To Adam With Love

Copyright

Published by Dreamspinner Press 382 NE 191st Street #88329 Miami, FL 33179-3899, USA http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author‘s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. To Adam With Love Copyright © 2011 by Adrienne Wilder Cover Art by Reese Dante http://www.reesedante.com Script font by BoltCutterDesign All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 382 NE 191st Street #88329, Miami, FL 33179-3899, USA http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ ISBN: 978-1-61372-100-1 Printed in the United States of America First Edition August 2011 eBook edition available eBook ISBN: 978-1-61372-101-8

Dedication

Dedicated to whoever may need a silly little love story. Which, in truth, is all of us.

Glossary

For a complete Glossary go to http://www.theatlantadens.com. Become: The process of the Human body going from physical to metaphysical as they Shift and become Lesser-Bred. Belong: To be bonded to another through metaphysical means. Humans who belong are not immortal, but they live a very long time and cannot live without the Kin they are bonded to. Chela or Chelae: Claws. Chetra or Chetrah: Humans. Olde Tongue for sweet meat. Dens: Territory owned by the Queen. Dominant: A Male that has established dominance in the Dens. Dominants can be ―made‖ from birth or a Male can fight his way to the top. A ―true Dominant‖ is a Male who obtains the position because he is metaphysically potent, rather than by skill and brutality. Dominant/Dominance: social rank. One male may be dominant over another and may or may not be a Dominant. Feed: The act of taking Blood, Flesh, or Metaphysical energy. Food: Lower than a submissive. Sole purpose is to feed others. Usually do not survive the hatching grounds. Also a derogatory name to reference another Kin. Food Chain: Dominance scale. Food: Substance that is consumed. Food: When a Kin is a source of sustenance—a title. Gray Zone: The multi-block area surrounding the Dens. There are no real markers for the Gray Zone, but the area is very dilapidated and the city does not enforce codes, taxes, or provide police protection. Utilities and housing are almost always free in the Zone, as well as the basic needs such as clothing and some food.

Impress: The act of acquiring phenotypic, genetic, and metaphysical traits. Kept: Term most often used when referring to Lesser-Breds who are under the protection of a particular Male. Lesser-Breds cannot belong, but they can be kept and scent-marked, and feed a Male giving them value and protection. Most often done by ferals who use Lesser-Breds as a source of income by selling their flesh, blood, and sexual favors. Kin: A dragon. Proper title for the species. Lesser-Bred: Half-breed and human offspring or any generation thereafter. Lesser-Bred should be capitalized. Because LesserBreds can be safely used as Food, that means they have value. Side note: The farther away (genetically) a Lesser-Bred is from its half-breed sire, the more likely they are to go through physical mutations. The closer they are to their Half-Breed Sire, the more Human they can appear. This is the general rule, although not set in stone. Four to eight generations removed usually have the strongest blood for feeding and obtain some of the ethereal appearance of their Kin ancestors. Link: A Human metaphysically tied to a Kin. Humans who ―belong.‖ Male: A title. Refers to all Kin who hold the shape of a Human male. Males can be high or low on the food chain. Mark or Marked: The scar left by a Kin, Male or Female. Metaphysics: The energy emitted by all Kin and Lesser-Breds. It is also studied as a science. Need: The biological requirement that drives Kin to feed. Physical Form: Most often refers to a Human shape. Rage: Anger caused by a loss of control over instinct. Also a biological boiling point due to self-neglect or deprivation of meeting one‘s need. Rise: Biological surge, the wave of metaphysical power or physiological changes as the body reaches a peak. Also refers to approaching one‘s need. Rise is also a term used by Lesser-Breds who are at the peak of their Shift when they go from Human to inhuman. Roll: The act of a metaphysical Feed. This is usually only done by Females. Upon rare occasion, a Dominant can also do it. LesserBreds can perform this on Humans, which is why Lesser-Breds

are valuable as whores. Only the Female Roll is upper case. When a Male performs this act or a Lesser-Bred, it is roll (italics). Roll: Act of domination of one Kin over another, can result in sex, feeding or both. Scent: Act of drawing air over the palate to taste. Shift: To change from Human form to Kin (dragon). Or to go through the metaphysical transformation where Humans become LesserBred. Stain: The metaphysical burn mark left on a Lesser-Bred‘s body where their Kin-self attempts to rise to the physical world. This happens during the first phase of the Shift. The marks can be very small and well hidden, or they can be large enough to paint a significant amount of a Lesser-Bred‘s body. A stain can be physical, to the point the Lesser-Bred doesn‘t even look Human. Most common are under-the-skin color splotches and eye-color change. Submissive: Social rank within a group or pair. Also social rank being lower than another. A Male may be dominant over one Kin and submissive to another. Wall: Structure surrounding the Dens. Manmade.

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Chapter 1

“DID a Male do that?” The question made Adam look up from the dirt track he was carving under the old tree stump for his collection of Hot Wheels. He blinked, not quite believing what he was looking at. Perched on the end of the fallen log with his head cocked to the side, the strange boy looked like some sort of wild animal. He stared at Adam with fierce hazel eyes from under a mass of unruly sun-streaked bangs. And he was stripped bare, except for a bracelet on his left ankle and bits of copper on the ends of the braids in his hair. “What?” The boy pointed. “Your scars. Did a Male do that?” Adam shook his head as he put a hand on his stomach above the hem of his shorts. The puckered, angry flesh of his scars was still tender enough that it bothered him to wear a shirt. Curious, Adam asked the obvious. “Why don‟t you have on any clothes?” The boy shot him an indignant look and pounded a fist against his boney chest. “Because clothes are for Humans, and I‟m Kin.” Impressed, Adam grinned and stuck out his hand. “My name‟s Adam Schroder. What‟s yours?” The sandy-haired boy took his offering, flipped it over, and stroked his tongue across Adam‟s palm. “Ean… my name is Ean.”

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FROM the confines of the cab, Adam stared at the little shotgun house shaded by the immense oak trees crowding the yard. The house was a lot smaller than he remembered, a lot more beaten down. Thanks to the leaf cover, there wasn‘t much grass, but there was more than enough moss to make up the difference. And it grew on everything, from around gnarled roots jutting up from the ground to the spaces between the stone walkway. It even covered the roof on the house, like a wellworn winter coat. Sitting there, Adam realized coming home was going to be a lot harder than he‘d thought. But Adam knew he belonged here at the little house on the hill. The place where every happy memory he had was born. It just didn‘t seem fair that one tragedy had been powerful enough to rip it all away. In the front seat, the cabby cleared his throat. Adam caught his tired gaze in the rearview mirror and dug out a twenty. It was more than enough to cover the three-mile trip from the MARTA station to the Gray Zone. The man took it without a word, and Adam popped the door, grabbed his duffle bag from the seat beside him, and climbed out. Behind him, the tires did some pop and grind when they rolled over the busted-up street as the cab pulled away. No mailbox sat at the corner of the driveway; no numbers marked the side of the house. But that was normal. Most people who came to the Zone didn‘t want to be found. It was why Adam‘s mother brought him here all those years ago from Houston, Texas, when his father tried to erase him like a mistake. For almost ten years, she‘d managed to keep him hidden. Safe. Without really thinking about it, Adam ran a hand over his stomach. He couldn‘t feel the lines and ridges under his shirt. Time had smoothed out the worst of his scars, but what was left still looked like something caused by a wild animal and not a man with a box cutter. If nothing else, the scars were a constant reminder, not only of the reasons his mother had brought him here as a boy, but of why he was here again as a man. Here in the Zone, in this no-man‘s-land between the city of Atlanta and the surrounding territory of the Queen dragon—the Dens— he was reasonably safe. Mixed-bred offspring of dragons and

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Humans—Lesser-Breds—weren‘t desirable, but they had value in the eyes of Kin because they could be used as food. That is, if he could survive long enough. Adam wasn‘t Lesser-Bred yet, but he was close. The food cravings, the insatiable hunger, the almost constant hand-jobs—they were all warning signs of the biological changes happening inside him and that, at any time, he could become dangerous. Adam had known for a long time what he was going to become. At least he knew; at least he had the chance to put himself somewhere where he couldn‘t hurt anyone and where there would be Males to feed him and keep him warm. Adam walked across the yard and up the cobblestone footpath. The first step up to the porch squeaked, and the second one sagged, but like always, the old boards held. Smaller wooden moans followed Adam as he walked across the wide porch and stopped at the door. Tatters of plastic streamers still clung to the doorjamb. The words had long ago faded away, but there was still enough yellow in spots to make it impossible for Adam to pretend it had been anything else but police tape. He used his thumb to pick off a piece at eye level. Stalling. He was stalling. Three days ago when his father had been sentenced, Adam had been impatient to get here. The Center for Folk and Kin Relations had wanted to keep him in protective custody, but after years of hiding, Adam just wanted to go home. His boogeyman was finally going to be locked up in a closet he couldn‘t buy or threaten his way out of. Adam blamed his sudden hesitation on the same weakness that made him tremble in the dark and scarred him with nightmares smelling like blood and tasting like dirt. The key was still on the edge of the jamb after all these years, but Adam expected nothing less. After all, this was the Zone, and while most of society‘s laws were ignored, there was one that was strictly followed. Do not touch what isn‘t yours. He wound up not needing it since the door wasn‘t locked. Adam shouldered it twice before the swollen wood popped free.

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For a moment, Adam expected to see his mother walk out of the kitchen, tell him lunch was ready, remind him to wash his hands, and then ask if he wasn‘t cold running around in ragged blue jeans and nothing else. He could almost smell meatloaf, or maybe pork chops, and hear the sounds of the radio playing her favorite oldies station. And Adam waited. But only the vast emptiness across the small room was there to greet him. The porch eased out a sigh as he stepped over the threshold. The inside looked exactly like he remembered it. Only now, dust covered everything—the bookshelf, the old sofa, the old chair in the corner. Lost years of his life marked in particles of dirt left in layers. Adam dropped his duffle bag by the front door, and his gaze went to the doorway of the kitchen. His feet moved, and the carcasses of dead insects crunched with every step. The off-square space, with its sixties-style fridge and deep porcelain sinks, was the biggest room in the house. That was probably why his mother and he had spent so much time here. That is, when Adam was at home and not running the streets with Ean. It was going to take a lot to get the place cleaned up—a little money, more elbow grease, and lots of time. But it would give him something to do while he waited for his Humanness to disappear. Adam had to admit, seeing the place neglected like this made him sad. While the house wasn‘t much, his mother had worked hard to make it theirs, and she would have wanted him to keep the place up. Adam gave the rest of the kitchen a once-over. There was a pot on the stove, dishes in the sink, dishes on the table. It was as if all the inanimate objects had been used as some sort of place marker in the pages of his life. A book he‘d put down and forgotten to pick back up. If only he could forget. Looking around, Adam couldn‘t shake the feeling that the little house had been waiting for him to come back. To come home. Adam walked around the small beat-up kitchen table to the back door. The strawberry print curtains covering the window were the same ones which had been there before his world had ended, only now they were yellow with age and covered with cobwebs. Adam pushed one of

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the panels aside and looked out the glass. The yard was pretty much the same as he remembered, except for the kudzu that had taken over the hill and most of the back wall. Once upon a time there had been only a footpath leading down to the park, the basketball court, and then the streets and alleys leading to the old burned-out apartment building where Ean had lived. Ean. Thinking about Ean still made Adam smile. Which wasn‘t a surprise. Not really. Did he belong to Batu now? The Males who Ean lived with had always kept him safe, and the big Dominant had always said he would one day make Ean his Link, because Kin kept what they valued and owned Humans they found worthy. In spite of his once-best friend‘s claims of being Kin, it didn‘t take Adam long to figure out he wasn‘t. After all, dragons were never children. They were simply made. Metaphysical beings created by their Queen. Impossibly perfect, impossibly inhuman. Adam could only hope that Ean would still visit. That, just like when they were kids, he‘d know when Adam was around. And if he didn‘t show up, Adam decided he‘d convince himself it was because Ean belonged to the Male who had kept him safe as a boy. His heart would break all over again if he thought of the alternative, but then the Zone was a dangerous place even on the best of days. It was tempting to head out into the streets and look for him, but as close as Adam was to his change, he was nothing but prey. Staying here and waiting to see if Ean would find him was the smart thing to do; that still didn‘t change the fact that it made him feel like a coward. Adam thought about that and decided he was a coward. The fear of losing who he was, becoming inhuman, terrified him. As a boy, the genetic changes that he was destined to undergo hadn‘t frightened him nearly as much. But that was years ago, when a hazel-eyed boy had held Adam‘s hand and led him through the feral-infested alleyways, showed him the best places to fish in the creek below the green space, and told him the secrets he‘d learned when climbing through the air ducts to watch the Males.

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Chapter 2

“MOMMY, Mommy, Mommy, I made a friend.” Adam flew through the front door and tore across the living room and into the kitchen, where his mother stood at the counter making his lunch. She didn‟t look at him; she was too busy smearing mayonnaise on the slice of bread in her hand. “Did you now?” “Yes!” He danced around the floor at her feet, stopping only long enough to peer over the counter at what she was fixing for him to eat. Bologna, he loved bologna. Would Ean like it? Adam was willing to bet he would. “And where did you meet this friend? The intergalactic space station or Treasure Island?” She had that tone in her voice, the one which suggested she was on the verge of laughing. It was nice. Adam liked to see her happy, to see her smile. She‟d spent way too long being sad. Especially at the hospital when they‟d patched up the boo-boo on his stomach. “I sure hope your new friend is an alien, ‟cause you know how I feel about pirates. Especially when they steal my spoons and bury them in the backyard. He‟s not going to steal my spoons, is he?” “No.” Adam was pretty sure Ean wouldn‟t steal her spoons. He watched as she finished assembling the sandwich and put it on a plate. “Can I have two?” He even held up his fingers to show he knew exactly how many “two” were. His mother‟s eyebrows went up, and her mouth curled. “Two sandwiches? You must be really hungry.”

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Adam shook his head. “No, I need one for my friend. He‟s hungry too.” “Is he now?” “Yes!” Her smile stretched a little wider. “How about this? You sit down at the table and eat this one sandwich. Then if you‟re still hungry, I‟ll fix you another.” “But he‟s hungry now.” “I‟m sure he is.” His mother put the sandwich on a plate and turned… and stopped. Adam stepped over to the table and pulled out a chair and sat down. His mother didn‟t move. “Adam?” “Yeah?” He put his elbows on the table, then remembered to take them off. “Where are your clothes?” Adam looked down. Yeah, he‟d forgotten about that. There was a big muddy handprint on his chest and two more on his back. Ean had put them there and called them marks. He‟d wanted to bite Adam, but Adam told him his mom would be mad, so he used mud instead. “I took them off.” His mom put the plate on the table, and he snatched up the sandwich. “Why?” “Because Ean doesn‟t wear clothes.” “Ean?” “That‟s my friend‟s name.” “He doesn‟t wear clothes?” Adam took a bite of the sandwich and shook his head. “And why not?” It took him a minute to chew and swallow. “Because he‟s Kin, and they don‟t wear clothes.” The smile on his mother‟s face faltered, and her complexion went white. Adam kept eating his sandwich. “H-honey, w-where is your friend?” It was the way she said it that made Adam look up.

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He pointed to the door. “On the porch. He wouldn‟t come inside. He said he wasn‟t allowed to go where Ch-che…”—Adam screwed up his face and tried to remember the word—“Chetrah lived.” When he looked at his mother again, she‟d picked up the broom and moved toward the front of the house. “Mommy?” “Stay there.” Of course, he didn‟t. Adam ran up behind her as she stepped onto the porch, brandishing the broom like it was some sort of weapon and she was a knight wearing armor, not a mother wearing an apron. She stopped just beyond the threshold, and Adam went on ahead of her. Ean crouched at the edge of the steps, a Hot Wheels fisted in each hand. His hazel gaze locked on Adam‟s mother. “This is Ean.” Adam walked up to Ean and tugged on his arm. “Ean, this is my momma.” Ean growled. “Stop that. She‟s going to make you a sandwich.” When Adam looked back at his mother, she had the strangest expression on her face. He had no idea what it meant, but it made him feel sad. “Momma?” She blinked and lowered the broom. Adam noticed that her hand shook as she smoothed out the wrinkles in her apron. “From now on, if Ean wants to come over and play, he has to wear clothes.” “But—” “No buts. And you, Adam Schroeder, should know better.” She waved a hand at him. “Go find your shorts, and put them on.” His mother walked away, and the screen door slammed shut behind her.

LYING on his back, Adam stared at the cracked and peeling stucco ceiling, trying to figure out why the hell it was raining inside. He remembered the cab drive from the MARTA station, his initial walk through the house—living room, kitchen, back porch. So then what had happened?

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Oh, yeah. He‘d found a broom. Although it wasn‘t worth much, it still had enough bristles to get the job done. Then he‘d set to using the sorry P.O.S., sweeping up leaves, paper, mouse droppings, and just about anything else he could push out the front door. After that, he went into his mother‘s room, intent on cleaning it out, but lost his nerve a few feet over the threshold while staring at the moth-eaten quilt still turned down on her bed. Yeah, apparently he was less ready for that than he‘d thought. At least he‘d managed to get his own room cleaned up, the sheets stripped off the bed, his old clothes tossed into a Hefty bag. He saved a few shirts that would still fit, but they needed to be washed first because they smelled like mice and mold. Then? Hardware store. At the hardware store, Adam bought a paintbrush and paint for the rest of the house and something with color for the bathroom. Apparently he‘d decided to paint in here today. Which might explain why the wall—now that he was looking at it—was some pale shade of sea foam green a hospital wouldn‘t envy. He remembered that the gallon had been on sale. The label read sky blue. He guessed that explained why it was only five bucks. Adam had finished the living room yesterday, and the kitchen the day before that. Now, all the rooms were some hue of not-quite-tannot-quite-white. It hid the flaws in the Sheetrock and simultaneously concealed years‘ worth of lived–in and then abandoned grime. In spite of the fact he‘d ruined one of only three pairs of blue jeans he currently had to his name, Adam had been impressed. That still didn‘t answer the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question of why the hell it was raining indoors. Adam raised his right hand, which still held the paintbrush. His clothes were soaked, and the floor was soaked. He started to sit up and…. Oh, no, seriously bad idea. The monkey in his head went to work hard and fast on the drum it was beating the hell out of. For a minute there, he was sure his dinner was going to make a guest appearance. Adam lay back down on the

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floor and waited for everything to quit spinning. Maybe, with any luck, the water wouldn‘t rise any higher, and he wouldn‘t drown. ‘Cause that would suck. Staring at the wall, Adam noticed how the line of green paint ended a little way above the sink, above the mirror, close to the molding which was yellow and cracking. Seemed like everything in this place was either flaking off or cracking up. Including his skull. Adam touched his temple because it felt unusually warm. His hand came away red, and it wasn‘t paint. Yeah, that couldn‘t possibly be good. He probably had his inhuman genes to thank for not being worse off. He started to put two and two together. Ugly green paint partway up the wall, rain in the bathroom, him on his back in the flooded floor with one hell of a goose egg popping up on the side of his head. He glanced at the tub and spotted a streak of crimson on the wide edge, as if someone had hit it with a correction pen. So he‘d misstepped? This time when Adam pushed himself up on his elbow, the nausea fairy did not reintroduce herself. Adam blinked, waiting for his vision to clear. When it did, he noticed that the sink on the wall in front of him hung at an odd angle. Obviously, he was either a lot heavier than he‘d originally assumed or the wall had been a lot weaker than it looked. Now he knew where the water was coming from. One of the thin copper pipes leading up to the sink had bent and cracked. At least it was warm instead of cold. Although that might not have been such a good thing because the water heater was old, and the fuse box was one of those old-fashioned kind that did not appreciate being overtaxed. And right after that thought popped into his head, the overhead lights went out. ―Fuck.‖ With no time to waste, Adam hit the cut-off valves under the sink and pulled himself off the floor. His clothes were soaked, and spring or not, the inside of the house was damp and cold. As he walked into the kitchen, it occurred to him that sticking his hand in the fuse box while soaking wet probably wasn‘t a good idea. ‘Cause if he thought the

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landing on the floor had been bad, a couple thousand volts of light-upyour-life would really make him grease his shorts. He opened the door and peered inside. The large glass fuse on the top right-hand corner was frosted up like a spent bulb from an oldfashioned Polaroid camera. As a kid, this old fuse box had always given his mother fits, and she used to keep spare fuses in the drawer by the cabinet. He checked and found some dust, a dead moth, and an old, yellowed piece of paper made blank by time. He shut it and checked the one next to it, which only had spoons and knives; the third one had potholders and a couple of candles. Adam could use the candles for light, but they wouldn‘t last long, a few hours at the most, and then he‘d be left in the dark. Cold fear kissed the back of his neck. Alone in the dark was not where he wanted to be. Needed to be. It didn‘t seem right that a childhood fear could come back to haunt him this way. Made meaner, bigger, and worse than it had ever been. But Adam couldn‘t deny the fact it seemed everything bad happened in the dark. Adam ran a hand through his mop of black hair. As easy as it was to get caught up in all that bullshit, he didn‘t have time. Going by the light outside the window, there might be an hour, maybe less—yeah, more likely less—of sunlight. If he didn‘t hurry, as in leave right now, not only would he have to deal with the dark of the house, he‘d be walking home in it. Adam grabbed his wallet off the kitchen table, stuffed his feet into his blown-out sneakers by the front door, and shot down the steps, racing against the sunset to the bus stop.

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Chapter 3

“I

CAN‟T believe you did that.” Adam sat down on the wall next to Ean. He opened his lunch box and offered the other boy half of his sandwich. “What?” “You carved your name on the porch.” Ean picked out the half he wanted and held it up, pulled it apart, put it to his nose, and sniffed. “Did I get my letters right?” Adam shook his head. “The E is backward.” “Then I should try again tomorrow.” “Only on paper, okay?” Ean shrugged but nodded. Adam watched the back door. His mother peered at them from behind the curtain. She was mad, and probably was going to be for a long time. Not only had Ean carved his name in the porch, but when she‟d yelled at him, he‟d actually growled at her. When Adam looked back at Ean, he was rubbing the bread against his cheek. He did that a lot when Adam gave him things. Like the pair of jeans his mother had bought Ean when she‟d found out he didn‟t own any clothes. Ean claimed he rubbed his scent on his belongings because that‟s what Kin did so the world would know what was theirs. So why was Ean always rubbing his cheek against the side of Adam‟s head? The only reason Adam didn‟t ask was because he was sort of afraid to know the answer. Adam bumped Ean with his foot. “You should tell her you didn‟t mean to.” Ean cut him a look.

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“You growled at her, Ean.” “So?” “Just apologize. Tell her you didn‟t mean to do it. Tell her you‟re sorry.” Ean shook his head. “But I‟m not sorry. And if she hits me with the broom again, I‟ll bite her!” He crammed the entire sandwich half into his mouth. Adam copied him, and they smiled at each other around peanut butter and jelly.

THERE was no way Adam was going to make it out of the hardware store before dark. Hell, in the Zone, beyond the Fringe, dark was already fifteen minutes past. The couple in line in front of him was redoing their kitchen, and apparently it qualified as some sort of global event. They were currently holding up the register with their assortment of complementary color swatches while fussing and fondling the brass doorknobs they‘d picked out. Oblivious to the fact that Adam was about two minutes from ripping off his skin, they made stupid comments about how sunshine yellow would bring out the nostalgia of the old home they were renovating. For about the hundredth time, Adam tossed a look up at the window. The pale silver of afternoon light was heading to that final shade of lavender. To make matters worse, he was starting to get hungry. And that was so not a complication he needed right now. Of course, it could have been worse. ―Adam Schroeder?‖ Adam turned without really meaning to and found himself staring head-on at a Georgia Tech logo stretched across a wide chest. Then he looked up. ―Holy shit, it is you.‖ Chocolate-brown eyes, caramel-colored skin, and a smile bright enough to power half the city. Brian… Stanson. Damn, he was a lot taller than Adam remembered. A lot wider too. It made Adam painfully aware of that growth spurt he‘d been waiting on since he was sixteen that was never going to happen. Thank God nature had been kind enough to give him some muscle.

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Adam opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was promptly froze up in his frontal lobe when Brian‘s hand lit on his arm. He‘d forgotten about that—how whenever the guy touched him, he felt like butterflies had taken up residence under his skin. ―Jesus, it‘s been, what, five years?‖ Four. Six months and twenty-three days. Not that Adam was counting. He‘d just happened to notice the date on the old calendar he took off the kitchen wall before painting it. The couple in front of him finally got out of the way, and Adam held up the fuses in his hand. ―I need to pay for this.‖ Brian stepped back, and Adam turned his attention to the old man working the circa-1920s register. While the guy punched in the price, Adam counted out his change. When he finished with the cashier, Brian was still there, dark eyes dancing, smile as bright as ever. ―Something wrong?‖ Adam shook his head. ―I‘m just trying to get out of here before the next bus runs.‖ Brian followed him to the door and held it open for him. ―You‘re going to have to wait a while, then.‖ Adam stepped out. ―Why‘s that?‖ Brian pointed, and Adam looked. The red taillights of the fleeing MARTA bus twinkled as they disappeared around the corner. Adam took a handful of halfhearted steps in the direction of the retreating vehicle, but it was long gone, leaving a black cloud of diesel in its wake before he could even go a couple of yards. Shit! Now he‘d have to wait an hour until the next one. By then, the night would be thick enough to eat with a spoon. Adam stuffed the plastic bag with the fuses in his pocket so he could tuck his hands under his pits. He was cold all of a sudden, and everyone out here wore light cotton shirts and shorts. Brian said something that Adam missed. ―Huh?‖ He looked up. ―Sorry… I was thinking.‖ ―About me, I hope.‖ Yeah, it looked like Brian‘s cockiness had shot up along with his height.

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―So?‖ Brian nudged him. ―So what?‖ ―Were you thinking about me or not?‖ ―Actually,‖—Adam glanced back in the direction of the bus stop—―I was wondering what I was going to do for the next hour until the next bus runs.‖ Maybe he could wait inside the coffee shop next door. Although the bus might pull another drive-by if he wasn‘t waiting there waving his arms at it. Brian chuckled. ―You‘ve got a lot longer than an hour. The next bus doesn‘t run until morning.‖ That brought Adam‘s eyes back around, and now Brian really laughed. ―You should see the look on your face right now.‖ Yeah, well, Adam didn‘t have to see it; he could feel it. ―Morning? MARTA used to run the Zone till ten o‘clock.‖ ―Not anymore. Nowadays they close up shop at eight sharp. The city decided about two years ago it no longer wanted to‖—Brian brought his hands up and gave some air quotes—―‗facilitate the deviant behavior of Atlanta‘s youth‘. So unless you plan on camping out on the corner, I guess you‘ll have to let me give you a ride home.‖ Brian dug his keys out of his front pocket and spun them around on his middle finger. They connected to the center of his palm with a loud chunk. ―I can‘t.‖ Shouldn‟t. Brian‘s hand slipped around Adam‘s elbow, and he found himself staring at the contrast between their skin, his alabaster glow and Brian‘s caramel hue. God, Brian was warm, and being touched was so nice. Adam knew it was his Kin side; it craved contact like his stomach craved chocolate. ―Sure you can, Adam. It‘ll give us time to catch up.‖ Yeah, and on top of that, what choice did he have? Adam stared into the shadows. Here along the sidewalk near the storefronts, the lights were bright and the place was almost disgustingly happy. But out there, there was nothing but cold blackness. He wondered for about five seconds whether or not he could walk the distance from here to the little house on the hill. If he cut up the alley across the road and used the path through the green space, it was only a few blocks away. A shiver danced across Adam‘s shoulders.

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Yeah, something told him he‘d make it all of half a block before he passed out. Without looking at Brian, Adam asked, ―Won‘t I be keeping you from wherever you were going?‖ Fabric rustled, like maybe Brian had shrugged. ―It‘s nowhere important. I was just gonna grab a bite to eat with some buddies on the team. I can meet up with them some other time.‖ ―Are you sure you don‘t mind?‖ Brian‘s fingers slid from Adam‘s elbow to his hand. Adam‘s gaze snapped back, and suddenly he couldn‘t look away. ―Of course not.‖ Brian gave the connection a tug and headed up the sidewalk, still holding Adam‘s hand. ―So are you back here to go to school or what?‖ ―School?‖ Adam let Brian lead him toward a row of cars marking the parking spaces in front of the coffee shop, the hardware store, and a café. ―You know, college? A degree? A job? You used to be good at math and science, from what I remember.‖ Yeah, right, college. ‘Cause most guys his age worried about what they were going to do with their lives, not about lost best friends and turning into a monster. But the last time Adam had checked, they didn‘t allow the inhuman to do things like earn a college degree. Very few could even get a job, especially if they were Stained on the face. At least the standing-up-walking-around kind of job. Brian‘s smile dropped a little. ―Is that a no?‖ Adam shook his head. ―I really can‘t afford it, you know. I‘ve saved up some, but not enough to….‖ He shrugged. ―College really isn‘t my thing anyhow. It obviously fits you pretty good. I take it you got that scholarship you wanted?‖ When Brian arched an eyebrow, Adam nodded at his shirt. Brian glanced down, plucked at the fabric, and laughed. ―Nope, no basketball scholarship. I‘m going to Georgia Tech the good old-fashioned way.‖ It was Adam‘s turn to look confused, and Brian added, ―My old man‘s money.‖ They both grinned.

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Brian hit the button on the keyless entry, and a white Toyota at the end of the line gave a wink and thump. ―So what brought you back?‖ Adam pretended he hadn‘t heard the question as he stepped off the curb and went around to the passenger side of the car. Only then did Brian let go of his hand. By the time he got in and had the seatbelt on, Brian was on the other side, climbing in and cranking up the car. ―Where to?‖ Adam pointed, and Brian‘s eyes widened a little. ―Problem?‖ ―No… no, of course not. It‘s just….‖ The Zone. That‘s what his eyes said. Brian put the car in gear and backed out. At the street, Brian took a right. ―So, are you ever going to tell me?‖ ―Tell you what?‖ ―Jeez, Adam. About what happened? One day you were here, the next you weren‘t. Did you move away, go to jail…?‖ Brian started to laugh, but it died a quick death when he looked at Adam. He stared for a moment. ―Adam?‖ Adam really didn‘t want to talk about it, not now, not ever. But Brian had been a friend. Well, sort of a friend. And even though Adam hadn‘t really thought about him in all these years, obviously Brian had thought about him. On the back of a sigh, he said, ―My dad found us.‖ Brian sucked in his breath. ―God, Adam. I‘m… sorry, I didn‘t know.‖ ―It‘s all right.‖ It wasn‘t, not really, but it wasn‘t like he could change it. ―Are you okay? I mean….‖ Adam knew exactly what he meant. Brian knew about his scars and how he‘d gotten them. Adam had just never told him the reasons behind the old man‘s actions. But then, hate and prejudice against the wyrms could drive people to do terrible acts. Even try and eviscerate their children. Adam shrugged. ―Some days I‘m okay, others… not so much.‖ ―And your mom?‖

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Adam shifted in his seat and gazed out the window. The Fringe was packed tonight, but then again, it was Friday. Anyone and everyone looking for cheap goods came from all around to shop at the stores just beyond the Gray Zone. And it wasn‘t just about how much they could save on a week‘s worth of groceries. Here, the city laws were never enforced, so the booze, drugs, and discounted sex pulled in patrons by the tour busload. Literally. And since no one cared, a lot of things happened here—immoral, socially unacceptable things. ―Adam?‖ ―He killed her.‖ The leather cover on the steering wheel creaked. Brian still hadn‘t said anything when he pulled the Toyota up to the desolate four-way stop. It was darker here. The last of the streetlamps were now almost a block behind them. The sudden change from populated to dark and deserted worked better than any kind of warning sign. This was the edge of the Fringe where the Gray Zone started, where the night became home to the inhuman. A few more blocks down was the Wall surrounding the Dens. For some reason Adam noticed that the stop sign listed to the right. At least it was still readable. The street signs weren‘t so lucky; they were nothing but strips of faded green metal. Adam said, ―You can make a left here.‖ When the car didn‘t move, Adam looked at Brian. There wasn‘t enough glow from the dash to see his expression, but Adam could feel it, his pity, his sadness. Brian said, ―I didn‘t know.‖ ―No one did.‖ Another long moment passed, and Brian made the turn. He drove slower now, but then the road was rougher here, going from just beat up to beat to hell. Out in front, the high beams of the Toyota split the night and highlighted the crumbling remnants of a burned-out warehouse. The jagged shards of glass remaining in the large windows made Adam think of gaping mouths with sharp teeth. As they got closer to the

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residential streets, the concrete peeled back to be replaced by old trees and thick, untamed brush crawling out over the sidewalks and into the blacktop. Nope, nothing like a combination of Nightmare on Elm Street and the Congo to keep out the tourists. From the darkness, Brian said, ―I‘m so sorry, Adam.‖ ―Why?‖ Adam saw the faint line of Brian‘s shoulders rise and fall. ―Because someone should be. I don‘t know. God, I….‖ He sighed. ―What?‖ ―I feel really stupid now.‖ ―For what?‖ ―All this time, all these years, I thought you left because of me.‖ Adam thought for a minute. ―Why would you think that?‖ ―Because of the things I said that day, the things… Yeah, I was stupid. Young and stupid, and I‘ve relived that day a million times over, wishing I could redo it. I‘m sorry because I thought it was my fault. It never occurred to me something really bad might have happened.‖ It was Adam‘s turn to be quiet. He knew exactly what day Brian was talking about. The day in the park, the day Adam had learned the hard way how he didn‘t belong with normal people who lived outside the Zone. That what he was or what he was going to be was something to be feared. And more often than not, hated. Adam said, ―Why would you care?‖ ―Huh?‖ ―If it was your fault, why would you care? You hardly knew me, Brian. I hardly knew you. Besides, we were just kids.‖ Brian stopped at the next intersection. Here the stop sign was propped up against its busted post. Sometimes Adam wondered why they even bothered with traffic signs. Very few cars were on the street, and only a handful of those actually ran. But he also knew the Zone hadn‘t always been like this. No, before the laws had changed, before the inhuman were allowed outside the Wall the city officials had

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constructed to keep Humans and dragons separate, this area had looked a lot like the rest of Atlanta. Now it was just a nasty concrete scar most people tried to forget. Busted streetlamps, leaking fire hydrants, and the humpty-dumpty roads proved they were doing a pretty good job. Beside him, Brian asked, ―Now which way?‖ Adam pointed. ―Straight. Go about a half-mile, it‘s the second driveway on the right.‖ The car moved forward, and Brian sighed. ―You really don‘t have a clue, do you, Adam?‖ ―About what?‖ ―How much I cared about you.‖ Adam felt his cheeks warm. Yeah, and he‘d cared about Brian. ―I had it bad for you. Jesus, I still have it bad. I meant everything I said about how I felt that day in the park.‖ There was silence, then he said, ―I looked for you, you know?‖ Adam turned. ―Seriously?‖ ―Yeah, seriously. And since I didn‘t have a clue where you lived, I went to that stupid convenience store where we met once a day for a year. I‘ve even done searches for you on the Internet. I‘ve looked for your name and address.‖ And obviously he hadn‘t found him. But if he had, the Bureau wouldn‘t have been doing its job. But Brian had looked for him. Something in Adam‘s chest squeezed tight. Had Ean looked for him? He knew where Adam lived, and yet there‘d been no sign of him at the house. Four and a half years was a long time. If Ean had come back while Adam had been gone, he‘d probably given up. Then again, this was Ean, and giving up just wasn‘t something he did very often. Maybe Ean hadn‘t looked for him. Adam didn‘t want to believe that. But there was the very real chance that Ean couldn‟t look for him. He was ashamed to find the idea of Ean not caring hurt worse than the idea of Ean being dead. Brian chuckled. ―I guess it was probably a good thing I didn‘t know where you lived.‖ ―Why do you say that?‖

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―Are you kidding? I would have been hanging out on your front step waiting for you to show up. Hell, I would have come looking for you that afternoon, you know… after.‖ After the argument. Brian sighed. ―Pathetic… I know.‖ ―I don‘t think it‘s pathetic.‖ Brian went quiet, and Adam stared at his hands in his lap. They were just pale gray outlines in the darkness. He popped his knuckles and twisted up his fingers. The plastic bag with the fuses crinkled in his pocket. ―What about now?‖ Adam didn‘t really mean to say it out loud, but there it was. And he wanted to know. The isolation, the loneliness, the need to find some part of his past and get back what he‘d lost, hurt him. Every breath of every day. ―You really want me to tell you?‖ ―Yeah.‖ He nodded even though he knew Brian couldn‘t see it. ―Adam, when I saw you through the store window, I‘m pretty sure my heart stopped and the world stood still. How‘s that for an answer?‖ Adam caught his breath. Jesus, he felt like he was fifteen again. And just like when he was fifteen, he didn‘t have a clue what to say. Overhead, the canopy of dense trees closed in, turning the city block into an untamed, forgotten forest dotted with broken-down houses. If at all possible, the night felt thicker here, more claustrophobic. Brian asked, ―Second drive on the right?‖ ―Yeah.‖ They passed the first driveway, which led up between two trees to a duplex. Adam‘s driveway was another two hundred feet in and buffered by blooming azalea bushes, the pink and white blooms pale and ghostly in the glow of the headlights. Brian pulled the Toyota to a stop by the curb, like maybe he was unsure this was the place, and leaned forward in his seat. ―It‘s dark.‖ ―Yeah, a fuse blew.‖

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―You want me to shine the headlights up there so you can see? I can pull in.‖ Actually…. ―Are you sure you don‘t mind?‖ ―Nah, it‘s no problem at all.‖ Brian pulled into the driveway, and Adam winced when the azalea bush scraped against the side of the car. Either Brian didn‘t care or didn‘t notice. In a glowing tidal wave, the headlights washed up the footpath, swept over the front porch, and blasted their way through the large windows and paned glass of the front door as the car eased to the end of the drive. The contrast of light against dark highlighted the peeling paint and turned the thick carpet of moss spreading out on the roof black. Jesus, in the dark the place looked ready to fall in. Apparently Brian was thinking the same thing because he said, ―You live here?‖ ―It‘s not as bad as it looks.‖ Thank God. Otherwise no amount of paint or cleaning would make the place livable again. Adam got out and took the steps two at a time. Behind him the driver‘s side door opened and shut. A moment later the first step on the porch squeaked. Adam didn‘t look. He was too busy trying to get his key out of his pocket. He wound up dropping the bag of fuses because his hands wouldn‘t hold still. Brian picked it up. ―You‘re shaking.‖ Like a leaf in the wind. Adam clenched his fists and willed his body to quit trembling. It didn‘t work. Maybe it was the heavy smell of earth and greenery on the night air. Or maybe it was the dark all by itself. He‘d been dealing with these moments of panic for years, when that night came back to him, triggered by a thought, something he smelled, or a tactile sensation. A hand touched Adam‘s arm, and his eyes popped open. ―Adam….‖ Brian pried the key loose from his fingers. ―Here, let me.‖ After he turned the key in the lock, the door still wouldn‘t open. ―It sticks….‖ The shiver running through Adam butchered up the rest of his words. Brian shouldered the door twice, and it popped free with a loud rattle. Adam stared at the blackness beyond. The carved squares of light dividing it up somehow made the space of the living

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room even darker. No matter how safe Adam knew he was here, he didn‘t know if he could go in. Not now, not when it was this bad. If only Ean were there.

“THERE‟S nothing to be afraid of. I‟m with you.” Ean took Adam‟s hand and pulled him toward the window. “But it‟s dark.” “The dark won‟t hurt you.” “But there are Kin out there. Ferals. They‟ll eat me.” Ean rolled his eyes. “No, they won‟t. They‟re too afraid of Batu to eat you. He‟s bigger and meaner than all of them.” No doubt the Male was pretty big and pretty scary, but Batu was at Ean‟s apartment. “But he‟s not here to stop them.” “Don‟t worry. I wear his scent.” Ean tapped the side of his head and grinned. “They won‟t bother us because I smell like him.” Adam shook his head. “You might smell like Batu, but I don‟t.” Ean growled. It didn‟t sound the same as when the Males did it, but Adam‟s eyes peeled wide anyway. The other boy stepped closer. His hazel gaze was narrow and fierce. At first Adam thought Ean was actually going to bite him. Adam clenched his eyes shut when Ean‟s hand closed around the back of his neck. Ean pulled him forward, but instead of teeth, Adam felt him rub his cheek against one side of Adam‟s head, then the other side, and finally his chin across the top. “There.” Adam cracked an eyelid and stared at Ean, who rocked back on his heels, looking proud. “What did you do?” Ean said, “I marked you. Now you smell like me and Batu. The ferals won‟t dare bother you now. ‟Cause they‟ll know you‟re mine, and if they do, I‟ll eat them.” “Are you sure?” Ean blinked, and his face went all serious. Even at the age of ten, Adam knew only grownups were supposed to look like that. And while he didn‟t know Ean‟s age exactly, he knew the boy wasn‟t much older. So Ean looking serious was almost as scary as the thought of ferals.

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“Of course I‟m sure, Adam. I told you, I‟ll take care of you. Nothing will ever hurt you. I won‟t let it. Ever.”

―ADAM?‖ Brian‘s hand came up, and his thumb stroked Adam‘s cheek. ―What‘s wrong?‖ Nothing, everything. Adam shook his head. He didn‘t trust himself to talk. ―Is it me?‖ The question made Adam blink. ―What?‖ ―Are you scared of me?‖ ―No… no….‖ Being scared of Brian wouldn‘t have been so embarrassing. ―It‘s the dark.‖ Adam‘s teeth sounded off with a chatter, almost catching his tongue. ―The dark?‖ Adam nodded. ―Ever since that night when my mom… it comes and goes. It‘s bad… tonight it‘s really bad.‖ For a minute, Brian just stared. Then he asked, ―Where‘s the fuse box?‖ Adam pointed, even though actually seeing anything beyond the blackness was impossible. ―Next to the back door, through the kitchen, on the wall.‖ Brian stepped beyond the glow of the headlights and into the darkness. There was a click, and a small beam of light appeared in front of his hand. Yeah, Brian having a penlight didn‘t surprise Adam at all. Adam kept his eyes on the thread of light as Brian navigated around the sparse furniture, into the kitchen, and then around the beatup kitchen table. The fuse box door squeaked, and there was the rattle and slide of metal and glass twisting in place. A few seconds later, the bump and grind of the old fridge followed up the lights. Adam walked the rest of the way inside just in time to see Brian crumple up the plastic bag and toss it into the trash can near the fridge. He‘d left the extra fuses on the table. ―There, all fixed.‖ ―Thanks.‖

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The smile on Brian‘s face turned into a grin. He waved a hand at the pile of paint cans near the back door. ―So what happened? Did you get into a fight with the paint and lose?‖ Surely it couldn‘t be that bad. Adam looked down at himself. Nope, it was worse. He not only had paint on his jeans but all over his arms as well. The tight feeling on his cheek suggested he even had it on his face. Needless to say, the whole Orphan Annie look was a serious blow to a guy‘s ego. Brian laughed. ―Nice to see some things never change.‖ ―Huh?‖ Brian swept a hand up Adam‘s shoulder and trailed his fingers across his cheek. ―You still blush like a stop sign.‖ ―Oh….‖ And here he‘d been wondering why it was a hundred degrees inside the house. ―I like it.‖ The look Brian gave Adam made his cheeks even hotter. Closer now, Adam could smell Brian‘s expensive cologne; it matched his Abercrombie and Fitch new-old jeans, and his gleaming white Nikes. This time when Brian touched him, his fingertips brushed the goose egg on the side of Adam‘s head. Adam winced. ―What happened?‖ Adam reached up to feel the knot on the north side of his temple. His hair covered the worst of it. ―I fell.‖ He waved a hand at the fuse box. ―That‘s how this all got started. I was painting the bathroom, the sink broke, I fell because the sink broke, and then the fuse blew because the hot water was spraying everywhere and….‖ He stopped because Brian was looking at him funny. Not funny ha-ha, but the way he did when….

“HEY, Schroeder.” “Yeah?” “You ever kiss a guy?”

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ADAM coughed and took a step back. ―Yeah, uh, thanks for everything.‖ Brian made some space between them and took a few steps across the room. ―I‘d like to help. If you‘d let me, that is, with the painting and anything else.‖ ―No. I‘ve got it, really. The worst of it‘s done.‖ Brian glanced at the puddle of water creeping out of the bathroom and into the living room, his mouth curved up. ―I can see that.‖ ―It‘s just a little water.‖ Yeah, and Lake Michigan was just a pond. Brian walked, and Adam followed. They both stopped at the front door. Adam asked, ―So do I owe you anything?‖ ―For what?‖ ―The ride.‖ Brian flicked a look out at his car in the driveway. When his eyes came back, the heat in them was almost palpable. ―Yeah, yeah… I think you definitely owe me.‖ Adam‘s eyebrows went up. He‘d asked, but he didn‘t really expect an answer. Then again, it was Brian‘s car and his gas, not to mention this was the Zone. Even the cabbies weren‘t brave enough to come out here at night. No wonder Brian wanted to be compensated. Adam dug his wallet out of his pocket. He pulled out a ten and held it out. Brian shook his head. ―That‘s not good enough.‖ ―It‘s all I‘ve got on me.‖ Brian‘s eyes went wicked. ―Ten bucks? Please. That piddling amount won‘t even come close to being a fair payment.‖ He rubbed his chin and made a thinking sound. ―Hmm, nope, I‘m pretty sure Fort Knox wouldn‘t even have enough. After all, you still owe me for not showing up at my party.‖ ―Party?‖ Adam made a face. ―Yeah, you promised me you‘d be there, remember? And do you have any idea what standing up a sixteen-year-old boy does to his selfesteem? The way I see it, you at least owe me lunch.‖ Brian opened the door. ―Lunch?‖

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―Yeah, Adam, lunch.‖ ―Like lunch-lunch. As in going out somewhere?‖ Brian grinned. Adam shook his head. ―I can‘t.‖ He shouldn‘t. He was too close. And close meant he could become dangerous. Brian pulled the key out of the lock and handed it to Adam. ―Sure you can. It‘s just lunch, you know, a sandwich, coffee…. And now that I know where you live, I can camp out on your front porch till you agree.‖ He stepped outside and shut the door. Adam stared at Brian through the squares of glass, trying desperately to come up with a way to back out. And failed. Miserably. Brian held up his arm and pointed to his gold wristwatch. ―I‘ll pick you up tomorrow. Eleven o‘clock sharp.‖ He turned to head down the steps. Adam blinked. ―Wait.‖ And Brian did. ―Are you asking me out on a date?‖ The smile on Brian‘s face went blinding. He pointed to his watch again. ―Eleven o‘clock, be ready.‖ Adam grabbed the doorknob and yanked, but the damn thing was stuck again. By the time he got it open, Brian was already inside his car and backing out of the driveway.

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Chapter 4

“DO YOU think it will hurt?” Adam watched Ean as he walked to the end of the brick wall on his hands. His braids dangled from the top of his head, reminding Adam of the earthworms they dug out from under the rocks to use for bait. The longer ones that hung over his ears had two new glass beads. They were blue. Ean told him he‟d picked them because the color was almost as bright as Adam‟s eyes. Ean balanced on one hand, then the other. “Will what hurt?” “When I become? Will it hurt?” Adam tipped his head to the side and followed Ean with his eyes as he slowly made his way back over. Adam tried to walk on his hands once and wound up falling and busting his lip. When Ean was next to Adam, he spun around and folded himself over until he was straddling the wall and facing Adam once more. “I don‟t think so.” Ean tipped his head so close his lashes almost brushed Adam‟s cheek. “It‟s good she told you. It‟s good you know.” When Adam met Ean‟s gaze, Ean‟s hazel eyes were almost black. “Why do you think it would hurt? Are you afraid?” Adam didn‟t want to admit that he was more than just afraid. He tried to shake his head, but Ean cupped his chin. “You don‟t have to be afraid, Adam. When Batu makes me belong, I will feed you and keep you safe.” “How are you going to feed me?” Ean slapped a hand against his shoulder and declared, “You‟ll drink my blood and eat my flesh!” Adam made a face. “I don‟t want to do that.”

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“You‟ll have to. When you become, you‟ll be like Kin. You‟ll have needs, and you‟ll have to feed.” Ean licked Adam‟s cheek. “You‟ll like it, I promise.” “How do you know? How do you know I‟ll like it?” A small smile curved on Ean‟s face. Adam was all too familiar with that look. It was the one Ean got when he was about to break a Human Taboo, like taking off his jeans and running naked through the yard. Ean‟s arm made a heavy, warm line around Adam‟s shoulder, and his lips pressed close to Adam‟s ear. “I know because I hide in the old air vents, and the Males don‟t know I‟m there. I watch them, Adam. I‟ve seen what they do.”

IT WAS after three in the morning when Adam finally passed out. He‘d cleaned up the lake in the bathroom, propped up the sink with a broom handle, and then had made his way into the confines of his room. He‘d barely gotten his clothes off before collapsing on the bed. It‘d only taken seconds for the inhumanly deep sleep plaguing him since the cravings started to suck him under. The genes responsible had been passed down from his mother. Adam wasn‘t sure how long it was going to take him to go through the biometaphysical changes, but he knew when it hit, it would be fast. It was his eyes. That‘s what Batu had told him once. The color, the hue, was a hint as to how much dragon DNA he had in him. Not that it took a lot to make a person lose their Human biology, but more meant the Shift would be quick. Sometimes even without warning. The big Male had told Adam a lot of things when he was a kid. Most of which Adam didn‘t understand at the time—like how LesserBreds were dangerous. That being Human messed up their Kin parts. How he could kill the people he cared about. Like everything else scary in the Zone, Ean somehow made it better, made it easy for Adam to accept his fate. Some days Adam envied the other boy. Being raised by the monsters had made Ean immune to the kind of fear that made Humans instinctively avoid them.

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The first streaks of dawn broke through the faded curtains over the window near Adam‘s bed. While sleep came on quickly, Adam didn‘t need as much as he used to, and that meant the early morning wake-ups were normal now too. Adam opened his eyes to the small digital clock on the bedside table; it was only a little past five. He felt alert, awake, and humming with energy. Unfortunately, other parts of him were awake too. He groaned and tried to ignore the erection between his legs. Like the hunger, that too was becoming a constant. But then calories and endorphins fueled the Shift. According to the books he‘d read, his cellular biology would undergo multiple stages of metaphysical transfer as his biochemical signatures were broken apart and rewritten. And if his Human genetics didn‘t mess up the process too much, he might actually survive it. Science gave it a fancy medical term like metaphysical molecular transformation. Kin called it becoming. In Adam‘s opinion it all meant the same thing. FUBAR‘d. Luckily, he kept a box of Hostess cupcakes by the bed, along with a bottle of lotion. Could life possibly get any more embarrassing than this? Probably. And to think, once upon a time this had actually been mildly entertaining. Adam rolled onto his back and begged his body to give him a break. Of course, it wouldn‘t. The Kin in him didn‘t care about embarrassment. Like the real deal, things like morals and ethics just didn‘t exist. For dragons there was only one purpose in life—feeding the need. Adam grabbed the bottle of lotion, squeezed out a glob, and closed it in his fist, waiting for it to warm up. Maybe he should use it cold, might teach that thing between his legs a lesson or two. Adam‘s eyes slid back down to the space below his waist where the sheet was tented up like a regular Barnum and Bailey‘s big top. Then, if that didn‘t beat all, the damn thing had the nerve to wave at him. As if he couldn‘t see it.

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Adam slid his lotion-slicked hand under the sheet, past his chest, below his navel, and over the lines of scars. His skin was hotter here, practically on fire. With some shifting and pushing, he got his boxers down past his hips. The barest touch of his fingertips at the base of his cock drew a hiss from behind his clenched teeth. And grabbing it almost sent him into a fit. No doubt this kind of morning wood needed warning labels. Ones that read: ―Jacking off might cause sudden cardiac arrest or brain aneurysm.‖ The first up-stroke made him whimper, and the down stroke made him moan. Before long, he was actually grunting and popping his hips off the mattress to meet the tunnel of his fist. Adam started with the sheet pulled up to his shoulders but wound up kicking it down around his ankles. Anything touching him made it worse. God, maybe it would just take once, which would be nice. But the standard of late was a three-time minimum. Not that his cock wouldn‘t have appreciated more attention. It was simply a matter of his arm giving out. With another kick, Adam flipped over onto his side, one hand pumping while the other one twisted up the sheets as he held on for dear life. The orgasm began somewhere near his ankles and shot up the backs of his legs to his spine. Hot and fast, it made Adam think of magnesium fuses, the kind that, once lit, couldn‘t be put out. ‘Cause God knew there was no stopping this once he got started. And right before the moment of release, one image flashed through his mind, when he‘d felt the cold, damp earth at his back, the warm, hard body against his chest and thighs, and the slick wetness of a tongue scraping the inside of his mouth. God, he even remembered how Ean tasted—like chocolate Yoohoo and Fig Newtons. Adam barked a shout once, twice; wet warmth covered his fist, his thighs, and the sheets. But it wasn‘t over, because the second and third were barreling down on him. Somehow they were even more intense, probably because his nerve endings were on fire. The followups hit hard and fast, a combination of runaway train and drive-by, and Adam soaked himself all over again.

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Before a fourth could get started up, Adam forced himself to let go. With a groan, he kicked and bowed against the mattress. The ghost of skin-to-skin contact made his insides scream and his nuts threaten to detonate. It would calm, he knew it would. Like the hunger, it only felt like a terrible beast he couldn‘t control. He‘d fed it; now all it needed to do was settle. Eventually it did. Although when he opened his eyes, he expected it to be noon or later, but the sky still had the pink and blue tone of early morning. Adam sighed and let his head fall back against the pillow. The really scary part about all this was, as the lines between sex and food merged, things would only get worse. Before long the hand-jobs weren‘t going to be enough. That was something Adam did not want to think about. He used to think about the sex part all the time, what it would be about and how it would feel. Damn, he should have never let Ean talk him into climbing through those air-conditioner vents to watch the Males. Adam pulled his boxers the rest of the way off and used them to wipe off his hands. When he stood up, he grabbed the box of chocolate cupcakes sitting next to the lotion and headed into the bathroom for a shower. By the time Adam had washed, he was hungry again. He grabbed a pair of clean boxers, put them on, and went into the kitchen. He‘d get dressed later; right now he needed to eat. The hunger was always at its worst after he got off. Thank God he‘d done the grocery shopping when he bought the paint. Adam dug out a carton of eggs from the fridge and threw all twelve, shells and all, into a pan. Compulsion drove him to toss in things like pickles, M&Ms, hotdogs, and leftover macaroni from the night before. He stirred it up. The smell of the contrasting food should have sent him gagging, but his palate was in hyper-drive, and the mishmash of flavors coated his tongue, making his hunger kick. Not even half cooked, he scraped it all out into the largest bowl he had and proceeded to shovel it into his mouth. The first time the hunger hit had been on pizza night a few days after the trial. The pain, the cramps, had woken him up and driven him into the kitchen. He ate

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three quarters of a leftover pizza and all six cans of soup in the cabinet right out of the cans. Then the entire chocolate cake that was supposed to be for his birthday. One of the agents who stood guard at the safe house had made it for him as a gift. Adam told the man he‘d knocked it off the counter onto the floor and had to throw it away. Adam shoved his face into the bowl and licked it clean before dropping it into the sink. He gripped the edge of the counter with enough force to turn his knuckles white while he waited for the hunger to bank. Like everything else, eventually the worst of the pain eased off. When his gaze slid to the empty pan and the mess he‘d left on the counter, Adam couldn‘t help but feel disgusted. He‘d raided the kitchen like some sort of animal. God how he hated this. Losing himself. Losing control. When Adam couldn‘t stand the sight of it anymore, he turned on the water and washed off his face. After that, he went to the fridge and grabbed the carton of milk and sat outside on the back porch where the morning had already gone from cool to sticky warm. In spite of the heat, Adam shivered. When Brian showed up, Adam knew he was going to have to back out. This wasn‘t the first time he‘d experienced a metaphysical Flare, a small snapshot of his Kin genetics bubbling to the surface as they took over more and more of his Humanness. But without a doubt it had never been this bad. There was no telling how long it would last. If it backed off enough, he needed to hit the grocery store or risk waking up to empty cabinets and an equally empty stomach. At least with the money the Center for Folk and Kin Relations had given him to get by on, he had enough to keep himself fed. But like the hand-jobs he was using as a stand-in for sex, eventually normal food wouldn‘t be enough to curb the hunger. Adam would crave flesh and blood. Soon he‘d need his own, or he‘d wind up killing someone. Adam swallowed down the last of the milk and crushed the carton in his hands. If only his father had been so easily defeated. The way that man had looked at him after being sentenced was going to haunt Adam‘s nightmares from here on out. At least it was a change of scenery from the standard dark-and-dirt scenario he‘d been playing in his head for years.

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Adam dropped the container on the porch beside him and leaned forward, watching the sway and roll of his laundry drying in the wind. How many summer afternoons had he sat right here in this very spot with Ean? Eating sandwiches Adam‘s mother had made them, practicing Ean‘s writing skills, or Adam just reading out loud. It didn‘t matter what he read to him. Ean was mesmerized by the concept of words being captured on the pages of a book. As they got older, they spent less time here and more time in the green space below the house. They fished, they shared their dreams and their fears, and they played street games with the Males. No matter how far Adam wandered from home, he could always come back here. He was always safe. He hadn‘t been ready to leave home to be with Ean all those years ago, but he was ready now. But until his father was locked away, Ean wasn‘t safe. No one was beyond that man‘s reach, and Adam refused to risk losing the one remaining person in his life he loved. Nothing had prepared him for the possibility that Ean would be the one to never come back once he was here. Adam sucked in a breath and blinked past the burning in his eyes. The air smelled like rain, so Adam stood up to go inside and get the laundry basket. Out in the yard, the sheets snapped in the wind. That‘s when he saw the figure perched on the back wall edging the yard. At first Adam thought he was a feral. Ragged jeans, braided hair tipped in copper wire and glass beads. But Kin didn‘t grow beards, even scraggly goatees. Hell, most of them didn‘t even have belly buttons, and this guy had both. It was Ean. A larger, older version, but it was Ean nonetheless. Adam went down the steps, and for a moment the sheets caught the wind like a sail and blocked his view. He fully expected Ean to be gone when they settled, because this could only be a hallucination. But when the sheets went slack again, Ean was still there. Fierce hazel eyes stared at Adam from under a mass of unruly sun-streaked hair. Ean‘s head tipped to the side like he couldn‘t quite figure out what he was seeing.

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Closer now, it occurred to Adam this might not be such a good idea. He had been gone a long time, and Ean was a man who lived in a world where few dragons managed to survive. But this was Ean, his Ean, and Adam couldn‘t turn away from him again. Adam lifted a hand, maybe to touch him, maybe to push back the braids hanging in his eyes—both were things he‘d done a million times or more as a kid. Ean caught his wrist, and Adam froze. There was strength in Ean‘s grip, the kind of power that matched the tight, lean muscles stretching over his long, wiry frame. Adam didn‘t remember Ean‘s hands feeling so rough or there being so many scars on his body. He gave Ean‘s shoulder a quick scan, but didn‘t see a mark. Batu could have marked Ean on the inner thigh, but Adam didn‘t think so. He couldn‘t say why, really. Ean just didn‘t feel attached to anything Kin. Ean huffed a breath and brought Adam‘s palm to his lips. Warm and wet pressed against Adam‘s skin; the follow-up was a nip of teeth. Another huff, then Ean breathed in deep. Adam knew the ritual was only a learned behavior for Ean. He was Human, and he couldn‘t taste things like Kin could. But it never stopped Ean from trying. It was nice to know that some things about him hadn‘t changed. Adam stepped closer. Ean‘s gaze flicked up, and the muscles tightened under his skin like an animal getting ready to leap. The expression on Ean‘s face was so wary, so… unbelieving. Not that Adam could blame him. He‘d disappeared without a word, and he‘d never tried to contact Ean to let him know he was all right. He‘d done it to keep Ean safe, but that didn‘t change the fact that they‘d lost so much time and Adam had never gotten to make amends for getting angry at him that night. There were so many things Adam wanted to say right then and there, but whatever it was Adam was about to tell Ean got cut off when someone called his name from inside of the house. Adam whipped his head around. Brian. He was early. Just like that, Ean was gone.

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Adam scrambled over the back wall, following the broken, bruised path of kudzu down the hill. He could hear Brian calling his name, but he didn‘t care about that right now. He‘d found Ean. Halfway down the hill, Adam really wished he‘d had time to grab his shoes and a pair of jeans because the blackberry bushes were chewing up his legs. At the bottom of the hill, the ground under his feet took a sudden dip. Adam threw out his hands to keep from taking a header into the clay, face first. His knees slammed into the rocky ground, and pain shot up his leg when something sharp bit into his shin. He scrambled to get back up. A deep ache made Adam limp, but he refused to stop. Dark swatches of bent and broken grass led Adam to the mouth of the green space separating the small neighborhood from the park below. Beneath the canopy of trees, the obvious trail turned into a less than obvious spiderweb of hardpan footpaths leading off in multiple directions. Adam went about another fifty feet before stopping. He turned, scanned the thicket of trees, and saw nothing but shadows among the broken patches of sunlight. No, no, no, this could not be happening. Ean had found him, and now he was gone. Adam didn‘t know what was worse, the fact that he didn‘t have any chance of finding Ean again or having him run in the first place. ―Who are you?‖ Those three little words spun Adam around, and he wound up ass-planting it in the dirt. Crouched low against the ground, Ean eased forward out of the shadows, moving with the kind of grace bordering on the inhuman. Adam noticed the braids beside each of Ean‘s ears still had blue beads at the ends. ―Jesus Christ… Ean….‖ One of Ean‘s hands came out and touched Adam‘s toes. Thanks to the brambles, both of his feet were pretty much shredded, but the cuts and scratches weren‘t as impressive as the ugly gash on his shin. The trails of crimson made red streaks as Ean ran his fingers over the top of Adam‘s foot. When Ean took his hand back, he sniffed his fingers and sucked them clean. Fierce hazel eyes pegged Adam hard. ―Who are you?‖

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―What do you mean, who am I? It‘s me, Adam.‖ ―My Adam is dead.‖ ―I‘m not dead.‖ ―Batu said you were, and he wouldn‘t lie.‖ Adam didn‘t know what to say to that. Lying was against the nature of the species. ―Well he was wrong, Ean. I‘m not dead. I was just gone for a while, that‘s all.‖ He scrambled to his knees and reached out, but Ean pulled away, lips rolling, flashing his Human teeth. The expression would have looked ridiculous on anyone else‘s face. On Ean, it was almost as frightening as the real thing. ―Ean….‖ He growled. Adam ignored the threat and knee-walked closer. Ean lunged. Hand on Adam‘s throat followed by all that weight, the only place Adam could go was flat on his back. He locked a hand over Ean‘s wrist, but there was no moving it. Ean had always been strong, and now it was no different. At least Ean didn‘t squeeze. Ean‘s large hand swept down Adam‘s chest and across his stomach. With his boxers hanging low on his hips, nothing covered the mass of scars running from just under his navel all the way to his left hip. Fingers played across the ridges, tracing, tracking. It tickled, and Adam laughed. Ean‘s face filled his view again, and Ean smiled. ―You sound like my Adam.‖ ―I am, I swear.‖ ―You have scars like him.‖ ―Because I am your Adam.‖ Ean‘s eyebrows came down, and his mouth thinned out. ―You went away.‖ ―I had to.‖ ―You didn‘t come back.‖ ―I couldn‘t.‖ ―I came back, almost every day. Now I don‘t as much.‖

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The movement of Ean‘s hand changed, going from just touching to petting. Slow, heavy sweeps from shoulder to hip. It shouldn‘t have felt so good, but it did. And Adam‘s boxers did a very bad job of concealing his body‘s reaction. Adam‘s eyes rolled up, and he moaned. ―You‘re Flaring.‖ When Ean‘s thumb made circles over his windpipe, Adam had to open his mouth to pant. ―Ean….‖ ―How long, Adam, how long have you been Flaring?‖ ―A few weeks….‖ Ean stopped petting him. From somewhere beyond the green space, Adam heard Brian call his name. The muscles in Ean‘s body tightened, and he hissed. ―It‘s just Brian.‖ ―He‘s Chetrah.‖ ―So are you.‖ Adam remembered too late it was the wrong thing to say. Ean‘s expression hardened, and his eyes narrowed. Adam shrugged. ―Sorry.‖ Ean stood up, and Adam scrambled to his feet. When he tried to put weight on his injured leg, he almost fell. Ean turned away. ―Wait! Where are you going?‖ ―To talk to Batu.‖ ―I can‘t walk. Please, Ean… wait!‖ He did. ―Brian will help you back up the hill. I‘ll be back later.‖ ―When?‖ ―Tonight.‖ Adam limped closer. ―Please, Ean, please don‘t leave me.‖ Ean turned, and the expression on his face was like a punch to Adam‘s chest. There was way too much swimming behind those hazel eyes, far more than what Ean eventually said out loud. ―I never left. You did.‖ With that, Ean disappeared into the underbrush. Adam winced. He didn‘t know what hurt worse, his leg or the truth in those simple words. Didn‘t matter, not really. Adam sighed and

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sat back down on the ground. Damn cut on his shin just wouldn‘t quit bleeding. He pressed his hand over the gash to stop the flow. At the end of the footpath, Brian stepped into view and jogged in his direction. ―Adam!‖ ―Yeah.‖ Leaves and twigs snapped under Brian‘s feet as he walked up. ―Jesus, you‘re bleeding.‖ He knelt down and slipped an arm around Adam‘s shoulders to help him stand. ―What the hell are you doing out here in your boxers?‖ Adam‘s gaze slid back to the spot where Ean had disappeared. It was a perfectly good question. Too bad Adam didn‘t have an equally good answer.

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Chapter 5

“HOW many people live here?” Ean watched as Adam‟s gaze wandered over the hallway of the apartment building. The left side of the structure was blackened and burned whereas the right side just looked old and worn down. “Me, and three Males, and Jerry. Five of us.” Ean counted everyone off on his fingers twice, just to make sure. He was getting a lot better with his numbers now that Adam was helping him. Too bad his letters weren‟t as good. Adam was trying to show him how to write E‟s, but he kept making them backward. Ean couldn‟t tell the difference—frontward, backward, it all looked the same to him. Besides, being able to make E‟s didn‟t make him stronger, better at playing quarters, or a faster runner. As far as he was concerned, they served absolutely no purpose, other than pissing him off and making him want to tear up the paper they were written on. But drawing them made Adam happy, and that was important to Ean. Which was exactly why he‟d brought Adam here. It was Adam‟s birthday, and Ean didn‟t have any money to buy him a gift. So he wanted Adam to meet the rest of the Males who would one day help Adam become. Then maybe he wouldn‟t worry anymore. It seemed like ever since his mother had told Adam about what he‟d one day be, all he did was worry. Adam looked at him. Caught in the glow of his blue, blue eyes, Ean was powerless to stop the ache from firing up in his chest. Humans just didn‟t have eyes that color. Only metaphysical creatures like Kin or their bastard offspring. Ean wanted eyes like Adam, because it meant he wouldn‟t always be weaker, slower… Human.

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“Who‟s Jerry?” Yeah, maybe he shouldn‟t have told Adam about him yet. When Ean shrugged, Adam took Ean‟s hand and rubbed it on his cheek. “Who‟s Jerry, Ean?” Telling him was a bad idea. Ean didn‟t know if it was instinct warning him or something deeper. If he told Adam, it would make him afraid. And Ean didn‟t want him to be afraid. He wanted Adam to want to stay here. With him. Forever. He looked at Adam, knowing he couldn‟t lie. “He‟s Lesser-Bred.” Just like he‟d anticipated, Adam‟s eyes lit up. “Which one does he live in?” Where Ean looked gave it away. Adam turned to the door with the number four and the letter D on the front. “He lives in there.” Adam made it a statement. When Ean didn‟t answer, he walked up and rattled the knob. “Shhh. Don‟t do that.” Ean grabbed his hand, but Adam pulled away. “Why? I thought you said the Males were nice.” “He‟s not Male. Like I said, he‟s Lesser-Bred.” Adam grinned. “Like I‟m going to be!” This time instead of trying the knob, he actually knocked on the door. Ean pulled Adam away. “What?” “He‟s angry all the time.” And that wasn‟t a lie. Jerry was angry. But it wasn‟t because of Human kids beating on his door. According to Batu, Jerry was angry because of his Shift. He had more Human blood in him than Kin, and his becoming had changed him. He‟d lost his hair, developed scales, and his right hand no longer had fingers. But that wasn‟t going to happen to Adam, Batu had promised. Adam was way more Kin. His beautiful blue eyes proved it. Adam pulled away and banged a fist on the door again. “I want to meet him. I want to know what it‟s like. He can tell me, Ean… he can tell me what it‟s—” When the door opened up, Adam screamed.

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ADAM was alive. The thought should have brought Ean some sort of peace, but instead it burned inside his chest like dragon fire. His bare feet pounded against the pavement as he ran down the alleyway between the burnedout factory and the apartment building where he lived. By the time Ean got to the doorway, the shock of seeing Adam had turned into pure anger. It propelled him up the short flight of steps and down the hall. Chetrah lied. Folk lied. But Kin did not lie. It was against the nature of the species. But Batu had lied, and Ean wanted to know why. Ean threw open the apartment door so hard that the knob smacked against the drywall and left a hole. From his seat at the picnic table, Batu looked up. His copper eyes flashed bronze, then gold. Kika and Hurath were at the table, too, and going by the piles of fresh meat on the tabletop, they‘d just sat down to eat. Normally, the smell of food made Ean‘s hunger kick. But today the only thing rolling around inside his chest was pain. ―You lied to me, Batu!‖ Ean rolled his lips and flashed his teeth. From their seats on the other side of the table, Hurath and Kika hissed. Challenging any of the Males was a surefire way for him to wind up rolled. Not that long ago Ean hadn‘t worried about pissing them off. But that was before he‘d smelled like sex and started fucking people in the clubs. Up until then, Batu had called him an egg. Now as a man, he was only food. The massive Male uncurled himself from the plastic lawn chair and stood up. His mane of copper hair almost brushed the busted ceiling fan. Scales fluttered across his shoulders and chest, flashing his true form, before smoothing back out into flawless skin. Like most Dominants, Batu had carved himself big, hiding his dragon self inside a Human shell. And like all Kin, his Human form was impossibly perfect. Beauty personified or not, the sheer size of Batu would have sent most people screaming, but Ean wasn‘t afraid of him. All Kin were stronger than he was, so bigger and badder didn‘t make a difference.

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A deep growl, loud enough to rattle the walls, rolled out of the Male‘s chest. Ean stalked forward, shoulders bowed, lips peeled back. He growled, too, but it didn‘t sound nearly as impressive. ―Sit down, Ean.‖ Ean threw out a hand. ―Fuck you! You lied to me!‖ Batu‘s lips peeled up. Yup, and like the sound effects he cranked out, those tiger-sized fangs were the real deal. ―Sit down, Ean. Now!‖ ―And I said, fuck you!‖ Trying to outmaneuver Batu was a joke, and yet conditioning drove Ean to duck and dive in spite of that fact. The big Male moved toward him faster than his eyes could follow. Batu‘s enormous hand closed on Ean‘s neck and yanked him off his feet. Fighting against all that preternatural strength was as useless as his attempt to run, but then Adam always said he‘d argue with a brick wall. And Batu was about as close to a brick wall as a Kin could get. Ean kicked and snapped at the air, frothing and growling, but with a twist and push, he was pinned to the nap carpet. Batu was over him now, and his mouth pressed against Ean‘s throat. Only instead of teeth, Ean felt Batu‘s tongue lapping against his skin, tasting. A deep breath sucked in his scent. Batu‘s free hand petted Ean from shoulder to hip. From their seat at the table, Kika and Hurath made high-pitched whistles and clicks, the sounds of a hatchling, a Submissive. Close to Ean‘s ear, Batu said, ―You smell different, and you taste wonderful.‖ The Male‘s purr kicked up, a deep, rhythmic thumping sound that made Ean‘s brain go snowy and his muscles turn to Jell-O. Christ, was Batu finally going to do it? Was he finally going to mark him? God of Man, if only he would, then Ean could help Adam become. Teeth grazed Ean‘s skin, and the hot, wet line of Batu‘s tongue followed. The feel of the Dominant against him ripped any thoughts of Adam from his mind. At this moment, nothing mattered but the big Male, Ean, and belonging. ―Do it,‖ Ean hissed, arching under Batu so he could grind against him. The erection was a conditioned response. Smelling like sex was always better than smelling like food.

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Batu hummed as he moved down. His tongue continued to flick out, touching Ean, his shoulder, his chest, his stomach. The big Male paused at Ean‘s navel, nipping at the edges, probing deep. ―Batu! God… please….‖ Further down, the big Male nuzzled the fabric of his jeans close to Ean‘s groin. There were only two places Kin marked who they wanted to belong to them: the shoulder and the inside of the thigh. Ean spread his legs wider and picked his head up to watch. This was going to ruin his Levi‘s, but it would be worth it. Batu‘s copper gaze flicked up. ―You‘re close.‖ He grinned, flashing sharps. Close. ―Goddamn it, Batu!‖ Ean dropped his head back against the floor. Now he was not only in a foul mood but had a hard-on to match it. ―What the fuck are you waiting for?‖ ―You‘re not ready yet.‖ Not ready. Never ready. Ean clenched his eyes shut and stifled the urge to scream. A hand touched Ean‘s throat, a thumb caressed his pulse, and his eyes popped open. All he could see was Batu‘s copper stare. ―How much longer am I going to have to wait?‖ Ean didn‘t even try to cap his anger. ―I told you, if I mark you too soon, you will not be strong enough to sate me. And you‘re too important for me to waste.‖ Well, he didn‘t feel very important right now; he just felt angry. Batu‘s inhumanly warm breath exhaled against his cheek. ―Talk to me, Ean.‖ ―I hate you.‖ ―No, you don‘t.‖ ―You lied to me.‖ Batu‘s brow furrowed, and his blazing eyes darkened to a shade close to bronze. ―I have never lied to you.‖ ―You did.‖ ―When?‖ ―You told me Adam was dead.‖ The Male‘s gaze slid away, and the rage in Ean‘s chest exploded. ―You knew.‖ He kicked, but the Male held him.

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―No.‖ ―You did!‖ ―No, I did not.‖ If only Ean could taste scent like Kin, then he‘d know if Batu was telling him the truth. Ean jerked against the Male‘s grip. The only reason he was able to get away was because Batu let him. ―Ean….‖ Batu reached for him, but Ean scurried back. And Ean never denied the Male touching him. He was Batu‘s just like Adam was his. Ean blinked against the burning in his eyes. If he didn‘t get it to stop, he‘d start leaking everywhere. The Males called it crying, something they never did. But then that‘s because only Humans were weak like that. Batu stood up, towering over Ean for a moment before he moved to the stove where there was a bowl of browned meat off to the side. Once upon a time, Ean had eaten his food raw like the Males, but then he‘d gotten food poisoning. After that, Ean had been banned from eating out of the dumpsters, and now Batu insisted on cooking everything. Obviously, the big Male expected Ean to sit with them. But that wasn‘t going to happen. Not until he got answers. ―Tell me, Batu.‖ The Male fell still, and Ean stared at the wide expanse of his metaphysically tanned back. ―Tell you what?‖ ―Why you lied.‖ His shoulders rose, then fell with the sound of his sigh. ―I. Did. Not. Lie. I want to keep you, Ean. I would never lie to you, ever.‖ ―Then why did you say Adam was dead?‖ ―Because I thought he was.‖ Batu looked at him, his copper gaze darker now. The Male didn‘t need to say what he was thinking. Ean could practically read it on his face. He‘d thought Adam was dead because Ean almost had been. Ean had no idea how long he‘d stayed under the house with Adam. And he‘d stayed because Adam wouldn‘t wake up. By the time Ean crawled out to get help, he was almost too weak to walk.

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―I told you what I thought was true. The Chetrah police were already there when I went to find your Adam. They carried him out from under the house. He didn‘t cry out, he didn‘t move. I thought he was dead.‖ Ean had heard the story a thousand times before, but it felt different now. Now that he knew for a fact Adam was alive, it felt so wrong. But Ean still believed Batu. Ean was ashamed to realize he didn‘t want to, but he did. The Dominant moved to the green lawn chair and sat down. He waved a hand at the end of the table. ―Now sit. Eat. You‘re too skinny.‖ Ean shook his head and stood up. ―I can‘t. I need to go back there and get Adam. He‘s Flaring.‖ The Male flicked him a look. ―Where is he now?‖ ―At the house on the hill where he lived with his mother.‖ ―Good. It is where he belongs. Can you tell how close he is?‖ ―I don‘t know. He was warm, and I could feel his metaphysical energy. Not much, but enough that it made my skin itch.‖ Batu dipped his chin. ―Then you will go get him. Later. That way we can feed him and keep him from killing the Chetrah. They hate us enough. We don‘t need the trouble Lesser-Breds bring.‖ The Male rapped a fist against the picnic table. ―Now sit. Eat. You‘re too skinny.‖ Ean walked over and sat down. He shoveled a few pieces into his mouth, and Batu gave a grunt and went back to his own plate. Ean chewed, swallowed, then said, ―I‘ll talk to him tonight and get him to come here.‖ ―You do that.‖ Ean was silent, then said, ―I‘m sorry, Batu.‖ ―For what?‖ ―Calling you a liar.‖ The Male made a sound, not quite a growl but close. ―It is in the past. This is now. You dwell too much on things. You cannot change what has happened, only what will come.‖ ―I‘m still sorry.‖ ―Forget about it.‖

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Easy for him to say. But then a lot of things were easy for Kin. For the millionth time, Ean wished he didn‘t have all these Human frailties to make him weak. ―Don‘t worry about your Adam, Ean. We‘ll take care of him. Tonight I will go to the Pit and talk to some of the Dominants. There are plenty of Domestics closer to the city looking for good fodder, and Adam will be good fodder. He can feed them, and they will keep him safe.‖ Ean‘s hand froze midway to his mouth. Someone else to keep Adam? ―Wait. Adam is supposed to stay here.‖ Batu shook his head. ―Why? I do not need him.‖ ―You promised.‖ The Male frowned. ―I did not.‖ ―Yes, you did, Batu. You promised years ago that you‘d help Adam become to keep him, and then he would stay here with me, and….‖ Copper eyes pegged Ean where he sat. ―No. I only promised to help him become. That way he will not hurt the Chetrah, and the Chetrah will not blame us for their dead. You only assumed I would keep him.‖ As much as Ean hated to admit it, the big Male was right. He‘d simply assumed that if Batu was willing to help Adam cross over, he would be willing to keep him as well. Batu pointed to his bowl. ―Finish that.‖ But Ean couldn‘t move. What Batu had said about the club and other Males was still rolling through his head. ―Ean?‖ They were all staring at him now—Batu, Hurath, and Kika. Batu gave the bowl a shove. ―Eat.‖ ―You let Jerry stay.‖ The Lesser-Bred lived right next door. Batu‘s massive shoulders went up and down. ―Jerry has money, and he pays me to keep him safe. I need the money to buy you food and take care of you when you‘re sick. Pink‘s doesn‘t pay much for the movies I help him make, you know that.‖ ―Please, Batu….‖ ―No. I do not need your Adam.‖

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―But I do.‖ At the other end of the table, Kika laughed. ―Stupid Chetrah.‖ Batu growled, and the other Male snapped his mouth shut. After a long moment, he brought his gaze back to Ean and said, ―You have me. I am much stronger. I can keep you safe. You do not need a Lesser-Bred.‖ Maybe not in the way Males needed them for flesh and blood, but Ean needed him all the same. Seeing Adam again had stirred all those thoughts Ean had tried so hard to put away. He thought he had. He thought he was over the ache and pain in his chest. It didn‘t hurt all the time like it had when Batu had first told him Adam was dead. And when it did hurt, Ean could soothe it with a visit to the house on the hill. Like today. Only today the end result had been finding Adam. And now that Adam was back, Ean knew the pain would never stop. Unless he was here, close. ―But I want to keep Adam.‖ Kika laughed again and pounded a fist against the table. ―You cannot keep him. You‘re Human.‖ Okay. Maybe keep was the wrong word, but…. ―Batu… please.‖ Batu shook his head. ―Kika is right. You‘re Human. You cannot keep. You cannot own.‖ ―But you could keep Adam for me.‖ Males did it all the time. Some of them had several Lesser-Breds. Sometimes they were for themselves or the Humans who belonged to them. ―And I do not need your Adam. Other Males will need him. I have you, Hurath, and Kika.‖ ―Then let Hurath keep him.‖ Ean knew better than to ask about Kika; he was younger than Hurath. And while Hurath wasn‘t Ean‘s first choice, at least if he kept Adam, he would be here and they could still be together. The yellow-haired Male looked up at Batu, who shook his head. ―Hurath isn‘t strong enough. He is good at fixing broilers and working on pipes. He isn‘t good at fighting.‖ Ean caught Hurath‘s citrine stare. He opened his mouth to argue, and the Male put a hand on his arm. ―He‘s right, Ean.‖ ―But you are strong.‖

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―I‘m not strong enough to keep a Link safe.‖ Hurath‘s hand came up and stroked Ean‘s cheek. ―Listen to Batu. He is our Dominant. He knows what‘s best.‖ ―But I want Adam to stay here.‖ Batu said, ―And I do not need him.‖ Ean slammed his fists down on the table, nearly overturning the bowl of meat. ―What about me? I need Adam. I want him. I don‘t care if I can‘t keep him. He can still stay here, and we can still be together.‖ The Dominant cut him a look. ―Fuck him if that will make you happy.‖ ―That‘s not what I mean….‖ ―Then what do you mean?‖ ―I don‘t know.‖ ―But you want him.‖ Yeah, but then Ean had always wanted Adam. Ached for him. Especially after that day they crawled through the old air conditioner vents to watch the Males. The day Ean had learned Adam had those kinds of thoughts about him too. After a long moment, Ean said, ―This is different.‖ ―How?‖ Good question. Ean had no idea how to explain. He only knew what he felt, and it was heavy in his chest. It ached, it burned, it made him feel full and empty all in the same breath. Ean rubbed his sternum and was surprised to find he wasn‘t bleeding. All things that felt like this were supposed to bleed. ―I just want to keep him, Batu. I‘m supposed to keep him.‖ ―But he will be Lesser-Bred, and he will be food. Even when you belong to me, you will not need to feed, and I will not need your Adam to feed me. I will help your Adam become, but after that he will have to find someone to keep him, or the ferals will eat him. Those are the rules, Ean. That‘s just the way things will be.‖ Batu pushed Ean‘s bowl closer. ―Now eat. You‘re too skinny.‖ But Ean didn‘t want to eat. The cold truth about everything the Male had said to him curdled in his stomach. He felt sick, pissed off, and scared all rolled into one. Ean wanted to scream, to bite, to claw, to

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rage. But Humans didn‘t do that either. Ean decided Kin were right. Humans weren‘t good for anything but food. With a trembling hand, Ean shoveled the bits of meat into his mouth so Batu would quit glaring at him. He chewed, he swallowed, and he tasted none of it.

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Chapter 6

“OW, IT hurts.” “Of course it hurts. You fell out of a tree and hit the ground. Now let me see it.” Adam reluctantly held his arm out to Ean. The other boy tipped his head one way, then the next before dipping in close and lapping the wound with his tongue. “Funny….” Ean sat back and smacked his lips. “What?” He shook his head, and the beads in his hair clicked. “You don‟t taste like buttered chicken and chocolate to me.” Adam made a face. “Why would I taste like that?” “Batu says that‟s what you smell like and that‟s what most Humans taste like. Except for me.” “What do you taste like?” “Peaches, that‟s what Batu says. It‟s why he wants to keep me.” Ean licked the wound again and made a face. “Definitely nothing like chocolate.” “What does it taste like?” Ean‟s brow wrinkled up while he thought. Finally, he said, “Like pennies.” Ean pressed his lips against the wound, and this time he sucked. Adam winced. “That hurts.” “Sorry.” Adam reached up and thumbed off a drop of blood from Ean‟s bottom lip. He stared at it and thought about putting it into his mouth

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to see if he really tasted like pennies instead of buttered chicken and chocolate. According to Ean, when he changed, he‟d want blood. But right now he didn‟t want it. In fact, the idea of putting it in his mouth made his stomach flip. Adam wiped his hand off on his jeans. “It‟s bleeding again,” Ean said. “I can‟t make it quit. Batu licks my cuts, and they quit.” He gave a little show-and-tell of the newest scar on his elbow. It was shiny and pink, like it had been healing for a month instead of a day. “He‟s Kin.” Ean growled. “So.” And Ean wasn‟t. Adam didn‟t say that out loud because reminding Ean he was Human always made him mad. Adam stood up and headed up the hill toward his house. “Where are you going?” Ean ran up behind him. “To let my mom look at it.” “Will she lick it and make it quit bleeding?” Adam rolled his eyes. “No, of course not. She‟ll get the first-aid kit out and clean it with peroxide, then put a Band-Aid on it.” He turned his arm so he could look at the cut. It sure was deep and bleeding a lot. Adam couldn‟t help but wonder if he was going to need stitches. If nothing else, Ean would be impressed.

―ARE you sure you won‘t let me drive you to the hospital?‖ Brian came back into the kitchen. He had a white plastic box tucked under his arm. ―Where did you get the first-aid kit?‖ ―My car.‖ He dumped the contents on the counter beside the fridge. Adam watched from his perch on the tabletop as Brian picked through the contents, pulling out gauze, antibiotic cream, peroxide. When Brian turned back around, he frowned. ―I really think you need stitches.‖

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Adam shook his head. ―I‘m fine.‖ The cut on his leg sure was ugly. At least the bleeding had almost stopped. He pressed the wad of paper towels back over it, mopping up another stream of blood. Brian held up a small bottle of peroxide. ―Here, move your hand.‖ Adam obeyed, and Brian poured the contents over the three-inch gash in Adam‘s shin. It immediately hissed and bubbled. ―Does it hurt?‖ ―Nah, just burns a little.‖ ―Are you ever going to tell me what you were doing out there?‖ After all, he‘d only asked a dozen times, ten of which while they were on their way back up the hill. Thing was, Adam didn‘t want to tell him. ―Adam?‖ Brian‘s hand tightened on his knee. ―I saw something… someone.‖ ―Who?‖ ―Ean.‖ Brian cocked an eyebrow, and his lips thinned out. ―Do I know him?‖ Yeah, he did. How could he forget? Adam shoved his bangs back. It was seriously time for a haircut or braiding again. Brian caught his hand, and his thumb made small circles against Adam‘s palm. ―Talk to me, please.‖ Adam sighed. ―From the park.‖ ―The park?‖ ―Craige broke his nose, remember?‖ Brian‘s eyebrows came down, then popped back up. ―The guy you used to hang around with? The….‖ Wyrm fodder. Adam was pretty sure that‘s what Brian wanted to say. Then Brian seemed to remember what happened the last time he‘d spat out those words, and snapped his mouth shut. Funny, Adam had always heard that time was supposed to dull those angry feelings, but for him it only seemed to have easybaked them into a hard lump somewhere in his gut. ―Yeah, him.‖

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―You‘re still friends with him?‖ There was an odd lilt to Brian‘s voice Adam couldn‘t quite place. Not to mention a cold look in his eyes. ―I was worried he was dead. Today was the first day I‘ve seen him since….‖ He waved a hand. ―Anyway, he took off when he heard you calling my name, and I went after him.‖ Brian paused, then said, ―Oh….‖ His gaze fell back to the wound on Adam‘s leg. His hands got busy doing a whole lot of nothing while Adam pretended not to notice. Adam was silent until a thought occurred to him. ―Did you ever see Ean again at the park after the day we argued?‖ Brian shook his head. ―No, but he could have been there. I don‘t know. I never went back.‖ ―Why?‖ Brian cleared his throat. ―The day after, you know, my dad found out I was going there to play ball and busted my chops for it.‖ ―You got in trouble?‖ ―Oh yeah.‖ Judging by the tone in Brian‘s voice, the word ―trouble‖ was an understatement. ―My old man warned me about going to the parks inside the Zone. He‘s a card-carrying Earth For Humans member. Stupid Craige and his big fucking mouth….‖ ―If you knew you were going to get into trouble, why did you ever go in the first place?‖ Brian‘s dark chocolate-colored eyes came up, and suddenly Adam couldn‘t breathe. ―You.‖ He smiled. It wasn‘t his usual halogen grin. This time it was more subtle, private. ―When you told me you weren‘t allowed beyond the Fringe, I told Craige and Jamie that‘s where we had to go if we were going to shoot hoops.‖ ―But your dad….‖ ―I told you then I had it bad for you.‖ Yeah, he did. Only Adam had been too young to fully appreciate what that meant. He understood it now though. It was the same kind of single-minded obsession which had kept him going all these years. One name, one face, the scent of Male mixed with Human sweat.

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“HE KISSED me.” Ean tipped his head. His hazel gaze was dark. At first Adam thought he was angry, but then he noticed his best friend was smiling. “I know, I saw.” That made Adam blink. It also made the tips of his ears burn hot enough that he was pretty sure his hair was smoldering. “You watched?” Ean nodded. “Why?” “Because I like to watch.” Ean shifted his position on the rock wall, planted one hand between Adam‟s knees, and leaned closer. The beads in his hair clicked when he dipped his chin to lick Adam across the cheek. “How come you never kiss me?” One of Ean‟s eyebrows went up, and he smiled. “Because I don‟t know how to kiss. I only know how to taste.”

―I‘M SORRY, you know?‖ Adam looked at Brian. ―For what?‖ ―Making you mad all those years ago. I know it doesn‘t account for much now. But I am sorry.‖ Brian laughed, only it didn‘t sound happy. Adam dropped his eyes back to his hands, and Brian went back to doctoring his leg. After Brian mopped up the peroxide from the floor with the paper towels, he broke out the tube of antibiotic cream. He gripped the back of Adam‘s calf, and his fingers smoothed across the nasty gash on Adam‘s shin. Brian moved slowly, way more slowly than he needed to, and Adam was pretty sure that gentle kneading of fingers on the back of his leg was totally on purpose. Brian brought his gaze up. ―Do you want me to put a bandage on it?‖

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Adam shook his head because he‘d suddenly gone mute. Brian‘s grip moved down the back of his leg, around his ankle. It lingered there too. Then Brian stood up, and he was wedged between Adam‘s knees and way too close. Brian said, ―You know, I‘m a lot better at it now.‖ ―Better?‖ ―At kissing.‖ Better. At. Kissing. Adam licked his lips. Closer now, Brian‘s hand brushed Adam‘s thigh, his arm, his shoulder, then slipped across his cheek, thumb trailing along his jaw and coming to rest right under his ear. Brian‘s fingers made those same small circles he‘d made against Adam‘s palm at the back of Adam‘s neck. It wasn‘t like being petted, but Adam‘s body didn‘t care. It was touch, and he was starved for it. A small sound slipped from Adam‘s throat. Not quite a whimper but close. ―I could show you.‖ Those dark eyes were only inches away. ―I‘d like to show you.‖ Yeah, and Adam was pretty sure he‘d like it too. ―So… Schroeder.‖ Brian tipped his head, and his words came out across Adam‘s lips. ―Yeah?‖ ―You ever kiss a guy?‖ Adam smiled. ―Once.‖ Because Ean only knew how to taste. ―Once?‖ Brian‘s dark eyes flared. ―God… only once?‖ Adam gave the barest nod. When Brian pulled him forward, he didn‘t resist. Just like the first time, Brian‘s lips were soft and warm, but instead of breaking away after the initial touch, his mouth moved and his tongue pushed into Adam‘s mouth. Adam followed Brian‘s lead, moved his lips, opened his mouth, let his tongue slip forward only to have it pushed back. Brian‘s other hand landed somewhere near Adam‘s hip and stroked upward. The caress made him moan. When Brian finally stopped, they were both panting. ―You have no idea how many nights I dreamed about doing that to you.‖ The

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stubble on his chin brushed against Adam‘s cheek. ―I want to keep doing that. I want to do more than that.‖ And the thickness of Brian‘s tone left nothing to the imagination about the kinds of things he wanted to do. Terrible idea. Very, very bad idea. So why the hell did Adam lean forward and catch Brian‘s mouth again? This time, Brian was the one who made a desperate sound. What started out as tentative grew desperate, mouths working, tongues battling against each other. Adam slipped his hands under Brian‘s button-up, fingers gliding over hot, smooth flesh and tight muscle. He suddenly wanted to feel more of him, needed to feel more. Adam pushed Brian‘s shirt higher, pulled him closer. Against his lips Brian said, ―Adam… I want to touch you. Please let me touch you.‖ Adam was pretty sure he nodded because Brian‘s hand went to the inside of his boxers, gripping him, stroking. And this was still a bad idea. But Adam was powerless to stop himself. The small grunts, the groans, the slight rocking of his hips. With their mouths pressed back together, Adam lost himself to the sensation of heat, touch, the taste… oh, God, the taste. The Males were right—Humans did taste like chocolate and buttered chicken. Only there was something else in Brian‘s scent, something sweeter, and it made Adam want Brian even more. Instinct told him it was because Brian was aroused. Brian‘s free hand moved. This close, Adam could feel him unbuttoning his pants, sliding down the zipper. ―I want you, Adam. I‘ve wanted you since the first day I saw you.‖ Thing was, Adam wanted him, too… his flesh, his blood. Oh God, no! Panic shoved Adam off the table. He slipped out of Brian‘s grasp and shot across the living room, down the hall, and into his bedroom. Once inside, he closed the door, turned the lock, and slid onto the floor. The pain in Adam‘s stomach was almost enough to make him forget the one between his legs. Like a living animal, the hunger tore at his insides, clawing, raging…. Adam scrambled for the drawer at his bedside table, yanked it open, and fumbled for the bag of beef jerky

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inside. When he got it out, he ripped it open with his teeth and shoved the bits of dried meat into his mouth. Chew, swallow, chew, swallow; he couldn‘t eat fast enough. Brian knocked on the door. ―Adam?‖ Around a mouthful of jerky, Adam said, ―Go away.‖ Please, please, for your sake. He shut his eyes and concentrated on breathing. It would pass. It had to pass.

“ADAM, one day you‟re going to become.” He looked at his mother, not understanding all the seriousness in her eyes. “Become what?” “Lesser-Bred….”

A QUICK slide of his tongue over his teeth let Adam know they were still dull, still Human. And his skin wasn‘t burning. According to the Males, it would burn during the first stage of his Shift when his Stain would rise. The bag of beef jerky was almost empty now. Adam poured the last little pieces into his trembling hand and popped them in his mouth. Behind him, the doorknob rattled, and from the other side, Brian said, ―I‘m sorry… God… Adam… I didn‘t mean to scare you.‖ Scare him? Nothing about Brian was scary. Thoughts of ripping his throat out and eating parts of him, now that was a real living nightmare. ―It‘s not you.‖ Either Brian didn‘t hear him, or maybe Adam didn‘t say it out loud, because Brian said, ―You were serious… about never kissing anyone else, weren‘t you? Shit. Adam… I thought… I thought you were just….‖ Another juicy curse, and the doorknob rattled. ―Please let me in. You have to believe me, I would never do anything to hurt you.‖ ―Just go!‖ As soon as Adam said it, he wanted to take it back. This wasn‘t Brian‘s fault. It was the thing inside Adam, the

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inhumanness that would one day rule him, turn him into the monster people feared and make people hate him. It would make people want to kill him. ―Adam….‖ ―Please, Brian… I just want to be alone….‖ No he didn‘t. He wanted to be with Brian, to slide against all his caramel-colored skin, to bite, to tear. ―Fuck.‖ Adam doubled over and held back the scream threatening to boil out of his chest. He didn‘t know what hurt worse, the erection or the hunger. Right now it was a surefire tie. Adam heard Brian sigh. It sounded impossibly loud from the other side of the door. Part of Adam hoped Brian would argue, prayed he would refuse to leave, but instead there was only the sound of movement followed by footsteps, then the thump and rattle of the front door being pulled open and shut.

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Chapter 7

THE nightlight on the wall gave out just enough light that Ean could see Adam tucked in bed, one of his arms wrapped around a stuffed bear. “Ean?” “Yeah.” He stepped out of the shadows and sat down on the edge of the mattress. Sheet rustled, and the bed squeaked. Adam sat up. “What are you doing here?” “I came to see you.” “Why?” Ean didn‟t have an answer, and when he tried to think of one, his chest hurt. He rubbed his sternum and winced. “Are you hurt?” The cut of moonlight coming through the window illuminated Adam‟s face with a wash of silver. Ean moved closer. Even in the poor light, Adam‟s eyes were beautiful. “No… maybe….” Ean shrugged. Adam put a hand where Ean touched his chest. “Let me see.” Ean moved his hand, and Adam tipped his head down. When he exhaled, Ean could feel it on his skin. “I don‟t see anything.” While Adam looked at him, Ean petted him down his back. He frowned, hating the feel of Adam‟s flannel pajamas against his hand. “I think you‟re okay.” Adam sat back up, and Ean noticed the circles under his eyes. They looked just like the ones he got when he tried to stay up as long as

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the Males. Being Human meant he had to sleep more than them, but it didn‟t stop him from trying to stay awake. Ean asked, “Why aren‟t you asleep?” The smile curling on Adam‟s lips wilted. Ean poked the corner of his mouth, trying to make Adam‟s lips turn up again. “What are you doing?” “You quit smiling.” Ean used his thumbs this time, and Adam batted his hands away. “Well?” “Well what?” “Why aren‟t you asleep?” “I should ask you the same thing.” “I‟m not asleep because I came to see you.” Ean bumped his head against Adam‟s as he crawled up on the bed next to him. “Now tell me.” Adam folded up his skinny legs and wrapped his arms around his knees. After a while he said, “Bad dreams.” Ean moved closer. He licked Adam‟s cheek, then the corner of his eye. “What kind?” “About my dad.” Adam‟s hand moved under his shirt. Ean was pretty sure he was touching his scars. He did that a lot when he talked about his dad. “Did it hurt when he cut you?” Adam‟s shoulders rose and fell. “I don‟t remember. I guess so.” “Is that what you dream about?” Another shrug. “Adam?” Adam sighed, then sniffled. When he spoke, his voice was unusually small and quiet. “I dream about him finding us.” “He won‟t.” Ean said it with absolute conviction. “What if he does? What if he finds us and tries to cut me up again?” Blue, blue eyes, the color of midnight, the color of fall skies, the color of sapphires, all rolled into one, hit Ean head-on. Even the shadows couldn‟t snuff out their ethereal glow.

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“I won‟t let him, Adam.” And he wouldn‟t. Right then and there, Ean decided he would die first. When Adam tried to turn away, Ean caught his chin. Something wet dripped on his thumb as it brushed over Adam‟s cheek. “I swear to you, I won‟t let him. I‟ll eat him first.” “You can‟t eat him.” Adam‟s voice cracked. “I will eat him.” Ean sat back and proceeded to demonstrate how he would tear apart Adam‟s enemies by gnashing his teeth and twisting his fists. “Just like a Male. I‟ll eat him, and he‟ll never be able to hurt you again.”

EAN moved through the darkness, sticking to the shadows out of habit. The light was on in Adam‘s old bedroom, and it poured out into the weed-choked yard. He stopped below the bedroom window. Ean had done this so many times as a kid, he didn‘t even have to think about his footing on the old pipes hugging the side of the house. His feet found purchase, and he pulled himself up. A quick glance through the window, and Ean saw Adam‘s bed made and empty. He pushed up the window and climbed in. Ean stopped at the bedroom door and listened before opening it up and looking around. He hadn‘t been in this part of Adam‘s house very often. Usually his only interest was Adam‘s room. But it looked like what he remembered. Except now the air smelled different, like a mixture of paint and lemons. A trail of empty candy wrappers, sandwich meat packages, and a variety of plundered Chef Boyardee cans leaked out of the doorway to the kitchen. Ean followed the trash and found Adam on the floor near the back door. He was curled on his side with his face tucked against his arm and a half-eaten Hostess cupcake in his right hand—like maybe he‘d fallen asleep mid-binge. And considering how close to his Shift Adam was, he‘d probably done just that. Ean‘s gaze went back to the empty snack cake boxes. He frowned. Adam needed to be eating meat, not sugar. He knew LesserBreds craved chocolate in the beginning, but candies and cakes would only make things worse. Adam‘s body needed real fuel, like red, raw meat. Kin blood and flesh was even better. If Ean belonged, he could

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feed Adam. Being Linked metaphysically to a Male meant he could heal injuries which would kill him as a Human. Ean knelt down and pushed the hair away from Adam‘s face. ―Adam?‖ ―Hmmm….‖ ―Adam, wake up.‖ His eyes came open, and he blinked twice. Recognition replaced confusion, and then Adam smiled. ―You came.‖ ―I told you I would.‖ Ean had also promised to keep him safe once and hadn‘t. Ean tried not to think about that right now. Fucking refused to think about it. Just like Batu said, it was in the past, and he couldn‘t change it. Ean could only make sure it never happened again. Adam‘s gaze went to the cupcake in his hand, and he dropped it. Then he gave the rest of the disaster laying on the kitchen floor a onceover. ―Shit… what a mess….‖ Yeah, it was. But Ean didn‘t care. Adam pushed himself up on his elbows. ―Here, let me help you.‖ Ean hooked a hand under Adam‘s arm and pulled him to his feet. ―I need to clean this up.‖ ―You need to rest. C‘mon.‖ ―Let me wash my hands.‖ ―You‘re fine.‖ ―No, I‘m not. I‘m covered in chocolate, and I smell like ravioli.‖ Ean grinned. ―That‘s not funny.‖ Yeah, actually, it was, but Adam was just too tired to appreciate it. Ean pulled Adam in the direction of his room and set him down on the edge of the bed. ―I‘ll get you a washcloth. Just stay here.‖ He darted back into the bathroom, found a cloth hanging on the side of the tub, rewet it, and brought it back into the room. ―Here.‖ ―Thanks.‖ Ean watched him wipe off his hands, arms, face…. Then, for whatever reason, Adam stopped and stared at him. Ean asked, ―What‘s wrong?‖

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―I‘m sorry.‖ He crouched beside Adam. ―For what?‖ ―For not coming back before now.‖ Adam had been gone a long time. Ean wasn‘t sure how long, but there‘d been several winters, several springs, and he was no longer an egg. ―Why didn‘t you?‖ Adam‘s gaze dropped back to the washcloth in his hands, and his bangs slid into his eyes. Ean pushed them back. Maybe later he could braid Adam‘s hair. It had been a long time since he‘d gotten to do that. ―Adam?‖ ―I had to stop him, Ean. I couldn‘t risk him killing you too.‖ Ah, he meant his father. Ean shook his head. ―You didn‘t have to stay away to protect me. Batu keeps me safe.‖ ―No. You don‘t understand. He found us here. Then after he killed Mom, he found me again at the hospital. People died, just because they got in the way. He wasn‘t going to quit. Ever. When the District Attorney asked me to testify, I couldn‘t say no. I had a chance to stop him. And I had a chance to make sure he never hurt anyone else.‖ ―So he‘s gone now?‖ Adam brought his eyes up, and Ean caught his breath. God of Man, they were blue tonight. So blue they almost glowed. ―Yeah. They found him guilty, and now they‘ll put him in prison. He can never get out. I‘m sorry I couldn‘t tell you. I didn‘t have any way to.‖ Ean shrugged. ―It‘s okay.‖ ―No, it isn‘t, but I just didn‘t know what else to do.‖ Adam was silent, then asked, ―Do you hate me?‖ ―Never.‖ Adam laughed. ―I wouldn‘t blame you if you did.‖ Ean sure wished he knew what to say to make Adam feel better. They always knew what to say in the movies he saw. He didn‘t watch them often, and rarely all the way through. The Radio Shack always had one playing in their big picture window on one of the large-screen TVs, and when he fished in the creek on the edge of the Fringe, he

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could see the old drive-in big screen where people would sit in their cars with little boxes on their windows for sound. When nothing came to him, Ean chalked it up to the fact he wasn‘t smart enough to read or write his E‘s. Since he didn‘t have anything fancy to say to comfort Adam, Ean used Batu‘s words instead. ―It‘s in the past, Adam. Just forget about it.‖ ―You make it sound so easy.‖ Maybe. But Ean knew from experience it wasn‘t. Adam picked at a chocolate stain on his jeans. ―I just washed these.‖ After a minute he stopped, his eyes slid shut, and he listed to the left. ―C‘mon… you need to sleep.‖ Ean pulled Adam back upright and helped him with his shirt, then unbuttoned his jeans and peeled them off. His boxers were blue now instead of white, and he smelled like Irish Spring. Ean‘s gaze went lower, to the cut on Adam‘s leg. It was already healing, another sign that he was close. ―He kissed me, again.‖ Ean looked up. ―Who?‖ ―Brian. He‘s the only one I‘ve ever kissed.‖ There was something expectant in Adam‘s tone right then. It was palpable enough to make Ean drop his gaze. He went back to staring at the cut on Adam‘s leg, because looking at him right now just wasn‘t possible. Ean traced the zigzag pattern the brambles had left, following the scratches all the way to the tops of Adam‘s toes. ―Did you like it?‖ When Adam didn‘t answer, Ean brought his eyes back up. Adam stared at an invisible spot on the comforter and rubbed it with his thumb. ―Adam?‖ ―I just want to lie down. I don‘t feel so good.‖ No, he probably didn‘t. Flaring was tiresome and energyconsuming. Ean tugged the edge of the cover back. ―Here, slide under.‖ Adam did, and when Ean covered him up, he asked, ―Are you leaving?‖ ―Only if you want me to.‖

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Adam scooted over and made some room. Ean slid in next to him. When he reached for the light, Adam stopped him. ―Leave it on.‖ ―Sure… whatever you want.‖ Ean laid his head down on the pillow, and Adam moved closer. His skin was hot, and it wasn‘t the normal kind of heat. ―I‘m cold.‖ Ean wrapped an arm around him and tugged the comforter higher. ―You‘re Flaring again.‖ ―How long will it keep happening?‖ Ean petted Adam‘s head and rubbed his cheek against Adam‘s temple. ―I don‘t know. All Lesser-Breds are different. Some take days, some weeks… months. Jerry said he Flared for years before his Shift started.‖ Adam shuddered. Okay, maybe using Jerry as an example was a bad idea. The guy definitely wasn‘t the gold standard. Most LesserBreds who changed like him died. And those who didn‘t die were usually eaten. Lesser-Breds were tolerated by Kin because they could be used as food, and while Jerry had developed draconian features, he didn‘t feed and he couldn‘t feed others. That meant he was useless to Kin in the biggest sense of the word. Yet Batu had no problems with letting him stay there at the apartment. For the money, Ean reminded himself. Because the Male needed it to take care of Ean. Thing was, Ean would have gladly gone without food, clothes, and a roof over his head if he could have Adam. Ean had no idea if what he felt for Adam was anything like what drove Kin to own—to make a person belong to them. He only knew it was there, raw, bleeding, and a lot like the metaphysical strength of dragons, he was powerless against it. Ean decided Batu was wrong. The Dominant said he didn‘t need Adam. But Ean did. And that meant Ean had to keep Adam. Under his chin, wrapped in Ean‘s arms, Adam sighed against his neck and huddled closer. Ean petted him. Up and down, shoulder to hip. It wasn‘t long before Adam‘s trembling body stilled and his breathing evened out.

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In a small voice on the edge of sleep, Adam said Ean‘s name. Ean looked down. ―Yeah.‖ ―When Brian kissed me, I could taste him. Buttered chicken and chocolate just like Batu said.‖ Ean licked his lips. God of Man, to taste. To know the world through flavors and scents. But that was something Ean would never know. Even when Batu made him belong, he‘d only be Human. ―Adam?‖ ―Yeah?‖ ―Can you… can you taste me?‖ Adam gave him the barest nod. ―What do I taste like?‖ Ean already knew, but for some messed up reason, he wanted to hear Adam say it. Two shallow breaths, then one slow pull of air. Adam‘s nostrils flared as his tongue made a small motion across his lips. Not quite licking them, more like plucking the scent from his skin. Watching Adam made Ean‘s lungs turn to concrete while simultaneously liquefying his insides. On the back of a sigh, Adam whispered, ―Peaches. You taste like peaches.‖

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Chapter 8

CURLED between Ean‟s knees, Adam closed his eyes and laid his head back against Ean‟s chest. “Do you love me?” He poked a finger through the hole at the knee of his jeans. It was almost as big as the hole in the knee of Ean‟s Levi‟s. When Ean didn‟t say anything, Adam turned his head and looked at him. Ean‟s head was tilted, and there was a stern look of concentration on his face. His hazel eyes glittered in the fading light. “I don‟t know.” Adam dropped his gaze. Now he felt silly for asking. He poked at the tear in his denims some more. With a little more work, he could make it bigger. Ean sat up from the old oak he was leaning on, put a hand under Adam‟s chin, and pulled his head back up. “Please, don‟t be mad at me.” “I‟m not.” No, but Adam‟s chest sure did hurt, and his eyes burned. He knuckled the right one and muttered something about a bug. Maybe, with any luck, Ean wouldn‟t notice. Ean rubbed his chin across the top of Adam‟s head, then his cheek against Adam‟s temple. “I didn‟t want to lie.” Adam nodded. He could understand that. Like Kin, Ean didn‟t have very many Taboos, but lying was at the top of the list. “Will you….” Adam took a breath. “Will you tell me that you love me anyways, even if you don‟t?” He knew he sounded desperate. Thing was, he was desperate. He had to hear Ean say it—needed to hear it. “Why?”

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Adam dug his hands into the grass beside them and pulled out the young green shoots by the roots. He sprinkled the leafy bits across their legs, then tossed the rest back out into the dirt. With a shrug, he said, “I want to hear you say it.” “So it‟s important to you?” It was very important to Adam. He nodded. Somewhere overhead in the dappled sunlight, a mockingbird called out. It was a very long time before Ean spoke. So long, in fact, Adam started to worry he‟d broken some unspoken rule among Kin. Although considering all the things Ean did, he found that hard to believe. To think Ean would be scared off by his declaration of affection was silly. After all, he didn‟t even get scared when the ferals fought, killed, and ate each other in the streets. Without a doubt, the other boy was the bravest person Adam had ever met. Eventually, Ean dipped his head down and licked him on the cheek. “I love you, Adam.” Even though he was sure the only reason Ean said it was because he‟d asked, Adam still smiled. “I love you too, Ean.”

ADAM knew he was dreaming, and the sensations of chelae raking across his skin, scales sliding along his body, and teeth ripping apart his flesh were nothing more than a hallucination fueled by the metaphysical changes occurring in his body. But it didn‘t matter, because right now it was more real than anything he‘d ever felt before. And fucking A, did it feel good. But then the need to feed could only be eclipsed by the need to feed others. Peaches. God, now he could smell peaches—thick, rich, with the sweet flavor of cream and an undertone of honeysuckle. It coated Adam‘s palate and slid down his throat. His half-awake brain tried to remember where he‘d tasted the flavor before, but he‘d have to wait because his cock was demanding he do something and do it now.

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Eyes still closed, Adam kicked off the covers. With some clumsy pushing and shoving, Adam got his boxers down his hips and grabbed himself. The skin-to-skin contact made him throw his head back and wail. His hips shot forward, and his legs kicked with enough force to yank his body off the mattress. Without a doubt, this time he was going to toss himself onto the floor. But instead of taking a header into the hardwood, strong hands locked onto his hips and yanked him back against the bed. One by one, Adam‘s other senses came online. He was straddled between strong legs, back against a wide chest, held in place by powerful hands. Adam turned his head. Ean. Oh God. He‘d forgotten he was here. And with him. The expression on Ean‘s face was a combination of pain and wonder, his dark eyes locked on Adam‘s hand. Or more precisely what he was doing with it. ―Don‘t stop.‖ Ean‘s words came out on a shaky breath. ―Please, Adam, don‘t stop.‖ Thing was, Adam wasn‘t sure if he could stop. Even if he wanted to. With a moan, Adam moved his hand up and over the blunt end of his cock, dragged his thumb across the slit, then traced the glans, bathing his fingers and palm in the leaking fluids before sliding his grip back down. Ean‘s eyes widened, and his tongue flicked across his lips. Man, he was beautiful—lips parted, cheeks flushed, and panting. The grip on Adam‘s hips tightened, and Ean undulated against his back. ―Please… God of Man… Adam….‖ Faster now, it didn‘t take long for Adam to cultivate the dull ache of pleasure in his nuts into a sharp, wanton pain. Head to toe, inside and out, the sensation ate Adam up. Sweat beaded on his skin and matted his hair. Fist pumping, he kept his eyes on Ean, drinking up the tide of expression as it crossed his face. Seeing him suck on his bottom lip made Adam want to do this for now and forever. There was just one downside; his exhausted body could only take so much. His hand was already cramping, his arm ached, and the

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muscles in his chest were so tight he was sure his ribcage was going to crack. Adam didn‘t know what was worse, the need to come or the need for his arm to fall off. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, ran down his cheeks, and his pulse thundered in his skull. Against his cheek, Ean begged, ―Adam, come for me. Please… please, come for me.‖ God, he was trying, but then it wasn‘t like his body was giving him much choice. Desperate sounds trickled out of Adam‘s throat. And just when he thought he was going to collapse unfinished, Ean‘s grip changed. One arm went across Adam‘s chest, and his other hand covered Adam‘s cock, taking over. ―I‘ve got you.‖ Yeah, he did. And… oh… God… it felt impossibly right. Ean knew just how fast to move his hand, how to slide his palm up and over and then down, twisting his grip and the base before sliding his hand up again. Riding against him, Ean‘s body thrust Adam up into the tunnel of his fist when Adam no longer had the strength. Ean‘s denim-covered erection rubbed so hard against Adam‘s ass that he knew it could only be painful. ―More….‖ Adam arched back, slamming his head against the pillow beside Ean‘s cheek. ―God… please… more….‖ Ean‘s lips caressed his shoulder, and Adam knew what he needed. ―Bite me… Ean… please!‖ He didn‘t even hesitate. Even though Ean‘s Human teeth couldn‘t go very deep, the sensation of being penetrated threw Adam over the cusp, lighting up the orgasm and shredding him. He came screaming, thrashing, helpless as his body was assaulted by the onslaught of pleasure and metaphysical burn. Adam begged for it to end, and he begged for it to start all over. Then he heard Ean make a sound that suggested he‘d come too. Spent, Adam pooled against Ean‘s body and opened his eyes. Dear God, if this was a taste of what becoming was like, he completely understood why so many died during the change.

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At least all his parts were still attached. And they shouldn‘t have been. After an orgasm like that, he should have been in five thousand pieces and scattered throughout the house. The all-over wet told Adam he‘d made one hell of a mess. A quick look down confirmed it. Ejaculate covered his thighs and Ean‘s hand, which was still wrapped around his cock. Even after all that, he was still hard. Shit. Adam blinked and turned his head. Ean still had his mouth locked on Adam‘s shoulder. His eyes were clenched shut, his face was flushed, and his breath went in and out fast enough to make his nostrils flare. ―Ean….‖ Adam swallowed. Now his throat felt like he‘d been eating glass and chasing it with sand. He said Ean‘s name again, and this time Ean‘s eyes popped open, then his mouth. Ean‘s tongue flicked out over his bloody lips. ―You may want to leave.‖ Hazel eyes flicked up. ―Why?‖ ―It‘s going to get worse.‖ The heat in Adam‘s face had nothing to do with the Flare. ―Sometimes this takes… a while. And it‘s bad tonight, worse than ever.‖ ―I‘m not ashamed.‖ No, and he wouldn‘t be. This was Ean, after all. He lived with Kin. A look crossed Ean‘s face. His eyes dropped to his hand, then back up. ―Do you want me to leave?‖ Adam shook his head. ―Do you want me to go find a pay phone and call Batu?‖ No, Adam didn‘t want that either. The peaches-and-cream scent Ean cranked out thickened, and he tipped his head. His rich hazel eyes darkened to black. ―Then what do you want, Adam?‖ What did Adam want? There was only one answer. Ean.

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Chapter 9

EAN didn‟t really want to be here, but Jerry was the only person he knew who could help him do this. His hand touched his pocket, and he felt the stiffness of the cream-colored card he‟d bought at the street market. The edges were gold-colored, with curlicues, small humming birds, and flowers. It made the piece of cardboard almost pretty enough to be a present on its own. But it was blank, and Ean really wanted to put words on the inside because Human things like that were important to Adam. He raised his hand to knock. Dropped it. Then raised it again. Before he could knock on the door, it opened, and the chain at the top snapped taut. Ean had only tried to tell Jerry once how the chains, the locks, and the dead bolts were unnecessary. No Kin in his right mind would challenge Batu. But maybe it wasn‟t Kin Jerry was worried about. Whatever. Ean wasn‟t about to point it out again. It just wasn‟t worth having to dodge the furniture Jerry would throw. “What do you want?” Jerry‟s golden eyes glared at Ean from under a heavy, scaled brow. Ean swallowed. “I need a favor.” “What kind of favor?” “I need your help with something.” “What?”

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Ean fished out the card he had crammed in his pocket and smoothed out the small creases, trying to roll up the corners. “I need you to help me write something on this.” Jerry growled and slammed the door. Ean knocked. “Please, Jerry, I want to give Adam something for his birthday, but I don‟t know how to write. I try, but I can‟t make my Es….” Whatever else Ean was about to say trickled off when Jerry opened the door back up. This time all the way. As in wide enough for him to go inside. Ean had never been in the Lesser-Bred‟s apartment. He only came over here to use the phone, and then Jerry would make him stand out in the hall while he glared at him through the crack in the door. “Well, are you going to stand there all fucking day or what?” Ean stepped inside. It was dark in here except for the glow of some sort of TV on the desk near the wall. Only it wasn‟t a TV. It was a computer, like the ones Ean had seen in movies—the same kind they used in the cafés at the Fringe. Ean didn‟t know much about them, but he‟d never really wanted to. There were other things, too, things Ean didn‟t recognize, and a lot of wires. Jerry limped over and flipped off the screen, leaving only the sickly light from a small lamp on the table near a chair. The LesserBred pulled on his housecoat with his good arm. His other one was tucked inside. According to Batu, it didn‟t look Human anymore. Ean had never seen it, but not much about Jerry looked Human. His head was bald, oddly shaped, and there were bright splashes of iridescent scales on his cheeks. But unlike a Stain, which was below the skin, these lay on top, and sometimes they even fluttered up and down. The sound they made reminded Ean of dead leaves. “Don‟t stare. It‟s rude.” Ean looked at the floor. “Sorry.” “Now what do you want?” Ean held out the card, but the Lesser-Bred didn‟t take it. More glaring from Jerry, and Ean wondered what it was he was supposed to do. Maybe he‟d done something wrong. In that case, there

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was only one way to ask anything Kin for forgiveness. Ean went down on his knees and rolled his shoulders forward to brush them against Jerry‟s feet. He couldn‟t make clicks and purrs like a hatchling, but he could whistle. As soon as Ean‟s shoulders touched Jerry‟s ankles, Jerry jumped back and crashed against the desk in his mad dash to get away. Now the Lesser-Bred was really growling. Worse than that, he was yelling. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Get up!” All Jerry‟s anger, all his aggression weighed on Ean‟s shoulders like a ton of bricks. Ean‟s body remained where it was. “I‟m sorry.” “Then….” Jerry took a breath—several, in fact—and when he finally spoke, his voice was calm. “Get up. Just, get up. There‟s no need for you to roll around on the ground.” Ean unfolded himself from the floor. Jerry fought with his robe. The sudden movement had knocked it off his shoulders, flashing more scales and strange thorny protrusions near his collarbone. When he had everything back in place, Jerry said, “Now what is it you want?” “I need to write something on this card.” Ean held it out. Jerry pointed to the table with the lamp on it. “Put it there.” Ean did; only when he stepped away did Jerry pick it up. He picked up something else too—a pair of glasses—and put them on. His lips twisted up while he examined the folded square, front and back. “There‟s nothing on this.” “I know. That‟s why I need to write something.” “Couldn‟t you just buy a Hallmark like everyone else?” Ean sighed. “I can‟t read, Jerry. I don‟t know what they say.” And the last thing Ean wanted to do was pick out one that was congratulating Adam on the birth of a new baby. Normally, those were easy to spot. But there were other equally embarrassing cards he could pick up instead. Way too many of them hid behind pleasant pictures and funny cartoons. Besides, Adam was too important for just any kind of card. Jerry stared, and being looked at like that made Ean‟s knees tremble.

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“You get down on the floor again, and I‟ll kick you out.” Jerry dug a pen out of the pocket of his robe and sat down in the squishy chair. “Now, what do you want it to say?” Great… here was the hard part. Ean shoved back a handful of braids. “I want to write it.” Jerry made a face. “You just said you can‟t write.” “I need you to help me, but I want to write it.” Jerry looked at the card, then at Ean, then back at the card. “It would be faster if I did it.” Ean had a feeling Jerry would like for it to be faster. He didn‟t have to be Kin and able to scent to know the Lesser-Bred wanted him out of there. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Ean reached for the card, and Jerry growled. “What are you doing?” “I was going to leave.” “But you wanted my help.” “You‟re angry, and you don‟t want to help. I don‟t want to bother you. I‟ll find someone else.” Only Ean didn‟t know anyone else who knew how to write. None of the Males could, but then most Kin couldn‟t. Males were only impressed with the ability of their Queen to read and write Olde Tongue, like they were impressed with the rules of survival and the fear of Females. Learning to read and write Chetrah was a task they had to do on their own. And like bellybuttons and pubic hair, very few saw the use in it. Jerry‟s cold, hard gaze widened, and his expression changed. Ean noticed then the pupil of his right eye wasn‟t round. Jerry pointed with the pen in his hand. “Get the chair.” “But—” “I‟ll help you, Ean. Now shut up and get the chair.” Ean pulled the wooden chair from under the desk and sat it in front of the table close to Jerry. Close enough Ean could smell him. Jerry didn‟t smell like Kin, just Human sweat and soap. The Lesser-Bred handed Ean the pen. Ean would have preferred a pencil so he could erase his mistakes. Now he would have to be extra careful.

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Ean started to put the point against the paper, and Jerry flicked his hand away. “It‟s upside down. You don‟t want to write it upside down.” He turned it. The Lesser-Bred tapped his finger against the cream-colored square. “Now what do you want to write?” Ean blinked. He stared. When he pulled his gaze from the back of the card, he expected Jerry to be glaring at him, but the Lesser-Bred was peering at him through the fingers of his Human hand. “Let me guess, you don‟t know what to write.” Ean shook his head. “Fuck, boy, what the hell does Batu teach you?” “How to fish, how to hunt, how to fight….” Ean stopped because Jerry looked unhappy. But he always looked unhappy. “Jerry, are you sure you want to help?” “Yes. Now shut up and think.” Ean did, but his mind didn‟t stay on track very long. He tried to think of words and only came up with thoughts of the green space, the creeks, the sound of crickets, him and Adam sitting by the tree. What were those words Adam said, the ones that were important to him? Ean said, “How about, „I love you‟.” Jerry gave a snort. “Adam is a boy.” Was he supposed to be something different? “So?” The Lesser-Bred opened his mouth, then closed it. He gave another snort and ran a hand over the top of his skull. The movement made a rough sound. “You don‟t just write „I love you‟ on a card. You write something nice, something so he knows it‟s just for him. Something more fancy than just, „I love you‟.” “Like what?” Jerry waved a hand. “Like, „To Adam, with love from Ean‟.” Jerry‟s face squished up. “Are you sure you want to tell another boy that you love him?” Ean nodded. “Adam loves me. That‟s what he says.” This time when Jerry spoke, his voice was unusually soft. “Do you understand what it means to love someone, Ean?”

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No, not really, and Ean hated not understanding things. It was almost as bad as not being strong. He stared at the pen in his hand. He touched the tip to the paper, leaving behind a dot. One, then two. That wasn‟t helping, so he thought harder. Finally, he asked, “I don‟t know. Is it like belonging?” “What?” Ean looked up, but Jerry wasn‟t watching him anymore. His eyes were on the far wall. There were dark squares hanging there with pictures inside them. But the light was so bad Ean couldn‟t see what they were. He was pretty sure Jerry could though. “Love? Is it like belonging?” Because belonging was a powerful force. And love sounded like it should be powerful too. Jerry blinked, and his eyes came back down. “No….” “Oh.” “It‟s stronger.” Stronger. Ean swallowed. He tried to imagine something more powerful than being metaphysically connected to a Male, filled with preternatural power that could make a person live for centuries. It just wasn‟t possible. Ean wondered if he knew anyone strong like that. And how would he know if he did? He said, “Does love leave a mark?” “Why?” “‟Cause then I would know it if I saw it. I would know if I loved someone or if someone loved me. Or who loved who.” It seemed like a perfectly logical question, one which should be easy to answer because knowing if you belonged was easy, and those who belonged were marked. Jerry stayed quiet for a very long time. So long Ean started to fidget. He stopped because of the expression on the Lesser-Bred‟s face. It wasn‟t his normal angry look. In spite of the scales and his funnyshaped eye, he looked unusually Human. Finally he said, “No, Ean. There are no marks.” “Then how do you know?” Jerry sighed and put his Human hand over his heart. “Because you hurt in here.”

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“All the time?” “No. Just when the one you love goes away.”

IT DIDN‘T seem possible that one word, one syllable, could make Ean burn like this. But it did. Him. Adam wanted him. Not Batu, not one of the Males, not Brian. Hell, not even a woman. Him. The fact that the idea even lit him up seemed impossible. Not that Ean didn‘t want Adam—on the contrary—but the idea of sex had never made him feel like this. After all, fucking was just fucking. Right? Adam moved over on the mattress, and Ean had to let him go. He really didn‘t want to. He liked the feel of Adam against his body. It felt nice. It felt perfect. More than that, it felt right. Beside him, Adam stared down at himself like he wasn‘t quite sure what to do with the thing between his legs. Then he blushed. Ean loved it when Adam blushed. He ran his hand from Adam‘s shoulder to his hip, petting him slowly, up, then down. Adam‘s head fell back against the pillow, and his eyes slid shut. ―Why does that feel so good?‖ The question came out on a whisper. ―You‘re in the peak of your Flare. Right now your body thinks it‘s Kin.‖ More than thinks. Ean glanced at the bite mark on Adam‘s shoulder. It was healing. With the metaphysical surge going through him, it wouldn‘t even scar. And Ean wanted it to scar; he wanted that mark to stay on him forever. Mine. Which was stupid, because Humans didn‘t bond or mark. And yet Ean still felt the need to keep Adam. An urge as undeniable as the necessity for air. Adam made a small helpless sound, and his breathing hitched. One hand cranked the sheets, and the other dug them into his stomach. ―Do you want me to get you something to eat?‖

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―No.‖ Adam‘s eyes came back open and stared at Ean in a way that left no doubt that it wasn‘t food that he wanted right now. Ean smiled. While he might not know how to kiss or read and write, he knew how to soothe, to pet, and to ease the Males. So he knew how to take care of Adam. Ean licked Adam‘s neck, his cheek, and then sucked the tender flesh at his pulse. When he brought his gaze back up, those blue, blue eyes bored into his skull. Adam swallowed so hard that his throat clicked. ―Don‘t worry, Adam, I know how to take care of you.‖ After all, he‘d done this many times with so many different people. And it always felt good—with the Males, with other Lesser-Breds, with the Humans who came to the Queen of Atlanta‘s night club. So, with so much experience, why did Ean find himself hesitating?

“WHAT can you offer him, Ean? Life as wyrm fodder, ‟cause that‟s all you‟re going to be. If you care about Adam so much, you wouldn‟t condemn him to that. You‟d let him be someone, with someone. A person who could actually love him….”

AGAINST his will, Ean admitted to himself Brian was right. The Males had taught Ean to fight, to survive, how to play dice and street ball, but love was a Human concept they‘d never shown him. And Adam deserved better, someone who could read, write, and kiss. Things which had never interested Ean, but they were important to Adam. Ean knew that. God of Man, how he wished he didn‘t. Better yet, he wished he were Kin so he wouldn‘t care. Adam said something that Ean missed. When he looked at him, Adam said, ―I‘m sorry, I thought that you….‖ He sat up. ―I‘ll just… yeah… never mind.‖ He stood. Without even thinking about it, Ean‘s arms shot out and locked around Adam‘s waist. With a pull and twist, Ean yanked Adam over

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and under him. His mouth went down on Adam‘s shoulder, and his hips shot forward, grinding against Adam‘s ass crack. Then Ean‘s common sense kicked him right in the nads of his frontal lobe. What the hell was he doing? If Ean had been naked, he would have been fucking Adam. Ean rolled away and almost dumped himself onto the floor. ―I‘m sorry! Oh God of Man, Adam, I‘m so sorry!‖ His eyes burned; his heart felt like it was going to explode. Ean rammed his hands into his hair, grabbing braids and locks, fighting the urge to rip it all out. ―You deserve to be kissed.‖ And he wasn‘t even smart enough to learn how to write his E‘s. Ean kicked the end of the wrought-iron bed, once, twice. It didn‘t hurt nearly enough. ―Ean….‖ ―No! I‘m sorry. I didn‘t mean to. I just….‖ He wanted to fuck him. That‘s what he wanted, but Adam wasn‘t one of the people at the club. He wasn‘t just a Lesser-Bred. He was too good, too important to be treated like some common roll. And yet that was all Ean knew. All he‘d ever been shown. Tears cut a trail across Ean‘s temple. Great, now he was crying. How appropriate. Weak and stupid. He kicked the footboard again, just because. Adam put a hand on his chin, which made Ean‘s head turn. Ean clenched his eyes shut. He couldn‘t bear to look in those damn eyes of Adam‘s. But then Adam spoke. ―Ean, it‘s okay.‖ Which, of course, made his lids pop open. Goddamned traitors. And yeah, just as Ean anticipated, it hurt to meet Adam‘s gaze. It made chelae to the gut feel like getting tickled. ―I want you.‖ The words shot out of Ean‘s mouth. Adam‘s lips curled. Seeing his small smile eased the pain in Ean‘s chest. ―But I only know how to fuck.‖ Now Adam grinned. ―Isn‘t that the point?‖ ―No… you don‘t understand….‖ The grin on Adam‘s face disappeared. He lay down on his side and petted Ean‘s chest. ―Then explain it to me.‖ ―I don‘t know how to write E‘s or read or kiss… and I‘m not smart enough to learn. You deserve to be kissed, not fucked… and

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that‘s all I know how to do.‖ Ean shut his eyes again and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes until he saw spots. This time it wasn‘t about avoiding Adam‘s gaze. It was about trying to keep all the tears from leaking out. Didn‘t work. Then to top it off, he actually sobbed. Thank you, God of Man, none of the Males were there to see it. They would never let him live this down. ―But you want me.‖ It wasn‘t a question. Ean nodded. ―More than anything.‖ He took a breath. ―I‘ve always wanted you.‖ And something told Ean that he always would. Another sob, and Adam shushed him. ―It‘s okay.‖ Closer now, and Ean could feel Adam‘s breath on his neck when he spoke. ―I don‘t care about what you know or don‘t know, Ean. But I can promise you I don‘t want to do this with anyone else. I don‘t want it to be Brian or the Males. I‘ve never wanted it to be anyone but you.‖ Adam‘s hand moved lower, petting Ean‘s stomach, feathering his navel. Whatever it was Ean had been going to say evaporated when wet warmth touched his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. It felt good, too good. It was the heat, the push of energy, the feel of something ethereal crawling under his skin. The inhuman sensation from the contact was because Adam was Flaring, but it still shouldn‘t have felt like this. Ean had been with Lesser-Breds before, but just the barest touch from Adam made all those other times pale. Ean picked his head up and watched. Adam pressed his lips to Ean‘s skin, one place, then another. ―What… oh, God of Man… what are you… doing?‖ ―I‘m kissing you.‖ Oh fuck. Adam was kissing him. Lower. And lower. ―Wait….‖ Adam looked up, his eyes were dark, his lips wet. Ean instantly forgot what he was going to say again. ―Do you want me to stop?‖ Ean shook his head. With his eyes still locked on Ean, Adam dipped his head, kissed Ean‘s navel—probed it with his tongue.

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―I-I‘m supposed to be taking care of you.‖ Did Adam even hear him? After all, Ean didn‘t exactly have a lot of air in his lungs to push the question out. At the moment, he barely had enough to keep conscious. Adam undid the button of Ean‘s Levi‘s. Then he pulled down the zipper. His hand slipped inside, and Ean threw his head back and moaned. He lay there, feeling Adam‘s hand on him, one stroke, another, then… nothing. After a long moment, Ean rolled his eyes back down. Adam‘s hand was on his cock, and he was… well… just looking at it. Okay. Ean waited, but Adam didn‘t move. Maybe something was wrong? He sat up on his elbows so he could get a better look. Everything looked normal. Well, as normal as a hard-on that felt like it was about to burst could look. Too small? Surely to hell, no way. Ean had seen plenty of small dicks in his life, and that was not his problem. Maybe it wasn‘t pretty enough? It did kind of curve to the left. No one had ever complained before. Then again, most of the people in the clubs didn‘t get this up close and personal, or they were too drunk to care. Adam still stared. ―Is something wrong?‖ Ean had no fucking clue what he was going to do if Adam said yeah. ―It‘s bigger than it felt… you know… when your pants were up.‖ That shouldn‘t have been such a relief, but it was. Adam shook his head and added, ―I‘m not going to be very good at this.‖ ―Good at….‖ Adam moved forward and swallowed the tip of Ean‘s cock. ―Oh, God of Man….‖ Using his hand, tongue, and even his teeth, Adam worked Ean, sometimes going down so far he made himself cough and gag. This was by far the first time Ean had been sucked off, and Adam was right—he wasn‘t particularly skilled, but it had never felt like this before. Like the kissing, the touching, it felt a million times more intense… but then this was Adam… his Adam.

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It didn‘t take long before Ean was fisting the sheets and biting back the urgency for release. And any second now, that was a battle he was so going to lose. ―Stop….‖ Ean grabbed Adam‘s wrist and pulled at his hair. ―Stop… please… I don‘t want to come yet….‖ Adam‘s mouth popped free. Looking at him was a mistake. His lips were swollen, his face flushed, his chin wet with saliva and fluid. ―What? Why?‖ Yeah, why? ‘Cause no one in their right mind would not want to finish something that felt this good. ―I‘m Human.‖ Adam arched an eyebrow at Ean, then moved to go back down on him again. ―No… Adam… I‘m Human. I can‘t keep going. Once or twice, and I‘m spent for a while. If I go now, I won‘t be able to take care of you.‖ Adam looked down at what he had gripped in his fist like maybe he was considering ignoring that little piece of truth. At the moment, Ean kinda wished he would. Then Adam nodded. ―Okay.‖ Adam crawled back up beside Ean and faced him. Ean used the pillowcase to wipe off his chin. ―Sorry.‖ ―No.‖ He grinned. ―I like you like that.‖ Of course, the blush that fired up in Adam‘s cheeks was even nicer. ―Now what?‖ ―How many times?‖ Ean shoved his jeans down off his hips and kicked them onto the floor. ―Huh?‖ ―How many times do you usually go when you Flare and you… you know.‖ Ean gave some show and tell by pumping his fist in the air between them. Adam shut his eyes, and the blush in his cheeks went from pink to fire engine red. ―Hey.‖ Ean put a hand on his neck. ―Why are you ashamed?‖ After all, if he needed it, he needed it. Adam shrugged. ―I have no idea.‖ He laughed. ―Pretty stupid, huh?‖ ―Human,‖ Ean said. ―Not stupid.‖ ―You‘re Human. How come it doesn‘t bother you?‖

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Ean shrugged. ―I don‘t know.‖ A lot of things didn‘t bother Ean. His life depended on it. ―Don‘t worry about it, not right now, anyways. Just tell me.‖ Adam sighed and let his head flop back against the pillow. ―Three, usually. Sometimes more.‖ He ran a hand across his stomach, then a little lower. He wanted to touch himself, needed to touch himself; it was written in his expression and how his cock twitched as his fingers curled. ―I‘ll take care of you, Adam. I promise.‖ And even though Ean had said that a million times or more all those years ago, he meant it now more than ever. Ean tipped his head closer and licked the corner of Adam‘s eye, his cheek, his lips. Adam‘s tongue flicked out, and he hissed. ―God, I can taste you. More….‖ Ean gave Adam his mouth, and Adam‘s hands came up to burrow into Ean‘s hair. Adam‘s tongue went deep, scraping the inside of Ean‘s mouth, easing over his palate. Ean could hear Adam‘s throat click as he swallowed. It didn‘t surprise him that tasting came natural to Adam. In the Flare, his Kin side was strong. The growl, however, was a little bit of a shocker. Adam pulled back, and his chest went up and down as he did some rapid-fire breathing. ―Fuck… Ean… I want to bite you.‖ He put a hand over his mouth, and his eyes peeled wide. ―Oh, God….‖ ―Shhh—it‘s normal. Don‘t worry, I know how to handle it.‖ ―Handle it?‖ ―Yeah, I won‘t get scared.‖ It was clear by the expression on Adam‘s face that he didn‘t understand what Ean meant, but he seemed to accept it. ―I‘ve got you, okay. Just relax and trust me.‖ Ean slid lower and pressed his mouth to Adam‘s collarbone. He chased the flick of his tongue with suction from his lips. Ean did this all the way down until he reached the soft, downy hairs making a dark line under Adam‘s navel. There he licked his scars, tasting sweat, come, and Adam. Under it all was a sweetness, like the scent of burnt chocolate and coffee. Adam was beginning to taste like Kin.

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Ean petted Adam along the insides of his thighs, to the top, then his hip; lower, he nipped the skin around his groin and nuzzled the denser patch of hair. He inhaled, wishing he could scent beyond his Human senses. More than anything, Ean wanted to make this last so he could watch Adam‘s expression, listen to the sounds he would make. But Adam didn‘t have time. The heat radiating from his skin grew thicker by the second, becoming a corporeal sensation of superheated cobwebs. When he looked up, Adam was watching him with wide, frightened eyes. ―I feel something.‖ ―It‘s normal.‖ ―What is it?‖ ―Your preternatural self.‖ ―It feels like I‘m touching you.‖ ―Yeah. It‘s okay. Just don‘t fight it. Let it happen.‖ Ean pushed Adam‘s legs a little wider as he settled down between them. Eyes still on Adam, he said, ―I‘m going to use my mouth first.‖ Adam nodded. ―You ready?‖ Adam‘s only response was to bite his lip. Ean licked and nipped his way up Adam‘s length. There was no way he was going to be able to take all of him, so he used his hand to cover what he couldn‘t swallow as he slid his mouth down over Adam‘s cock. Stroking, sucking, it wasn‘t long before Adam was fisting his hands in Ean‘s hair and grunting. When Ean rolled his gaze back up, Adam was watching him. Mouth open, heat in his cheeks, eyes dark and glassy, Adam‘s expression had transformed from scared to a mask of ecstasy. Just the sight of Adam was almost enough to bring Ean to completion. Without much warning, Adam‘s hips shot forward, and he threw back his head, shouting as he lost himself. Kicking, begging, he screamed Ean‘s name…. In spite of coming earlier, it took everything for Ean not to grab himself to get some relief. After Ean swallowed, he licked his way back up to Adam‘s mouth. Adam‘s eyes were shut, his lips parted, and his tongue kept flicking over his teeth like he was looking for something sharp to cut himself on. A quick look revealed his teeth were still Human. Which was a good thing.

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―Adam….‖ Adam moaned as his eyes came open. Dark, distant, and glazed, he looked drunk. ―You still with me?‖ ―Yeah… God… that… that was… nice.‖ His smile was lopsided but still lovely. Ean said, ―How do you feel?‖ Adam‘s brow wrinkled. ―It‘s important or I wouldn‘t ask.‖ Adam licked his lips. ―Warm… and cold. And hungry. I can still taste you.‖ ―Does your jaw hurt?‖ ―Hurt?‖ ―Like a toothache.‖ Adam blinked a couple of times, then shook his head. ―No, why?‖ ―‘Cause if you spring teeth, this could get dangerous.‖ As in, Adam could eat him. In Ean‘s opinion, it wouldn‘t be such a bad way to die. ―No, just warm and cold all over.‖ ―Good.‖ Ean dipped his head closer. ―You sure you want to do this?‖ Adam put a hand on his cheek. His thumb traced Ean‘s mouth, then his chin. ―Yeah… you?‖ God of Man, Adam so did not need to ask that. What he was thinking must have shown on his face because Adam laughed. Ean put a hand on Adam‘s thigh. ―Bring your leg up.‖ ―Wouldn‘t it be easier if I roll over?‖ Normally, that was how Ean took his rolls, but Adam wasn‘t just anyone. He wanted to watch him, needed to watch him. ―No… I want you like this so I can see you.‖ Adam‘s leg came up, bending at the knee, foot flat on the mattress. Ean pulled himself up so most of his weight was on his left elbow. ―Now the other one.‖ Adam lifted that one too, and suddenly Ean was cradled in the heat of Adam‘s body. ―Now what?‖ Ean smiled. ―I need to make you ready.‖ ―How?‖

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Ean slipped two of his fingers into his mouth, soaking them in spit. Adam shut his eyes. When he dropped his hand to Adam‘s thigh, Adam jumped. ―Relax.‖ Ean leaned closer and licked him across the lips. ―It‘s just me.‖ ―It‘s going to hurt, isn‘t it.‖ ―If it does, I‘ll stop.‖ But Ean knew it wouldn‘t. In the Flare, Adam‘s body wouldn‘t feel anything but release. Ean nipped Adam‘s bottom lip. At the same time, he slid his hand under Adam‘s nuts and felt them pull tight. Lower, Ean traced Adam‘s crease and stopped at his opening. Every muscle in Adam‘s body hummed with tension, and Ean needed him to relax. ―Adam?‖ ―What?‖ Adam opened his eyes back up. ―Teach me how to kiss.‖ ―Now?‖ Yeah, ‘cause it was the perfect time. ―Please.‖ ―I won‘t be very good at it.‖ ―That‘s okay, neither will I.‖ Adam seemed to think about that; then he picked his head up. ―Closer.‖ Ean obeyed. ―I‘m going to press my lips to yours, open your mouth a little when I do, then just feel what I do… okay?‖ Ean nodded. Adam‘s lips touched his and… so soft, so warm, some pressing, some moving away, a little tilting of his head. When Adam‘s tongue slipped into his mouth, Ean almost forgot what else he was supposed to be doing. God of Man, this was nice, like warm, wet silk. This was definitely nothing like tasting, which was methodical, deep. This was gentle. Just like Adam. While Adam worked his mouth, Ean stroked Adam‘s opening, slicking up the outer rim, then, with a gentle push, penetrated. Against his mouth, Adam moaned and hitched his legs up, draping them over Ean‘s thighs. The second finger earned Ean a few more sound effects, and the kissing became messier. Desperate. Ean moved his fingers in and out, working him, twisting to find just the right angle.

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Adam barked out a cry and tossed his head back. His hips shot forward, and his erection dug into Ean‘s stomach. ―God… Ean… that… feels….‖ His eyes rolled up, and he rode against Ean‘s digits. Just like this, Ean could watch Adam forever. So beautiful, flushed, sweating… helpless. And it made Ean feel powerful. He nipped Adam‘s throat, his shoulder… every touch of his lips, caress of his tongue stoked the heat under Adam‘s skin until it was almost unbearable. Until it almost burned to touch him. The metaphysical surge rolled over Ean, through him, stroking him from the inside. ―Ean… please… more….‖ Yeah, it was either now or he was going to lose it. And it was either lose it or something was going to burst. Ean removed his fingers and positioned himself. He leaned forward, balancing his weight on his hand planted beside Adam‘s head. God of Man, Ean was so ready for this. Then he looked into Adam‘s eyes, and what he saw broke something open inside him. Ean didn‘t have a name for what he felt. But it hurt, and yet at the same time, it made him feel stronger than the Males. There was no doubt in Ean‘s mind that if he did this, something would happen. The thing inside him would become a part of Adam. It might not be the same as belonging, but it was going to be as close as a Human could get. Adam was his and had always been his, but this would make Ean Adam‘s. Adam looked at him. ―What‘s wrong?‖ Nothing. Everything. Because lying to Adam was impossible for him. Ean avoided having to answer by pressing his mouth to Adam‘s. He thrust his tongue deep and, at the same time, penetrated. And even though it was Adam taking on his length and girth, it was Ean who cried out. He meant to go slow, really he did, but with the heat and the sensation of metaphysical energy sliding through him, the feel of being seated inside Adam was just too much. Before he knew it, he was riding Adam hard, their bodies slamming together, the sound of flesh to flesh rivaled by their breathing and desperate cries. Ean wrapped a hand around Adam‘s cock, stroking him in time with the surge of his hips. Gazes locked, bringing Adam became his focus; filling him became a must.

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Minutes, hours, years, or eternity, Ean didn‘t know or care. He lived now, in this moment. More than ever, he would never be able to give Adam up. Not to another to keep him, not to another to feed him. Batu might not want Adam. But Ean did. Ean slammed his mouth against Adam‘s, and as soon as their tongues swept together, they both came, shouting into each other‘s throats, drinking down one another‘s names. For a few terrifying seconds, the metaphysical heat coming from Adam rippled the air. Adam bucked under Ean, his body arching, his muscles rolling. He tore his mouth away from Ean‘s and snapped at the air. Terrible sounds, inhuman growls, ripped out of Adam‘s throat. Ean knew if Adam shifted now, he would die. Without the sex, Adam would have to feed; like a hatchling, he‘d be driven by instinct to survive at all costs. ―Ean….‖ Adam shoved his shoulders, trying to push him off, but Ean grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head. Bodies still locked together, Adam rode against him, his eyes peeled wide and terrified. Sweat rolled down Ean‘s back, and his muscles trembled with the exertion of holding Adam back. Adam was getting stronger; the power of metaphysics was beginning to change him Kill me. He wants to kill me and eat the softest parts. And the fantasy of committing the act was practically flashing through Adam‘s eyes. ―I‘m not afraid,‖ Ean told him. And he wasn‘t. Even knowing his death could be seconds away, Ean wouldn‘t have traded this moment for anything. Not even belonging. That thought exhilarated and confused him all in a single breath. Belonging had been Ean‘s sole focus in life until this moment. Now his focus was keeping Adam. Even if it meant losing everything else. Adam arched against Ean, exhaling one last cry. Then the heat he was making flickered out. His eyelids fluttered once and closed.

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Chapter 10

ADAM was standing in line at the cash register with two Yoo-hoos under one arm and a package of Fig Newtons in his hand when someone behind him spoke. “What‟s your name?” Adam turned. The smile the other boy wore flashed his perfect teeth, and they were as beautiful as the rest of him—all over caramelcolored skin, chocolate-colored eyes, chocolate-colored hair. He was about the same height as Adam, but he had a lot more muscle. The polo shirt he wore sported the logo for the local high school. Adam blinked and tossed a quick look around. “Yes, I‟m talking to you.” If it were even possible, his smile went even brighter. Adam looked away. He wasn‟t supposed to talk to people outside the Gray Zone. If his mom knew he‟d come to the other side of the Fringe, she‟d tan his ass. Or worse, ground him from seeing Ean for a week. But they didn‟t sell Yoo-hoos on the inside of the Zone, or Fig Newtons, and Ean really wanted some. Adam glanced out the window. He couldn‟t see Ean because he was on the other side of the buildings. He wasn‟t allowed outside the Zone either, and since lying to Batu wasn‟t an option…. “What‟s wrong ? Don‟t you know how to talk?” When Adam brought his eyes back, the caramel-skinned boy was still looking at him and still smiling. What would it hurt to tell him? “Adam. My name‟s Adam.”

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“I‟m Brian Stanson. So, do you live around here?” Adam nodded. Brian threw his thumb over his shoulder. “My friends and I are gonna play some basketball at the park. You wanna come?” For whatever reason, that made Adam blush. He shook his head. “C‟mon, it‟ll be fun.” Brian put a hand on his arm. Adam‟s eyes went to where Brian touched him. His skin felt funny, tingly. Come to think of it, his stomach felt kind of weird too. Adam said, “I can‟t.” “Why not?” “I‟m not allowed. I can only play in the eastside park.” Brian‟s eyes widened. “In the Zone?” “Who‟s in the Zone?” A way-too-tall redheaded boy stepped up beside Brian. “Uh, no one. Adam, this is Craige. Craige, Adam.” The redhead grinned. Unlike Brian, it wasn‟t a pretty expression. In fact, it kind of reminded Adam of sharks. “Dude, what‟s with the hair?” One of Craige‟s big hands came up and flicked the braid over Adam‟s ear. “Going for the all-over wyrm-fodder look?” Adam knew what he meant. No shirt, no shoes, ratty Levi‟s, braids, beads, and copper wire. He was dressed like the ferals, and normal folks didn‟t dress like that. Craige gave him some more up and down, and then his eyes landed on Adam‟s stomach. “Holy fuck. What the hell happened to you?” Brian punched Craige in the shoulder. “Don‟t be such an asshole.” Craige waved a hand. “Well, hell, look at the scars on his stomach. Someone did some serious ginsu on his ass.” Yeah, this was exactly why talking to people on the outside was bad. The customers in front of Adam vacated the spot at the counter, so he stepped up and placed his items beside the cash register. While the man rang up his bill, Adam dug his money out of his pocket. Quarters, nickels, and dimes. He piled them on the counter and counted out the right amount as quickly as he could.

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Brian said something else, but Adam was in too much of a hurry. He needed out of there, and now. Behind him, Craige laughed, and Brian told him to shut up again. Adam shoved his change back into his pocket, stuffed the drinks and cookies under his arm, and made a break for the door. “Hey.” Brian was right behind him. Adam tossed a look back. It was a mistake. Distracted, he didn‟t see the guy step from around the corner and bounced right off his chest. He fell back, dropping both drinks and the cookies. With a pop, the Yoo-hoos expelled their contents onto the sidewalk, and Adam wound up sitting on his ass in the middle of the mess. From the open door of the convenience store, Craige laughed. “Hey, are you okay?” Brian knelt down. “Here, let me help.” “I‟m fine.” But Adam wasn‟t. Not really. He‟d lost the drinks. The cookies were salvageable, but there was no getting back the Yoohoos unless they planned on sucking them off the ground with a straw. Adam knocked the glass out of his way, snatched up the Fig Newtons, and stood. “You‟re bleeding.” Brian grabbed his wrist. Adam froze. “Damn, this looks really bad.” Fingers played over his palm, then traced his thumb. “It‟s fine.” Not that Adam could really say for sure. He still hadn‟t looked at it yet. For all Adam knew, all four fingers and his thumb had been cut clean off. His eyes were still on Brian. Brian pulled something out of his pocket; then he pressed it to Adam‟s thumb. Now it hurt. Adam hissed. “Sorry, but you‟re bleeding all over.” Adam looked down to where Brian was holding a Micky D‟s napkin to the cut at the base of his thumb. Brian was right; he was bleeding all over the place. “Sit down over here.” Adam let the other boy pull him to his feet and guide him to the bench beside the window. “Keep it above your shoulder and hold the napkin here.” Adam kept his hand where Brian placed it.

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“Yeah, like that.” They sat there for a while, hands clasped over the cut on Adam‟s hand. After a while, Brian said, “I‟m sorry about that.” “About what?” He tossed his chin back toward the store. “Craige. He‟s an okay guy. But sometimes he can be a jerk.” Speaking of which, his redheaded friend was now at the opposite corner talking to a dark-skinned guy with dreads. Both of them were grinning, and every so often their eyes slid over in Adam‟s direction. Adam said, “It‟s okay.” Brian shook his head. “No, it‟s not. He doesn‟t have any right to treat you that way. About your hair, clothes, or your….” His gaze slid down, then away. Adam looked down at his stomach. Brian‟s reaction wasn‟t new. Lots of people from the outside looked at him like that. On the inside of the Zone, the Males never stared or asked questions or, better yet, felt sorry for him. “My dad did it.” Brian flinched. “Huh?” “You want to know how it happened.” Adam ran a hand over the patch of scars. “Everybody does.” Now it was Brian‟s turn to blush. It looked good on him. Adam smiled. “I wasn‟t going to ask.” “But you wanted to. It‟s okay. I‟m not ashamed.” And he wasn‟t. If there was one thing that never made him embarrassed, it was the fact he had survived. And besides, Ean liked his scars. Brian stared at Adam‟s scars now. The hand not holding Adam‟s moved a little. “Go ahead.” His dark eyes came up. “I don‟t mind.” When Brian‟s gaze flicked away, Adam picked up Brian‟s hand and put it on his stomach. “It looks worse than it feels.” He used Brian‟s fingers to trace the jagged crisscrossing lines. Brian looked at him again, his expression kind of pinched, kind of dark. Adam had no idea what was going through his head. Thing was, the look wasn‟t unfamiliar. ‟Cause Ean sometimes looked at him in the exact same way. The few times Adam tried asking Ean what he was thinking about, he‟d just shake his head.

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Brian swallowed, and his throat clicked. “Why?” “Why what?” “Why did your dad do this?” Brian moved his hand on his own now, tracing the dark pink lines that ran from just under Adam‟s navel to his hip and back. Adam shrugged even though he knew why. But he wasn‟t supposed to say. And since Brian wasn‟t Kin, he‟d never know Adam was lying. Brian coughed, his hand dropped away, and he became all interested in the cut on Adam‟s hand. “I think it‟s quit.” He picked up the napkin for a quick peek. “You should probably put some medicine on it. I don‟t have a Band-Aid. You should probably get one of those too.” “Thank you.” Adam took hold of Brian‟s hand and flipped it palm up. He ran his tongue across the center, leaving a slick, wet line. And dang, he‟d thought Brian had blushed before. Adam looked back down. Outside, he was on the outside. Humans did not lick palms. Shit, he‟d screwed up. Really screwed up. Going by the look on Brian‟s face, there was a pretty good chance something bad was about to happen. “I‟m sorry… I… I should go.” Adam stood up to leave, but Brian put a hand on his arm. “No. Please.” Their eyes met, and Adam forgot how to breathe. Brian leaned closer. “I wanna make it up to you.” “What?” “The drinks. I want to buy you some new ones. Will you let me?” “It‟s okay. I can get some more.” The fact that he was out of money was beside the point. But there would be other days, more money, and bottles of Yoo-hoo. “Please?” Instinct told Adam to say no, but Brian had asked nicely, and he didn‟t seem mad about getting his palm licked. He smiled a little, and so did Brian. “Okay.” “Then you‟ll wait here?” Brian stood up. “Yeah.” “And not leave?” The guy pointed to the bench, and Adam laughed. “Right here.”

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“I said yeah.” “Okay, I‟ll be right back. Don‟t move. Give me two minutes, maybe three.” He shot off back to the store. The bells tied to the door handle clanged when Brian yanked it open and went inside. Craige and his friend were gone now, so the only people around were those going in and out of the store and walking on the streets. Adam had his eyes on an old couple climbing out of their big fancy car when a hand touched him on the back of the neck. He jumped. “Hey.” Ean‟s hazel eyes twinkled inches from Adam‟s face. Adam said, “What are you doing here? You‟ll get in trouble.” “You were taking a long time.” Those dark hazel eyes flicked up, watching the people, the store, then the cars. Eyes still on everything else, Ean added, “I was getting worried.” “I‟m okay. Brian went to get us….” Adam waved a hand in the direction of the store, and Ean caught it. “What happened?” He sniffed the cut, then licked it. “I dropped our drinks.” “How did you get cut?” “I sort of fell.” Adam tugged at the leg of his still-wet Levi‟s. Ean grinned. “Now you‟ll smell like chocolate.” He licked the cut again before giving Adam back his hand. Funny, Adam noticed his skin didn‟t tingle when Ean touched him. But his chest sure did ache. Ean tipped his head close enough his lips brushed Adam‟s ear when he spoke. “You okay?” Ean‟s fingers petted his wrist, his arm, his shoulder. Adam nodded. “You sure?” Was he? Adam noticed a couple of people staring at them. Then the bells on the door jangled again, and Brian walked out. “It‟s the last two that they….” Brian stopped a few feet away. “Uh… I didn‟t know you were with someone.” Adam stood up. He had no idea why, but suddenly he needed to put some distance between himself and Ean. He waved a hand. “This is Ean. He‟s my friend.” Brian came close enough to pass off the drinks. Adam took them with muffled thanks and handed one to Ean, who was sitting on the bench with his head tilted. Ean‟s eyes went up and down

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over Brian as though he were trying to figure out the best place to bite him. Adam tossed a look between them. “Did you knock him down?” Ean stood up. He was taller than Brian, a lot taller. “Knock him down?” Brian‟s eyes went wide. “No, I just….” When Ean growled, Brian took a step back. “Ean!” Adam put a hand on his chest. “He didn‟t knock me down. He helped me when I cut my hand. Then he bought us new drinks.” His glare still on the other guy, Ean asked, “Why?” “Why what?” “Why did you buy new drinks if you didn‟t knock him down?” Both of Brian‟s eyebrows went up. “I don‟t know. I felt bad.” “But you didn‟t knock him down.” Ean made it a statement. He moved forward, and Brian stepped back. Adam got between them. “He doesn‟t understand.” Adam said it to Brian, but he wasn‟t so sure the guy heard him. His eyes were on Ean. “Ean.” Adam pushed him back. “Stop.” This was exactly why he wasn‟t supposed to be on the outside. “Ean!” Hazel eyes snapped back to Adam. “What?” “Take the drinks and the cookies and go wait for me at the Fringe.” Adam put his drink in Ean‟s free hand along with the package of Fig Newtons. Ean looked at the drinks, then Adam, then Brian, then back at Adam again. “Please.” Ean nodded, then licked him on the cheek. “I‟ll go wait. But hurry.” With one more deep growl, he loped off back around the store and across the alley. Brian said, “Why are you hanging around a Lesser-Bred?” Brian‟s tone made Adam look up. “Ean isn‟t Lesser-Bred. He‟s Human.” “And he acts like that?” Brian‟s mouth curled funny. Almost a smile but not quite. It made Adam feel cold. “I should go. Thanks for the drinks… I….”

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Brian grabbed Adam‟s hand and flipped it palm up as though he considered licking it. But he only put his thumb in the center and made small circles. “Will you come play basketball with us?” Adam watched him for a moment before answering. “I told you, I can‟t go to the other park.” “Then I‟ll come to yours. How about tomorrow?” “Tomorrow?” “Yeah, I can bring a couple of the guys, and we can have a real game. I‟ve got a new basketball I wanted to break in.” The hand holding Adam‟s tightened. “Your friend can come too. I don‟t mind.” Even though Brian‟s expression didn‟t change, Adam had the feeling the other boy didn‟t mean it. He didn‟t like Ean. At. All. “I‟ll think about it.” “Noon, tomorrow.” Adam pulled away. He hated to admit it, but he really wanted to stay and let Brian hold his hand. “I‟ll try….” “I can even get us lunch afterward.” Adam forced himself to turn and walk down the alley. Once he was around the corner, Adam took off in a jog across the street. On the other side of the coffee shop, Ean sat on the curb under a mimosa tree. He stood up. “What‟s wrong?” “Nothing.” Adam grabbed Ean‟s palm, licked it, then rubbed his hand over his face, his neck, his chest. “Adam?” “I‟m yours. Right? You‟ll keep me….” “Of course.” Ean put his hand on Adam‟s neck and made him stop. “Did the Chetrah say something to you?” Adam opened his mouth, then closed it. Brian hadn‟t said anything, not really. “He asked me to play ball with him.” Ean blinked and cocked his head. “And you don‟t want to?” “Yeah… I do.” “Then why are you upset?” “Because I shouldn‟t.” “Why not?”

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“Because you want to keep me, and I shouldn‟t like him… like….” Adam snapped his mouth shut and dropped his eyes on the patch of moss carpeting the hardpan clay between their feet. Ean‟s thumb stroked his windpipe. “If it makes you happy, I don‟t mind.” “I do.” Because it made him more than happy; it made him warm. “I don‟t understand,” Ean said. Thing was, neither did Adam.

TWICE more Adam woke up, and twice more Ean took care of him. But this last time when he broke out of sleep, it had nothing to do with the Flare. The echo of something loud crashed through his skull, and when he opened his eyes, everything was black. The dark. He was under the house; the taste of earth and mushrooms filled his lungs with every breath. Overhead the floorboards creaked as strange men moved through his home. Even through the walls of the foundation, Adam could hear his mother screaming in pain. ―Adam!‖ Just like before, Ean was with him, his strong arms pinning Adam to the ground, crushing the air out of him to keep him quiet, because if he screamed, his father would find their hiding place and kill them both. ―Adam… I‘ve got you… it‘s me… it‘s just me….‖ Adam sucked in a long, ragged breath. It wasn‘t the smell of dirt that filled his nose. It was the scent of sweat, clean sheets, and sex. He blinked, trying to see, and remained drowning in the blackness. The air reverberated with the sound of thunder. Two flashes of lightning let Adam catch a glimpse of his bedside table, the edge of the bed, the wall, the open door that led into the living room. He wasn‘t under the house—it wasn‘t that terrible night all those years ago, he was inside his room, and it was now. ―Lights….‖ Adam‘s entire body shuddered with the effort to speak.

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―Power‘s out… the storm….‖ God, Adam hated the noises he made. Whimpers and gasps— sounds of helplessness. Ean‘s arms tightened around his shoulders and his hips, pulling him close until Ean covered Adam with his body. ―It‘s okay. I‘ve got you.‖ It wasn‘t okay. The dark held bad things. Terrible things. People died in the dark. And that was where all the monsters lived, waiting to cut him up and kill his mother.

“RUN, baby. Don‟t look back….”

WHEN the thunder snapped again, Adam jumped. ―Shh.‖ Ean‘s hand slid down Adam‘s back, petting him. Outside, rain slapped the side of the house, rattling the glass in the windows. Metallic crashing followed a blast of violent wind that made the walls creak. By the sound of things, the garbage can had just taken a header and was rolling down the hill. Adam shut his eyes. Maybe with them closed, his mind wouldn‘t know the difference, but the cold seeds of true panic were already rooted deep and eating up his spine, threatening to destroy his sanity. Close to his ear, Ean said, ―I didn‘t want to leave you, but you wouldn‘t wake up. I tried to come back, but I was so tired. Batu came to find you. He said that the Chetrah took you away. He said you weren‘t moving, and he thought you were dead.‖ Tighter still, Adam was crushed against Ean‘s chest. ―It‘s why you‘re scared, isn‘t it? Because of the dark under the house. Because I left you.‖ It didn‘t seem possible, but Adam felt the pain in Ean‘s voice. He‘d hurt too. In a different way, but he‘d hurt, and the scars were as blatant as those left by the box cutter Adam‘s father had used. Adam‘s mind filled up with a vision of pent-up rage, flashed at him from behind a pair of hate-filled eyes. Sitting on the stand with his father staring him down had been the second most terrifying moment of Adam‘s life. Then came the outburst, and the promise.

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“I will kill you, boy. Do you hear me? I will not stop! Dirty, evil, tainted bastard that you are! You only think you can stop me! I‟m on a mission from God, Adam, nothing can hold me back. No prison will keep me from hunting you down!” Even after they‘d hauled him out of the room, Adam could hear him yelling. Feel him. Ean‘s lips brushed the corner of Adam‘s eye. ―I didn‘t mean to make you stay away.‖ Adam shook his head. ―No… you didn‘t. I told you. I couldn‘t come home, because of him.‖ The man that was determined to take away everything in his life just because of what Adam was going to be. There was nothing Ean could have done to change things. Adam knew that. ―But if I‘d been stronger, I could have kept you safe, and then you would‘ve never left. I‘m so sorry, Adam.‖ Ean‘s lips pressed against Adam‘s temple, and he made a noise, a sigh mixed with a soft moan. Not a sob, more like the sound that a broken heart might make. All the pain of being left behind and the guilt of not being able to come back home boiled out of Adam‘s body and ran in rivulets down his cheeks. Ean‘s arms held Adam together when the worst of the crying threatened to rip him apart. Like the storm, after a while it lost its momentum. The tears still flowed, but his body was finally purged of the violence. Ean‘s goatee brushed against Adam‘s cheek when he dipped his head low, close to his ear, and murmured something in Olde Tongue. His Human vocal cords weren‘t equipped to enunciate the words the way Kin did, but it was beautiful all the same. When Ean was quiet again, Adam asked, ―What did you say?‖ ―I made you a promise.‖ ―What kind of promise?‖ ―That I‘ll keep you safe.‖ Ean nuzzled his neck. ―I‘ve got you, Adam. And I‘ll never let you go. I‘ll never abandon you again.‖

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Chapter 11

ADAM plopped down on the bench, and Jamie tossed him a water from the Coleman. He held it to his forehead for a minute before popping the top and sucking half of it back. Brian sat down beside him. “Bad news.” Adam arched an eyebrow, sloshed the mouthful of water over his teeth, and swallowed. “What?” Brian tipped his bottle of Crystal Springs in the direction of the basketball court while simultaneously mopping his brow with his Tshirt. “I think we lost.” “Newsflash, Brian, we always lose.” They grinned at each other around their bottled water. On the other bench, Craige and Jamie rehashed their best moves. Adam listened for a minute. Jesus, the way they were going on, a person would think they were playing for the NBA or some crap. Brian‟s knee bumped against Adam‟s. “So, are you going to go?” Go? Oh, yeah, Brian‟s birthday party. “I don‟t know.” “C‟mon, Adam, it‟ll be great.” “My mom will never let me.” Brian rolled his eyes. “Our subdivision is less than three blocks outside the Fringe.” Adam shook his head. “Then don‟t tell her.” Adam looked at him then. “You can‟t be serious.” Not tell his mom? “Jesus, Adam, haven‟t you ever snuck out of the house?”

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Sure, lots, but never outside the Zone and never without Ean. He couldn‟t. It was dangerous for him. “She‟ll say no, and you know why.” Brian‟s gaze went from Adam‟s face to the scars on his stomach. “Damn.” He looked at his hands. “I‟m sorry… I didn‟t think.” “Don‟t worry about it.” “No, that was….” Brian shrugged. There was real hurt in his expression, real shame. Adam put his hand over Brian‟s and bumped their shoulders together. “I‟ll make a deal with you.” Chocolatecolored eyes came up. “I‟ll ask her.” “Seriously?” “Yeah. But don‟t be surprised if she says no. But if she says yes, I promise you, I‟ll be there.” From the other bench, Craige and Jamie laughed. When Adam looked, Craige tossed his chin in the direction of the pignut tree at the edge of the blacktop where Ean sat crouched in the shadows on the other side of the fence. Craige said, “Hey, Schroeder, looks like your boyfriend‟s back.” “Shit… what‟s he doing here?” And was that jealousy in Brian‟s tone? Adam was willing to bet his last buck twenty-five that it was. Craig cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “Hey, fucktard, haven‟t you ever heard of something called stalking?” Adam sat forward on the bench. “Jesus, Craige, leave him alone.” Brian said, “I thought you didn‟t hang out with him anymore?” Now why would any of them think that? Granted, Adam hadn‟t been hanging out with Ean as much as he used to, but he still saw him sometimes, mostly at night when Ean snuck in through Adam‟s window. But Adam had to admit, a lot of things had changed over the past few months. He had taken the braids out of his hair, not to mention he was wearing shoes. And Adam never used to wear shoes. Because Ean never wore them. Jamie and Craige laughed again. When Adam glanced back up, the way-too-tall redhead grinned.

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“So….” Craige leaned forward and waved his water bottle back and forth between them. “I‟m curious, does Tarzan over there still leave you love notes on your window or what?” Love notes? Adam looked at Brian. Now why would he go and tell them about that? At least Brian had the cajones to look embarrassed. Eyes still on Brian, Adam said, “They aren‟t love notes.” Jamie and Craige both snorted. “They aren‟t.” It was Jamie who spoke. “C‟mon. Little bits of rock, flowers, glass beads.” Adam made a face. “Ean can‟t read and write. That‟s how he tells me where and when to meet him. Flowers mean the bus stop. The rocks, depending on what kind, mean the creek or the park.” His explanation was drowned out by all the laughter. Craige and Jamie, Adam expected, but Brian? Yeah. That. Hurt. Adam stood up. “Hey….” “What?” Adam grabbed his shirt off the bench and shoved himself into it. “Don‟t leave.” Brian grabbed his hand, and Craige made kissing noises. “Shut up, Craige.” Yeah, now Brian was waving around a bunch of unhappy of his own. Adam pulled away and said, “I‟ve got to go.” “Adam….” This time Brian grabbed his arm. A little closer, and suddenly Adam didn‟t have enough air to breathe. Brian smiled at him in that small, private way he did sometimes when they were alone. The darkness of his eyes was incredibly warm. “You have to admit it‟s weird.” Adam blinked. “What?” “Leaving you things like that.” “It‟s not weird. It‟s just Ean.” Adam couldn‟t help but look across the blacktop. Even from here, he could feel Ean‟s gaze. Suddenly Adam wanted to strip off his shirt and shoes and go

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somewhere and let Ean braid his hair. He didn‟t want to be here. Not with Craige, Jamie… and maybe not even Brian. Craige waved a hand in Ean‟s direction. “Face it, Adam, your friend Tarzan‟s a freak.” “His name is Ean. And he‟s not a freak.” Adam pulled out of Brian‟s grip and turned to Craige. The redhead drained his bottled water, crushed the plastic, and tossed it on the ground. “Jesus, Adam, wake up and smell the wyrm fodder. Ean is the freak of freaks. For fuck‟s sake. He doin‟ the monsters!” Jamie burst out laughing, and Craige and he exchanged high fives. Adam‟s hands cranked up into fists. “You know what your problem is, Craige?” “What?” “You‟re jealous.” Craige barked a laugh. “Trust me, Adam, you‟ve got nothing I‟m envious of.” It was Adam‟s turn to smile. “Not of me, asshole.” He tossed a quick look in Ean‟s direction. Craige followed his gaze. “Excuse me?” “You heard me.” “Oh, yeah, right.” Craige tapped a finger on his chin and made a dramatic thinking sound. “Let me see. What could wyrm fodder over there possibly have for me to be jealous of? His garbage pail clothes? Nah, couldn‟t be that. Oh, wait, his rat‟s nest for hair that looks like it hasn‟t been brushed in the past ten years. Or maybe it‟s the fact that he eats out of the dumpster?” Jamie laughed. Brian started to, but when Adam shot him a look, he snapped his mouth shut. Craige waved his big hands. “Oh, no… wait… I know. It‟s the fact he‟s so Goddamned poor that he can‟t even afford shoes.” Craige stood up and shoved Adam back. He stumbled but didn‟t fall. “You know what, Adam. Fuck you. You don‟t know shit.” “I know Ean can kick your ass at one-on-one.” And that was so not the thing to say to a guy who‟d just received a full athletic scholarship for Tech.

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Now Craige really laughed. “Holy shit, bro. What the hell have you been smoking? ‟Cause you know what? I so want me some of that.” He sat back down on the bench and fished out another water from the cooler, popped the top, and tossed it back. Adam stuck out his chin. “Twenty bucks says Ean can beat you.” Craige‟s eyes came up. He was still grinning. “Yeah, and how the fuck are you gonna get twenty bucks?” “Fifty, then,” Adam said. Craige looked away. “Seventy-five.” Brian grabbed Adam‟s arm. “Jesus, Adam, what are you doing?” When Craige laughed again, Adam said, “A hundred.” That brought all the har-har to a stop. A hundred bucks was a lot of money. Maybe not so much for Craige because he‟d just gotten a Beemer for his eighteenth birthday, but it was for Adam. His only set of wheels was a beat-to-death Huffy bike. Craige‟s expression went serious. “You know what? You‟ve got yourself a bet.” He stood up, grabbed the Wilson, and tossed a hand in Ean‟s direction. “Go on, get your freak on a leash, and let‟s do this.” Adam shook off Brian‟s grip and headed across the blacktop to where Ean crouched.

THE air in the bathroom was dense with steam and perfumed like Irish Spring. Adam could barely keep his eyes open while Ean dried him off. ―I feel like shit.‖ Ean ran the towel over his foot. ―It‘s because you‘re getting close.‖ Yeah, Adam kind of figured that. ―Why am I so tired?‖ ―You‘ve burned up a lot of calories.‖ And Ean didn‘t have to elaborate on how. Parts of Adam‘s body still ached enough to remind him, but in a feel-good way, a way that made him want to do it all over again. Ean ran the terrycloth over Adam‘s legs one last time. He stood up and snagged a pair of jeans off the cockeyed sink and handed them over. They were the ones Adam had worn yesterday; the shirt Ean

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passed him was different. Adam didn‘t bother to remind Ean that he needed boxers. Adam stayed sitting on the toilet lid while Ean pulled on his blue jeans and nothing else. Ean said, ―I‘m going to go down the road to the pay phone and call Batu.‖ ―Then what?‖ ―I think you need to come back to the apartment with me.‖ Adam sighed and closed his eyes. ―Adam….‖ Ean was right in front of him now, and Adam hadn‘t even heard him move. ―What?‖ ―It‘s for the best.‖ The best. ―I‘m scared.‖ ―Don‘t be.‖ ―I can‘t help it.‖ Adam looked at Ean then. His hazel eyes were so bold, fierce. God, Adam wished he had half Ean‘s courage. Ean would never be afraid of going through a Shift. Hell, he‘d be out in the street celebrating. Once upon a time, the idea had held some sort of appeal for Adam too. That is, until he‘d met Jerry. The man‘s face had haunted Adam‘s nightmares for months afterward. Sometimes it still haunted him. Ean cupped his chin. ―Stop worrying. I told you a thousand times, I‘ll take care of you.‖ ―Ten thousand,‖ Adam corrected. Ean grinned. ―Ten thousand.‖ ―Maybe more.‖ ―Yeah, probably more.‖ Adam leaned forward and caught Ean‘s mouth. ―I‘m not very good at this,‖ Ean said against his lips. Adam nodded. ―Me either. That‘s why we‘re practicing.‖ He promptly swallowed whatever it was Ean said next. Ean‘s hands slipped into Adam‘s wet locks, gripping him tight, pulling him closer. He said something else, and Adam swallowed that too.

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―Phone….‖ Ean pulled away. ―I‘ve got to call Batu….‖ But he didn‘t want to. No, what Ean would rather be doing showed loud and clear on his face. ―I‘ll be back in an hour.‖ He opened the bathroom door and walked into the bedroom. Adam yanked on his jeans and followed. ―Why so long?‖ ―I‘m going to get you some food.‖ ―I‘ve got some.‖ ―You‘ve got junk. You need meat.‖ ―Then let me get you some money.‖ Adam went for his wallet on the bedside table. Ean stopped him. ―No. I‘ll pay for it.‖ ―But….‖ The look Ean shot him made Adam snap his mouth shut. ―Okay.‖ He scrubbed a hand through his hair and pushed back his bangs. Ean caught his hand. ―I‘ll hurry.‖ ―Then what?‖ ―We go to the apartment.‖ Adam almost told him to take his time. He didn‘t want to go. What he was thinking must have shown on his face, because Ean said, ―Adam, they can help tend to you.‖ ―I don‘t want them—‖ He stopped himself. Expecting Ean to do it for him was stupid. He was Human, and that meant he couldn‘t bring Adam over. Adam cleared his throat. ―Okay, so we go to the apartment. After that?‖ Ean shrugged. ―You stay there until it‘s time. Then Batu will feed you, and Kika and Hurath will help keep you warm.‖ Adam blinked; then he swayed. God, the Males…. He wasn‘t ready for this. When he turned, Ean caught his arm and forced him back around. ―I can‘t.‖ ―You have to. If you don‘t, you‘ll die.‖ And sometimes Adam had a hard time convincing himself that wouldn‘t be the best choice. ―Adam….‖ Ean stepped up to him, put a hand on his throat, and stroked his windpipe with his thumb.

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―I wish you could be the one….‖ Adam didn‘t really mean to say that out loud. He squeezed out a curse. ―Even if I belonged, I still couldn‘t bring you over.‖ Yeah, Adam knew that. He just didn‘t like it. ―Going to the apartment is the best thing. The closer you get, the more you‘ll need. And the Males will be able to sate you.‖ ―I know.‖ But knowledge didn‘t bank his fear. Adam swallowed. ―Will you stay?‖ ―Stay?‖ ―When it happens… will you stay when….‖ Ean‘s forehead touched Adam‘s. Now all he could see were Ean‘s eyes. Humans weren‘t supposed to have gazes this powerful, this commanding. ―I won‘t lie to you.‖ But then Ean never did. ―If you burn too hot, I won‘t be able to stay.‖ No, because it would kill him. The only way Ean could endure that much metaphysical power would be to belong. Adam‘s only choice was the Males. At least he knew them, and they weren‘t complete strangers. Adam sighed and took a step back. Without another word, Ean walked over to the window and crawled out.

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Chapter 12

AS ADAM headed across the blacktop, Ean stood up. Wearing a shirt and shoes and with his hair unbraided, Adam looked like he belonged here playing ball with those boys. Ean missed the braids, but even with his hair loose, Adam was still beautiful. Jet black locks, sun-kissed skin, freckles…. “Hey.” Adam stopped at the fence and put his elbows on the rail. It took everything for Ean not to reach out and pet him. Normally, Adam didn‟t mind being touched, but his new friends often laughed when Ean did things like that. Because Humans on the outside didn‟t pet each other, lick palms, or rub cheeks. “It‟s okay.” Adam held out his hand. “I don‟t mind.” Ean flicked a look over Adam‟s shoulder. The big, tall redhead was shooting hoops while the dark-skinned boy with all the dreads talked to Brian, who just so happened to be staring right at them. With his eyes still on Brian, Ean took Adam‟s hand and left a hot, wet line across his skin. No doubt about it, the other boy did not like what he was looking at—his gaze narrowed, and he turned away. Adam said something, but Ean missed it. “What?” “I wanted to know if you‟d help me out.” Of course he would. “Sure.” Adam jerked his chin in the direction of the court. “I made a bet with Craige.” “The redhead?” “Yeah.” “What kind of bet?”

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The smile on Adam‟s face wasn‟t a happy one. “A stupid bet.” He laughed a little. “You don‟t have to do it if you don‟t want to. I just thought….” “Tell me.” Adam took a breath. It was deep enough to make his shoulders rise up. “I bet him a hundred bucks you could beat him at one-on-one.” Ean raised an eyebrow. He didn‟t play the kind of games Adam liked. Mostly when they were together, they talked, fished, or practiced writing. When Ean did play games, it was with the Males. But from what he‟d seen, basketball was a lot like street ball, only the players didn‟t bleed as much and parts never got bitten off. “A hundred bucks?” Ean asked because it was a lot of money, especially for the Zone, especially for Adam. It was almost as much money as Batu made in a week making movies at Pink‟s. Ean was pretty sure if he brought home that kind of cash, the Male would be impressed. Adam laughed. “Are you going to tell me how stupid I am now?” Ean made a face. “You‟re never stupid.” With one hand planted on the railing, Ean hopped the fence. “Who am I going to play?” “Craige.” He gave the way-too-tall redhead a once-over. “Just him?” It was Adam‟s turn to raise his eyebrows. Ean said, “I could play his friend too. Double or nothing.” The look on Adam‟s face made Ean grin. “Are you serious? Two against one?” “Sure. A hundred for me, a hundred for you.” He petted Adam down his arm. When Ean looked back across the court, Brian was watching them again. The look on his face shouldn‟t have made Ean feel so good, but it did. Beside him, Adam shrugged. “I don‟t know. Craige is good, really good, and with Jamie….” Adam‟s eyes slid over to the goal post where the boys were cutting up now. Ean tipped his head closer. He wanted Adam to look at him, not Craige, not Jamie, and especially not Brian. “I‟m better.” That brought his gaze back. Ean smiled.

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After a long moment, Adam nodded. “Okay.” He even shrugged a little. “I guess the worst he can say is no, but I don‟t think he will.” No, he wouldn‟t. Ean was sure of that too. Craige was a lot like Kika, cocky, arrogant, pretending he was stronger and smarter than he actually was. Adam headed back across the court, and Ean followed. They stopped at the bench, and Craige walked up, spinning the ball on his finger. “So, I take it Tarzan wants to play.” Adam said, “Yeah. But under one condition.” Craige tossed up a hand and shook his head. “Oh, no, no conditions—” “He wants to play you and Jamie. Double or nothing.” Craige‟s dark gaze did some back-and-forth, then landed on Ean with all the subtlety of a ton of bricks. “Dude, are you retarded?” Ean considered showing Craige his teeth and growling, but that usually started a fight. At least it did with the Males. Instead he crossed his arms just like Adam was doing and asked, “What? Scared?” Yeah, that worked. Craige‟s face pulled tight, and his eyes went hot as he jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “C‟mon, Jamie, let‟s kick fucktard‟s ass. I wanna get home. I‟ve got a date with Shelly.” Ean started to follow the other two boys, but Brian got in his way. “What the hell do you think you‟re doing?” “I‟m going to kick Craige‟s and Jamie‟s asses at one-on-one.” Wasn‟t it obvious? Going by the look on Brian‟s face? Hell no. “Yeah, right. Do you even have any idea who Craige is? He‟s captain of the Varsity team, he was voted MVP, and on top of that, Tech is waving a full athletic scholarship in his face. And you think you can beat him?” Actually, yeah, Ean did. “Let me ask you something.” Brian stepped closer. “Have you ever even played basketball?” For whatever reason, that made Ean look at Adam. God of Man, his eyes were bright today, almost Kin bright. It made his insides warm and his crotch ache. “Well?”

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Ean shook his head. “No, but I‟ve watched you play here, and I‟ve watched it on the TV through the window at the Radio Shack.” Dribble, run, shoot, Christ, it couldn‟t be all that hard. After all, there were no claws or teeth to dodge. Brian threw up his hands and turned toward the court. Adam grabbed his arm. Adam said, “Where are you going?” “To call this off.” Brian looked at Ean when he said it. “No.” “He‟s never even played, Adam. You‟re going to lose two hundred bucks that I know you can‟t afford….” “It‟s my money.” “You don‟t have that kind of money.” “I‟ll win.” Ean said it as though it should settle the argument. The look that Brian shot him said anything but. Adam smiled. “I trust him. If Ean says he can win, he can win.” Hearing Adam say that made Ean pretty sure he could even kick Kika‟s ass. Hell, it even made him want to try. Brian opened his mouth to say something else, but Adam was already heading back to the bench. With one more angry glare, Brian joined him. Ean loped out across the court. When he got to the center line, Jamie tossed him the ball, and Ean promptly tossed it back. “It‟s two on one. Don‟t you want to start?” His ebony eyes gave Ean a once-over. Yeah, Ean knew that look. Jamie thought he was touched in the head too. But then again, Jamie could probably write his E‟s with absolutely no effort at all. Ean shook his head, and Craige said, “Fuckin‟ A, you are so screwed.” While they stayed at the center line, Ean stepped off to the side. No matter what Jamie, Craige, and Brian thought about him, there was a reason he wanted Jamie to play, and it had nothing to do with his own confidence and everything to do with Craige‟s arrogance. Ean had watched Craige enough to know he was a lot like the mid-ranked Males—all bravado, a lot of mouth, throwing their strength around, dominating anything weaker than them, and then trying to bluff their way with bigger, badder fish.

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Mid-ranked Males always had something to prove. And just like one of them, Craige would do anything to take the winning shot. So instead of using Jamie as a means to win, he would become a distraction. And that meant Ean could use the other guy against Craige. Ean crouched, resting his elbows on his knees. Putting this much distance between him and the goal was risky, but he needed the room to move. Craige dipped his chin at Jamie, who looked at Ean. The darkskinned boy tossed Craige the ball, stepped back, and called game. Eyes on the ball, Ean readied himself. As soon as the Wilson hit the blacktop, he shot forward. Craige made as though he were going to move to the left, but Ean wasn‟t fooled. He played with the Males enough that reading those subtle body signs was second nature to him. Even though Craige‟s feet went left, his hand shifted in the opposite direction. So that‟s where Ean aimed. Jamie tried to block, but Ean darted out of the way, shot between them, and stole the ball. As Ean dribbled it out, he turned. The expression on Craige‟s face was priceless. When Jamie went forward, the way-too-tall redhead did exactly as Ean anticipated and cut him off. Craige dove right for Ean. That‟s when Ean made his move. While Craige and Jamie got tangled up, Ean shot around them, heading right for the basket. He jumped and slammed it home. And just like Ean had seen on the Radio Shack TV, he made sure to swing from the rim. Ean dropped to the ground. His bare feet slapped against the blacktop hard enough to sting. From the bench, Adam whooped and pumped his fist in the air. Even Brian cheered. “Holy shit, did you see that!” Jamie laughed, much to Craige‟s obvious displeasure. The dark-skinned boy walked up and slapped Ean on the shoulder. “That was like total Air Jordan.” Ean didn‟t have a clue what he meant, but Adam‟s friends were always saying weird stuff. “I knew you could do it!” Adam bumped Ean‟s shoulder with his fist. Craige walked up, dribbling the ball. Well, actually he was more or less punching it into the asphalt, then stopping it with his big hand. “I want a rematch.”

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Adam laughed. “No! No way. Ean won fair and square. Now pay up.” He tossed his eyes back at Ean. “You should come play on our team. Maybe we wouldn‟t get our asses kicked so often.” Ean would rather have spent time alone with Adam. Maybe braid his hair or watch him do homework. But playing ball meant he‟d get to spend more time with him. He‟d have to ask Batu. The Male would probably say no, but…. Ean looked at Brian. “I‟d like that. Would you mind if I came and played with you?” The other boy smiled a little and gave some up and down with his shoulders. “Sure… why not.” Before Ean could say anything else, his head snapped back hard enough to make him stumble, and his world went white as a blast of pain exploded behind his eyes. He blinked, trying to figure out what had just happened while fighting the urge to pass out or throw up. As the humming and ringing in his brain backed off, he saw the basketball rolling away and heard the coarse laughter of Craige, Jamie, and Brian. Adam wasn‟t laughing. With his blue eyes peeled wide and his face pale, he looked surprised. Then he turned and yelled at Craige. Warm and wet covered Ean‟s lip; he touched his mouth, and his hand came away red. He didn‟t hear what Adam said only because he was too busy looking at all the blood he was leaking. And God of Man, there was a lot of blood. It was all over his chest, his chin, the ground. Fine, if that was how the redhead wanted to play! Ean curled his lip and growled. “Ean….” Adam got in front of him and put his hands on Ean‟s shoulders. “Don‟t.” Don‟t what? Kick his ass? ‟Cause Ean had no doubt if he could win against Craige at some stupid game, he could most definitely dominate him into submission. Ean tried to go forward again, but Adam pushed him back. “Stop, Ean… no. You know the rules.” Shit. The rules. Batu‟s rules. Specifically the ones that stated Ean was not to fight with those from the outside. Chetrah. People who would call the police. People like Craige.

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Craige slapped his hands against his cheek and, in a singsong voice, said, “Oh no, we mustn‟t break the rules.” Then he let loose with another howl. Adam yelled, “Craige, for Christ‟s sake, will you shut up! You‟re such a jerk!” Obviously, the redhead didn‟t care. And Ean wanted to make him care. He wanted to hurt Craige in ways he could never imagine. Damn Batu‟s rules, he was going to make the asshole wish he‟d never been born. And maybe he would have, if Adam hadn‟t looked at him then, afraid. Afraid of him. As much as Ean wanted to hurt Craige, he knew then the only one who‟d pay the price would be Adam. And no matter what the Chetrah like Craige did to him, Ean didn‟t want that. Even Batu‟s rage would be easier to bear. Even though it made him feel weak, made him ashamed, Ean did the only thing he could. He turned and ran away.

THE best place to get meat was in a small shop two streets over from the open market. It was the best place, not because the guy was cheap—which he was—but because he would barter. A chorus of bells clanged against the glass door when Ean pushed it open. Marty sat behind the counter smoking a fat cigar and watching TV. Blood covered the front of his brightly colored shirt and dingy apron, and there was a large hunk of raw flesh already on the cutting block. Ean walked up to the glass display. He couldn‘t read the labels, but he could guess what everything was based on the color of the meat, how much fat it had, and whether or not there was any fur sticking to it. Marty squeezed off a curse and stood up. Ean said, ―I can wait a little if you‘re busy.‖ TV. He never understood why people liked staring at it for hours. Sure, sometimes he watched it, but never for very long. There were far more interesting things to do in the alleys and green spaces. The only time Ean had ever stared at a screen for any length of time was when he was trying to learn how to kiss. But lots of people from the outside spent hours and

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hours sitting in front of those little boxes, watching movies, watching the news. By the look of things, that was what was on right now. Lots of words ticked across the screen, and pictures flashed, showing things that didn‘t interest Ean at all. Marty walked over. ―Naw, there‘s nothing important on. They keep interrupting the game with news updates.‖ He took out his cigar, held it between his thick fingers, and leaned on the counter. ―So whatcha need today, boy.‖ Boy. Ean didn‘t bother correcting Marty. He was not an egg anymore, and that meant he was not a boy. ―I don‘t have a lot to spend.‖ Ean dug around in his pocket and pulled out a ring, a watch, and a gold lighter. He‘d found them in a gutter a few days ago and never gotten the chance to take them into the pawn shop. Marty crammed his cigar back between his sausage lips while he fumbled with the jewelry, held it up, pinched it, turned it around. ―You want fresh or butchered?‖ Ean glanced across the room where a stack of chickens in wooden boxes stood against the wall. Besides that, a dog stared at him from the confines of its metal crate and wagged its tail. ―Better make it butchered. But no dog.‖ One of Marty‘s eyebrows went up. ―Since when did Batu get picky?‖ ―This isn‘t for Batu.‖ Marty frowned. ―Does Batu know you‘re eating raw meat again?‖ Ean sighed. ―It‘s not for me either.‖ Marty made a face. ―I swear, it‘s not for me.‖ Marty‘s watery brown stare made Ean squirm. ―C‘mon, Marty… I promise….‖ ―You eat raw meat and get sick, he‘ll kill me, you know that.‖ Yeah, Ean knew it. Everyone in the Zone, at least in this area, knew it. And they‘d all tattle on him to Batu if he ever went back on his promise. ―Marty….‖ ―I can give you five pounds of chunked beef.‖ Ean made a face. ―Is that all?‖

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―Or I can give you fifteen pounds of fresh dog. I‘ll even dress him out for you so he‘ll be easier to carry. And when you cook it, it will taste just like beef.‖ Ean looked at the dog. The last time Ean had tried to get Adam to eat dog, Adam hadn‘t been too happy about it. It might taste enough like beef when it was cooked, but Adam didn‘t need to eat it cooked. This close to his Shift, raw was better. Marty threw his thumb over his shoulder. ―I have some puppies in the back if you think he‘ll be too tough.‖ Yeah, and puppies were probably going to be even less popular. ―Give me the beef.‖ Marty gave a grunt, scooped up the jewelry, and made it disappear into the pocket of his smock. He went to the back, and Ean stared at the TV while he waited. There were Chetrah police now, along with men in suits. Marty walked back through, cleaver in hand, and paused long enough to grunt at the screen. ―They‘ve been screwing up my football game all day.‖ ―I‘m sorry.‖ Ean wasn‘t really, but sometimes saying sorry seemed to make people feel better. ―Yeah, well, me too. I have a hundred bucks on that game, and I can‘t even watch it.‖ Ean glanced at the TV. ―What happened?‖ He also didn‘t really care, but people asked things like that, too, even when they had no interest in getting the answer. Adam had always called it being social. Ean preferred the Males. They never said or asked anything unless there was a reason. Marty walked to the counter. ―Nothing important, I promise you, just some asshole got out of a transport bus on his way to a hole in the ground, killed four guards, and now the city has a stick up their ass. Do you want any bones? I can throw them in for free if you want.‖ ―Yes… wait… no. Adam won‘t eat bones.‖ The sound of the meat cleaver thumping against the cutting board punctuated Marty‘s curses. ―The city has it all wrong. We ain‘t got no laws here, and no one does stupid shit like that. People ‘round here know to keep their noses clean or wind up shot or eaten. That‘s the way

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it should be.‖ Marty stopped and stared at the TV. The cigar pinched between his teeth slid to the other side of his mouth. A trickle of gray ash rained down on his apron. He brushed it off with a sweep of his hand, then went back to work. ―Do you want me to leave the fat?‖ Ean blinked. Would Adam eat it? If not, he could cut it off when he got it back to his house. ―Yeah, leave it.‖ Marty wrapped up the chopped meat in a few sheets of newspaper and tossed it on the counter. His gaze was on the TV again. Ean picked up the package and checked the weight. Marty had given him more than five pounds, but then, the guy always was generous. The man grunted again. ―They should have thrown the SOB into the Dens and let the ferals eat him. Then the reporters wouldn‘t be screwing up my afternoon football all fucking day because the news people think I actually care.‖ Marty looked at him. ―We good?‖ Ean nodded. ―Yeah, we‘re good.‖ The old pay phone on the corner a block from Adam‘s house had definitely seen better days. After pulling off the honeysuckle that was in his way, Ean picked a quarter from behind the busted plate and popped it in. The phone clicked, and the quarter fell back through the hole in the front. He dialed the number to Batu‘s work and waited. The line picked up on the fourth ring. Through the buzz of static, a familiar voice said, ―Pink‘s, this is Stan.‖ Ean tipped his chin closer to the receiver. Hopefully Stan would be able to hear him. ―Hey, it‘s me, can I talk to Batu?‖ There was a pause, like maybe Stan was checking. Ean could hear loud music in the background. It sounded like ―Closer‖ by Nine Inch Nails, but Ean couldn‘t be too sure. Stan came back on the line and said, ―He‘s sort of busy right now. Boss man has him on a set.‖ And Ean knew that was Stan‘s way of saying that the Male was in a compromising position. But then again, all of Pink‘s movies were about compromising positions. Ean sighed. ―Do you know when he‘ll be done?‖ A laugh from Stan. ―Boss man has him with a duce. So that means this could take a while.‖ Fine. ―Can you ask him something for me, then?‖

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―If it‘s anything along the lines of him leaving early, you might as well save it. Pink has a deadline this week, and he‘s pushing all the girls to meet it. And since Batu‘s the main attraction….‖ In other words, no can do. ―Can you at least let him know that I‘m taking Adam back to the apartment?‖ There was a rustle of movement, then Stan hummed like he was thinking. ―Isn‘t he that pretty boy with the blue eyes you used to hang around with?‖ Ean did not like the sudden change in the tone of Stan‘s voice. ―Hey, you know, if he ever wants any camera time, just let me know. Pink would love to have him.‖ ―He‘s not interested.‖ Stan laughed. ―Well, my understanding is, he isn‘t going to have a lot of choice. He‘ll need a way to make a living, and big like your Male Batu is easy to come by. But guys like Adam aren‘t. There‘s a lot of demand for small and pretty.‖ ―Stan….‖ Ean capped the growl inching out of his throat. ―He‘s not interested, okay. Just drop it.‖ Please. ―Will you give Batu the message or not?‖ Stan said something that might have been a yes, but Ean couldn‘t be too sure. The line went dead, and Ean frowned at the receiver before dropping it back in the cradle. Batu had promised to help, and Ean knew he would make good on his word. If Stan delivered the message, the Male would get there as soon as he could, no matter what his boss said. Ean picked up his white plastic bag holding the package of stew meat and headed back up the busted-up sidewalk in the direction of Adam‘s house.

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Chapter 13

IT DIDN‟T surprise Adam that Craige laughed. It didn‟t even surprise him when Jamie joined in. But Brian? Adam hated to admit it, but everyone was right. His mother, Batu, Ean. He did not belong here with people like this. Adam turned and cut across the blacktop and out of the park. He knew Ean would head through the woods and take the footpath. But he wouldn‟t go home. Oh no, not looking like he did. Batu would have a fit if he saw Ean bloodied up. Then the big Male would want to hunt down and kill whoever had done it. Adam stepped through the gate and passed under the heavyleafed oak trees. Beneath the foliage, Brian closed in. “Wait a minute.” Adam didn‟t want to wait. He yanked away from Brian and kept going. “Adam….” “Piss off, Brian.” “I can‟t believe you‟re mad.” Adam turned around. Brian couldn‟t believe he was mad? What the hell? Brian‟s eyes went wide. “Jesus, you‟re seriously pissed.” “Wow, you‟re just now picking up on that?” “No, I mean….” Brian ran a hand through his short, spiky hair. “I‟ve never seen you pissed. You‟re seriously… pissed.” Adam didn‟t

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know what was worse, the fact that Brian was surprised or the fact that he had the nerve to make it a question. “What the hell do you expect me to be, Brian? Huh? Craige smashed Ean in the face with a basketball. All because he beat him at a stupid game of one-on-one. Worse than that, you laughed.” Adam turned to walk away. It was either walk or start hitting something. It didn‟t take very long for Brian to catch up again. “Why do you care?” Why. Did. He. Care. Adam stopped. Again. He was at the edge of the green space now, where the trees were thick and the shadows thicker. This far away from the courts, Craige and Jamie could no longer see them. Better yet, they couldn‟t hear them. Adam pegged Brian with a glare. “Ean‟s my friend, Brian. My very best friend.” They were close in ways Brian and his friends could never understand, ways Adam was only just starting to appreciate. Looking back on the past six months and where he‟d been spending most of his time, Adam couldn‟t help but be in awe that Ean still wanted to hang around him. Still wanted to keep him. “Adam….” Brian‟s hand closed around his wrist. “You don‟t need Ean. You‟re better than him. You can do better than him.” For whatever reason, that made Adam ask, “Why did you tell them?” Brian‟s eyebrows came together. “About the rocks and flowers he leaves on my window. Why did you tell them?” “I don‟t know.” Brian shrugged. “It‟s weird, that‟s all.” “You knew they would rag me about it.” “I didn‟t mean—” “You meant something, or else you wouldn‟t have told them.” Adam turned away and headed toward the green space. Halfway up the hill, Brian was at his heels. Brian said, “I‟m sorry.” “For what?” “For telling them?”

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“And for what else?” It was Brian‟s turn to stop. Adam went a couple more steps before he stopped too. God, why? Why did he have to like Brian so much? It didn‟t seem possible. Hell, it didn‟t even seem right. He was Ean‟s. Thinking about that made Adam want to run away deep into the Gray Zone, all the way to the heart of the Dens, and never come out. Never. “Don‟t be angry… please… Adam….” Brian closed the distance between them, picked up Adam‟s hand, and held it close to his heart. His thumb made circles against Adam‟s palm, and his fingers pushed their way between Adam‟s. And Adam let the other boy hold him like that for way too long. No matter how angry Adam was, he couldn‟t deny how nice it felt. “I only want the best for you.” When Adam shook his head, Brian‟s grip tightened. “Hear me out, okay. Just… just hear me out. You deserve better. You deserve the best.” Adam stepped up to Brian then, practically nose to nose. Brian‟s eyes widened. Adam said, “Ean is the best.” “No, he isn‟t. He‟s fodder, Adam.” “No!” When Adam yanked, Brian held him in place. “But he will be. He wants to be. Don‟t you get it? Craige‟s right. You said yourself that Ean wants to belong so he can feed the wyrms, and that means he‟s going to be fucking them too. Food. That‟s Ean‟s life goal. To. Be. Food.” Right then and there, Adam wanted to punch Brian. Truth or not, it was the way he said it, as though feeding was something dirty. Evil. “And you think that makes him less?” Part of Adam hoped Brian would look away and show a little bit of shame, but he didn‟t. “It does make him less.” “No….” “Yes. It makes him less, and you don‟t deserve less.” Adam almost told him then. It almost came out. I‟m going to be a monster, Brian. Because I‟m the bastard mixedbreed offspring of the wyrms. Instead he said, “Maybe I don‟t deserve better ‟cause according to my dad, I wasn‟t worth the air I breathed.” He pulled up the hem of his shirt and flashed his scars. Brian‟s face fell.

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“Jesus….” “So remember that the next time you think—” “Stop!” Brian cupped his face, pushed Adam back. Adam‟s shoulders smacked against a tree. “Just stop. What your dad did was shitty. And it doesn‟t even compare to this.” “Yes, it does.” And it did, only Adam couldn‟t tell him. He‟d promised. Sharing secrets like that was how people got killed. Brian shook his head. “No. It doesn‟t. So stop it.” He swallowed hard enough that his Adam‟s apple bobbed and his throat clicked. “Damn it. Don‟t you understand? I love you.” Hearing Brian say that left Adam with an odd sensation in his stomach. Not unpleasant—if a little bit scary. “And I want… I want us to be together. You and me. I want you to be with me.” With him. But Adam was already Ean‟s. Closer now, Adam could feel Brian‟s warm breath on his cheek and practically drown in his chocolate-colored gaze. Brian licked his lips, and Adam stared at his mouth. “Schroeder?” “Yeah?” “Have….” Brian swallowed again, and his hand trembled when it stroked Adam‟s cheek. “Have you ever… kissed a guy?” Adam‟s heart slammed against his chest, and his skin went all prickly. “No.” He tried to shake his head, but Brian‟s hand held his chin. The distance between them vanished, and soft lips pressed against Adam‟s mouth.

ADAM was in the middle of cleaning up the mess on the kitchen floor from last night when a knock sounded on the front door. Ean never knocked. Come to think of it, he never used the door. Adam peeked around the corner; through the plain white curtains hanging over the window, he saw a familiar shape. Brian.

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For about five seconds, Adam considered pretending he wasn‘t here, or better yet, climbing out the window and leaving, but instead he went across the sparsely furnished living room to the door. Remarkably, the damn thing didn‘t stick when he pulled to open it. Of all the luck. Brian tossed him a surprised look. As if maybe he hadn‘t expected Adam to open the door. Or perhaps because Adam didn‘t shut it as soon as he saw Brian‘s face. ―Hi….‖ Brian‘s hand came up, and he looked at it like the wave caught him off guard. It quickly disappeared into his back pocket. ―You okay?‖ Adam didn‘t know if Brian asked because of how he looked or if he was just trying to make small talk. ―Yeah, I‘m fine.‖ If only that were true. Adam‘s body ached, he felt cold, and his half-hard cock had been rubbing on the back of his zipper since Ean left. He could have probably solved the problem with some personal time, but after last night, he didn‘t want to. Being with Ean was way better. Adam sighed. ―Why are you here?‖ Brian‘s hand came out of his pocket to jab a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his car. ―I was close by, and I thought….‖ His gaze flicked away, then back. It lasted all of ten seconds before hitting the worn-out wooden planks between them. ―You weren‘t really close by, were you?‖ Brian smiled, and somehow it looked incredibly sad. ―No. I wanted to come by and check on you. After… yesterday. I‘m sorry, you know. About….‖ He scrubbed his face, then ruffled his hair. ―Can I come in?‖ Saying no was probably the best thing for both of them, but for whatever reason, Adam stepped back and out of the way. Brian seemed caught off guard by that too. His feet did some start and stop before he stepped inside. Adam headed back across the living room, and Brian followed. In the kitchen, Adam grabbed the plastic bag and resumed picking up all the empty cellophane wrappers. Luckily the hunger hadn‘t shown

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up that morning. Adam figured it was the sex. It seemed to satisfy him in ways eating couldn‘t. While part of Adam thought that should be strange, but it felt perfectly normal. Brian leaned against the doorway. ―What happened? Did you have a party?‖ His tone suggested he was making a joke. When Adam looked up, the grin trying to form on Brian‘s handsome face wilted. It occurred to Adam that maybe this was why he‘d invited Brian in. To let him see. He‘d lived in Atlanta long enough. Maybe with enough clues, he‘d put it all together. The fact he hadn‘t already figured it out kind of surprised him. Brian wasn‘t stupid. Everyone in the city knew the Gray Zone was home to the inhuman, and normal people never chose to live this close to the wyrms. Adam went back to picking up the trash, empty cans of Chef Boyardee, spam, vacant boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes. All the while Brian stood in the doorway and stared. ―Adam?‖ ―Yeah?‖ ―What happened?‖ Adam kept his face turned away and shook his head. ―Nothing happened.‖ The floor creaked, and Adam caught a blurry peripheral of Brian‘s gleaming white Nikes. A hand touched his shoulder, swept down his arm. ―Adam….‖ ―Don‘t.‖ The fierceness in his own voice shocked him as much as his will to pull away. Normally he wasn‘t that strong. ―Talk to me.‖ ―About what?‖ When Brian didn‘t reply, Adam lifted his eyes. It was a mistake. Like opening the front door and letting him in, looking at Brian made him weak. Brian said, ―Please don‘t push me away.‖ Adam would have backed up when Brian reached for him, only the fridge was against his back now. Brian‘s hand slipped along

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Adam‘s jaw, through his hair, cupped the back of his head. ―I can‘t stop thinking about you.‖ ―Yes, you can.‖ ―I‘ve tried for years. Trust me. After that day in the park… I never forgave myself. I didn‘t mean to hurt you. Not then, not yesterday, not now.‖ Brian leaned closer. Adam turned his face away. ―Think for a minute, okay?‖ ―I don‘t want to think.‖ ―Yeah… yeah, you do. About this, you definitely need to think.‖ It hurt not to look at Brian. But if he did, Adam knew he‘d let Brian kiss him, and he‘d be powerless to stop himself. ―I was raised here. My mother brought me here after my dad tried to kill me.‖ Brian‘s thumb swept across his cheek, and for a moment Adam forgot what he was going to say. ―Stop… just….‖ Brian‘s mouth touched his neck, and he sucked at Adam‘s pulse. Yeah, now he really couldn‘t get his brain to work. Too bad his dick didn‘t have the same problem. Against his skin, Brian asked, ―How close are you?‖ Adam almost didn‘t hear him. Brian‘s words were muffled against his skin, not to mention the pulse beating in his ears had to be as loud as last night‘s storm. ―Tell me, Adam.‖ Teeth, tongue, and lips. Adam snapped his head back when Brian went for his mouth, cracking his skull against the fridge. ―Stop! Brian… please… stop….‖ Those dark eyes came up at the same time as Brian‘s knee pushed between Adam‘s legs. ―You don‘t mean that.‖ As if to prove a point, Brian pressed his thigh against the bulge in Adam‘s pants. ―I do mean it. Please… stop.‖ ―I know, all right? I‘ve known for a long, long time.‖ Adam tried to pull out of Brian‘s grip, but Brian held on. ―Didn‘t you hear me?‖ Adam did hear him. That was the problem. Brian knew, and he wouldn‘t stop. Adam tried to slip away from him again, but Brian‘s arms came up, and he planted his hands on either side of Adam‘s head against the fridge.

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―Don‘t do this to me. Please. I meant it when I said I wanted us to be together. That hasn‘t changed. I never stopped being in love with you.‖ ―It won‘t work. Trust me.‖ ―How do you know?‖ ―Because good people don‘t rub elbows with the wyrms… or wyrm fodder.‖ That last bit was unfair, and Adam knew it. At least it made Brian pull his face out of Adam‘s neck. ―You should go.‖ ―I tried that already, yesterday, remember? It didn‘t work.‖ ―Then you need to try harder.‖ ―You want to be with me. I can see it in your eyes.‖ And his body. It didn‘t need to be said. Brian made it painfully obvious by pressing himself closer. Adam cursed himself for reacting, or more precisely, his body for reacting, getting hard, aching with the need to taste Brian, fuck him. Adam hated this—this being the loss of control and the destruction of his humanity. ―That‘s because you smell like food!‖ Adam didn‘t mean to yell. ―Don‘t you get it, Brian? I‘m not going to be Human much longer. The only thing I‘m going to care about is fucking and feeding!‖ ―Don‘t.‖ Brian pressed a hand over his mouth. Adam glared at him. ―I never would have said those things if I‘d known then. Understood then.‖ Adam pushed his hand away. ―Why? Because it‘s true? Or because you don‘t like the idea that you want to fuck one of the monsters?‖ Brian flinched. Really flinched. A full-body jerk like he‘d just absorbed a physical blow to the gut. He stepped back, and his dark eyes were made even darker by unshed tears. ―I just want to help you.‖ ―I don‘t need your help. Ean will take care of me. He‘s always taken care of me.‖ Even when he didn‘t deserve it, even when he was ungrateful. Right then and there, Adam swore to himself he‘d never be ungrateful for Ean again. Brian took another step back, and Adam could finally move. Only now, he barely had the strength to stand.

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Brian took something out of his pocket; it was small and fit in the palm of his hand. Adam saw it was a business card when he put it on the kitchen table. ―My phone number is on there.‖ Brian‘s hand lingered at the edge of the table, then the back of the chair. ―If you need me….‖ Brian turned away and walked out, leaving Adam to wish for a door between them so he wouldn‘t have to see him go.

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Chapter 14

“FUCK you, Kika, I won fair and square.” Ean made a lunge for the Rolex, but the Male stopped him with a hand to his chest. “Mine.” The claim came out on a pointy-toothed growl. “No, it‟s mine.” Ean did some pointing, specifically at the quarter with the hole punched in the center. Unlike its solid twin, it was flush with the wall. “You see that? My quarter is closer. That means I win. You lose.” Ean tried to go forward, but the Male held him, icy blue eyes flashing a warning from under a mane of unruly dark braids. Kika‟s growl became a hiss. “I don‟t like to lose.” “Yeah, well, neither do I.” Ean beat his fist against his chest, then made another grab. Kika rolled his lips, flashing tiger-sized fangs. Ean mimicked the Male, only his choppers were Human and not nearly as impressive. Ean tossed a look at Hurath perched on the short retaining wall separating the alley from the busted-up parking area to the apartment on the other side. “Do you think you could give me a little help here?” Hurath grinned, and his citrine eyes landed on Kika. “Give him the watch.” “It‟s mine.” “Ean won it. Give him the watch.” Kika growled and gave Ean a shove. The Male might still be stronger than Ean, but since Ean had hit that growth spurt last year, Kika was now shorter. Ean‟s boney frame promised some serious filling, but until then, he was left looking awkward. Unlike Adam. His best friend‟s lithe form was a lot slighter, smaller, perfect. Speaking of Adam… he would be here any minute.

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“What time is it?” Ean nodded at the watch in Kika‟s hand. When the Male turned it over so he could read the front, Ean‟s hand shot out and he snagged it. Thank you, God of Man, for long legs. Ean took off, vaulted the wall Hurath was perched on, and shot around the corner, right between two Humans doing a drug deal and two Kin squabbling over a dog carcass. Somewhere behind him, Kika roared, and his feet pounded against the pavement in hot pursuit. It was only a matter of time before the Male caught up. Dragons weren‟t bound by the laws of physics. That meant they were not only stronger but faster. But not always smarter. Laughing, Ean shot down the sidewalk, dodging a cart packed with fruit, another one with hotdogs, and some old man selling papers. Two broken-down cars on the curb gave him some cover and time to catch his breath. A quick peek around the bumper of the red Gremlin let Ean see the Male stalking down the sidewalk, nose in the air. It wouldn‟t be long before he picked up his scent. Probably the only reason Kika hadn‟t found him already was because the street market was packed full of people, Kin, Lesser-Breds, and food. A regular plethora of scents and sounds. Ean ducked out from behind the cars, cut up the alley, tromped through the puddles left by the previous night‟s rain, and circled back around another set of dumpsters. With the false scent trail made, he did another quick scan from around the corner. Still no sign of Kika, but the crowds were thicker on this side of the strip, and all the Male would have to do was duck down and disappear. Ean approached a pastry cart and fished out a couple of quarters. He bought a large sticky bun and stepped back into the doorway of a burned-out shop. Ean shoved the watch in his pocket. Watching the crowd, he proceeded to rub the pastry all over his chest, neck, face, and arms. It was an old trick, but it stayed on the books because it worked. By hiding his scent, as long as the Male didn‟t see him, he would become invisible.

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Ean scanned the ebb and flow of shoppers while he munched on the pastry. Just on the other side of the hotdog vendor, Kika appeared. Head up, mouth open. His tongue flicked over his lips, tasting the air. Grinning like a fool, Ean backtracked up the alley and, at the end, took a left toward the apartment. With any luck, the Male would follow the fake trail and go in circles for the next couple of hours. After all, Kika wasn‟t exactly the brightest crayon in the box. Ean came around the corner and hopped the wall, ass-planting it right beside Hurath. The Male grinned. “You smell like food.” “Sticky bun.” Ean held up the remaining half of the pastry. “You want the rest?” Hurath took the offering and shoved it into his mouth. His cheeks bulged while he chewed. Ean fished out the Rolex and held it up in the light. “How much do you think I can get for it at Lucky‟s?” The pawnshop near the wall always gave the best prices for shit like this. Maybe if it was enough, Ean could buy something nice for Adam. Make up for the fact they were never going to see that two hundred bucks from Craige. Hurath shrugged. “Depends on his mood, I guess. Sometimes he gives good green, sometimes he gives jack. It‟s a good watch. You should get something.” Hurath reached out and stroked two fingers across Ean‟s chest. “You‟re sticky.” “Yeah, I rubbed that… hey….” Ean laughed hard and loud when Hurath leaned in and swept his tongue across his neck, tasting him. “Stop that.” “You have the flavor.” “Okay… okay… you made your point.” Ean pushed Hurath‟s head away. The Male sat back on his heels and rumbled. Without really thinking about it, Ean reached out and petted the Male across the neck. Hurath leaned into the contact, and his deep purr kicked loud in his chest. Ean held the Rolex out to him. “Do you think you can take this to Lucky‟s for me? I‟d go, but I‟m supposed to meet with Adam.”

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“But not with the other Chetrah?” The Male touched Ean‟s nose when he said it, making him wince. Ean didn‟t need a mirror to know his face still looked like shit. He could feel it. Another reason to pawn the watch. He wanted to give some money to Batu to help cover his bill from the clinic. Batu hadn‟t said how much it had cost, but Ean was pretty sure it had been several weeks‟ pay. “No, we‟re staying here, or we‟ll go to his house.” It didn‟t seem like keeping Adam to himself should have felt so right, but it did. Beside him Hurath tipped his head, and his nostrils flared. Ean followed his gaze and saw Adam heading up the busted sidewalk. Ean‟s breath promptly caught in his throat, and he was pretty sure his heart stopped for a few seconds. “He smells good.” Hurath grinned. Smelled good, hell. He looked beautiful. Adam‟s shirt was off, his hair was back in braids, and bare feet flashed under the ragged cuffs of way-too-baggy Levi‟s hanging low enough that it was obvious he wore nothing underneath. Ean rubbed his chest as an ache between his pectorals fired up. A sensation that somehow eclipsed extreme hunger, thirst, and the desire to feed the Males all at once.

EAN stopped at the edge of the yard, and his keen eyes locked onto the strange white car sitting in the rocky driveway of Adam‘s house. He dropped lower, moved across the yard, and stopped under Adam‘s window. After he climbed in, Ean left the groceries at the foot of Adam‘s bed. Voices drew him to the doorway. He recognized Adam‘s instantly, but it took him a moment longer to place the deeper tone of that boy from the park, the one who‘d helped Adam back up the hill. Brian. But Brian wasn‘t a boy anymore. Like Ean, he‘d grown up, become a man. Through the gap in the door, Ean saw him. Brian wasn‘t as tall as Ean was, but where Ean was all limbs, Brian was stocky. The clothes he wore were pressed and perfect, and his white socks were

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stuck in whiter sneakers. Normally Ean didn‘t care about his clothes, but looking at Brian made him worry that Adam did. Thinking about Adam might think of Brian made Ean‘s pulse beat faster, and his mind skip and jump. He curled his fists, surprised by the sudden need to wrap his fingers around the other guy‘s throat and squeeze. Or better yet, roll him to the floor, bite him, humiliate him, shred his fancy clothes, and leave scars across that perfect caramel-colored skin so he‘d never forget! The urge to do those things made Ean tremble, sweat, and grind his teeth. Then he heard desperate breathing and the sound of kissing…. Looking was a mistake. Luckily, Ean couldn‘t see much—Brian‘s shoulder, a flash of Adam‘s alabaster skin. God of Man, he wanted to kill the bastard. The pain in Ean‘s chest threatened to explode, a sensation so intense it pumped his pulse like thunder through his ears. He couldn‘t even understand what they were saying anymore; all he heard was the rise and fall of voices. Part of Ean wanted to look and see if they were touching. Better yet, how they were touching. This strange new feeling confused Ean because normally he liked to watch. He watched Batu, Kika, Hurath—sometimes with each other, sometimes with other Males or Humans at the club. And they watched him. Sometimes they even shared. Like the Males, it gave him pleasure. So why did the idea of watching Adam with Brian make Ean feel like his insides were going to catch fire and his skin was about to burn to ash? If Adam wanted Brian, he should have him… right? Instinct told Ean this was something Human and, therefore, another example of how weak he really was. The front door shutting made Ean open his eyes. For a terrifying moment, he thought Adam had left, until he heard something thud against the floor and something else break. Angry cursing followed. Ean forced himself pick up the bag of groceries and walk calmly out of the room. He made it all the way into the kitchen by keeping his eyes on his bare, dirty feet. Ean maneuvered past a pot, a broken plate. He stopped and put the bag on the table. He couldn‘t help but wonder if Adam would see through him. Did he know Ean had a new weakness? As if he needed another one to add to the list. Ean already got sick, healed slowly, and cried.

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―I brought you something to eat.‖ Ean looked up…. And froze. Adam‘s cheeks were shiny with tears, and his face was flushed. Those blue, blue eyes of his flicked down, but the hunger reflected in them didn‘t linger on the bag. When his gaze came back up, it locked on Ean. The ache in Ean‘s chest erupted. Ean wasn‘t even aware of his legs moving, just that he was suddenly there, right in front of Adam, his hands around his body, their mouths smashed together. Fingers wound their way into Ean‘s unruly curls, locked onto his braids, pulled him tighter, closer. The growl that came out of Ean‘s chest as he thrust his tongue deep into Adam‘s mouth barely sounded Human. Against his mouth, between desperate gasps, Adam said, ―I‘m yours….‖ Yeah, his. No one else‘s. Not Batu‘s, not Kika‘s or Hurath‘s, and sure as hell not Brian‘s. Adam grunted when his back hit the sink; his legs came up and wrapped around Ean‘s waist. The delicious feel of their bodies rubbing together made Ean moan. Even though Ean could only taste Adam as a Human tastes, smell him as a Human smells, it did something to him. It made him feel indestructible and, at the same time, helpless. Ean petted Adam, across his ribs, down his back. He slid his hands inside the waistband of Adam‘s jeans and cupped his ass with enough force to leave bruises. Ean opened his mouth wider, taking Adam deeper, letting him explore his mouth, drink him down. Breathing became second to tasting. So warm. Adam was so warm. But it wasn‘t the inhuman heat brought on by a Flare. It struck Ean then that it wasn‘t the need driving Adam to do this. Right now nothing about him was dragon. So whatever made Adam so desperate for him was visceral, raw, and completely Human. Yet it felt equally as powerful as Kin. Adam said something that Ean missed. Not that it mattered. Ean didn‘t want to hear him talk. He was too busy listening to the

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symphony of sounds they made. The grunts, the moans, the small whines. Some of them were his, some of them were Adam‘s, but it didn‘t matter, because it was all music. All beautiful. ―Bedroom….‖ Ean blinked, trying to focus on Adam‘s face. His lips were swollen, his eyes dark. There were angry marks on his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. Bite marks. Ean didn‘t even remember making them. ―Ean….‖ Right. Bedroom. Adam shoved him back, grabbed his hand, and pulled him to the other room. All Ean could do was stare, captivated by the angry, feral look in Adam‘s face. Somehow it made him more real while at the same time it made everything else impossible to believe. Ean grunted when the backs of his knees hit the bed. He tried to stay standing, but Adam pushed him back and straddled his legs. ―I‘m yours.‖ Adam‘s hands worked fast, unbuttoning Ean‘s jeans, yanking down his fly. ―Just yours, only yours… you want to keep me, you will keep me.‖ Tears, hot and wet, slid down Adam‘s face, pelting Ean‘s skin like a warm July rain. When Ean tried to talk, Adam smashed his mouth against Ean‘s lips and swallowed down his words. Against him, over him, Ean swept his hands up Adam‘s back and fisted his hair. ―I want you….‖ Adam‘s hands wrapped around Ean‘s cock, stroking him, holding him painfully tight, and yet it only shoved him to the brink faster than he‘d ever known. ―I want you in me.‖ Ean‘s hands worked with incredible speed. Somehow he managed to get their jeans off and out of the way. In one quick movement, Ean turned, rolling Adam under him. He attacked his throat, his chest, nipping, biting, licking, sucking. Ean tried to go lower, but Adam sank his hands into Ean‘s braids and yanked his head up. ―Fuck me.‖ ―Let me use my mouth.‖ ―No… I want… I need to feel you… please….‖ ―You‘re not Flaring.‖ ―So?‖

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―I don‘t want to hurt you.‖ ―You won‘t.‖ ―I will.‖ Adam shook his head, and Ean put a hand on his cheek. ―Yes, I will. I don‘t have anything to slick you up with.‖ Adam blushed. ―You used… you know… spit before.‖ ―You were in the Flare. There wasn‘t much I could do that would hurt you.‖ ―Please.‖ God, those eyes, the tone of his voice. Ean couldn‘t tell him no. Willing himself into Kin would have been more likely. With a small nod, Ean slipped his fingers into his mouth, soaking them up, and then slid his hand between them. He found Adam‘s entrance. But when he penetrated, pain flicked across Adam‘s face. Ean said, ―It‘s not enough.‖ ―I don‘t care.‖ ―I do.‖ ―Please… please, Ean, I need this. I want it.‖ God of Man, did he ever. Adam was hard as steel, his erection biting into Ean‘s stomach, his hips coming up off the bed, offering himself. And Ean wanted Adam, too, but he didn‘t want to hurt him. No, Ean would chew out his own liver first. Ean shook his head. ―I don‘t have anything. I‘m sorry.‖ Adam grabbed a yellow bottle from the bedside table. ―I have lotion.‖ Ean started to ask him why, but with him being so close, the reasons were obvious. He was probably going through the stuff by the bucket. ―Adam, please, just let me use my mouth, my hands, I can….‖ Adam ignored him and filled Ean‘s palm with something cold, wet, and smelling like vanilla. God of Man, of all the flavors, why that one, his favorite. If Ean used this, he would never be able to eat ice cream again and not get a hard-on. ―Adam….‖ ―Do it.‖

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Ean closed his fingers around the glob of lotion. ―You‘ll tell me if I hurt you.‖ ―You won‘t.‖ Ean slicked his cock first only because he was afraid he‘d forget if he waited. With a trembling hand, he traced Adam‘s crack, stroked his entrance, greasing him up. With a gentle push, he penetrated, Adam‘s eyes widened, and he bit his lip. Ean worked him, watching his expression for the slightest hint of discomfort. ―More….‖ Adam‘s demand came out on a desperate cry. Another finger, and Adam rode against his hand, making those wonderful sounds deep in his chest. Ean licked Adam‘s throat, his cheek, his jaw, then swept his tongue across Adam‘s lips. Adam‘s hips came up while his hands pulled at Ean‘s body, trying to angle him closer, making it oh-so-obvious what he wanted. Ean removed his fingers, pulled Adam‘s legs up higher, and pressed the head of his cock at Adam‘s entrance. This time Ean went slowly, savoring the feel of Adam, the heat of his body encasing his cock, and the tightness threatening to milk him dry. Adam‘s hands dug into his shoulders, pulling, encouraging him to thrust. Ean rolled his hips forward. Part of him cringed at the highpitched cries and wanton sounds Adam made. Another part of Ean wanted it to be louder, needed it to be louder. If only Brian were there to hear it. Or maybe the whole goddamned world. Adam was his, no one else‘s, and nothing that ever happened would change that. Not his becoming, not the feeding…. Ean snapped his hips forward over and over. He wasn‘t going to last very long, and Ean did not want this to end. Ever. But it would end. Not just this, but everything. What if Adam died during his becoming? What if Batu didn‘t make Ean belong, and he grew old and faded away, got sick, or a feral killed him? Or worse than any of that. What if Adam wound up being kept by someone else who wouldn‘t share him or let them be together. In that moment, Ean understood real fear. The fear of losing this. Losing Adam. And eventually he would, because death was inevitable. Sometimes sooner than later.

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Ean buried his face in Adam‘s neck so he could hide his sobs with the sounds of sex. He wrapped a hand around Adam‘s cock and tried to find solace in the sounds of pleasure he coaxed out of him. Howling against his shoulder, body shaking, trembling, tightening around him, Adam came for him. The feel of that wet heat on Ean‘s hand, against his stomach, launched the bone-shredding orgasm that tore through his body, which was fueled by the knowledge that he was the one who reduced Adam to this state of needy helplessness and not the need. That kind of knowledge was almost enough to kill the fear that now infected Ean. Almost.

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Chapter 15

ADAM stared at Ean because he was acting strange. Come to think of it, he‟d been acting strange for the past couple of weeks. At first he‟d thought it was because of what happened in the park. But now that the bruises were gone, Adam wasn‟t so sure. Ean usually told Adam everything, and while they still talked, he was holding something back. Keeping a secret. “Ean?” Hazel eyes flicked from the quarter rolling over his knuckles to Adam‟s face. “Yeah?” With the same kind of dexterity, Ean made the twenty-five cents disappear into his pocket. “What‟s wrong?” “Nothing.” It didn‟t sound like a lie, but Adam could tell it wasn‟t exactly the truth. From his position on the dividing wall, Adam scooted a little closer. He put a hand on Ean‟s leg, then his arms. Those hazel eyes darkened, widened, and the color in his cheeks went bright red. Adam was pretty sure it was the first time he‟d seen his friend blush. “Are you mad at me?” Ean made a face. “Never.” Definitely the truth. Adam smiled. “Then talk to me. You‟re thinking about something. I can see it.” Ean‟s throat convulsed. His tongue slid over his lips, leaving them damp and shiny. “I….” He shook his head as if answering his own question. When Ean rubbed his chest, Adam caught his hand and held it.

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Adam said, “Please tell me what‟s wrong.” Ean shrugged. “I feel funny….” “Funny how?” When Ean looked down at his lap, Adam put a hand on his throat. This wasn‟t like him. Ean never looked away. He was never… submissive. Maybe he was sick? But as far as Adam knew, Ean was sticking to his promise and not eating out of the dumpster anymore. Ean said, “I can‟t explain it.” “Try.” Ean opened his mouth, then promptly closed it. He shook his head. “I think things.” “What kind of things?” Ean‟s only answer was a one-shoulder shrug. “Things… I….” His eyebrows came together, and his mouth made a slash. Then the lines above his eyes went up again. “I could show you.” The fierceness was back in Ean‟s gaze. So was the smile on his face. “Can I?” “What?” “Show you.” Adam changed his mind. It wasn‟t fierceness he saw in Ean. It was something far more powerful. He just didn‟t have any idea what it was. Adam nodded. “Okay. Show me.” Ean took Adam‟s hand, and they hopped off the wall. Down the alley behind his apartment, Ean took a path through a hole in a burned-out building at the end. When they came out, they cut across a small broken-up street and down beside a stretch of buildings crumbling with age. He took a left, and they were suddenly in an alley. At the end of a narrow passageway between two warehouses, Ean took a right. At first Adam thought Ean was taking him into the street market, but then Ean took another abrupt left. With the Wall in front of them and the warehouses and apartments on either side, the noon sun lost its potency. Adam noticed that they were awfully close to the Dens here. Dangerously close. Ferals weren‟t supposed to go outside the barrier, but everyone knew they did. And the young ones were always hungry. And Humans made easy meals.

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With that on his mind, Adam asked, “Where are we going?” Ean glanced back, but he didn‟t answer until they were right outside the Wall near the strip of cardboard houses and lean-tos where a few very brave homeless had carved out a niche. “I want to show you.” It was all Ean said when he looked at the narrow brick building in front of them. There were a few Lesser-Breds out by the entrance. Some of them had marks on their faces, others looked completely Human. “Where are we?” If Ean heard him, he chose to ignore the question because all he said was, “This way.” Adam let himself be pulled down an alleyway. It was near a large metal grate that Ean stopped. He shoved it aside and exposed a wide ventilation shaft. He looked at Adam and said, “Sometimes Batu comes here to this building.” “For what?” “To feed on the Lesser-Breds.” “I thought Kika and Hurath fed him?” “They do, but sometimes they have to feed each other, and then they can‟t feed him too. He‟s strong, he takes a lot. Sometimes it takes more than two of them to sate him. When I belong to Batu, he won‟t have to come here anymore.” Ean put a hand on the edge of the opening and lifted a leg to climb in. Adam stopped him with a hand on his arm. Adam said, “What are you going to show me?” The blush was back, only not quite as dark. Ean swallowed, once, twice. Then he said, “Those feelings.” “The ones that make you feel funny?” Ean nodded. “Yeah, those. They make me think things.” And he said “things” as if it were something dark, something maybe even a little bit scary. Adam tipped his head closer. Ean‟s eyes were absolutely black. He licked his lips, and Adam found himself wishing Ean knew how to kiss. Something told him it would be nothing like Brian. But then nothing about Ean was like Brian.

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Adam said, “What kind of things do you think about, Ean?” “I don‟t have the words. I have to show you.” Adam slid his gaze over to the ventilation shaft. “In there?” “Yeah.” “How will that show me?” “We can see them.” “Who?” “The Males.” Ean leaned close enough that his words were a warm breath against Adam‟s ear. “I watch them, and sometimes I dream about the things they do.” Turning his head put Adam‟s lips close enough to Ean‟s that when he exhaled, Adam could taste him. “And that makes you feel funny?” “Yeah….” “Good or bad?” Ean grinned. “Good. Really good.” “Okay.” Adam stepped back and waved a hand at the hole. “Show me.”

ADAM barely remembered the walk to the apartment building because somewhere between his house and the burned-out building, the fever hit. It began as ice in the soles of his feet, moved up the backs of his legs, and eventually gripped his spine. The meat Adam had stuffed himself with before he left now felt like a black-hole void in his gut. By the time Ean got Adam to the front door of his apartment, Adam could barely stand and was sweating like a pig. His head hurt. His cock hurt. His stomach hurt. And every muscle in his body felt like it was trying to rip off his bones and run away. They made it up the stairs and down the hall. Ean opened the apartment door and helped Adam to the beat-up sofa. Adam sank into the threadbare cushions and instantly became soaked in a plethora of

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scents—dark, burnt chocolate-coffee, the Males, and Ean‘s sweet peaches and cream flavor. Ean said, ―I‘m going to go call Batu again.‖ Adam‘s hands locked on Ean‘s arm. ―Don‘t leave me.‖ Ean petted Adam‘s head, his shoulder, and his arm. ―I‘m just going next door to Jerry‘s. He has a cell phone. I‘ll be right down the hall.‖ ―Please, Ean….‖ ―I‘ll be back in just a few minutes.‖ Adam held him for a moment longer, then let him go. ―Okay.‖ Ean licked his cheek. Adam blinked, and he was gone. With a groan he rolled over, shoving his face into the cushions. The ratty sofa felt like burlap against his skin, and the thin cushions did nothing to keep the springs from poking into his hip. If that wasn‘t bad enough, suddenly Adam‘s jeans were too tight. Now he was burning up. Adam unbuttoned his Levi‘s, kicked them off, and tried to pretend that the erection he was sporting didn‘t exist. Cold, now he was cold. Adam reached for his jeans and couldn‘t find them. And now he was hungry… so fucking hungry. Adam rolled over and sat up. How long had Ean been gone? He stared at the clock on the wall, trying to decipher the time, but the frozen second hand promised it was never going to be later than twelve. It had been broken the last time he was here. And it stayed broken because Ean had no use for things like that. Sitting on the sofa was probably the smart thing to do, but Adam‘s stomach refused to give up. He stood up, and his legs surprised him by not giving out. With a few shaky steps, Adam made it to the kitchen table. Well, sort of a kitchen table. It was actually a picnic table with a bench and several plastic lawn chairs. One of them had a leg wrapped with duct tape. It was an oddly familiar sight, one which seemed right at home considering all the other odds and ends of furniture in the place.

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A few more steps, and Adam was in the kitchen. He opened the cabinets, trying to find something to eat, but they were empty. And that didn‘t make any sense. Batu wouldn‘t have ever allowed Ean to go without food. He glanced at the fridge. White and round, it made Adam think of space shuttles and alien pod ships. It didn‘t seem possible that anyone could own a fridge older and uglier than the one at his house. Adam‘s half-fried brain made a momentary connection, and he remembered that the last time he‘d been in here, the fridge hadn‘t worked even though it was where Ean kept all his food. Because of the rats. In there, they couldn‘t chew into the boxes and cans and ruin it. Adam grabbed the handle and yanked open the door. No light came on to greet him. The cans of Spam sitting on the top shelf, however, were a welcome sight. Adam grabbed a few and headed back to the table. He didn‘t make it. Halfway there, he spilled onto the floor, his body racked with shivers. It took a few tries, but he managed to get his trembling fingers around the tab of one of the cans of Spam and popped the top. Adam dropped the lid and frantically dug out the contents. He ate without tasting, shoveling his mouth full until he was practically choking in a desperate attempt to sate the hunger that threatened to blind his cognitive mind and short everything out. The first can was consumed, the second, then the third. When it was empty, Adam scrambled back to the fridge in search of more. He grabbed boxes of cookies, cellophane-wrapped cakes, a can of soup which he drank, getting more up his nose than in his mouth. In the back, he found several more cans of potted meat. It wasn‘t enough. Adam needed flesh, he needed blood. The urgency was so great that he bit his arms and clawed his stomach. He needed chelae or something equally sharp. Something to cut himself open, to eat the softest parts…. But then he‘d die, and death wasn‘t acceptable, although in that moment, Adam almost wished for it. He opened the fridge again only to find that he‘d eaten everything and barely remembered it. With nothing edible left, Adam tore at the empty cardboard scattered on the ground, chewed it, swallowed, choked, and spit it back up.

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God, where was Ean… he was taking too long. He could ease him. Feed him. ―No!‖ Adam screamed out loud to the empty apartment. Maybe he thought hearing his own voice would remind him he was still Human and would always be part Human, or maybe he thought it would make his fledgling Kin instincts listen. But unlike his Human parts, the Kin in him didn‘t care about what he felt for Ean. It just wanted to be fed, demanded to be fed. Hunger meant dying, and living was everything. Peaches, he smelled peaches…. ―Adam….‖ No! Not now, please not now. Adam didn‘t even hear the front door open. And now Ean was in front of him, right next to him. Adam could taste him on the current of air he brought with him across the apartment. He heard Ean chuckle as he knelt down. When Ean touched him, Adam jerked away, slamming his shoulder into the cabinet door hard enough to crack it. ―Stay away!‖ Adam held up his hands and kept his eyes shut. Looking at Ean would undo him; he was sure he‘d lunge and rip out his throat. ―It‘s okay.‖ ―No, it isn‘t… this is the worst… it hurts… God… it hurts.‖ Adam doubled over, buried his face between his knees, and willed his body to stop humming. Hands touched him, petting him down his back, his ribs…. Ean said, ―Relax….‖ ―I can‘t….‖ ―Don‘t fight it.‖ ―I don‘t want to hurt you.‖ ―You won‘t.‖ ―I will! I will! I can feel it!‖ Hands wrapped around Adam‘s arms, pulled him to his feet, pulled him close…. For God‘s sake, he was just inches from Ean‘s neck. ―Don‘t.‖ ―Let me get you in the tub. The hot water will help.‖

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Adam‘s protest was swallowed up by the wailing sound he made. It didn‘t sound Human. ―Does your jaw hurt yet?‖ Adam almost missed the question. The hunger was making it hard to think, hard to do anything, especially walk, which Ean was forcing him to do at the moment. One foot in front of the other; it seemed an impossible task. Cold tile hit the bottoms of Adam‘s feet, and he hissed. ―Easy.‖ ―Cold….‖ ―I know… just a few more steps.‖ ―Heat….‖ ―I know, Adam, just… hang on, okay… just another minute.‖ There was a squeak and the knock and bump of air through the pipes. Water burst out of the showerhead and was steaming hot in seconds. It didn‘t seem right that Ean‘s fridge didn‘t work but the hot water did. But from what Adam remembered, Hurath was good at fixing the boilers. Ean set him down on the edge of the tub, moved one leg at a time over the edge, and then lowered him down. Adam moaned as the steaming water assaulted his skin, pummeling away the knots and the pain. It was like the invisible fist squeezing the life out of him opened up, and he could breathe again. Adam sighed and melted against the cast iron tub, relishing the burn of scalding water while his body relaxed and the last of the hunger cramps slipped away. A hand petted Adam across the cheek, neck, shoulder. He opened up his eyes to see Ean watching him over the edge of the tub. Adam remembered he‘d never answered Ean‘s question. ―No.‖ Ean‘s mouth curled. ―No?‖ ―My jaw, it doesn‘t hurt.‖ ―I think you‘re just Flaring again.‖ ―It feels different.‖ ―You‘re getting close.‖ Adam didn‘t want to ask, but he did anyhow. ―Is Batu coming?‖

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The smile on Ean‘s face fell a little. ―Yeah, he‘s on his way.‖ Adam couldn‘t help but think Ean almost sounded disappointed. Maybe he didn‘t want the Male to help him anymore. There was no logical reason for Adam to think that, except for the sad expression on Ean‘s face, the darkness in his eyes. Yet his touch, so gentle and calming, said anything but. Adam asked, ―Will you hold me?‖ Ean‘s fingers wiggled through the spray. ―Water‘s a little hot, I think.‖ Adam noticed that the skin on Ean‘s arm was already lobster red. Human, he reminded himself. Ean was Human, and the water would burn him. But then Ean stood up and shucked off his jeans. ―I thought you said it was too hot.‖ One leg over the edge of the tub, and Ean winced and his eyes went tight. ―I‘ll… go….‖ Another leg in, and Ean eased his back under the spray. ―Slow.‖ Ean sat down next to Adam; his long legs ate up most of the available room. The tub sure as hell had seemed a lot bigger when they were younger. ―Sorry, kinda crowded.‖ Ean laughed. ―It didn‘t seem that small till you got in here.‖ Adam managed to smile. He let Ean pull him against his chest and hold him cradled between his knees. ―I think that‘s my fault. I got a lot taller.‖ True. But Adam wasn‘t going to complain. Next to his ear, Ean asked, ―Better?‖ Was he? Adam realized he could no longer smell Ean beyond his normal scent of Human sweat and wet skin years soaked in the scent of Male Kin. ―Yeah… it stopped.‖ ―Good.‖ Ean‘s fingers played over Adam‘s hair, across his neck, his shoulder. ―You should sleep.‖ ―In the tub?‖ ―I‘ve got you. I won‘t let you drown.‖ Adam couldn‘t deny how tired he was. Incredibly tired. Now that the Flare had banked, he was left sapped of strength. He could feel the deep, dark sleep coming for him, and like the hunger, Adam was

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powerless to resist it. Adam dropped his head against Ean‘s shoulder, wrapped an arm around his waist, and for the first time, he didn‘t fight the biological changes happening to him. Right before the darkness sucked Adam under, he was able to say, ―I love you, Ean….‖ And for a fleeting second, he thought he heard Ean say something back, but it was lost to the merciless hand of unconsciousness.

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Chapter 16

EAN crawled into the air duct first. It was barely wide enough for Adam to join him, but they managed. Unfortunately, the close confines did not help the butterflies in Ean‟s stomach. Hopefully, showing Adam would explain everything because Ean had no idea how else to tell him about the strange sensations invading his body, making him hot and cold at the same time. Not only that, but how did he tell Adam about the dreams he was having, dreams about the Males and the things they did, only they weren‟t always the Males in the dreams—sometimes they were of him. And Adam. Thinking those thoughts made Ean feel guilty and, at the same time, desperate. It made him want to be closer to Adam and further apart. It made him want to do things… things that he wasn‟t so sure Adam would want done. Things that he did to himself in the dark. Things that made him cry out, feel pleasure, and leave wet stains on the sheets and fluids on his legs. Adam‟s hand pressed against his. “Are you sure you know where you‟re going?” This close, Ean could feel every line of Adam‟s body from shoulder to toe. “Yeah, I‟ve been in here lots of times.” Because Batu wouldn‟t let Ean feed him and he wouldn‟t let him watch. Not ready was what the Male would tell him. So until then, until Ean was ready, this was the closest he could get to giving the Male those parts of himself.

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A drop of sweat cut a path across Adam‟s forehead, down his nose, where it dripped and landed on Ean‟s chest. “Why is it so hot in here?” “‟Cause we‟re blocking the air flow.” And there were other reasons. Ean just chose to ignore those for now. Yeah, too close, they were way too close. Blue eyes watched him, oblivious to the things churning through his head. Ean looked away. “We need to keep moving,” Ean let Adam go first, and he followed close behind. Their bodies slid along the inside of the shaft, making their skin black with dust. When Adam reached an intersection, Ean pointed to the right; he also put his finger over his lips. Adam nodded and eased ahead, slow, painfully slow. The duct narrowed. Up ahead, light filtered in through the metal grate, cutting a crisscross pattern on Adam‟s cheeks. Sounds… strange, thick, and wet, echoed from the room on the other side. Ean knew what those noises were and what they meant, and what the Males were doing, but the look on Adam‟s face said loud and clear he was confused, maybe even a little afraid. His blue, blue eyes practically glowed when he turned to look at Ean. “What‟s going on?” “You need to look.” After all, if Ean could explain it, they wouldn‟t be here. Adam‟s whisper dropped even lower. “Tell me.” His hand touched Ean‟s chest, making Ean‟s heart skip a beat and his skin go hot. Ean said, “Things….” “What kind of things?” Ean swallowed and suddenly wished they were anywhere but here. It was too close, and it left him feeling weak. “Ean? What kind of things?” A high, desperate cry shot out from beyond the grate, and Adam‟s head whipped to the side.

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Closer now, Ean could smell the soap Adam had washed his hair with and the bitter musk of sweat. Next to Adam‟s ear, he said, “Just look.” Adam‟s braids ticked when he shook his head. “Please.” “Is it bad?” Adam looked at him again. Ean moved his hips away. He didn‟t want Adam to know what being here was doing to him. “No, not bad.” “But it sounds like someone is being hurt.” “No, it just feels good. Really good.” Another cry, this one almost a scream; a growl followed, and Adam inched back. “It doesn‟t sound like it feels good.” “Trust me.” Ean rolled onto his stomach and pulled himself closer to the vent. He didn‟t have to look to know the bare mattress was right below the vent. Ean wouldn‟t be able to see their faces, but he‟d see their thrusting bodies, he‟d hear the thick sounds as the Male tore flesh from the Lesser-Bred he was using, hear him cry out, see him grip himself, see him…. A warm line slid up beside Ean, and suddenly, watching the action below wasn‟t nearly as interesting as staring at Adam‟s expression. His profile was perfect, his wide eyes dark pools. Confusion was the mask Adam wore at first; then his features opened, his eyes went wide. A deep flush bloomed across Adam‟s cheeks. His eyes shut once, twice. Not so much blinking as perhaps savoring the sight before his eyes, shutting them to make sure it was burned into his mind. Adam licked his lips. “Ean….” “Yeah….” “Why are you showing me this?” “Because I don‟t know how to kiss.”

EAN woke up to the sound of voices. Deep, musical voices which promised a range and pitch of sound no Human was capable of. Batu was home, and by the sound of things, Kika and Hurath were with him. What time was it, anyhow? The one unboarded window still leaked bright light. It was afternoon at the latest.

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They hadn‘t been asleep long, but it was rest that Ean needed. And in spite of the nap, he still felt the fatigue of tending to Adam last night. If he‘d been a Male or even Lesser-Bred, Ean would‘ve been far more suited to taking care of him. Ean refused to think about his shortcomings—his Humanness. Especially right now. Next to him, Adam moved, his lips parted, and a sigh blew across Ean‘s cheek. Lower parts of Adam dug into his hip. Ean smiled and petted Adam across the shoulder, the chest. Ean‘s hand slid under the sheet and wrapped around Adam‘s cock. With a gentle stroke, he coaxed another sigh out of Adam‘s chest. More made his hips thrust in a lazy roll. Adam opened his eyes. ―What are you doing?‖ Then he smiled, and it was so perfect. ―Taking care of you.‖ Ean slid his thumb over the blunt end, smearing fluids and making Adam‘s eyelids flutter. His head fell forward and landed on Ean‘s shoulder. Ean flicked out his tongue, and he sucked at the skin near Adam‘s pulse. ―W-why does it feel so good when you do it?‖ Another thrust of his hips, and this time a small sound. ―Because you‘re close.‖ The look Adam gave him suggested he was close in more ways than one. Ean chuckled. ―It‘s not funny.‖ ―No… it‘s not.‖ And yet Ean still grinned hard enough to make his cheeks ache. The scowl on Adam‘s face lasted until Ean found a rhythm and began pumping him in earnest. God of Man, how Ean loved this sense of strength, this ability to make Adam feel pleasure, to reduce him to a whimpering pool of need. A few more involuntary hip rolls, and Adam came for him, biting his lip, keening high and loud, spilling warmth and wetness over his hands. Ean collected it on his fingers and smeared it across his stomach, his legs, his groin. Wearing Adam‘s scent would advertise their bond. Human. I‟m Human, and I can‟t keep or own.

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Thinking about that made Ean scrub harder. If he could have, Ean would have burned Adam‘s scent into his skin. When he belonged and fed Adam, he‘d smell like him. Only that was never going to happen because Batu did not want to keep Adam. A choice that was the Male‘s to make, just like it was Ean‘s choice to belong. A choice that was also his to change. Ean couldn‘t believe that he was even thinking something like that. ―What‘s wrong?‖ Ean looked at Adam. ―Nothing.‖ ―You‘re frowning.‖ ―I‘m just… thinking.‖ Adam touched his cheek. ―About what?‖ Everything. Nothing. ―I need to tell you something.‖ ―Okay….‖ Ean took a breath. ―You‘re mine.‖ He made it a statement, and Adam smiled. It was nice but not what he was going for. Ean scrunched up his face and tried to think of a way to make him understand, to tell Adam without making him afraid. Tell him so he‘d know everything would be all right. That Ean would make it all right. ―Ean?‖ Another breath. ―I‘m going to keep you.‖ Blue, blue eyes made it impossible for Ean to think. Truth be told, he didn‘t want to think. Not about the choice he might be forced to make. Not about the sacrifice of the things he knew. If Batu wouldn‘t keep Adam, Ean had to find a Male who would. And if Adam and he wanted to stay together, it meant Ean would have to belong to the same Male. Before Ean could try again, the bedroom door swung open so fast it slammed against the wall, cracking it. Adam grabbed the sheet and yanked it over them. Kika stepped through the doorway, his head up, nostrils flaring, teeth down, icy blue eyes flecked with gold. His perfectly made hand ran across his stomach, kneading the flawless muscles carving out his abs. Inhuman perfection. Inhuman beauty. Like most Males, he didn‘t have body hair or a bellybutton.

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Kika‘s eyes raked both of them up and down and scales fluttered along his shoulders before disappearing back under his skin. ―Come, eat. Batu has food.‖ ―Fine, we‘ll be there in a minute.‖ When the Male didn‘t move, Ean said, ―You can leave now.‖ Kika‘s eyes flicked back and forth, and when he tipped his head, his tongue flicked over way-too-sharp teeth. ―I want to watch.‖ Adam‘s eyes went wide, and Ean said, ―No, Kika, now leave.‖ The Male thrummed and took a step closer. ―I just want to watch… to taste….‖ Adam pulled the sheet higher, trying to keep their bodies hidden. Too bad Ean didn‘t give a shit about things like that. He rolled off the mattress and stomped across the room as naked as the day Batu found him behind a dumpster when he was still an egg. Ejaculate drying on his body, half-hard and completely pissed, Ean bared his teeth and jabbed a hand at the doorway. ―I said, get out!‖ ―He‘s close.‖ The Male came forward. In spite of his slighter frame, Kika moved on a wave of strength and preternatural power no Human could ever possess. Ean bowed his shoulders, rolled up his lips, curled his hands into claws. He knew he didn‘t stand a chance against Kika, but knowing wouldn‘t keep him from trying. ―Out!‖ When the Male moved to step around him, Ean got in his way. Chest to chest, Ean flashed his Human teeth, and Kika unsheathed tiger-sized choppers. The Male said, ―Out of my way, Chetrah.‖ ―Fuck you.‖ ―It can be arranged.‖ ―Fine. We trade then. You fuck me, you leave Adam alone.‖ Kika smirked. ―Or I could wait until his Shift.‖ The Male‘s sweet, metaphysically warm breath brushed Ean‘s lips, his cheek, his ear. ―You can‘t feed him, remember. I‘ll have what he needs. What he‘ll want. Maybe, if you‘re lucky, I‘ll let you watch.‖ Kika cocked his head and grinned. ―Or maybe not.‖

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A bitter, ugly truth if there ever was one. Ean cranked his right hand into a fist, drew it back. The Male laughed. ―Go ahead, hit me. Give me a reason to roll you. You‘re not an egg anymore!‖ True, but hitting him sure would feel good. The punishment for challenging Kika‘s dominance, however…. ―Ean.‖ Adam stepped up next to him, sheet wrapped around his waist. Ean said, ―Don‘t worry. I won‘t let him touch you.‖ Kika growled. ―He‘s Lesser-Bred. I have every right to taste!‖ ―No, he isn‘t Lesser-Bred yet.‖ For the first time, Ean wasn‘t looking forward to Adam‘s change. Because until Ean belonged, he wouldn‘t be strong enough to keep Adam safe, and Lesser-Breds were only one thing to full-blooded Kin—food. Adam moved between them and put a hand on Ean‘s chest. His eyes were on Kika. ―Just a taste.‖ He made it a statement. Kika‘s hard gaze slid to him. ―Yeah, just a taste.‖ ―That‘s all?‖ ―Adam….‖ Ean put a hand on his shoulder. ―You don‘t have to.‖ ―But I do. I mean, I have to get used to that, right? Besides, it‘s not worth you getting hurt.‖ Wasn‘t it? Ean frowned. ―I‘m not afraid of him.‖ ―Neither am I.‖ And yet Adam was pale, and the muscles along his back shuddered. Adam turned to face the Male, and Ean grabbed his hand and squeezed. God of Man, Ean wanted to be strong enough to keep him. Then no one would taste Adam unless he wanted them to. ―Just a taste.‖ Ean gave Kika another hard glare. The Male still wasn‘t impressed. Kika came closer. When his hand came up to touch Adam, Ean slapped it away. ―A taste, no touching.‖ The Male growled, but he didn‘t reach up again. Ean slipped an arm around Adam‘s ribs and pressed himself against Adam‘s back. ―I‘ve got you.‖ ―I know.‖

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With one last worried glance, Adam gave Kika his mouth. Closing his eyes would have been the smart thing to do, but Ean felt it would make him look like a coward. Kika‘s cold, cruel gaze locked on him while his mouth worked against Adam‘s. Pleased sounds echoed in the Male‘s chest, and his purr vibrated the air around them. Anger licked up Ean‘s spine, but it wasn‘t just because Kika was enjoying himself; it was because watching the Male with Adam made him hard. In his arms, Adam made a sound and his hand tightened on Ean‘s. ―Enough.‖ Kika ignored Ean, forcing Adam‘s mouth wider, making him cough, a sound which was quickly swallowed. ―Kika!‖ Ean tried to pull Adam back, but Kika‘s arms came up, not touching Adam but grabbing Ean and sandwiching Adam between them. Now Adam would definitely know what watching them did to Ean. Sharp fingers bit into Ean‘s arms, keeping him where he was no matter how hard he yanked. Adam struggled. ―Stop it, Kika! You‘re choking him!‖ And he was. Crushed between them, Ean could feel Adam trying to draw a breath. Between the Male‘s sucking the air out of his lungs and scraping the inside of his mouth with his tongue, it had to be an impossible task. ―Kika!‖ The thundering voice of the Dominant ripped through the room. Ean looked up, and at the same time, Kika jerked his mouth away. Adam gasped, coughed, and gagged. Ean stepped back, taking Adam with him. Now with Kika‘s interest elsewhere, he didn‘t try and stop them from retreating. Batu‘s massive form filled the doorway. Even slouched to keep his head from hitting the jamb, he was no less imposing. ―Leave them alone.‖ ―I was just tasting.‖ Even as he said it, Kika stepped back and ducked his head. No longer brazen or cocky, Kika was now just a midranked Male who had no shine in the presence of something as powerful as the Dominant.

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Batu‘s bright copper gaze went from Kika to Adam and pegged Ean where he stood. ―Come. Eat. I cooked you some meat, and it‘s getting cold.‖ Right then and there, something unfamiliar rolled through Batu‘s expression. Seeing it made part of Ean want to run to the Male, curl at his feet, rub his cheeks along his ankles and calves, beg him to mark him, fuck him. Another part, the part holding Adam, cringed. Then whatever it was in Batu‘s eyes flickered and disappeared.

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Chapter 17

THE sudden lack of oxygen in Adam‟s lungs had nothing to do with the tight confines of the ventilation shaft or the heat, and everything to do with the way Ean looked at him. “We should go.” Ean moved back down the passageway, leaving Adam behind. Adam turned and stole one more look at the Male and the Lesser-Bred. They were finished now, lying in a tangled mass of limbs, covered in green ichor and red blood, breathing deep, eyes halflidded with blissful expressions, as if what they‟d just gone through was the most glorious thing in the world. Maybe it was. Ean‟s hand touched Adam‟s foot, and he scooted away from the grate and followed his friend out. By the time they got back to the alley, the sun was completely lost behind the Wall, and the sky had acquired a reddish glow. Adam watched Ean as he replaced the grate, taking his time, keeping his hands busy. Ean wouldn‟t look at him, and he kept his hips turned to the side as though he was trying to hide something. Adam was pretty sure he knew exactly what it was. When Ean turned to go back up the narrow street, Adam grabbed his hand. For a moment, he thought Ean was going to shake his grip loose, but then his fingers slipped between Adam‟s and went tight. Hazel eyes stared at him from under unkempt hair and braids decorated with blue beads. “Is that how you see me?” Maybe “see” was the wrong word, but it was the easiest one for Adam to come up with. One that he was sure Ean would understand.

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Ean nodded. “Yeah.” “Sometimes I dream about things like that.” Adam was a little surprised at how Ean‟s eyes widened when he told him. Ean touched his chest. “Me too.” “How come you didn‟t tell me?” Ean swallowed, and his gaze threatened to slip away. Adam pulled Ean‟s hand to his mouth and licked his palm. That got Ean‟s attention. “I was afraid….” “Of what?” “The bus.” Adam knew exactly what Ean meant. Last year Adam convinced Ean to ride with him on MARTA. Ean tried to pet the man sitting next to him because he had pretty hair. The guy punched him in the face and called him a faggot. “I would never hit you.” Ean shrugged. “I would still keep you, you know. Even if… even if you didn‟t like me like that.” “And what if I did?” The pupils of Ean‟s hazel eyes ate up all the color. He swallowed and said, “I should take you home now.” His hand tightened in Adam‟s, creating pleasant friction and delicious heat. “Why?” Adam didn‟t want to go home. No, what he wanted was to go somewhere and try to teach Ean how to kiss. “Because it‟s getting dark.” Ean tugged his hand again, but Adam didn‟t move. Ean said, “What‟s wrong?” “Nothing.” And there wasn‟t. Adam just didn‟t want to go home anymore. Ever. Adam stepped closer to Ean, so close they could have fit snugly back inside the air vent without any effort. Even in the fading light, Ean‟s eyes glittered, somehow looking fierce and gentle all at once. Adam said, “What if I wanted to stay?”

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Ean blinked once, slowly, and the faintest shiver made the flesh over his shoulders twitch. Adam considered petting him, but something told him it would only make it worse. “Why, Adam? Why would you want to do that?” “I‟m going to change, right?” Ean nodded. “And you‟re going to keep me?” He nodded again. “Then I don‟t need to go home anymore.” “I‟d like that.” Smiling, Ean tipped his head, and Adam held his breath, but instead of the soft press of lips, the wet heat of a tongue slid across his cheek.

THE picnic table was covered in stacks of raw, bloody meat on plates. Except for one where the meat was cooked brown. Adam sat down next to Ean. There were no forks, knives, or spoons. Here everyone ate with their fingers. ―This is yours.‖ Hurath shoved a meat-filled platter under Adam‘s nose. He stared at the strips of flesh, not sure he could stomach it raw while not in a Flare. The Male tipped his head closer. His braids slid across Adam‘s shoulder, and citrine eyes flashed. ―Aren‘t you hungry?‖ Not at the moment. What Adam really wanted to do was strip his jeans off and go back to Ean‘s room, but Batu insisted they join them, and saying no to the Dominant just wasn‘t an option. When Adam looked up, the Males were staring at him. He picked up a strip and nibbled on the edge. They looked away. Batu dropped two glasses of milk in front of them before perching himself on the green lawn chair on the other side of the table. Adam had just sucked in a mouthful when Batu looked at Hurath beside him and said, ―You should fuck Adam so Ean can rest.‖ It didn‘t seem possible milk up the nose could hurt so bad. Ean handed Adam a couple of paper towels and thumped him on the back while he coughed and sputtered. Adam couldn‘t decide what was worse, his face feeling like a million degrees or his nasal passages burning from being Roto-Rootered by Bessie‘s best. ―I‘m fine,‖ Ean growled.

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―I don‘t mind.‖ That from Hurath. Adam tossed him a look from behind a wad of paper towels. No, he obviously didn‘t mind, but Adam sure as hell did. After another short round of coughing, Adam opened his mouth to say something, but it was lost to Batu‘s deep voice. ―He takes from you, Ean, and doesn‘t give back. And it‘s not good. You‘re only Human.‖ Yeah, and now Ean‘s face was red. ―I said I‘m fine.‖ ―I take from you?‖ Ean didn‘t acknowledge Adam‘s question. The Dominant jerked his chin. ―You‘re not fine. You‘re pale, and you‘re starting to smell like food.‖ And considering where Ean lived, that was so not a good thing. Adam put a hand on Ean‘s arm. ―What does he mean that I take from you?‖ This time, there was no doubt in Adam‘s mind Ean ignored him. ―I‘m sleeping, eating….‖ As if to make a point, he shoveled in a handful of food and chewed, then tossed back half the glass of milk in front of him. The loud burp that came last made Kika and Hurath laugh and beat the table with their fists. Batu wasn‘t laughing. Neither was Adam. He was too busy trying to divide his attention between the Dominant and Ean. ―Ean?‖ Adam dipped his head closer, and for a second he was sure Ean was going to give him his eyes, but then his gaze snapped back to Batu. The Dominant flicked a hand at them. ―Let Hurath have him. He can‘t take from him. It‘s better that way, it‘s—‖ Ean‘s fists came down hard enough to topple his glass of milk. ―No one takes care of Adam but me!‖ His fierce hazel gaze clashed with the copper stare of the Dominant, bringing the entire room to a standstill. They growled at each other. Ean and his Human teeth and Batu flashing some serious enamel hardware. There simply wasn‘t any comparison. Only Ean didn‘t seem to notice. Adam tossed a look around, not sure if he should stay or run. Sometimes it was all too easy to forget that the beautiful people Ean lived with weren‘t people at all, and the rules they played by were not

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Human ones. Adam‘s instincts screamed, ―Run. Get the fuck out of Dodge now!‖ As if reading his mind, Ean‘s hand shifted under the table and closed around his wrist. The rest of him remained rigid, his eyes locked with Batu‘s. Something happened between them; something was exchanged. Adam could see it, but he still didn‘t know what the hell it was. Apparently it was over when Batu barked a rumbling laugh and they both resumed eating. Adam forced down a few more bites of food just to keep the Dominant from turning all that big and scary his way. He was finishing his milk when Ean announced he was done and going back to his room. When he stood up, so did Adam. They carried their plates to the sink, where they did a quick wash and rinse. When Adam turned around, Batu was standing behind them. He jerked in surprise and stumbled. At his back, Ean said, ―He won‘t hurt you.‖ Maybe if Batu smiled more often, Adam wouldn‘t have such a hard time believing the big Male meant no harm. ―You should stay here tonight. Both of you.‖ One of the Dominant‘s massive hands came up and reached for Adam. God, he was huge. Fucking massive. And all that hair. He reminded Adam of pictures he‘d seen of lions out on the African Sahara. Only lions had smaller teeth and were way less dangerous. Adam would have stepped back again, only Ean was right behind him, holding him in place. Batu stroked Adam‘s cheek, his neck, his chest. Heat coiled from the Male‘s skin in palpable waves, stroking him from the inside. Adam did his damnedest not to whimper, but it felt good. Wonderful. It would be so easy to get lost in the sensation. Drown in it. ―He‘s close.‖ That from Hurath. The Male stood behind Batu now, and Adam didn‘t even see or hear him approach. Hurath‘s once citrine eyes, now liquid gold, raked Adam up and down as though he could sample flesh and blood with a look.

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The Dominant made a sound, not quite a yes, more of a growl. Then he said, ―Two days, three at the most.‖ When Batu stepped away, Adam almost begged him to keep going. Thank God, Ean grabbed his hand and pulled him across the room. Adam tossed a look over his shoulder, then back at Ean. ―What did Batu mean when he said I take from you?‖ He barely got the question out of his mouth before Ean pushed him through the bedroom door and shut it. ―Don‘t worry about it.‖ ―I do worry. I—‖ Adam‘s back hit the wall. Ean‘s mouth covered his, and suddenly the question didn‘t seem so important anymore. Heat, thick and palpable, coiled in the air around them. Adam realized it was coming from him. Like last night. Those tendrils of ethereal energy were like hands. He could feel Ean, up and down, inside and out. ―Fuck… Adam….‖ Ean melted against him, eyes rolled up, body trembling. ―That‘s it, isn‘t it?‖ Adam cupped Ean‘s face, made him look at him. ―That… that thing that happens when I Flare.‖ Ean nodded slowly, as if he couldn‘t quite wake up. ―What am I doing to you?‖ He knew Ean didn‘t want to tell him because it would frighten him. And Adam was so damn tired of being afraid. Adam said, ―Tell me.‖ ―It‘s a kind of feeding. You take from me….‖ ―I hurt you?‖ ―No.‖ Ean‘s lips curled in a lazy smile. ―It feels wonderful. Really good.‖ ―But Batu said—‖ Ean put a hand over his mouth. ―Less talking.‖ His hands worked to open Adam‘s jeans while at the same time guiding him over to the bed. Well, not a bed, really, more like a couple of beat-up old mattresses pushed together. It didn‘t leave much floor space, not that Adam cared right now.

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They collapsed on the sheets and blankets in a tangle of limbs, and for a moment Ean was still, his eyes closed, his lips parted, as though he were asleep or maybe just exhausted to the point of passing out. ―Ean….‖ Adam put a hand on Ean‘s chest, and his eyes came open. ―I‘m okay.‖ He moved down, stripping Adam of his jeans. With no boxers in the way, his arousal flopped against his stomach, already leaking. Ean grabbed him, and Adam closed a hand over his wrist. ―Stop.‖ ―Why?‖ ―I don‘t want to hurt you.‖ ―I‘m fine. I ate, I rested. I‘ll be okay. I‘ll sleep again afterward.‖ He wasn‘t fine. Now that Adam looked at Ean, really looked at him, he realized Batu was right. There were dark bruises under Ean‘s eyes, and he was pale. On the back of a sigh, Adam said, ―It‘s okay.‖ He pushed back a handful of Ean‘s braids. Stray locks of tousled hair went with them. ―What‘s okay?‖ ―If… Hurath does this.‖ Ean frowned. ―No.‖ ―But I‘ll have to get used to it because when I become….‖ Growling, Ean rose up over Adam. All he needed were teeth, scales, and chelae and he could have been as dragon as any feral. ―Mine.‖ Ean‘s hands gripped Adam‘s shoulders, and he smashed their mouths together. Not so much kissing as biting, licking, tasting. Adam groaned. ―I tend to you, Adam! No one else!‖ ―And when I become?‖ ―I will feed you.‖ ―You can‘t.‖ ―I will. I will belong. Soon, very soon. And then I can feed you.‖ God, Adam wanted that. He wanted Ean to take care of him. Maybe one day he‘d be okay with others, but not now. But Adam had a

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hard time believing Ean could make it so he could feed him in just a few days. After all, Ean had only been waiting years for Batu to mark him. Adam said, ―And what if you don‘t?‖ ―I will.‖ ―But—‖ Again, Ean‘s mouth against his stopped whatever it was Adam was saying. When Ean broke away, he said, ―I swear to you. I‘ll feed you. I‘ll do anything I have to, to make everything right.‖ It was the kind of thing said when there was something wrong. Only Adam didn‘t know what was wrong. Before he could ask, Ean was moving down again, his mouth hot on Adam‘s skin, his hand gripping Adam‘s aching erection. Then his tongue hit the tip of Adam‘s cock, and Adam lost the ability to think—to reason. Ean‘s name left his mouth in an agonizing cry, and his hips shot forward. Ean‘s hands locked on Adam‘s waist holding him down. It didn‘t take long, a minute or less, but it was glorious, slick heat, powerful suction, and the sensation of Ean growling in the back of his throat. Adam cried out one last time, a wordless sound that bordered on inhuman, as he lost himself. When he opened his eyes, Ean was staring at him, his lips swollen, his face flushed. ―You okay?‖ Other than Adam was pretty sure he‘d blacked out. He nodded. Hands petted Adam‘s chest and stomach, drawing the heat to the surface of his skin. It felt real to Adam, alive. The thing inside him rolled outward, a palpable force, a physical presence as real as flesh. Above him, Ean moaned. ―Yeah, you‘re getting stronger. I can feel it. I think….‖ Ean licked his lips, and his eyes slid shut. ―I think this time….‖ He didn‘t finish the question, but he nodded as though he were answering it. When Ean opened his eyes again, they were black. ―I‘m going to lie on my back.‖ ―Wait….‖ Adam blinked, realizing what Ean meant. Ean moved over, taking a minute to strip off his jeans and kick them onto the floor. Near the center of the bed, he arranged himself, head on a worn-down pillow, hands on his stomach, legs bent.

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Adam knelt between Ean‘s knees. ―I don‘t know how to do this.‖ ―It‘s not that difficult.‖ ―What if I hurt you?‖ ―You won‘t.‖ Adam ran his hands across Ean‘s thighs, down to his sac. The sensation of soft hairs played against his fingertips as he moved his hand up. The hairs became a coarse, dense line as they ran under Ean‘s navel to the base of his cock. Adam dragged his hands back down, and Ean made a pleased sound. ―That feels good.‖ Adam was pretty sure he meant more than just the petting. It was as though he were already inside Ean, head to toe, filling him up. Adam looked down at himself, suddenly afraid he might really do something wrong. ―Don‘t we need… something… you know… slick?‖ ―You‘re Flaring.‖ ―So?‖ ―Trust me. I won‘t care.‖ ―But I‘ll hurt you.‖ Ean shook his head. ―No, you won‘t. I promise. Trust me, Adam, you‘ll roll me this time. You won‘t be able to help it.‖ ―But I don‘t want to keep taking.‖ ―You won‘t. Like I said, you‘ll roll me, and when you do that, you‘ll give everything back. It‘ll be great. Better….‖ The expression on Ean‘s face was pure heaven. ―God….‖ ―What?‖ ―I‘ve never had it done to me.‖ That made Adam‘s eyes pop. ―You‘ve never been rolled?‖ Even though he‘d been living with the Males…. ―Batu wouldn‘t allow the Lesser-Breds at the club to do it, and the Males, they can‘t. I‘m Human.‖ Adam wrinkled his brow. ―Only Lesser-Breds can metaphysically roll Humans.‖ Ean smiled, and Adam felt his cheeks go hot at the same time his cock jumped. Yeah, to be first of anything for Ean somehow made him feel ten feet tall and as big as a brick shithouse.

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Adam leaned over him, staring deep into Ean‘s hazel eyes. ―And you think Batu would allow it now?‖ ‘Cause feeling ten feet tall and invincible was one thing. Adam didn‘t want to find out the hard way that the big Male would be pissed off about this. He remembered the stare-down at the table. ―Is that what all the fang-flashing was about?‖ ―Yeah. I had to prove to him I was strong enough.‖ Ean smiled. ―Now, give me your hand.‖ Adam did and almost stopped breathing when Ean straightened out two of Adam‘s fingers and slipped them into his mouth. Fuck, the feeling of Ean‘s wet tongue sliding over his skin, sucking his digits, slicking them up…. Adam opened his mouth so he could pant. ―Ean….‖ Ean extracted Adam‘s fingers with an audible pop. ―Make me ready.‖ Adam stared at his fingers for a moment, and then he looked at Ean again. His eyes were half lidded, his lips parted. Ean looked positively drunk. Adam‘s hand shook as he put it between them; he used his thumb to trace Ean‘s crease, then pressed a finger against his opening. There was no way he was going to fit. It just wasn‘t going to happen. Ean lifted himself up as Adam pushed. Oh, the sound Ean made when Adam penetrated him! It made Adam‘s heart slam against his chest and his insides ache. Adam worked him, in and out, just as Ean had done to him. ―The other one….‖ It took Adam a minute to realize what Ean had said. His voice was deep, thick, and his words were slurred. Adam did as he was told and was rewarded with a second, equally enthusiastic noise. Moving his hand, twisting his wrist, he watched Ean‘s face contort, his brows coming down, his lips pinched between his teeth. When Adam curled his digit, Ean cried out. ―There!‖ Ean pushed against his hand, body coming off the mattress, riding against him, fists twisting up the sheets. Empowered by Ean‘s reaction, Adam did it again. God, he was beautiful in the way that only Humans could be; every scar, every freckle… perfection.

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―Adam!‖ Ean‘s eyes opened, but his gaze was distant. ―Adam… please….‖ He rolled his head back and opened his mouth, panting hard. Adam took back his hand and moved forward. He put one hand beside Ean‘s head to balance himself; his other one was around his cock. Adam suddenly wanted to do this, needed to do this, so badly it frightened him. Adam dropped his head to Ean‘s chest as he rolled his hips forward. Ean lifted his ass to meet him. Pushing in, the feel of Ean‘s body tight around his length was almost enough to make him come. One breath, then two. It took forever to make his way in. ―Move.‖ Ean‘s hands tightened on Adam‘s hips, encouraging him. The first stroke almost undid Adam, the second lit a fire under his skin, and the third… God, the third. It was no longer an issue of straining to move but of finding the will to stop. Long legs arched up and over Adam‘s hips, and heels dug into the backs of his thighs. One of Ean‘s arms wrapped around Adam‘s while the other fisted the sheets, trying to hang on. Adam thrust, his body arching, every muscle propelling him forward and yanking a cry out of Ean‘s throat. The grunting, the slap and thump of flesh, their gasps as both of them struggled to find air to breathe. It was music, all of it. The heat rolling out of Adam‘s body pulled rivulets of sweat from their skin to soak the sheets. While Adam was aware of the pleasurable connection between their bodies, it was the preternatural energy he pumped out that held his attention. A thing, a living, breathing thing that was a part of him, passing through Ean, drawing out parts of him. It scared Adam, and at the same time he didn‘t ever want it to stop. ―God of Man, Adam.‖ Ean arched under him, the cords standing out in his neck, his teeth gritted, his face flushed. Adam pressed his mouth against Ean‘s, tasting peaches, cream, and arousal. At first Ean didn‘t kiss back, but when he did, it was like the connection between them was the only source of air. Against Adam‘s lips, Ean begged, ―More….‖

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So Adam gave him everything. It was when he was close that the burn started. First at the backs of Adam‘s knees, getting hotter as it ate its way up his thighs, across his ass, back, and shoulders. White-hot points blazed a trail under his flesh. Metaphysical fire, invisible to the eye but as real and solid as flesh, kissed Adam across his scars, even his cock. He knew it should have worried him, but right then nothing mattered, nothing but this. An earsplitting roar rendered Adam deaf, an inhuman sound, a sound that he made. When Adam came, the corporeal heat he created broke free, crashed into Ean, who screamed. Even without touching him, Adam brought him over. Warm, wet heat splashed against Adam‘s stomach, and Ean clawed, writhing under him, crying out, saying his name over and over. Spent like never before, Adam collapsed against Ean‘s chest, unable to move, barely able to think. He stayed there until his body quit trembling. Under him, Ean was silent… and still. ―Ean?‖ When he didn‘t answer, Adam looked up. One of Ean‘s hands was on his chest, the other limp near his head. His eyes were closed, his face slack. ―Ean?‖ Adam touched him, his neck, his chest, and he still didn‘t move. Adam crawled up and over. With a hand on each shoulder, he shook him. ―Ean….‖ Adam tossed a desperate look around, as if the pitiful excuse for a room might yield a solution. Finally, Ean took a breath, one long, slow pull, then exhaled. He might have been breathing again, but he still didn‘t open his eyes. Adam petted Ean‘s flushed cheek. His once pale flesh was full of color. Full of life. Even the dark circles under Ean‘s eyes were gone. But he wasn‘t waking up. No matter how much Adam shook him or begged him. Batu, he needed to get Batu. The Male would know how to take care of Ean, how to fix this. Adam stumbled out of the bed. As he reached for the door, it opened.

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An ugly growl rolled through the room, and Adam realized it was coming from him. Worse than that, his lips were drawn up and his shoulders were bowed. He had the sudden urge to stand over Ean. To protect him. Keep him safe. Then Adam‘s common sense kicked him in the ass, and he remembered who he was growling at. This wasn‘t just any Male. It was Batu, a Dominant. And Adam knew Batu wouldn‘t even break a sweat crushing him. ―Something happened….‖ Batu didn‘t look at him as he moved past. Silent, deadly, as if he were made of oil and the physical world were water. One knee on the edge of the mattress, he leaned over Ean, scenting him. Batu‘s throat clicked as he swallowed, and he made a deep thumping sound, so low it was less of a noise and more of a sensation. Adam stumbled back and bumped into Hurath. ―I didn‘t mean to.‖ Adam tossed a panicked look between them. Hurath put a hand on his neck, then dropped the other one to Adam‘s scars. He looked down, thinking the Male was going to finish what his father had started. But maybe that was what he deserved since he‘d hurt Ean. Instead of the sharp sting of chelae, Hurath petted him, his thumb tracing dark, iridescent marks. Adam remembered the burning sensation; he craned his head around to see his shoulders and ribs. It had been like lava racing up his skin. It probably should have hurt, but his brain had been on other things. Thinking of that reminded Adam he was buck naked. At this point, trying to cover himself would only make matters worse, so he just stood there. Besides, it wasn‘t like what he and Ean had been doing was some big secret. Knowing the Males, they‘d heard every word, every breath. Not to mention they could smell it. Hell, right now Adam could smell himself. Hurath cupped his chin, leaned in close, and licked his cheek. ―Your Stain is rising.‖ Adam swallowed. ―Does that mean….‖ Would he have to feed yet?

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Closer to his ear, the Male purred. ―Not yet. Your teeth are still Human, and your need….‖ He sniffed. ―I can‘t smell it. Not yet.‖ Good. Adam‘s gaze slid over to the bed, where the big Male arranged Ean on the pillows and covered him up. Without looking up, Batu said, ―You rolled him.‖ And Ean had never been rolled before. Damn… maybe he‘d hurt him? ―I‘m sorry… I didn‘t….‖ When Batu‘s copper gaze came up, it held no anger or animosity. The Male grinned. ―I didn‘t think you could. But you did. You will be strong. This is good!‖ The Dominant closed the distance between them and put a hand on Adam‘s back. ―You‘re coloring up.‖ The first chance Adam got to look in a mirror, he wanted to see it, because with the way they were all staring at him, it had to be dramatic. He‘d seen Stains on other LesserBreds, but somehow seeing it on his own skin made it entirely different. He was becoming. Over by the door, Kika growled. ―Still smells like Chetrah to me.‖ ―Of course, he still smells like Chetrah. He hasn‘t Shifted.‖ Hurath rolled his lips, flashing way too many sharp and pointies for a Human mouth. Adam couldn‘t help but wonder if he would have teeth like that. Some Lesser-Breds did. Batu ruffled Adam‘s hair. ―We should celebrate. Put on your jeans. We‘ll go to the Pit, and I will buy you beer.‖ ―What about Ean?‖ ―He‘ll sleep.‖ ―But I don‘t want to leave him.‖ Ean was helpless like this. ―Kika will watch him. Besides, we won‘t be long. A few hours. It will give me a chance to introduce you to the Males I have picked out.‖ Batu walked out of the room with Hurath. Males? Adam looked at Kika. ―What does Batu mean?‖ The Male cocked his head. ―‘Bout what?‖ ―When Batu said the Males he‘s picked out?‖

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Kika‘s icy blue eyes slid to Ean. Adam did not like the expression on the Male‘s face. ―Kika?‖ ―If he were mine, I would not wait. Batu should take him, make him his. Ean is valuable, worthy. Unlike you.‖ That harsh gaze snapped back and landed on Adam, hard. ―You, however, Batu has no use for.‖ No use? Which meant what? Only Adam was pretty sure he knew exactly what it meant and exactly why Batu wanted to introduce him to other Males. Kika laughed. It was a harsh and angry sound. ―You don‘t know, do you?‖ One step forward, then two, so close their noses almost touched. ―Know what.‖ Adam said it only because he didn‘t want to believe that Ean would lie to him. The Male grinned; it was brutal and made him appear every bit the feral he was. ―Batu has me, Hurath, and Ean. He has no use for Lesser-Breds. There‘s no place for you here, Adam. You will not be kept.‖

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Chapter 18

EAN dusted off the blanket of dead leaves and sat down beside Adam on the small half wall edging the hill behind the little house. It was completely dark, and only the sickly glow from the lamp in Adam‟s bedroom kept the outside from becoming a well of blackness. Tonight it was warm, really warm, especially for September, even a September in Georgia. Above them, tree frogs sang. It was late in the year for them, but then again, there were still a few leaves on the trees. Beside Ean, wrapped in a blanket of shadows, Adam said, “She cried.” A sigh followed, and dead leaves on the wall rustled as he stirred them with his hand. “Did she say no?” Adam shook his head. “I expected her to. I sort of….” He swallowed and ran a hand over his face. Ean leaned close enough to rest his chin on Adam‟s shoulder. Adam smelled like soap and sweat and spaghetti dinner. If he‟d eaten dinner with Ean, he would smell like milk and browned meat. When Adam spoke again, his voice was small. “She was happy. She was glad I wanted to stay, that you want to keep me, and that Batu will help….” He shrugged. “She says it‟s where I belong.” It was. It was exactly where Adam belonged. Even though Ean was pretty sure Adam believed that, too, now, he sounded so sad. “Don‟t cry.” Ean leaned in and rubbed his cheek against Adam‟s. His skin was warm but dry. “I‟m not.” “I‟ll take care of you.” “I know.”

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Ean petted Adam down his back. “Will you miss her?” “Of course.” Yeah, stupid question. One Ean should have never asked. Of course Adam would miss her. She was his mother. Ean had nothing to compare that to, but it was a powerful force, sort of like Queen Dragons, only she never bit Adam or hurt him. And Adam was never afraid to be in her presence. Ean pushed Adam‟s bangs back and tucked one of his new braids behind his ear. “I don‟t want you to be sad.” “I won‟t.” “Are you sure?” Silence. Adam fidgeted in the dark, first with his braids, then with the bracelet on his wrist. It was one Ean had given him, made out of copper wire, bits of his hair, and glass beads he‟d bought in the street market. Adam‟s hands moved around a lot like this when he wanted to say something but was afraid to. Sometimes Ean wished he was afraid more often. Maybe it would keep him from getting punched or called names. Faggot? He still didn‟t know what that word meant. But Adam didn‟t like to say things that might make people sad or hurt them. Even if it meant he had to hurt instead. In the dark, Ean slipped his hand around Adam‟s wrist, down his palm, entwining their fingers. “You want to stay a little longer, don‟t you?” Adam stopped moving then, and his grip tightened. In the shadows, his eyes were navy with lighter bits of sky blue. “Would you be angry?” “Never.” “Would you still come and see me?” “Always.” Adam nodded. “I think she still needs me.” And he still needed her. That was what his eyes said. Adam wasn‟t ready. Sitting there, holding his hand, listening to the tone of his voice, seeing the want and fear in his eyes, Ean

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understood for the first time what Batu meant when he said those very same words to him. Why he wouldn‟t let Ean be with Batu when he fed from Kika and Hurath. Why he wouldn‟t let Ean go to the club yet. Ean was still an egg. And those kinds of things were for Males, LesserBreds, and Humans who smelled like sex. Like Adam, he‟d be ready one day, but not now. Ean said, “Then we‟ll wait.” “And you don‟t mind?” Ean shook his head. It was the truth. What were a few more days or a few more weeks, months, or even years? Adam was here, he was still Ean‟s, and even if he wasn‟t ready, they could fish in the creek, play street games with the Males, and buy things in the market. Maybe somewhere in-between, Ean could figure out how to kiss. He wondered if the TV at the Radio Shack would have shows he could watch to learn how.

EAN woke up to darkness and the soft rumble of Male voices—far enough away that he knew they weren‘t in the same room with him, but close enough to know it was Batu, Hurath, and Kika. God of Man, he felt good. Ean reached over, expecting to find Adam, but the blankets were rumpled and cold. He sat up, listening harder now, and couldn‘t find Adam‘s gentle Human voice mixed in with the melodic rise and fall of the Males‘. Ean got to his feet, grabbed his jeans, shoved his legs in, and zipped them up. When he yanked open the bedroom door, the Males stopped talking. They were eating again. Fresh kill by the look of it. Ean didn‘t let his eyes linger on the remnants long enough to figure out what it was. The coat was brown. A deer or a dog. ―Where‘s Adam?‖ Because he wasn‘t sitting at the table with them. Hurath looked away. Batu didn‘t; neither did Kika. In fact, that son of a bitch grinned like a Halloween jack-o‘-lantern. ―What the fuck did you do to Adam, Kika?‖

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Kika stood up. His teeth shot down, and his chelae came out, a tide of metaphysical scales fluttered across his arms and chest before disappearing back under his metaphysically made Human skin. ―Come closer, find out.‖ Oh, Ean would come closer, all right. If Kika so much as touched a hair on Adam‘s head, he was going to fucking kill the bastard. A wet dream if there ever was one, but so what. He‘d die trying. ―Ean!‖ His name burst out on a roar of thunder. Batu stood up, and Kika wisely planted himself back on the bench. Ean didn‘t sit down. Hell, he didn‘t even back up. Instead he turned all his fury on Batu and snarled. ―Where is Adam?‖ ―He left.‖ Left? Ean shook his head. ―What do you mean?‖ Batu shrugged, and the plastic lawn chair let out a plaintive moan as he sat back down and resumed eating. Ean stared at the Males. None of them were looking at him. It was as though he were an egg again and didn‘t exist. ―Batu?‖ ―He left, Ean. Adam is gone. I cooked you some meat. It‘s—‖ ―What the fuck do you mean, he‘s gone! Gone where? Where did Adam go!‖ Link to be or not, he was Human, and screaming at a Dominant was a dangerous game of chicken Ean knew he‘d never win. Copper eyes rolled up at him, gleaming like headlights under a mass of unruly hair. The only sound in the room was the scrape of plastic against the worn linoleum. The Male moved toward Ean, silent, deadly, a force of preternatural power rippling the space between them. Ean stood his ground. In spite of the fact he was pretty sure his insides had just turned to liquid, he didn‘t drop belly to the floor and beg for the privilege to breathe. Ean said, ―Tell me.‖ ―I did.‖ Short. Clipped. Matter of fact. In front of Ean, Batu became a wall of perfectly carved muscle, smelling of dark chocolates and strange exotic coffees. ―Something happened. Adam wouldn‘t just leave. What happened, Batu?‖

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Batu‘s breath brushed against Ean‘s ear. ―He‘s made his choice.‖ ―Which is what?‖ ―To not become.‖ Which meant Adam would die. It was like getting hit with a fucking two by four right to the middle of the goddamned forehead. Ean stepped back until he struck the wall with his shoulders. ―Why….‖ God of Man, Ean could barely speak. Hell, he could barely breathe. ―Why would Adam do that?‖ ―I told him I would not keep him.‖ Again, no pity. Worse than that, no remorse. Ean started for the door, but Batu grabbed his arm. ―Let me go.‖ ―He‘s made his choice, Ean.‖ ―Fuck you. I won‘t let him die.‖ Not only wouldn‘t but couldn‘t, because it would kill him too. And Ean was sure that would be the kindest thing, because life without Adam wasn‘t possible. Like a Human Link who belonged to a Male, Ean would simply cease to exist. Besides, with Adam gone, what reason was there to live? Batu said, ―You don‘t need him.‖ He didn‘t need him. God of Man, Ean had never needed someone so badly in his life. But Adam was gone, and he‘d chosen not to become. Ean‘s knees buckled, and he wound up on the floor, staring at the tops of Batu‘s feet, clutching his chest, and trying to find air. ―What‘s wrong?‖ The Male crouched down and slipped a hand around Ean‘s neck; his thumb traced his pulse. ―Ean….‖ ―It hurts.‖ Boy did it. Like glass, nails, and rusty razor blades packed tight in his lungs, cutting him up from the inside with every breath. ―Where?‖ Batu‘s hands touched Ean, petted him, searching for the wound that had taken him to his knees. ―In here….‖ Ean dug his fingers into his chest, trying to crush the pain. The Male found nothing on the outside. On the inside Ean knew he was raw and bleeding. Completely shredded.

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Batu held him, petted his head, his neck, his chest. There was real worry in his copper gaze, real fear. And the Dominant was never afraid. ―Tell me, Ean.‖ ―I need him. I need Adam.‖ Why couldn‘t Batu understand that? Why couldn‘t he see? ―Why?‖ Ean screwed his face up and did his best to find the words. They were simple enough, but until now he‘d never really understood what they meant. ―I love him.‖ The Male still didn‘t understand. Ean could see it in how Batu tipped his head and the way his brows furrowed over his copper gaze. ―Maybe you‘re just sick?‖ ―No, I‘m not sick. I love him. I love Adam.‖ Closer now, the Male‘s hot breath huffed against Ean‘s cheek. ―How do you know you love him?‖ ―Because… it hurts….‖ Ean pounded a fist against his chest. ―In here. It hurts when he goes away.‖

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Chapter 19

ADAM watched Ean disappear into the darkness and turned and headed into the house. His mother stood at the sink washing dishes. The yellow rubber gloves she wore made her hands look comically big. He noticed he was as tall as her now. When had that happened? In spite of that, she still seemed larger than life. With her lighter hair and simple brown eyes, they looked nothing alike except for their build. Once upon a time she had been beautiful, and even though she would always be beautiful as mothers are in the eyes of their children, those perfect edges had been ground down. She wore worry and hard work like a second skin. For me, Adam thought. She does that for me so I can be with Ean. Yeah, now more than ever, staying a while longer only seemed right. “Mom?” She started, and he didn‟t miss the quick swipe of her gloved hand under her right eye. Any doubt that it had ever happened was squelched because she‟d left a thin line of suds on her cheek. “Hey… I thought you were gone.” Even though nothing about her expression changed, relief shone in her eyes. Adam tossed his chin at the back door and dropped his eyes to the ragged cuff of his Levi‟s. There was a long rip forming in the end. He‟d have to switch them up soon or they‟d be nothing but threads. “Ean and I decided to wait.” His mom stared at him, Adam could feel it. Her gaze was as powerful as Ean‟s but in a different way. When he looked up, tears spilled down her cheeks.

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“God, Mom, don‟t cry.” She came forward. Adam was pretty sure he heard a rib crack when her arms closed around him. Her hand smoothed down locks of hair and random braids on top of his head, leaving dish soap in his hair. “Are you sure?” Her words were muffled against the side of his head. “Yeah. I‟m not ready. And….” He swallowed and wrapped his hands around her, holding on tight. “Neither are you.” It didn‟t seem possible, but Adam was sure he could feel her love for him like the palpable waves of heat Kin gave off. Adam‟s mother kissed him once on the cheek and whispered, “Thank you.”

IT

WAS while Adam was standing in the small kitchen of the little shotgun house that he realized why his mother had brought him here. It wasn‘t just because they needed to hide from his father. It wasn‘t just about being somewhere safe. It was about finding somewhere to belong. Somewhere that he could call home. And for the first time Adam realized that home wasn‘t the house on the hill with its big windows and moss-covered roof, worn hardwood floors and tiny off-square rooms. No, home wasn‘t here inside these walls, among all the things he‘d grown up with, things that he‘d shared with his mother. Everything in Adam‘s life—the furniture, pictures, and even the dishes—were just items marking the passage of time. They meant nothing. Even as solid as they felt under his hands, they really didn‘t exist. Home was love, and now that she was gone, for Adam, love was Ean. Had she known he‘d find someone like Ean to teach him about what was really important? Or had she just hoped? Either way, it didn‘t matter, because now Adam had lost Ean too. Batu had said he wasn‘t going to keep him, and that meant Adam would have to be owned by another, some Male he didn‘t know, some

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Male he‘d have to feed. While Kin cared for what was theirs, protected them, kept them, they could not love. And Adam didn‘t know how he could exist without that very simple Human element. Probably the only thing that really made Humans different from the monsters. For the first time in his life, Adam had no direction. Standing there in the tiny kitchen with its faded gold tile, he might as well have been set adrift in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. He‘d never felt such a sense of loneliness, this sense of being lost. Not even those five years away when he was so desperate to come back to the home he‘d known, to the one other person he‘d ever truly loved. It seemed impossible, but the pain of losing Ean eclipsed the loss of his mother and threatened to wash away everything he was. Desperate, Adam searched for something to anchor him to the here and now, anything, just a crumb of Humanness to keep him sane. He blinked and noticed the small white rectangle of cardboard lying on his kitchen table. Ten minutes later, Adam stood in front of the pay phone a block from his house with a quarter he‘d fished from behind the busted plate of the coin return in his hand. He stared at the coin, not quite sure what he was doing or why. Then he stuck it in the slot and dialed the number on the crumpled card he‘d laid on the top of the phone box. A long crackle of static, then it rang. Adam shut his eyes and pretended he could smell peaches. The phone picked up. ―Hello?‖ Music played in the background, and there was a lot of talking, guys and girls. It sounded like a party. Adam couldn‘t help but think how he‘d never been to a party before. His own birthdays had been spent with Ean and sometimes his mother if she had the day off. Thing was, it had been more than he could have ever wanted. Hell, even now it was more than he needed. Now all that was gone, and calling Brian wasn‘t going to change it. On the other end of the line, there was movement from Brian and another, ―Hello?‖

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Adam sighed and hung up. Somewhere in the high grass, the cicada kicked up. Adam pushed himself away from the phone and headed back toward the house. It would be dark soon. He was hungry and shivering again. Without the Males to keep him warm and to feed him, Adam knew his time was short. He didn‘t want to die. What he wanted was to simply cease to exist. Or better yet, to have never been. By the time Adam got back home, the chill he felt had turned into full-fledged shakes. He stripped off his jeans, cranked on the hot water in the bathtub, and fell in. Even though the tepid air turned white, the damn thing wasn‘t nearly hot enough. Adam curled under the spray and fought the urge to sleep. It was a battle he must have lost because the next thing he knew, he was lying in his bed, rolled up in a blanket and incredibly warm. No muscle cramps, no aches, just all-over, head-to-toe warmth. He did have an erection, and he was still hungry, but it wasn‘t so bad he couldn‘t ignore it for now. ―You‘re awake.‖ Adam blinked as a pair of chocolate-colored eyes came into view. He looked past Brian to see where he was—his room, his bed, still at home. He brought his gaze back. ―What are you doing here?‖ ―You called me.‖ Yeah, he had, but…. ―I didn‘t say anything.‖ ―You didn‘t have to. I heard you sigh.‖ More blinking. ―You heard me sigh?‖ Brian smiled, and just like always, it was a beautiful sight. Adam caught himself staring at Brian‘s mouth and forced his gaze to the far wall instead. ―I Googled the phone number that came up on the caller ID. When I saw where it was coming from, I knew it had to be you, but you do have a very distinctive sigh.‖ Brian‘s thumb stroked Adam‘s cheek and chin and moved close to his lips. Adam didn‘t pull away. Worse than that, he was staring at Brian‘s mouth again. ―You were cold, so I wrapped you in an electric blanket.‖

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Being touched was all Adam was thinking about, so it took him a minute to process what Brian had said. ―I don‘t have an electric blanket.‖ ―I found it in your mom‘s room. I didn‘t think you‘d mind.‖ When Adam shifted under the blanket, Brian sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the mattress. Brian said, ―Are you hungry?‖ Yeah. ―I‘m okay.‖ ―You sure? I ate some nachos at the party, but I could always eat some real food.‖ Adam had been right that Brian had been at a party. ―I didn‘t mean to drag you away.‖ In fact, going back was probably a good idea. ―I don‘t mind.‖ No, the look in Brian‘s eyes said he didn‘t mind at all. In spite of all the want—the lust—Brian‘s expression was nothing like Ean‘s. Come to think of it, neither was his touch. It felt nice, Adam craved it, but it wasn‘t the same—it wasn‘t as fulfilling. Brian touched like a Human, not like Kin. The pain in Adam‘s chest made his face clench and his body tremble. ―You okay?‖ No, he wasn‘t. A very important part of Adam had been missing and then found, and was gone again, and now he‘d never get it back. Adam pulled the blanket tighter around himself when he felt Brian‘s hand touch him between his shoulders. ―You can talk to me, you know.‖ Adam shrugged. ―There‘s nothing to talk about.‖ ―I saw the Stain.‖ Brian moved closer. His hand slipped under Adam‘s chin and forced his face up, but opening his eyes was his own fault. ―It‘s beautiful, Adam. Like you.‖ ―It just started.‖ ―Does that mean it will get darker?‖ ―Yeah, darker, maybe bigger. I hope I don‘t wind up marked on my face. Some do, you know.‖ Adam didn‘t know why he felt a need to say that, but he did. ―I‘m sure you‘ll be fine.‖

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―Yeah, maybe.‖ Closer now, Brian tipped his head. ―Adam, why did you call me?‖ Adam opened his mouth and closed it. Twice. When he finally found his voice, the only thing he could say was, ―I don‘t know.‖ ―You had to have a reason.‖ He did, he just didn‘t want to think about it. Admit it. But then it fell out of his mouth. ―I didn‘t want to be by myself.‖ As soon as the words left his lips, Brian smiled, really smiled. His thumb stroked Adam‘s mouth, and his fingers slid close to the half-dry locks of hair clinging to his cheeks. Adam could smell him, buttered chicken and chocolate. ―Brian?‖ God, he was handsome, caramelcolored skin, hair as dark as his eyes. ―Yeah?‖ ―You shouldn‘t be here.‖ ―But you called me.‖ ―I shouldn‘t have, I‘m sorry. You should go.‖ Adam shivered. The electric blanket was almost blistering hot against his skin, but there was an empty cold spot in his chest, getting stronger, growing bigger. ―Is that what you want?‖ Brian‘s lips touched Adam‘s forehead, almost chaste, and yet the contact left his skin burning. ―Please….‖ Another kiss, this time near his eye and Brian said, ―Please what?‖ ―I‘m not strong enough. Like this, I‘m not strong enough.‖ Adam cranked up the edges of the blanket in his fist because he wanted to touch Brian, pet him, press his body close and drink his warmth. ―You don‘t have to be strong.‖ Brian‘s lips brushed Adam‘s nose, then his cheek. ―I don‘t want you strong.‖ With their foreheads touching, all Adam could see were Brian‘s eyes. ―I‘m dangerous,‖ Adam whispered. ―You would never hurt me.‖ ―I might.‖ ―I know you, Adam, you‘d never hurt anyone.‖

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Adam could feel the thing coiling inside him, cold, craving heat, heat that couldn‘t be found in hot water or electric blankets. It needed touch, flesh, and blood. Adam blinked and said, ―Please leave.‖ ―But I just got here.‖ Brian‘s hand tugged on the edge of the blanket, and it slid off Adam‘s shoulder. ―I shouldn‘t have called. I‘m sorry, please….‖ Another tug, and the blanket was partway down his arm. There just wasn‘t enough strength in Adam‘s fingers to hang on. Brian‘s hand brushed against his shoulder, his chest, his neck. Heat bloomed under Adam‘s skin. Adam leaned into the contact, savoring it. He needed more. He wanted more. ―Tell me to stop,‖ whispered Brian. Adam couldn‘t, and the look in Brian‘s eyes said he knew that. ―Please….‖ Adam dropped his head back. Brian obviously took it as an invitation and kissed him at the hollow of his neck. ―Please, please, please….‖ More pushing and tugging of the blanket. Brian opened it wider, pulled it lower. Against Adam‘s pulse, Brian said, ―I wanted to touch you. When I found you in the shower, I wanted to touch you so badly, like this.‖ His hands slid down, across Adam‘s stomach to his hips. Against his will, Adam‘s legs spread wider. ―That‘s it… God… Adam.‖ Brian pushed him back and pulled the blanket open. ―Fuck, look at you.‖ Adam didn‘t have to look. He knew. Engorged, leaking, his body betraying his need, and yet his cognitive mind completely rebelled against it because he knew he was dangerous. When Brian‘s hand slipped around Adam‘s cock, he bucked. ―Brian….‖ His name came out on a hiss. ―Tell me to stop, Adam. Tell me, and I will.‖ Brian stroked him. Adam opened his mouth, but only a long, ragged moan came out. ―I can make you feel good.‖ Adam rolled his eyes down to see Brian unbuttoning his shirt with his free hand. He got to the third one and pulled it over his head. There was a tattoo near his right pec, a Chinese character. Adam had no idea what it meant.

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―I want to make you feel good.‖ Brian worked the button on his pants and then the zipper. The bed bounced as he kicked his legs and shucked off his jeans. Black silk boxers were all that were between them when Brian moved up beside Adam. His mouth landed against Adam‘s, and his tongue slid deep. Adam groaned when Brian‘s natural buttered chicken-chocolate flavor, thick with arousal, hurled him over the edge. He thrust in Brian‘s grip, cried into his mouth, and spilled wet warmth across Brian‘s hand. When Adam opened his eyes, Brian said, ―God, do you have any idea how gorgeous you look when you come?‖ Brian‘s gaze slid down to where he was gripping Adam. ―You‘re still hard?‖ ―I‘m Flaring….‖ ―What?‖ ―Metaphysical Flares. Please, Brian, I could hurt you.‖ ―I won‘t let you.‖ ―And I don‘t think you could stop me.‖ Brian paused, and for a moment, Adam thought he might go, prayed he would go. But then he said, ―I don‘t want to leave. Do you understand? I don‘t want to stop doing this to you. And I won‟t stop. Unless you tell me to, but I don‘t think you can.‖ Brian planted a line of kisses along Adam‘s shoulder and neck, sucking at his pulse. ―God….‖ Adam kicked and arched. ―More….‖ Brian laughed. ―Tell me what you want.‖ What Adam wanted was for Brian to get out of there. He wanted to warn him, to beg him to go away. But none of those words would come out of his mouth. ―Tell me, Adam, anything you want.‖ Brian stripped off his boxers, and his erection slid against Adam‘s leg. More inhuman noises and pleading sounds inched out of Adam‘s throat. Brian licked his skin, nipped it, sucked…. ―Tell me, Adam, anything, anything and it‘s yours….‖ ―Neeeed….‖ Adam rolled his hips, using Brian‘s hand to stroke himself while his own hands dug at the sheets. ―Need, more… please more….‖

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―More what?‖ Adam felt Brian‘s lips curl against his pectoral as he nibbled and bit his right nipple. Brian‘s free hand traced the juncture of Adam‘s leg, slid under his nuts, pressed against his entrance. Slicked with ejaculate, he only had to push. Adam threw his head back, came off the mattress, riding against Brian‘s fingers. He heard Brian cussing, begging him to come for him, telling him he was beautiful, telling him how badly he wanted him. Adam bit his tongue, and it was the taste of his own blood that brought him a second time. It still wasn‘t enough; it was never going to be enough. Tears burned Adam‘s eyes and cut trails across his temples. ―Adam….‖ He blinked. Brian‘s face filled his view. He was flushed, his eyes dark, and there was a crease across his lip, the imprint left from where he‘d been biting it. Brian said, ―I want you.‖ Adam wanted him too. Only not in the way Brian was thinking. ―More. Please, Brian. Fuck me.‖ By the look on his face, it was exactly what he wanted to hear. ―I have a condom in my wallet, hang on….‖ When Brian‘s hand disappeared from his cock, Adam replaced it with his own. He pumped himself in desperation. Maybe if he could come again, it would settle. Just when he found a rhythm, Brian‘s hands over his stopped him. ―Wait for me….‖ Another round of kisses landed against Adam‘s cheek, his mouth. Oh, God, his taste, gloriously sweet. Adam tried to keep the connection when Brian pulled away. Brian pushed Adam over. ―On your knees.‖ Adam obeyed. More kisses against the back of his neck, more along his shoulder. ―Bite me!‖ Adam demanded. Brian laughed. ―Why would I want to do that? I want this to be good for you, and I‘m going to make it good.‖ He kissed the space between Adam‘s shoulders. Next to his ear, Brian said something, but Adam didn‘t hear it. He was too busy staring at the little bits of white lying in the rumpled sheets in front of him.

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Those are my teeth. When Adam moved his tongue, he felt more come loose. Pain, keen, hard, vicious, lit up his jaw bone, and something sharp pricked his tongue. Blood slid across Adam‘s palate, thick and rich, less Human now and more Kin. Heat exploded from under his flesh. At his back, Brian moaned. ―Fuck… what is….‖ His hips did a lazy roll, erection riding against Adam‘s back right above his ass crack. The lubricant on the condom left a sticky trail in its wake. Adam shuddered as those strange tendrils of heat spun out. He could feel Brian, inside and out. Most of all, he could feel the thing that made him Human, the thing that gave him life, and Adam wanted it because it could keep him warm inside. ―Brian….‖ Run… God, run, please run. Adam buried his hands in the mattress and felt the fabric tear and give way. ―I don‘t know what you‘re doing, but don‘t quit.‖ Brian‘s laugh was a warm breath against Adam‘s ear. ―God… that‘s the most incredible feeling.‖ A hand touched Adam‘s shoulder, and something blunt and thick pressed against his entrance. ―I‘ll go slow… I promise….‖ ―Please, bite me,‖ Adam begged as he pushed back against Brian‘s cock, forcing him to go deep on the first thrust. ―Oh, Christ… Adam….‖ Brian drew back and rode forward, making Adam shout. ―I don‘t know how you do it, how you make me want you so badly.‖ Another roll of his hips, and then he was moving. And no matter how much Adam begged, Brian still wouldn‘t bite him. At his back, Brian continued to thrust and grunt while he said things, unimportant things. The flavor of sex, buttered chicken, and chocolate slid like silk down Adam‘s throat. He tried to filter it out by burying his face in his pillows, but they smelled like Ean. A growl, thick and needy, rolled out of his chest, and he shredded the pillows with his teeth because the urge—the need—to bite was overwhelming. Brian‘s hand wrapped around Adam‘s cock, but he was too busy with thrusting to make more than a few clumsy strokes. Adam came,

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but it wasn‘t from the hand work. It was from the scent of peaches now clogging his nose and the prospect of food within arm‘s reach. A few more rolls of his hips, and Brian barked out a cry. His thrusting lost rhythm, and he shuddered hard before he collapsed against Adam‘s back. Even though Brian was a much larger person, Adam had no problems holding him up. Head to toe, Adam‘s entire body trembled with metaphysical heat boiling under his skin. ―Adam….‖ Brian‘s hand stroked his shoulder, his cheek. ―Are you okay?‖ He moved, then asked, ―What happened to the pillow?‖ It was in pieces, nothing but shreds of fabric and wads of foam now in Adam‘s hands. Adam didn‘t pick up his head. He didn‘t want to look at Brian. The last pieces of his humanity depended on it. ―Adam… hang on… let me….‖ Adam listened while Brian got rid of the condom; then he was back, hands on Adam‘s neck, his cheeks, trying to get him to turn his head and look at him. ―Shit, you‘re shaking. Talk to me… tell me what‘s wrong. Look at me!‖ He did. Not because he wanted to, but because his hunger forced him to. ―You okay?‖ Adam nodded. The pinched look around Brian‘s eyes smoothed out until his eyes slid down to Adam‘s mouth. He picked a wad of foam off Adam‘s chin. ―You‘ve got blood on your—‖ Adam didn‘t give him a chance to finish. He leaned forward and nuzzled Brian‘s neck. He smelled so sweet, so rich. ―More….‖ ―Christ… you‘ve got to be kidding me!‖ No, he wasn‘t. Adam dragged a hand down Brian‘s chest, across his stomach. He paused, wondering how much warmer he would feel from the inside. The heat radiating out of Adam‘s skin stoked up again. ―Adam….‖

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―I neeeed, Brian.‖ Adam licked Brian‘s neck, his shoulder, while his hand slipped between Brian‘s legs. He was soft, and Adam wanted him hard. ―Give me a few—‖ ―Can‘t wait.‖ He nipped at Brian‘s collarbone. The action earned him a yelp and the sweet flavor of blood. ―Damn….‖ Brian‘s protest melted away as Adam closed his mouth over the scratch and sucked. ―Mmmm, Jesus, Adam… what‘s gotten into you?‖ ―More….‖ Adam nipped him again, and this time Brian flinched. ―Hey… watch it, your teeth are sharp.‖ He laughed, and it turned into a moan as Adam pushed his metaphysical self outward. ―More… Brian… I neeed….‖ ―And you‘re going to have to let me rest… five minutes… maybe… less?‖ Adam shoved Brian back against the mattress. One hand planted in the middle of his chest held him down even when Brian pushed against him. Brian‘s dark brown eyes widened. Brian‘s scent was stronger close to his mouth, so Adam pressed his lips to Brian‘s and slipped his tongue deep. The purr kicking up in his chest wasn‘t as low and loud as a Male‘s, but it was definitely impossible to miss. Against his mouth, Brian said Adam‘s name and something else. Whatever it was, it could wait. Adam was too busy tasting him, drinking down the flavor of sex bleeding out of his throat. Although the taste was slightly different now, it still made Adam‘s cock ache and his insides burn. Adam straddled Brian‘s hips and used the closeness of their bodies to stroke himself. ―More….‖ The demand came out on a growl against Brian‘s mouth, and the strange new taste spiked. It was as sweet as the flavor of sex and twice as strong. ―Adam….‖ Brian did some pushing and shoving, making space between them, so Adam grabbed Brian‘s wrists and pinned him against the bed. ―Stop it!‖ ―More… neeeeed… fuck… neeeed more of you!‖ Adam rose up and over Brian, his hips surging, his body trembling with want.

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―Get off me.‖ Brian kicked, tried to roll Adam off, but Adam held him. Definitely sweeter now. This new flavor lit Adam up on the inside. Brian yelled and twisted in his grip. ―Adam! Let me go!‖ Adam wanted to, but he didn‘t, couldn‘t, he was too hungry…. Fucking starving. Adam tipped his head and rolled his lips, flashing fangs. Brian screamed.

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Chapter 20

IT WAS dark outside, and Ean had his face pressed to the dingy front window of the Radio Shack. He waited for the toothpaste commercial to end, hoping the one he‟d seen with kissing weeks ago would come on. Maybe if he‟d paid attention the first time he saw it, he could have learned something. But Kin didn‟t kiss, so it hadn‟t seemed like it was all that important at the time. When it went off, Ean held his breath, but the next commercial was about dog food. Lot of help that was going to be. Although…. “You‟re a little far outside the Zone, don‟t you think?” Ean turned to see Brian giving him a whole lot of unhappy with his eyes. Maybe if he ignored him, Brian would go away. Worked for annoying insects and large, snarling dogs. Usually. “I‟m talking to you, in case you didn‟t notice.” “I noticed.” Ean cupped his hands on either side of his head to cut out the glare from the fluorescent lights from the café across the road. And of course it didn‟t hurt in his crusade to ignore Brian. “So you out here alone?” Apparently insects and nasty dogs had more smarts than Brian. Ean stepped away from the window and crossed his arms. “Yeah, I‟m alone.” “Adam finally kick you to the curb, huh?”

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Whatever that meant. Ean shoved a handful of braids back out of his eyes. There was a jewelry commercial on now. A woman, a man, sparkling clear chips of rock on rings of gold. Ean was pretty sure this one was it. Ean said, “Go away, I‟m busy.” “Staring at commercials?” “Learning how to kiss.” Brian made a sound. There might have been some laughter in there. Ean couldn‟t be too sure, and right now he really didn‟t care. Damn, kissing looked hard. He tilted his head one way, then the other. “And why are you trying to learn how to kiss?” It was the tone in Brian‟s voice that made Ean look at him. Brian‟s eyes were as hollow as his expression. “Because….” “Because why?” Ean shrugged, ran a hand through his hair again, put his eyes on the tops of his dirty feet. Brian‟s feet weren‟t dirty; they were wrapped in a nice pair of white Nikes with a blue swoosh. Ean said, “It‟s important to Adam. It makes him happy, and I want him happy.” Brian‟s eyes went to the TV, but his expression was different now, and Ean didn‟t understand it. But Humans were like that; they wore what they were thinking like a shirt or a pair of pants. Then, to make things difficult, something completely different would come out of their mouths. Something that didn‟t go at all with the signals their eyes and bodies gave. Unlike Humans, the Males always meant what they said. Brian sighed. “You seriously care about him, don‟t you?” “Of course.” Still not looking at him, Brian‟s throat bobbed. “Do you love him?” Ean blinked a couple of times and rubbed his chest. It was aching again. Maybe he was sick. He thought about what Brian had asked. Then he thought about how to answer him. And because he didn‟t have the words, Ean said, “I don‟t know.”

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A small, tight smile pulled on Brian‟s lips. It made him look a lot older than he was. “You don‟t know?” “I don‟t know what love means, so I don‟t know if I do or not.” Ean was just being honest. He knew what he wanted, what he needed, what he liked and didn‟t like…. Brian just so happened to fit nicely into that last category. As to whether or not he loved Adam, according to Batu, love was a Human emotion, and Ean had never known anything but Kin. Ean shrugged. “Why does it matter?” Brian made an angry sound. “Jesus, you really are stupid. You‟re going to hurt him, Ean. That‟s why.” “Never.” Brian shot him a look so hot that Ean was surprised that it didn‟t burn and leave welts. “Yeah, you will. You‟ll hurt him bad. Don‟t you get it?” No, he didn‟t. But then Humans from outside the Zone, even those that lived on the Fringe, rarely made sense to Ean. And Brian didn‟t even live that close. He was truly from the city. When Ean shook his head, Brian added some angry growling to the ugly look. “He loves you, Ean. And that‟s obviously something you can never give back to him. Come to think of it, do you have anything you can offer him? Except maybe a life as wyrm fodder, ‟cause that‟s all you‟re going to be. That‟s all you want to be! If you care about Adam so much, you wouldn‟t condemn him to that. You‟d send him away to be with someone else, someone who could actually love him back!”

EAN woke up in his bed surrounded by warmth and the scent of Male Kin and soap. He blinked, seeing nothing in the darkness. But he didn‘t need eyes to know Batu was at his back, Hurath in front of him, and Kika beside Hurath. It was the way they almost always slept, especially when Ean was sick. The Males were worried about him. It was why they‘d washed him and why they slept with their bodies pressed against his, their limbs crisscrossed protectively over his body.

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As wonderful as it felt, as much as it made Ean feel that he belonged, they were Kin, and they could not love. But Adam could. It took a little maneuvering, but Ean managed to slip from between the Males without waking them up. As heavily as Kin slept, it wasn‘t too hard. They wouldn‘t stay asleep long though, and that meant he had to move fast. Batu didn‘t want to keep Adam, and no amount of tears and pleading would change his mind, so that left only one choice for Ean. He had to find another that would make him belong and agree to keep Adam too. Ean knew other Males envied Batu because the Male kept him. Ean‘s flavor, his taste, was a rare delicacy. It made him important as a potential food source, and food among the species was far more valuable than any amount of cash. And Ean was more than willing to use his flavor to bargain for what he needed. Wanted. Ean found his jeans on the bathroom floor and put them on. The walls, the tub, the air was still warm and moist from the time he‘d spent in here. Bathing for the Males was about more than just getting clean. It was about washing away all the bad things. All the stress, all the turmoil, a moment of bonding and exchanging affection. Part of Ean wished they hadn‘t done that to him. Leaving was going to be hard enough all on its own. He owed Batu so much. The Male had saved his life, kept him fed, taught him to be strong. Ean didn‘t really want to leave, but he didn‘t have a choice. At that moment Ean realized it wasn‘t that he loved Adam more. It was that Adam was Human—part Human—and those little bits of Adam were forever burned into his heart. Thing was, Ean was pretty damn sure Adam needed him just as much, maybe more, because those Human parts—like Kin—had to be fed. Not with flesh, not with blood, but with love. In a shoebox stuffed under the sofa, Ean kept a few important things—some money, a toy car, some shiny rocks, and a piece of paper where he‘d made letters for Adam all those years ago while sitting on the back wall behind the house on the hill. Ean took it out and rubbed it

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on his cheek, one side, then the next. His still damp hair smudged the graphite. He carried it over to the picnic table. It was only paper with words, but they were important to Ean, and Batu would understand that. His hands made a few passes over the wrinkled sheet, the creases and imperfections smoothed under his fingertips. For way too long, Ean stared at the rectangle and the letters he‘d painstakingly drawn for Adam. With a trembling hand, Ean moved it a little closer to the edge of the picnic table, right in front of the green plastic lawn chair where Batu always sat. Maybe the Dominant would understand. Maybe the Dominant would even forgive him.

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Chapter 21

“AM I pretty?” Adam blinked and turned his head to look at Ean, but couldn‟t see him. Here in the wildflower field at the bottom of the hill, the night was as black as the alleys between the busted-up buildings. It was great for stargazing, but presented a problem when a guy was trying to see if his best friend was being serious. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” In the darkness, Ean moved. Adam could barely make out the shape of his shoulders and head as he propped himself up on one arm. “Am I pretty?” Well, that confirmed the fact that Adam had heard him right. “Are you pretty? What kind of question is that?” Ean sighed and lay back down. When he put his arms behind his head, his elbow brushed against Adam‟s. After a long minute, Ean said, “Sometimes I worry Batu might change his mind about marking me because I‟m not pretty enough.” Adam blinked. “I thought he wanted to make you belong because of how you taste?” “He does.” “Then why does it matter how…”—Pretty? That just wasn‟t the right word—“what you look like?” “I have scars.” “So?” “And freckles.” “So do I.”

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“But you‟re going to become, and you‟ll have teeth and a Stain, and I‟ll just have… nothing.” Beside Adam, there was a soft thump and a rustle of grass, as though Ean had raised his arm and dropped it. More silence, then Ean asked, “What if Batu changes his mind?” He moved, and Adam could feel Ean‟s breath on his cheek. “What if he decides he doesn‟t want me anymore?” Adam turned his head. Now he could feel Ean‟s exhale on his lips. “He won‟t.” “But what if he does?” “He won‟t, Ean. Batu would never do that, and you know it. He doesn‟t care about what you look like. He wants you because you‟re you.” “But Kin only keep who they need, who they can use, who has value. Dominants make Links to give them resources. They need people who can do the things they can‟t in Human society, on the outside.” “So?” “I can‟t read. I can‟t write. I‟m not smart about things like most Humans. To belong means I have to have something valuable to give to him. A special part of me. I‟ve been trying to figure out what it is that I have to offer. And since I can‟t read, can‟t write, and I don‟t know about the outside, then why would he want to make me belong. I thought….” Ean took a breath. “I thought maybe if I was pretty, that could be the reason.” “You‟re fine.” “But what if I‟m not. What if he changes his mind? I‟ll grow old. I‟ll die….” Images of an old and weathered Ean flashed through Adam‟s mind. Then Adam thought about how he was supposed to become and how Lesser-Breds had the potential to live forever, just like Kin. A forever that Ean wouldn‟t be in. Cold, hard anger drove Adam to his feet. In the darkness, he relied on the bare stretch of the footpath to lead him back toward his house. “Where are you going?”

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“Home.” Behind him, the grass rustled. A second later Ean was at his back. “Are you mad?” “Yes.” A hand touched Adam‟s arm, and he jerked away. “Why?” “Because you‟re saying stupid shit.” Adam felt for the worn line of dirt with his toes and hurried toward the hill. There was more light there because of the houses at the top. Still, it was dark, and one wrong step and he‟d wind up head over heels in a patch of blackberries. Usually, Ean led the way. He never seemed to need his eyes as much as Adam did. So it really didn‟t surprise him when he stepped on a loose stone and wound up on his knees. Hands around his waist kept him from sliding down the hill. “I‟ve got you.” Yeah. But Ean was always there to pick him up. So what was he going to do when Ean couldn‟t? When it was time for Adam to become? Or worse, if Ean got sick or old or…. “Adam?” He couldn‟t answer. His throat was too tight. “Are you okay?” A hand petted Adam down his back, across his ribs. He got his right foot under him, then his left, and the hands were there to steady him as well. Ean became a line of warmth by his side. Adam stood there, catching his breath or maybe just trying not to cry. “Batu will keep you. He has to.” “But—” “No buts. Batu will make you belong because you‟re brave and fast and strong and because if he doesn‟t, then….” Adam threw his arms around Ean‟s shoulders and buried his face into his neck. “I‟ll be by myself.” That was when the ground shifted, and they both wound up tangled together and rolling down the hill. When the world quit spinning, Adam couldn‟t see anything, not even the stars. Then the heavy weight crushing the air out of his lungs moved.

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“Hey, you all right?” Ean‟s dark shape blocked out the points of light in the sky, but he was still close enough that Adam could feel his breath on his cheek, his body, and the long stretch of his legs straddling his right thigh. Being this close reminded Adam of the air duct they‟d climbed into so they could watch the Males. More than that, it reminded him of what the Males were doing. Above him, Ean went still, but his breath quickened, and there was a distinctive press of something hard against Adam‟s hip. Ean moved like he was going to roll away, and Adam caught his arm. “Stay.” “I shouldn‟t.” But he didn‟t move; in fact, some of that weight came back down against Adam‟s body. It felt good. It felt right. Adam picked up his hand, touched Ean‟s chest, his neck, his cheek. His thumb found Ean‟s lips and moved across them. Above him, Ean said, “I tried to learn how.” “Learn how?” “How to kiss.” Adam‟s stomach tightened, and his jeans suddenly felt a size too small. “Will you show me?” Ean made a sound, not quite a hiss, more like a… growl? “I shouldn‟t.” And yet he dipped his head closer. Close enough that Adam breathed him in, tasting Yoo-hoo and Fig Newtons. “Please?” Close, so close, Adam could almost feel Ean‟s lips against his skin. Ean said, “But what if… what if I kiss you and I can‟t stop?” Yeah, what if? “Maybe I won‟t want you to.”

ADAM had no idea how long he‘d been sitting there on the floor, his back against the living room wall, staring at his bloody hands. There was more of it on the floor, and it made a trail all the way back to his bedroom, where a lot more soaked the sheets and the walls.

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God, he wanted to close his eyes. Then he wouldn‘t have to look at all the crimson on his skin, but the images he saw when his lids were down were worse—images that he knew he‘d never forget because his mind had remained his while his instinct and body had taken what it needed to sate the hunger. At some point he became aware of someone else in the living room; going by the buttered chicken and chocolate smell, it wasn‘t Ean. He noticed other scents too. Sharp flavors which made his nose tingle and his tongue curl—acrid, bitter, metallic. ―I told your momma you was a curse.‖ Adam blinked. His eyes followed the shape of a gun in the man‘s hand as he took a step closer. With a little more effort, Adam was able to lift his eyes to the hard, weathered face and dark brown eyes staring down at him. Tall, wiry, with salt and pepper hair and a hard, cruel smile, Adam‘s father looked just like he had a few weeks ago when he‘d been wearing chains on his wrists and ankles, standing in a courtroom. Seeing him didn‘t surprise Adam. He wondered how many people had died before his father had found him. Not many, he hoped. ―Your momma never believed me. She always thought if you was raised right, loved right, given some set of morals and ethics….‖ He laughed, and the sound made Adam flinch. ―Ethics. Yeah, right, as if the Children of Cain could know anything about ethics. There‘s a reason why God marked you up. So the world would always know what you really are.‖ Another step, and the floor creaked. ―Do you know what you are, boy?‖ Silence. Adam swallowed and said, ―A monster.‖ His father froze. There was a flash of something behind his eyes, but it was gone so quickly that Adam couldn‘t be sure he hadn‘t imagined it. ―How long have you been here?‖ Adam had no idea why he asked. The man‘s hard, cruel mouth twisted up. ―Long enough. Long enough to know just being around your kind corrupts the souls of good people.‖

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Long enough? Adam looked back toward the bedroom then. ―Was he alive?‖ ―Why?‖ ―Because I want to know why you didn‘t stop me if he was. Why you didn‘t shoot me to keep me from killing him.‖ From killing Brian. That had been his name once. Now he was just prey, scatter, broken, and mostly eaten. When his father stayed silent, Adam brought his eyes back around. There was another look on his father‘s face now, colder and harder than anything Adam could have ever imagined. Instead of giving him an answer, the man said, ―Do you know what your mother said to me before I put a bullet in her head?‖

ADAM ran, ran right for his mother because she was screaming. Then Ean‟s arms wrapped around him and took him to the ground. “Adam, no!” “Let me go!” “You can‟t help her, you can‟t. They‟ll kill you too.” “I don‟t care. Goddamn it, Ean, let me go.” By some act of chance, Adam slipped from his grip and bolted. He was almost to where the light of the porch cut away the night. Right there where the men were holding his mother. She had blood on her shirt, and there were ugly black marks on her face from where they‟d been hitting her. The sight of her like that cemented his feet to the ground. Her gaze came up, caught his, and she screamed. “Run, baby, run!” Adam heard movement and looked up to see the man on the porch with a gun. Then strong arms were around his body, snatching him back into the cover of night.

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HOT, wet lines cut a path down Adam‘s cheeks. His father looked at him. Looked through him. Adam shuddered. His father said, ―Do you, know what she said?‖ Adam shook his head. ―She told me that I would never find you. That the monsters had taught you how to survive. But there‘s a rule when you deal with monsters, Adam. Do you know what that rule is?‖ The ―no‖ Adam said was softer than a whisper. ―They never go away. They never stop being what they are. Dress ‘em up, give ‘em a job, let them drive a car. Part or whole, it doesn‘t change them. On the inside they‘re still beasts. And animals always find their own kind. When she left, all I had to do is look where the monsters were thickest. Yeah, she thought she outsmarted me. Amazing what a little patience, time, and money can accomplish.‖ Adam‘s father took a step closer and raised his hand, taking aim. The rage-filled scream scared Adam‘s father a hell of a lot more than it scared him. The man‘s eyes peeled wide, and his arm shot up. The flash of the muzzle filled the small house with the sound of thunder, but he missed the body hurtling toward him, either by the luck of surprise or because Ean came through the bedroom door lower to the ground than most men his height would. He attacked the way Kin would and not a man. Ean‘s fist connected with the man‘s face, one hard blow that sent him tumbling to the ground. Ean whirled around to follow him to the floor, screaming, lips drawn back, looking every bit like the creatures he‘d been raised with. Adam could almost believe he was. Then time slowed down, and the following second dragged on. Adam saw the blur of black metal in his father‘s hand come up. Another second and Adam was on his feet and heading right for Ean, but even moving faster than the Human eye could follow, he never stood a chance to beat the bullet that smashed into Ean‘s stomach. The impact knocked Ean off his feet and threw him backward onto the floor. And unlike Kin, Ean did not heal, and he wasn‘t hard to kill.

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Hunger was supposed to be the most dangerous thing about Kin and their Lesser-Bred cousins. Adam knew that. Believed that. Until now. Now he knew that the power of the need to feed paled in comparison to the fury that exploded from his flesh and bones. The Rage of the beast inside him. At that moment, Adam felt nothing. No regret. No fear. No remorse. Everything Human about him evaporated and became the dragon inside. While he knew his physical form didn‘t Shift like fullblooded Kin… …his soul did. Now for Adam, there was only one focus—the Chetrah lying on the ground in front of him had just destroyed what was his. Adam didn‘t even feel the bullet strike him in the chest. He didn‘t feel the second one burn a hole through his side. He did feel the man under his hands, though. The sensation of his flesh tearing. The warmth of his blood flowing. The taste of death as he ate out his throat.

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Chapter 22

MAYBE he wouldn‟t want him to quit. Ean would like that. He would have given everything to feel the press of Adam‟s body under his, without their blue jeans, so there would be nothing to separate the hardness they both had between their legs. Ean‟s hands twitched with the need to touch Adam there. To undo the button of Adam‟s Levi‟s and pull down the zipper. He wouldn‟t be wearing any underwear because Ean never wore any. God of Man, he wanted to kiss Adam. And apparently Adam wanted that, too, because one hand tangled up in Ean‟s braids and pulled his head forward. The space between their mouths was erased. Mouths together, Ean did his damnedest to remember the commercial from the Radio Shack TV, but the sensation of Adam‟s body against his, the heat between his legs, and his other hand working frantically to wiggle between them and get to the front of his jeans and release him made it impossible. So he did what was natural for him, what was instinct. He forced his tongue deep, Adam‟s mouth wider, and scraped the inside of his mouth while simultaneously sucking the air from his lungs. Tasting. Adam‟s legs did some kicking; then he relaxed, and Ean exhaled, feeding him back his scent. His flavor. When Ean broke away, he didn‟t have to see Adam‟s face to know he was blushing. He could feel the heat radiating from his cheeks, like the heat of Kin. Both of Adam‟s hands worked to get to his Levi‟s, and Ean pressed himself closer to keep him from getting between them.

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Adam made an angry sound. “I want to take off your jeans.” Yeah, and Ean wanted him to do that too. He wanted to see Adam, feel him, taste him between the legs like he‟d done his mouth. And yet no matter how bad that need was, Adam wasn‟t ready. Like Ean, he needed to wait. It was the rule of Kin—they were unborn until they smelled like sex, and that meant they were untouchable. Because Kin did not harm what hadn‟t had a chance to live. To survive. Ean sighed. “We can‟t.” Adam froze for a second as though maybe he was unsure about what he‟d heard Ean say. Then his hands worked even harder. Without any warning, Ean found himself on his back. Adam had rolled him over. It was a move he‟d taught his best friend himself. And while part of him was impressed by his execution, the other part reminded him that now Adam had the advantage. Ean was pretty sure the only reason his pants stayed in place was because of the dark, and Adam had to rely on his sense of touch more than his eyes. It gave Ean time to grab his wrists. “Adam, stop….” “No.” Adam tried to yank out of his grip, but Ean held on. “We can‟t….” “You want me. I know you do. I can feel you.” Yeah, and Ean could feel him too. He was hard behind his jeans. “Adam….” “Let me….” “You‟re not ready.” Adam stopped again. “But I‟m yours.” Yeah. Yeah, he was. Which was exactly why Ean had to wait. Adam was too important to waste. Just like Batu wouldn‟t mark Ean until he was ready because it would ruin him and he wouldn‟t live as long. Links didn‟t live forever, so timing was everything. Too soon and Ean could die centuries before his time. And because Batu cared about him, wanted to keep him, own him, he would never take him too soon. Because Kin protected what they cared about, what was important to them.

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Adam did some more pulling. Ean shoved him off and stood up. Adam stayed on the ground. Ean knew that based on the sound of his crying, how the grass moved against his jeans, how the leaves crackled under the fists he made. “I love you, Ean.” Ean touched his chest. The pain was back, and it felt more raw and open than ever before. “I know you do. But you‟re not ready.” Adam sobbed, and Ean knelt down and petted his back. The crying racked Adam‟s body and felt like an earthquake under Ean‟s hand. Ean licked Adam‟s cheek and tasted tears. On a shuddering inhale, Adam asked, “When?” “When what?” Silence. Ean could practically feel Adam‟s glare. It was as hot as his skin. “When will I be ready, Ean. Huh? When? And who gets to decide when I‟ll be ready? You? Batu?” Good question. Ean had no idea how he would know. So he asked, “Who decides things Human?” More silence then. “What the hell does that mean?” “Who decides things for Humans who aren‟t going to belong? Queen dragons decide things for the Males. The Dominants decide things for the Submissives. And Males who keep and own decide things for those that they care about. So who decides things for Humans?” “I‟m not going to be Human, Ean. Remember? I‟m going to be Lesser-Bred.” “But you‟re Human right now. So who decides?” Adam slapped Ean‟s hand away and stood up. Dying high grass crunched under his feet as Adam made his way to the hill. Ean stood up and followed. “Adam?” “What?”

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“Who decides?” Because maybe Ean would ask them. Maybe if he knew, then he could tell Adam, and he wouldn‟t be so angry. Maybe whoever was in charge could even teach him how to kiss. Another angry sound, then Adam yelled, “No one decides, Ean. There‟s no one who takes care of Humans. We take care of ourselves!” Ean blinked, opened his mouth to reply, and that was when they heard the scream split the night. And even though it was ragged, brutal, and terrified, Ean knew it was Adam‟s mother. And that meant that Adam would too.

EAN wondered if the pain in his stomach felt anything like the hunger the Males experienced. Then he wondered if feeding would make it go away? But he was Human, not Kin. So he didn‘t think that would work. God of Man, it hurt. Going to sleep seemed like the solution. It did wonders for the pain in his chest when he thought he‘d lost Adam, and then later when Batu refused to keep him. Only Adam was talking to him, saying his name, begging him to open his eyes. So he did. Even covered in blood, his lips trembling, Adam was beautiful. ―God, Ean….‖ ―Is he dead?‖ Adam sobbed but nodded. ―Good. Don‘t eat him. He should rot.‖ Another sob, and Adam pulled Ean to his chest. The movement made the pain in Ean‘s stomach throb. He hissed. ―You shouldn‘t have come.‖ That from Adam. Damn it, he actually sounded angry. ―But you‘ll die unless a Male feeds you.‖ Adam‘s arms went tighter. ―So you came here to do what? Feed me?‖ No, because he‘d wind up like Brian. It took a lot of effort, but Ean got his hand to raise up so he could pet the back of Adam‘s head.

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Adrienne Wilder

―No, but another Male can. Just like another Male can make me belong.‖ Although that wasn‘t going to happen now. Ean looked down at himself. A pool of blood had formed in the hollow of his stomach, and he could no longer see his bellybutton. Ean was dying. If only he belonged, he could heal. Ean brought his eyes back up. He decided if was going to die, he wanted to do it looking at Adam and not at the ugly wound in his gut. More than that, if he was going to die, he wanted Adam to understand what he felt. ―I have something important to tell you.‖ ―What… what could have been so important that you had to get shot?‖ Ean was pretty sure the sound Adam made against his temple was supposed to be a laugh, but it didn‘t sound right. Without a doubt, Adam was definitely angry. Normally, Ean might have felt bad for upsetting him, but for some strange reason, things like that just didn‘t feel important anymore. He blamed it on the fact Adam was holding him. That he was close to him. That he loved him. It was getting harder to think now. To breathe. Ean sucked in air. The pounding in his chest fluttered, and he felt weak. So damn weak. ―I just wanted you to know I loved you too. I‘ve always loved you. I just didn‘t understand until now, until I found you again. I‘m sorry I wasn‘t smart enough to figure it out, or strong enough to keep you safe.‖ ―It‘s okay….‖ Adam brushed the hair back from Ean‘s eyes. ―No, it‘s not.‖ ―I‘ve known, Ean. I‘ve always known. In your own way, you loved me.‖ More than anything Ean wanted to keep staring at Adam, but it was getting hard to keep his eyes open. There was a heavy creak from the front porch, and Adam‘s arms tightened their hold. At first Ean thought that Adam was wrong, that his father wasn‘t dead. Especially when Adam growled, really growled, sounding just like the Males. Then Ean felt the air hum with preternatural presence. And not just an ordinary kind of metaphysical presence, but the strength of a Dominant. A shadow fell over them.

To Adam With Love

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―Ean….‖ Even now, Batu‘s deep, rumbling voice made Ean feel safe. The Male‘s copper gaze looked so sad. His massive hand touched Ean‘s cheek, and his thumb swept across Ean‘s pulse. ―Come with me, let me take care of you, make you belong.‖ Ean didn‘t even bother to ask Batu why now. Why this moment and no other, because it didn‘t matter. Going with him meant leaving Adam. When the Male moved to lift Ean up, he used the last of his strength to cling to Adam. ―I won‘t leave him….‖ ―I know.‖ Closer now, the heat of the Male‘s skin covered Ean head to toe. Adam was still there, still holding him. Ean could feel Adam‘s face against his neck, his body trembling against his side, along with Adam‘s unwillingness to let him go. Even in the shadow of the Dominant. Jerry was right, love was more powerful than anything else. When Ean opened his eyes, Batu‘s copper stare filled his view. He had that look again, the one he got when he thought Ean was sick. Batu‘s mouth curled a little. Ean was pretty sure it was the first time he‘d seen him smile. ―I will keep your Adam, Ean. You have my word.‖ ―But you… said….‖ The Male petted him, Ean‘s cheek, his shoulder, his arm. It felt so good. So right. ―Shhh, little one.‖ Little one. God of Man, the Male hadn‘t called him that since he quit calling him an egg. ―I know now. I understand now. You love him. So I know you have to keep him.‖ Ean shook his head. ―How….‖ ―Because I love you.‖ When Batu blinked, something rolled down his face. Tears, he was making tears. And the Dominant never cried. Ean reached out and touched his cheek, leaving a smear of crimson. What he said next was automatic because it was what he‘d been told so many times, and all the Males accepted it as truth. ―But Kin don‘t love.‖ ―I do.‖

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Adrienne Wilder

More tears spilled down the Male‘s cheek, enough that they soaked Ean‘s fingers. ―But how do you know?‖ Batu put one of his massive hands against his perfect chest. ―Because it hurt in here when you went away.‖

About the Author

Georgia bred and born, ADRIENNE WILDER spent most of her childhood exploring fantastical worlds hidden in her own back yard among tall grass and shadowed kudzu tunnels. When she was not dragon hunting, she spent most of her time reading, writing, drawing, and digging holes. Currently Adrienne lives in Dahlonega, Georgia, where she shares her home with a variety of dogs and one cat. She still spends most of her time, reading, writing, drawing, and digging holes. Although now she calls the reading ―research,‖ the drawing ―artwork,‖ the writing ―books,‖ and the holes ―ponds‖ and ―gardens.‖ You can visit Adrienne on the web at http://www.theatlantadens.com or e-mail her at [email protected].

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Also from DREAMSPINNER PRESS

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