the relative that the bride was accepted as part of the family. When the tea ceremony was over, the bride and bridegroom prepared to return to the bride’s house. For this return journey, the bride’s family lanterns, silk lanterns and sedan chair took precedence over those of the bridegroom’s. On arrival, the couple once again paid respects before the three altars before retiring into the bridal chamber. As the bride left the hall, she stopped at the household altar and removed the kemunchak

84

stuck on top of an elaborate three-tiered arrangement known as the sireh darah. This structure was decorated with leaves, flowers, birds made from green betel nuts and colourful paper banners of many shapes and sizes. It symbolised the three generations of a family and also represented the mountain on which the phoenix lived. Children at the wedding waited eagerly for the kemunchak to be removed because as soon as it had been done, the various decorations were pulled out and distributed to the youngsters. The ang pow provided by the bride’s mother and put under the sireh darah was traditionally given to the Bukak Koon. The kemunchak, taken by the bride to the bridal chamber, was a red wooden bird. It symbolised her virginity and represented the phoenix which would rather plunge into fire on the death of her mate rather than take a new one. The bird, therefore, also stood for fidelity. After a short rest in the bridal chamber, the bride and bridegroom were obliged to return to their sedan chairs again. This time, their journey brought them to the main temple of the town where they paid their respects to the gods and goddesses. Should the bridegroom’s family have an ancestral house in the same town, the couple had also to go and pay respects before the memorial tablets of the groom’s deceased ancestors. However, before they could proceed there, the bridegroom had first to send to the ancestral home, a pair of red candles, four bowls of kueh ih and one chie” hup complete with its decorations. The Third Day Ceremony and its journeying was officially over when the bridal couple returned from the temple or ancestral home. At the bride’s home, they

were shown straight to the bridal chamber for a well deserved rest. Although the bridegroom spent the night with the bride, he had to wake up early the next morning and leave for his own home before the bride’s parents awoke. From that day to the Twelfth Day’s celebrations, the bridegroom’s way was lit back to the bride’s home every evening by a page boy carrying a lighted lantern. Sometimes, the bride’s family adopted the custom of having the bridegroom live as part of their household. In such cases, the groom was spared the journeying back and forth every morning and evening during those early days of marriage. This custom of adopting a bridegroom was known to the Babas as “pungut menantu masok rumah”, a practice which might have been influenced by adat perpatih of Naning, A!or Gajah which expected, and in fact required, a married man to live at the residence of his wife.

The practice was, of course, more of an exception than the rule for the Babas as most bridegrooms and their families, out of selfrespect, did not care much for such a custom. However, the custom was often followed when the bridegroom was orphaned or had no immediate relative living in the vicinity. Another situation in which a man would agree to such an arrangement was when he did not have the means to support a wife, much less to bear the cost of a full traditional wedding. In such a case, the young man concerned was usually of such good character and repute that the bride’s family gladly bore the wedding expenses and agreed to support their son-in-law. This arrangement certainly had its benefits but the bridegroom concerned had also to bear the brunt of a Malay phrase: “chuchi kaki naik ranjang” — “to wash one’s feet and get on the bridal bed”, a taunt that undoubtedly took away some pleasure from marital bliss.

85

86

7 Chian Sia Celebration with the Bridegroom’s Peers

The Sin Seh or Master of Ceremonies (left) and the Pak Chindek are key personae in the proper conduct of a Baba wedding.

The Hokkien phrase “Chia” Sia” has a charming literal meaning — “Invitation to the Sons of the Gentility” — for indeed, the Babas are genteel folk. The invitations, put in long red envelopes, were personally delivered by the bride’s younger brother or a male relative of the same generation. They were extended to all the bridegroom’s peers: friends and relatives alike. The invitation informed each that he was to be present at the bride’s home on the fifth day of the wedding to be formally introduced to the bride. Although the Chian Sia celebrations were not till the evening of the fifth day, the bride busied herself that morning, and accompanied by her newly married women friends went to the bridegroom’s house. In the days of strict tradition, she would dress in the Malay baju kurong and sarong made of a brocade interwoven with silver and gold threads. This was the kain songket which is still being produced in the states of Kelantan and Trengganu on the east coast of Peninsular Malaysia. The suit of kain songket was part of the lap chai sent to the bride by the bridegroom’s family. In more

87

modern times, the brocade suit was replaced by the sarong kebaya, another dress of Malay influence comprising a light short jacket worn over a matching sarong. Thus properly attired, the bride visited the groom’s home to be introduced to the women folk from her husband’s family who belonged to the same generation as herself. This custom was very similar to the Malay bertandang where Malay brides and their friends had, by custom, to visit the bridegroom’s relations. That evening, the bridegroom, carried in his sedan chair, left for the bride’s house as part of a jovial, high-spirited procession. The way was lit by his family lanterns and the red bunting across bamboo poles announced his presence. Serunee musicians followed the sedan chair and friends, laughing, singing and teasing made a merry scene. A brass band or a modern musical group was sometimes added to the revelry. At the bride’s house, the bridegroom first paid his respects to his parents and parentsin-law before proceeding to the bridal chamber. There, the bride, dressed in a pink hock chiew costume, wa ited at the door. The celebrations began when the bridegroom poured Chinese rice wine into a cup held by the bride who offered it to each of the guests, beginning with the Pua” Kia (the bridegroom’s supporters), the Master of Ceremonies and the two Pah Kim (gong beaters). The rest of the party followed. As each guest sipped the wine, he would tell a joke, recite a Hokkien four line verse known as si ku or a Malay quatrain called pantun. Others would try a bit of clowning or tease, the whole idea being to induce the bride to giggle or laugh — and if she did, the bridegroom was bound to pay the traditional

88

forfeit of another dinner for those present. The Sang Kheh Umm used to help brides control themselves by making them grip a piece of betel nut between their teeth. Guests who had been served by the bride joined the party of merrymakers in eating, drinking, singing and, where a ronggeng party had been engaged for the evening, dancing as well. If there were good singers present, a dondang sayang session would ensue. Accompanied by a violin, Javanese gong and Malay drums, participants carried out a battle of wits, improvising as they exchanged humour, flattered or goaded. Babas loved the quickness of the repartee and once begun in a situation such as a wedding, dondang sayang sessions often did not end till the early hours of the morning. When each guest was ready to tread their way homeward, they received a bunga rampai, a potpourri of thinly sliced pandanus leaves and colourful petals sprinkled with perfume. Put in tiny and cleverly decorated baskets, these nosegays helped these joyous times of Chia” Sia celebrations linger as sweet memories.

Two red ribbons tied to the bride’s temples signifies her virginity. In her hands, the demure bride holds a stiff formal handkerchief.

89

90

8 Duabelas Hari The Twelfth Day, Serving of Nasi Lemak

A tempat sireh set and a tray containing ‘evidence’ are vital elements as the women folk of the two families meet to deliberate during Duabetas Hari, the Twelfth Day celebrations. (Courtesy Katong Antique House)

Nasi Lemak is rice steamed in coconut milk. The nasi lemak which was served during the Twelfth Day ceremony of Baba weddings had to be prepared with great care. Made with a good grade of rice and steamed by an expert, the rice would surely turn out perfect, each individual rice grain saturated with the rich flavour of coconut milk. Steaming was traditionally done in a wooden steamer lined with banana leaves; the process was repeated and there was no danger that the rice would not be properly cooked. The addition of a few sweet-smelling pandanus leaves gave the rice a special aroma. There used to be a lady in Malacca who was such an expert in making nasi lemak that she was always called upon to cook this special rice so much so that people referred to her as Bibi Nasi Lemak — Aunty Nasi Lemak. Nasi Lemak was served at formal occasions with twenty-four dishes including sambals. Of these, sambal serunding was the most important one for Duabelas Hari celebrations for the word “serunding” has its root in the Malay word “runding” which means “negotiation”. Indeed, total agreement

91

in the discussion was essential as the female elders of the two families met on that day to decide a vital issue. And it was only when agreement had been reached in this matter that the nasi lemak, which had been prepared by the groom’s family, would be sent to the bride’s household telling one and all that all was well. The vital issue in question was the proof of the bride’s virginity on the night that the marriage was consummated. A room was specially set aside for the meeting and the ladies from both families sat behind closed doors to deliberate. Two trays were put in the centre of a mat and the ladies sat around them. One tray contained a ceremonial tempah sireh, complete with sireh leaves, lime, gambier and sliced betel nuts. The other tray, covered with a red cloth, contained the evidence on which the bride’s and thus, her family’s reputation lay. The evidence was a one metre length of white cotton stained with blood. It rested on a bed of bunga rampai. A saucer containing some limes and a sharp knife was placed next to the tray containing the cloth. The bride’s mother opened the proceedings by inviting the bridegroom’s mother to inspect the length of cotton. The bridegroom’s mother would, in all courtesy, be reluctant to do so; but after much persuasion, she and her relatives would at least take the red covering from the tray and glance at the cotton material. This part of the proceedings was usually a mere formality but if there was any suspicion for one reason or another, then one of the bridegroom’s relatives would ask for the limes. She would cut them and the ladies would squeeze their juice onto the stains, for it was believed that the lime

92

juice would cause fake blood to run. It was, quite understandably, a very serious matter for such a test to be carried out, and it was usually avoided. It would have soured the relationship between the two families, or at least caused a great deal of embarrassment to the groom’s relatives, if their suspicions proved to be unfounded. Once both parties were in happy agreement, they left the room and sent the good news that the nasi lemak could be sent to the bride’s house. The rice was delivered in big Chinese baskets known as bakul sian. However, if the stains proved to be other than what it ought to be, then the bridegroom’s party would at once over-turn the tempat siren as a sign of protest and leave the room. Negotiations would then begin for compensation and the whole marriage would be declared null and void. This was however, a very rare event. While the nasi lemak was being despatched to the bride’s house, the ladies who viewed the evidence adjourned to a long dining table for the nasi lemak feast. When this group had finished, the dishes were replenished and another group of friends and relatives sat down for their meal. Everyone had his turn. This method of having meals was the tok panjang style of the Babas. As soon as the nasi lemak arrived at the bride’s house, signalling that all was well, the bride left for the groom’s house dressed in her green hock chiew costume. Upon her arrival, she paid her respects to her parentsin-law and other elders. Since she was no longer dressed in the long sleeved wedding costume, the respects were paid in a different manner. In this instance, she performed what is known as the sembah — the Malay way of paying respects to royalty. The bride knelt

before the elder and raised her hands, palms pressed together, to her forehead. This had to be done slowly and gracefully. It was also correct for the bride to serve tea to elders at this time. Shortly after, the bride took her leave to return home. Before she left, she was given a pair of sugar canes complete with leaves and roots. These had bands of red paper attached to them, one at the top near the leaves and another about a third of a metre from the roots. The symbolic gift wished the bridal couple a long and sweet life together. The bride was also given a cockerel and a hen. When she reached home, the fowls were taken to the bridal chamber and released under the bridal bed. There was much excitement and laughter as the chickens were coaxed out for it was believed that if the cockerel was the first to emerge, the couple’s first child would be a boy and if the hen preceded the cockerel, a girl would be the firstborn. With this suspenseful day done, there was only a pair of celebrations to enjoy before the wedding ceremonies came to an end. These were the coming together of both families at two getting-to-know-you dinners.

93

94

9 Chian Ching Kay, Che Umm Invitation to the Parents-in-law

When a Baba addressed the parents-in-law of his son or daughter, he never referred to them by name. He used, instead, the Hokkien terms Ching Kay and Che Umm for his child’s father-in-law and mother-in-law respectively. These terms were also generally used by all members of the family. According to tradition, soon after the Twelfth Day celebrations, the bridegroom’s parents would extend an invitation to the bride’s parents to a dinner party. This would be reciprocated by the bride’s parents. Although the title of this chapter suggests that the invitation was extended only to the parents, in practice, it included all the immediate members of both families. The main purpose of the dinners was to create opportunities for the two families to get to know one another better in a relaxed and informal atmosphere. They were now one family related through marriage and each understood that a happy relationship between households could help make any marriage a success. The establishment of a close bond between the families was important to the Babas because marriage was not only seen

95

as a union of two individuals but also of households. Among the rich, marriage was also one means of keeping wealth within families of equal status. Another reason was the reluctance of Babas to marry outside the community, even to non-Baba Chinese, for cultural reasons. This tendency encouraged unions among cousins and other close relations resulting in families being related to one another many times over. This in-breeding however led to some unfortunate results. Nevertheless, kinship was considered of such great importance to the Babas that the bonds among relations, stretching across several generations, were close and intimate. Filial piety was a virtue which was very strong. A harmonious relationship among new relations was, therefore, also important. Until recently, Baba families lived together within the traditional concept of an extended family. All children, unmarried and married, lived together and that is why old Baba homes are spacious, comprising of many halls and extending hundreds of metres — designed to accommodate the large number of people who lived as one big family under one roof. When all the guests and relatives had gone home and the paraphernalia used in the various ceremonies had been collected, cleaned and kept very carefully for the next wedding in the family, the bridal chamber was still kept as the bridal chamber. For one month after the wedding, the room would be incensed regularly and fresh pot pourri of bunga rampai strewn on the pillows and bedcovers of the bridal bed and scattered on trays in the room. Every night, the bridal couple would be served a rich and energy-

96

giving tiam sim. This food could either be bird’s nest soup, chicken soup or pulot hitam, a glutinous rice porridge served with preserved mata kucing. During those early days of marriage, the most pampered person in the household was not the bride but the bridegroom. On the other hand, the bride had not only to look after the welfare and happiness of her husband, but also to dance attendance on her parents-inlaw. She had to wake up before the elders and serve them with their toilet articles before breakfast. She had to attend to them at all meals, standing by the table, seeing to it that the old folks had meat and rice in their bowls. Sometimes, she was asked to fan her father - or mother-in-law and always, she had to help in the cooking and other household chores. This was the time when strict training by mothers paid off. Happily, not all parents-in-law insisted on this regal treatment but well brought up daughters-in-law knew, nevertheless, what was expected of them. She did every chore without complaint. She was well aw-are that her family’s reputation stood or fell on her behaviour.

Part of an extended family posing for a formal portrait, circa 1910. (Courtesy Mdm. Lee Joo Yean)

97

98

10 Epilogue

The traditional feeding of the bride performed in a modern setting reflects the nudging out of age old customs by 20th century pragmatism.

The last known full traditional wedding, complete with a sedan chair procession and all its attendant ceremonies, was held in Malacca in 1953. Although there have been Baba weddings since where traditional costumes were worn, the various ceremonies which used to last for days were usually telescoped into a single day. It is very difficult to hold a full traditional Baba wedding today. The difficulty in collecting all the necessary paraphernalia, the amount of time and money required and the lack of expert knowledge all contribute to this. Furthermore, very few families today can afford to spend twenty days on ceremonies and feasting. Such leisurely and gracious ways of life are gone forever. However, Malacca being Malacca, abridged versions of the Baba wedding are still practised. These shortened forms are based on the core of the rituals: the Chiu Thau, the wedding day ceremonies and the Third Day ceremonies. These are held on one day. Sometimes, a nominal Twelfth Day celebration is held on the sixth day when nasi lemak is still served although the proof

99

of the bride’s virginity is no longer carried out. Some families practise the formal exchange of gifts or Lap Chai but most pre-wedding festivities such as the Sang Ih, Khui Thian and Hari Menyamhal are dispensed with. Similarly, the sedan chair procession is not held although the pair of wedding sedan chairs owned by the Cheng Hoon Teng temple in Malacca and on loan to the Muzium Negara, Kuala Lumpur, can be made available.

100

In any case, imagine the snarl a long, slow wedding procession will cause to the traffic of even Malacca town, not to mention Singapore. The more conservative families prefer to have their children dressed in the traditional wedding finery when they perform the central rites of the wedding. This desire, however, is seriously hampered by the gradual loss of the many items of nuptial costumes. Many pieces have been lost, dispersed or damaged. The fine craftsmanship of the costumes and bridal crown, once flawed,

The multi-layered phoenix cape is one of the bridal regalia that is becoming increasingly rare. (Courtesy Mr Chan Yew How)

cannot be easily refurbished because of the lack of skilled craftsmen. Even the gold filigree buttons for the bridegroom’s cap and bridal shoes are scarce although there are stories of how these items surface in the most unexpected circumstances. Not too long ago, a Baba gentleman, whilst browsing in a jumble sale, picked up an authentic pair of bridal shoes for a song. Similarly, conscientious collectors, on going through the discarded odds and ends of families moving out of their ancestral homes, have found themselves new owners of prized artifacts. Although these are not unknown occurrences, Baba families who still possess wedding costumes regard

them, quite correctly, as priceless and keep them well. They are heirlooms that are treasured in the hope that, one day, a member of the family-will choose to marry in the traditional Baba way. For families who do not own the costumes, the bridal couple go through the ceremonies in western bridal clothes. As white is the colour for deep mourning for the Babas, brides are obliged to wear something red with their wedding gowns to break the taboo. This desire to cling to customary attitudes has led to many compromises and adaptations of the traditional form of Baba weddings. Whatever the variation, the attitudes of responsibility in marriage, filial piety and the desire to wish the couple well, which are all central to Baba wedding rites, are always present. The Chiu Thau ceremony is carried out in full — down to the smallest detail. Also, the bride and groom pay their respects to the gods and elders and perform the tea ceremony. The wish for divine benediction has also led to the preservation of some quaint practises besides the consultation of the Book of Fate for the choice of the wedding day. Bridal cars, bedecked with fluttering ribbons and a bridal doll riding on the bonnet, can still be seen carrying a pair of sugarcane plants on their roofs. Some families perform the Ann Chng or the blessing of the bridal bed and may even go the extent of releasing a hen and cockerel under it to predict the sex of the first born! The Baba wedding is the epitome of Baba culture. In its colourful and meaningful rituals, trappings, cuisine and crafts, the wedding of a Baba to a Nyonya in traditional style not only encapsulates the heritage in which they were brought up but also highlights the customs and attitudes which make the Babas unique personae among the communities which live in South East Asia.

101

102

Appendix 1

The Sireh Darah

The sireh darah sits prettily on the lower table of the family altar. The bride removes the kemunchak (red phoenix) and takes it into the bridal chamber during the Third Day ceremonies as a testimony of her virginity.

The sireh darah is the symbolic mountain of the phoenix which stands for the bride’s virginity. It is built on a heavy bronze or copper bowl with everted lip. The bowl has a stem and measures fifteen centimetres in height. The mouth of the bowl is about twenty-two centimetres in diameter. A banana stem, about forty-five centimetres in height with its top about eight centimetres and its base about ten centimetres in diameter, is placed upright in the centre of the bowl. This is the core on which the whole elaborate structure of a sireh darah is built. The banana stem is supported by two chopsticks which are pushed through it in such a way that they cross each other at right angles in the middle of the stem. It is important that the chopsticks are pushed in at a height which enable their four ends to rest securely on the everted lip of the bowl. A strong red twine is tied to one end of a chopstick against the side of the bowl. It is then looped under the bowl and pulled tightly around the other end of the chopstick where it is made fast. The same procedure is adopted to secure the other chopstick. The red twines are wound repeatedly around the

103

chopsticks and the base of the bowl until it is certain that the banana stem can stand firm in its upright position. Betel leaves are rolled lengthwise very Tightly and tied mid-way with red thread. Each roll is made up of seven layers of betel leaves. The rolls are then arranged to stand upright with their narrower ends downwards all around the rim of the bowl. Care is taken to have the tops of the rolls of leaves at the same level with each other. The space between the banana stem and the betel leaf roils is packed with torn betel leaves up to about half the height of the rolls. These torn leaves support the rolls of leaves and keep them upright. Another ring of betel leaf rolls is placed against the inner side of the first ring. More betel leaf shreds are lightly packed in the space between the banana stem and the second ring of rolled leaves. A third circle of rolled leaves is arranged against the second circle and the space between the banana stem and the third circle is again packed tightly with betel leaf shreds. The whole three-tiered structure should now be strong enough to carry all the decorations to be put on it. Before the structure is decorated however, two things remain to be done. Firstly, the tops of all the three rings of betel leaf rolls are trimmed so that the top of each ring is level. Secondly, the remaining exposed end of the banana stem, about twelve centimetres of it, is covered with colourful patterned paper serrated at the lower edge. The basic structure of the siren darah now forms a rough pyramid standing on the stem bowl. Each ring of betel leaf rolls leans slightly outwards as a result of the packing of the torn betel leaves. A total of about six hundred betel leaves are required to build

104

this basic structure. The three-tiered structure is now decorated beginning with the lowest tier of rolled betel leaves. About twenty birds made from small green betel nuts are put on it. The bodies of the birds are brushed with paste and sprinkled with confetti and tinsel. These birds are stuck on sticks which are then pushed in to the lowest ring of betel leaves. The second tier is decorated all round with paper banners, pennants and triangular flags of many colours. The flags, pennants and banners are pasted to the ribs of coconut leaves. Narrow strips of crepe paper of various colours are wound round the coconut leaf ribs. These ribbons of paper are cut finely on both sides so that when they are wound around the ribs the toothed pattern stands our prettily. The top tier of sireh darah is covered with frangipani blooms which have purple flowers put in their centres. This leaves only two parts of the sireh darah to be decorated: the summit of the structure and the base. The base, which is the stem bowl, is covered by a bib of embroidered overlapping flaps which is a miniature of the cape worn by the bride. The summit is decorated with the all important kemunchak which the Sang Kheh Umm pulls out and the bride carries into the bridal chamber on the third day of the wedding. The phoenix which sits atop of the kemunchak is made of wood while its wings and tail are made of zinc. A spring is attached to the bottom of the bird which allows it to be fixed to a stick which is sharpened at both ends. The stick is then pushed through two wooden blocks such that they divide the stick into three equal parts. These blocks are tapered and have eight holes on their top

surface. All these parts are painted red. Sixteen pieces of decorations are prepared and are stuck into the holes on the wooden blocks. Each piece has a padded cloth triangle attached from its apex to one end of a thick curved wire where a pom-pom is tied. Eight of these triangles and pom-poms are made of red material while the remaining eight are pink. At each bottom corner of the triangular pads are glass beads strung through thin wires into two “lantern” shapes. The whole kemunchak is thus a glittering mobile of glass beads and coloured shapes.

105

106

Appendix 2

The Household Altar

Kuan Kong, the “God of War” is flanked by his blood brothers Chang Fei and Liu Pei. Venerated by the Babas these historical figures are celebrated in the Chinese classic The Romance of the Three Kingdoms. (Courtesy Katong Antique House)

The household altar consists of two tables of hard wood, one higher and longer than the other. The smaller table is square and pushed half-way under the higher table which has a semi-circular front. Elaborately carved panels cover the front and sides of the tables. These panels are usually cleaned by tying a piece of doth to one end of a chopstick, wetting it with oil and poking the chopstick through every tiny hole in the carving. On the higher table stands one or more images of the household god or gods. Sometimes there are several gods and goddesses on this table. They are placed in the middle of the table right against the wall. Some households do not have any idols but there hangs, in their place, a very big framed painting of the deities they worship. Favoured gods in Baba households are the “God of War’” and his two blood brothers. The favourite goddess is the “Goddess of Mercy”. A pair of vertical, black lacquered wooden panels which have Chinese verses in gold hang on the wall on either side of the deities. A big porcelain joss-stick holder is placed

107

in the middle of the high table in front of the deity and three small porcelain tea cups on an oval porcelain saucer together with one porcelain tea pot are placed beside it. A brass lamp stands to the right of the table. It has a tall thin stem with a holder on which is put a saucer containing oil and a wick. A three-panelled glass screen with red and gilt wooden frame is placed around the lamp stand to prevent the flame from being blown out. On this high altar is also put four porcelain bow-Is filled with uncooked rice, levelled off at the brim. Two bowls contain oranges and the two others contain round pieces of sugar cane. The oranges and sugar cane are arranged to form a pyramid and each piece of sugar cane and every orange is banded with narrow strips of red paper. An artificial flower is stuck on the summit of each arrangement. The bowls of sugar cane are placed at the outer ends of the row, with the oranges inside. The lower square table is usually pushed halfway under the higher table, but as was stated earlier, it was pulled out during special occasions to create extra space for more articles of worship. The extra articles used for a wedding are : 1. One chie” hup standing on its lacquered cover. Since the chie” hup is for the deities, five bamboo sticks with their decorations of red berries and flowers made from pickled papaya are fixed onto the holders. 2. Two long-necked porcelain vases with posies of flowers. A vase is put on each side of the chie” hup. 3. Many years ago, a tao teng was placed in front of the chie” hup. The tao teng is a square rice-measure made of wood. Its four sides are pasted with the Taoist

108

eight ingrains. The square box is filled with carefully picked rice to make sure that only clean whole grains are used. This rice is levelled off at the top of the box. The following items are placed on top of the rice: — A Chinese sword, which is a symbol of authority — an oil lamp with twelve wicks to represent twelve stars — a small embroidered umbrella as a symbol of Heaven’s protection — a diviner’s almanac. It is opened at the middle and the following articles are put in between the pages: a pair of small scales, a Chinese linear measure, a pair of scissors and old fashioned razor, a small mirror and a length of red silk thread. — five packets of sacred grain wrapped in red paper. These five varieties of grains which represent the five elements of gold, silver, fire, water and wood are red bean, soya bean, red unpolished rice, black bean and padi. 4. A brass Chinese candlestick is placed at each end of the table near the front. The candlesticks must be heavy enough to carry the weight of one pair of red candles weighing one kati (600 gms). 5. One cylindrical porcelain joss-stick holder. 6. Three types of fruits. The front of the lower table is covered with the tok wee. This piece of embroidered silk tapestry can cost anything from fifty dollars to hundreds of dollars. Most families have different grades of tok wee for different

A family altar all dressed up for a wedding. occasions. The most expensive ones, which have pictures and patterns embroidered in relief in gold thread, are used only for weddings, birthdays and Chinese New Year. They usually have a red background with embroidered dragons or five lions. These are carefully kept after use and handed down from generation to generation. The tok wee for the ancestral altar are less grand and the ones used during funerals arc in beautiful purple, blue and green. Of course no gold thread is used for funeral tok wee. Since wedding candles are very heavy, it is not possible to use the ordinary brass

candlesticks. Special wooden candle-stands of about one metre in height are used. These red lacquered stands are buttressed at the base by four carved supports in black lacquer trimmed in gold. The top is about fifteen centimetres wide and is a stylised carving of the lotus flower gilt in gold. Right in the centre of the lotus is a metal spike for fixing the candle. It is not easy to push the big candle onto the spike so that it remains firmly fixed. It needs a lot of patience and skill as the candle tends to break off in pieces at the base. Where the wedding ceremonies are held at two homes simultaneously, only

109

one pair of candles on wooden stands is used in each home. The stands are placed near the front corners of the lower altar table. The Dragon candles are lighted in the bride’s house and the Phoenix candles in the bridegroom’s. This may seem strange as one would expect Dragon candles to be in the bridegroom’s house and the Phoenix candles to be in the bride’s but the opposite is done as a gesture of goodwill between the families. If the wedding ceremonies are held in one house only, then two pairs of candles are used, the host’s candles taking the position of honour. Two high-backed chairs are placed in front of the candle-stands; one chair in front of each. These chairs are usually in red lacquer with a gold embossed design on the top half of the back-rest. When the bride sits on one of these chairs in her room, it is necessary to give her a footstool to rest her feet as the chair is often too high for a petite Nyonya. The two chairs in front of the altar however are for the parents and the elders when they receive the respects from the bride and bridegroom. A long piece of red cloth is tied to the chair so that it covers the back rest, the seat and the legs. The borders as well as the centre of the back rest and the seat are embroidered with blue and white silk or gold thread. The design around the border is that of waves while the corners, back rest and the seat is that of the bat, a symbol of happiness. More elaborate covers have a gold dragon embroidered on the back rest and five lions on the lower end of the cloth. A square flat, red silk cushion is placed on the seat of each chair. The household altar is usually in the front hail of the house and the ancestral altar is

110

erected in the second hall. Where there is no permanent ancestral altar, a temporary one is set up next to the household altar to the gods. The ancestral altar consists of the same type of tables as the household altar except that the higher table holds the spirit-house in which the tablets to the ancestors are placed. There is no oil lamp and its screen on the higher table. The rest of the articles are the same as for the household altar. The lower table has a chie” hup with three and not five bamboo sticks with their decorations. Two vases of flowers and two brass candlesticks are placed on the altar and the front is also covered by a tok wee. No big wooden candlesticks and no high backed chairs are needed for the ancestral altar. A great number of beliefs surround the ancestral altar and the care of the ancestral tablets but that is another story.

111

112