The Price of His Redemption

THE PRICE OF HIS REDEMPTION …Jesse’s attention was locked on the belt in Emma’s hands, staring at the points where her...

Author: Craig Jamie

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THE PRICE OF HIS REDEMPTION

…Jesse’s attention was locked on the belt in Emma’s hands, staring at the points where her small fingers connected with the cold steel. “You know how to put it on,” Gideon said. Emma’s eyes widened, like it never occurred to her that she would be the one charged with this responsibility. Jesse’s hands locked into fists as Emma dropped to her knees in front of him. Despite what happened earlier that day, and despite the trouble that they were both in, Gideon felt the spark of arousal passing between them, and the slight twitch of Jesse’s cock. “Step into it,” Emma instructed, holding the belt at Jesse’s feet. He stepped forward and she pulled it up to his hips. Gideon had specifically chosen this version for the way it would strap down Jesse’s cock. Emma had to push the length into the L-shaped tube first, where it would hold it between his legs and make an erection impossible once the belt was secure. The flow of blood would be interrupted and the worst Jesse would feel was a twinge of discomfort. This wasn’t about pain, after all. This was about control. And considering Jesse could sometimes be a walking hard-on, that made this a true test. A torrent of goose bumps erupted along Jesse’s thighs as Emma’s breath fanned across his midsection. Her hands shook as she pulled the security belt through all three straps. Jesse’s

was just like Emma’s in that respect. The steel band ran down his crack, and the fitting over his cock made it impossible for Jesse to even touch his balls. The only way to get out was to undo the locks. The locks for which Gideon had the keys…

ALSO BY JAMIE CRAIG At The Advent Of Dusk Calendar Boys Series: January – December Clandestine Love Double Down Fortune’s Honor His Very Own An Innocent Proposition Keeping Time A Little Bit Bewitched Lucky Haunts The Master Chronicles, Book I - X Nowhere Man Serendipity Star Attraction Stealing Northe Stealing West Tempting Fortune Those Who Cherish Time In A Bottle

THE PRICE OF HIS REDEMPTION BY JAMIE CRAIG

AMBER Q UILL PRESS, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com

THE P RICE OF HIS R EDEMPTION AN AMBER QUILL PRESS BOOK This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. Amber Quill Press, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. Copyright © 2009 by Pepper Espinoza & Vivien Dean ISBN 978-1-60272-497-6 Cover Art © 2009 Trace Edward Zaber

Layout and Formatting provided by: Elemental Alchemy

PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

We’d like to thank everybody who reads the series for their continual support. This series would not have been possible without our fans.


CHAPTER 1 In the dead of night, in the dead of winter, even Chicago slept. Fresh snow blanketed roads, sidewalks, lawns. Snowplows wouldn’t be out for hours yet, which left streetlights catching the flecks within the crust and scattering them in a silvery glitter across the city. Gideon sat at his bedroom window, curtains thrown open to the now cloudless sky, and wished for brief seconds that he wasn’t cooped up inside. This was a night for hunting. The air practically begged him to come out and play. The blankets rustled behind him. Silently, he turned his head and watched Emma’s pale form rise from the bed’s sanctuary. Though it had been a month since her return, she 1


had yet to cut her hair. It fell in thick, dark blonde waves to her waist, obscuring her naked curves. Gideon thought it made her look both younger and more seductive, but he kept that opinion to himself. He and Jesse didn’t comment on the changes in Emma since her rescue. They were too relieved she was back to dare disturb the balance. Jesse still slept in the middle of the bed, the blankets twisted around his waist. Both had fallen asleep naked, spent from an early night and hours of slow fucking. The scent of come still hovered in the air, but Gideon had refused to give it power and distract him from his vigil. Tonight was his turn. He would not allow his baser desires to get in the way. Emma didn’t speak. She stepped noiselessly to her dresser and rifled through the second drawer. As Gideon watched, she slipped on panties, then sweats, then sat down topless on the floor to pull on socks. Her hair hung over her face, hiding it from view. The delicate arch of her spine was smoother now than it had been only a few weeks earlier. No knobs, no visible ribcage. Slowly but surely, she was gaining the weight she had lost. Nobody knew exactly how much time had passed in the other dimension for her, but it was enough for her to have dropped nearly twenty-five pounds. In some ways, she had been just a shell when Jesse had rescued her. They were finally seeing the light at the end of that particular tunnel. Gideon remained motionless while she finished dressing. She straightened, and her baggy T-shirt caught the hard peaks of her nipples. No bra. Sometimes she wore one, sometimes she didn’t. At her full health, Emma’s breasts were ripe and 2


luscious, and not wearing a bra during the day wasn’t really an option. But she wasn’t quite there yet. Soon, perhaps. Not now. She went into the adjoining bathroom. Without shutting the door or turning on the light, she used the toilet and washed her hands. Familiar rituals, both of them. Jesse stirred at the sound of water running into the sink, but not enough to realize Emma was no longer in bed with him. If he rolled over, he would know. He might even wake up and join Gideon. They did that occasionally, though they had set up the alternating schedule to prevent both of them being zombies during the day. Good intentions. He prayed they weren’t their downfall. When Emma finally went for the bedroom door, Gideon rose from his chair. He was already dressed, already prepared as he followed her out into the hall. She turned right, toward the stairs, her fingertips gliding along the wall for guidance. Light from a downstairs lamp that had somehow been forgotten sent long shadows skittering up the walls. Emma’s silhouette loomed taller, thinner, than her solid form. Her hand resembled a spider, finding its way along an invisible web. Still, she never said a word. He didn’t know why that always bothered him. Maybe because it made her seem like a ghost, like everything they had gone through to get her back had been a dream, and he and Jesse were stuck in some delusion together while Emma was still bound helpless against her will in another dimension. Or worse, that she really was dead, and this was their own personal hell. Gideon hated how silence made her so much more ethereal. It worked to his 3


advantage on nights like this, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. At the bottom of the stairs, Emma paused. Gideon halted halfway up. She cocked her head, as if listening for something, so Gideon did the same. Heartbeats. Four of them. Emma’s. Jesse’s. Dominique and Michelle’s in their wing of the house. They were the pulses that breathed life into his existence, the reminders that he wasn’t alone. Even Michelle’s was welcome, though he would never in a million years tell her that. The refrigerator in the kitchen kicked in. Ice cubes fell into the tray. Emma would never have heard the latter. There were other distinct sounds he normally dismissed. The hum of electricity, both through the house’s wiring and in its appliances. The gurgle of pipes. The toilet upstairs was still running. Beyond the walls were the echoes of Chicago, but at this hour of the night, their residential neighborhood became a void. Nothing interesting there. And yet, every time Emma did this, every time she stopped in her tracks to listen, her intent was etched in every ready line of her body. What did she hear? Neither he nor Jesse had ever found a satisfactory answer for that. She began walking again. Her paths rarely varied. Sometimes she went into the kitchen and fixed herself something to eat. On those nights, Gideon sat opposite her at the table and watched her glazed eyes, waiting for her to notice him there. She never did. 4


Other nights, she went into the living room and sat in the middle of the floor. Nothing else, just sat. Always the same spot. Cross-legged, with her hands in her lap, like she was a child waiting to be noticed. There had been one time, very early on, when she had gone downstairs to the playroom. Gideon had followed, curious about what she might do, but when she’d gone straight to the toy closet and one of the more dangerous whips, he’d jumped in and pulled her away. He’d guided her back upstairs, helped her back into bed, and told Jesse about it the next morning. They had agreed then to keep the basement door locked at all times. Emma never remembered her nightly sojourns, and they understood enough about sleepwalking to know she might not be completely rational. Better to be safe than sorry. Tonight was something new. Her gaze swept slowly around, settling on the library door. Her steps were slow and methodical, her hand reaching out to open it as she approached. She left it slightly ajar, and Gideon slipped in unseen behind her. A long, shuddering sigh wracked through her slim frame. For a second, Gideon thought she was crying, but there was no other sound, no scent of salt, nothing to indicate tears. She stood several feet within the room and simply waited. So Gideon waited, too. The library was one of the rooms that had been the house’s best selling points for Jesse. It was two stories high, with shelves lining all but one of the walls. A balcony ringed the 5


second level, making it possible to look out over the main room, and tall ladders slid along installed railings to make it possible to reach even the highest shelf. Emma had equated it to the My Fair Lady set, which wasn’t really far off. Gideon had only known that Jesse got hard just standing in the cavernous room. Considering he had lost a library it took him twenty years to accumulate, indulging Jesse had been easy. Minutes passed. There was no set time for Emma to be up; it varied from night to night. Once she returned to bed, she would be in for the duration, but until then, the sky was the limit. She moved to Jesse’s desk and flipped on the lamp in its corner. Its golden glow cast a circle over the stack of books he’d left behind, but otherwise, the top was tidy. Their case load had been remarkably light since Emma’s return. By choice. While Jesse still had his Guardian responsibilities to take care of, he did nothing to demonstrate that in front of Emma. Michelle picked up the slack there. Without bitching about it, which was unusual for her. Gideon wasn’t complaining. It was about time they started catching a few breaks. The leather of the chair creaked when Emma sat down. Her hands skimmed over the surface of the bare blotter— exploring, not touching. She perched on the edge of the seat, her gaze cast downward. When her fingers reached the edge of the desk, they disappeared behind it. A drawer slid open. Gideon frowned. That was new. He edged closer to see her extract Jesse’s pewter letter 6


opener. It was heavier than it looked, with an ornate handle decorated with whorls and curlicues, and though the blade itself was not sharp, the sight of it in Emma’s delicate hands sent alarm running through Gideon’s veins. He poised at the side of the desk, ready to snatch it away, even if the sudden jarring meant waking her up. Jesse had warned him about that. It would disorient her, he’d said. Make her unpredictable. In that moment, Gideon preferred unpredictability to bloodshed. He didn’t relax when she set it in the middle of the blotter. It balanced oddly on the metal band separating the blade from the hilt. With a quick flick of her fingers, Emma sent it spinning in a stationary circle. Shards of dull gray flittered across the book spines lining the walls. More flashed across Emma’s face. When the letter opener started to slow, she caught it with her hand and set it dancing yet again. Over. And over. And over. She didn’t blink once as she watched it spin. But her heart did quicken. It raced in time with the revolving implement, and slowed when its tempo eased. Not just once. Every time. Gideon crouched down to get a better view of her face. In spite of her odd pulse, her breathing remained slow and even, her eyes empty. Her flawless complexion looked sallow in the poor lamplight, with dark shadows along her cheekbones. Unable to resist, he reached out and tucked a strand of hair 7


behind her ear. His fingertips grazed along her jaw, but the familiar jolt of emotion was missing. It always was when she was like this. It was like…she simply wasn’t there, which was far more terrifying than when she’d been physically absent. “Emma,” he said softly. He waited for a response, an acknowledgement, anything to indicate she’d heard him. He received only silence. She wasn’t like this during the day. When Emma was awake, she burst with life. Happiness radiated from her, and if she got tired a little easily or couldn’t quite finish dinner, that was okay. She complained good-naturedly about Jesse and Gideon’s hovering, but accepted their care with grace. She’d been more than a little surprised to learn Michelle and Dominique were permanent houseguests, but even with that, she’d fallen into their routine as if she’d never left it. She filled the hole she had left behind with love and smiles. They had even finally resumed their sex lives, though she had yet to do anything too hardcore since Jesse was a mother hen at the best of times. Seeing her as a shadow of her day self always stung. He wasn’t sure what Jesse did, or how he felt when he kept an eye on Emma like this, but the most common element to Gideon’s emotions was helplessness. Because they couldn’t actually do anything except make sure she didn’t hurt herself. They had asked her after the first time it happened, of course. Her blank look and confused emotions were enough for them not to press about it again. Emma finally looked up from the desk. With the letter 8


opener still spinning lazily in place, she pushed the chair back and stood, going around the opposite side to the nearby steps that led to the second level. Her nails clicked lightly against the rail as she climbed, a staccato rhythm that burrowed beneath Gideon’s skin. He frowned when she grabbed the ladder and dragged it behind her, like a child pulling a wagon. She didn’t even look at the shelves as she passed the books. She rounded the corner, traveled the length of the shorter wall, and rounded the next corner, too. On the desk, the letter opener drifted to a stop. Its tip pointed at the exit to the front hall. Emma halted. Gideon didn’t have to turn his head to see where she was. All he had to do was lift his gaze. She’d come to a dead stop directly over the door and pulled the ladder to the rows in front of her. One rung. Two. Three. Her socks seemed precarious on the slick wood, but her step remained sure. She pulled out a thick, leather-bound book with gilt edging. She didn’t skim over the spines in search of it. Her hand went unerringly to its spot, as if that was the one she’d meant to retrieve all along. From its position in the library, Gideon knew it was magic-related. Dimensional magic. Jesse was as anal about his books as Gideon was about his clothes. He didn’t like this. Not one bit. Emma shouldn’t give a damn about dimensional magic. Her interest in other kinds of magic was only what it meant for Jesse and whatever cases they might be working on. Outside of that, she’d never 9


expressed any interest in learning. Her talents rested elsewhere—in the arts, in the tangle of human emotions. If magic couldn’t be used for either of those, she had no use for it. Until now. Rather than return to the stairs, Emma sat down on the second floor balcony and opened the book onto her lap. Now this position, Gideon recognized. She did this in the living room. The book was new, though. For a moment, he debated waking Jesse up. He needed to see this. Except that would mean leaving Emma alone in order to go upstairs and get Jess, and that wasn’t an option. Behind him, the letter opener started turning again. His head whipped around to stare at it. Nothing touched it. No breeze disturbed the air. It simply revolved like it had when Emma had sat at the desk twirling it. Enough was enough. This was definitely Jesse territory. His hand slapped down over the tool, squashing its momentum. The metal was hot to the touch, but it ceased movement immediately, clattering against the blotter from the force Gideon exerted. A small cry came from the second level. Gideon looked up in time to see Emma crumple to the side. Forgetting the opener, Gideon flew up the stairs, three at a time. The book had slipped from Emma’s lap, and he pushed it the rest of the way off to bundle her in his arms. Her body was warm, too, her temperature slightly elevated. Not feverish, and certainly not as warm as the letter opener, but enough to be noticeable, enough for him to rise to his feet. 10


She hung limp against him as he carried her out of the library and back to their room. If not for the heat rising from her skin, he would have just thought her asleep. Even her pulse was completely normal, and her eyes darted behind their lids like she was in REM. What he’d seen hadn’t been normal, though. Jesse was still in the same position when Gideon laid Emma out next to him. As soon as her arm brushed Jesse’s, she rolled onto her side to snuggle into his chest. He, in turn, drew her in even closer, his head turning to brush a kiss against the top of her hair. He wasn’t awake. It was an automatic response. Gideon had witnessed it time and time again, just further proof of the connection between them. When Gideon dared to brush his knuckles down the side of her neck, a faint jolt leapt into him. It went straight to his cock and made his ears hum. A softened version of what touching her awake felt like. She was back. From wherever she went when she slept. Gideon sighed as he sat back down in the chair by the window. Tomorrow, he and Jesse were going to have to discuss what to do about this, once and for all. They couldn’t afford to hide their heads in the sand any longer. Emma wouldn’t want them to. Tonight, he would watch. Wait. Guard what was his. He’d made a promise—to them, to himself. He wouldn’t break it for a few hours of lost sleep.

11


CHAPTER 2 Jesse knew as soon as he stepped into the kitchen that the morning was going to be a long one. Michelle and Dominique wore identical frowns. Dominique was also glaring with all the narrowed-eye intensity she could muster. Jesse briefly considered turning around and going back upstairs, to where Gideon still slept. Gideon wouldn’t mind if Jesse decided to hide in bed for the rest of the day, and Emma would probably join them. Unfortunately, Michelle would have zero compunction about barging into the room if Dominique was in one of her moods, and Michelle didn’t want to deal with her. He never complained about them both living there, but only because if 12


he did, Gideon would kick them out. And Michelle was still a little too weak to live on her own, even with Dominique’s help. Which might not be forthcoming, because Dominique was quickly losing patience with her current guardian. “Jesse! Will you tell Michelle that she doesn’t control my life?” Jesse sighed as the fantasy of crawling back to bed evaporated. “Good morning to you, too. And she does control your life.” “No, she doesn’t. I’m almost sixteen. I can make my own decisions.” A single glance at Michelle’s face told Jesse all he needed to know about how she felt about that declaration. Jesse poured himself a cup of coffee, sensing that he would need at least one to get through this conversation. “What decision would you like to make on your own?” “Brittany and Marcy are going to a Beyonce concert, and they have an extra ticket. They invited me.” “Right. And who will be escorting you to this concert?” “We’re old enough to go to a concert by ourselves.” “No.” “What?” Jesse sipped from his cup, careful not to burn his tongue. “I said no.” “But Brittany’s mom is letting her go. And Marcy’s parents don’t care.” Jesse nodded. “I guess Marcy’s parents just love her more than I love you. What can you do?” 13


Dominique’s face twisted with annoyance. “I never get to do anything fun.” “I know, it’s tragedy worthy of Shakespeare. But maybe I can cheer you up.” Dominique folded her arms and arched her eyebrow. It was a little frightening how fast she was growing up. Every day, she was a little bit closer to the woman she would become. Jesse found that thought more than a little horrifying—she would want to date soon. Very soon. “How?” “I happen to know that The Roots are going to be in town next month. And Emma’s already bought tickets.” The dark clouds disappeared from her brow, and she actually smiled. “Can I invite Brittany and Marcy?” “Sure. Now get moving or you’re going to be late for school.” Dominique paused long enough to kiss his cheek before gathering up her books and heading out the back door. Jesse smiled, feeling good about the averted storm. He would have to remember to buy tickets for the concert now, but at least he knew that Emma did, in fact, like the band, so convincing her to cover for him would not be a problem. His sense of satisfaction faded when he noticed Michelle was still frowning. “You shouldn’t do that.” “Do what?” “Bribe her into behaving.” “I’m not.” 14


“What do you call that then?” “I call it insurance that she’s not going to sneak out and go to the Beyonce concert anyway, because she’s like a little escape artist. I swear, I’m going to have to put bars on her window.” “That’s why you shouldn’t bribe her. She needs consequences, not concert tickets.” “You should write a book, Michelle. Meanwhile, I’m doing the best that I can here, okay? I never asked to be somebody’s father figure.” “I’m just saying that she needs boundaries.” “She has boundaries. I told her she couldn’t go to a concert without supervision. I threatened to put bars on her window. She doesn’t quite run this house yet.” “You should have grounded her.” Jesse blinked. “For what? Asking if she could go?” “For talking back to me. She’s got a smart mouth.” “Oh, for Christ’s sake. Are you all right?” “Why wouldn’t I be all right?” Jesse topped off his coffee and settled in the chair across from her. “Because, in general, you only act this way when there’s something else bothering you. At least you can pretend to control Dominique.” Michelle sighed. “It’s been a month.” “Yeah, so? I haven’t been neglecting anything or too distracted for my training.” “You have been.” “We still work together every day. You already know I’m 15


not going to devote my whole life to being a Guardian, so what is it you want from me?” “The final test.” Jesse looked away from her. He didn’t want to talk about the final test—whatever it was—because he didn’t want to assume all of Michelle’s duties. He didn’t want to take her power and her strength from her. He didn’t want to make her weaker. To be the reason that she would die. The minute he completed the assigned task would be the minute that began the countdown to her demise. “I told you we shouldn’t do that until you’re healthy.” “I’m as healthy as I’m going to be.” “I don’t think now is a good time.” “Jesse, with all due respect, it doesn’t matter what you think.” “Well, Michelle, with all due respect, it should. I’m the one who is going to have all the new responsibilities. I’m the one who is going to have to watch you…” “What? Die? I don’t want to live forever anymore.” “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” “We’re going to talk about it. And you’re going to have to talk to Emma.” Jesse narrowed his eyes. “Why?” “She doesn’t know you’ve changed.” “I told her everything.” Including the horrible, hellish weeks immediately after she disappeared. The days when he believed he would see neither her nor Gideon again. The only thing he hadn’t described was exactly how he learned of his 16


new powers—she didn’t need to know that he was trying to kill himself even if she could guess. “But you’ve never shown her.” “What business of it is yours?” “Everything is my business until you pass your test, Jesse.” “What test?” Emma breezed into the kitchen with a smile and the trailing scent of her honeysuckle shampoo. She went straight to Jesse and kissed him on the cheek, her eyes cooling slightly in the scant seconds she glanced at Michelle. “Tell me you saved me some coffee.” “There’s plenty of coffee,” Jesse said, automatically standing to pour her a cup. “The test is the final step in becoming a full Guardian,” Michelle explained. Emma hovered at Jesse’s side. She was always finding little ways to touch him—a brush of her breasts against his arm, a glance across the back of his hand. Now, she rested her cheek against his shoulder, her long hair slipping forward against her cheek. “I thought you were already a Guardian.” “I am, but I don’t have all of Michelle’s power yet.” He filled her favorite mug—the mug nobody had touched the entire time she was gone—leaving just enough room for cream. “She can’t finish the process until I’ve…well…proven myself.” There was no mistaking Emma’s frown or the slight wave of annoyance that came from her before he lost the physical contact. “I would think you’ve proven yourself already.” 17


“There’s more to it than that,” Michelle said. “It’s about his willingness to take on the full responsibility.” “And I’m not willing yet. So I guess that means we’re just going to have to drop it for now.” “Does that mean we can get out today?” Rather than go back to the table and sit with Michelle, Emma leaned against the counter, cupping her coffee between her hands. “I’d like to pick up a new pair of jeans. The pair we got after I came back is too tight now, but my old ones are still too loose yet.” “Sure, we can go anywhere you like.” He studied her face for a moment, searching for any signs of exhaustion. Gideon had already informed Jesse of her adventures the previous night, but she didn’t show any sign of disruption. “Do you want to find out if Gideon would like to come with us?” Her mouth tipped. “Deny Gideon the chance to go clothes shopping? I’m not suicidal, thank you very much.” “On the other hand, if he did come with us, you’d be getting a lot more than a pair of jeans.” “True.” Her dark eyes twinkled. “And we couldn’t sit in Sushi Wabi’s window when you take me there for lunch.” “No. Plus…” He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer. “Gideon gets grumpy when he wakes up.” “I hope you’re going to be back after lunch,” Michelle said. “We were going to cover more magical properties.” “I’ll be back when we’re done.” Michelle stood, gathering her coffee and newspaper. “I’m going to be in the library.” Emma didn’t even glance in Michelle’s direction when she 18


left. “Doesn’t she have to watch the bookstore or something? It seems like she’s never there anymore.” “She’s tired. She hasn’t fully recovered from Foster’s attack with the hurlbat. Besides, I don’t think the bookstore is really a priority for her.” Her thick lashes ducked. Some of her color had returned in the past few weeks, but she still seemed too pale to him. “Because you are.” “Well, yes, completing the process is. We’ve got a lot of information to cover. Plus, there’s Dominique.” “Right. Dominique.” She took a sip of her coffee before tilting a curious glance up at him. “You know, I used to think of your relationship with Michelle as kind of maternal, but the way you two share Dominique…she’s more like your wife, isn’t she?” The coffee Jesse had been drinking spewed everywhere, burning his throat and tongue in the process. “What? What? Why would…” He grabbed a towel to wipe his face. “Why would you say that?” If anything, Emma seemed amused by his reaction. “Because you’re the dad, she’s the mom, and you two are always arguing about what to do with Dominique. She’s even nagging you like a wife would.” “I’m not…that’s not…it’s ridiculous. And she’s not nagging me.” “Okay. If you say so.” Emma set down her cup to reach for the bagels in the breadbox. “And you don’t forgive her for just about everything like a husband would, either. Even if she 19


doesn’t deserve it.” “I don’t. I didn’t just forgive her…you think I shouldn’t have forgiven her?” She took several seconds to weigh her answer. “I think she did an awful thing to you. Not the part about saving your life. But lying to you about Gideon? Taking you away from the one person you had left that would literally tear the world apart for you? That feels selfish to me.” “It was selfish. And shortsighted, and cruel, and foolish, too, because she did think she could keep me from Gideon. Trying to have me arrested so she could take Dominique and then manipulate me into towing the line was even more selfish and cruel. But she almost died…and well, it’s complicated.” “I know.” She took a deep breath as she pushed her bagel halves into the toaster. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” “No. No, you should say something. I know this is really weird. I know you didn’t bargain on waking up in a madhouse, with Michelle always underfoot and Dominique being, well, a fifteen-year-old girl.” “I like Dominique. I always have. It’s just…” She shrugged and turned to the refrigerator. “I miss the way it was before. You. Me. Gideon. Now, it’s like…it’s almost like I’m part of your harem.” “Harem? You’re really running with this whole wife thing, aren’t you?” Her nose wrinkled, though he thought amusement still glinted in her eyes. “And I’m all of a sudden not liking the 20


imagery that’s evoking. Can you imagine Michelle in one of those belly dancer outfits?” “Oh, God. No, I can’t imagine it, and I don’t want to. Stop it. Besides, she’s not going to be here for much longer.” That startled her into freezing. “She’s moving out?” “No. When I pass her test, and she completes the process of giving me all her power, she’s…she’s going to succumb to her injuries.” Emma blanched. “That’s suicide.” “We’re in a strange limbo right now. Neither one of us are at full power. I know that it’s not a good idea for us to stay this way for long. She knows it, too. That’s why she keeps nagging at me.” “Is there any way to reverse it? Give her powers back?” “No. This is a one-way street. Once the process starts, it just ripples through all of the dimensions. Trust me, if we could reverse this, Gideon would have forced her into doing it before now.” He couldn’t tell if Emma’s nod was agreement or acquiescence. But her lapse into silence worried him even more. Gideon liked to pretend otherwise, but for all the moments when she seemed like she was adjusting perfectly well, there was another where he wondered if it was all some big charade and he’d wake up to find her gone again. Not because she wanted to go; he didn’t doubt for a second that she was glad to be home. But because of something else, something he couldn’t control. Like her sleepwalking. 21


“Do you ever miss it? The way it was before?” “Every day,” Jesse admitted. “If I could somehow use all this new power to turn everything back…” He sank back to his chair. “I know some of this was out of my control, but some of it wasn’t.” “You can’t keep blaming yourself for it.” Abandoning her breakfast on the counter, Emma came over and slipped onto his lap, looping her arms around his neck. She was soft and warm, and the love radiating from her pores burned away the edges of his guilt. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. No matter what you think.” “Don’t keep apologizing for wanting to talk about this stuff.” Jesse wrapped his arms around her, holding her closely. Now that he had her weight and warmth settled against him, he didn’t want to let her go. “I’m going to keep blaming myself for it whether or not we talk about it.” Her lips moved along his jaw. “I know. I do the same thing. And then I feel worse because I know I wouldn’t have done anything differently. We did what we felt was right.” “Yeah. But at least you’re home now.” He inhaled deeply, comforted by the familiar smell of her skin and shampoo. “Do you want to go see The Roots next month?” “Oh!” She pulled back, delight brightening her face again. “They’re playing here?” “Yes, at the Lakeshore Theater. But…we’re going to have three teenage girls in tow. And Gideon, if I can trick him into spending an evening with three teenage girls.” Emma laughed. “Good luck with that. What happened? 22


Did Dominique get tickets?” “No. She wanted to go with her friends to a Beyonce concert without an adult. I told her no, but thought it would be good to head disaster off at the pass and promise to take her and her friends to The Roots.” “That sounds like a bribe to me.” “It wasn’t a bribe. Why does everybody keep saying that?” “Because you’re giving her something to keep her from doing something you don’t want.” “And now this weekend, I won’t have to worry about her getting in trouble at a concert. This seems like a win-win scenario to me.” “Uh huh. Of course it would.” “What’s that supposed to mean? It doesn’t seem like one to you?” “Silly man.” She surprised him with a kiss, her lips soft and pliant on his. As soon as he tried to deepen it, she pulled back again, though her eyes continued to dance. “Look at when you’re happiest. When Gideon’s in charge of the reward and punishments. You don’t see how you’re doing the same with Dominique?” “I’m…not. You’re really messing with my head this morning. You know that, right?” The gleam became mischievous. “I could mess with your other head, if you prefer. Michelle isn’t expecting you until after lunch anyway.” Jesse’s body immediately tightened. “I thought I was supposed to take you out to buy jeans?” 23


“That was an excuse to get you alone and looking at my ass.” His hands moved down to cup said ass. “You don’t need an excuse to get me to do either thing.” Her eyes went wide with faux innocence. “Well, as just one of your harem…” “If you mention a harem again, I’m going to turn you over my knee.” Emma pressed against his front, her arms tighter around his neck, her mouth hovering over his. Sweet breath fanned across his lips when she whispered, “Harem.” “Oh, that’s it.” Jesse flipped her over and pulled her loose pants down to her thighs. Despite the weight loss, her ass was still perfect. Jesse actually spent a lot of time cataloguing the various parts of her body, trying to compare her to the woman he remembered. But even though he understood she was still recovering physically, he still thought she was perfect. “Are you going to take it back?” “And miss out on this?” She squirmed against his knee. “The only thing that would make this better would be having Gideon in here, too.” Jesse brought his hand down across her cheeks with barely enough force to pinken the skin. The sound of flesh hitting flesh was surprisingly loud in the kitchen, and his cock jumped as she squirmed again. It occurred to him that maybe he shouldn’t work them both up into a frenzy in the middle of the kitchen, but on the other hand, she did deserve a good spanking. 24


He was a little surprised Emma let him continue. The extra people in the house had made her more private about overt actions, settling instead for the glancing touches and more platonic caresses suitable for a teenaged audience. But she wasn’t arguing now about having her bottom exposed for anyone to see. She whimpered with the second blow, pushing back against his hand for greater contact. He slapped her a third time before turning her over and righting her again. “Should we see if Gideon would like to join us downstairs?” Hooking her legs around him, Emma ground lightly against his erection. “He does get grumpy when he gets woken up. He’ll want to punish us.” “He would,” Jesse agreed. The three of them hadn’t used the playroom once since Emma’s return. In fact, she hadn’t expressed any desire to be punished by either one of them. He couldn’t even put in words how much he missed the sight of Emma, collared and waiting, arousal and anticipation rolling off her body. The playroom was incomplete without her. “Especially if we get started without his permission.” “Oh, he hates that.” Her hand slipped beneath his shirt, her nails scratching lightly across his stomach. “We should definitely do it.” Jesse stood without releasing her. Her arms and legs tightened around him, making him ache for more. He had no doubt Gideon would sense the two of them—the combined force of their arousal and need would be too difficult to ignore. 25


CHAPTER 3 Emma loved being home. She had few memories of how her absence had been instigated and what had actually happened in that interim. There was just the horror of seeing Jesse struck down, of being ripped through dimensions, and then scattered images of afterward, but she remembered enough to make her grateful to be back where she belonged. With Jesse, with Gideon, in the home they had created together. Finding Michelle and Dominique in residence had been more than a little shocking, especially after she found out what Michelle had dared to do to Jesse, but Emma was slowly adjusting to their presence. The important thing was she had Jesse and Gideon at her fingertips. All she had to do was say 26


the word—or if Jesse was nearby, send out a wave of longing—and they were there. They treated her like a fragile treasure they were terrified of breaking. She understood her health had not been the greatest when Jesse had rescued her, but after a month, some of their fussing was starting to annoy her. Gideon, especially, seemed to be holding back. There had been lovemaking, sure, and it was sweet and wonderful, but more and more, she craved what they had had before. She wanted her collar. She wanted the sting of teeth and hard hands too desperate to care if they scratched or pinched. She didn’t want to be the object of their care. She wanted to be the woman that they loved. Jesse’s suggestion about the playroom made her heart leap. She hadn’t been in it since her return except to see that it was still there. Once or twice, she had hinted about moving some of their sex downstairs, but neither man had acknowledged it if they’d even realized what she was doing. But now, finally, things would get back to normal. Within the walls of the playroom, everything was as it should be, as it had always been. It had been in a similar room where she’d first witnessed the depths of Jesse and Gideon’s relationship; it was there where the first and most important rule was honest communication. As Jesse carried her through the house, she clung to his lean frame, glorying in the hands that cupped her ass. Not once had he made her feel self-conscious about the changes in her, and maybe for the first time, she truly understood what he had felt when he’d been so badly scarred by Marcus Brooker. 27


Emma bore no such scars, but there were differences all the same. Differences slowly being erased by time. Gideon was the same way. She loved them even more for that. He didn’t even put her down to unlock the door. A thrill of excitement surged through her veins as they entered. The air bordered on brisk; Gideon kept the temperature lower to keep them on their toes. Emma had always been grateful for that in the past. When she let her walls down to accept all of Jesse and Gideon’s emotions, her flesh heated exponentially. “Did you have something specific in mind?” she murmured against his mouth. “I have several things in mind, but I think we should start with the swing.” He crossed the room as he spoke, and gently deposited her in the leather seat that hung from the ceiling by four long chains. Her fingers closed around the chains, and the swing swayed slightly in the cool air. “What do you think of a blindfold?” Her pulse skipped. “I think that sounds like a great idea.” “Good.” She didn’t take her gaze from him as he crossed the room to the cabinet where the smaller accessories were kept. After a moment, he found the blindfold he was looking for—it wasn’t one of the hoods that would cover her entire head. It wouldn’t block her nose or mouth, or pull at her hair. He also had her collar in hand, as well as nipple clamps that would attach to a fine chain that hung from the ceiling. While Jesse attached the clamps to the chain, Emma pulled 28


her blouse up over her head and tossed it aside, followed quickly by her bra. Her loose pants and underwear came next. The cool leather chilled her backside as she slid back onto the swing. She picked up the collar and caressed its soft edges. “I’ve missed this.” “I’ve missed seeing you in it. Here, let me.” He took it from her and gently placed it around her neck. Emma lifted her hair, holding it out of the way as Jesse secured her collar in place. The leather felt good against her throat, surprisingly warm on her skin. The room had a strong smell of leather, too. “You look amazing. I think Gideon might not be so angry about starting without him when he sees how gorgeous you are.” As he straightened, Emma caught his nape and pulled him back down, whimpering slightly as their mouths crashed together. His lips parted to allow her tongue entrance, and she moaned again at the taste of him, throwing down the feeble barriers she’d erected to let everything she felt flood outward. The relief, the love, the desire…even the fears. All of it. Like it used to be. Because Jesse was the only one she had always been able to trust with them. Jesse whimpered, burying his hands in her hair to hold her tighter as he deepened the kiss. Though he was still dressed, it felt like there was nothing between them. No barriers, no limits, no boundaries. And within the soundproof room, she didn’t have to worry about Michelle or Dominique. About a world that had moved on without her, even though she had 29


only been gone for months. She didn’t want to let him go. She wanted to drown in his kisses, breathe him in until she choked on it. But she had to pull back at some point for air, and she did so, reluctantly, unwilling to release her hold on his neck. “We should have done this sooner.” She licked her swollen lips. They would be even more so before they were through. “Can I see you before you put the blindfold on me?” “Of course.” Jesse kissed the corner of her mouth once more before straightening and unbuttoning his cuffs. He worked over the buttons quickly, then shed his shirt and started on his pants. A part of her expected him to look different. After learning that he was a Guardian with apparently crazy powers, she watched him closely, expecting to see some difference. But he looked exactly how she remembered him. Same shoulders, same chest, same marks on his stomach. Same long cock jutting against his stomach, twitching every time she focused her attention on it. “Do I pass muster?” “With flying colors.” She had to brace her feet against the floor to keep the swing steady, but she couldn’t resist leaning forward and skimming her fingertips along his shaft. He held perfectly still for her. Only the tightening of his balls when she cupped them betrayed his reaction. Pre-come glistened at the tip, and without letting him go, she bent her head farther to lick across the slit. “God…” He gathered up her hair, holding it back from her 30


face as she ran her tongue over the tip again. With his other hand, he caressed the side of her cheek, his skin warm. He shuddered every time her tongue danced over him, and for a moment, it was easy to forget that they had other plans. Especially since her tongue wanted more of his taste, and her mouth tingled to feel the weight of his cock. She cradled his length against her palm and rubbed her cheek down the opposite side. It buried her nose in his musky skin at the base, but she lingered there only for a moment as she skimmed her lips back to the tip. No teasing this time. She dropped her jaw and sucked the head into her mouth, as hard as she could. Jesse bucked past her teeth, and more pushed inside, enough to rest against her tongue in a heavy reminder of his arousal. Jesse kept a hold of her hair, pulling with just enough pressure to make her scalp tingle, but not quite enough to hurt her. His other hand moved from her cheek to finger the leather around her throat. “Gideon won’t be pleased if we have all the fun without him…not that I’m saying you should stop. Please don’t stop.” Gideon wouldn’t be pleased at all, though that would only result in his concerted demands to make it up to him. Which they would. Often and with great enthusiasm. She gripped Jesse’s thigh, keeping her arm out of his way so he wouldn’t stop toying with her collar. The other held him steady so she could suck a few more inches into her mouth. Her tongue traced around the crown and along the vein, absorbing the hard throb of his pulse. She took the turmoil of his love and 31


desire, and held them close, augmenting them with her own before turning it back on him. “I still want to see you in the nipple clamps,” Jesse murmured. “With your hands in cuffs…and your feet in the stirrups. Maybe use the flogger on your stomach…on the top of your thighs…across your breasts.” Emma looked up at him through her lashes, licking one final time along his cock before settling back. “I want that, too. Will you, please, Jesse? It’s been too long.” “You want me to do it?” It took a moment in her desire-addled state to discern what he meant. He’d meant to have Gideon use the flogger, which made sense. Gideon didn’t often trust Jesse to be prudent enough on Emma; the feedback loop their lust made between them often spiraled both of them out of control. But right now, Emma wanted Jesse’s hands on her. It was Jesse’s strength she had to learn, and for as much as everything else felt the same, she needed to be certain, once and for all, what his being a Guardian meant. Would he be able to resist the pull of their emotions and not go too far? She looked up into his darkened eyes. She had to believe that he wouldn’t suggest it without believing it himself. Her tongue ran over her lower lip. “Please. I want this first time back to be with you.” A beat passed. And then another beat. For a moment, she wondered if she had been wrong. Maybe he didn’t trust himself not to go too far. Maybe he thought he was too strong or too susceptible to the feedback loop, or maybe he just 32


didn’t want to do it. Those doubts were banished with his next question. “Do you still want the blindfold?” She shook her head. Part of the appeal of the blindfold was losing a sense of time so that she would be taken unaware when Gideon realized what they were doing. Then it would be about losing a sense of which man was touching her. If Jesse was going to be the one clamping and flogging her, she wanted to be able to see him. Lifting her feet, she settled them in the stirrups, swaying slightly within the swing. Jesse caressed the inside of her thighs, eliciting a shiver as she waited, heart thumping wildly, for him to grasp the dangling chains for the nipple clamps. “I’m going to keep all my walls down,” she said. “I know they haven’t been the greatest since I got back anyway, but I don’t want to miss a second of what you’re feeling.” “You’ve got to tell me if I go too far…or if it just becomes too much,” Jesse warned, attaching the clamps to the chain. He dragged the cold steel of one clamp over the curve of her breast, until a rash of goose bumps erupted across her chest. “Promise me you will.” “I won’t let you do anything that you’ll regret,” Emma vowed. She arched away from the leather cushion when he clipped the steel teeth over the other nipple, her head falling back to let her hair dangle down her back. Her breasts had always been sensitive, and only became more so when she’d been introduced to Jesse’s type of fun. Then, when Gideon had finally bitten her for the first time, he’d placed his marks 33


around her nipple. She’d yearned for that sort of rougher treatment even more ever since. He flicked each clamp, the simple motion of his fingers sending tiny waves of pleasure down her spine. He flicked her left nipple harder, and she felt it down to her clit. Jesse sucked his breath in sharply, a clear sign that he felt it, too. He caressed her inner thigh again, his fingers moving in small, hypnotic circles, until her flesh was sensitive and desperate for more. He must have sensed that, too, because he chose that moment to slap the tender area. Red blossomed over her creamy skin, the shape of his palm. Jerking within the swing pulled the clamps across her heated nipples, almost painfully so. Emma shuddered as Jesse’s awareness of the sharp stabs into her gut ricocheted back at her, and she clutched the swing’s chains, her knuckles white, to focus on her control. “More.” She swallowed against her dry throat. “Please, Jess.” Jesse alternated between her legs, slapping one thigh with his open palm and then the other. He barely gave her the chance to catch her breath before he brought his hand down again. Each slap was sharp enough to make her wince, but not sharp enough to make her jerk away. Heat spread up her thighs, pooling in her lower stomach, and still her body strained for more. He halted abruptly and she moaned with disappointment. She wasn’t ready for him to stop—wasn’t ready for this to be over. He walked over to the cabinet where the whips were 34


kept and threw open the doors. Her pussy clenched at the array of leather and chains. She felt every second he took to contemplate his choice in the marrow of her bones. Her entire body felt like it was vibrating in anticipation of what he might select. She never got the truly dangerous toys. Gideon saved those for Jesse. She did not have his predilection for the edgier games, and blood made her heart ache, even when she knew he needed it like that sometimes. But there were other options more than adequate for her needs, though frankly, in that particular moment, Emma thought he could choose even something with steel tips and get her off. He came back with a red and black suede flogger, its soft tails swishing against his thigh as he rotated his wrist. It was the gentlest of the leather floggers they owned, but Emma knew from experience that it could still provide the best kind of sting. It was simply guaranteed not to break her skin, which she was certain was Jesse’s primary consideration. She held her breath, waiting for him to use it, her eyes pleading silently with his not to take it easy on her. Jesse circled the swing, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully, and she tracked each movement. Each second slid across her skin, heightening the anticipation, torturing her senses. Finally, he brought the flogger down on her tender stomach, with more force than she expected. She arched against the swing, pain and pleasure blossoming in turn beneath her skin. The leather hit her again, in the exact same spot, with the exact amount of force. The sudden explosion of desire racing 35


through her veins didn’t entirely belong to her. Instinct told her to squeeze her eyes shut. It was easier that way to steel against the pain. But Emma didn’t want to block it out. She didn’t want to lose the sight of Jesse’s nostrils flaring, or the pre-come sliding like syrup down the head of his cock. She dug her fingernails into her palms, and the fresh sting that provided twisted with the other already billowing within her skin. For several moments, she held onto it. Through another lash across her stomach. Through the first lash along her ribs. Into the quick tug Jesse gave on one of the nipple chains. As that icy fire laced through her, she added it to the mix, and counted the beats of her pulse against her eardrums as he reached to stroke the red slash across her skin. One. Two. Three. His fingertips caressed her abdomen. It was supposed to be gentle. It might even have stayed that way. Except Emma chose that moment to release the reins on the new pain flooding through her. “Oh…Christ…” Jesse dropped his head back, his mouth open, his throat working as he swallowed again and again. He looked like a man touching a live wire, and his nails curled against her, scratching across the sensitive welt. She cried out, which only prompted him to press harder. “Do you want more?” Emma didn’t hesitate. “Yes. Don’t stop.” 36


Jesse’s nostrils flared, and he shifted the flogger from his left hand to his right, holding it tight enough to make his knuckles white. Her pussy fluttered at the sight of him above her, every line of his body betraying the tension in his muscles. He was holding himself back. She didn’t want him to. She wanted all of him. Completely. The flogger came down on her sensitive nipple. Fire covered her, her body naturally trying to curl forward in protection. He didn’t let her get that far. The flogger came down on her other nipple, and then he grabbed her wrist, his fingers like bands of steel as he forced her to be laid open in front of him. His grip was implacable. Whatever had been charged in him forged his strength. Emma cried out when the flogger came down across the top of her breasts, licking across the top set of puncture scars left from Gideon’s bite. The chains rattled, jarring the clamps. It almost surprised her to hear them. Her ears pounded from how hard her blood was pumping, how fast her heart was racing, and beneath it all, Jesse’s breathing grew increasingly ragged. That staccato rhythm raked at her flesh as assuredly as his transmitted desire did. The hand he held flexed and relaxed in a vain attempt to control it all. At first, it was impossible to predict when the next blow would land, and then where it would land. But it wasn’t long until Emma couldn’t even sense the space between blows. Jesse might have had four hands, each with a flogger, each intent on turning her skin a vibrant red. She thought if she told 37


him to stop, he would. But the words refused to form. She could do nothing but shout, and then, she couldn’t even do that. She writhed against the leather swing, irritating her back and the top of her thighs. Without releasing her wrist, he pushed the swing back, lifting her higher from the ground. She barely realized what he was doing until she felt the blunt tip of his cock against her pussy. He thrust into her without any more warning than that, the long leather strands of the flogger splaying across her stomach as he filled her. Emma scrambled to try and wrap her legs around his hips, but her heels in the stirrups made it too awkward. Jesse withdrew, letting the flogger drag over her clit. Pain mingled with pleasure to force a scream from her throat. Though he’d been careful not to hit her pussy, her clit was oversensitized, barraged by their lust to place her on the brink of orgasm. She had no control of her emotions, and they buffeted around, reflecting back off Jesse only to careen toward him again even stronger. He slammed into her a second time, then a third. Pleas tumbled from her lips, but whether it was for him to stop or fuck her harder, Emma had no idea. The flogger disappeared, slipping from Jesse’s fingers. But the sharp, stinging pain didn’t disappear with it. Jesse used his palm, slapping her thigh and her leg and her hip. The chains rattled around them, growing louder by the second. Jesse pushed at the swing, sending her away so that gravity itself would bring her down on his cock. Her throat grew raw from 38


screams and pleas, and his nails dug into her skin, scratching down her ribs. Everything erupted when he grabbed the chains to the clamps and twisted. The steel teeth scraped over her nipples, and Emma convulsed against the swing, adding more momentum to drive herself onto Jesse’s cock. Vaguely, she became aware of something slick trickling over her breast, but that was only from faraway, the edges of her awareness already darkening in a blissful haze. *

*

*

Gideon didn’t know what woke him up. He shouldn’t have woken up at all. He hadn’t slept all night, staying up until Jesse had awakened so he could share the details of Emma’s sleepwalking, so by all rights, he had earned at least a solid six or seven hours of rest. It was barely past breakfast when the smothering lust jerked him back to consciousness. His cock lay heavily on his stomach, painfully aroused. Every nerve ending he possessed sizzled at attention, like someone had been touching him for hours while he slept. But the bed was empty. The room was empty. The door wasn’t even open. He would’ve sworn Emma at the very least was present, but… Abruptly, he sat up. Emma. She was the only one who could project feelings like that. Only these felt like nothing he had ever experienced before, nearly ferocious in their desire. After grabbing his pants, he slid them on as he raced out of 39


the room for the stairs. The house was silent, but the light held that crisp edge when sunlight seeped through the curtains. The emotions were more intense on the landing, too, and he wasn’t halfway down the stairs when he saw the basement door ajar. He couldn’t hear them, but he didn’t have to. Jesse and Emma were in the playroom. And there was only one thing they could be doing. His fear shifted to annoyance as he went down to the basement. Jesse had been remarkably restrained around Emma, ever since her return. He shouldn’t be surprised that they’d finally succumbed. It would’ve been nice to be included, but this just gave him incentive to be selfish when he walked in on them. The scene he walked in on banished any shred of selfishness. He had the perfect profile view of the two of them in the center of the room. Emma hung from the swing, her hands dangling at her side, her head dropped back, her eyes closed. Her hair was so long, the very tips brushing across the floor. Blood ran down her chest and ribs in thin rivulets—her bruised and red chest and ribs. There were black marks the shape of Jesse’s hand on her slight form, while the flogger on the floor explained the welts. Chains rattled furiously as Jesse pounded into her, either unaware or uncaring that she was unconscious. Gideon reacted without thought. Leaping forward, he grabbed Jesse by the shoulder and yanked him back, shattering the physical connection binding 40


him to Emma. It wasn’t enough to dispel the lust running rampant through the room, but it was more than enough to give Gideon room to stand between him and Emma. “What the fuck are you doing?” he snapped. He fully expected an answer. He did not expect Jesse to bat him aside like he was nothing more than a child. He wasn’t braced for it, and it sent him stumbling to the side. Jesse went directly back to Emma’s body without sparing Gideon a second glance. Emma’s unconscious body. Jesus. Gideon dove low the second time. He hit the back of Jesse’s knees with his shoulders, tackling him to the cold floor with a sharp crack to both their heads. His fist shot forward, the near violent impact with Jesse’s jaw splitting the skin on Gideon’s knuckles. Blood dripped between his fingers, but Gideon didn’t let it distract him from rolling with Jesse a few more feet, away from Emma and the swing. Jesse tried to push himself to his feet, but he was clumsy in his haste, giving Gideon an opening to kick him in his thigh. He dropped back to the ground, but he didn’t stop struggling. Gideon knew Jesse was strong enough to throw him off— probably strong enough to throw him through the wall. But he was obviously too distracted by the lust still pumping through him—his cock was still rock hard beneath Gideon—to realize that. He wasn’t, however, too distracted to try and roll away from Gideon’s grasp, thrashing as he did. His hand shot out. Fingers curled around Jesse’s ankle, jerking him onto his stomach and more fully beneath Gideon. 41


Gideon sprawled across him, aligning their hips, and let his fangs descend. He struck deep and hard. He didn’t suck. He simply locked his jaw and held Jesse, hoping he would get the message. Jesse immediately froze, his body hard with tension, coiled like an animal prepared to spring. Gideon increased the pressure until Jesse finally relaxed. His breath came in ragged, hard gasps, and his body was slick with sweat. “Please…stop…please…” Gideon waited for a third please to fall from Jesse’s lips before easing the tension in his bite. Carefully, he extracted his fangs, ready to strike again should Jesse fight back. When they were clear, he pressed his mouth to Jesse’s ear and hissed, “Do you even know you made her bleed, boy?” “No. No, Sir…no. I didn’t mean to…I didn’t mean…” “She’s not even conscious. What were you thinking?” “Gideon…Sir…I wasn’t…She just wanted me to use the flogger a bit, but she didn’t have her walls up and…I didn’t…please go take care of her. I won’t move.” Gideon glanced back at Emma. The swing still swung slightly from the force of Jesse’s strokes, and her hair dragged across the floor. Her breathing was even, though, strong enough for him to have a moment to take care of a little business first. “You’re right you’re not moving.” Rising to his feet, he grabbed Jesse’s arm and yanked him upright as well, hauling him across the room to the smallest of the cages. He pulled the door open and pushed Jess inside, barely waiting until Jesse 42


had crawled in to slam it shut behind him. “You’re going to stay in there and think about what happened, boy.” The lock looked flimsy, especially in light of how fiercely Jesse had pushed him aside at the height of his crazed lust. On impulse, Gideon strode over to their special weapons cabinet. Using a silk cloth to protect his hand, he took the hurlbat—the only weapon in the dimension capable of causing physical harm to Guardians—off its hook and brought it back to the cage. He jammed it over the lock. Jesse would have to take real damage if he wanted to get out now. Jesse pushed himself into the corner, pulling his knees up to his chest. His eyes were still dilated, his breath still coming in rapid gasps, his heart pounding rapidly. Gideon thought it would probably be awhile before Jesse could think about anything clearly. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I didn’t…I didn’t do anything to make her pass out. I know I didn’t. I wouldn’t.” Gideon didn’t say a word. He didn’t trust himself not to say the wrong thing. After everything they had gone through to get Emma back, Jesse should’ve been smarter. Gideon believed that Jess wouldn’t hurt her deliberately; it was the unconscious damage he feared. With one final hard stare at Jesse, he turned on his heel and marched back to Emma. One of the clamps had come free from her nipples, leaving it raw and oozing where the teeth had broken the skin. Carefully, he undid the second clamp, trying to ignore the hunger that sharpened its claws in his gut at the scent of her freshly spilled blood. 43


It wasn’t nearly as easy to ignore the bruises already blossoming in her porcelain skin. Those wouldn’t fade in minutes like Jesse’s. She would wear those for days. Because Gideon had failed to be there for her. He’d failed to teach Jesse how to control himself. Gently, he took her into his arms. Her cheek rested against his upper arm, her hair a tangle where it fell past his elbow. He didn’t even look in the cage’s direction as he carried her out of the room.

44


CHAPTER 4 Jesse’s back and legs ached from the cramped space, but that was nothing compared to the way his head pounded. It felt like Gideon had put a vise around his temples and tightened it until his eyes bulged. The hurlbat gleamed dully, warning him, reminding him that Gideon wasn’t exactly helpless when it came to Jesse’s powers. But the weapon barely registered. Every second, every single heartbeat, renewed an internal struggle. Should he stay or go? Leaving would be as simple as thinking of a new location. Any place would do. The bedroom where Gideon took Emma. The chapel in the back, where he could collect his thoughts. 45


Or England, out of Gideon’s reach, and more importantly, someplace he couldn’t hurt Emma. Or even another dimension. It would attract Michelle’s attention if he teleported to a distant dimension, lost himself among an infinite number of options, but she wouldn’t be able to find him. Nobody would. With every breath, he fought the impulse to do exactly that. Losing control with Gideon was one thing. Gideon would heal. And Gideon could forgive him because he understood. But Emma…Emma trusted him to be the one person who would never hurt her. And he never would. Except he had. He couldn’t even insist that she had asked him to use the flogger, that she had asked him for more, because she had no idea what she was asking for. It had been his responsibility to set boundaries and stick to them. And he had failed. Completely. She wasn’t safe in her own home. She didn’t even feel like the house was her home with Dominique and Michelle there. How long until either one of them was at risk because of him? What if Dominique asked to go to some concert at the wrong time and he went totally fucking batshit insane and tossed her through a window? Was this why Guardians lived on their own? Or was this a problem unique to him? An inherent flaw that not only damaged him, but put everybody around him at risk? Jesse feared the latter. Losing control wasn’t a rare occurrence for him. He lost control when Gideon bound him and bit him and drank from him right to the point of darkness. 46


He lost control when put at the mercy of dozens of vampires at Sangre. Always, always, Gideon was there to keep a leash on him—literally and figuratively—but now Jesse’s loss of control didn’t just put his own body at risk. He put everybody else in danger, as well. He should go. He could do what Michelle failed to do, and put himself out of Gideon’s reach. The thought barely crossed his mind before he wanted to vomit. His body still had a strong physical memory of the hell Michelle put him through when she separated him from Gideon. It was a trauma he would never forget, and probably never be over. But how selfish was it to stay just because he couldn’t imagine an existence without his lovers? When Jesse closed his eyes, he saw Emma’s bruised body and the murderous rage in Gideon’s eyes. Emma wasn’t supposed to look that way because of him. Gideon was never, ever supposed to look at him that way. When Jesse opened his eyes again, he wasn’t in the cage. He was sitting in the back pew of a church. A small, charming church in the English countryside. The church where he had stumbled across Gideon after believing him dead. Panic instantly gripped him, and his stomach cramped. He doubled over, trying to catch his breath, the pain was so intense. He closed his eyes again, willing himself back to Chicago, to the playroom, to his cage. Within a second, he was back, but the cramp in his abdomen hadn’t eased. He was no longer alone. An unsmiling Gideon stood in the doorway. Not inside. 47


Not out. A faint trail of blood smeared across the side of his chest, obscuring a flat nipple. Jesse nearly vomited again. That was Emma’s blood. “I’ve cleaned her up and put her to bed,” Gideon said without moving. “I used some of that cream of yours. It should help the worst of it on her breasts.” “Yeah, it should,” Jesse said hollowly. “Has she…did she wake up?” “No. But she’s just asleep now. Which means I should be up there making sure she doesn’t start sleepwalking instead of down here trying to understand what the fuck happened with you, Jess.” “You should go back upstairs.” The mention of the sleepwalking was a reminder that Emma was not yet healed, and Gideon had enough problems on his hands. “There’ll be plenty of time to discuss it later.” Even as he said the words, Jesse wasn’t entirely sure if they were true or if he was lying. “I left the basement door open so I’ll hear if she starts moving. Don’t think you’re getting out of it that easy, boy.” Jesse took a deep breath. He deserved to be punished. That much was indisputable. He didn’t want to try to escape the consequences of his actions. He also couldn’t just disappear on Gideon without a word. Otherwise, Gideon would try to find him instead of focusing on Emma. “No, Sir, I don’t.” “What happened?” “We were…we were in the kitchen. Fooling around. She teased me, and I pulled her on my lap to…spank her a little. 48


Then we thought we should come down here, and I figured you’d either sense us, or I’d blindfold her and pop upstairs to get you. But once I had her in the swing, I mentioned using the flogger on her, and she asked me to. She didn’t have her walls up.” “And you thought that was a good idea?” “No…I just…I thought I could control everything. And I was until she…took my hand and made me touch her. The physical contact…it was too much. Every time I hit her with the flogger, I felt it like…like you were using it on me. And she said she wanted more…and if I had been thinking I would have known to stop but…” “But you weren’t thinking,” Gideon finished. “And now she’s upstairs with so many bruises on her, Michelle would cut my balls off if she saw them.” He dug at his eyes as if he was tired. “How many times did I warn you two about the feedback loop you make when you do that? Huh? How many times?” “It wasn’t like this before.” Which was true, but hardly an excuse. He didn’t know if it was because of his Guardian powers, or simply because they had been separated for so long, but the feedback loop they had experienced was absolutely like nothing that had ever happened between them before. “I wasn’t prepared for that.” “No, you were greedy for her, which has always been your problem. Not that this is all your fault. I intend to make sure Emma knows how much she’s at fault for this, too.” Jesse winced. “She’s not. She didn’t know…she probably 49


thought everything would be like normal. Like I’m normal.” Gideon ignored his assertion. “Emma’s also been in a relationship with us long enough by now to understand that any time you’re in a submissive role, it’s your responsibility to make sure your Master knows your limits. Not letting you know you were going too far is on her shoulders.” “No, it’s not. You never need to be told.” “Because I can tell what your body is doing. Have you sprouted some latent Guardian ability where you can gauge Emma’s pulse, or the flow of her blood, or the adrenaline flooding through her?” “No, but I do have the ability to sense when she’s hurt, or anxious, or unhappy…and she wasn’t.” “Right. She was just bleeding. But I guess your eyes must not work when you’re so busy using that ability to sense what she’s feeling.” “You’ve made her bleed,” Jesse snapped. Which wasn’t the most productive response, but he didn’t need Gideon to tell him everything he did wrong. A muscle twitched in Gideon’s jaw. “Not when she was barely a month back from being held prisoner for God knows how long. It’s a matter of boundaries, Jesse. I honestly thought you’d learned that by now.” Jesse sighed. “Yes, because boundaries have always been my strong suit.” “Do you want them?” “You know that I do. Do you think I’d still be here, in this cage, if I didn’t?” 50


For a moment, he thought he saw something flicker in Gideon’s eyes. But just as quickly as it was there, it was gone again. “Then it’s my responsibility to make sure you get them. Starting with a punishment for what happened in here.” Jesse knew that if he really wanted to talk about the possibility of putting distance between him and Emma, now was the time. Instead, he inclined his head. “Yes, Sir.” “Get out of there and get dressed. Emma’s going to wake up any time now, and when she does, I want you to explain to her exactly why what happened was so dangerous. We’ve been protecting her for too long. If you two are going to act out this foolishly, you’re going to at least do it with all the information at your disposal.” Jesse didn’t know if telling Emma the whole truth would have made a difference. He could have the strength of a thousand men—she would still expect him to take care with her. But he wasn’t going to argue with Gideon over it, because Emma still had the right to know the full truth about the situation. Gideon didn’t take a step closer to remove the hurlbat, giving Jesse no choice but to teleport out of the cage. He supposed that was fitting, since Emma didn’t even know he could teleport at will. Gideon’s eyes were hard as he watched Jesse dress. He wished Gideon would stop looking at him like that. “There’s going to be a few new rules for the time being,” Gideon said as he was pulling on his shirt. “The first of which, 51


you will not be allowed to touch Emma without permission until I say otherwise.” “Yes, Sir.” He wouldn’t have expected anything else. He didn’t know what Emma would think of that rule—but given Gideon’s description of what she looked like, he thought she would probably be perfectly fine with it. He stepped into his pants and cinched the belt, unable to remember stepping out of them. He hoped Gideon wouldn’t insist on a full-blown account of what happened, because Jesse doubted he could provide one. Gideon’s gaze was averted to the hallway behind him when Jesse finished dressing. “She’s coming around.” That was it. No other order. None other was necessary. Jesse fell into step behind Gideon when he turned on his heel and headed for the stairs, trying to control his wayward thoughts in the countless paces it took to reach the upper level. Their bedroom door was ajar only an inch. Gideon pushed it open and stood aside, nodding for Jesse to enter first. His eyes were still hard, his jaw still rigid. Jesse slipped by him and immediately looked to the bed, grateful that Gideon had covered her up. Gideon shut the door behind him. “On your knees, boy. You’re going to wait there until she wakes up.” Jesse immediately dropped, his gaze locked on Emma’s flawless face. If he didn’t know better, he would think she was taking a nap. Her emotional walls were still completely down, and she didn’t seem the least bit anxious or unhappy. Jesse let her feeling of peace wash over him for a few moments before 52


putting up his own barriers. He didn’t need to hurt her further by revealing his turmoil. Several minutes passed. The only sounds in the room were Emma’s even breathing and the slight creak of the chair when Gideon sat down. Without being able to see the evidence of what they’d done, it got harder and harder to remember exactly what was wrong. If she was so hurt, how could she sleep so peacefully? That changed when she stirred. A whimper came from her throat, and lines formed between her brows. When she tried to roll over, the blanket fell from her breasts, exposing the jagged, bloody scratch left across her nipple where the clamp had broken through the skin. “Don’t look away,” Gideon ordered in a low voice. “I won’t, Sir.” But as more of her body became exposed, it became harder to follow Gideon’s directive. He didn’t want to see the result of his own thoughtlessness. But of course, that was part of the punishment, too. And so he noted every place where her skin turned a shade of purple. Every print of his hand. Every mark of blood on her breasts and her ribs. He didn’t look away until she opened her eyes, and he was forced to drop her gaze. “What happened?” she murmured sleepily. She pushed herself up onto her side and cried out in pained surprise. It woke her up enough to look down at her body, but even with his eyes averted, Jesse registered her shock. “I guess we got a little carried away, huh?” 53


From his chair across the room, Gideon snorted. “That’s an understatement.” Emma glanced at him for a moment, before looking back to Jesse. “Why are you on the floor?” “Because I told him to stay there,” Gideon answered. “He has something to talk to you about, don’t you, boy?” “Yes. I…I haven’t been entirely honest with you about what has happened since you’ve been gone. I’ve been pretending that everything is normal with me, and that nothing has changed. But I’m not normal. Being a Guardian doesn’t just mean that I take over Michelle’s bookstore and I can do more magic. For one thing, I’m strong. Physically. Very, very strong.” Emma was still frowning. “So? Gideon’s strong, too.” “I’m stronger than Gideon. I could…I have…overpowered him. But unlike Gideon…I haven’t had a couple of centuries to figure out how to use that strength. I’m still adjusting to it. And I know that I am, and so I should not have even put myself in a position to go too far.” “Tell her all of it,” Gideon ordered. “What does any of this matter?” Emma pushed back the blanket and swung her legs around, heedless of whatever discomfort she might have been in. “I don’t understand what’s going on.” “What’s going on is you two went too far. Jesse’s going to be punished, just as you’ll be, Emma.” “What? For having sex?” “For forgetting about rules and limitations.” 54


Jesse didn’t move, though Emma was standing now. “We ignored the danger of the feedback loop, even though Gideon has warned us about that. I didn’t pay attention to your boundaries and limits. And I hurt you because of that.” “I’m the one who pushed you into the loop,” she argued. “I timed it specifically so it would be intense. Because that’s what I wanted.” Gideon shook his head. “You did it without knowing what Jesse could do. You need to be more aware of your boundaries.” Anger replaced her irritation. “I’ve been home for a month now. I’m tired of you two treating me like I’m made of glass.” “You were bruised, bloody, and unconscious. That’s not normal for us, Emma. Even when we didn’t treat you like glass, it wasn’t normal. Even when Gideon bit you, he never took you to the point you passed out. And I wasn’t even…” Jesse glanced over to Gideon before adding, “I wasn’t even aware that I had done that to you.” Slowly, she sat back onto the bed. With his barriers up, it was impossible to tell exactly what she was feeling without physical contact, but the softening of her brow was enough to know that at least his words had sunk in. She shifted her gaze back to Gideon, her dark eyes pleading. “Then punish me if you have to,” she said. “I’m the one who pushed Jesse to go that far. It’s not his fault.” “The blame rests on both your shoulders. Especially if you want to play those kind of feedback games with us. Jesse needs to learn how to control himself so you’re never in any 55


true danger, and you need to realize that sometimes, it’s not about what you want.” “Emma…please don’t try to take all the blame. I already acknowledged that I deserve the punishment, and need Gideon to set boundaries. If I hadn’t…” Jesse paused, unsure of how to continue. Or even if he should. He didn’t like to remind Gideon about the new power imbalance between them, but it was important for Emma to understand. “Gideon wouldn’t be able to force me into it.” Her brow furrowed again. “I didn’t think Gideon had ever forced you into doing something you didn’t want.” “I haven’t,” Gideon said. “Jesse’s always been a willing submissive. But his new status as a Guardian isn’t just about being stronger. It’s about an entirely new perspective on power. Power he never had before. He’s still learning what that means for him. I might not have used force on him before, but Jesse knew that I could. Now he knows I can’t. That mindset makes all the difference.” “It makes you view the world in an entirely different way when you can literally manipulate the fabric of reality to your own whims,” Jesse added. “He locked me in the cage downstairs while he brought you up here to bed. Before, I would have just accepted that I was stuck in the cage. Today, I could have…well…name a place. I could have gone there.” “What?” Her gaze whipped back to Jesse. “You can do that? You never said.” “No. That’s part of the problem. I wanted you to believe everything is exactly the same as it’s always been. But it’s 56


not.” She seemed to crumple a little at that, folding in on herself. Jesse’s instinct was to reach out, but he knew he couldn’t, and clenched his hands into fists behind him to quell the urge. “No, I guess none of us are exactly the same, are we?” Her voice was smaller, too. The dark eyes she returned to Gideon reflected her new position. “I didn’t mean to make things worse. I just…I just wanted it to feel like it did before.” “I know.” For the first time since coming to the playroom, his voice was gentle. “Do you see the mistake you made now?” She nodded. “I told Jesse we’re going to have some new rules here, at least until I’m satisfied you two have learned your lesson.” Briefly, Gideon repeated the no touching directive. “I’m also changing the sleeping arrangements for a while. Jesse’s going to sleep at the foot of the bed instead.” Jesse felt a flare of something like fear. Or maybe it was anger. Not at Gideon, but at the situation. He would rather continue living in denial, because he did not want things to be different between the three of them. He didn’t want to relearn his place in the relationship. He didn’t want Gideon to think that he did not want to submit. Because, no matter what, submitting to Gideon was still the thing he wanted most. “Yes, Sir.” “I’m not doing this lightly, you know.” Gideon made sure both of them watched him before continuing. “This isn’t to hurt you. This is to make sure nobody gets hurt again. How do 57


you think you would have felt after you’d come and seen Emma like that, boy? And, Emma, do you really think you’d trust Jesse the same way the next time if he’d continued on what he was doing?” “I’ll always trust Jesse,” she protested. “And what if you’d stayed unconscious for hours longer?” Gideon shook his head. “Jesse was right. You have never pushed yourself like that before. You would’ve been secondguessing yourself all over the place.” Jesse knew he was going to be second-guessing himself for a long time. Especially since he still didn’t understand what he had done to knock her out cold. But that hardly mattered, because even if she hadn’t been unconscious, she was still sporting an impressive array of bruises. “Should we keep our walls up, too, Sir?” “No.” The answer surprised him. “No walls of any sort. You’re not going to learn how to deal with it if you’re always blocking it off, and we all know that it’s the connection between you two that’s always been the strongest.” He paused, frowning as his gaze settled on Emma. “Unless I tell you to put yours back up, Em, and then you do it without question, understand?” “Yes, Sir.” Jesse echoed her, but he didn’t lower his walls. He couldn’t. Not until he had his emotions completely under control. “Sir, Michelle is expecting to work with me today. May I or should I tell her I’m…busy?” 58


“No, you can work with her today. I’m taking Emma out to pick up a few things this afternoon. But tell Michelle you need to help me with a project for the next week or so. Starting tonight.” Jesse furrowed his brow at the mention of a shopping trip. He doubted that Gideon was particularly concerned with her current need for jeans, and anything he might want to use as a tool for punishment would already be downstairs. But he wouldn’t get an answer if he asked, so he merely inclined his head. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t expect to see me.” “Good.” Gideon stood and came to him, dropping his hand to Jesse’s head and caressing the spot behind his ear. “This is for all of us. You know that, right, boy?” Jesse briefly let his attention slide to Emma before meeting Gideon’s gaze. He wished he had a better grasp of what was going on in his lover’s head. Was he still angry? Or was he just disappointed? And what about Emma? Regardless, Jesse knew he would do whatever he had to do to make sure there was never a repeat of this. He couldn’t live with himself if he ever hurt Emma again. Or ever made Gideon doubt him again. “Yes, Sir.”

59


CHAPTER 5 The darkened house usually relaxed Gideon. It hadn’t in the beginning, but that was mostly due to the unpleasant memories associated with his behavior during the party blackout. But it hadn’t taken long for the night to return to its previous solace, the friend he would always understand best, the comfort of shadows that would always welcome him. Not tonight. Now, leaning against the wall outside the library, listening to Jesse and Michelle talk inside, he felt anything but relaxed. The events of the day still had his gut twisted in knots, and in spite of the calm demeanor he’d showed Emma while they were out, he felt anything but. They had been so careful until now. Emma was stronger, 60


yes, but things weren’t the same as before. They weren’t the same people. Protecting Emma from the extent of Jesse’s abilities had made sense, especially since her sleepwalking meant there was something else going on they needed to deal with. Gideon had wholeheartedly agreed with that decision to protect her. But he’d miscalculated the depth of Jesse and Emma’s need for each other. Their connection had always been slightly different than hers with Gideon’s, or Jesse’s with Gideon’s. Jesse had always had a special link to her because of her empathic abilities. They had exploited that in a lot of ways prior to her disappearance, but the feedback loop had always been the most dangerous. Emma absorbed Jesse’s desire, added her own, then sent it back to him. And because he had the way of being able to reciprocate in ways most humans could not with her, he did the same. The snowball effect had given the pair of them some of their most shattering orgasms. When they had both been human. Now Jesse’s strength had the power to seriously hurt Emma. Jesse would never consciously do so, of course. But the true threat of the feedback was how it became impossible for either of them to think rationally at its height. Today was just proof of that. Frankly, they were all lucky it hadn’t ended worse than it did. He hadn’t meant to react so angrily. He still regretted putting the hurlbat on the cage’s lock. But Gideon knew if he didn’t do something now, Jesse and Emma might not ever learn how to corral their desires to keep anybody from getting 61


hurt. Jesse had told him before—and thank God had repeated it today—that he didn’t want to lose the dynamic of their relationship. It was Gideon’s responsibility as Jesse’s Master to teach him how best to use his strength. For the time being, that meant Jesse conceding the control of his own desires to Gideon, no matter what they were. He knew Jesse was hurt by it. Emma was, too. She had been scarily quiet their entire afternoon out, though she hadn’t voiced a single complaint about his purchases when he’d expected it. That bothered him even more than the fact that Jesse had hurt Emma. He didn’t want to be the bad guy here. But that’s what he felt like. Footsteps neared the door. He didn’t move when it opened and Michelle stepped into the foyer. “Maybe you can talk some sense into him,” Michelle greeted, as though she wasn’t surprised to see Gideon lurking outside the door. “Somebody should try.” “Sense about what?” “Finishing his training with the final test. He won’t even talk to me about it.” Michelle frowned and glanced over her shoulder. “Not that he’s in a very chatty mood today.” Which actually worked in Gideon’s benefit since she wasn’t ready to rip him a new one for daring to punish Jesse. “He’s had a lot on his mind because of Emma. Neither one of them slept well last night. Did he mention I need him for this other project?” “Yes, he mentioned it.” She sounded annoyed enough that 62


Gideon braced himself for a long lecture about how they were doing important work, and Gideon had no right to impose on that. “I didn’t push for details, because I really don’t want or need to know what your special project is. I think I might keep Dominique busy at the bookstore this week.” “That’s probably a good idea.” He waited until she headed for the stairs before slipping into the library. Shutting the door behind him, his gaze scanned the dimly lit interior to settle on Jesse sorting through a pile of books on the desk. “Got a minute?” Jesse immediately straightened, abandoning the thick volumes. “Yes, Sir.” Gideon held back his wince. He’d never really exerted their relationship past the sexual. When it came to the job, he’d always thought he’d done well to treat them as equals, even before Jesse got the powers of a Guardian. But this was what he knew had to be done, and Jesse’s quick snap to his role meant he was just as serious about following through and proving himself. That had to be heartening, in and of itself. “Come here.” He went to the couch and sat down, leaving ample room next to him for Jesse to sit. “We need to talk about Emma’s sleepwalking.” Jesse settled beside him, crossing one knee over the other. “Did you mention it to her while you were out?” “No. I thought with everything else that happened today, her head wouldn’t be in the right place to discuss it. I think we should probably wait a day or two before bringing it up.” “Yeah. I agree that her head isn’t in the right place. I 63


talked to Michelle about it today. She agrees that Emma is in danger of hurting herself if we don’t stop it soon.” Gideon frowned. “You talked to Michelle? Did you tell her what happened last night, or just give her the general idea?” “I told her that Emma had the tendency to sleepwalk, but last night she went directly for a book about dimensional magic. I don’t really believe in coincidences anymore.” “You don’t think we have to worry about Castelain possessing her again, do you?” Because that had been the fear Gideon had harbored ever since the incident in question. This was supposed to be all behind them. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Emma was a means to an end. She wanted John.” Jesse studied his hands for a moment before adding, “We need to tell her about Ethan, too.” He didn’t bother hiding his groan this time. “Damn it, I knew you were going to say that.” “It’s going to be worse, the longer we wait. You think she was upset about us treating her like glass before…” “No, I know. I don’t like it, but I know it’s got to be done.” With a sigh, he rolled his neck, trying to work out some of the kinks in it. “Emma’s upstairs right now, waiting for us. Are you ready? Or is there anything you’d like to talk to me about before we start with the punishments?” Jesse took a deep breath. “When I was in the cage, I…I accidentally teleported to the church in England. I didn’t mean to. I don’t think I have complete control when…and I don’t know if it’ll happen again. If it does…it’s not on purpose.” Gideon didn’t like the sound of that, but he kept his 64


features even. How was he supposed to help Jesse learn control when he couldn’t even control where his body went to in times of stress? “I don’t suppose you thought to ask Michelle about that kind of reaction, did you?” “No, it’s never been an issue before, and I didn’t want to try to explain why it became an issue now. It probably won’t happen again. I just thought it would be best if you knew.” “It is. Thank you.” Though he wasn’t sure there was anything he was going to be able to do about it if it happened again. “Anything else?” “This isn’t about…you still trust me, right?” The question took him mildly aback. “Yes. God, yes. One mistake isn’t going to change that. The biggest reason I’m doing this is because I don’t think you can honestly say you trust yourself after today, can you?” “No, I don’t think I can. After the punishments, will you show me how to treat Emma in the playroom? I have the feeling that as much as we might try to avoid it, we’re going to be in that situation again.” Gideon stretched an arm across the back of the couch to caress Jesse’s nape. “Those kind of lessons will be ongoing. Because I don’t want to deny you the pleasure you get from Emma. Or hers from you. I just want you to be safe.” Jesse leaned back into Gideon’s touch, his eyes closing with obvious satisfaction at the contact. “I know. And I think I’m ready for the punishment now.” For all his bluster, Gideon wasn’t. He had the overwhelming urge to pull Jesse’s head onto his lap and just 65


pet him until he fell asleep. It was too bad Jesse didn’t have the ability to roll the clock back twenty-four hours. What he wouldn’t give to start the day completely over. Dropping his hand, he stood and strode to the door without looking back. “Come on then, boy. Emma’s waiting for us.” “Yes, Sir.” He heard Jesse’s clothes rustle as he pushed himself to his feet, then fell in step behind him. Jesse’s pulse was pounding a little bit faster, and the lightest scent of anxiety drifted from his body. As they reached the bedroom door, Gideon caught the same scent coming from Emma. She stood in front of the full-length mirror, examining her reflection from every possible angle. When he stepped inside, she whirled around, like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Her hands flew behind her back, and her eyes flew to Jesse’s face. A pink stain rose in her cheeks. The way Jesse frowned said her walls were appropriately down, and the anxiety Gideon had sniffed upon entering roiled around the room. Gideon waited until Jesse was all the way in before shutting the door and folding his arms over his chest. “This is all for your own good. There’s nothing to be nervous about.” Jesse inclined his head. “I know, Sir.” He glanced over to Emma again, his eyes slightly narrowed. “I’m trying not to be.” “That’s because you don’t—” She broke off at Gideon’s stern glance. “I’m sorry.” “He might not, but he will soon. Show him what I bought 66


for you, Emma.” Her hands smoothed over her hips in reflex to his order, jerking them away when she caught Gideon’s eye again. She went to the buttons on her blouse, fumbling as she undid them from the bottom, one by one. Any other day, the skin she exposed would have been a creamy, flawless expanse. Today, it was striped in red welts, blossoms of purple and blue mottling her stomach all the way to her breasts. Jesse tried to look away, like it was still too much for him to handle, but Gideon gripped the back of his neck and forced his gaze back to Emma’s body. He didn’t try to resist Gideon’s grip, but his body stiffened as soon he saw the hint of the steel on Emma’s body. They had chastity belts in the playroom, but this was unlike anything they had used for play and delayed gratification. This was meant for extended wear, complete with a series of locks that would ensure she would not need to remove the harness when she needed to use the bathroom. “A chastity belt? Why?” “To make sure nobody falls prey to temptation.” Using his hold, he pulled Jesse closer to murmur in his ear, “Don’t worry. I got one for you, too.” Jesse’s face registered shock. “How long will we be wearing them?” “Until I take them off.” He nodded toward Emma. “Get Jesse’s.” As she turned away to get the bag from beside the bed, the steel of the belt clanked in such a way to make Gideon’s cock 67


jerk. With her back to him, the perfect globes of her ass made him wish he’d put the belt on Jesse first and left her bare to fuck in front of him. He’d say it was to prove a point, but really it would simply be because the sight of her was enough to make him consider forgetting everything he’d said about punishment. Which would totally defeat the purpose of this entire exercise, unfortunately. He forced himself to remain still as she returned to stand in front of them, unsure what to do next. “Strip, boy.” Though he let Jesse go, Gideon didn’t step away. “You won’t be wearing anything but the belt unless I tell you otherwise.” “Yes, Sir.” Jesse obediently removed his clothes, casually tossing them aside. Other people might have balked at the idea of being practically naked for extended periods of time, but not his boy. He had no qualms or shame about being naked. His attention was locked on the belt in Emma’s hands, staring at the points where her small fingers connected with the cold steel. “You know how to put it on,” Gideon said. Emma’s eyes widened, like it never occurred to her that she would be the one charged with this responsibility. Jesse’s hands locked into fists as Emma dropped to her knees in front of him. Despite what happened earlier that day, and despite the trouble that they were both in, Gideon felt the spark of arousal passing between them, and the slight twitch of Jesse’s cock. 68


“Step into it,” Emma instructed, holding the belt at Jesse’s feet. He stepped forward and she pulled it up to his hips. Gideon had specifically chosen this version for the way it would strap down Jesse’s cock. Emma had to push the length into the L-shaped tube first, where it would hold it between his legs and make an erection impossible once the belt was secure. The flow of blood would be interrupted and the worst Jesse would feel was a twinge of discomfort. This wasn’t about pain, after all. This was about control. And considering Jesse could sometimes be a walking hard-on, that made this a true test. A torrent of goose bumps erupted along Jesse’s thighs as Emma’s breath fanned across his midsection. Her hands shook as she pulled the security belt through all three straps. Jesse’s was just like Emma’s in that respect. The steel band ran down his crack, and the fitting over his cock made it impossible for Jesse to even touch his balls. The only way to get out was to undo the locks. The locks for which Gideon had the keys. When she was done, Emma sat back on her heels and looked up at Gideon for her next instruction. “Lie down,” he said. “Jesse has to learn his new place for the next few days.” Emma turned and crawled onto the bed, moving stiffly as she went to the top of the bed and curled into her regular position. Normally, Jesse would settle on the bed beside her, and depending on his mood, Gideon would choose a side to spend the night. But they wouldn’t be sleeping like that again for awhile. 69


Gideon pulled Jesse’s collar from his pocket—he had grabbed it from the playroom before finding Jesse in the library—and secured it around Jesse’s neck. Emma was already wearing hers, and he didn’t plan to let either one of them remove the collars any time soon. Jesse’s hands were still tight fists at his side. Emma carried a similar amount of tension around her shoulders, before she settled on her back with her hands folded over her stomach. “I’ve raised the temperature in here temporarily.” Gideon opened the top drawer and took out the chain-link leash they used for bedroom play. He hooked it in the front o-ring of Jesse’s collar. “Down, boy.” Obediently, Jesse dropped to his hands and knees. Gideon knew Jess might have reservations about the punishment, but this was familiar, just like the nudity. That was partially why Gideon chose to direct him in this manner. Combining the known with the introduction of an unknown would lessen his anxiety, and make the transition smoother. “For the duration of your punishment, you’re going to sleep at the foot of the bed.” He guided Jesse to the point of discussion. “No blankets. No pillows. No clothes.” Gideon tugged on the leash sharply, silently prompting Jesse to climb onto the bed. He did so, setting on his hands and knees until Gideon tugged on the leash again. He lowered himself onto his stomach, his head on one edge of the bed, his feet hanging off the other side. Emma wasn’t quite tall enough to reach Jesse with her feet, but both of them would spend every night extremely aware of just how close they were to 70


each other. And just how much distance separated them. Undoing the leash, Gideon set it on the chest at the foot of the bed. “You won’t be cold,” he said, smoothing a hand down Jesse’s flank. “I promise you that, boy.” His gaze shifted to Emma. “And you’re not sleeping like that. Not tonight anyway.” “Where will I be sleeping tonight, Sir?” Emma asked softly. “Oh, there’s just fine.” He came up and sat on the edge of the bed next to her. Grasping her wrist, he lifted her arm until it was stretched over her head. He nudged her knuckles until they brushed the headboard, smiling when she instinctively grabbed one of the rails. “I’m going to bind your hands. Your feet can stay free, but for tonight, I want you stretched out like this.” He actually wanted her bound to keep her from sleepwalking, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. Retrieving a pair of silk scarves from the nightstand, he quickly tied her wrists. She was true to her word. Her walls were down. He felt every ebb of nerves, every wave of love, every spark of trust. It took all his control not to let his hands linger and absorb even more. Jesse rested his cheek on his folded arms, his half-lidded eyes not missing a single action. Despite the temperature in the room, goose bumps dotted Jesse’s back and thighs. They also spread down Emma’s arms and across her stomach. Though the belt restricted the flow of blood to Jesse’s cock, the unmistakable scent of arousal made Gideon’s nose twitch. 71


As soon as he straightened, Emma arched her back, pushing her breasts into the air. Her nipples were tight, which only distracted Gideon further. “No reaching out to touch her in the night,” Gideon warned Jesse. “If I wake up and find you two in contact, I’ll move you to your cage.” “Yes, Sir.” The words were just as prompt, but there was a certain strain to them now. Jesse thrived on contact— especially since Emma’s return. The two of them were constantly touching each other in small, mindless ways. Because they needed the connection. Or the reminder. “Sir, are we going to sleep now?” Emma asked. “I’m going to put some more cream on your bruises and welts first.” He picked up the clothes they had so casually thrown around and folded them neatly into piles before seeing to his own garments. “But yeah, we’re going to call it an early night. I didn’t get my sleep today, and I’m exhausted. So if I’m sleeping, you two are sleeping. Your schedule is mine for the next few days.” Emma frowned with more concern than confusion. “You didn’t sleep last night?” Fuck. He’d let that slip without even realizing Emma would have no clue. Taking long strides to the bathroom put enough distance between them to ensure the tight rein on his emotions stayed in his control and out of Emma’s awareness. “With you two smelling like sex beside me? Not likely.” Which carried enough truth to bear the weight of his lies of omission. He 72


grabbed the cream and quickly returned. “And just so you’re both clear, I have every intention of using the both of you for my own satisfaction the next few days. While the other watches, of course. It’ll help you build up your stamina against the feedback loop.” Jesse’s eyes glinted with amusement before he quickly turned his head, burying his face and the hiding the quirk of his lips. “Yes, Sir.” Gideon knelt on the side of the bed, dipping his fingers into the cool cream to scoop out enough to cover her stomach. At the first touch, Emma sucked her breath in deeply and froze. The contact might have hurt her, but Gideon didn’t sense any pain. He felt a widening spiral of lust and desire, working its way up his arm, filling his flesh with warmth. He didn’t sense any pain until he touched the ragged wound on her nipple. Even Jesse hissed at the contact he made. Emma’s emotions surged outward to fill the room, hot and anguished, but just as quickly, she pulled them all back in. Gideon grasped her chin, causing her eyelids to fly open and her dark gaze to fix upon him with confusion. “No walls,” he reminded. “You’re in pain. Jesse needs to feel that. He needs to remember it. And not the pleasure-pain he loves so much. Make him feel how much it really hurts.” Emma nodded and muttered her acquiescence before removing the barriers between them and her swirling emotions. They were so strong that Gideon could almost taste them, bitter and metallic against the back of his tongue. Jesse 73


made a small sound in his throat that might have been a groan or a whimper. He had no choice but to feel every moment as Gideon methodically rubbed the cream into Emma’s skin. He was as gentle as he could be, but he did prolong the moment, letting both of them experience the full range of the injury their actions caused. He wiped his hand when he was done, carefully listening to both of their ragged breathing. The cream would eventually have a numbing effect; Jesse had created it after he and Gideon had first started fucking to help mitigate the damage Gideon often did. In Jesse’s case, that meant he healed faster so he could turn around and get some more. Emma’s case would be different in regard to the latter. He hoped. Rising from the bed, he turned off all the lights, pitching the room into darkness. He could still see fine, but Jesse and Emma would be blind. They would have to rely on their open emotions to know what was going on—or at least, Jesse would. He stopped at the foot and ran his hand up Jesse’s arm, ending with a gentle caress at his cheek. “Good night, boy,” he murmured. Jesse turned his head into Gideon’s touch, brushing his lips against Gideon’s fingers. The kiss was brief, but revealed how much Jesse already missed the physical contact he always took for granted. “Good night, Sir.” The hardest thing he’d done all night was walk away. But he did. Because he knew he had to. The bed bent beneath him as he slipped in beside Emma. 74


There was plenty of room for him to stretch out without touching her, but Gideon slid all the way in, rolling onto his side so that his semi-hard cock rested heavily against her thigh. Propping his head up on his hand, he traced the line of the chastity belt with a single finger, savoring the shivers undulating through Emma’s body. “You’re not tired,” he commented. “That’s okay. I’ll just make sure that tomorrow you’re pushed hard enough to fall asleep when I’m ready to.” He trailed his hand upward, skimming over her bruises to go straight for her uninjured breast. Cupping the soft flesh in his palm, he leaned down and carefully ran his tongue around the nipple. Emma caught her breath as pleasure began to eclipse everything else in the room. From the corner of his eye, Gideon saw Jesse bury his face in his arms, muffling his moan. He circled her nipple repeatedly, not increasing the pressure on her tender flesh. Her breath hitched again, accompanying a soft whimper. Her desire washed through him, intoxicating and sharp. “Do you feel the difference, boy?” He murmured the words against her breast, each one etching its own unique path along her skin. Fading puncture marks where he’d bitten her in the past called to his tongue, and he flicked over them with the tip to bring back the memories for both of them. “Yes, Sir,” Jesse murmured, the mattress moving as he shifted his position. Emma flushed beneath his mouth, but her skin already tasted hot from the healing cream. His mouth moved farther 75


and farther from her nipple, seeking out the valley between her breasts, the slope of her shoulder, the skin at the edge of her collar. He passed over the bruises and scrapes carefully, making sure that any pain she felt would be the lightest twinge. His hand dropped between her legs. Emma spread them automatically, but the belt shielded her from any direct contact. That wasn’t his goal anyway. Gideon caressed the inside of her thighs at the same tempo his lips moved along her neck. The pull of her arms above her head prevented him from burrowing in the hollow like he loved to do, but he could still reach her ear. He traced the delicate shell with the tip of his tongue, knowing it tickled more than anything else. “What is Jesse feeling?” he murmured for her only. Emma took a deep breath before answering, her words barely a puff of air. “Aroused. Frustrated. Regretful. Excited. Anxious.” “Which is strongest?” She hesitated a beat. “Arousal.” That was good, then. He had known this might prove dangerous. Jesse needed to be punished for letting go like he had, but Gideon had no interest in alienating him. As long as his arousal was strong, the rest of it would be kept in control. Jesse was far too much a carnal creature for that not to happen. His mouth returned to her breast, but this time, he didn’t bother with niceties. He clamped his lips around the puckered nipple and sucked hard, flicking across the tip with his tongue to make it peak even more. 76


“Oh!” Emma jerked like he had touched a live wire to her flesh. The heavy scent of her excitement drifted into the air. He could even taste her arousal at the back of his throat. She thrust her hips, as if the weight she felt over her mound was his hand instead the cold chastity belt. He flicked his tongue faster and faster, her entire body responding to the light pressure. He knew he didn’t have to touch her to get her to come. There was a surefire way of making it happen, but Gideon wasn’t going to go that far. Biting Emma and not Jesse would be the ultimate punishment for his boy, and this didn’t merit that. He wasn’t sure anything merited that. But he wasn’t going to stop the hard sucks at her flesh, and he let his nails scratch over the inside of her thighs, as close to her pussy as the chastity belt allowed. Her hands gripped the rails, straining against the scarves. He had the random thought Jesse would have torn them out by now. Emma’s moans were ragged, frantic, and Jesse began to echo her. The two of them created a chorus, one that encouraged Gideon to suck harder, leaving more red and purple marks on her breasts. She bent her knees, planting her feet against the mattress and pushed her hips higher and higher, physically rising to meet her pleasure. He let his dull teeth sink into her flesh. He didn’t break the skin. He didn’t add a single drop of blood to the taste of her skin or the smell of her body. But it didn’t matter. That was still enough to make her scream as her orgasm washed through her. Gideon’s cock jerked, aching for something tight and hot 77


to sink into. Behind him, Jesse moaned, and the mattress shifted again. Jesse still wasn’t close enough to touch Emma, but he was straining toward her. “Fuck it,” Gideon muttered. He abandoned the swelter of Emma’s body and crawled down the length of the bed. Jesse was curled up on his side, his eyes wide and hungry as they fixed on Emma, but at Gideon’s approach, shifted onto his back again. Kneeling at Jesse’s head, Gideon wasn’t gentle as he fisted the other man’s hair and jerked back, lengthening the line of Jesse’s throat. “Open, boy.” The second Jesse’s lips parted, Gideon angled his cock downward and shoved it into the wet heat of his lover’s mouth. Jesse swallowed Gideon’s entire length, his throat bulging with the thickness. His muffled sound of satisfaction was a familiar one, and he resisted Gideon’s grip, chasing his cock as Gideon pulled back. He tightened his hold, forcing Jesse to remain still as he pushed forward again. Jesse whimpered, the sound vibrating through Gideon’s cock, as he scrambled for a hold, digging his fingers into Gideon’s thighs, pressing harder and harder with each powerful thrust. Emma’s quick breathing didn’t help. Gideon was already on edge from the shocks he’d absorbed touching her while she orgasmed. The tight constriction of Jesse’s throat around his length only added to it, encouraging him to thrust harder, stay just a little bit longer. Arousal seeped from Jesse’s pores and combined with the scent of Emma’s juices. Gideon had the overwhelming urge to tear the thing off her when he was done 78


and lick it clean. Jesse’s daring brush against his balls broke him. He came with a roar, burying his cock to the root. It jerked within the tight confines of Jesse’s throat, and he swore he felt every single muscle as Jess swallowed each drop. His entire body shook. Fuck, but it had been intense, more so than a lot of their harder sessions in the playroom. Maybe because he knew how badly Jesse craved it. Maybe because he knew he was going to torture Jesse with abstinence after. Maybe because he hadn’t felt the full brunt of Emma’s unleashed emotions in far too long. Maybe all of it. Even after Gideon’s cock began to soften, Jesse didn’t loosen his grip. He held fast to Gideon’s body, licking every drop of come from his length and sucking on the sensitive tip until Gideon hissed. That finally prompted Jesse to release Gideon and drop back against the mattress, his pupils still dilated. Small tremors shook his frame. He looked like he could pounce and happily pin Gideon to the mattress. Gideon didn’t risk looking back to see how aroused Jesse had managed to get. He knew he couldn’t encourage anything that might prompt a rebellion. Carefully, he eased away and brushed his thumb over Jesse’s bottom lip. “Thank you, boy. I’m going to sleep extremely well now.” Jesse wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes dark. “My pleasure, Sir.” Crawling back to the head of the bed, Gideon stretched out at Emma’s side. He was tempted to use her breast as a pillow; she still vibrated from the force of all the lust rippling through 79


the room. He chose instead to rest his arm across her chastity belt and hold her lightly. “I think this punishment is going to work very well.” His eyes drifted shut. “Very, very well.”

80


CHAPTER 6 Emma fell asleep just minutes after Gideon’s eyes closed. Jesse had no choice but to watch them. He wasn’t going to be drifting off any time soon. The chastity belt didn’t cause him any real pain, but his groin was tight, and his trapped cock tingled, a constant reminder that he was still desperately excited. At least Emma was no longer sending him an endless barrage of her own lust and the darker hint of Gideon’s desire and bloodlust. He had vibrated with it. Ached with it. While Gideon brought Emma to orgasm, it was all Jesse could do not to whimper continuously. Now his treacherous mind reminded him that he could break the locks holding the chastity belt in place. Or he could 81


teleport out of the bedroom and give himself fifteen or twenty minutes to calm down. Get a cold glass of water, gather his thoughts, and try to forget about the fact that Emma was only a foot away from him and he couldn’t even touch her toes. He rolled toward her, and the heat radiating from her skin just made it worse. He hugged the very foot of the bed, stuck in an impossible No Man’s Land. He closed his eyes, trying to fake his way into sleep. It was better than being in the cage. He couldn’t deny that fact. But in that moment, he thought he might prefer the cage. At least then, he wouldn’t have to be completely, undeniably aware of every breath Emma took, and each time Gideon twitched in his sleep. Gideon had the patience necessary to prolong this punishment for weeks. The words hung in front of his closed eyes, flaring in time with his throbbing pulse. He rolled to his side and opened his eyes, taking in the details of their slumbering forms. The only reason Gideon had fallen into such a sound sleep was because he bound Emma to the bed. Otherwise, he would have been too concerned to let go so completely. Her shoulders would be sore in the morning. He didn’t like to see her bound. The chains holding her nipple clamps in place was one thing, but there was a good reason Jesse hadn’t shackled her, or wrapped the chains around her gentle curves. Would he make it worse if he untied the scarves? And could the situation be worse? Jesse supposed the only thing Gideon could do was extend the punishment. On the other 82


hand, he had agreed to submit to Gideon without exception— the right to unilaterally untie Emma’s binding was not part of the deal. And he didn’t think Emma’s potential discomfort outweighed the risk. It was Gideon’s duty to see to her, despite Jesse’s instincts. He couldn’t untie her, so he turned his mind to other, more pleasant thoughts. Like crawling up the bed to curl against Gideon and sleep with his head on Gideon’s shoulder. Gideon would definitely find that a pleasant way to wake up, but only until he remembered that Jesse was supposed to be at the foot of the bed. The pleasantness of the situation would be destroyed then. Jesse pillowed his head on his arm and tried, unsuccessfully, to get comfortable. The heavy drapes blocked everything except the barest hint of moonlight, but Jesse’s eyes were accustomed to it. He could pick out general shapes and the occasional movement. And what he couldn’t see, he could hear. Like the sound of soft material rustling, rubbing against wood. The shadows weren’t shifting. Part of Jesse wondered if he was imagining things. But the whispers of fabric kept coming back, spectral reminders of his lovers at the head of the bed. Was a pillow rubbing against the headboard? It sounded too thick for that. But there was nothing else there, nothing but the silk scarves Gideon had chosen to bind Emma’s wrists with, and she wouldn’t… Except maybe she was. Her breathing didn’t sound any 83


different. In fact, he could barely discern her breathing at all. Was she awake? He stretched his senses, trying to feel the soft satisfaction that always permeated her sleep. It wasn’t there. The mattress moved. The rustling was gone, but Jesse didn’t need to hear it to see her pale skin lifting away from the bed. “Emma?” Fuck. He supposed if she could dress and undress herself, make food, and climb ladders in her sleep, she could sure as hell manage a few knots. He glanced over, waiting to see if Gideon would follow her, but by the time she made it to the door, he still hadn’t moved. “Emma?” Jesse scrambled off the edge of the bed just as the door opened, a triangle of light spilling over the dark floor. They had agreed not to wake or disturb her in this state, but it wasn’t even midnight yet. Dominique and Michelle could both be awake, and Emma would be absolutely mortified if either of them spied her in such a state. He reached for her, his fingers curling around her wrist just as she stepped into the hallway. Electricity jumped between them. No. More than electricity, more than any emotion they had ever shared. It was power. Power. It slammed Jesse to his knees, sucked all the air from his lungs. For a split second, the world shimmered in front of him, and the terrifying thought that Emma was disappearing on him again drove his other arm forward to coil around her waist and 84


snatch her back. A small cry came from her throat. In the next second, she crumpled against his chest. “Emma…” His arm locked around her. Nothing—no force in any dimension—would be able to pull her away from him. With his other hand, he pushed her hair from her face. “Emma, honey, are you awake?” Behind her closed lids, her eyes flickered back and forth for several moments before her lashes flickered open. Her breath was too rapid to be relaxed, and her body tensed, as if to flee. Then their gazes met, and it all dissipated. “What are you doing?” she said. “Gideon’s going to kill you for coming up here.” “He’s not. And we’re not on the bed.” He buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply, trying to will his thudding pulse into a regular rhythm. “You don’t remember getting out of bed?” She blinked up at him. “Why would I get out of bed?” “I don’t know. You’ve been sleepwalking. I don’t know exactly why.” They should get up off the floor, but Jesse wasn’t in a big hurry to move. “We wanted to talk to you about it earlier today, but everything got crazy.” She burrowed her face into his chest and inhaled deeply. “I thought sleepwalking was a stress reaction. That doesn’t make sense.” If she wasn’t stressed now, announcing that he felt powerful magic surrounding her and she had also developed a nocturnal interest in books about dimensional magic would 85


probably make things worse. “It might not be a stress reaction. Either way, we’ll figure out what’s going on. And we’ll fix it.” Her lips trailed along his collarbone. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to worry about me.” “I don’t know about that.” Gideon’s annoyed voice filtered from the dark bedroom. “Considering neither one of you is where you’re supposed to be, I’d say that’s plenty of reason to be worried.” Emma started and tried to pull away, but Jesse didn’t give her enough room to budge. Wrapping his other arm around her, he pushed himself to his feet. The power he had felt still surged through him, making his nerves tingle. He didn’t get the sense that the dimension was being disturbed—nothing was trying to create an entrance. If something was trying to get her, he would feel it in every cell of his body. He would have no choice except to fight it. But he still didn’t want to let her go. “She was sleepwalking again. She managed to untie the scarves.” The light on the nightstand came to life to reveal Gideon rising stiffly from the bed. Emma whimpered against the sudden shift in illumination, shielding her eyes by nestling against Jesse’s neck again, but the flash of annoyance across Gideon’s face was only momentary. He caught the open door and waited until Jesse had carried her back into the room to shut it. “That’s impossible,” Gideon said. “She couldn’t have undone those knots.” 86


“She did.” A part of Jesse wanted to settle on the bed with her bundled in his arms and defy Gideon to do something about it. But she was in no immediate danger, and he knew it. So he gently laid her on the mattress, kissing her forehead before releasing her completely. She let her fingers linger on his arms before dropping her hands to the bed. “I don’t know how, though. I couldn’t see in the dark.” “I don’t remember doing it,” Emma said. Gideon frowned. “No, I’ll bet you don’t.” He reached for the scarves that rested on the pillows. They looked like they always did. No tears. No rips. Simply…discarded. “Fuck.” “I don’t think it’ll do any good to tie her to the bed again. Not unless you’re willing to use something like chains,” Jesse said softly. “No, I can see that.” Gideon glanced at the clock, his frown deepening. “We weren’t even asleep for an hour this time.” Emma started. “This time? How often do I do this?” “Too often,” Gideon muttered. Jesse sighed. “Nightly. We take turns keeping an eye on you. To make sure that you don’t make it out of the house or do anything dangerous.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” Jesse glanced over to Gideon, who didn’t give any sign that he intended to answer her question. “We didn’t want to worry you or frighten you over nothing. But we were going to talk to you about it today. Until everything went…insane.” Gideon hardened at Jesse’s choice of words, but didn’t 87


argue with it. “It hasn’t been that big of a deal, Em. Sleepwalking is a natural reaction. And you never really did anything that made us think it could be anything but that.” “Except you were going to talk to me about it today. So something obviously happened.” “It wasn’t…” Gideon jerked the nightstand drawer open and tossed the scarves inside. “You did something different last night. That’s all.” Jesse perched at the foot of the bed. “Would you like me to sit up tonight?” Emma looked back and forth between them. “You actually expect me to sleep again?” Jesse furrowed his brow. “Yes?” She slid further onto the bed, her back hitting the headboard. At her defiant pose, Gideon rolled his eyes. “You can’t really expect to stay up all night.” “And risk walking around the house in just this?” She gestured toward the chastity belt. “Yeah, that’ll go over well.” “Then put on some clothes. We’ll all put on clothes.” “You probably won’t sleepwalk again tonight,” Jesse pointed out. “Typically, you’ll get out of bed once, we’ll put you back in bed, and that’s it for the night. And there’s absolutely no risk of you walking around the house. I won’t let you.” “He didn’t let you out of the room this time,” Gideon reminded. She still seemed reluctant to let the topic go, but her shoulders relaxed, the annoyance emanating from her less. 88


“You two really stay up all night and watch me? Is that why you didn’t sleep last night, Gideon?” Gideon’s nod made her crumple even more. “Oh. I…I didn’t know.” Jesse caught Gideon’s eyes, silently asking if he needed to keep his distance. A slight shake of Gideon’s head was the only answer he needed. He crawled up the bed to his usual place and pulled Emma against his chest, sighing softly as she naturally turned into him. “Don’t feel guilty. You’re not a hardship, you know.” “I’m keeping you guys from sleeping.” Her voice was tinged with anger. “Damn it, I’m tired of making you guys worry about me. Is it really so much to want our lives back to the way they were?” “Too much has happened,” Gideon said simply. “We can’t go back. We have to figure out how to go forward.” His unblinking gaze bored into hers, though it was concern that made it heavy, not something else. “You know that, Em. Better than most.” “Besides, I don’t get a lot of sleep whether or not I’m worried about you,” Jesse reminded her lightly. “I guess we’re going to have to find a new type of normal.” Emma fell silent. Her hair slipped over her face, hiding her from him, but he felt the conflicting emotions swelling like a tide inside her. Anger. Frustration. Trust in the men. Jesse tried to reflect some measure of calm back at her—a trick that had always worked in the past—but all it did was drive Emma to pull away. She looked at Gideon. “May I take off the belt and take a 89


shower, please? Alone. I need some space to think.” Jesse waited for Gideon’s response. He had no idea what to expect from him. He was allowing Jesse to touch her, but Jess knew his lover had no intention of abandoning the punishment completely. He could answer either way and still be justified. “Promise you’re just showering.” “I will. I know what the belt was for. I won’t go against your wishes, Sir.” Gideon nodded. Emma scooted away from Jesse to stand by the bed, holding still while Gideon retrieved a small key and undid the locks that held the belt in place. He was careful not to let any of the metal pieces scrape over her damaged skin as he helped her step out of it, even going so far as to lean in and brush his mouth along the worst of the welts on her stomach. Both of them watched Emma disappear into the bathroom. “I honestly didn’t think she’d get out of the scarves,” Gideon said. “I didn’t, either. When I heard her working on the knots, it didn’t even occur to me at first that she was trying to untie herself.” Jesse sat up, resting his back against the headboard. “I felt something when I touched her. Magic. Power.” Gideon’s dark frown swiveled back in his direction. “You felt something? How? Every time I touch her when she’s sleepwalking, it’s like she’s a void.” “I didn’t feel her. No emotions or sense of what was going on in her head. I felt a different sort of power. And the 90


dimension shimmered for a moment. Honestly…I was scared something was trying to take her again.” Rubbing a weary hand over his head, Gideon sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the closed bathroom door. From the other side, the soft patter of the shower drifted out. Her request hadn’t surprised Jesse. Emma often craved solitude when her emotions and thoughts were a jumble. When they’d first met her, she had been moving closer and closer to an entire life like that, just to escape the cacophony of emotions barraging her on a daily basis. That didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt to get shut out, though. “What are we going to do if someone’s using Emma for dimensional magic again?” Gideon asked. “Other than stop them, I mean.” “Nobody will.” Jesse said it with finality, despite his earlier admittance of fear. “If Castelain tries to enter the dimension again, I’ll feel her. And whatever I felt earlier…it was just for a split second. And it didn’t hurt, you know?” “What does that have to do with anything?” “Somebody messing with that sort of dimensional magic hurts. The pain clouds out everything else until you’ll do anything to stop it. Like when you were baiting the trap for Foster.” “Oh, yeah, right.” Gideon’s exhaustion was manifesting itself. These were details he knew, but his mind was too clouded with other things to remember them, apparently. “That doesn’t really help us figure out what’s going on, though. If anything, it just means something new to try and 91


figure out that we didn’t know before.” He sighed. “I’m getting really fucking tired of learning this Guardian shit by the seat of our pants. Someone should’ve written a manual for all this.” “Oh, God, don’t say that around Michelle. She never misses out on a chance to remind me that if I had spent the last ten years training with her instead of wasting my time with you, I wouldn’t be so unprepared right now. And after she got back from healing in JT’s dimension? I had to hear about it for a week.” Gideon flicked a glance in his direction, a small twinkle finally breaking through the gloom in his eyes. “Maybe you should demote her in the harem for a while, then. That might get her off your back.” Jesse’s face twisted into a scowl. “You’ve been talking to Emma about her crazy notions, I see.” “And a group of young men didn’t show up at the door a month ago, ready to worship at your feet. Considering the way you collect people, sounds like a perfect description to me.” “Well, those guys don’t count. Since you wouldn’t have let me keep any of them.” “And then there was Jonah. And David.” Gideon began ticking them off on his fingers. “Frankie from Sangre. Monique. I’ll bet you would’ve wanted to keep JT, too, if it was possible.” “Look, if I were to acknowledge this insanity, I’d be forced to point out that since none of those people are here, in this house, doing my bidding, they don’t count as a harem. 92


And, incidentally, Emma can get away with this, but you cannot.” Jesse lifted his chin with a touch of defiance. “It makes you look like a hypocrite.” “A hypocrite? I have you, and I have Emma. I would be more than happy to kick everybody else out on their ear and lock the doors for eternity.” “Even if you kicked out Michelle and Dominique, you would still have a harem. And let’s not forget who got to play with Jonah the most. Hint, it wasn’t me.” “I only did that because it drove you crazy.” Jesse laughed. “You’re such a liar. You did it because the boy had a nice, willing ass.” “An unexpected bonus.” “Huh-uh. I half expect you to show up soon with one of those little I Dream of Jeannie outfits for Emma.” “Better Emma than Michelle.” “I’m not talking to you for the rest of the night.” “Hey, she’s your wife.” Gideon rested back on his elbows, his good humor back. “Considering by all rights, I should make you take your place down here again before Emma gets back and I’m not, you should be nicer to me.” Jesse moved so he was laying at Gideon’s side, propped up on his elbow. “I am being nice to you. You’re my favorite concubine.” Though Gideon scowled, Jesse recognized it for the put-on it was. “You’re lucky you look so cute in that belt, boy.” “It matches my coloring. Too bad I can’t show it off to anybody.” 93


“Who said I wasn’t going to let you show it off?” Gideon’s sudden lean forward to crush their lips together bruised Jesse’s mouth only long enough for his cock to twitch in search of attention, though the belt kept an erection impossible. Then Gideon was back, gazing at him with enough love in his eyes to remind Jesse why it was exactly they were all going through this. “But those are details I’m saving for later. Right now, we need to decide what to do about Emma’s sleepwalking.” “For now, I think the same thing we’ve been doing. Keep an eye on her, make sure she gets some rest, and I’ll start researching. I know it feels like we’re just shooting blind here, but at least I have a starting place now.” “And, fingers crossed, dimensional magic that doesn’t hurt you is a very narrow topic so we get some answers soon.” “Yeah. Fingers crossed.” Jesse thought chances were good that he would be able to find an answer. He just hoped that the answer didn’t raise more questions.

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CHAPTER 7 Jesse was far too tall to be stuck under a desk. He couldn’t quite kneel at Gideon’s feet, and he couldn’t quite sit, either. The chastity belt was heavy around his hips, making his situation even more awkward. His muscles ached with the strain of contorting and supporting himself. He might have voiced his discomfort, except for two things. The first was simply that Gideon wouldn’t have cared. He didn’t wedge Jesse under the desk because he thought it would feel good, after all. The second reason Jesse couldn’t mention his discomfort was that he couldn’t speak at all. Gideon’s cock filled his throat, making all but the smallest sounds completely impossible. 95


Gideon lounged in his seat, his hand resting firmly on the back of Jesse’s neck. Rough fingertips played with his nape, and when Jesse would reach the point where he was sure he was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, Gideon used the stray curls to tug him off his cock, letting him gasp for breath for a few seconds before fucking his mouth again. “Stop that,” Gideon scolded. For a brief moment, Jesse thought the comment was directed to him, but soon realized that was foolish. Gideon hadn’t said a word to him since stuffing his throat. The order had to be directed at Emma. “But—” “No buts. I don’t care if Jesse is enjoying this. Sometimes, you have to dissociate from what he’s feeling. Touching yourself is not allowed.” Jesse squeezed his eyes shut, easily imagining Emma on the chair by the door, her fingers dancing over her hard nipples, her legs coyly crossed, her skin flushed. The thought made his groin tingle—if he wasn’t in the damned belt, he would be as hard as a rock. A part of him wished that he could put his walls up. The pleasure passing between the two of them was steady, like a regular electrical current. Gideon tugged him back and let him breathe. The salty taste of Gideon’s pre-come coated his throat and the roof of his mouth. He swallowed once, and the back of his throat felt a little sore, a little bruised. But he still moaned with satisfaction when Gideon pulled Jesse down on his cock again. “What is this supposed to teach him?” Emma asked. She paused and took a deep breath. “He already knows how to 96


suck you off, Sir.” Gideon’s hand tightened painfully on Jesse’s head. Jesse didn’t blame him. In her own way, she was testing Gideon’s limits with her not-quite impertinence. “It’s giving him direct pleasure to contrast with the pain he’s going to feel as soon as we’re done here.” “Pain?” “You’ll find out.” Yanking Jesse off, Gideon grasped his cock and slapped his cheeks with it, leaving trails of saliva and pre-come slicking his skin. In spite of being short of breath, Jesse chased after it, though he didn’t get the head back between his lips until Gideon guided it there. “What did I tell you, Em? Do it one more time, and I’m putting the clamps back on your nipples. With weights. Even on the one that’s so sore.” The mention of the nipple clamps introduced a new image to Jesse’s frantic mind. It wasn’t the image of her bruised and unconscious, but one of her writhing with delight, her body trying to move away even as she begged for more. He tried to push the thought out of his mind, but he felt like he was already losing a little bit of control. How could he school his wayward thoughts when Gideon’s cock rested so heavily against his tongue? He shifted, trying to settle more weight on his knees, leaning forward to inhale more of Gideon’s familiar scent. Gideon stretched his leg, blocking Jesse’s access. Though he grunted in annoyance, Jesse took the few inches he could get, the tip stopping short of disappearing down his throat 97


again. Gideon didn’t move. He didn’t do anything but tighten his grip, letting Jesse know without words that he wasn’t to fidget or try and take more. All Jesse could do was kneel there and suck hard on the thick shaft. After a minute or two of this, Gideon said, “What is he feeling now, Em?” Emma took a deep breath. “Pleasure. He’s content, too, but he wants more, so there’s a little frustration. He’s aroused…it’s getting sharper and sharper.” Jesse knew that Gideon didn’t need his agreement, but he moaned—as much as he could—to assure Gideon that she was right. His lower stomach was tight, too. Like Gideon had just given his balls a good, hard squeeze. He wanted to tear the belt off, but at the same time, a part of him liked the restriction. The fact that his pleasure did not matter one bit. All that mattered was making Gideon feel good. “Then it’s time.” The chair protested as Gideon pushed back. His cock popped free of Jesse’s mouth, but Gideon tucked it back into his open pants before Jesse could protest. “Out, boy.” Jesse crawled out from under the desk, his thighs and back stiff. His knees were a little sore, too. This was the second full day since their punishment began, and Jesse had spent the majority of the time on his knees, either following Gideon around the house, or sitting at his feet, waiting for acknowledgement. Sometimes, Gideon would work for hours, never acknowledging either Jesse or Emma. Gideon hooked a familiar, heavy chain to his collar, a sign 98


that they were going to be leaving his office. “Time for what, Sir?” Emma asked. Both men’s gazes strayed to where she knelt by the door. She wore a long flowing skirt over the chastity belt, and a gauzy top that didn’t hide the fact she was braless. Her dusky nipples poked against the flimsy fabric, taunting Jesse to crawl over and take them between his teeth. He’d even welcome the covering over them. The extra scrape against her skin would drive Emma crazy. Fantasizing about it was certainly doing the trick for Jesse. “You’ll see,” came the cryptic response to her question. He led Jesse to the door, beckoning Emma to join them as they left the library. She fell into step behind them. Gideon allowed her both the luxury of clothing and walking, but it was always the sheerest of covering, and she had to position behind Gideon and Jesse with her eyes cast to the floor. Reaching the basement door, Gideon paused. “You can walk down the stairs, boy. But back on your knees when we’re down.” “Thank you, Sir,” Jesse muttered, straightening. His feet and legs tingled from the sudden addition of his weight, but he managed to support himself without falling. He glanced over his shoulder, but Emma still gazed at the floor, her long hair shielding her face. He hadn’t had a chance to touch her once since the night she discovered she was sleepwalking. In fact, except when Gideon pushed him to his knees beneath the desk, Jesse was forced to live without physical contact of any kind. 99


He hated that. They reached the bottom of the stairs and Gideon unlocked the playroom door. He had the locks installed and kept the only key on him at all times. As the door opened, a cool draft rushed over Jesse’s heated skin. It felt like Gideon had turned the thermostat even lower than usual. Gideon yanked hard on the leash when Jesse didn’t move quite fast enough. He stumbled across the threshold, falling to his knees again to crawl as he’d been instructed. Gideon led him to the spot beneath the hook in the ceiling and dropped the chain. “Stay, boy.” He didn’t wait to see if Jesse complied. Turning on his heel, he went back to where Emma stood by the door. After kicking it shut, he stood behind her and grasped her chin, lifting her head so her eyes met Jesse’s across the room. “This is the part where you two learn about separating the pain from the pleasure.” A wave of trepidation came from Emma. “What are you going to do, Sir?” she said, barely louder than a whisper. His deft fingers undid the front of her blouse. “First things first. You need to be naked, too.” Gideon pushed the blouse down her shoulders, the wisp of material falling from her arms to float to the floor. He hooked his fingers around her skirt and slowly pulled it down her thighs, revealing first the chastity belt, and then her creamy skin. Bruises still covered her stomach and chest, but with the passage of time and the help of the cream, they had faded considerably. Her nipple, however, was still scabbed over and 100


tender. Seeing her naked did nothing to dampen his already heightened arousal. She looked up, catching Jesse’s gaze as Gideon ran his hands up her body, and it was like a fist to the gut. He honestly did not know how much longer he could tolerate feeling her without ever touching her. “You’re going in your cage, Emma.” Gideon caught her wrist. “And you’re going to keep all your walls down, just like you’re doing now. That’s all.” Jesse tracked them as they moved through the room. His view of Emma switched from her breasts to her gorgeous ass, but then even that was taken away from him when she stepped inside her cage and Gideon blocked the view. Once she was secure, Gideon pocketed the keys and strode to the back cupboard. He hummed under his breath as he filtered through its contents, extracting a pair of cuffs and the heaviest set of chains they owned. Jesse’s pulse quickened. He knew what came next. Arms stretched high overhead, his muscles taut, Gideon naked in front of him with a whip, or a flogger, or even another set of chains to beat him with. Gideon wasn’t naked this time, unfortunately. And Jesse’s cock wasn’t exposed for the vampire’s pleasure. There were still no further explanations as Gideon returned to the cupboard. Jesse had to twist where he hung from the ceiling in order to see his lover pull on a pair of leather gloves. Gideon typically did not wear gloves when handling a whip or flogger. He liked the way the leather felt against his hand. When he used a chain, he liked the way the links 101


vibrated in his palm with each blunt hit. Jesse caught his breath, now sharing Emma’s trepidation. It crawled down his spine like something slow and slimy. He knew what Gideon was going to do just before he reached for the hurlbat. “Oh. Sir…why?” “Because it hurts you.” The curved weapon caught the light as Gideon took it out. He needed gloves to protect himself from the weapon searing away his skin. It wasn’t meant to be handled by anyone but a Guardian. “Anything else I use on you, you’ll enjoy too much.” “But why hurt him at all?” Emma’s almost fearful question came without the proper respect, but Gideon didn’t call her on it. “Part of the problem with you two is that Emma takes everything you’re feeling, boy, and experiences it as pleasure. She needs to learn not to convert pain into something enjoyable.” “But…she only does that because I enjoy pain, Sir. How can she separate it?” Gideon returned to stand in front of him, only inches apart. His nostrils flared, and a bolt of lust shot through Jesse’s veins. “Because you and I both know this is going to hurt you, but we also know you’re going to end up enjoying it anyway. Because you’re going to bleed, and I’m going to be standing here, smelling how delicious you are, and there’s going to be that little thing inside you that’s going to wriggle with hope that your blood will make me break. That maybe I’ll be a little selfish and take a taste of you. So she’s going to get the 102


excitement twisted up in it all anyway. But trust me, boy. This will hurt. There will be pain. And Emma is going to feel that, too.” Even Gideon’s assurances that there would be pain made his skin tingle with anticipation. Emma would feel it. Another flare of Gideon’s nostrils told him that Gideon sensed it, too. But Emma didn’t react to the promise of genuine pain the way he did. She hated it when Gideon pushed Jesse right to the edge, and then kept pushing until Jesse’s whole world was blood and exquisite agony. She would feel the pain, and she would automatically hurt for him, and send those emotions right back. There wasn’t going to be any pleasure in the room for her, except through Jesse. He inclined his head. “You want me to learn the difference between my pleasure and her pain, Sir?” “That, too.” He took a step back, adjusting his grip on the hurlbat. “Ready, boy?” Jesse tried to swallow, but his throat was too dry, too sore from earlier. He closed his fingers around the chains supporting him, his muscles automatically tensing, bracing for what would come next. “Yes, Sir.” The hurlbat was the one weapon in the world that could kill Jesse. If Gideon drove it into his chest, it would slice through his heart, probably killing him instantly. The damage it inflicted wasn’t irreparable, but Jesse wouldn’t recover from it in the blink it took other injuries to heal, either. These would take days to mend. 103


Emma knew that. His gaze was fixed on the silver blade as Gideon set it along Jesse’s chest. He didn’t move it. He didn’t even rock it. But the weapon was finely honed. At the very first contact, Jesse’s skin split open in a skinny river of red. Emma cried out at the first sight of the blood, but Jesse bit back his automatic reaction. It felt more like Gideon had burned him than cut him. The point of contact between his skin and the hurlbat was the locus of the pain, but it spread through his chest in a slow, throbbing circle. Gideon tilted his hand, applying a tiny amount of pressure, and the blade cut deeper into his chest, creating a thicker stream of blood. Emma’s emotions slammed into him, momentarily distracting him from the physical burn and Gideon’s proximity. He easily caught her concern, but there was also the vague sense of horror, like she wanted to look away. When he tore his gaze from what Gideon was doing, he saw she was still staring at them, her face shadowed by the bars. “It kills her seeing you like this.” Gideon’s voice was for Jesse’s ears only. “I don’t need to be a part of the connection you two have to know that.” Jesse nodded, but he knew he wouldn’t, couldn’t, stop Gideon. He wanted to be hanging helpless, bleeding for his lover, regardless of the source of the blood. And for the first time since Emma’s return from Castelain’s dimension, Jesse did not have a hard time separating his emotions from Emma’s, or separating the real pain of the hurlbat from Emma’s reflected pain. 104


“You don’t have to make her watch, Sir,” Jesse tried. “Why? Because you want to protect her?” The hurlbat carved an arc over his right nipple. Blood dripped down over the puckered flesh, sensitizing it further. “There are more ways than that to protect her, boy.” When the blade caught the tender skin of his inner arm, Jesse hissed at the same time Emma cried out. He glanced over to see her hands gripping the cage, knuckles white, mouth pinched. But even as the sting radiated through his body, he couldn’t ignore the burn it added to his blood. Under other circumstances, he would beg for more. He would plead with Gideon to clean the blood away, then slice Jesse open again to feed until he was glutted. The oblivion that always followed made it all worth it. The look in Gideon’s eyes when his lips and fangs were stained scarlet made it even more so. Jesse forced himself not to twist and turn in the chains. He had to hold completely still. Even the tremors in his taut muscles were dangerous. A single wince, an unfortunate inch, and the blade would bury itself too deeply. “What else can I do, Sir?” Gideon dragged the very tip of the hurlbat around Jesse’s arm, following it to step behind him. He wasn’t sure if it was better or worse not seeing Gideon now. He would have no idea where the next cut would be. “You’re so good at those mental barriers.” Gideon’s hard body pressed to his back, the hurlbat flat against his shoulder blade. It wasn’t cutting, but the metal burned into his skin. 105


“There’s got to be a way to sift out what you send to her. Give her the pleasure without the pain.” Jesse squeezed his eyes shut, trying to concentrate. It had always been all or nothing with Emma. Either she experienced every single feeling and thought that passed through him, or he blocked her off completely, defensively. He had never tried to shield her from certain emotions while allowing others to pass through. “I don’t…I don’t know how, Sir.” “Then we keep trying until you figure it out.” He gripped Jesse’s shoulder in a bruising grip, holding him firmly enough to keep from swinging in the chains. The tip of the hurlbat met Jesse’s skin, sinking past the surface, past muscle, past sinew to meet the hard edge of bone. “Don’t!” Emma cried out. “God, Gideon, please don’t do this!” “It’s okay.” Jesse gasped, knowing she would never believe him. Not while she was intercepting every wave of pain that rolled from his body. He closed his eyes, trying to block out Emma’s ragged breathing, and Gideon’s presence, and the sharp edge of the hurlbat, and the fresh river of hot blood gushing down his back. He imagined the pain as a huge red, pulsing ball. It hung in front of his eyes as real as the hurlbat in Gideon’s hand. He saw it the same way he saw locations right before he teleported, the same way he saw other, distant dimensions. Every single sharp moment, every single bit of discomfort, every single twinge went into that ball. He built a literal wall 106


around it, brick by brick, blocking it from view. Putting it out of Emma’s reach. Gideon’s fingers slipped along Jesse’s slick skin, and he resituated his grip with a tightness that jolted Jesse from his concentration for a moment. Fresh droplets of blood gathered in the waist of the chastity belt. It had to be driving Gideon crazy. What about Emma? She couldn’t see the devastation to his back. She’d reacted earlier to the waves of pain. He tried to reach for what she might be feeling now without losing his tenuous hold on his walls. Anxiety like bitter smoke in his nostrils. A sense of loss. Regret. But not pain. He couldn’t feel the familiar echoes of his emotions at all. Gideon continued to caress his back, spreading the blood up and down his spine. Had he vamped? Was he closer to breaking, to taking a taste, to tossing the hurlbat aside in favor of his teeth? It seemed like years since Gideon had sunk his teeth into Jesse’s neck. Was it possible for him to come without having a hard-on? Jesse didn’t know, but he really, really wanted to find out. Without losing the wall around the pain, he imagined a web. A big purple one that grew larger and larger. It contained that desire, the pleasure, the lust, the throat-closing need. And he tried to send it all to her. Emma cried out. Behind him, Gideon jerked, and the hurlbat slashed a jagged slice down Jesse’s side. Jesse’s eyes snapped open to see Emma slumped against the cage’s bars, her body shaking like a fragile leaf caught in a gale. 107


“Emma…” Tossing the hurlbat to the floor, Gideon bolted across the room, the key in his hand long before he reached the cage. It took a moment to get the door open, but then he was reaching in, and Emma was crumpling into his arms, her dark eyes glazed over. Jesse twisted, trying to see more of Emma, but Gideon turned to cradle her, blocking Jesse’s view. His back and side throbbed, and now it was just pain, without the promise of anything more. Despite Gideon’s earlier instructions, he walled himself completely off, shielding himself from whatever pain Emma might have been feeling—and shielding her from his tumult. “Emma? Are you okay? Is she okay?” “Her heart’s racing, but—” “I’m good. I’m fine.” She didn’t sound fine. She was breathless, as if she was trying to speak at a full run. “I just…” “Don’t talk.” Carefully, Gideon stretched her out on the floor. When he rose, Jesse saw blood smeared across her side where she’d rubbed against Gideon. “We’re done with this particular lesson.” Jesse didn’t know if that meant another lesson was in the offing, but some of the blood had made it past the chastity belt, the drops just seconds from splashing onto the floor. Emma insisted again that she was fine, but she wasn’t really moving, and Jesse wondered how many times he was going to be responsible for overloading her…hurting her. Maybe more lessons would be pointless. “Sir? Is she okay?” 108


“She’ll be fine.” His face was grim as he marched back to Jesse. Silently, he reached overhead and opened the lock on the chains and cuffs, helping Jess slowly lower his arms. “I’m not sure what you did there at the end,” he murmured. “But just before she collapsed, I felt this…lust from her. Was that you?” “I…I don’t know. It must have been. I was trying to do what you said. Send her pleasure instead of pain.” Gideon snorted. “I should’ve known better.” He rubbed at Jesse’s arms to bring the feeling back, careful not to go over any of the fresh cuts. “I’m giving you permission to teleport to the bathroom and shower. I’ll bring Emma up so we can join you.” Jesse appreciated that, but he didn’t just pop out of the room. He looked over to Emma, who watched him with stillglazed eyes. She had never seen him teleport anywhere, and he didn’t want to make matters worse by popping out of view right in front of her. But he didn’t want to get blood all over the place, either. “Yes, Sir. Emma…” He didn’t know what else to add, so he closed his eyes and teleported to the shower. His first view of his reflection made him reach for a towel. Emma didn’t need to see all the blood. It was bad enough she was wearing some of his. He didn’t want to make it worse by looking like he’d just been attacked. He had the bathroom full of steam from the shower by the time he heard Gideon open the bedroom door. At Gideon’s call, he came out to see Emma leaning heavily against 109


Gideon’s side while he fumbled with the locks on her chastity belt. “Hold her steady while I get this off,” Gideon ordered. He automatically reached for her, and she wrapped her arm around his back, pressing against an open wound. Jesse caught his breath from the sudden sting, grateful that he still had his walls up. He tightened his hold on her. “How are you?” A slow smile curved her mouth. “Just a little woozy.” She pressed her cheek to his arm, and dragged her tongue over his skin. Thank goodness he’d washed off. “That was some whopper you sent my way.” “Whopper?” “You know. All that desire there at the end. That was more intense than anything you’ve ever done before.” She tilted her head up without lifting away from his arm. “Was it because Gideon was touching you, you think?” “Lift your leg, Emma,” Gideon said. She obeyed and the belt clinked as he pulled it down. “Why don’t we finish this conversation in the shower?” “Yes. Shower.” Emma’s smile was a little drunk. “I like that idea.” Jesse obediently led her into the steamy bathroom. She clung to him, her feet shuffling against the floor like she didn’t quite feel the ground beneath her. “I don’t think it was Gideon touching me. I was trying to…I wanted you to feel that I was fine.” “Oh, I felt that all right.” Gideon crouched in front of Jesse and quickly undid his 110


belt as well. “Both of you get in the shower. I’ll be right in.” As soon as the belt hit the floor, Jesse knew he would only have seconds before he got hard. And while he had the willpower to avoid coming until Gideon gave him permission, just because he was superhuman didn’t mean he had superhuman willpower. He held Emma’s hand and helped her over the side of the tub before bending to turn on the water. She lifted her head, turning her face into the hot spray with an obvious look of bliss. Jesse stepped in behind her, unable to resist wrapping his arms around her waist. “So, you’re telling me it worked? You didn’t feel any pain?” “At the end? No.” She leaned her head back against his chest and sighed, wriggling her ass against him. “God, you feel good. Do you think Gideon—” “You two are still being punished, remember!” Gideon called from the bedroom. “I don’t understand what happened. Maybe…maybe it’s best if I just shield myself from you. At least during sex.” “No, please don’t.” The hand at her side reached back and began caressing his thigh. “And Gideon said not to.” “Well, Gideon will probably change his mind about that. Especially since it looked like you almost passed out again, and we all know how much he likes it when that happens.” “It just took me by surprise. Please, Jesse.” “Emma…” There wasn’t any real choice. If she didn’t want him to shield himself, then he wouldn’t. But at the same time, he did 111


not think he could deal with her being weak and on the brink of unconsciousness again. Not because of him. Taking a deep breath, he lowered his barriers again. “I just don’t want to see you like that again. That’s all.” She shuddered. He barely caught her before her knees buckled again. “I think I’m going to need a nap after this,” she said. The curtain was shoved back, giving Gideon enough room to step inside. “That sounds like a good idea for both of you, actually. Jesse needs time to heal.” “Yes, Sir.” A spot of red on Emma’s arm caught his attention, and he immediately wiped his thumb over it, trying to clean it away. The contact sent a jolt of arousal through him, and his cock hardened. His gaze honed in on another drop of blood closer to her shoulder, and he used it as an excuse to touch her again. Gideon pressed to his back. “Someone’s trying to bend the rules here.” Jesse’s knees weakened. His wounds were still pulsing, but he really, really didn’t care. “No, Sir. I was just cleaning her.” “You’re hard.” Gideon licked the outer curve of Jesse’s ear. “You know I can’t let you come, boy.” The reminder only served to make his balls ache. If he managed to keep a rigid hold on his self-control, then it would please Gideon. Unfortunately, that thought did nothing to help his current state. He accidentally-on-purpose brushed against Emma again, and she moaned in response. “I…I know, Sir.” 112


“Do you?” He rubbed his cock along Jesse’s crack. “You know I can take her out of here, too, then.” “Don’t, Gideon, please.” Though her entreaty was no longer directed at Jesse, it was just as needy, just as heartfelt. “We’ve done everything you’ve asked. Shouldn’t lessons learned be rewarded, too?” Had he done everything Gideon asked? He couldn’t remember. Forcing Gideon to take them out of the playroom early because he had overwhelmed Emma probably didn’t count as a lesson learned. He dropped his hands to his sides, balling them into fists so he couldn’t touch Emma again. “Don’t take her, Sir, please. I won’t touch her again.” Lips brushing against his neck made him shiver. “Good answer, boy.” Jesse remained motionless, unbelievably, excruciatingly aware of Gideon’s cock sliding against his ass as Gideon reached for the soap. He reached around Jesse to smooth the lather over Emma’s body, cleaning her thoroughly before focusing his attention on Jesse’s back. The ache in his balls made his thighs hurt and his lower abdomen throb. One thing was certain—by the time Gideon finished with his punishment, he would have the worst case of blue balls in history.

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CHAPTER 8 Emma shivered inside her thick jacket. It wasn’t because she was cold; Gideon had the heat blasting inside Jesse’s Jeep. But she was curled up into a small ball in the back seat, pressed against the door, watching the buildings pass by in streaks of neon and shadow. Nerves. That was what it was. And thank God, Gideon had insisted she have her walls up tonight for the first time since the punishment began, or Jesse would be all over this. Because tonight, on what was supposed to be the last night of their punishment, the test of everything Gideon had meant to teach them, Emma was doing something she hadn’t done since the night she’d met them. 114


She was going back to Sangre. She didn’t hate the vampire club. She knew what kind of release it gave to Jesse and Gideon. How, within its walls, Jesse could just give over fully to his darker side and become the object of lust for an entire room of dangerous vampires. She knew it was perfectly safe for Jesse. Gideon would never let anything happen to him. But in all the years she had known them, Emma had never had any desire to go back. That was the place where she had almost been auctioned off to the highest bidder until Jesse had found her. She’d experienced terror like she’d never known there. Before she’d learned how to block out the rampaging emotions of other people, places like Sangre—where lust and fear screamed louder than the rawest voices—had been hell for her. There was no reason to go back. There was no desire to. Until Gideon had quietly asked, “Do you trust me no matter what?” How else was she supposed to answer him? He’d promised to honor her limits. Jesse had appeared horror-stricken at the initial suggestion, but he had never spoken up, never uttered a single word of dissent. That was part of Gideon’s lesson, after all. This wasn’t about what Jesse and Emma wanted. It was about definitively learning Gideon was in control. No matter what. As Gideon pulled up in front of the building, a uniformed valet rushed around to his door, opening it for him to get out. Emma tracked his path, his figure dark and imposing as he 115


passed in front of the headlights. She edged away from her door when he approached. It wouldn’t do to tumble out onto the sidewalk and hurt herself before she even got inside. Shadows hid Gideon’s face. All she saw was the stretch of his hand. “Come,” he said softly. So she went. Gideon coiled her leash loosely around his hand before turning to do the same for Jesse. Emma struggled against the urge to turn into Jesse’s arms. Though they stood side by side, all she was allowed was the slight contact of their shoulders as they followed Gideon into the club. She wanted more. No, she needed more. After tonight, she would finally have both of them back, the way it was supposed to be. The weather outside had demanded they arrive clothed, but Sangre’s interior didn’t feel much warmer than the winter beyond its walls. Large fans in the ceiling kept circulating air, while music pulsed from huge speakers around the edge of the room. Throngs of people dotted the space, from long, low couches to the nooks in the walls she knew held more private parties. She deliberately kept her eyes from straying to the corner where she’d been held in a stockade awaiting auction. She couldn’t afford to dwell on those memories tonight. This was about Gideon, and Jesse, and proving to him once and for all that she trusted both of them to do the right thing by her. Something brushed alongside her hand. Startled, Emma jerked her head up, but Jesse wasn’t looking at her. He had his gaze firmly on the floor, downcast as any sub might be. But then she felt the gentle contact again, and knew he meant it to 116


be reassuring. It’s okay, it said. You’re safe. Gideon led them past group after group of vampires, each more interested than the last in the trio that navigated the club. He came to a stop at an empty couch along the periphery, away from the more heavy-duty action but still close enough to be seen. Dropping both of their leashes, he shrugged out of his coat and draped it over the couch’s back. His black silk shirt shimmered across his broad shoulders, while the pants he wore with it highlighted his tight ass. Jesse’s sharp inhalation matched Emma’s own pang of desire. Without a doubt, Gideon was the most gorgeous vampire in the room. Especially when he sat and leveled heavy, hungry eyes on the pair of them. “Strip.” Moment of truth. Emma knew all she had to do was say the word, and Gideon would take her home. Even now, with his rising arousal evident, she knew he would never push her farther than she could go. If he didn’t think she could handle it, he would never have said he was bringing her here. That, in and of itself, was all she needed to find the strength and open her coat. Her hands shook a little as she dropped her coat over Gideon’s. Heads turned to watch. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jesse removing his clothing as well, but his movements were far more fluid, more graceful than hers could ever be. He was infinitely more comfortable stripping in front of strangers. She envied him that. 117


Concentrating on the buttons of her dress, Emma undid only what was necessary to allow the garment to fall from her shoulders and pool at her feet. Underneath it, she wore only her collar and her chastity belt. The bruises and welts had faded—thanks to Jesse’s cream—but there was still a small mark left on her nipple that refused to heal completely. Gideon’s nostrils flared. In spite of how exposed she felt, raw desire pooled in Emma’s body, heating her through, all the way to the rub of the iron against her slit and ass. She hadn’t come since the night she’d collapsed in her cage, and the week of being bombarded with Jesse’s passion, and no means of acting on it, had worn her defenses threadbare. At the nod of his head, she dropped to her hands and knees and approached him. The floor was cold, and the way more than one vampire edged closer made her more jumpy. She was relieved to reach Gideon’s feet, and rested her cheek against his leg with her eyes closed. A sigh escaped her at the tender caress of his hand across her head. He had been right. She could do this. Several minutes elapsed of the same gentle touches. Voices rose and fell around her, the words indiscernible behind the beat of the music. Gideon shifted once or twice, but never to dislodge her. She heard him quietly direct Jesse to kneel, but after that, nothing. “Took you long enough.” She jerked at the unfamiliar male voice, but the firmer push of Gideon’s hand against her head eased her back where she’d been. 118


“Oh?” Gideon sounded bored. “Long enough for what?” “To share the rest of your toys.” “Who said I’m sharing? Maybe I just felt like showing off tonight.” A woman laughed. “And that would make tonight different from other nights…how, Gideon?” His answering chuckle surprised her. Gideon must like this woman. The realization sent a flare of unexpected jealousy through Emma, and though she had her walls firmly in place, Gideon’s hand tightened on her head anyway. She did everything she could to tamp down the emotion. Gideon loved her. This woman couldn’t touch that, no matter who she was. “Actually, I have a treat for you later, Monique. But you’re going to have to be patient.” “Oooo, I like treats. Does it involve your pretty little empath?” Emma held her breath while she waited for Gideon’s response. “No, she’s not quite ready for your kind of treats.” His hand fell away. A moment later, Emma felt a tug on her leash. “Come up here and show Monique what she’s going to be missing.” Lifting her head, Emma opened her eyes and climbed onto Gideon’s lap. Her heart thudded as he grasped her hips and turned her around, nestling her ass against his erection and pulling her back against his chest. It gave Emma a perfect view to see the crowd that had started gathering. The only woman was a European beauty, long legs, long dark hair, 119


darker eyes. Even the slightly imperfect nose and mouth weren’t enough to detract from her looks. At the side of the couch, Jesse knelt with his hands knotted loosely behind his back. His head was tilted slightly downward, but his gaze was firmly on Emma, gauging her every mood. For a second, she debated letting her walls down to know what he was feeling, even if it was against the rules. The only problem was, Gideon would know as soon as she did it, and every promise she’d made about trusting and obeying his every command would be shattered. Gideon smoothed his hands down the top of her legs, spreading them wider. The belt hid her sex, but it was a lewd enough position to appeal to the vampires. She saw more than one lick its lips. A short one in the back was already wearing fangs. Gideon kept her in that position for what felt like an eternity. She felt exposed. Worse than that, she felt helpless. She wasn’t the exhibitionist Jesse was, and she could feel the heavy gaze of every vampire crawling over her body. It felt like a thousand bees buzzing against her skin. She wanted to fidget. She wanted to cover herself. Her muscles tightened with anticipation, and she wished Gideon would speak. Would do anything other than stroke her thighs, reminding her with each caress that she was already on edge. “You.” Gideon’s hand disappeared from her leg and he gestured. Emma didn’t know who he was talking to until a vampire stepped forward, his eyes flashing yellow. He wasn’t as tall or 120


broad as Gideon, but he could be described as handsome, with shorn blond hair, a wide mouth, and high cheekbones. “I get to go first?” the vampire asked, licking his lips. “No, you get to go only,” Gideon replied. “So consider this your lucky night.” He traced along Emma’s waist, tickling slightly before drifting upward and cupping her breast. “The belt is staying on, so don’t think for a second I’m going to let you fuck her. And you so much as even look like you’re going to take a bite, and I’ll pull out each and every one of your teeth through the top of your head, got it?” “Yeah, dude, I got it. So what can I do?” Emma held herself utterly still as Gideon lifted his other hand to her throat. He caressed the edge of her collar, each brush of his fingertips burning against her skin. When they came up to her mouth, she parted her lips on instinct, seeking out his cool skin, sucking his thumb into her mouth and moaning with satisfaction. “Anything above the belt is fair game,” Gideon said. “You want her mouth, you can have it. Feel like fucking her tits? You can have that, too. Hell, you can just beat off and come on her face, if that floats your boat.” He unzipped his pants, revealing the length of his hard cock. Emma’s pulse spiked as she waited to find out just what, exactly, floated this vampire’s boat. She thought it was too much to hope that he would just want to beat off. He moved between her legs, his knee pressing on the chastity belt, and dragged the tip of his cock over her breasts. He smeared precome on one nipple, then the other, smiling when he noticed 121


the small puncture wounds on her tender skin. Gideon helpfully pressed her breasts together, creating a slit for the vampire to push his crown into. He eased in and out three times, moaning each time her flesh closed around his sensitive skin. But she knew that wouldn’t be enough, even as her chest glistened with the remnants of his pre-come. A few of the vampires around them lost interest and drifted away, but it felt like most of them were pressing closer. Like the entire club was watching when the vampire dragged his cock over her lips. “Open your mouth, Emma,” Gideon murmured in her ear. “Suck his cock like the little slut I know you are.” Gideon used blunt words like that all the time in the privacy of their home. Hearing him utter them here made her gasp in unexpected arousal, and her lips parted to allow her tongue to dart out and lick around the flared crown. When Gideon kneaded her breasts, her desire electrified. She wanted this. It wasn’t difficult at all to look up into the other vampire’s eyes and close her lips around his thick cock. The vampire moaned with pleasure, but that wasn’t the only sound Emma caught. Jesse made a noise, too, from his spot on the floor—a sort of strangled whimper. She tried to look over to him, but she couldn’t turn her head, and she couldn’t see him from the corner of his eye. She also didn’t have too much time to think about it, because the vampire wasn’t going to stop with the crown. He kept pushing forward, sliding his length against her tongue, scraping across the roof 122


of her mouth, until the tip reached her throat. She had known it would probably come to this. Gideon had been clear. Trust him. Taking a deep breath, Emma pushed forward, swallowing at the same time. She buried her nose in the coarse hair curling around the base of the vampire’s cock. Its thick length filled her throat—not as thick as Gideon’s, but substantial nonetheless. Her hands itched to grab onto the vampire’s thighs to help guide whatever he might try, but that was against the rules. Gideon was the one in control here. She was the one to do his bidding. Gideon tugged her back against his chest, but the vampire followed her, leaning over her to keep his cock as deep in her mouth as he could get. She swallowed again, hoping it would spur him to start moving. Spots danced at the corners of her eyes before he edged away. The vampire braced himself with one hand against the couch, and held the base of his cock with the other. He rocked back and forward, then back again, pumping into her mouth without pausing to enjoy the heat. She kept her mouth open, her jaw relaxed, prepared for him each time he thrust forward. Finally, he buried his cock in her throat again, shuddering as she swallowed. He varied his rhythm, moving faster or slower randomly, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t resist the temptation of filling her throat. The solid chest at her back was comforting, but the hands at her breasts, pulling and pinching at her nipples, were 123


anything but. They provoked feelings clamoring to be released, begging to be freed of the walls Emma had erected. She squirmed against Gideon’s cock in a vain attempt to distract them, but the cold metal against her ass heightened her arousal rather than calmed it. She was wet, embarrassingly so. In the back of her mind, she wondered whether or not the vampires could tell. She whimpered around the cock in her throat when it dawned on her that, of course, they could. He dragged his length from Emma’s mouth and slapped the head against her chin, and then her cheeks. Every time he hit her with it, sparks went down her spine. She automatically tilted her head, chasing after it until her lips closed around the crown again. She couldn’t move far—Gideon’s grip wouldn’t let her—but she could move enough to keep the shaft in her mouth, leaking pre-come freely on her tongue. When she looked up through her lashes to study the vampire’s face, his eyes were heavy-lidded and his mouth hung open. Gideon’s mouth settled at the curve of her shoulder. No fangs, but the familiar shape of his lips drew a moan from deep inside her. She tried to tilt her head to accommodate him, but the other vampire’s hand shot out and gripped her hair, coiling through the long strands to keep her upright. It hurt, and she whimpered accordingly. If she’d been home, Jesse or Gideon might have tested the waters, to see what kind of pain it was for her, whether they needed to ease back or use it as encouragement for more. The vampire fucking her mouth took it as incentive. He 124


drove past her lips hard enough for his balls to slap against her chin, and tightened his fingers even more against her scalp. She whimpered again, choking for breath each time the vampire pulled back. If anything, the whimpers and halfmoans prompted him to drive forward harder, and faster. The hand in her hair tightened until tears stung the back of her eyes and her entire head tingled. The vampire began panting, words mingling with each harsh breath—That’s it. Take it. Suck it, slut. Like that. Emma braced herself for his eruption, expecting him to come in the back of her throat. But just when she felt his body stiffen and his cock jerk, he pulled out. She closed her eyes just as the warm jets of come landed on her chin and rolled down her throat. A strong hand closed over the front of her collar and started rubbing the sticky fluid into her skin. It took several seconds to recognize Gideon’s touch, seconds where her entire body vibrated from the force of the vampire’s dark hunger. Even with her walls up, some emotions could leak through if they were strong enough. And this vampire’s were. His desire slithered over her bared skin. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out. *

*

*

Jesse couldn’t keep his horror to himself when Gideon announced they would all be going to Sangre for the final night of their punishment. Gideon had, of course, known that he would not take the news well, and Jesse supposed that was 125


meant to test his commitment to submitting. Now, watching Emma open her mouth for another vampire’s cock, he didn’t try to dampen his surge of resentment. That moved through him quickly, soon replaced by the more bitter edge of jealousy. The worst part wasn’t the jealousy or the resentment. It was the hot tendrils of arousal reaching through his body, curling around his groin and up to his throat, choking him. The jealousy only honed his arousal, and every time he looked away from where Gideon held Emma, curiosity and desire forced him to look back. Forced him to note exactly the way her lips stretched over the vampire’s cock, and the way her eyes fluttered when he thrust into her throat. It didn’t help that the sight of Emma and the smell of arousal coming from both of them was driving every vampire in the room into a frenzy. Jesse didn’t know if Emma noticed—he hoped she didn’t—but he knew the signs. He knew that it was only their respect for Gideon that kept them from swarming, especially since more than a few of them already knew what Jesse tasted like, and wouldn’t mind getting a bite of Emma, as well. A few brushed against him, their fingers searching, their cocks almost at his mouth. Jesse didn’t know what Gideon had planned for him, but he hoped it wasn’t anything too extreme. He was uncomfortable and unhappy watching Emma—he couldn’t imagine what Emma would feel if she watched the way they treated him. Even if she knew what would probably happen, it was far different from witnessing it. 126


When the vampire shot on Emma’s face, Jesse wanted to tear him apart. The urge only faded as Emma dropped her head back and Gideon began spreading the come. Just the small reminder that Gideon was still in control here eased Jesse’s automatic, primal response. In that room, in that moment, Emma was Gideon’s, and Jesse had no claim on her, no right to his jealousy. He would just have to cling to that thought. “You’re not really going to let Eli be the only one to touch her, are you?” Monique pouted where she hovered nearby. “That hardly seems fair.” Gideon squeezed Emma’s breast, making her quietly gasp. “I already promised you a treat, didn’t I? Don’t make me regret it, Monique.” Her sultry gaze swiveled to Jesse. “Are you finally going to let me take this one home for the night?” The other vampires surrounding them froze at her brazen question. Gideon continued to knead Emma’s flesh, turning his inscrutable eyes to Jesse. “Now that’s an interesting thought. How would you like to be Monique’s private fucktoy, boy?” Jesse caught his breath. He didn’t think Gideon would actually send him home with Monique, but Gideon had done plenty of things in the past week Jesse didn’t believe he would. It didn’t matter, because there was only one answer. “I would, Sir, if that’s what you want.” Gideon smiled, dark pleasure gleaming in his eyes. “Maybe another time, Monique,” he said without looking 127


away from Jesse. “But I’ll make it up to you. I’m going to let you hang the boy on the bondage wheel instead.” Her manicured fingers rested on Jesse’s head, long nails digging into his scalp. “So he’s just decoration tonight?” “No. He’s dessert.” Jesse pulled himself straighter, his gaze immediately flying to Emma. He absolutely did not have a problem with being dessert, but her eyes were wide, her cheeks flushed. He didn’t need her to lower her walls to know that she was horrified at the thought. Especially when all the vampires began expressing their approval with shouts, and Monique pulled him to his feet by his hair as if he weighed no more than a child. “Do I have to share him?” Monique asked. “I think there’s plenty to go around.” Gideon tightened his hold on Emma, pulling her closer onto his lap. He cupped the back of her head and guided her face into his neck, cradling her like they were in the privacy of their home, like he was soothing her from some nightmare. “But let’s make this a little more interesting, shall we? Hang him upside down.” Monique’s fangs descended. “Can I take the belt off, too?” “And let you bite his cock off? I don’t think so.” He swept a warning gaze across the crowd. “And nobody takes too much. As soon as I think you’re crossing a line, I’m taking them both home.” Another smile. “Which is just more incentive to make this last as long as possible, don’t you think?” The bondage wheel was placed directly in front of Gideon. 128


Jesse didn’t resist as Monique dragged him over. Two tall vampires waited for them, and Jesse could only brace himself as they reached for him. The world spun upside down, and the blood rushed to his head, his stomach flopping like a fish. He never took his gaze from Gideon, or the slope of Emma’s back. But it wasn’t long before he was completely surrounded, what felt like dozens of legs blocking his view. Monique bit first. He couldn’t see her, but he still knew it was her. She chose his inner thigh, licking the skin as if to soften it, before closing her lips around it in a parody of a kiss. She sucked on his flesh until she brought the blood closer to the surface, and his groin throbbed, his trapped cock tingling. He cried out when she buried her teeth in his flesh, blood erupting into her mouth, pumping into her waiting throat. Hands touched everywhere. Pinches. Pulls. Tugs. Tweaks. The wheel secured him at his ankles, wrists, and waist, but his back was completely exposed, making it possible for the vampires to swarm from all sides. The second sting came on his ass cheek, a small mouth clamping over it and driving fangs deep into the tissue. He clenched on reflex, and growls erupted from the others. He’d been bitten at Sangre before, even by more than one vampire at a time, but this bordered on a feeding frenzy. The vampires acted like a pack of mad dogs, descending on downed prey. Something bit into his other ass cheek. More fangs pricked his side. A large black vampire Jesse recognized as the bouncer knelt in front of his face, fisting his cock for several seconds before rubbing the tip over Jesse’s lips. 129


“How ’bout this hole, Gideon?” the bouncer called out. “This one up for the taking?” “Be my guest,” came Gideon’s disembodied reply. The vampire grinned. Gripping Jesse’s side, he leaned forward and drove his fangs into the tight muscle of Jesse’s stomach. When Jesse parted his lips to scream, the bouncer thrust his cock inside. The vampire pumped his hips, fucking Jesse’s mouth vigorously. His balls slapped against Jesse’s nose, and he increased the pressure of his powerful jaw. If he wanted to, he could have torn a chunk out of Jesse, and nobody would be able to react quickly enough to stop him. Jesse felt drool running out of his mouth, coating the thick cock that rammed down his throat again and again. Jesse closed his eyes, losing all sense of direction. Up and down, backward or forward, none of it mattered. He lost track of how many mouths were attached to his body. His world was full of growls and grunts and whimpers and endless slurping. He momentarily forgot about Gideon and Emma. The earlier jealousy and resentment fell away, and he was just a body. A body that couldn’t resist the cocks trying to get to his mouth, or the teeth in his tender thighs and stomach. The tingling in his groin increased—if his hands weren’t bound, he would rip the belt off himself. Somewhere, in the growing haze, he realized that Emma needed this. Emma needed to know that the sharp incisors slicing through his skin didn’t actually hurt, and he wasn’t actually afraid. He wanted to send the pleasure to her—were 130


her walls even down? He had no way of knowing. He could barely concentrate. Blood loss and pleasure and need and arousal took precious resources from his brain. But he thought of the purple web, separated it from the pain that was just under the surface, and tried to send it out to her. The returning assault confused him. First, in its speed. Gideon had given her explicit instructions to keep her walls up, to protect her supposedly. But she responded to Jesse’s lust so instantaneously, he knew there was no way she hadn’t had them down. It was the link they had always enjoyed, the passing of even the minutest of emotion, now swollen and fevered from the depth and breadth of what he was experiencing. What they were both experiencing. That was the other confusing thing. He expected fear in return. Or anxiety. What he got was an outpouring of need, wordless pleas for release. Heat billowed through every vein, not just from the hungry sucks of mouths against his open skin, but from within and the crushing force of Emma’s feelings. There was desire, yes, but even more prevalent was the deep-rooted love. It wrapped him up in its embrace and left him shaking. If Gideon wanted to break him, then this was the way to do it. He needed some sort of relief, any relief, but he didn’t have a single outlet. He tried to scream, but there was always a cock waiting to fill him until he couldn’t even breathe. He thought he could put his walls back up, but it was already too late for that. Even if he blocked Emma off, his cells would still be vibrating from the pure pleasure she sent to him. If he closed 131


his eyes, or if he opened his eyes, he could still see everything. The vampires surrounding him, Gideon holding Emma, the dimension itself vibrating and pulsing from the need radiating from the core of his body. New whimpers and moans filled his ears, and he realized they were coming from him. Begging anybody who would listen to stop, to just give him a chance to catch his breath. It wasn’t possible to be pushed and pushed and pushed, to climb higher and higher, with absolutely no end in sight. Something had to shatter. Something was going to break. “Enough.” Gideon. Thank God. Cool air rushed over his skin as the vampires slowly peeled away. The one in his mouth was one of the last to go, and he blinked against the spots dancing in front of his eyes in time to see Gideon approach the wheel. “Turn him around.” Hands grabbed the frame and swiftly rotated Jesse back to a vertical position. The sudden change made the room swim, and he squeezed his eyes shut to keep from doing something as undignified as throw up in front of everybody. A cool tongue flicked across his nipple, and he jerked away. Even that was too sensitive. But a strong hand clamped over his shoulder, a grip he recognized, and the tongue went back to work, licking away the droplets of blood staining his skin. Jesse moaned, his fingers flexing weakly while the rest of his body went lax against the steel cuffs. He let the wheel support his weight completely as he strained toward Gideon’s 132


mouth. His blood still pumped too hard and too fast. His head felt like it was floating above his shoulders, above the room. But Gideon’s mouth was strangely soothing, and his choked, sobbing breaths eventually settled. “Gideon…Sir…please…” Straightening, Gideon met his gaze with steady eyes. Stray bits of blood clung to his lips. “Time to go home,” he murmured. The corner of his mouth lifted. “I have some locks to take off you.” “Thank you. Thank you, Sir…thank you.” The words continued to tumble from his mouth as Gideon directed Monique to unclasp the cuffs. She looked like a leech that had just glutted. Her eyes were dark with satisfaction, her mouth was still scarlet, and she moved with a real sense of lethargy. She supported Jesse’s weight without being told, and while Gideon lifted Emma’s exhausted body from the couch, she wiped Jesse’s lips clean of blood and come. “Wouldn’t you want to come home with me anyway?” Monique asked lightly. Jesse smiled a little and responded with a friendly, “One day, maybe.” One day, when he wasn’t completely, absolutely wrapped up in Gideon and Emma.

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CHAPTER 9 When Gideon took their belts off, Jesse began trembling with anticipation. He had to clench his fists to disguise the tremor in his fingers, and he sat heavily on the bed because his knees refused to support him. He didn’t know what Gideon would start with—or who would get to come first—but he didn’t care because he was finally free of that maddening belt and his cock hardened as soon as he felt a whisper of air against his damp skin. Except, Gideon looked at the clock and then told them to get some sleep. For a moment, Jesse thought he was joking. He had to be joking, because nobody could take that directive seriously. But 134


Gideon hadn’t been joking, and Jesse was too tired to fight with him. Chances were good that he was going to have his first wet dream since he was fourteen, but he settled on the mattress obediently because Gideon wasn’t going to make him sleep at the foot again. Despite the reassuring pressure of Emma’s body spooned against him, and Gideon’s hard chest at his back, Jesse’s sleep was thin, his dreams full of fangs and growls of hunger. He saw Monique’s eyes, her long claw-like nails, and the bouncer’s thick cock, and even Emma was there, using a whip to coax more blood out of Jesse’s skin for the vampires’ waiting mouths. In his dream, he didn’t wear the belt, but there was still a horrible weight around his cock, like he was trapped between a set of sharp teeth. Sawdust coated his mouth and throat. He opened and closed his lips helplessly, trying to find the right words. Trying to find any words. When the words wouldn’t come, he sought a sound. Any sound. A whimper. A protest before he was completely consumed. He mouthed Gideon’s name again and again, whipping his head from side to side, seeking out the only vampire that could stop the torment. The room sweltered, the temperature rising by the second, until sweat flowed freely down his body, wetting his hair, stinging his eyes, mingling with the blood. He stuck his tongue out, desperate for just a little moisture, just a little relief. He tasted salt. It made his tongue tingle. A new set of fangs buried themselves in his throat, covering the scars left by Gideon. He struggled automatically, 135


thrashing and grunting past his dry mouth. A strong hand went to his chest, pushing him back, holding him down until he stilled. With a gasp, he opened his eyes and realized that wasn’t part of the dream. Gideon’s was sucking at Jesse’s neck softly, taking tiny sips from his punctured skin. Jesse’s groin throbbed with each pull of Gideon’s mouth. “Gideon?” Jesse rasped. Gideon didn’t answer. His lips remained sealed around his favorite spot on Jesse’s neck, drawing drop after drop from his veins. The hand on Jesse’s chest slid downward, bypassing his cock, to cup his balls and lightly pull. Jesse moaned and tilted his head back while turning his body toward Gideon. He knew from experience that he wouldn’t even need Gideon to touch his cock to get him off. “You hungry?” The withdrawal of Gideon’s fangs almost made him cry out, but the soft slide of Gideon’s tongue over the open puncture marks was a more than welcome substitute. “Couldn’t resist,” Gideon murmured. “All I could dream about was sinking my teeth into you.” “I was dreaming about that, too. And how much I need you.” Gideon’s fingers tightened around his balls, and a low level pain radiated through his abdomen. “It turns out it’s a lot.” “We could take this downstairs and do it right.” Gideon kissed the soft skin below his ear. “You could teleport us down there so we don’t wake up Emma. She needs her sleep.” Jesse did not need a second invitation. He couldn’t have 136


waited for one, even if he wanted to. He wrapped his arm around Gideon’s back, holding him as tightly, and closed his eyes. A second later, they were in the cool playroom, stretched out on the floor with limbs tangled. Goose bumps erupted across his skin, but he thought that had more to do with anticipation than it did with the temperature. As Gideon lifted his head, Jesse claimed his mouth, unleashing his hunger without hesitation. He tasted his own blood on Gideon’s tongue, and that only spurred him to deepen the kiss, to grip Gideon with hard fingers and hold him in place as their tongues dueled and Gideon’s teeth scraped across his lips. Gideon never touched his cock. Though Jesse craved the contact, he understood the reason why. He was wound too tightly, and if nothing else, he’d like this to last longer than five seconds. How he managed to get through the night without coming, he had no idea, but he wasn’t about to lose it now, especially since he finally had the freedom to touch and claw at Gideon the way he’d wanted all week. The hand on his balls slipped farther back, scratching over his clenching hole. Gideon tore his fanged mouth away for a moment, licking away the fresh blood he’d drawn. “This isn’t nearly enough,” he rasped. “I want you swimming in blood before I fuck you. I want to hear you scream so loud, I won’t have any choice but to split your ass open.” Jesse nodded frantically, settling for kissing Gideon’s neck and throat since he couldn’t get to his mouth. He nibbled on 137


Gideon’s taut throat, not hard enough to draw blood, but he still made Gideon shudder. He was glad they were both already naked—he wouldn’t have been able to tolerate a single barrier between the two of them. “Use the nine tail whip?” Jesse asked, his teeth still locked around Gideon’s skin. “Gladly.” They separated reluctantly, hands clinging to the other so nails scraped raw trails over their skin. Jesse rolled onto his hands and knees and watched Gideon walk over to the cupboard. His gaze fixed on the tight globes of his lover’s ass, each muscle shifting sinuously beneath the skin. When Gideon stretched to reach the whip, his legs parted just enough to see his heavy balls hanging between his thighs. Jesse’s heart thumped even harder. With an expert flick of his wrist, Gideon tested his grip of the nine tail. The leather cracked through the air, sending icy shivers of anticipation down Jesse’s spine. “Back first, I think,” Gideon mused as he returned. “Then we’ll see about flaying your cock.” “If you touch my cock with that thing, that’ll be it,” Jesse warned. “I’ll shoot like a geyser.” “Maybe I should get you off first so we can make this last then.” Jesse only needed to think about that for a moment before shaking his head. “No. No, I don’t want to get off yet.” The whip whistled through the air. No warning, no time for anticipation. The leather strands lashed across the back of 138


his thighs, hitting under his sac at the same time. Jesse yelped a little as he braced against the sting, but Gideon wasn’t waiting for him to recover. He brought his arm back and swung again, this time landing higher along Jesse’s ass. “I want it dripping into your hole before I fuck you.” A third stroke, this one higher still. “Then I can eat you clean.” Gideon needed to use a careful combination of strength and finesse to make Jesse bleed and keep him bleeding. But he was accustomed now to Jesse’s healing abilities, and once it started, the blood didn’t stop flowing. Hot and sticky, it ran down his ass, his thighs, his balls, and dripped onto the floor in a steady rhythm. Jesse tried to hold still, but he couldn’t stop rocking backward to meet each blow. His hot flesh stung, his balls ached, and he begged for more. He wanted the pain to blanket the world until he couldn’t feel the throbbing in his groin. A break in the strokes gave Gideon a window to kick Jesse’s hand out from beneath him. Jesse fell onto his forearms, and before he could rise again, Gideon’s foot was on the back of his neck, forcing him down the rest of the way. It effectively pinned Jesse by his throat, keeping him immobile while Gideon commenced a new angle to his whipping. These landed lengthwise, perpendicular to his spine, and the skin burst open in new ribbons, the blood running red and thick down his sides. It pooled on the floor, slicking the surface. Gideon used his hold on Jesse’s neck to push him back and forth across the fluid until he was sure his chest was a sheet of red. 139


Jesse choked on moans and pleas, until the long leather tails buried themselves in the open wounds, digging in deep for more blood. That tore the shout from his throat, each one long and ragged, if muffled from his position on the floor. Each one encouraging Gideon to greater heights of bloodlust. Jesse’s cock was trapped between his stomach and the floor, sliding against the blood, the friction making his ass clench. Without warning, Gideon lifted his foot from Jesse’s neck, then kicked him over onto his back. Jesse screamed in surprised agony, a hot rush of pain pushing through his body. He didn’t even have time to adjust to that before the whip’s long tails struck his cock, balls, and thighs. Gideon visibly shuddered. He backhanded the whip higher, across Jesse’s nipples, but with the piercing scream from that still hanging in the air, reversed down again to the base of Jesse’s cock. Blood dripped down to coat his balls, thick and viscous. Jesse writhed against the sting, lost for seconds in the oblivion the pain brought. He heard the clatter of the whip hitting the floor, and only opened his eyes in time to see Gideon drop to his knees between Jesse’s legs. His fangs were bared as he gripped Jesse’s hips and yanked him upward. Jesse cried out at the sudden weight resting on his shoulders and upper back, but then even that was eclipsed by Gideon’s mouth clamping over his balls. Jesse knew it wasn’t possible, but it felt like Gideon had left a hundred cuts on the thin skin. Fresh blood pumped into Gideon’s mouth and he even allowed a little to dribble from the corners of his mouth. Gideon growled and pulled Jesse 140


closer, and the sound shot through him, sending a million tiny electrical charges directly to his cock. Jesse tried to buck against Gideon’s mouth, tried to encourage another growl, but he didn’t have the leverage he needed to really move. Deep pull followed deep pull, the satisfied sounds coming from Gideon’s throat muffled only when he swallowed down Jesse’s blood. More blood shot through Jesse’s veins, crawling upward the length of his body, until he trembled from the force of Gideon’s sucks. When a blunt finger probed at his ass, Jesse tried to widen his legs further and give better access, but even that was too difficult to achieve. It didn’t stop Gideon. His fingertip circled the opening, smearing the blood around. But there were three fingers that pushed their way inside. “Oh…oh fuck…Gideon. Gideon.” He rocked on his shoulders, swaying side to side as Gideon pumped his wrist. After a week of not being touched at all, Jesse was far too sensitive for Gideon’s rough fingers. But instead of protesting, of whimpering a bit of relief, Jesse could only beg for more. “Fuck me…Gideon. Please, fuck me. Please.” Gideon tore his bloody mouth away from Jesse’s balls, his hand still moving inside Jesse’s ass. “What about real lube?” “No, no lube. Just fuck me, please.” The weight from his shoulders eased as Gideon wrapped his arm around Jesse’s waist and pulled him up. He straddled Gideon’s thighs, but poised there only for a moment before Gideon aligned the tip of his cock with his hole and slammed him down onto the length. 141


Gideon pulled him down with such force that Jesse saw stars. Big, bright flashing stars that obscured his vision. He slipped against Gideon’s thighs and chest, coating him with blood. Their mouths fused, and for a moment, Jesse didn’t want to move. Jesse couldn’t move. He was perfectly content right where he was, filled with Gideon’s cock, pressed against his chest, while his blood colored Gideon’s skin. Jesse lifted himself, until only the tip of Gideon’s cock was still in his ass, then slammed down again. Gideon’s mouth muffled Jesse’s scream, but they both shuddered as an aftershock reverberated through their frames. All the blood on the floor made it hard for his heels to get purchase, and he slipped more than once as they tried to find a rhythm. Gideon didn’t seem to care about pace. He only seemed to want to get as deep inside Jesse’s body as he could get. Jesse half believed that if Gideon could stuff his balls inside Jesse’s ass alongside his cock, he would gladly do so. And then the thought of being that full made Jesse drive down onto his cock with even more power. Gideon’s nails raked down his back, opening up the welts further. One got caught in a deeper slash, and it tore across the exposed flesh with icy precision. Gideon swallowed Jesse’s scream by dragging his fangs across the inside of his lips and flooding their mouths with fresh blood. Each stroke created a maddening friction along Jesse’s cock. It didn’t take him long to figure out exactly how to move to create more friction. His length dragged against Gideon’s ridged stomach, and occasionally, the sensitive tip would get 142


stuck between their bodies until he whimpered at the additional pressure. He needed more. “Gideon…” He broke free of the vampire’s hold and rose above his body. Gideon looked at him with clear confusion, but the question in his eyes cleared as soon as Jesse pushed him backward to the floor. He spread his legs wide without protest, giving Jesse access to what he needed. He fully intended to move slowly—or at least slow enough to give Gideon a chance to adjust to him. But as soon as the tight muscle of his ass closed around Jesse’s crown, he forgot those good intentions, and plunged forward. “Fuck!” Gideon’s head slammed back against the floor with a crack loud enough to be heard. But if Gideon was in pain from it, it didn’t show, not in the scrabble to try and grab onto Jesse’s body, not in the way his legs locked around Jesse’s hips to try and draw him even deeper. Gideon clenched around him with such strength that Jesse thought he was going to erupt with the first thrust. He froze, afraid to move. Afraid to breathe, even. Gideon tightened his hold, silently telling him that he was not going to let him pull away any time soon. And Jesse didn’t want to. Once he got inside of Gideon, he wanted to stay there, fucking him all night. After he was sure he had himself under control, he pulled back and thrust forward. His arms began to shake as he braced himself above Gideon, but he managed to do it again and again, until he established a hard rhythm. “I’ll bet you’ve been waiting for this all week.” Gideon 143


used their reversed positions to claw even more at Jesse’s bleeding back. “Get a little of your own back for me punishing you.” The denial came automatically, even though there had been plenty of times when Jesse wanted to get revenge, or at least make Gideon feel the same sort of torment that he was inflicting on the two of them. “Sounds like you were trying to push me to this all week.” “You know why I pushed you.” Clamping one hand over the back of Jesse’s neck, he held Jesse still while he licked along his jaw, creating twin lines where his fangs broke through the skin. He ground his hips back, meeting each one of Jesse’s strokes with his own bruising strength. “You flew through it. Better than I could ever expect.” The words worked under his skin, the praise sending a rush of hot pleasure through him. Holding onto the edge of his control with nothing more than his fingernails, he turned his head and buried his teeth in Gideon’s shoulder. The hard bite made Gideon jerk, his entire body flexing between Jesse’s. The sudden sharp taste of copper brought him back from the brink, but it seemed to push Gideon closer to his own loss of control. Gideon slid his legs farther down, exposing Jesse’s ass to his touch again. With every stroke, he kneaded the taut flesh, though the blood made his grip slippery. But not so slippery that he couldn’t find the warm valley between the cheeks. And not so slippery that he couldn’t find Jesse’s waiting hole again, this time shoving two fingers inside to match Jesse’s ferocious 144


thrusts. “Love you, Jess.” His voice was rough, muffled slightly from the pressure on his throat. “Always.” Jesse shuddered, losing all thought of control, or of holding himself back. “Love you…love…” His thoughts scattered like water across a hot skillet. Gideon’s blunt fingers curled slightly, finding his prostate with each hard thrust forward. “Yours, Gideon. I’m…” He hoped Gideon got the message, because that was the end of his words. The end of all sound. His lungs seized, his throat tightened, and he drove forward one final time. Deep in Gideon’s body, he finally let himself go. The room tilted, the floor rocked and shook, but Gideon remained firm beneath him, around him, holding him. Vaguely, he felt Gideon’s teeth at this throat. Just as the first powerful wave of pleasure crested, another roared above it, sweeping Jesse away. He reached the top again and again—just when he thought there was nothing left, everything broke apart, coalesced, and sent him rocking forward again. This was the way it was supposed to be. Flesh merging with flesh, blood mingling with blood. It trickled down his throat, sealed their skin together along with Gideon’s come. It painted the floor in great swathes of scarlet, evidence of how furiously they’d attacked each other once the whipping had ceased. Jesse tasted Gideon’s blood at the same time he knew Gideon devoured his, and the circle that created brought new aches to his bones, that knowledge of what was right, or rather, what was almost right. 145


Because someone wasn’t there. Someone was still upstairs, lost in sleep while they rutted on the playroom floor. And as their bodies slowly stopped thrashing, Jesse realized Gideon missed Emma, too. His fangs retracted. Lips moved over the fresh bite, imprinting new memories over the old. Slowly, Gideon pulled his hand free of Jesse’s stretched hole to cup his sweaty ass instead. “Next time I take you to Sangre, I promise I won’t make Emma go,” Gideon murmured. “Thank you.” Jesse kissed the corner of his mouth, smearing a bit of the blood there. “Because I was experiencing violent impulses the whole time.” “But you contained them. Which was the whole point of the exercise.” He smiled. “I think as a reward, I should let you get put back on the wheel without a belt. There’s more than one vampire in that place who would’ve loved to fuck you while you’re getting eaten like that.” Jesse rested his head on Gideon’s shoulder. They needed to get back upstairs and shower. He wanted to be back in bed before Emma woke up on her own, or worse, started sleepwalking. But at that moment, he couldn’t even think about moving. He lacked the concentration to teleport and the strength to stand on his own two feet. “Including you?” Gideon snorted. “I’m going to be dust before I ever stop wanting you.” His lips brushed across Jesse’s temple, slower, sweeter, warmer from the blood that now infused his veins. “If 146


it makes you feel better, Emma didn’t see a thing. I held her the entire time so she’d know you were okay.” Jesse nodded, relieved, though he had expected as much. “Did you tell her to put down her walls?” It took a moment for Gideon to speak. “Yes. It was the only way for her to experience what you were going through. I never picked up any pain from her, except what she was getting in scraps from the rest of the club.” “I tried to send her all the good stuff. Like before, except not enough to make her blow a fuse. I didn’t get any pain back from her.” Jesse smiled wryly. “Though, to be honest, I don’t think I would have noticed after a certain point.” “Well, I think it worked. Which just means my punishment was a resounding success and should be repeated often and as soon as possible.” When Jesse snapped his head up to stare at him, Gideon added, with faux innocence, “What? You don’t like that idea?” “The next time you punish me for a week like this, it better be because I accidentally cut off your arm or something. Wait, no. It better be because I purposefully cut off a limb.” “Aw, come on, admit it. You liked the chastity belt. Just a little bit.” Jesse touched his tongue to his lip. “A tiny bit. Maybe a weekend’s worth every other month or so.” “Every month.” “Every month? Will I get to fuck you after you unlock me?” “If I don’t fuck you first, sure.” 147


Jesse shook his head. “I want a better guarantee than that. You lock me up for a weekend every month and drive me absolutely crazy, and your ass…” He rocked against Gideon, his cock still semi-erect. “Will be my reward.” Gideon’s mouth twitched. “Someone’s getting cocky.” “Yeah, a little bit.” Jesse dropped his head again. “Do you mind?” “Ask me again when you’re not buried in my ass.” “I will. You can tell me just how cocky you’d like me to be.” He buried his face in Gideon’s neck with a soft sigh. “I love you, you know.” Gideon’s arms tightened around him, strong, reassuring, everything he had always wanted. “I know.” For a few moments, they were both silent, only the sound of Jesse’s breathing disturbing the quiet. “You think you got enough in you to get us back up to the bathroom to shower? Which, frankly, should tell you how wasted I am right now if I’m asking you to teleport me and there’s no sex involved.” Jesse nodded and slowly pushed himself into a kneeling position. Seeing Gideon stretched beneath him, muscles flexed, almost made him forget about leaving the room. But Gideon would look even better in the bed with Emma straddling his hips. That thought gave him the strength—and the motivation—he needed to teleport them both upstairs. Gideon grunted as he landed in the tub, using the sides to pull himself into a seated position. “Is she awake yet?” Jesse murmured. Gideon shook his head. 148


“Good.” He turned on the hot spray without standing. “That means we can wake her up properly.”

149


CHAPTER 10 She dreamed of darkness. Not the vague shadows of dusk. Not the vacuum of nothingness. This was the solid absence of light in the company of solid shape, all encompassing, all enwrapped. It wasn’t frightening. On the contrary, Emma took comfort in the darkness that held her in its embrace. It smelled of Jesse’s body wash, of Gideon’s cologne. Arms belonging to both men cradled her, and she burrowed into skin she knew as well as her own. Somewhere out there, light might exist. Emma knew that all it would take to find it would be to abandon what she knew and search, but she had neither the drive nor the inclination to 150


do so. Light was often deceptive. It promised answers, or at the very least, peace, but that wasn’t always the case. And she knew from the years of experience that shadows did not necessarily mean her harm. Some darkness protected. Some loved. All she had to do was place her trust in it, and everything would work out for the best. There were flashes of danger. Voices. Music. Fangs. Every time they threatened to shatter her harmony, she gathered up the threads of love that entwined around her and barricaded herself against them. She was impenetrable with Jesse and Gideon surrounding her. Sooner or later, the world would realize that and leave her alone. Slowly, she became aware of something else in the darkness. Hands caressed her bare skin, worshiping smooth landscapes of thigh and stomach with a gentleness easy to mistake for wisps of air. Her first instinct was to curl in and protect herself. It wasn’t that long ago her stomach had been a battleground of bruises and cuts. But she knew these hands, and the wounds were faded, long enough gone not to hurt or worry about. She saw no reason to turn them away, no reason to do anything but spread her legs further apart and sigh in happiness. Fingers danced over her thighs, spreading over the skin, pressing into her flesh. There might have been five fingers, or ten. The touch varied in speed, slowing as it moved up her body. Her muscles twitched, her abdomen tightening, like there were tiny shocks moving through her flesh. For an endless amount of time, there was nothing but the gentle 151


caresses. Massaging her. Shaping her. Pulling her out of the darkness, and then tenderly easing her back into her sleep, like the ebb and flow of waves. Something warm replaced the fingers. A firm, yet soft mouth. She didn’t make a sound, but a moan from elsewhere vibrated through her frame. The vibrations only increased when that soft mouth found her center, tasting the arousal gathering between her folds. Sleep scattered then, gone under the tender assault to her pussy. Her limbs were still boneless, incapable of doing anything but sliding languidly along the bare sheets at her sides. It took a moment for her to recognize that those places should not be empty, but in that time, another mouth joined the first, nibbling at the delicate skin on the inside of her knee. That mouth kissed a trail up her leg, varying the length of each caress, as well as the pressure. While one tongue fluttered over her clit, the other pair of lips distracted her with hard kisses at her hip, then her belly button. For a moment, both mouths disappeared, and she was left cold and aching. But when the lips returned to her body, they were hot from the friction of a shared kiss. She partially opened her eyes, but all she could see was a pair of dark heads, feasting on her flesh. Though her arm was molten, she somehow found the strength to lift it, to reach down, to skim her fingertips along a cheek. A jolt leapt through her, undeniable. Jesse. His name came out as a prayer. Neither man moved from their indulgence. Teeth caught her folds, though who they belonged to, she had no idea. Did it 152


matter? No, not in the slightest. Both, one, the other, the only thing that mattered was where she was, safe in their bed, secure with the men she loved, the men who had moved worlds to find her. Emma closed her eyes as a tongue slid down her pussy, stopping at her entrance. It circled her opening before slowly pushing into her channel in an excruciating exploration. Her muscles automatically clenched around the penetration, and a low series of shockwaves moved up her spine. Her clit throbbed, and she knew the teeth that closed around the sensitive flesh belonged to Gideon. The shockwaves turned electric, lighting her nerves on fire. She fisted the sheets, clenching, unclenching, her body taking on its own mind to writhe against their assault. Her breathing quickened. Soon, it would escape her completely. Whispers fell from her lips as she encouraged them on, begging for more, for any, for it all. Their rhythm wasn’t even. One would stop, the other follow. She heard them kiss more than once, Jesse’s gasps in between sizzling across skin both hers and elsewhere. Always when they returned, they would be warmer, heated by the friction. So would she, then. She stole every degree with a selfishness that surprised her. Pleasure passed freely from her body to Jesse and then back again. The part of her that was still capable of logical thought worried about the feedback loop—worried that before long they would be going too far again. But as she felt the easy waves of pleasure passing back and forth between them, 153


she let go of that tendril of fear. Jesse could control it now. He had more than proven that in Sangre. So Emma opened herself completely, letting the two men fill her anyway they could. A low growl rumbled through her thigh, followed by rough fingers scraping over her skin. “Someone’s awake,” Gideon said in a low voice. “Should we stop?” Emma held her breath, waiting for Jesse to answer. “No. It’s better now that she’s awake.” He nipped gently at her thigh. “I don’t want her to miss a second of this.” One of them spread her lips, exposing her even further. “You’re just saying that because all her walls are down.” The tongue returned, delving deep inside her channel. Emma cried out at the sudden prick of fangs along her mound, and thrashed against Gideon’s mouth. Gideon’s teeth snagged her skin, scraping across the taut and swollen flesh until tiny rivulets of blood flowed to his lips. She felt the heat of the blood against her already fevered skin, and the tiny pricks of pain only sharpened the edge of her pleasure. Pleasure that built with each thrust of Jesse’s tongue. She writhed on the bed, pushing her heels into the mattress to brace herself. As amazing as they felt, she needed more. A hand slipped beneath her bottom. From the angle, she thought it was Gideon’s, though without looking down, there was no way to be sure. Fingertips traced along the crease, not pushing between the cheeks but taunting her with their proximity, the promise of what might come. Her muscles contracted at the thought, and she lifted her hips further, hoping they would take the hint. 154


Gideon chuckled. The shift of his lips was just another kiss along her skin, the flick of his tongue catching a droplet of blood another caress. “She gets greedy when she’s awake. I’d almost think she’s taking lessons from you, Jess.” Jesse’s tongue disappeared, and she couldn’t stop her cry of protest. “She’s absolutely taking lessons from me. I think we should give her what she wants.” Instead of giving her what she wanted, Jesse straightened, completely breaking contact with her quivering body. Her muscles were tight, and Gideon’s continual lapping at her skin just wound her tighter. So did the sight of Jesse reaching for the bottle of lube that was never far from the bed. “That…” She licked her lips. She wasn’t sure when her mouth had gotten so dry. “Considering the way you’re quivering, I’d say Jesse’s got it about right.” Gideon held his hand out so Jesse could squirt some onto his fingers. “Don’t tell us you don’t want this, Emma. There’s no secrets between us tonight.” She shook her head. “No, I want it, but…when did you wake up?” There. That seemed like a coherent question, even if the rest of her thoughts refused to coalesce. Gideon gripped her by the back of the knee and pushed up, forcing her hips off the bed. He spread the lube over her ass before pushing his index finger into the tight channel. She hissed, immediately clenching around him. Jesse smoothed his palm over her chest in soft circles until she relaxed, allowing Gideon to push deeper into her body. The last time they had both fucked her had been a lifetime ago. 155


“We woke up a little while ago. Well, Gideon woke me up because, apparently, he was hungry.” She glanced down to see the top of Gideon’s head, his mouth still chasing ribbons of red along her skin. “Gideon’s always hungry.” The hand at her ass twisted, but the calming touch of Jesse’s fingertips over her breasts helped her let go of the breath she held in her lungs. “This is just to appreciate you,” Gideon murmured against her pussy. “One step at a time.” His finger eased out of her channel. “Unless you don’t think you’re ready for both of us at once yet.” “No,” she rushed to say. “I’m ready. I’m more than ready. I’ve missed you.” Jesse’s hand slid down her body, his finger sliding up and down her lips, as if testing just how ready she was. His fingertip flicked over her clit, sending a jolt up her spine. She was so focused on Jesse’s touch that she didn’t notice Gideon pushing a second finger into her ass. He pumped his wrist, fucking her with slow, measured strokes until she didn’t feel the burn of his second finger. That’s when he added the third. “Missed you, too,” Jesse murmured. “Missed having you where you belong.” She turned into his chest at that, lifting her chin to seek out his mouth. Love and lust, so tightly wound together as to be indistinguishable, burst between them, tangible even to Gideon sprawled along the foot of the bed. His careful attention to stretching her wavered with a scratch of his nails, 156


a slight sting she’d transmitted to Jesse before she even realized she was doing it. Neither of them were in a rush. Each thrust of Gideon’s fingers, each kiss and caress from Jesse, seemed calculated to prolong the contact and drive her out of her mind. Jesse kissed her neck below her ear, the hollow of her throat, each hard nipple, and then claimed her mouth, catching her moans and pleas. His mouth clung to hers, until her lungs burned and her moans morphed into desperate whimpers. Only then did Gideon pull his fingers free from her body. Jesse broke from her mouth and kissed a line to her ear. “Turn around.” She rolled away from his arms, shifting onto her side so that her ass nuzzled against Jesse’s groin. His arm came around her waist, holding her still, and he proceeded to start rocking against her, the long line of his erection sliding between her slick cheeks. Gideon appeared in front of her. His eyes were the feral gold of his vampire self, but even like that, she saw the fierce love burning in their depths. She felt it, too, when he grasped her uppermost leg and pulled it forward, draping it over his. The physical contact opened all three of them, transmitting Gideon’s emotions through her and into Jesse, as well as the reverse. Gideon’s nostrils flared. “Dangerous game, Emma.” She smiled. On a whim, she leaned closer and sealed her mouth over his, sweeping her tongue past her lips in a deep kiss. Jesse’s surprise came as a soft jolt, but it dissipated as 157


soon as Emma made it clear this was what she wanted. She didn’t kiss Gideon often when he wore his fangs, but that was mostly because he was always extra careful around her with them. Now, though, she wanted him to know—and more importantly, to understand—that she wanted him no matter what. While Gideon’s fangs scratched against her lips, cutting fine marks in her skin, Jesse dragged his cock down her ass and between her thighs to her pussy. He slid into her wet channel, coating his length with her arousal. The first thrust had her gasping for breath, the second made her push her hips back, demanding more, and when he pulled out of her, she curled her fingers into Gideon’s arms and let the sharp disappointment reflect to both of them. “No need to be impatient,” Jesse said, kissing the juncture of her neck and shoulder. He repositioned his cock at her ass, pushing against the slick ring of muscle until it gave way for him. She held her breath as he eased inside the tight passage. It wasn’t the first time they’d penetrated her ass since her return, but it didn’t happen nearly often enough for that first stroke to be an easy one. Gideon distracted her by dropping a hand to her pussy, stroking along her outer lips with an occasional glide across the inner ones. Heat bled through her, starting in the small of her back and creeping down to her thighs, up to her breasts. Jesse took his time, just as he’d promised, but he never let up on his careful entry until he was fully sheathed inside her channel. 158


Her head fell back onto his shoulder as she exhaled. “I’m glad you two woke up.” “We let you sleep as long as we could stand it,” Jesse said. His body shook against hers, trembling from the tension of remaining still as she adjusted to him. He held her until she began to relax, and then carefully eased back. She burned with each slow, careful inch, and the fire billowing beneath her skin only glowed brighter as Jesse pushed inside her again. He caught her chin, forcing her head back to claim her mouth in a hard, hungry kiss that left her completely breathless. Gideon’s fingers continued to pet her, now sinking more and more often into her pussy. Without her lips to distract him, his mouth drifted downward, over the slope of her breast, but not once did his fangs break the skin. She would have voiced encouragement, but Jesse refused to let her go, and the contentment radiating from Gideon said he didn’t need anything more anyway. At least, not until his hand disappeared, replaced by the thick line of his cock. “Beautiful Emma,” he murmured. His arm came over her hip to grasp Jesse’s instead, forcing the other man to remain still while Gideon pressed forward. The first inches slid easily, but then the fullness took over, that sensation of being stretched and burned to the edge of her limits. She squeezed her eyes shut and listened to the sounds each man made, feeling the pleasure rushing through Jesse as Gideon’s cock rubbed alongside his. He’d tried to explain it to her once, how exquisite it felt to be buried in her heat, with only the thinnest 159


of barriers separating him from Gideon. Emma never really understood it except through the tempest of his desire when all their walls were down. Once Gideon had sheathed himself completely, nobody moved for several beats of Emma’s heart. Jesse held her tightly against him, and she dropped her head back to his shoulder, gasping for breath, forcing her lungs to work again. Being caught between their bodies forced Emma to acknowledge how much strength, how much power, hid just below the surface of their skin. Gideon moved first, and Jesse followed his lead, gently rocking with the rhythm that the vampire established. Emma closed her eyes, and for a moment, she couldn’t tell where her body ended, where either one of them began, where either one of them ended. Boundaries ceased to matter as they moved with each other. *

*

*

This entire night was both everything Gideon had wanted, and nothing he’d expected. Sangre had pushed all three of them to their limits—Emma servicing someone other than him or Jesse, Jesse being forced to watch and then denied his own release, Gideon to stay strong and not bow to the excruciating pressure of giving what his two lovers wanted rather than what they needed. Once both had surpassed everything he’d hoped for, he couldn’t get them out of there soon enough. He’d wanted to hoard them for himself. The events of the playroom had left him shattered. Even 160


now, with his greater strength, Jesse didn’t top very often. It was still too foreign to Jesse to consider fucking Gideon, in spite of the several times they’d breached that particular barrier. But in the midst of all the fighting, and the glorious heat of Jesse’s blood, getting pounded into the floor had been nirvana. Waking Jesse up with the casual sucks at his neck had been more than worth it. But sharing Emma like this was the culmination of an already sublime night. Rocking against her, absorbing every bit of heat both she and Jesse couldn’t contain, overwhelmed by the purity of emotions coming from them. Usually, the feelings she transmitted translated into electrical shocks through his veins. Jolts as intoxicating as the hottest blood, the quickest heart. These smothered him so thoroughly, he was grateful he didn’t need to breathe. As it was, he could barely move. Jesse flexed beneath Gideon’s hand, his muscles rippling under the skin, and Emma tensed and arched each time they both filled her. Jesse took turns kissing both of them, his mouth pressed to Emma’s shoulder, and then against Gideon’s chin, or the corner of his mouth. He felt every flutter and clenching of Emma’s walls, as well as each twitch and throb of Jesse’s cock. Their heartbeats thrummed through him, and his fangs itched, desperate to feel flesh giving way beneath their sharp points. Emma reached for him, burying her face in his neck as her nails dug into his back. Her scorching breath interrupted his even rhythm, and he slammed a little bit harder into her pussy, 161


drawing cries from both of his lovers. “It’s okay,” Emma murmured against his skin. “Don’t you know yet this is part of why we love you so much?” His gaze snapped up, fixing on Jesse’s. He had forgotten— somehow—that he was even more laid open to her than usual when they fucked like this. Jesse amplified Emma’s empathic abilities into a razor-sharp weapon, and any wishes to hide even a corner of his thoughts were futile. Gideon had never questioned what Jesse needed from him, or what Jesse wanted, but Emma had always been a slightly different story. Her quickness to embrace the monster inside him had always left Gideon a little bit wary, even if he’d been grateful for it. He hardly expected her to vocalize his carefully hidden trepidation, especially in circumstances such as these. Jesse reached up, briefly touching the side of Gideon’s face, his fingertips drawing over his frown, before dropping his hand to stroke Emma’s hair. When Jesse spoke, the words were soft yet forceful. “Show her, Gideon.” He curled his fingers in her hair, pulling the long tresses away to expose the curve of her throat and her breast. “You don’t need to keep anything from her.” None of them moved. The only movement at all was the fluttering of Emma’s pulse in her throat. Gideon’s gaze dropped to her breast. The scratch across the nipple was fading, though it was still all too obvious, but that wasn’t what captivated him. His very first bite mark created small dimples in the soft flesh, reminders of a night best forgotten but proof of the fact that she belonged to him. 162


His mouth watered at the memory of her blood. Feeding from Jesse, from any human, created its own sense of dark bliss, but Emma had always been slightly different. Empaths offered more than their blood in the experience. They offered the seductive ecstasy of emotion as well. Very little compared. He specifically did not bite her very often because of that. Such power could be intoxicating, probably the closest to experiencing the feedback loop Emma and Jesse created that Gideon would ever get. He didn’t wish to place Emma in a position where either one of them forgot the real reasons he wanted her in his life. Carefully, Emma let Gideon go to cup her breast. Her thumb caressed the skin, and the nipple puckered even more. She leaned further against Jesse, arching her back. It was an invitation Gideon couldn’t ignore. Ducking his head, he dragged his tongue over the hard tip. Emma whimpered, and behind her, Jesse began to stroke in and out of her ass again. She held her breast higher, making it easier for Gideon to reach. Jesse ran his fingers through Gideon’s hair, his thumb brushing over his ear. For several long beats, Jesse did nothing but caress him, the simple touch not distracting from the rhythm he had started. Gideon didn’t move at all. He remained buried in Emma’s body, letting Jesse create the friction between the three of them. Gideon continued to lick Emma’s nipple, enjoying the cocktail of the salt of her skin and the smell of her arousal. Jesse gripped the back of Gideon’s neck, his fingers 163


massaging the muscles as he gently applied pressure, pushing Gideon’s mouth closer to Emma’s flesh. He didn’t stop, even when Emma’s skin vibrated against Gideon’s lips. Gideon dropped his jaw to accommodate the pressure, sucking the nipple into his mouth, and as Jesse’s nails dug into his scalp, bit down. Emma screamed, arching into his mouth. His fangs pierced pliant skin, tender membrane, soft veins. Blood exploded against his tongue, and his body started moving again of its own accord, pumping in and out of her wet pussy in time with his hard sucks against her flesh. She scrabbled at his arms, scratching along the muscles, while Jesse grunted as he slammed in and out of her ass. Gideon was the only one to maintain a slower pace. He drew it out, lost in the reverberations of Emma’s body around his, drowning in the fire of all that lust and love and hunger that surged into his mouth. In the haze of blood and the relentless beat of pleasure and hunger, he didn’t notice who peaked first. Emma screamed, her body tightening, her pussy clenching around him in rapid convulsions. Jesse’s whimper of release was much softer, and the combined bliss washed through Gideon. Her blood rushed through him. He tightened his jaw, taking a deep draught from her, and she trembled again, her body surging with the second orgasm. As her walls squeezed his cock, Gideon knew he couldn’t hold himself back. Her rapid heartbeat sent another mouthful of blood down his throat as his cock jerked, filling her with come. 164


He extracted his teeth and lapped at her skin, cleaning up the rest of the blood. Contentment moved between the three of them for only seconds before the fragile peace was interrupted by Jesse’s sharp gasp of pain. He jumped from the bed as though burned, clutching his stomach. With the spell shattered, Gideon bolted upright, while Emma scrambled after Jesse. “What’s wrong? What happened?” “I don’t…I don’t know…” Jesse winced and tried to straighten, but when Emma reached out to touch him, he shied away. “I felt that same surge of power. The one I felt before when I touched Emma. But this time… something’s wrong. Something happened.” It took Gideon a few moments to remember what Jesse was referencing. The charge he’d experienced when he’d stopped Emma in her sleepwalking. When he’d been afraid something was taking Emma away. He reached and grasped her arm, almost expecting the void he’d always felt when he’d touched her in her sleep. She eased away from Jesse reluctantly, though her wide eyes never left his face. “You’re in pain.” Her voice was tiny. “I’m hurting you?” “No, no, it’s not you, Emma. There’s something…it’s not you.” Jesse met Gideon’s gaze. “Nobody is trying to break into the dimension. You don’t have to worry about that.” “But you only get hurt when somebody is fucking with the dimension. Is it somewhere else? Do you have to leave or something?” 165


“I…I probably should go.” Jesse pulled on a pair of sweatpants. “If somebody is fucking around with the dimension nearby, Michelle will want me to go take care of it.” The last thing Gideon wanted was for him to leave, but this was who Jesse was now. This was part of being a Guardian. This was part of the price he had to pay for his immortality. Emma looked stricken. “Can we help?” Jesse smiled apologetically and reached for a T-shirt without even looking at it. “No. I’m sorry, Emma. It’s just… this isn’t something that I need help with.” “He’ll be fine, Em.” He pulled her back into the loose circle of his arms, though the anxiety emanating from her kept him ready to catch her should she attempt to flee. “This is what he does.” Keeping his features and voice as calm as possible, he asked Jess, “How long do you think you’ll be?” “Not long,” Jesse promised. “I just need to figure out where the charge came from, and if Michelle felt it, too. Maybe we’ll get lucky and it was just some sort of fluke.” Emma still didn’t look happy about the situation, but Gideon nodded. “We’ll be here.” Jesse took a partial step toward the bed, then paused with an obvious spike of confusion. “I know. Love you.” He disappeared before either had a chance to respond, teleporting out of the room in a blink. Emma jerked at his sudden disappearance, and Gideon had to tighten his embrace in order to quell the spike in her heart rate. She practically quivered. Nearly a minute passed with her 166


staring at the empty space Jesse had just filled. “Something’s wrong,” she whispered. “It’s just this dimensional crap.” Gideon brushed his lips across her temple. Fuck. Even the beads of sweat on her skin reeked of her fear. “Everything’ll be fine.” But he carefully blockaded his emotions anyway. Emma didn’t need to know he didn’t completely believe that.

167


CHAPTER 11 Jesse sank to the library floor, sitting with his back against the desk, trying to catch his breath. Somehow, even with Emma’s heightened pleasure flowing through him, even with her tight body wrapped around his cock, even with the obvious satisfaction in Gideon’s eyes when he bit Emma, Jesse had managed to control the feedback loop. Instead of letting it carry them away until all three of them forgot themselves, taking them to a place without limits, without control, without something as primal as pain, he had carefully monitored everything he absorbed and everything he sent back. Even though Emma was the one with the true empathic gift, Jesse had the control. And with that, the assurance that he would 168


not—could not—hurt her again. But that victory lasted mere seconds before a sharp, sickening pain sliced through him. It wasn’t as intense as before—not at all. Before, when Gideon had purposefully manipulated dimensional magic to bait Foster, the pain had been accompanied with the overriding, overwhelming, complete need to make it stop. This was more like the first hints of a cavity when something cold touched the tender area. The pain was sudden and breathtaking, but more startling than painful. It immediately followed the expected surge of power, and Jesse wondered if that made him more vulnerable to it. He shouldn’t have reacted so violently—or been in such a hurry— to get out, but he had been utterly disoriented. And now Gideon and Emma were no doubt worried about him. He didn’t want them to be scared or worried every time he needed to leave them. But he supposed it was one thing to know that nothing could, or would, harm him, and quite another to logically deal with that fear. He was sure it didn’t help that he had been anxious and confused when he left. And he should have walked out the door like a normal person, not teleported downstairs as though he couldn’t get away from the two of them fast enough. Gathering up his scattered thoughts, he tried to focus on the levels of energy in the house. Usually, the most he could do was sense that somebody was in the house with him, but he could always pick Michelle out easily. He assumed that had something to do with the fact that they were currently sharing power, and so they were connected to each other. Now he 169


could tell that she was in the den, where Gideon had acquiesced and installed a huge flat screen television. Michelle insisted she didn’t like television, but now that her social life was more or less dead—Jesse didn’t know if that had more to do with Dominique or her injuries—she spent more and more time in front of it. He stood and teleported to the den. Michelle was sitting on the couch with her legs in front of her, knitting needles working rhythmically between her fingers. “What are you doing?” Jesse asked. “Instead of sleeping?” “Instead of anything.” “Watching a movie. Why, what should I be doing?” “Didn’t you feel that?” “Feel what?” The needles continued, and her attention was still on the screen. Which, Jesse supposed, was all the answer he needed. “The…the dimension. It did something.” “Use your words, Jesse. What did it do?” He sighed. “It…there was some sort of power surge and then I felt like the dimension was opening.” “Do you still feel it?” “No…I don’t think so. Why aren’t you more worried?” She finally lowered the scarf, or the sweater, or whatever the hell it was. “I didn’t feel anything, Jess.” Jesse sat down heavily. On the screen, Cary Grant slugged Jimmy Stewart on the chin. “How is that possible? I’m not making it up. I didn’t imagine it.” 170


“I don’t believe you are imagining it.” “But you didn’t feel anything?” Michelle shook her head. “You might have got some wires crossed.” Jesse arched his brow. “Do Guardians regularly get their wires crossed?” “No. I just thought I’d try to make you feel better about the situation.” “Thanks.” “You’re sure about what you felt?” Jesse nodded. “There’s no pain quite like that pain. It’s like somebody is tearing me from inside.” Michelle lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug. “Well, that’s more or less what’s happening.” “What do you mean?” “You know what I mean.” Michelle resumed her knitting, straightening the long strand of red yarn. “You know that the dimension is a part of you. You and it are not separate entities.” “I know you’ve said so. But I can’t…it just doesn’t make any sense to me.” “It’s one of the things you just have to accept.” “I’m not very good at just accepting things.” “The fact that you live with a vampire shows how false that statement is.” Jesse sighed. “You really didn’t feel anything? If somebody isn’t manipulating the dimension, what else could cause it?” 171


“Nothing.” “Something happened,” Jesse insisted. “I already told you that I believe you. Wait…you said you felt a surge of power? What sort of power?” “I don’t know. Sometimes when I touch Emma, it gives me a bit of a shock.” “A bad one?” “Not at all. It’s the sort of surge I get when I’m reaching through dimensions.” Jesse frowned. “And why aren’t you sleeping?” “Insomnia. Do I want to know why you weren’t asleep?” “I have a feeling you already do. I think I’m going to go do some research. Maybe I’ll come across something in one of the books.” “Dominique misses you, you know.” Jesse grimaced. “I know. I haven’t exactly been available the past week.” “What about tomorrow?” “Yeah, I’ll be available tomorrow.” “Good.” “You should get some sleep,” Jesse said, standing. “I will in a bit. You should, too, you know.” “No. You know I can’t while this is on my mind. If something is wrong…if somebody is up to no good…it’ll be best to know now. We don’t want to get blindsided.” Michelle nodded, as if she completely accepted his explanation. But she knew him well enough to know there was more to it than that. She must have heard the fear beneath the 172


words, seen it in his eyes. Something was wrong, and Jesse knew there really was no such thing as coincidences. *

*

*

Something jabbed at his shoulder. Jesse tried to ignore it, but it came back, harder, thinner, and accompanied by an annoyed teenager’s voice. “You might want to take this upstairs before your drool soaks through those books, Jesse.” “What?” Jesse sat up, his eyes feeling gritty and full of fog. “What? I’m not drooling.” Dominique sat on the edge of his desk, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt that looked like it had been painted on. The words, “I recycle boys,” were emblazoned across her chest. “You’ve got Lake Michigan going there,” she said, jerking her chin toward the book he’d fallen asleep on. “What’s up? I haven’t seen you crash in here since Emma came home.” “I haven’t had to do this sort of research since Emma came home,” Jesse said, stretching his back. His tongue felt thick, and the back of his throat itched. He felt like he could drink an entire pot of coffee. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for school? Or is today Saturday?” She cocked a brow. “You been locked up in a cage, you forget when it’s the weekend?” Jesse blinked, wondering if Dominique had somehow twigged to what was happening on her own. But she looked more skeptical than knowing, so he shrugged it away. “Yeah, something like that. What time is it? Is Emma already up?” 173


“About nine. Emma and Michelle are in the kitchen, getting breakfast ready. They told me to come get you.” She craned her neck, trying to see what book he’d been reading. “What’s going on you need to research? Something David has to come back for?” “No. It doesn’t have anything to do with David. Well, I don’t think it does.” Jesse closed the book on the desk with a little more force than necessary. “Not that I really know what to think.” “It’s not going to keep you in here all day, is it? Because I want to go shopping for The Roots concert today.” Jesse frowned. “You want to go shopping for what?” “The Roots concert. Next month?” A swift frown pulled her brows together. “Don’t tell me you’re backing out on me now. I already told Brittany and Marcy we were going.” “No, I know. We’re still going to the concert. I’m asking what you think you need for the concert.” “Something to wear.” It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her she already had clothes, but he stopped the words. For one thing, he didn’t want to sound like he was an old man with a foot in the grave. For another thing, he had been known to buy special clothes for concerts. Of course, he had only thought about buying new clothes when he had been interested in a new boy. “You’re not going to meet any boys at the concert, are you?” “Meet? No. Happen to bump into?” She grinned. “If I can find a killer shirt, oh yeah.” 174


“It’s going to be hard to bump into any boys while I’m shadowing your every step.” “Oh, please. I can lose your ass as easy as follow it.” “It’s fine that you believe that. It’ll just make my job easier.” Dominique snorted. “Right. Because you’re going to be able to take your eyes off Emma for more than two seconds to even notice what I’m doing.” “Well, I probably deserve that.” He more than deserved that. Especially after the last week. “But I still notice what you’re doing, Dominique.” His assertion seemed to make her uncomfortable, and she shrugged as she hopped off the desk. “You don’t have to say shit like that. I know things are changing around here. Just don’t lie to me about it, okay?” “I’m not lying to you. I mean, yeah, things are changing around here. We’re all trying to adjust. That means I have to adjust to being a little less….self-absorbed. It doesn’t mean I am going to just push you to the backburner. It certainly doesn’t mean that I’d want to do something like that.” “I know. But you and me both know what we want and what we get isn’t always the same thing.” Jesse could handle her anger. In fact, he always found her anger quite endearing. But he couldn’t handle the resignation in her words. The sense that she was about to lose somebody else that she loved, and there was no sense in resisting what could only be deemed as inevitable. “Don’t give up on me yet, okay?” 175


A flash of her usual spunk flittered across her eyes. “Fuck, I’m not giving up. I didn’t sidecar all last summer to miss out on the good stuff. I just…Michelle’s getting better, and you’ve got Emma and Gideon back, and I just…” Her voice faded. With a grimace, she waved him off and headed for the door. “Never mind.” “You just what?” Jesse prompted gently. “Are you worried that Michelle won’t need you after she recovers, and I won’t need you because Emma is back?” “Oh, you’re always going to need me, whether you know it or not.” But her sassy words were shadowed by her lack of eye contact, and she shoved her hands into her back pockets. Taking a deep breath, she blurted, “Sometimes, I wish it was just us again. Not that I want you miserable, but, you know, the way it used to be.” Jesse understood, probably better than Dominique realized. Sometimes, he looked back on the years when it was just him and Gideon, in Gideon’s apartment, with a sharp sense of nostalgia. Even the years when Gideon held him at arm’s length, doing everything he could to keep his distance, had their own attraction. “But we can’t go back to the way it used to be. I understand why you want to. For awhile, you were the best thing in my life. You got the sort of attention you deserved— the sort I can’t spare anymore. Maybe we should try to find some middle ground.” “Until Michelle moves us out of here, at least.” Jesse’s lips thinned. “I don’t…I don’t think that’s going to 176


happen, Dominique.” “You really are living on another planet if you think Michelle’s going to want to stick around here longer than she has to.” “She wants me to do what I need to do in order to completely assume her powers. In the near future. Do you know what that means?” “Yeah, it means you’re not going to need her anymore, so she can move us out.” Jesse considered nodding and saying, “Yes, that’s exactly it.” But lying to her wouldn’t do her any favors. “She’s not going to survive it. That’s why I haven’t done it yet.” Dominique didn’t get rattled easily. Jesse had seen her after sneaking into a vampire BDSM club in London, and she’d been angrier at him more than horrified at her surroundings. But the way she blanched at his words made his blood run cold, and in the space of seconds, turned her back into a young girl. “What do you mean, she’s not going to survive? She’s doing better. She’s stronger every day.” “She’s being sustained by her Guardian powers. She could live forever as she is now. But that’s all that’s sustaining her right now. Those injuries…they’re fatal injuries. Michelle knows this, even if she won’t admit it.” “So why the fuck would she want you to finish it? You can’t kill her, Jesse. You can’t.” Jesse took a deep breath, feeling like he had blundered through this with all of Gideon’s usual grace and tact. “It’s 177


complicated. I don’t want to finish it. I don’t want to do anything to hurt her. I wish I could tell you that what we want is always what we get.” She shook her head. “All that power you got. What good is it if you can’t save the people important to you?” Jesse wasn’t convinced Michelle wanted to be saved. But he couldn’t expect Dominique to even begin to understand that. So he just mirrored Dominique’s helpless shake of a head. “I don’t know. You still feel like going shopping?” It took long seconds for her to answer. “Sure. I guess.” She gnawed at her lower lip for a moment before adding, “Can it just be you and me? Grab some dogs from Max’s?” “Yeah, of course. We’ll go after breakfast.” He wiped some of the dry slobber from his mouth. “And I guess I better get a shower and change, first.” “Only if you promise me you won’t wake Gideon up to join you. Because then we’ll never get our asses out of here.” “Just go, before I change my mind. Oh, and will you tell Emma I want to talk to her?” “Sure.” She was halfway out the door when she paused. Her voice was soft when she spoke. “And thanks, Jess.” He inclined his head, speaking in the same tone. “You’re welcome.” No more than two or three minutes passed before Emma entered the room. She immediately wrapped her arms around him, and he tensed slightly, a part of him waiting for a twinge of pain. When he felt nothing, he relaxed into her embrace, kissing the top of her head. 178


“I’ve got to take a fifteen-year-old girl shopping today.” She smiled against his chest. “Lucky you.” “I’m scared that I’m going to ruin said fifteen-year-old’s entire life.” “Then make Gideon take her shopping. Problem solved.” Jesse snorted. “That’s actually not the root of my concern.” Emma pulled back to look up at him. For the first time, he noticed the shadows under her eyes, eyes that were darker and more solemn than usual. She hadn’t slept after he’d left; he would bet anything on it. “What’s going on?” “Oh, you know, the usual. Dominique is a child who desperately needs a stable role model and parental figure in her life, and not only have I been neglecting her, I just told her that her mother-figure could die at any time, and when she does, it’ll probably be my fault. There’s a reason I never planned to have kids…well, okay, there are many.” “You’ve been busy. You can’t blame yourself for that.” “Yes, I can. When she’s been feeling neglected and ignored, I can damned well blame myself for that. I owe her, Emma. I do. More than…hell, Gideon owes her, too. What am I supposed to say to her? Just tell her to put her life on hold because I’m too busy and Michelle is too wrapped up in her own fucking death wish to worry about sticking around a few more years?” “You’re not putting her life on hold. Didn’t you tell me we were taking her to some concert next month? And you’re going out with her today. And I know for a fact that realizing 179


this now means you’ll make more time for her, even if it means putting other stuff on the back burner to do it. Because that’s the kind of man you are. Stop selling yourself so short.” “Would you be willing to spend some time with her? I don’t know how to deal with a teenager. Especially of the girl variety.” “You know I will, but I find it very hard to believe you don’t know how to deal with her. Look at all the time you two spent together in England.” “Things weren’t…normal in England. Dominique had been ripped from her home, and she was dealing with the loss of Rita. I don’t even think Michelle saw her as a real person. We were both locked up in my dad’s house, and there was a real sense that it was just us against the world. It’s different now. For both of us.” “You were friends. And now you have to be a parent. Is that what you’re having problems with?” “Yes. It feels like I’m her last, best hope for one. What sort of cosmic joke is that?” Emma’s gaze softened. “It’s not a joke. You take care of a lot of people, Jess. The fact that Dominique is a teenager shouldn’t make a difference. You’ve already got her love and respect. That’s the hard part.” “The hard part is making sure that I keep it. Or maybe making sure I’m worthy of it. I think the first thing should be no more ignoring her for a week at a time.” Her soft laugh came with another wrap of her arms around his waist. “That was Gideon’s fault, not yours. Maybe the next 180


time Gideon wants to punish us, you should tell Dominique. It might be cute to see her try and tell him to back off.” “Try nothing. Knowing her, she’d get right in Gideon’s face and dare him to do something about it. Not that I would ever mention potential punishments to her. She already knows way too much for her own good.” Warmth began to flow from Emma’s pores, the same kind of soothing comfort she always tried to share when he was feeling low. “Ah, see, now I get it. It’s not that you don’t feel like a parent already. It’s that you do, and Dominique knows all your dark secrets.” Jesse closed his eyes, letting the warmth burn away the strands of anxiety. “I still hate that she followed me to that BDSM club. I’m glad that Gideon has a lock on the playroom, so she can’t go investigating…” The words strangled in his throat as fresh pain bloomed in his chest. He released Emma quickly, stumbling to put distance between them. “Oh, God.” Confusion flashed across her face, quickly replaced by alarm. “What’s wrong?” “Oh…the dimensional disturbance. I felt it again.” Jesse smiled, or tried to, to quell her alarm. “You’re not practicing dimensional magic behind my back, are you?” “Of course not. Unless I’m sleepwalking, of course.” The last was clearly meant to be a joke, but the significance made her eyes widen. “Wait. Is this like last night?” “Yes.” Jesse rubbed his chest absently, as if he could soothe away the pain there. “Though, since Michelle hasn’t marched in here yet, I’m guessing that she still didn’t feel it.” 181


“What actually happened last night? Did you have to go out?” “I talked to Michelle, and she didn’t feel anything. Not even a twinge. So I came in here and started to do some research. Not that there are many books that deal with this sort of thing, and the ones I have are completely unhelpful. There’s a problem somewhere, I just don’t know what or where.” “But you’ve felt it. Twice now.” She took a step away, fumbling behind her for the edge of the desk to help guide her without having to look back. “And the only thing both times have in common is me.” “It’s not you.” The protest came automatically, though even as he said the words, he knew he could be wrong. “There’s a reasonable explanation.” But the look on her face said she didn’t believe him. “Does it still hurt? Or does it go away?” “Right now? Yeah, it’s still hurting a bit. It’ll probably fade in a bit.” “I should go get Michelle.” “No, don’t worry about it. I’ve got to go shower and get dressed. When I get home, I’ll talk to her.” “Do you promise?” “Of course. Trust me, this isn’t something I’m going to ignore. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.” Emma retreated the rest of the way to the door, her body tight with anxiety. “Okay,” she conceded. “I won’t say anything to her until you do. You’re going to stay and have pancakes first, though, right?” 182


Jesse nodded. “I have the feeling that I’m going to need some heavy duty carbs to get through a shopping trip with Dominique. Hey, don’t worry too much, okay?” She tried to smile, but failed. “That would be a lot easier if I wasn’t the one you had to push away because it hurt to touch me.” She sighed. “I better get back and make sure Michelle doesn’t try and hide the syrup again. Don’t be too long.” With that, she was gone. “Well, I’m really on a roll today,” Jesse muttered as he gathered the books from his desk. It didn’t hurt to touch her. It only hurt when she tried to push emotions onto him, and even then, there was probably an explanation that had nothing to do with her. He should have tried to make that clear before she had the chance to jump to the worst conclusions. A part of him wanted to sit right back down and start working through the puzzle, but just the thought of the disappointment in Dominique’s eyes prompted him to climb up to the second level, put the books away, and slip out into the hall. There would be plenty of time to deal with this issue after he dealt with Dominique’s need for clothes. He just hoped he didn’t manage to upset anybody else in the process.

183


CHAPTER 12 Gideon’s skin crawled. He didn’t have to be present— Jesse had promised up and down that nothing would happen to Emma—but Gideon just couldn’t be someplace else, not when so much was at stake. It was ridiculous to think that Emma could in any way be responsible for whatever dimensional pains Jesse was feeling, and yet, the coincidences didn’t sit right with any of them. Even Michelle, who had brushed off Jesse’s pains last night, seemed concerned. The fact that Emma had been messing with a dimensional magic book while she’d been sleepwalking had been the deal breaker. Now, they just had to test to see if there was anything dimensional going on with Emma that none of them were 184


aware of. Emma and Jesse sat in the middle of the living room floor. There was a reluctance between them that hadn’t been there the day before, that slight hesitation to make physical contact with the other. Emma’s stemmed from the fear of hurting Jesse, Jesse’s from being hurt. Gideon didn’t like either response. It felt like everything he had been working for during their punishment had been wasted. Emma wouldn’t even put her walls down until she absolutely had to for their tests. “I think maybe we should start with the physical contact,” Jesse said. “Don’t lower your walls, just touch me.” Emma inclined her head and reached out to touch his arm. Her fingers curled around his bare skin, and they sat like that for long seconds, neither reacting visibly. Emma kept her eyes glued to his face, as if waiting for any sign of discomfort. Jesse’s face remained impassive, except for the questioning light in his eyes. “Okay, so it’s not regular contact. Now, send me something.” “What?” Jesse lifted his shoulder. “Pleasure. Or at least something positive.” Emma nodded and closed her eyes, her fingers flexing, tightening her grip. Gideon tried to guess at what thoughts she was drawing on—maybe memories of what the three of them shared the night before. Only seconds passed before Jesse hissed and yanked back. 185


“I didn’t feel anything,” Michelle volunteered. “But Jesse did,” Gideon said. “His heart’s racing.” So was Emma’s, but he wasn’t going to mention that particular fact. “Is it everything I transmit?” Tentatively, Emma touched the back of Jesse’s hand, her eyes staying open this time. Gideon got a flash of something sharp and acrid, but only for a moment before Jesse snatched his arm away again. The walls came slamming back up again, masking the crumpling of Emma’s features. “I guess so.” “It wasn’t doing this before,” Gideon said. “Emma had her walls down all week, and nothing happened.” “Something obviously changed,” Michelle commented. “Nothing changed.” But even as he snapped the words out, Gideon realized something had. Emma had gone to Sangre for the very first time the night before. Then hours later, Jesse complained of pain. Had something happened there? “One thing has changed.” Jesse rubbed his chest and stomach. “I’ve learned how to filter her emotions and separate them from mine. Before, especially when we were caught in a loop, everything just sort of jumbled together.” Emma looked even more stricken than she had before. “So it’s possible I’ve been hurting you all along?” “Yes, though I doubt you’ve been causing me any harm. If you were, you’d be injuring the dimension.” “We should try to find out if she is,” Michelle said. “How?” Jesse asked. “If she’s interfering with the dimension, there are ways to test it.” 186


“No.” The single word came out more sharply than Gideon intended, but even with Michelle scowling in his direction, he didn’t care. “Emma’s been through enough. If something was wrong with the dimension, you two would be tearing the walls down.” Michelle sighed. “I know it’s very difficult for you to understand this, Gideon, so I’ll speak slowly. You are not in charge here. And I would never suggest we do anything that hurts Emma.” “I have a say about what happens to her.” “It’s okay, Gideon.” Though she spoke to him, Emma still had her eyes fixed on Jesse. “I’ll do whatever I have to. I don’t want to be responsible for making things worse.” “Thank you, Emma. Jesse, go get the hurlbat.” “Oh, hell no!” Gideon blocked the doorway even before Jesse rose to his feet. “Since when does bloodshed count as not hurting someone?” “If you keep being an idiot, the only person, and I use that term loosely, who sheds any blood here will be you,” Michelle rejoined. “Jesse has felt a surge of power from her not once, but twice. If she’s full of dimensional power, then she’ll be able to handle the hurlbat without injury.” “Or she gets her skin seared off by touching it. You must be pretty sure she’s filled to the brim with this dimensional crap to make that kind of call.” “It won’t be any worse than if I touched a hot stove,” Emma said. “If it hurts, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to pull away before it does any real damage.” 187


“You don’t have to do this, Em. They have the answers they need.” She shook her head. “No, they don’t. Not yet.” “We don’t have to test the hurlbat,” Michelle said. “We can just leave it and over time, the pain will become so intense for Jesse that he won’t even be able to be near her. Will that be worth saving Emma some minor discomfort now?” “I’ll go get the hurlbat,” Jesse cut in before Gideon had the chance to respond. “Don’t try to kill each other while I’m gone.” Gideon wouldn’t have made any promises, but he couldn’t even say as much before Jesse popped out of the room and returned with the weapon. He kneeled across from Emma once again and delicately sat the heavy weapon on the floor between them. Emma’s racing heart beat against Gideon’s eardrums. She had to have her walls up; there was no way Jesse would appear so calm if he had any idea how anxious she was about this. Gideon knew why, even if Michelle was being obtuse about it. The hurlbat was dangerous, no matter what happened. Either Emma got hurt, or they found out there was some kind of dimensional thing happening inside her. Both were cause for alarm. He wondered if anybody else saw the faint tremor in her hand as she reached toward the weapon. Nobody spoke. Gideon braced himself as her fingertips touched the curved blade. Emma exhaled. “It doesn’t hurt.” 188


Michelle nodded with obvious satisfaction. “That’s good. Now we at least have an idea of what we’re working with.” “What?” Jesse asked. “I think we should test a few more things. Have you ever tried to teleport with Emma?” Gideon curled his hands into fists and shoved them under his armpits. Folding in on himself like that was the only way not to try and smash Michelle’s mouth in. Any good will he had harbored toward her over the past month was now gone. “I don’t know…” Emma pulled away from both the hurlbat and Jesse, her eyes darting everywhere. “I don’t think I like that idea.” “It doesn’t hurt,” Jesse said softly. “It can be a bit startling, but it doesn’t hurt.” “But what’s it going to prove? You can teleport with anybody.” “So do either you or Gideon want to figure out what’s going on? Because if not, you can stop wasting our time.” “Michelle,” Jesse said sharply. “Cool it. Just tell her what’s going on.” “I shouldn’t have to. Both of them should be willing to figure out what is happening here. This isn’t a whim. Or dimensional crap, as Gideon so poetically put it. This is having an effect on the fabric of reality.” “I am willing,” Emma argued. “But something is going on with me, and I deserve to know what exactly you’re trying to prove. I’m not some guinea pig for you to experiment on.” “If you are somehow in conflict with the dimension, then 189


you’ll disrupt even basic dimensional magic,” Michelle said, her words clipped. “Wait.” That was worse than what Gideon had expected. “You want Jesse to teleport her because you think it’s going to get fucked up somehow? What kind of brilliant idea is that? They could end up in six different pieces.” “Gideon, every day I marvel anew that you can do even basic tasks, like tie your shoes. Just because every brilliant idea you’ve had has ended in bloodshed doesn’t mean mine will have the same consequences.” When Gideon’s mouth opened to snap back at Michelle, Emma held her hand up and cut him off. “Stop. Please.” She looked at Jesse, her gaze pleading. “If you tell me there’s nothing to worry about, I’ll trust you.” “There’s not going to be anything to worry about,” Jesse said softly. “You’ll feel like something is pulling at you, and it might upset your stomach a little bit, but it’s not painful. If there is some sort of conflict with the dimension, like Michelle said, it’s obviously small enough that it can’t even be felt under normal circumstances. Nobody is going to end up in six different pieces.” Though Jesse didn’t glance in his direction, Gideon scowled at the unspoken reprimand. He didn’t think it was so bad to worry about Emma. After all, she’d only been back a month after having been snatched through dimensions and God knew what else. But clearly, nobody else was thinking about history here. All they were worried about were their precious dimensional walls and what might be happening to 190


them. “Okay.” Emma started to reach for him, and then stopped. “I can keep my walls up, right? I could touch the hurlbat with them up. That means it doesn’t matter for the Guardian stuff, doesn’t it?” “No, I don’t think it does.” Jesse stood and pulled Emma to her feet. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close even though she tensed against him. “Just hold on. It’ll be over before you know it.” Gideon wanted to protest one more time, but Jesse’s brow had a determined set, and he knew it wouldn’t do any good. They snapped from view, immediately leaving a void that made Gideon’s teeth ache. But he barely had a chance to blink before they returned, several feet to the right. “She’s pulling me off target,” Jesse announced. Gideon’s stomach sank. This was very likely the confirmation Michelle had wanted. “So what does that mean?” Emma looked between Michelle and Jesse in search of an answer before finally settling on Michelle. “You said I was in conflict with this dimension. I don’t know what you mean by that.” “It means that for some reason, you’re hurting the dimension. I don’t know why.” Emma’s eyes widened. “Hurting the dimension how? Why?” “It could be a consequence of what Castelain did to you. It could be a consequence of the magic John used when he tore the dimensions open. It could be a connection to the other 191


dimension. It could be that the dimension doesn’t recognize you as belonging here.” Jesse swallowed. “For the same reason we can’t visit another dimension for more than a week.” She blanched. Pulling away from Jesse’s hold, she backed away from him, not stopping until she was almost to the door. “Is that why I’m sleepwalking? Because I don’t belong here?” All Gideon wanted to do was console her. Reaching for her, he said, “Emma—” “Don’t!” She twisted out of his reach, nearly tripping over an end table in her efforts to get away from both of them. “Just don’t. You don’t know what’ll happen.” “Touching you isn’t going to make the dimension explode,” Gideon assured. “He’s right,” Jesse said. “Look…we definitely need to figure out what’s happening before it gets worse, but the very fact that I can only sense it under certain circumstances tells me that it’s not harmful right now. At all. Because Emma…becoming a Guardian didn’t give me a vague sixth sense. It’s a part of who I am. I can see it all of the time. It moves when I breathe, it moves with my pulse. So I do know what’s going to happen if we touch you. Just like I knew you wouldn’t be harmed when you teleported.” Emma was still poised like she wanted to flee, her fingers folding the hem of her shirt back and forth between them. “For how long? And why doesn’t Michelle feel any of this when it happens? Why is it only you, Jess?” Her eyes glistened. “Do you know how much it kills me thinking I’m hurting you?” 192


“I don’t know why Michelle doesn’t feel it. Maybe because I’m stronger than her now. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re closer to me, physically and emotionally, when it happens. But Emma…” Jesse took a step toward her, though he still wasn’t in touching distance. “Remember that you can’t really hurt me. Not unless you attack me with the hurlbat.” Her gaze slid to the discarded weapon on the floor. “And my sleepwalking? What if I do something then?” “We won’t let you,” Gideon said. “Trust us, Em. We’ve been extremely careful about watching you, ever since you got back.” “We’ll make sure the hurlbat is completely out of your reach,” Jesse promised. “There’s nothing else you could do while sleepwalking that would hurt me. I once tried to blow myself up and got a few minor flesh wounds for my trouble.” “You did what? Why—” Emma stopped and shook her head. “Never mind. I think I know.” Gideon edged forward at the same slow pace Jesse had set. “His point is, nothing has to change. You’ll just keep your walls up while we sort out what exactly is going on.” When he rested his hand on her shoulder, she tensed but didn’t run. “And how are we going to do that?” she asked, looking to Jesse. “Jesse and I will trace the problem until we figure out exactly what is putting you in conflict with the dimension. I would guess it’s because of Castelain,” Michelle said. “And then we reverse it.” Easier said than done, Gideon thought. But he was done 193


sniping with Michelle. Emma didn’t need to hear his doubts about all this. She was too astute not to see it all the way to the root of his fears. “Are we done testing here?” Gently, he pulled Emma back into his chest. She wasn’t going to be comfortable touching Jesse just yet, but she needed more comfort than a squeeze of her shoulder would offer. “I think we can all use a break.” “We’re done testing right now,” Michelle said. “But we’re not done for the day, no.” “You mean, you and Jesse aren’t done.” Gideon glared at her. “I’m getting Emma out of here for a nice dinner. I’ll even take Dominique with us and get her out of your way.” “Jesse has explicitly said that the pain he feels is associated with tears or injuries to the dimension. We need to do a spell to reveal any small ones. And since that pain is focused on Emma, she needs to be here,” Michelle explained. “It’s okay, Gideon.” Emma turned around in his arms. Her face had grown paler in the past few minutes, her eyes darker. Haunted didn’t even begin to cover it. “The sooner we find answers, the sooner things can get fixed. I want to do this.” “But I do appreciate that you’ll be keeping Dominique occupied tonight,” Michelle added. His jaw snapped shut. He couldn’t argue with Emma, not about something as serious as this, and he trusted Jesse to do the right thing. The last thing he wanted was to be stuck on babysitting duties, but considering the alternative was an evening with Michelle, he didn’t really have much of a choice. “Fine.” Reluctantly, he let Emma go, though he noticed 194


she didn’t automatically gravitate to Jesse’s arms like she normally did. Jesse noticed it, too, unfortunately. “But I’m not leaving the house. If you need anything, I’m going to be right here, understand?” “Yes, I know. You’ll be prepared to get in the way at the first opportunity. Jesse and I need to prepare. You guys don’t have to wait here.” “Emma, do you want to go take a walk or something?” Jesse asked, almost as if he didn’t even hear Michelle’s announcement. “We could go get some coffee.” The relief coming from Emma was palpable. If it caused Jesse any pain, he didn’t let on. “I’d love that. Just us.” Gideon felt a little hurt at being excluded, but frankly, he knew they needed the time together. He backed off even further, heading for the door. “I’ll let Dominique know she’s stuck with me later. Maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll decide to go over to a friend’s house.” “You won’t be that lucky,” Michelle assured him with a sweet smile. “Jesse, we actually do have work we need to do.” “I know. We won’t be gone long. But it’s not too cold outside, and it’d be a shame if Emma were cooped up indoors all day.” Gideon left them discussing the merits of the weather and their schedule. Jesse was the only one who could handle Michelle anyway. And maybe, just maybe, they’d find some kind of answers before the end of the night. Emma wasn’t the only one who wanted things back to the way they were. 195


Gideon was ready to move on, once and for all.

196


CHAPTER 13 Jesse and Emma lingered over their coffee for over an hour, and Jesse hoped that at least some of her fears were assuaged before they returned to the house. He supposed the only way to truly make her feel better was to solve the problem immediately, with as little pain and inconvenience as possible. Except, things never seemed to work out that way. Jesse had no doubt that he and Michelle would be able to pinpoint the problem and solve it, but he didn’t think it would be without its difficulties. When they finally returned, Michelle bullied him into the library and ranted for over fifteen minutes about how stubborn and belligerent Gideon was, how he wasn’t going to be happy 197


until he ruined everything, and how he had zero imagination and even less sense. Jesse let her rant. Not because she had anything worthwhile to say, but because she hadn’t said one negative word about Gideon for the entire previous month, and he figured she needed to vent a bit before things really reached a boiling point. Once she worked that out of her system, they discussed the spell they would use on Emma. Though it was more of a spell around Emma, not actually on her. As Michelle explained it, there were always little tears and scars, minor ones all over the place. Sometimes, they could be sensed, but they weren’t big enough to be seen. At first, they had debated performing the spell in the bedroom—something Gideon probably would not have tolerated—but since Jesse felt a twinge of pain in the living room, they decided that would suffice. The spell, once spoken, would highlight any problems to be clearly visible. Michelle forced Jesse to memorize it from the book, and they practiced it once before Emma entered the room. The dimensional walls shimmered in front of him, bright enough to make his eyes water. He swallowed hard, momentarily overwhelmed by the sheer size, the endless expanse, the wonderment of eternity. It wasn’t meant to be seen. Jesse knew that much. Nobody should see this, but he did. He could. Every waking moment. There was no tearing in the room, nothing to cause even a moment of discomfort. Jesse decided not to mention that fact to Emma when he went to fetch her. She didn’t need more reason to alarm. 198


He found her in the small south-facing room she’d long ago delegated for her artwork. She had never done anything but the most basic of projects, more of an admirer than practitioner, but she had spent more than a fair share of time in the room ever since getting rescued. Not creating, but appreciating. Pieces she admired hung on the wall, and there was a short couch where she would curl up just to sit and stare at her collection. She sat there now as Jesse came to the doorway. “I miss my job,” she said softly, before he had the chance to speak. Her hands were twisting the hem of her shirt again. It was a habit he’d thought she’d broken, but apparently, it had returned. “I’m probably recovered enough to start looking for something new, don’t you think?” “Yes, I think you probably are. Of course, the real question is whether or not Gideon could handle having you out of the house for an extended period of time every day.” Without rising, she twisted to glance back at him. “He lets you out.” “That’s been a relatively recent development, actually. Plus, he hasn’t been able to forge chains that can hold me. Yet.” “Would it bother you if I got a job?” “Would it bother me? No. But honestly, that’s only because I’d be able to sense Castelain if she ever returned, and then teleport to your side instantly, and tear her apart with my bare hands. Gideon doesn’t have that luxury.” He was relieved to see her smile, though he was more than 199


serious about what he said. “You two are good for a girl’s ego.” She stood and stretched, a sensual movement inherent in her grace, not in any intent to seduce. That had always been her greatest charm, her sheer obliviousness to her appeal. “I’m guessing because you’re here, you’re ready for me?” “Yes. It’s going to be over quickly. So quickly that Gideon might not even realize what we’re up to until after we’re done.” Jesse took her hand. “Would you try to get your job back at the museum?” “I don’t know.” She leaned her cheek against his arm as they headed for the stairs. Her walls were up, but Jesse didn’t care as much about that as he did that she was touching him without reservation again. He had not endured the week of punishment without her to lose her over something as trivial as this was likely to be. “They’d probably take me, but I’m not sure I want to go back there.” “Why not?” “I wonder if it’s time to try something new. Something more intimate. I thought I’d check with some of the galleries around town and see if anybody needed help.” Jesse nodded. “I think any artist would be thrilled to have you help with their exhibits. You’ve got a good eye for the work.” “That’s what I’m hoping.” She grinned up at him, surprisingly carefree in light of her earlier mood. “And I figure I have a better shot at that than convincing Gideon to finance me in my own gallery. Not after how hard we had to work on him to get this house.” 200


“Probably. Although, if you’re ever going to convince him to part with some of his treasure, now is a good time to do it. You’ll probably never get a chance as perfect as this one.” Her light laughter was a welcome balm to the anxiety that had torn both of them apart earlier. “Guilt money. Yeah, that’s what I want. Gideon will never let me live it down then.” “He’d never mention it. He’d be too embarrassed that our evil plot worked.” “He’d make it seem like it was his idea all along, just to save face.” “Exactly. Which means when your gallery becomes the hottest thing in Chicago, he can proudly take all the credit.” She sighed, so deeply Jesse knew he would have felt the contentment radiating from her if she’d only had her walls down. “It’s a nice dream.” “It doesn’t just have to be a dream, Emma. There’s not one good reason you couldn’t have this, or whatever else you want.” “Maybe.” But she didn’t sound convinced. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, she straightened and put the distance between them again, though thankfully didn’t let go of his hand. “What is all this going to involve? Do I have to do something special, or just be in the room?” “You just stand in the middle of the room, I mutter a few words, and then I’ll be able to see if there are any problems. You won’t feel anything, and it’ll probably all be over before you even realize it’s happening.” She nodded, but didn’t say another word even after they 201


entered the front room. The color had blanched from her cheeks again, and with her long hair in mild disarray from lounging on the couch in her art room, she almost seemed like a wild child who had wandered in from nowhere. Michelle already waited for them, looking a little impatient. Jesse felt more than a little impatient, too, but only because he knew he was only minutes away from putting Emma’s mind at ease—and by extension, Gideon’s. Emma stood with her hands at her side, her eyes locked on Jesse’s face as he began reciting the words. Even under the weight of Emma’s gaze, his mind didn’t stray from the required incantation. For a moment, everything blurred, like his eyes were relaxing. For a moment, there were two Emma’s standing in front of him, the space between them growing wider as he spoke. Then as he muttered the final word, the two shapes were joined once more, and she glowed, brighter than the dimensional walls surrounding her. “Michelle? Do you…” “I see it.” “Emma…I need you to transmit something. Anything.” Her eyes held their own sort of luminance, dark with sudden fear. “Without touching you?” When he nodded, she took a deep breath. “Okay.” Long lashes fell. Her chest rose. Jesse watched in choked anticipation for whatever she would decide to send. A moment later, love—pure, hot, brilliant as a desert sun—engulfed him, wrapping him in a close embrace to blot out the rest of the world. 202


Pain edged the embrace, sharp like fishhooks digging into his chest. He kept his features as even and schooled as possible, but Emma was glowing brighter. Nothing else in the room reacted to the incantation at all. It was only her, and her beautiful eyes, and her long hair. Even her fingernails shed light through the room. All golden, except for one tiny spot. It was so small, that he might have missed it completely, except it hovered right by her ear. A single strand, no bigger than a piece of hair, trailed behind her, disappearing after only a few short inches, lost in the dimension surrounding her. Unable to tolerate the visible proof for another second, he murmured the final words, and everything dimmed. “It’s…it’s you,” Jesse said. The force of her walls slamming up knocked the breath out of him. Emma stared at him for long seconds. “What do you mean, it’s me?” “The dimensional scars…they’re somehow…within you.” Jesse looked over to Michelle, hoping she could add something to the discussion. An explanation. Anything. But she didn’t offer him anything. Not even a reassuring look. “But that’s not possible.” Desperation put an edge in Emma’s voice. “I’ve only ever been out of the dimension the two times. And this last time, that was all her. Castelain.” “But that’s not the only time you’ve interacted with the dimensional walls. The two of us…do you remember dreaming about me while you were in Castelain’s dimension?” Her gaze remained disbelieving. “No, I don’t remember much of anything after the attack. I thought I told you that.” 203


“While you were gone, I dreamt about you. Almost every single night. For a long time, I just thought that it was my subconscious trying to work out what was happening, where you were, who took you. I always dreamt about the same place. Some dead world, with a red light. I never saw you here, where you belonged. Only…when I took you from Castelain’s dimension, I began to realize they weren’t just dreams. Somehow, I was visiting you. Or a part of you.” “But if you were coming to me, why aren’t the dimensional scars in you instead? I never went anywhere.” “Because you were the means for me to find and enter the dimension.” He saw her make the connection a moment later, a connection that killed him to have to admit. The link that they’d always had, the same link Gideon had spent the past week helping him to hone and understand, had been the means for Jesse to find her, the means for him to manipulate dimensions in order to reach her in their dreams. He’d used that connection to break down dimensional barriers. Even worse, he’d done this to her. “So…I am hurting you.” Her lips barely moved, as if uttering the words took too much effort. “I’m hurting the entire dimension, probably.” “Calm down,” Michelle said, from her perch on the couch. “I appreciate that you’re actually taking this seriously, since certain people are apparently incapable of that, but this isn’t a dire, unfixable situation. In fact, it’s good for Jesse to practice healing these sorts of wounds, since he’s going to be doing it 204


for a very long time.” Her gaze slid to Michelle. “He can fix this? How?” “Jesse, did you ever bother to explain what it is a Guardian does?” “I didn’t get into specifics, no,” Jesse admitted. “Emma, Guardians exist to watch over the dimension and keep it healthy. We strive to protect the secrets of dimensional magic, but it’s impossible to completely stop all access to that magic. There are books. There are demons who know how to travel between dimensions. Sometimes, they do manage to manipulate and wound the dimension before we can stop them. When that happens, we fix it. That’s our job. So, like I said, calm down.” Jesse thought she had been taking it well, considering her response earlier that day. She hadn’t fled the room, or called for Gideon, or retreated into herself, beyond his reach. She had every right to question the conclusion, especially since he had tried to protect her by never really explaining what it meant for him to be a Guardian. But he held his tongue and let Michelle speak, since this was likely going to be one of the hardest tasks he’d yet to try with his new powers. “Have you ever had to fix a dimension when it was inside a person?” Emma asked Michelle. “No, because an empath with a powerful connection to a Guardian has never been stolen by another Guardian in order to siphon power from somebody who had no business possessing a Guardian’s power,” Michelle said, matter-offactly. “And if we want to get through this peacefully, please 205


try not to mention that fact to Gideon. If we want to get this done, his stubbornness won’t help anything.” “When do you think we can get this done?” Jesse asked. “Do you have the spell memorized?” Michelle asked. “Do I have to?” “Yes.” “No, I don’t.” “Tomorrow at the earliest, then.” “And what about tonight?” This was back to Jesse; he could see the battle warring behind Emma’s eyes. “I’m not a threat to you as long as my walls are up, you said. But I can’t do anything about it when I’m sleeping. Is that going to be a problem, or do I have to sleep in a guest room?” “I said you’re not a threat to me any time,” Jesse reminded her. “Since I only really feel anything when you’re creating a specific connection with me, I don’t think it’ll be a problem while you’re sleeping. Besides, Gideon would never let you sleep out of his sight.” “I’m not sure I’m going to sleep at all.” She took a step toward the door, and then hesitated. “Are we done here?” Jesse sighed at the tone of her words. Clearly, he needed to get the spell memorized before the next day. He had a great memory; maybe he could get it prepared before she went to bed. “Yeah, yeah we are. If I need anything else, I’ll come and find you.” She fled, then, without looking back. Jesse watched her through the open doorway, knowing her destination when she took to the stairs. Her art had always been a comfort for her, 206


but right now, it wasn’t to him. He didn’t want her to hide away, staring at frozen vistas to find distraction. She belonged with him, with both him and Gideon. If anything should ease her distress about what was going on, it should be one of them. “You only mentioned the dimensional tears,” Michelle said, once they were alone. “I thought you were going to say something.” “I figured there was a reason you didn’t.” Jesse lowered himself to the nearest chair with a heavy sigh. “What the hell was that thing?” “I think you know what it was.” “A connection. Somebody is using her as a connection to this dimension. Probably due to the weak spots that are now inside of her.” “Yeah.” “Do you think it’s Castelain?” “There’s no way to know from here, but…no. It was much, much too weak. Of course, it’s only a matter of time before somebody much stronger realizes that there are holes to exploit.” “So we close them.” “You only saw the connection when she transmitted emotions to you.” “Well, yeah. What difference does it make?” “And you were only able to find her while you were dreaming because of her empathic abilities.” Jesse nodded. “Yeah, so…wait. Wait. You’re not saying 207


what I think you’re saying.” “Do you think I’m telling you that all of these problems stem from the fact she’s an empath?” “Yes.” “You’re a smart boy, Jesse. It’s not enough to close the tears. If we want to make sure that nobody can find her and exploit her again, we’ve got to remove her empathic abilities.” “We can’t do that.” “Yes, we can.” “No.” Jesse shook her head. “I’m saying we can’t just make the decision to strip her of her abilities.” “Talk to her about it, if you want. Do whatever you have to do. But this isn’t something we can ignore, Jess.” “I want to follow the strand.” Michelle blinked. “What? Why? If we just destroy the connection, it won’t matter what’s on the other side.” “It does matter. Whatever is on the other end is probably responsible for making Emma sleepwalk, like Emma was responsible for my dreams. If it’s Castelain controlling her, I need to know that. Destroying the connection won’t be enough to stop her.” Michelle’s lips thinned, but she nodded. “This is your show, Jesse. I’ll do what you want to do.” “Why is it my show?” “Because it won’t be long before you won’t have me here to tell you what to do. I’ll help you, but the decisions are yours.” “I need to think about this.” 208


Michelle nodded. “Come and get me when you’re ready.” She said it like he would be able to weigh every pro and con, consider everything side effect, see into the future for every possible consequence, and get back to her before the end of the night. Or maybe she just said it like he had better do all of those things before the end of the night. They had already lost a month. They couldn’t afford to lose any more time. Emma couldn’t afford it. The dimension itself couldn’t afford it.

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CHAPTER 14 Once Jesse made his decision, he realized that was the easy part. And the hard part wouldn’t be traveling to an unknown dimension, potentially to face down Castelain once again. The hard part would be explaining the entire situation to Emma and Gideon, and then informing them of what he planned to do. He didn’t want to see fear in their eyes. He didn’t want Emma to think she was some sort of puppet, or Gideon to be angry because even now, even when they had her home and safe, it still wasn’t over. He waited until he was certain they were both in the bedroom before abandoning the sanctuary of his library to join them. Emma still had a haunted, worried look in her eye, 210


though she tried to disguise it by reading a book. It was almost enough to make him change his mind. But he couldn’t avoid talking to her forever. Maybe she saw something similar in his eyes, because she put down her book and squared her shoulders. “What is it?” she asked. “I need to talk to the two of you about what’s going on.” Gideon didn’t stop from where he had been caressing her leg, though he did prop himself up on his elbow to address Jesse directly. “What’s there to discuss? Emma told me what you found down there. Did you memorize the spell already?” “There’s more to it than that. I saw something else, and I wasn’t sure what it was at first. But…remember when I went to search for Emma in Castelain’s dimension? There was a connection between her and me. A lead that I could follow.” He redirected his attention to her. “It’s how I was able to find you while I was asleep. There’s something like that attached to you right now.” Her eyes widened, though she didn’t do anything as reactionary as run away again. “You mean, the connection between us is still there?” Gideon had gone hard. “No,” he answered before Emma could. “I think Jesse’s saying there’s another connection there. Otherwise, this wouldn’t be that big of a deal.” “Yes, there is. But listen, it’s not a strong one. It’s literally the width of a hair. Whatever is creating the connection either isn’t very strong, or doesn’t want us to notice. Either way, there isn’t any danger right now.” 211


“Which implies there could be.” Emma took a deep breath. “Is it her again?” “I don’t know. The only way to find out is to follow the lead and see where it takes me.” “No.” Abruptly, Gideon sat up and rose from the bed, standing in front of Jesse with his arms folded across his chest. “You have no idea where it’s going to go. What if it takes you back to Castelain? There’s got to be another way to take care of this.” “Yes, technically there is. We strip Emma of all her powers, which will sever the connection, and then mend the dimensional tears.” Any color Emma had regained from the spell in the library fled from her skin. Jesse was almost glad she had her walls up; he didn’t want to be privy to the surprise and shock she was obviously feeling. “I didn’t think that was even possible,” she said faintly. “Michelle seems to think it is. I haven’t asked her for specifics, because I don’t want to take that step yet.” He glanced over to Gideon. “It just seems too extreme without knowing exactly what’s happening.” Gideon’s mouth thinned into an impenetrable line. “It’s more extreme to go following a bread crumb trail and run up against Castelain again, isn’t it? She’s got her power back now. That makes her even more dangerous.” “So what if she is dangerous? She doesn’t have a hurlbat, so she’s not going to kill me, and I’m not going to be looking for a fight. It’s just going to be recon.” 212


“You say that, but you know as well as I do that things don’t work out that way half the time. You have no idea what her intentions are. What if it’s all some kind of lure to pull you into a trap? You’re the only one who gets hurt from these tears, after all.” “If that’s her plan, it’s a pretty shitty one. I couldn’t even tell I was being hurt until after I learned to control the emotions between us. And I’m not being hurt. There’s a bit of pain, but there’s not any damage. On top of that, if she is trying to trap me somehow, she’s not going to give up just because we close this doorway. She’s made it into this dimension before after being banished, she could do it again.” Gideon shook his head. “I think it’s a terrible idea. Michelle’s gone around the bend with this one.” “It wasn’t Michelle’s idea. She thinks we should just cut off the connection right now and end it. It’s my decision.” “Wait a minute.” Gideon stared at him blankly. “You want to go following this connection, just to see where it goes, and Michelle thinks this is a bad idea? Why aren’t you listening to her? She’s actually making sense for a change, and no, I can’t believe I’m saying that, either.” “Because if Castelain is exploiting this weakness now, and we close it, she’ll just find another one. Emma isn’t the only empath in this world. And this isn’t the only weak point. We can’t just pretend that fixing this one issue will be enough.” “It is for me. It keeps you and Emma safe. That’s all that matters.” “It’s not your decision, Gideon. I have to think about the 213


good of the entire dimension. I don’t have a choice on that.” “You do. I thought you were just responsible for this area. Well, Emma’s in this area. You fix her, you fix whatever’s wrong with your territory. If Castelain tries to take advantage of another weak spot, then it’s someone else’s problem, not yours.” “So if Castelain decides she really likes the power boost she stole from John, and she decides to nab another mage to drain, it’s not my problem as long as she’s not kidnapping and destroying somebody in Chicago?” Jesse shook his head. “No, I can’t do that. Emma…you understand, don’t you?” She hadn’t moved from where she sat against the headboard, but in his search for at least a little bit of support, she seemed wan and small. Gideon must have noticed it, too, because when he followed Jesse’s line of sight, he immediately went back to the bed to sit on its edge next to her. “Don’t,” she said, when Gideon tried to touch her. She pulled her knees up and into her body, hugging them with her arms. “Jesse’s right. And you know it. You’re just scared about losing us again.” “Do you blame me?” “I don’t think anybody blames you. But you wouldn’t sit back if it was a stranger. You’d be out there right next to Jesse, making sure Castelain couldn’t hurt someone else.” “I’m not going to let anything happen to Emma,” Jesse said. “You know that I’m not.” “And what about yourself?” When Gideon shot the question over his shoulder, the bleak look in his eyes nearly 214


made Jesse change his mind. “Who’s going to make sure nothing happens to you?” “I am. I’m going to make sure nothing happens to me.” Neither Emma nor Gideon spoke for several seconds. Jesse wasn’t sure what it was going to take to get it through to Gideon that he was a Guardian now, that he didn’t have the same sort of worries that he’d had before, that for all the control he ceded to Gideon in their lives, he did so of his own volition and not out of some necessity. There would be an element of danger involved, yes, but nothing he couldn’t handle. Even Emma recognized that Jesse needed to do this. “It’s not really going to matter what I say, is it?” Gideon waved Jesse off when he opened his mouth to try and explain it one more time. “You do what you have to, Jess. But don’t think for a minute that I feel good about this plan in any way, shape, or form.” “Emma…can you come downstairs with me? I know you’re tired and you just want to go to bed, but I think it’ll be best if we do this now.” Emma nodded and crawled out of bed. Jesse waited a beat, expecting Gideon to follow, but he didn’t move. Jesse understood why Gideon was being stubborn about this, but Gideon needed to get used to the fact that Jesse had new powers, new responsibilities, and new priorities that might not include Gideon’s desires. It wasn’t going to change. This was their new life, whether or not Gideon had fully come to terms with it. “Are you sure it’s not going to be dangerous?” Emma 215


asked as they descended the stairs. “Mostly sure. It’s not going to be as dangerous as Gideon thinks.” “He’s just worried about you. About both of us.” “I know he is. And he’s accustomed to thinking of me as somebody he needs to protect. He knows better, but I guess he can’t get his mind around it.” “It’s sort of a big thing to get your mind around.” “Yeah. You know, when we…when you passed out and he took you upstairs, he locked me in the cage. Which was fine. But it was like he forgot that I could teleport anywhere I wanted. Even though I’ve teleported him several times.” Jesse held the library door open for her, allowing her to slip into the room first. “You can sit down. You don’t have to stand for this whole thing.” Instead of choosing a chair, she lowered herself to the floor, crossing her legs in front of her. Michelle was already waiting. She had agreed to speak the spell that would allow Jesse to see the lead that would take him to the unknown dimension. Gideon’s protests still lingered in the back of his mind, making Jesse alternately annoyed and uncomfortable. A part of him was strongly opposed to open defiance of Gideon. Another part of him was mostly angry that Gideon had put him in such a position—that Gideon had tried to order him away from his responsibility instead of offering to help. “Are you ready?” Michelle asked. Jesse nodded, doing his best to push the unpleasant thoughts out of his mind. He would deal with Gideon when he 216


returned. “It’ll be fine,” Jesse assured Emma once more before Michelle began speaking. Within seconds, Emma was glowing again. “I need you to send me something, sweetheart,” Jesse murmured, watching intently for any sign of the thread. It had been so small, so fine, before, one might be able to argue it didn’t exist at all. But as soon as Emma sent him a soft, sweet wave of love, the glow brightened, and the thin thread returned, now hovering behind her, almost even with her heart. Jesse ignored the flare of pain that accompanied it. The first time Jesse had opened the dimensional walls, he had needed a book that he stole from Michelle. At the time, he thought the words, the spell, was absolutely critical. That it worked like every other spell he had ever used—like nothing more than a mathematical formula. If this, then that. If he said these certain words, in that certain order, then the result would be the same every time. Had to be, because those were the rules governing the universe. But now Jesse understood that he didn’t need to speak at all. He just needed to concentrate. He focused on the thread, watching intently until he could see the energy throbbing through the strand. When he closed his eyes, he still saw the thread. But it was much too weak to follow. Once he left the sound of Michelle’s voice, the thread would fade and get lost in the chaotic swirl of dimensional walls mingling and bleeding into each other. “Emma?” She made a soft sound in response. 217


“Lower your walls completely. Give me everything.” “Jesse…” “Give me everything. Don’t hold anything back from me. And don’t stop.” Jesse tried to brace himself, but it was impossible to fully prepare for the complete onslaught of emotions. It was like the first time he touched her. Everything rolled over him. Her love, her fear, her anxiety. Her confusion. Indefinable doubt. The bad feelings that linger after a disquieting dream. Michelle’s cool detachment. He even felt something slick and blood red that could only mean Gideon was somewhere nearby. That was the last thing he was aware of before the full, unmitigated wave of pain overwhelmed him. Instead of trying to resist that pain, he used it. He used it to guide him forward, through the first dimension, and another, and another. Before long, the pain shifted. It didn’t just belong to him. It didn’t belong to Emma. It was something else. Something raging and frightened. The thread never faded. It didn’t grow smaller or narrow. The further he followed from his own dimension, the larger the strand grew. It turned into something else. It turned into a cry of pain. An endless, echoing scream of torment. When there was nothing left to follow, he opened his eyes. To stare at an all-too familiar face. Castelain looked no different than the last time Jesse had seen her. She was a tiny woman, with a boyish figure. Her spiky pixie did nothing to help that image, though even at that 218


short length, its rich, brick-red shade caught and reflected the dim light within the circular room. She had the complexion of a laborer, ruddy to match her hair, and her gray eyes had a rattlesnake cunning to them. They stood in a windowless room, the floor stone, the walls smooth as glass. There were no furnishings except for a single bed at the center of an inscribed circle, the circumference of which glowed like a thin, bloody trail. A man slept there, magically induced most likely, but it wasn’t the man Jesse would have expected to see. It was Ethan. “This…” Castelain’s tone was as cold as her gaze. “Is not your dimension.” “Yes, well, this isn’t his dimension, either.” She didn’t even look behind her. “And?” “And you can’t keep him. He’s crying out so loudly, we can hear him all the way back home.” “Really?” She cocked her head as if to listen, and then shook it in denial. “I can’t.” “You don’t need to keep him. You got John. Well, you had John, which means that Ethan is useless to you.” Jesse didn’t know if logic would work, but he knew that reducing everything to a physical confrontation would not be helpful. “So give him to me.” “So you can have two empaths? I don’t think so.” “What are you talking about? I won’t have two empaths. I’m not going to keep Ethan chained up in the basement.” “Really? Because he’s absolutely juicy. That Emma 219


worked wonders, but I definitely got the better end of the deal.” Jesse’s pulse jumped, and his fingers curled into fists. He should have brought the hurlbat. He had told Gideon he suspected Castelain was at the other end of the connection, so why the fuck hadn’t he thought to grab the hurlbat? “Not for long. I’m going to take him home.” She snorted in disgust. “You have got to be the greediest Guardian I’ve ever met. If you weren’t always trying to take my things, I’d almost respect you for that.” “First, I’m not trying to take your things. Second, Ethan isn’t a thing for you to torment. He’s a person who has no business being here.” As soon as Jesse finished speaking, he teleported. He didn’t have a lot of time, but he wouldn’t need it. He just needed to grab Ethan and then… As soon as he materialized, a shock of electricity burned his lungs and made his ribs vibrate. He couldn’t even groan in protest as it sent him flying against the far wall. Ethan didn’t twitch or give any sign that he was aware of Jesse’s rescue attempt. “What the fuck…what do you want with him?” Castelain didn’t answer. Another sharp red wave rushed toward him, faster than he could twist out of the way. He tried to teleport, but the dimension remained solid and bright around him, refusing to bend to his will. He slammed into the wall again, this time his head snapping back to crack against the smooth surface. “I can do this all day.” A malicious smile curved her 220


mouth. “John was all that I wanted and more.” Jesse winced. John had brought it on himself. It was worth the trade—Emma’s life had always been worth John’s. That’s what he reminded himself when slivers of guilt worked their way into his chest during long nights. With a deep breath, he forced himself to his feet. “Then what? You’re holding onto Ethan out of spite?” “Are you kidding me? I don’t do anything out of spite. It’s all for a reason.” Her hand coiled into a slow fist at her side. Something like steel bands tightened around Jesse’s chest. “I stayed out of your dimension out of respect for the trade you made. Don’t make me regret that decision.” It hurt, but it wouldn’t kill him. Jesse reminded himself of that fact, even as he grew lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. “Have you ever beaten me? Every time you’ve tried, Castelain, every time you’ve tried, I’ve defeated you. Every single time, I’ve come out ahead. You really want another round?” “You’ve defeated me?” She laughed. Her other wrist flicked, and his feet swept out from under him. “I was humoring you by considering you an equal. But if you’re going to be like this…” The world rushed around him. There was no time to stop it, nothing to grab onto. One moment, he was flat on his back on the stone floor. The next, the carpet crushed beneath him. “Oh…” Jesse tried to breathe, but the most he could do was roll on his side. “I’m going to kill the bitch. Kill her.” Emma crouched next to him, hands everywhere as she 221


searched for injuries. “Are you okay? What happened?” “I’m…fine…” He took a deep breath and his lungs burned like they were full of fiberglass, prompting a harsh coughing fit. “Wait…no, I’m not. It was Ethan. She’s got Ethan.” She still had her walls down. Fear and anxiety swirled into chaos before she managed to suck it back. The hands that smoothed down his back trembled. “Why would she still have him? We can get him away from her, can’t we?” “Yeah, we’ll get him back when I kill her. I don’t know why she still has him.” Jesse tried another deep breath. It still wasn’t pleasant. “I think I might know. She’s using him as a power source, I think.” “What for? She got John back. She should already have all her powers.” “Sure, but it sounds like she wants more.” Jesse finally sat up. “And it feels like she’s got more.” “You saw Ethan?” Michelle asked. “I saw him. The lead took me right to him. He’s…” “In a lot of pain,” Michelle provided. “He is.” “Oh, God.” Emma flopped back onto her heels. “She’s killing him, isn’t she? He’s been calling out to me to help him, and I haven’t heard a thing. God, we have to help him, Jess. Now.” “I’d love to, but even if I had been armed with the hurlbat, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything. She was throwing me around like I was nothing.” 222


“She’s not killing him,” Michelle said. Emma’s head whipped around. “What?” “She’s not killing him. It’s much worse than that. She’s holding him in a sort of limbo. And she’ll keep him there for as long as she’s alive, even if that’s another millennium.” “So how are we going to stop her?” Jesse asked. “Because whatever she’s doing…it’s making her stronger.” “You’re going to have to match her strength.” Emma made the connection before Jesse did. “Yes.” Fresh strength pinked her cheeks, and she scooted closer to him. “We’ll match it. That’ll work.” Jesse shook his head. “No, look, I need to think about this. When my ears aren’t ringing and my chest doesn’t hurt.” She reached out to him, but hesitated before making contact. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I’ll go make you some coffee, and I’ll get Gideon down here to help you upstairs. But Jesse, there’s nothing to think about. We have to help Ethan. No matter what it takes.” “I know.” Jesse smiled reassuringly. “We will. I’m not going to leave him in that place, Emma, I promise you.” It was an easy promise to make, because he did fully intend to destroy Castelain. Regardless of what it took.

223


CHAPTER 15 Dreams plagued Gideon’s sleep. He knew they were meaningless, that it was a waste of energy to let them disrupt his rest, but each time he tumbled into another one, the images of Jesse and Emma getting torn away from him by a woman he’d never met refused to let him go. He couldn’t lose them. He wasn’t sure he’d survive it again. But he didn’t know how to stop Jesse from doing anything foolhardy. At some point in the night, Emma crawled into bed next to him and slept half atop his chest. Gideon pulled her into his arms and slept better those hours she stayed than he had any other. When he stirred at dawn, though, she was already gone—off helping Jesse with whatever he was doing to try 224


and solve this dilemma with her empathic abilities. Gideon rolled over and pulled the blanket over his head. He wasn’t ready to face Jesse in the aftermath of their argument. Another dream. Another lock of his muscles. Frozen. Impotent. Panicked. Something soft whispered across the back of his neck. “Gideon…” Emma’s voice broke through the stasis, and the dream scattered to the far corners of his consciousness. He didn’t open his eyes, but the softness returned. Warm, he realized. Her lips burned away the last remaining vestiges. She didn’t linger on the back of his neck. Her lips moved along his hairline, soft air disturbing the strands, vaguely ticklish. Her fingers traced the ridge of his shoulder, then flowed up and down his arm, each caress unending, unbroken. He knew her walls were up, but it almost felt like she was reading him, sensing every desire, and responding accordingly. If the skin below his ear needed attention, she was there, the tip of her tongue dancing over him. Gideon was almost entirely lost to her soft caresses when a second mouth joined the ministrations. Except, instead of focusing on his throat, Jesse’s lips were on the line of his hip. He moaned. He hadn’t been hard when Emma had first started, but the proximity of Jesse’s mouth to his cock woke him up, prompting him to stretch his arm down and caress the top of Jesse’s head. “What’re you two doing?” he said sleepily. 225


Emma laughed softly against his skin. “Silly vampire.” Teeth nipped at the muscle over his shoulder blade. “If you can’t figure it out, maybe we should stop.” A shiver ran through him at the drag of her tongue. “No, I think I got it.” Jesse slid his mouth down Gideon’s thigh, moving just out of reach of Gideon’s touch. His lips never let Gideon’s body, skimming over the most unexpected places. The dimple on the side of his knee, the scar midway down his thigh, the birthmark on his calf. Jesse already knew all of these spots— knew them as well as he knew his own body—but that didn’t stop him from his exploration. Emma licked the curve of Gideon’s ear, teasing him lightly. He arched his head, encouraging her to continue. Her teeth snagged on the thin skin, sending sparks from his neck to the base of his spine. He couldn’t roll onto his back without forcing Emma to move, but this was blissful torture, trapped between their gentle onslaughts. His eyes flickered shut again, allowing him the darkness to get lost in sensations too careful not to be deliberate, too firm not to be felt. He didn’t know what had prompted this. He didn’t really care. It had been too long since they’d had the luxury—the freedom—to spoil themselves like this. And if it turned out to be some kind of dream, well, it was a hell of a lot better than the nightmares that had plagued him all night. With Jesse beyond his reach, Gideon stretched an arm behind him to touch Emma’s hip. Bare, velvety skin met his 226


fingertips, and the muscles danced beneath it at his caress. Emma gasped when he brushed over her mound. Her leg draped over his, adding more heat, more heavy echoes of her pulse with the contact. Emma slid her foot up and down Gideon’s leg, blocking the path of Jesse’s mouth. The heat of Jesse’s mouth disappeared, and he cracked an eyelid enough to see that every time Jesse stopped kissing him, it was because he was busy kissing Emma. He made it all the way down to Gideon’s toes, before moving back up the bed to lay flush with Gideon’s body, chest pressed against chest, Jesse’s thigh sliding between his. Jesse’s warm breath fanned across Gideon’s face, tickling his lips. That was his only warning before Jesse claimed his mouth with a tender caress. Nothing could stop him from wrapping his arms around Jess and crushing him closer. The force of the embrace didn’t strengthen the kiss. If anything, Jesse’s lips softened and slowed, the tip of his tongue teasing Gideon’s mouth. He tasted of coffee and hazelnut biscotti; Gideon had the fleeting realization one or the both of them had done a run to their favorite café. But now they were here, flooding him with proof of their desire, and he didn’t really care what they had spent their day doing. This was what mattered, after all. Any lingering doubts he’d had about Jesse’s determination fled. Emma rubbed along his back, her nipples hard points where they seared over his skin. She molded her arm over Gideon’s, scratching him lightly, and then along Jesse’s, until 227


Jess moaned into their kisses. Jesse gradually broke away from Gideon’s mouth, pulling away by increments to sample Gideon’s chin and jaw. Emma leaned forward, her silky hair falling in a curtain around them as she sought out Jesse’s lips. They exchanged a thorough kiss, Gideon’s sharp ears catching every whimper of pleasure, every soft moan. Gideon’s cock jerked with each sound, and his mouth watered for another taste. When Jesse finally returned to Gideon’s lips, his mouth carried the faint taste of Emma. He ached now, his cock trapped against his stomach by the firm press of Jesse’s body to his. When he tried to shift the angle of their hips, Emma pushed him gently back, her soft curves refusing him the space to move. “You’re not in any hurry, are you?” she whispered. Gideon tore away from Jesse’s kisses to glance back at her. Her dark eyes glowed with love. The shadows that had been haunting her were gone, or at least, on a temporary hiatus. “Just making sure this isn’t a very good dream.” “Not a dream,” Jesse assured him. “You just looked too good for us to resist. Isn’t that right, Emma?” She answered by rubbing her hand down Gideon’s taut stomach to scratch her fingernails over his shaft. His balls tightened, every muscle clenching from his groin to his throat. “Is this my payback for waking you two up the other night after Sangre?” “Paybacks would mean we were upset about that.” Emma mouthed the top of his spine, tickling along his neck. “This is 228


showing you how much we love you.” Jesse reached between their bodies, his hand closing around Emma’s where it rested against Gideon’s cock. The added pressure made him ache, but the additional warmth spread through him, heating his thighs and his lower stomach. The tip of his cock brushed against Jesse’s thigh, smearing pre-come on his skin. For a few moments, Gideon thought he could stay right where he was, trapped between their heated bodies, without asking for anything more. That thought, however, was quickly banished when Jesse pulled Emma’s palm up Gideon’s shaft to the sensitive skin at his crown. He buried his face in Jesse’s neck, mouthing the salty skin. Jess let his head fall back to give him room, but Gideon immediately cupped the back of his skull and drew him back again. He wanted to be smothered by his lover’s smell, everything else blocked out until all he knew was Jesse and Emma and the rest of the world could go straight to hell. It was all he’d wanted since her return. It finally felt like it might be within his reach. Emma nibbled at the knobs at the top of his spine. Letting Jesse make the rhythm, she stroked Gideon’s cock in long, slow glides, a tempo she mimicked with the path of her lips. Tremors set into his muscles, echoes of their heartbeats manifesting in his own flesh. He smoothed his free hand over Jesse’s hip, then reached behind to do the same with Emma’s. His. Both of them. Whatever problems they might have had because of Emma’s empathic abilities, they would overcome. They’d overcome them—and worse—before. They could do 229


so again. “What do you want?” Jesse’s mouth moved against Gideon’s brow. “Tell me what you’d like…how you want us.” Endless choices whirled through his head. So many possibilities. So many permutations. In the end, though, Gideon wanted exactly what he had now. “Both of you on top.” He licked over Jesse’s pulse point, feeling the throb jump under his tongue. “You ride my cock, Emma rides my mouth. I want to drown in you.” “Greedy,” Jesse murmured, with obvious affection. Despite receiving his answer, neither of them moved. Jesse tilted his head to capture Gideon’s lips again for another long, thorough kiss. Gideon closed his eyes, capturing the scent of Emma’s hair and skin, as well as the sharper smell of Jesse’s sweat, mingling with arousal. He wasn’t going to lose a single detail, because each one chased the bad dreams—every bad dream he had ever experienced—further and further away. Jesse’s body arched back, his long arm reaching for the lubricant they kept near the bed, but his mouth still didn’t leave Gideon’s. Finally, though, he had no choice but to break the kiss. As soon as he did, Emma’s mouth replaced Jesse’s. He rolled onto his back, forcing her to lay across his chest as his fingers caught in her long hair. The sound she made in the back of her throat went straight to his cock, something primal and needy, something that drew a rapid thud of Jesse’s heart as well as a quickening of Gideon’s blood. When she ground her pussy into his thigh, the scent of her juices grew even stronger, coating the skin so her lips slipped along his 230


leg. “I could slick your cock by riding you for a few minutes,” she murmured against his mouth. Gideon shook his head. “Not with as good as you smell.” Cupping her ass, he tugged lightly. “Get up here.” Emma obediently climbed up his body, the sweet smell of her arousal getting stronger as she moved closer to his mouth. Her heat distracted him, but Jesse’s cool touch forced him to pay attention to what he was doing. He pumped Gideon’s length with slick fingers, smearing the lube from the base of his cock to the very tip. He lifted his hips from the bed, pushing himself against Jesse’s palm, seeking more. More contact, more warmth, more of anything. Emma braced herself against the headboard, her knees straddling Gideon’s head, her pussy just tantalizing inches from his mouth. He gripped her hips, pulling her down to lap at the juices clinging to her lips. His fangs threatened to descend. He loved eating her out with them when she was this wet. Blood mingled with her arousal to create the sweetest concoction, each tiny cut adding to a sting that Jesse invariably turned back around on her and drove her even wilder. There wouldn’t be any of that today. Not with her walls up. But Gideon didn’t want to go there yet. He wanted to sample her without the coppery taste of her blood distracting him from its purity. He nibbled at her outer lips without delving deeper. His nose brushed over her swollen clit, and though she tried to grind against him for a harder contact, Gideon held her firmly 231


away. Her muscles relaxed. They both knew he’d get there eventually. For now, he’d satisfy both of them with his slow, sensual appreciation of her folds. Jesse’s weight settled over Gideon’s hips, and he bent forward, just enough to allow Gideon’s cock to nestle between his cheeks. He slid back and forth on Gideon’s length, teasing him with the promise of his hot channel. Jesse’s cock was trapped against his stomach, the length throbbing into Gideon’s flesh with each one of Jesse’s breath. He leaned forward enough to lick Gideon’s chest, and Emma’s soft squeal told him that Jesse’s mouth had found her as well. The heat overwhelmed him. It was what he’d wanted, this sensation of sinking into a scorching oblivion that only Jesse and Emma could provide, but in getting it, he’d forgotten how lost it made him. His head swam. He had to focus on the menial, like his thumbs pulling apart Emma’s lips to expose her glistening opening. But licking away her sweet juices only suffused his flesh even more. Her hand danced over his forehead. Gideon looked up to catch her gaze, the soft smile curving her full mouth as delectable a prize as anything else. His nose nudged against her clit, and she arched back, a small cry escaping her throat. The tip of his cock finally prodded Jesse’s slick hole. Gideon tensed in anticipation for the first moment, that glorious second, when Jesse’s muscles finally closed around his head. He felt Jesse shift, his free hand pressing flat against Gideon’s chest. Emma’s pulse hammered against his lips, marking the seconds that it took Jesse to sink backward onto 232


his cock. He didn’t stop at the first inch—he didn’t stop until every bit of Gideon’s length was buried in his body, and his ass brushed against Gideon’s balls. Gideon’s groan reverberated through Emma’s pussy. Her thighs tightened against his cheeks at his reaction, the slightest of quivers echoing back into his flesh, while her nails scratched against his scalp. He knew what she wanted, how she probably craved to lower her walls and experience what they were both feeling. Hell, Gideon wanted it, too, but until she could transmit without hurting Jesse, it simply wasn’t an option. So he showed her the pleasure he felt instead. He swept up and around her opening, seeking out the most sensitive of spots. His tongue flicked across her clit, but only once, just enough to tease her of what was to come, what she had to anticipate as her desire tightened in her belly. When he felt Jesse start to move, sliding up the length of his cock, he let go of Emma’s hip to reach down and grip Jesse’s instead. Jesse was pliant to his touch, flexible, eager to let Gideon push and pull him. They moved in an easy rhythm, as though Gideon’s desires did nothing but echo Jesse’s own needs. He clenched his muscles each time he rocked back, his ass clamping around Gideon’s cock with enough pressure to make his eyes cross. His pulse was just a little faster than Emma’s, and it throbbed into Gideon’s body. When Emma shuddered above him, Gideon lifted his gaze in time to see her tilt back into Jesse’s touch, his hands cupping her breasts and plucking at her hard nipples. Her hair 233


obscured some of her body from view, but what he could see shone with a fine film of sweat, salt added to the arousal already seeping from her pores. Somehow, Jesse maintained his steady tempo without denying Emma the benefit of his attention, too, and within seconds, she was matching it, riding Gideon’s tongue with the same unabashed lust. Gideon slid his hand from Jesse’s hips to cup his sac. One good squeeze changed Jesse’s small grunts into open-throated moans. He squeezed again, his knuckles barely grazing Jesse’s shaft. It urged Jesse to move faster, breaking his careful rhythm, making each stroke a little erratic. Gideon bent his knees, planting his feet firmly on the mattress, bracing himself. It wouldn’t take much pushing before they both became completely unbridled, putting Gideon’s body at the mercy of their pleasure. Emma ground against his tongue, encouraging him to thrust it deep within her channel. He fucked her at the tempo she set, independent of Jesse’s now, and tried not to focus too much on the fire burning through his veins with every slam of Jesse’s hips against his. He didn’t want to come until they had, but he also didn’t know how long he could last like this, not with Emma writhing against his mouth, not with Jesse clamped around his cock. It would be easy to let go. Too easy. Better to hold back until he was drenched in both of their orgasms, just like he’d wanted from the start. Abandoning Jesse’s sac, he skimmed fingertips up his cock, unerringly finding the dripping head. He held it steady, spreading the pre-come around. When the slit flared, he dug 234


his nail into the soft opening, just enough to make sure Jesse got a good jolt. “God…Gideon…” Gideon closed his hand over Jesse’s shaft and dragged his palm down his length. Jesse responded with a whimper—the audible proof of how close he actually was to coming. Not that Gideon needed proof. He knew Jesse’s physical signs better than he knew his own. The flush of endorphins in his bloodstream, the rush of his heart, the arch of his back, the tightening of his thighs. Emma had her own tells, including moving her hips with enough force to make the bed slap against the wall. Her juices flooded his mouth, her walls twitching, fluttering, foreshadowing the larger muscle spasms. “I can’t…Gideon…” Jesse panted. “I can’t…” Gideon flexed his fingers, giving Jesse the signal, the permission, he was looking for. Hot come spilled over his hand, and he squeezed harder, absorbing the throb of each blast into his palm. Jesse groaned, then groaned again. The constriction around Gideon’s cock grew unbearable, forcing him to fight against the spasming muscle to drive into Jesse’s body one final time. Emma smothered his shout. He gnawed at her clit, grabbing her hip to keep her in place as he shot deep in Jesse’s ass. His come-coated thumb slid along her crack, but he was nowhere near in control enough to do anything but tease her with the promise of what it might have felt like inside her. Next time, he decided. Jesse would feed his cock to Emma while Gideon got to sink into her tight, wet heat. They would 235


spend the rest of the day, the rest of the night, as long as Gideon could get, wrapped up in each other. It was all he ever wanted. Jesse and Emma moved at the same time—he collapsed to the left, while Emma slid down the right side of Gideon’s body. Gideon didn’t want to move at all. It was too nice to be caught between them, with the smell of their sex clinging to every bit of skin. Jesse leaned over to catch Emma’s sleepy smile, then pressed his lips to the corner of Gideon’s mouth. “Hope you don’t mind that we woke you,” Jesse murmured. “Yes, because sex with you two is always such a chore.” Gideon snorted and pulled Emma closer into his side, brushing a kiss across the top of her head. “Just don’t think I’m going to let you out of here any time soon.” “Michelle’s not going to expect us for a couple of hours,” Jesse said with a yawn. Disappointment lanced through him, but Gideon stifled it quickly. “I guess it was wishful thinking hoping you guys had figured out what you needed to already.” “We did figure it out,” Jesse said. “But we can talk about this later.” Though Emma hadn’t lifted her head, Gideon felt the slight stiffening of her muscles. Jesse’s eyes were shut, his arm heavy where it rested across Gideon’s waist. If he’d felt her move, he didn’t let it show. “It’s an easy solution, I hope.” Gideon watched Jesse carefully. “Or at least, not nearly as dire as we thought since 236


Michelle let you get away.” “It’s…it’s not exactly easy, no.” “So what is it?” “We really don’t have to talk about this right now, Gideon.” Jesse lifted his head. “But the idea wasn’t Michelle’s.” He frowned. “Wait. So it’s not easy, but it’s not important enough to tell me about?” Jesse sighed. “It’s important enough to tell you about it. I just didn’t want to tell you yet.” Emma still hadn’t spoken up. For some reason, that bothered Gideon even more. “Why?” “Because you’re not going to like it. It’s probably going to make you angry.” Jesse sat up, resting his back against the headboard. “I’m going to go kill Castelain and rescue Ethan.” Now he knew why Emma had reacted the way she had. Releasing his hold on her, Gideon let her ease away as he rolled onto his side to stare at Jesse. “Are you crazy? She kicked your ass. Just because you’ve got the hurlbat doesn’t mean you’re going to get a chance to actually use it.” “I know. The hurlbat’s not enough. I need to match her strength, and she’s stronger than me because she was using Ethan’s empathic abilities,” Jesse said slowly. “So how—” Except he knew. Just like he understood why Emma couldn’t meet his eyes now. “It’s the only way,” she said softly. “Fuck that!” Gideon leapt from the bed, any sense of peace shattered by the realization of what they had planned. “You 237


are not seriously going to use Emma to go after her, are you? After everything we went through to get her back?” “I’m aware of everything we went through to get her back,” Jesse said tightly. “Since I was there, and I’m the one who brought her home. Ethan deserves the same.” The words blasted ice through Gideon’s veins. He took a step back from the bed, then another, but he wondered why his limbs were bothering to function at all. “Oh, I get it. I don’t get a say in this because I fucked up. Because I failed to protect you and Emma. Because I couldn’t even find you on my own, and hell, I didn’t stand a snowball’s chance of ever finding Emma. That was all you. You, and that goddamn connection you have with her that I don’t, and all those fucking powers that I can’t even touch.” “Gideon, you know that’s not what I meant.” Jesse stood as well, but he didn’t try to close the space between them. “But don’t you act like I’d risk Emma’s safety for fun. Don’t you fucking dare. You ask if I’m seriously going to use Emma like it never fucking occurred to me that it might be dangerous. Well, it occurred to me. It occurred to her, too. It also occurred to me that this would happen as soon as I tried to tell you.” “So you had to soften me up with sex first and hope for the best? Gee, how generous of you.” “God, are you serious? Emma and I went out and discussed the idea, including all the risks and dangers involved. Then we decided it would be best to get some sleep. And we found you here. Though I don’t know why I’m 238


bothering to explain. You’re probably not listening to me anyway.” “I guess that makes two of us then.” Marching over to the dresser, he yanked open a drawer and grabbed a pair of sweats. “Don’t let me keep you from getting your sleep. I’m sure you want to be in peak form when Michelle’s ready for you.” “Where are you going?” He cringed at the anxiety in Emma’s voice. “Out.” “You can storm out as pissed off as you like, but I want to make something clear,” Jesse said, his voice hard. “This is not Michelle’s plan. She’s going to be providing support. So you want to blame somebody, feel free to blame me.” But that was the crux of it. Gideon didn’t blame Jesse. He knew Jesse meant every word of what he’d said. He wouldn’t be glib about Emma’s safety. He loved her too much. But he’d also chosen his other words honestly, whether he wanted Gideon to hear them or not. Jesse had been the one to save Emma. Jesse had been the one to succeed when Gideon had failed. Repeatedly. Of course, he felt entitled to having a greater say in the matter. Gideon didn’t say another word as he pulled a T-shirt on. Anything he said would be wasted anyway. He felt both sets of eyes track him to the door, and though the urge was great, he didn’t slam it shut behind him. But he didn’t look back, either. *

* 239

*


Jesse didn’t look away from the open door, internally wincing from the slam that never came. He could give chase. He could grab the back of Gideon’s neck and force him to listen. Things could escalate into physical violence. But Jesse probably couldn’t hurt Gideon any worse than he already had, and regardless of what he meant, there was no escaping what he had said. “Well…hell.” Emma climbed off the bed and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek to his back. “It’ll be okay. He just needs to cool down a little bit.” “Yeah, maybe. No…probably not. I should have told him we needed his help.” “He didn’t give you a chance.” “I should have opened with that. We should have involved him in the planning.” Jesse rubbed his eyes. “There was nothing I could have said to make him agree to this.” “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have started kissing him. We got all distracted from what we were going to do, and I only made it worse.” “We could just call this whole thing off. We probably should just call this whole plan off.” The heat from her cheek disappeared as she slid around to face him. “What about Ethan? We can’t leave him there.” “Emma, the plan was dangerous, anyway, and it was the safest plan we could think of. Now? I don’t even know how to do this without Gideon.” 240


Her pupils had swallowed the dark irises in the heat of their time with Gideon, but still, they remained large, solemn, haunted by what he had told her. “I can’t say I was thrilled about the idea of being out of commission for this anyway. I know Michelle doesn’t think there’s a way to tap into my empathic abilities without putting me into the same sort of stasis Castelain did for Ethan, but she’s not omnipotent. There’s got to be another way.” “But you being out of commission for this was the best way. It was the best way, Emma. You wouldn’t have remembered anything. You wouldn’t have known if…what if this hurts? What if it causes you pain and you’re awake for the whole thing? What if it causes you pain and I feel it? What if she has her Votaries with her and they make a beeline right for you? God, Emma, I don’t know.” “Do you want to wait until Gideon has cooled off and we ask him again?” “I don’t know. Emma…do you think it would make a difference? Do you think he’d ever be sufficiently cooled down to agree to this? Do you think…Emma…did you hear him?” “I did, but, Jess…” She rested her palm over his chest, the tremble in her fingers as thunderous as his own heartbeat. “He’s in pain. He has been ever since this whole mess started. Not finding out about the stuff in me. I mean us. Going missing last summer. You told me yourself he went a little crazy trying to find you. And it really hasn’t been that long since you’ve been back. Do you think that just goes away? 241


Especially with Gideon.” “He’s not the only one who went through that. He’s not the only one who’s been…damaged. And I know he’s in pain because it’s the same sort of regret and fear I feel every single day. God, Emma… in a way, you were the lucky one. At least you weren’t awake.” Slowly, her hand fell to her side. “We all lost something last summer. And if we don’t stop Castelain and what she’s doing to Ethan, we risk not getting any of it back. But it’s your call, Jesse. I know I can’t do this without you.” Jesse stared at the empty doorway. He could call this all off and make overtures of reconciliation. It would please Gideon. In the short term, there would be peace. But the very next time Jesse had to make a decision Gideon didn’t like, the scab would be ripped off, the wound would be open. And how could there be any reconciliation when Emma would be haunted—endlessly haunted—by the man, the friend, the exlover, who needed her? How could there be any closure when the monster who hurt them the most was allowed a long, powerful, happy existence? “We’ll find a way without him.”

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CHAPTER 16 Gideon’s first instinct was to go out and hunt, but crossing the threshold of the house, abandoning Jesse and Emma behind him in favor of the cold and unknown, proved more difficult than he’d expected. It would vent some of his frustrations to tear someone apart limb by limb, but then what? He’d have to return to the house, to his bed, to Jesse and Emma, and face the fact that not only couldn’t he deal with his own failure, but apparently, he couldn’t even curb his bitter jealousy. The faint noise of the TV drew him to the living room instead, and he stood in the doorway, watching Gene Wilder and Cleavon Little chat on the flickering screen. 243


“Either come in, or shut the door. I hate that fucking hovering.” He couldn’t see anything but the very top of Dominique’s head over the back of the couch, but he did as she said, closing the rest of the house off behind him. “I haven’t seen this movie in years,” he commented as he strode closer. “We don’t own this on DVD, do we?” Dominique didn’t even glance up from where she was slumped. “Nah. I was flicking through and found it. It’s edited to hell, but it’s still better than most of the shit that’s on right now.” She glanced up at him out of the corner of her eye. “You’re still hovering.” Gideon flopped down next to her, stretching out his legs to rest his feet on the coffee table. “How come you’re home?” “Because I live here?” “No, I know that. I just figured you’d be out.” “Same could be said for you.” He held his tongue. She was right, after all. They chuckled at several different jokes before commercials came on and called a halt to it. Gideon halfexpected Dominique to pick up the remote and start channel surfing again, but she sat there quietly, watching the ads for drug companies and weight loss programs dance across the TV. “Jesse send you in here to keep an eye on me?” The question came out of the blue. Like before, she posed it without even looking in his direction. “Why would he do something like that?” 244


“Because he and Emma were all huddled with Michelle, and he thinks I’m too much of a kid to worry about whatever it is that bugs him. I figured he was going up to bed, but if you’re here, then maybe not.” Gideon sighed and folded his arms over his chest. “No, they went to bed.” Now, she looked over. “So why’s your ass down here then?” He shrugged. “Not tired.” When she snorted, he practically heard her eyes roll. “He must’ve told you what was going on.” It was right there, ready to ask how she knew anything was going on, before he caught himself. This was Dominique. Of course, she’d been eavesdropping. “You need to quit spying on him,” he warned. “One of these days, you’re going to hear something you don’t like.” “Please. If you two haven’t already scarred me permanently for life, I’m going to be just fine.” “Michelle might disagree.” “Yeah, well, Michelle’s not going to have much to say about it for much longer, now is she?” Her cutting tone surprised him, though if he thought about it, it probably shouldn’t have. Jesse hadn’t been happy about telling Dominique the truth about what was going to happen to her foster mother once he got all his powers. It would take a while for her to adjust. Hopefully, Emma would be able to help her with that. Then he remembered what had happened upstairs. The 245


threat to Emma. The distraction soured his mood again. “So what’s your problem?” Dominique asked in the next commercial break. Their heart-to-hearts were relegated to five-minute sections, it looked like. “Because you’re being a real downer here, I gotta tell you, Gid.” “So go up to your room.” “I was here first.” “It’s my TV.” She cocked a brow at him. Sometimes, that was worse than the eye-rolling. “How much did you hear?” “Are you asking if I heard the part about Jesse and Emma going after this Ethan dude together? Yeah, I did. Don’t tell me that’s what pissed you off. Because that’s just sad, even for you.” “That’s not it.” Not entirely, anyway. “So what?” How did he explain to a kid about guilt older than her? He didn’t understand it himself. All he knew was everything—all the way back to agreeing to help John fuck around with the dimension—was his fault. That when it was important, he always failed the person who needed him the most. Mary. Jesse. Emma. He hadn’t been able to save any one of them. “It’s dangerous,” he said. “Yeah.” She waited. “So?” “What do you mean, so? Emma’s only been back a month, and they’re putting her in danger again. With the bitch who hurt her in the first place.” 246


“And you and Jess haven’t been pulling your caped crusader crap for years? This job’s not any different than anything else you’ve done.” “It is.” Her mouth thinned. “Oh. Because it’s Emma. So all those times when you probably put yourself on the line and left Jess at home, you don’t think he went a little crazy worrying about you?” “That’s different.” “Right, because you’re the big bad vampire. You don’t need someone watching your back. Well, newsflash, Gid. Jesse’s got the muscle to take care of things himself just fine now.” The movie came back on, and Gideon turned his focus back to the television. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he muttered. Dominique snatched up the remote and turned off the TV. “Fuck, if this is why you’re down here moping instead of upstairs banging the two of them, this is pathetic, even for you. You can’t seriously be jealous of Jesse.” “There’s a lot going on you don’t understand, Dominique.” “And I think there’s a lot going on you don’t want to. Jesse’s just doing the same thing he’s always done. He’s taking care of business. It just so happens, now his business is little bit bigger. That don’t mean you’re not any less important to him.” Gideon scrubbed at his face. He had not come in here to get lectured at by a teenager. “Can we get back to the movie, 247


please?” “Not until you hear me out.” “There’s nothing you can say to make this better.” “I’m not interested in making you feel better. But I’m not sitting here, letting you think you got some kind of monopoly on how you feel.” Her eyes were bright, her nostrils flaring from the vehemence of her protestations. One glance at her, and Gideon realized maybe she did have a right to be angry about his reaction. After all, she’d lost a little bit of Jesse when Gideon had found him again. Jesse had complained more than once about not being able to give to her everything he had before. He hated that he was shortchanging Dominique. And yet, he’d made the time to do anything and everything Gideon had asked of him since they’d returned. Like the week-long punishment when there were other, more pressing matters at hand. Hadn’t he proved himself devoted to Gideon’s leadership then? “Fine. We’re soul sisters. Can we watch the movie now?” With a frustrated growl, Dominique flicked the TV back on and tossed the remote aside. “I have no idea how Jesse puts up with your shit. You must be fucking fantastic in the sack.” “There’s no shit to put up with.” “Uh huh. Except your pouting.” He scowled. “I don’t pout.” “Because you love spending so much time stuck with me? Try it on someone who doesn’t know better.” Harvey Korman’s braying laughter filled the air between them. 248


Dominique watched in stony silence before adding, “Considering you could’ve lost Jess for good, I think you should start remembering how lucky you are and stop making the rest of us miserable by reminding us how hard it was when he was gone. Trust me. We got the picture.” “Dominique—” “Don’t. You don’t like what I got to say, that’s your tough luck.” “You’ve been spending too much time with Michelle. You’re starting to sound just like her.” The gaze she leveled at him was hard and hurt. “I’m taking advantage of what I’ve got for a change, instead of thinking about how I fucked up or what I’m going to lose. But then you wouldn’t know about that, would you?” She turned back to the television, folding her arms over her chest, though it did nothing to make her seem smaller. If anything, she felt even more present than before, and Gideon was left staring at her, wondering where in hell everything had gone wrong. *

*

*

The hurlbat weighed heavily against his palm, but the weight was far from reassuring. It would only take one blow to end Castelain. One well placed, properly executed hit, and Castelain would be destroyed. Of course, that was the easy part. The hard part would be everything that led up to the killing blow, and everything that would happen after. “Are you ready?” Emma asked, lowering to the couch 249


beside him. An entire night of planning and an entire day of preparing, and Jesse only had one answer. “No.” She looped her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. “I think that you are.” “I’m really not.” “Do you want to wait until tomorrow?” “Do you think it’ll make a difference if we do?” “No,” Emma admitted. “I just keep wondering if it’s worth it.” “It is,” she said firmly. “You can’t leave Ethan, Jesse. And Gideon might not admit it, but he doesn’t want to leave Ethan to be tortured, either.” “Ethan doesn’t matter to him. Not like you do. For him, this is a no-brainer.” Jesse ran his thumb over the edge of the hurlbat. “He thinks this should be a no-brainer for me, too.” “Jesse…” “I know.” He looked up, but he could only stand to meet her gaze for a few seconds. “I know we have to bring Ethan home. I know I have to kill Castelain. If only because you and Ethan aren’t the only empaths in existence. She’ll find another one. She will. She took John. She killed your sister. She…” Jesse stood up, breaking away from her. “I know I need to do this.” “But you still don’t want to,” Emma said, rising as well. “I could lose both of you. It almost destroyed me the first time, I don’t think I could do it again.” “You’re not going to lose both of us.” 250


“Emma…don’t. Don’t act like this is okay. The power could echo through the dimensional holes within you, and fry you. Or Castelain could exploit the connection Ethan’s created and…so don’t act like this is okay.” She folded her arms. Her pale face made her eyes darker, but they had a resolute light. Even if Jesse wanted to convince her not to do this, he wouldn’t get anywhere. Her mind was made up, and that was that. “Nothing is going to happen to me.” “You don’t know that.” “I do know that. You would never let anything happen to me. I trust Michelle. I trust you, without exception. Completely. I know that I’m safe.” “I don’t know if I can do this without him.” “Oh, Jesse…” She hugged him from behind, her cheek pressed to his back, her arms around his waist. “He’s not going to stay mad forever.” “I’m not sure if that’s true. After what I said…I didn’t mean it. Not the way he took it. But I still said it and…” A part of Jesse accepted that if he went through with the plan, that would be it. Choosing to go through with the plan instead of trying to fix things with Gideon would probably be a decision that would haunt him for a long time. But Ethan was crying out every single second. Even if Jesse couldn’t hear him, he was still completely aware of Ethan’s pain. Another part of Jesse refused to believe anything could drive a true wedge between them. He was Gideon’s. He belonged with Gideon, belonged to Gideon. That wasn’t going 251


to change, even if they both lived to be ten thousand years old. “Jesse?” Michelle stepped into the library and shut the door behind her. “Are you ready?” “I…almost.” “I have everything prepared in the den.” “Yeah.” Jesse took Emma’s hand, squeezing her fingers gently before stepping away from her embrace. “You’ve got to concentrate, Jess. Or this isn’t going to work.” “I know.” “You’re not concentrating.” “Michelle…I know.” “You haven’t changed your mind, have you?” “No, I haven’t. I’m just trying to get my thoughts together. This hasn’t exactly been an easy decision, or a good night.” Jesse braced himself for one of Michelle’s cutting observations. Instead she offered a soft, sympathetic, “I know. And this isn’t going to be your last hard decision, Jesse. Sometimes…things are quiet. You can just spend all day with your books. Other times…this happens. I know about hard decisions. Taking you from the hospital bed. I know, you probably don’t think it was the right decision, but I could never let you die like that.” “Well, I think it’s the right decision now.” “And sometimes you have to make sacrifices. When you’ve been around as long as I have, you love a lot of people. Sometimes, they let you down. Sometimes, you let them down. Where’s Gideon?” 252


“I don’t really want to talk about it. He doesn’t think this is a good idea. He doesn’t think anything, or anybody, is worth putting Emma at risk. And he…doesn’t really like me too much right now.” It might have been fairer to say that Gideon resented him. Resented the connection he had to Emma, resented the powers that Jesse never asked for, that he would give up in a second without protest if he could. Resented his strength. Did the situation just push the issue to its breaking point? Had they been rushing inevitably to this conclusion since the moment Michelle took him? Jesse wouldn’t have died, but he could have been made new in Gideon’s image. Had that been what the week of punishment had truly been about? Not that he had lost control with Emma, but that he had something Gideon didn’t? The troubling thought pierced him with jagged edges, but Jesse refused to let it linger in his mind. It wasn’t that Jesse believed Gideon wasn’t capable of that sort of cruelty— despite what Michelle thought, he never wore blinders when it came to Gideon—but he believed that Gideon couldn’t be that cruel to him. Of course, that had always been before. Now he had no idea what Gideon thought of him. Or maybe he knew all too well now. “Jesse?” Emma said softly. “What?” “We can wait until the morning if you want.” What would another night mean to Ethan after a month of pain? Castelain was already strong. She wouldn’t be any 253


stronger or weaker in the morning. But would he be any stronger in the morning? Would he have any new ideas? Would the sunshine make this decision easier? “No. We’re not waiting. Nothing is going to be different in the morning.” He took Emma’s shoulders. “Unless you want me to find another solution. Say the word, Emma, and…” “No. I’m ready to do this. We both know it’s the only way.” “I’m sorry, Emma.” “This isn’t your fault,” Michelle said. “No, I think it might be. Michelle, did you prepare something for Ethan? He’s going to need to rest.” “Yes. The room Jonah was using? I changed the sheets and aired it out. Once you return from Castelain’s dimension, I’ll take him upstairs.” “Okay, good. Thanks.” Gideon would not forgive him. Taking Emma into Castelain’s dimension was going too far. He’d have to deal with the fallout of that. He was tired of Castelain taking things from him, harming him, harming the people he loved, trying to destroy him. He missed John. He wished Emma’s sister hadn’t died. He was tired of fighting this enemy. This bitch who tried to take Gideon from him and hadn’t even succeeded when she stole the vampire’s memory. Castelain had known they needed Gideon, and not just for his physical strength. And now she had finally succeeded in separating them. Jesse didn’t know if Michelle understood what that meant, but Emma must have. Gideon had always been what Jesse 254


believed in. The solid force that gave his life meaning. Jesse wished he had said that. He wished he had told Gideon that he couldn’t do any of this on his own because Gideon was the reason he fought. He could have been anything he wanted. He had the grades, he had the brains, and he had the connections to elevate himself to any position he coveted. Instead, he had fled England to find Gideon. Because Gideon had always represented something more. A person needed something to believe in. Some people had religion. Some people had science. Jesse had a vampire who rose above the horror, the evil, and the endless driving hunger, rejected his very nature, to be somebody worthy of a lost love. “Jess?” Michelle asked. Jesse squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He should have said that. And if he had the chance later, he would. But before that, he had to do the one thing that had been his job since he began working with Gideon. He had to save a life. “I’m ready. Just let me do one more thing.” “What?” Michelle asked. “I have to leave Gideon a note.” Jesse reached for the notepad and a pen. “I usually do when I’m going out.” He scrawled the words quickly, unsure if Gideon would even think to look in the library for a note. Or if he would even care. But Jesse didn’t know what would happen or even if he would come back. He couldn’t let the fight be the last thing he ever said to Gideon. Three simple words and his signature. You’re my reason. 255


CHAPTER 17 Jesse didn’t need to follow the lead between Emma and Ethan to find Castelain’s dimension again. He only needed to be shown once, and the location secured itself in his memory. Every reality had its own feeling, the same way Gideon claimed every person had a distinct scent. Jesse closed his eyes and concentrated like JT had shown him—one of his first lessons. It felt like that training session had been years ago, but the time could have been counted in mere weeks. He wished JT was there. He wished Michelle was stronger. There were better ways to do this, and yet, they had no choice but to go forward with their new plan. He felt Michelle, heard her murmuring the final words to 256


an ancient spell. She had not been pleased when Jesse suggested it, but she hadn’t argued either. Her deference in the face of her misgivings unnerved Jesse. He would have been happy to argue with her. He would have been happy to bow to her superior knowledge and accept a different plan, if she could think of a better one. But maybe there wasn’t a better one. Or maybe it didn’t matter, because Jesse needed to learn to solve these problems on his own—even if that included improvising and compromising. Emma held his hand, her palm clammy, her fingers cold. As soon as he opened the dimensions, he would flood power into her, activating the spell that would empower him and protect her. The force of her grip told him she was ready, but he didn’t know if he was. “I found it,” Jesse said under his breath. She pressed closer into his side. They were dressed comfortably, in clothing that would allow both of them to move. But a shiver still undulated through her, palpable through the layers of fabric. Her fingertips toyed with the edge of the tattoo on his forearm, tracing the fine lines of the twin dragons. Under other circumstances, he would take it as an invitation. How many times had they lain together in bed, bodies entwined, and she had done this exact same thing? A soft touch, a lick along the ink, and Jesse would be throbbing, ready to do the same to the lotus blossom in the small of her back. But this was a very different situation. The tattoos had function other than foreplay. The ink etched beneath their skin 257


came from the same source, with the same purpose. It gave the bastardized spell an anchor to hold them together, because they had no way of knowing just how long it would be before Emma’s body and spirit rejected it. The Guardian powers were already distilled between himself and Michelle. As far as anybody knew, nobody had ever attempted to distill it between three people before. “I’m ready whenever you are,” she said, matching his tone. Jesse shifted his focus from the distant dimension to the dimensional tears inside of Emma. He squeezed her fingers, silently asking her to transmit something to him. He didn’t need a flood of emotions—just enough to let him know where the tears were. Because they weren’t just inside of her. They were inside of him, too. Like the entire breadth and scope of that reality existed within his body. Jesse didn’t fully understand it—perhaps he couldn’t until he had gained all of Michelle’s powers—but he accepted it. He separated the pain from the positive feelings she sent him, tracing the source of the throbbing pain—centered right below his solar plexus. Michelle continued droning behind him, and something golden and hot filled his chest. Power. His power. Her power. The power he needed to share with Emma. The tattoos and the dimensional tears were the focal points. The insurance that Emma would not be flooded with power she could not control. He didn’t give her another warning before teleporting her out of their home and through the boundaries of dimensions, the hurlbat clenched in his other hand. This wasn’t the same as 258


opening the dimension and stepping from one space and into the other. Though that would have been far less traumatic for Emma, it also would have dumped them in Chicago—or the equivalent of the other dimension’s Chicago—instead of Castelain’s front door. Jesse didn’t want to risk getting lost. He wanted to go directly to Ethan’s unconscious form. The windowless room was exactly the same. Stone floor, polished walls, the glowing circle inscribed around Ethan’s bed. Emma gave a little cry at the sight of her ex-mentor, and Jesse had to tighten his hold on her to keep her from rushing forward. The circle would prevent her from reaching Ethan, but in all honesty, he had no idea what kind of defensive ward Castelain had put up to deter intruders. He couldn’t lose Emma before they’d even got started. “Is that what I looked like?” she whispered. “No,” Castelain drawled from behind them. “You definitely looked worse.” Jesse reacted without thought, pushing Emma against the wall and positioning his body between her and the other Guardian. He raised the hurlbat, but it was a defensive position. It glinted in the light, reflecting the red glow from Ethan’s protective circle. “You don’t look surprised to see me again,” Jesse said. “Because I’m not. You have this annoying habit of showing up whenever it pleases you. Which is remarkably predictable, so thank you for that.” “Do you want to save us both time and trouble and just let Ethan go now? You’ve been waiting to get your powers back 259


for over a century. You haven’t even had the chance to enjoy them, yet.” “Enjoyment is relative.” Her gaze slid to Emma, eyes narrowing in scrutiny. “I’m curious why you brought your empath if you’re not even going to use her properly. It’s probably wishful thinking to think you’re giving her back.” “I can show you why,” Jesse offered, almost pleasantly, before teleporting behind her. She turned immediately, but not before Jesse had a chance to bring his hurlbat down, letting the razor edge catch her hand. Four fingers hit the floor, cleanly cut. Her scream rent the air. The stones in the wall practically vibrated from it. Blood, hot and vivid, splashed across the polished floor before Castelain tucked the hand against her breast to protect the injured stump. She ignored the scarlet stain to stare him down, words unintelligible falling from her lips. The ground shook. The posts of the bed rattled against the floor in a deadly tattoo. Behind Jesse, the door flew open and a wind sucked its way inside, sweeping him off his feet and dragging him back toward the opening. He clawed against the slick stone floor, trying to find purchase. For a moment, his nails caught on an edge, but the wind was too much. He slammed the hurlbat into the ground, creating a flurry of blue sparks. He mishandled the weapon, allowing an edge to cut into his palm, but that hardly mattered. Shouted words in a language Jesse didn’t even know until that morning reversed the wind, slamming Castelain against the 260


opposite wall and giving him the chance to find his feet. Blood flowed freely from his hand, mingling with Castelain’s on the floor. Without rising, she swept her arm to the side, sparks dancing from her uninjured fingertips. They landed on the wet floor, and the blood glowed, rushing together to form tendrils of red that ran along the cracks. A hum filled the air. It replaced the wind, growing increasingly shrill, and sped the blood along, faster and faster as it coalesced into a delicate, though intricate, pattern. A moment too late, Jesse realized where the web was heading. His frustrated shout did nothing to stop it from encircling Emma’s huddled form at the wall. “One down,” Castelain hissed. Emma shrank back, trying to avoid the encroaching blood, but it reached her shoes and slithered beneath the legs of her jeans. When she attempted to lift her feet, nothing happened. Jesse thought of and dismissed a dozen phrases. Nothing he knew, nothing he had learned that day, would be able to stop the net from closing in around her. Castelain teleported across the room, popping in and out of sight in less time than it took to blink. When she reappeared, she had her hand around Emma’s throat. Emma’s eyes widened, and she struggled fruitlessly. Her legs refused to cooperate, and though she clawed at Castelain’s hand, she didn’t even scratch the skin. From the corner of Jesse’s eye, he noticed Ethan twitching. Just a split second later, pain lanced through Jesse. Castelain yelped, a choked, startled sound, and fell away from Emma. 261


Words tripped over Jesse’s tongue to land on the floor, and the cut off fingers began to grow longer and longer, like fleshy vines, reaching for Castelain’s ankle. The dimensional walls rippled. Jesse blinked against the brilliant light that flooded the room. When the spots stopped dancing, he realized Castelain was gone. Slumped against the wall, Emma clawed at her feet, trying to break whatever stasis the blood webbing had put her in. “What happened? Where did she go?” “I don’t know.” Jesse rushed to her side and broke away parts of the webbing. It snapped off in tiny sections, freeing her an inch at a time. “Are you hurt?” “No, no, I’m fine. I don’t know what you did to get her to let me go like that, but hey, I’m not arguing.” Jesse looked up. “I didn’t do anything. Wait a minute. The connection…” A long, thick strand reached from Emma’s body. “Ethan’s reconnected with you.” She followed his line of sight, but he knew she couldn’t see it, couldn’t see the strong link that joined her with Ethan. “Reconnected? Why would we have been disconnected in the first place?” “Because Michelle severed that connection when she did the spell. We didn’t want anything conflicting with my power, and we didn’t want Castelain to have any sort of connection to you.” “But she’s got it again.” Her gaze jumped around the room as she put together the pieces. “And she was touching me. She probably felt it, like you did.” 262


“Leave it to that schmuck to fuck up his own rescue attempt. I think you should have the hurlbat. She’s going to go right for you again.” Emma shrank away as he held the weapon out. “I don’t even know how to hold it.” “Give me your hand.” Despite her obvious misgivings, she did as he instructed. He took her wrist and turned her palm up, then laid the handle in the middle. He molded his fingers around hers, showing her how to keep a grip on the weapon without cutting her own fingers off on the sharp edge. “Don’t let go of this. If she gets close to you again, just start slicing at her.” “How are you going to kill her, then? This is the only thing that’ll do it.” “If Ethan’s interfering with our power connection, it’s the only thing that’s going to keep you safe. Unless you want to go back right now.” “No. We can’t. We have to—” The door shattered. Splinters of wood flew through the air, and instinctively, Jesse threw himself over Emma, protecting her from the dangerous slivers. He was only there a moment before a powerful hand clamped over his shoulder. It picked him up and tossed him aside like a limp doll. He hit the floor and rolled, his heel catching momentarily on the sticky blood as he faced off with Castelain again. She’d wrapped her injured hand while she’d been gone, but it was a triage job, bulky and ungraceful. A streak of blood 263


smeared across her cheek like war paint, and the sneer on her lips mocked the distance now between him and Emma. “That’s more like it,” she said. “Let your empath have your toy. This makes it a little more fair.” For the moment, his connection to Emma was still strong. He opened himself up, inviting the reflected power into his flesh, and then drawing deeper, exploiting the fresh connection with Ethan. Castelain’s eyes narrowed, and he was sure she felt him siphoning from Ethan, but he didn’t give her a chance to respond. He flung his hand out, and the energy glowed bright and red before the dimension bent out of the way, creating a tunnel that went directly to Castelain’s throat. He sent the energy with a shout, feeling a bitter twist of pleasure as she jolted from the force. He blinked, and she vanished, reappearing closer to Emma. Emma swiped out with the hurlbat, but sliced through empty air as Castelain disappeared yet again. She kept popping in and out, the pattern seemingly random. Never in the same spot twice. Never for more than a split second. Jesse was getting dizzy trying to keep up with where she might land next, fearful it was a ploy to distract him from Emma. The ripple started after her seventh jump. It was small and barely noticeable, but when she appeared for the eighth time near the shattered doorway, Jesse felt it again. A wave of raw power, still slight but growing. On the ninth teleport, it barreled a path through his gut, tearing into his cells with a primal force he now recognized. She was trying to break down the dimensional walls 264


around him. The power it released from fighting back was leeching into his flesh. The dimension didn’t care where it took the energy to heal itself. Every time he teleported, he sacrificed a bit of his own energy in order to heal the fresh scars he left from the move. Instead of sacrificing her own power, she was forcing Jesse to pay for each of her jumps—while staying out of his reach. He moved further from Emma, hoping Castelain would follow him to focus on his power. From the corner of his eye, he saw the blue line brighten. Something shifted inside his chest—slipped from his hold. Ethan was interfering. If he lost the connection, they’d both be vulnerable to Castelain. Focusing on holding on to that distracted him from Castelain, and the blow that connected with the back of his neck almost sent him sprawling. His reaction was pure instinct. It didn’t come from anything Michelle had taught him, or JT had introduced him to, or any of the myriad books he’d read over the years. It came from watching Gideon, from years of admiring the vampire’s grace, evaluating his fights, being ready for his own opening. As he twisted and grabbed her injured hand, Gideon’s voice echoed inside his head. Don’t be afraid of playing dirty. Sometimes, playing dirty is the only way you’ll be the last one standing. Jesse increased the pressure on Castelain’s stump until his own fingers were sore. He ground her knuckles together, crushing the bones, forcing out a fresh scream of agony. He 265


closed his free hand into a fist and slammed it into her face. Her nose flattened beneath the blow, and even though he knew it would heal within minutes, maybe seconds, he still felt deeply satisfied. Satisfied enough to slam his fist into her face a second time, for John, and a third time, on principle. But the fourth time, she caught his fist and threw him backward. He skidded until he nearly collided with Emma. He pulled himself up straight, and tried not to wince. Not from the shove, but from the fact that he was losing the connection with Emma. Castelain was virtually unrecognizable as she swept her focus back in their direction. “You know, that bastard John warned me I hadn’t seen the end of you.” Her words were wet; she spit out a mouthful of blood. “He said you were the worst kind of enemy to have. Honorable and tenacious.” Dragging her bandaged hand over her face, she wiped a swathe clean, though it did little to make her more presentable. “I don’t think theft is very honorable, if you ask me.” “Don’t think of it as theft. Think of it as the victor taking the spoils.” “I just hope it was worth sacrificing her.” The next blast to come from her free hand wasn’t aimed at Jesse. It wasn’t even aimed at Emma. It was aimed at the floor. A wide crack split between the stones, and the force of the impact quaked the entire room. Emma stumbled to her knees, though the webbing that remained at her feet kept her rooted in place. She cried out when the hurlbat sliced into her arm, and the scent of fresh blood permeated the air. 266


Emma released the hurlbat before it could cut her again. Jesse dove for it, his fingers brushing over the edge. The blood on the floor didn’t belong to him, but he couldn’t afford to check her. He couldn’t afford to do anything except get a hold of the hurlbat. Another blast of energy hit the floor, bucking the hurlbat out of his reach. He rolled with the broken ground, snagging the hurlbat just before it toppled to the floor dozens of feet below him. He rolled onto his back and finally saw the wound on Emma’s arm. Blood flowed freely down her elbow. “Don’t worry about me.” Pressing her free hand over the cut, Emma tried to staunch the flow, but it seeped quickly through her fingers. “Please, Jess. Don’t get distracted.” Castelain’s frustrated cry came with the sudden cessation of tremors in the floor. Jess glanced back in time to see Gideon throwing her slim body through the broken doorway. Jesse managed to pull himself to his feet, though his legs were weak and his heart was in his throat. Castelain regained her feet quickly, but Gideon was prepared for her. More than prepared. With blood in her eyes and, no doubt, flowing down her throat, she charged again. Gideon hit her with enough strength to send her crumpling to the ground. “Gideon?” When he glanced back at Jesse, Gideon’s eyes shone. “You didn’t expect me to miss a fight like this, now did you?” Jesse swallowed. “No. I didn’t. Look, she’s still drawing from Ethan, but Ethan’s connection has interfered with me and Emma.” 267


Gideon scowled in Ethan’s direction. “Jesus, he’s even a schmuck when he’s passed out.” “That’s what I said.” Castelain was still motionless on the ground, but Jesse didn’t know if that was genuine, or just the other Guardian regrouping. Either way, he pulled Gideon closer and lowered his voice. “If you keep her off-balanced, I might be able to get an opening with the hurlbat.” A glance at Emma and Gideon’s nostrils flared. “Are you strong enough for that?” “I don’t know. I’ve got to be.” “Can we make the connection stronger?” He fixed on the blood now dripping from Emma’s fingers. “She’s fading.” “I’m fine.” She didn’t sound fine. In fact, her voice was breathy, like she’d just finished a ten-mile run. Now that Jesse was close, he could see that beads of sweat had popped out onto her brow, and her skin had gone ashen. Behind them, Castelain stirred, pulling Gideon away again. His foot connected with her side, but she grabbed it before flying across the room. They were both knocked off-balance, and Gideon landed on his back, his head snapping against broken stone on the floor. Jesse made a move toward him, but Gideon jumped back to his feet, popping back up as though she had never touched him. Jesse couldn’t feel Emma at all anymore. She didn’t need to be there, bleeding all over the floor. He needed Gideon’s help, but he could not leave Emma alone, unaided. Gideon picked up a piece of the floor and brought it down on Castelain’s head, shattering the stone like it was made of 268


glass. She stumbled back, giving Gideon a chance to scramble over to Jesse’s side. “You should take Emma home.” Gideon’s eyes locked with his. “I’m not leaving you alone.” “I can’t protect her. Ethan’s blocking me. We’re both weakened.” “Then I’m taking you, too.” “If I don’t end this, she is going to come after us. It’s like I just threw rocks at a hornets’ nest.” “So we burn it out.” He slid closer to Emma, scooping his arm behind her back to help her sit up again. “What do you need to get this connection going again? Are your walls down, Em?” “Yes, but it’s not doing any good.” “Can we get to Ethan? Can we stop him somehow?” “No.” Gideon’s mouth thinned to a narrow line. His gaze dropped to her bleeding arm, then to the bared tattoo on Jesse’s. “What if you had me in on the connection? Would that help?” Jesse lost a handful of precious seconds, unable to find the answer Gideon needed to hear. It wasn’t that Gideon would be incapable of forming the connection necessary—it was that Jesse had no idea if he could. When Emma lowered her walls, there was nothing to get in between the two of them. Their connection was so powerful because they knew every flicker of doubt, every moment of guilt, every piece of regret, every 269


shadow, every dark thought to go along with the love. Gideon had never done that. “It would. But you need to be a bridge. You can’t block anything…us.” Gideon didn’t hesitate. “If that’s what it takes.” He reached and closed his hand around Jesse’s wrist, his thumb firm over the pulse. Cradling Emma closer into his body, he bent his head and rested his mouth near her ear. “Do your magic, Em.” Her wide eyes drank in Jesse for a moment before her lashes fluttered shut. They rested thick and heavy against her ever-paling cheeks, and her chest rose as she took a deep breath. Jesse’s blood pounded in his ears. Waiting. Watching. Then it came. Oh, God. Jesse tried to shout, but the words caught, and all he could do was gasp for breath. His back went rigid, and he forgot about Castelain. The first time he had ever felt Gideon’s emotions filtered through Emma, it had been shocking and educating and a little addicting. This was unlike that. This was unlike anything he had ever imagined. This was the rawest form of power. It elevated him. He saw the dimensions, and beyond the dimensions. But none of that mattered. Not like Gideon mattered. Gideon had fears and doubts. He had guilt that could have—should have—crippled him. And he had a hunger, a lust, like Jesse had never suspected. His imagination had been too small. He was soaked in blood, mired in a void so dark and deep Jesse couldn’t tell what it hid. But his love was there, 270


too. Jesse’s imagination had been too small. Far too small. And there was strength. He never needed to be told that vampires were strong. Now it flowed through him. It fueled him. His own power flared in response, and he let it flow backward to gain strength before Emma mirrored it back to him. It was the feedback loop, only now it wasn’t a simple loop. Nothing existed, except through Gideon. Emma made a small sound in the back of her throat, but her eyelids remained shut, her body leaning more heavily against Gideon’s. When Gideon lifted his head, the burn in his eyes, gone golden as he’d vamped out from the influx of emotions, did as much to fuel Jesse as the reinforced connection. His grip tightened on Jesse’s wrist. It might have been excruciating under other circumstances. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. The conciliation slamming through the loop nearly knocked Jesse back onto his ass. “All I can say is I’m trying.” “I know.” There wasn’t anything about Gideon he didn’t know. And Emma was a sweet light, bursting through the darkness Gideon guarded so defensively. “I…” Castelain screamed and Ethan jerked violently, his entire body shaking as though she had just plugged him into an electrical socket. She rose slowly, her eyes rolling wildly behind her swelling lids, her bloody mouth pulled back in a snarl. The bandage had unrolled from her hand, and he could see a hint of her stumps, twitching and jerking. “Keep the connection open,” Jesse said, lifting the hurlbat with both hands. “I’ll feel it.” 271


Gideon let him go, but even with the absence of his touch, Jesse felt him. It filled every corner of his head and turned the dimensional walls into allies rather than barriers. Castelain seemed oblivious to any sort of change in him, though he had no idea why. He had never felt so alive before. The connection with Ethan should have warned her at the very least, but she barely glanced in the direction of the bed. Words wet with blood fell from her lips. The power rolled toward her, gathering momentum with each syllable. Jesse had to hide his smile. She thought she was being tricky, except he could see everything she was trying to do. Like never before, the dimension breathed with him, whispering her secrets in his ear the moment before they found light. He easily blocked the first volley of fire with the blade of the hurlbat. It ricocheted off the gleaming silver to bounce harmlessly out of the broken doorway. The second blast was even simpler. Before the third, Castelain teleported to a different corner of the room, a vain attempt to surprise him, but Jesse saw the energy shimmer before she’d vanished. He followed its path to appear behind her, his heel slamming into the small of her back and sending her sprawling. So much of Jesse’s life was dedicated to pleasing Gideon, and he couldn’t pretend that did not extend to fighting. He wanted Gideon to be impressed with him. He always had, and this particular battle was no different. Perhaps it was his need to make up for their first meeting, when Gideon saved his life. Or perhaps it was just because a good fight always turned Gideon on. Either way, Jesse was all too aware that Gideon 272


was watching every second, his gaze locked on the struggle, while the strength he and Emma funneled elevated him beyond Castelain’s abilities. Jesse picked her up by the back of her neck and slammed her against the opposite wall. “Remember when I reminded you that I always defeat you?” She teleported, but he followed her once again, his hand going around her throat as soon as she reappeared. “I think you should have listened.” He slammed her to the ground with enough force to send more cracks splitting through the stone. Gideon would have snapped her neck. It was quick, simple, and effective. If she hadn’t been a Guardian, Jesse would have done the same. But she would eventually heal from such an injury, then come back for revenge. The only way to finish this once and for all was to use the hurlbat. His fingers fisted in her hair and yanked her head up. Across the room, he saw Gideon’s nostrils flare. They flared even more when Jesse drew the blade across Castelain’s throat, slicing through skin, muscle, sinew, severing her windpipe so that she’d never breathe again. She took one gurgled gasp, and her body went limp beneath his. Jesse released his hold on her and dropped the hurlbat, stepping back from the river of blood that flowed from her body. She hadn’t left him a choice, but this was different from killing a demon or staking a vampire. He expected the vague sense of disgust, but he hadn’t counted on the sense of relief. The shared sense of relief binding all of them. Behind him, Ethan moaned. It was a sound of unmitigated pain. The sort of 273


pain that could cry out across infinite dimensions until it found an ally. Jesse’s sense of relief only increased. “Do we need to do anything else to get him out of here?” Gideon asked. “I don’t think so.” Jesse approached the circle cautiously, hoping the protection spell had died with Castelain. Ethan’s eyes were still closed, but his lids were fluttering. Jesse didn’t want him to wake up in a strange dimension, in a room full of blood. Nothing repelled him as he reached out to touch Ethan’s arm. He bent and lifted the thin man easily from the bed that had become his prison. He nodded at Gideon. “Do you want to carry him or the hurlbat?” Gideon grimaced. “Oh, sure, you get the kill and I get the choice between the schmuck or the blade. Remind me next time to show up a little earlier so I get more of a say in the matter.” Scooping Emma up into his arms, he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket as he crossed the room to the hurlbat. Carefully, he picked it up, being sure to keep it from touching either him or Emma. “We need to get home now. I don’t like the way Emma’s heartbeat sounds.” The connection was still open between them, and Jesse didn’t want to lose it. It gave him the power necessary to find his dimension—glowing like a bright beacon in the darkness—and teleport the four of them home. He only paused for a few seconds. Just long enough to take one final look at Castelain. Her followers would be devastated by the loss, of 274


course. How many Votaries did she have spread across the dimensions? How many worlds had she visited, interfered with, stolen power from? How many people had suffered at her hand, unaware that it was a Guardian and not a vengeful demon taking out its wrath on them? The questions followed him as he teleported everybody home. Everything blurred for a moment, and when his vision cleared, Michelle was there. Waiting to take Ethan from Jesse’s arms. “It’s done?” she asked. “It is.”

275


CHAPTER 18 If there was one thing Emma was tired of, it was the hovering. Sure, the first day or two after killing Castelain had been worrisome. The cut from the hurlbat refused to heal, even with the help of Jesse’s cream. She couldn’t stay awake, too weakened from both what had happened and the blood loss. She had vague recollections of Jesse spooning behind her, holding her close against his chest, and the low murmur of voices in the background. Michelle was there, and Dominique. Even Ethan had come in to see her, but she didn’t think he’d done anything more than stand there and watch her sleep. But she was stronger now. It had been almost a week since they’d rescued Ethan, a week since Castelain’s death. She’d 276


been strong enough to endure Jesse’s spells as he fixed the dimensional tears inside her, and she’d even managed to spend a few hours helping Dominique with her homework. In spite of that, Gideon and Jesse were always there. They watched her without fail, checking her arm, asking her how she felt. She had thought in the beginning that it was because she might still be sleepwalking, but when she’d asked them about it, Gideon had smiled while Jesse explained she hadn’t done it at all since Ethan woke up. Which meant they were just worrying about her in general. She loved them for it, but she would be much happier when something came along to distract them from her. She sat in her art room, a sketch pad on her lap, when a knock came at the door. Her call to enter brought Ethan into the doorway, a wan smile on his handsome face. “Hey,” she said, more than a little surprised. “What’s up?” “Jesse told me that he needs to talk to the two of us. I said I’d come and get you.” He stepped into the room, but didn’t shut the door behind him. “How are you feeling?” She scooted over on the couch, making room for him to sit if he wanted. Though they hadn’t really spoken since that awful period when they’d broken up, she found she wanted to do so now. They had been friends before they had ever started dating, and hurting him had been one of the hardest things she had ever done in her life. She needed to believe that he was going to be okay, because it felt like she was the one responsible for all the bad things that had happened to him since. 277


“I’m good. What about you? I’ve been worried.” “Tired. Disoriented. Jesse says it’s going to be a little while before I start to feel normal again. I’m just happy I can’t really remember anything.” “Yeah, I was glad about that, too.” She flushed when she realized what that sounded like. “I mean, that I couldn’t remember anything.” “Gideon also helpfully informed me I can go home soon. I’m going to pretend that he sounded so excited because he was happy for me.” Emma smiled. “Well, if he’s not, I am. I’m just sorry we couldn’t get you out of there sooner.” “I’m just happy you didn’t leave me there.” He flashed a wry smile. “I don’t suppose you’d let me take you away from all this?” Rising to her feet, she crossed to him slowly, ready for any sign of discomfort. When none came, she slid her arms around his waist in a gentle hug. “I think I’ve had my fill of traveling for a while,” she tried to joke. “But if there was anyone I’d consider leaving with, it would be you, Ethan.” “I suppose that’s something. You know, I’ve often thought about striking up our friendship again. I can honestly say that this was never part of the plan.” He returned the gentle hug, releasing her before things got awkward. “Come on, we better get downstairs before your vampire comes looking for us.” Though he meant it in jest, part of Emma warmed at the way he referred to Gideon as hers. It wasn’t entirely accurate, of course, since she belonged to Jesse, too, as well as Gideon, 278


but she didn’t bother correcting him. Jesse wasn’t in his library like she expected. Instead, Ethan led her to the kitchen, where Gideon was pouring fresh cups of coffee all around. “Uh oh,” she said. “This is starting to look like I’m in trouble with Mom and Dad.” “As long as Gideon is Mom,” Jesse said, bringing the mug up to his mouth. “Right, because you don’t spend—” Gideon stopped when he caught Ethan’s eye. Wordlessly, he passed over their drinks and then leaned against the counter. “What’s this about?” Emma asked, taking the seat opposite Jesse at the table. “Keeping you and Ethan safe,” Jesse answered. “Making sure nothing like this ever happens again. But…before I say anything else, I just want to make it clear that this is your decision. I won’t make it for you.” “Okay, now you’re making me nervous.” “You don’t need to be nervous. Well, not too nervous.” Jesse took a deep breath. “I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that, as empaths, you’re very valuable to just about anybody who is interested in various magics.” “Yeah. So? Most people don’t even know there’s anything different about us.” “It’s not that difficult to find out.” Jesse took another sip from his coffee before adding softly, “And I know there’s something different about you.” She glanced over at Gideon, but he was completely 279


unreadable. She’d kept her walls up ever since getting strong enough to be awake for more than an hour at a time, but she suspected that even if she lowered them now, she wouldn’t know what was going through his head. “What does this have to do with anything?” Ethan complained. “You said we didn’t have to worry about that psycho coming after us again.” “That particular psycho? No, you don’t have to worry about her. Even Guardians can’t heal from being decapitated. But you’d always be tremendously useful to me, to any other Guardians who might be aware of you now, and I don’t think that’s fair to either of you.” “I still don’t see what’s wrong,” Emma said. “You know I’d help you, no matter what.” “But that’s exactly my point. I don’t want you to be in that situation. I don’t want to be in a place where I have to put you in danger because I need your help. I don’t want you to be in a position where somebody could use you to get to me.” Gideon set down his cup. “You’re not a weapon to be used, Emma. We would rather not have to make that choice again, because we know you’d help. We know you’d risk your life for us. That’s enough. It’s more than enough.” “You deserve better than that.” Jesse looked over to Ethan. “You both do.” “So we deserve it. So what?” Ethan shrugged. “It’s not like we can stop being empaths. It’s who we are.” “True. We can’t make you stop being empaths, but we can do something to insure against anybody, including me, using 280


you as weapons. Essentially, we make your walls permanent.” Emma froze. “You mean…never feel anything from anyone ever again?” Jesse inclined his head. “Yes.” “But…” Her voice faded. She wasn’t sure what to say. Never know the pure sensation of Jesse’s love? Never experience the depths of Gideon’s desire? There would be no reassurances that he was happy, no warm embraces when he wasn’t even in the room. Was that a world she wanted? “How dangerous is it?” Ethan asked. “How dangerous is what? Making your walls permanent? It’s not dangerous. Michelle never offered it to either of you as an option because she never thought it was her business. She probably would have if you had asked.” “Then I’m in.” Ethan’s declaration made Emma stare at him in surprise, but his gaze was fixed on Jesse. “If I never have to deal with any of this magic crap again, it’ll be too soon.” “We can do it tonight.” Jesse shifted his attention back to Emma. “Like I said, this is up to you. If you decide not to do it, I’ll never bring it up again.” Emma understood completely why Ethan was so swift to agree. He’d grown up with proof of what his abilities could evolve into, with a grandmother who had eventually exiled herself in order to find some peace of mind. He had been instrumental in teaching her how to block people out, and she was grateful for every single trick he had taught her. But as far as she knew, he had never had a connection like the one she 281


shared with Jesse. He had never experienced anything as profound as the full brunt of Gideon’s bared emotions. He had less to leave behind by making this choice. “I don’t know,” she finally said. “I need to think about it.” “That’s fine. We don’t have a deadline on this or anything. And, Ethan, we don’t have to do this tonight, either. If you want to sleep on it, it’s no problem.” “No, I don’t need more time.” “I’ll go talk to Michelle, then. We can also talk about making the arrangements to send you home. I’m sure you’re ready to sleep in your own bed again.” Ethan nodded. Emptying his cup, he stood and took it over to the sink. “It’s probably time for me to figure out what I’m going to say to my family about being gone for so long. I’m not sure they’re going to buy the whole, ‘I was being held hostage by a dimension-hopping psycho because she wanted to use me as a battery’ story.” “Derek’s already started filling in the lines to connect your disappearance with Emma’s,” Gideon said. “If you wait a day or two, you’ll have all the proof you need.” “Thanks.” He couldn’t quite meet either Jesse or Gideon’s eyes as he retreated for the door. “If we’re done here, I’m just going to take a nap. I’m a little tired.” “We’ll let you know when dinner’s done,” Jesse offered, before Ethan fled the room. He stood and walked around the end of the table to kiss the top of Emma’s head. “I’ll be in the den with Michelle, if you need me.” She caught his hand before he could walk away. For the 282


first time since coming home again, she lowered her walls to let him feel her love and gratitude. “I know it was tough to offer,” she said softly. “Thank you for giving that to Ethan.” “Yeah, it was tough. That’s why I knew it was the right thing to do. But at least Ethan has a real shot at putting this behind him now.” She wanted to ask him what he wanted her to do, but even if he hadn’t prefaced their discussion with the refusal to make the decision for her, she knew he’d never say. This was her choice to make, as difficult as it was. Jesse knew that. And she loved him even more because of it. *

*

*

Jesse hated suggesting that they block Emma from him, from everybody, permanently. He hated the thought of not feeling her pleasure. He hated the thought of being unaware of her pain. He didn’t want to lose the silent connection that would always bind them, regardless of time or distance. A part of him hoped that Emma would shut him down completely at the first hint of the suggestion and refuse to discuss it further. At least then he could claim that he did his best, and not have to deal with the results. He was happy Ethan had agreed to it, though. He didn’t like the man, but Jesse desperately wanted him to have a normal life. It was the only way Jesse could think of to relieve the very real guilt that Ethan inspired, and even that probably wouldn’t be enough. If he could give Ethan everything he needed to have a normal life, including a fortune, a beautiful 283


house, and a lovely wife, he would. But at least this was a start. “Emma hasn’t decided yet, but Ethan wants to have a block on his abilities.” Michelle was sitting in her favorite spot in the den, the knitting needles between her fingers. She didn’t look up when he entered the room. “Don’t talk. I’m counting.” Jesse obediently sat at the other end of the couch, waiting for Michelle to set the knitting aside. The needles began clicking together, and her furrowed brow and the frown she wore told Jesse to just be patient. Several moments later, the frown turned into a smile and she pulled the needles free of the yarn with a triumphant, “There!” “What?” “It’s done.” “What is it?” Michelle shot him a withering look. “A blanket.” “Oh, right. Of course. It’s a beautiful blanket.” “It’s for Dominique. I wanted to get it finished tonight.” “Why?” “Because it would have been rude to leave her an unfinished blanket.” Jesse straightened. “What are you talking about?” “It’s time, Jess.” “It’s not.” “Yes. It is.” “I haven’t performed the final task.” Michelle smiled at him. A smile of surpassing beauty and 284


patience. The sort of smile that warmed her eyes. It made Jesse want to cry. “You have. You identified that Castelain would remain a problem, and decided to do what you had to do to prevent her from hurting anybody else. You risked your relationship with Gideon, instead of bowing to his wishes. You risked Emma’s safety, even though it would have been easier to stay home. You saved an innocent man because you knew it was the right thing to do. What else could I possibly test?” “Why did you let Gideon come to the dimension?” Jesse asked. “Weren’t you scared that he would fuck everything up?” “No. I asked myself what you would do. I told you, I was following your lead. I knew you’d want Gideon, and so I sent him to you.” “Michelle…I think…I think you shouldn’t do this.” She set aside the now-finished blanket and slid across the couch, erasing the inches between them. “I think I should. Are you scared?” Jesse almost denied it, but just because Michelle couldn’t read his emotions didn’t mean she couldn’t read his face. “Yes. You trained for years before you became a full Guardian. JT trained for most of his life. I haven’t had that chance. I don’t know what I’m doing. And then there’s Dominique…what do I know about raising her? Nothing.” Michelle snorted. “What do I know about raising her? Let’s face it, Jesse, I don’t exactly have a great track record when it comes to that girl. Whisking her away to London for 285


months, losing track of her completely, locking her in her room…” She shook her head. “I don’t even like kids. Dominique is like an alien to me.” “She still loves you.” “She loves you, too. And Emma. And she doesn’t hate Gideon. Between the three of you, there’s going to be at least one responsible adult in her life.” Michelle cupped the side of his face with a maternal tenderness. “Jesse, listen to me. You don’t need to be afraid.” “I can’t do this alone.” “But you’re not alone. Nobody else has what you have, Jesse. Nobody else ever has. Gideon and Emma will always be at your side.” “Not Emma.” “She’s had more Guardian power funneled through her than is healthy. She’s not immortal like Gideon, or invulnerable like you, but she’s not going anywhere for a long, long time.” Jesse’s eyes widened. “Like John?” “Yes. Like that. Now, listen to me. You’re a good man. I chose you because you’re always going to know the right thing to do.” “I don’t think that’s true. I’ve had…God, there’s been so many moments when I felt like this power was corrupting me.” “But you didn’t let it. Jesse…you’ve got to trust yourself. Like Emma trusts you. Like Gideon trusts you. You’re going to be fine. I promise you.” 286


Jesse didn’t feel fine. He felt like he was losing one of the best friends he had ever had. “What…what’s going to happen?” “I was thinking about that. I’m going to take Dominique out for a nice dinner. When I get back, I’ll help you with the spell on Ethan, and then I’ll transfer the last of my powers to you. Tomorrow morning, you’ll wake up feeling stronger than you ever had before, and I…” “You won’t wake up at all,” Jesse said softly. “I always wanted to go in my sleep.” “Are you really ready for this?” “I’ve been ready for this since the moment I met you and knew that you were the one. I’m tired, Jess. Trust me, after a couple thousand years, you’ll probably be tired, too.” She dropped her hands to her lap. “Do you forgive me?” “Yes. I wish…I wish we had all made different decisions. And I know that things aren’t going to be easy. It might be…it might be a long time before I feel entirely comfortable in my own skin. But that’s okay. I have Gideon, I have Emma, and Dominique hasn’t given up on me. I think things will be okay.” “I think things will be okay, too. I’m going to go tell Dominique to get dressed.” “Okay.” She squeezed his hand one more time before pushing herself to her feet. “I hope she likes her blanket.” “I’m sure she will,” Jesse said. Michelle smiled, gathered up the blanket in question, and 287


shuffled out of the room. Jesse knew he should return to the kitchen, but he didn’t feel like he had the heart, or the energy, to even stand. He knew Michelle was right. It would be difficult without Michelle, but not impossible. And one day, maybe a day far into the future, he would be able to think about her without feeling a twinge of sadness. “Hey.” Gideon’s soft voice from the doorway surprised him, but he didn’t quite have the wherewithal to turn around and look at him. “Emma wants to order calzones for dinner. That okay with you?” “Yeah, that’s great. I don’t think I’ll have much of an appetite tonight, anyway.” Gideon came around the end of the couch to sit on the edge of the coffee table directly in front of Jesse. “She’ll make her decision eventually. Don’t worry about it until she does.” “It’s not that. I’m glad she’s thinking about it and taking this seriously. It’s Michelle.” He sighed. “This was all her idea in the first place. What the hell is her problem now?” “She doesn’t have a problem. She decided that killing Castelain was the best final test I could ever have. She’s transferring the last of her powers tonight.” “Oh. Jess…I’m sorry.” “I’m taking this harder than she is. She’s going to take Dominique out for dinner and, I don’t know, explain everything or say goodbye or something.” “Well, Michelle’s been ready for this day a lot longer than you have. I can’t say I’m surprised. We knew it was going to 288


come.” “I thought I could convince her to wait.” Jesse reached for Gideon’s hand, feeling better as soon as the strong fingers curled around his. “But she just reassured me that I could handle everything. I don’t know.” “I do.” Gideon moved to sit beside him, pulling Jesse against him as they leaned back into the couch. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this twice in the same century, but Michelle’s right. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You always have been.” Jesse closed his eyes and inhaled, lost in the familiar scent. “Maybe so, but if I am strong, it’s because of you.” “Right, because I was the one who was willing to put everything on the line for the common good.” His broad hand smoothed up and down Jesse’s spine. “Michelle chose you for a reason. And she chose you in spite of me. We’re good together, don’t get me wrong, but you do as much for me as you might think I do for you.” “I don’t think I’ve thanked you enough. For coming for us. For opening up that connection. I think we balance each other. I put everything on the line for the common good, you put everything on the line for us.” “What else could I do? The alternative wasn’t even an option.” “I wish I could say that I was one-hundred-percent sure of that. But then, I wasn’t exactly surprised, either.” Jesse turned his face into Gideon’s chest, wishing that the pesky shirt wasn’t in his way. “You know, with Michelle gone, we’re 289


going to be completely in charge of Dominique.” Gideon’s hand never stopped moving. “Eh, that’s not so bad.” “Really?” “It’s not like she gets all that in the way now. And she graduates in a couple years anyway, so I’ll be perfectly within my rights to kick her out then and call it responsible parenting.” “Oh, God, I don’t even want to think about what’s going to happen when she graduates. She might try to go to some college in New York or something, and then I’ll have to lock her up. Or worse, she might decide not to go to college at all.” Jesse lifted his head. “So does this mean I can talk you into going to the concert with us?” “Emma’s going, right?” “Yes, she is.” “You can count me in if you promise to sneak off and let me fuck you against a speaker, then.” Jesse’s cock twitched. “Absolutely. I’ll even promise to teleport us out of jail after we get arrested for indecent exposure.” “Who’s getting arrested for indecent exposure?” Emma appeared at the end of the couch, and immediately pouted. “You said you were coming to ask him about dinner, not cop a feel.” “It’s not my fault,” Gideon said. “Jesse made me.” “Right. Because you know how easy it is to make Gideon do something he doesn’t want to do.” 290


Jesse held out his hand in a silent invitation. Emma studied him for a moment with a resolute lift of her brow, but caved like he knew she would, and took his offered hand. He immediately pulled her onto the couch, trapping himself between their bodies. “Can we stay here for a minute?” Jesse asked. “I don’t feel very hungry.” Gideon bent and nuzzled Jesse’s neck. “I do.” “No eating unless we all eat,” Emma said. “Hey, if you want to go to town on Jesse, I don’t think he’s going to stop you.” “One track minds. Both of you.” “Does it count as one track if I’m thinking of both of you going to town on me?” Jesse asked, tilting his head back to encourage Gideon’s nuzzling. “I think that really should count as two tracks.” “It’s the same track.” But her voice was light, lighter than it had been since before her disappearance, and her hand tickled along his waist as she pressed closer to him. His earlier sadness did not fade. He would miss Michelle every single day for a long time. And Dominique would need him—she’d probably feel vulnerable and even abandoned. He had to make sure to do everything he could to help her feel safe. To help her feel secure. But with Gideon holding him, and Emma wrapped around him, he didn’t feel the same sort of fear. The echoes of Gideon’s love and power still reverberated through him, and he would never forget the way his body thrummed when nothing stood between them. 291


Jesse knew they would fight again, but there would never be enough anger to overwhelm Jesse’s faith, Emma’s true, unwavering patience, or Gideon’s love. He wasn’t alone. He’d never be alone. “One good thing came from this,” Jesse said. “What?” Emma asked. “All of that power going in and out of you? It made you stronger.” “How much stronger?” “We can probably start planning for your century birthday now.” Emma lifted her head. “Really?” “Really. And I plan on taking advantage of every extra moment.” “We all will,” Gideon promised. “We all will,” Jesse echoed, pulling Emma back into his embrace. “Every day.”

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JAMIE CRAIG

Jamie Craig is the collaborative efforts of Pepper Espinoza and Vivien Dean. Both successful authors on their own, they began working together in early 2006. Pepper lives with her husband and cats in Utah, where she attends graduate school, and Vivien resides in northern California with her husband and two children. *

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Don’t miss A Little Bit Bewitched, by Jamie Craig, available at AmberHeat.com!

It’s nearly love at first sight for Professor Daniel Meyers when he meets his associate’s American assistant, Lucy Hensen. Not only does she enchant him, but he soon learns that when it comes to Lucy, enchanting is not merely hyperbole. A very powerful witch, she’s more than just Charles Cowling’s assistant. She’s his initiate in his coven…and his lover. If that wasn’t complicated enough for Daniel, he also finds himself fantasizing about Charles—and Charles’ mouth—at the strangest times.

When Lucy and Charles invite Daniel to a coven meeting, his curiosity compels him to attend. There, he discovers his own latent magical abilities, yet he also wants more from Lucy and Charles than a night of magic. In fact, he’s more than a little bit bewitched by both of them…

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The Price of His Redemption

The Meritorious price of our Redemption

His Last Chance at Redemption

His Last Chance at Redemption

The Redemption of Althalus

The Redemption of Micah

The Reality of Redemption

The Price of Politics

Price of the Phoenix

The Price of Paradise

The Price of Submission

The Price of Freedom

The Price of Paradise

The Price of Terror

The Price of Passion

The Price of Temptation

The Price of Falling

The Price of Indiscretion

The Price of Pleasure

The Price of Candy

The Price of Passion

The Price of Power

The Price of Salt

The Price of Glory

The Price of Fame

The Price of Pleasure

The Price of Freedom

The Price of Passion

The Price of Deception

The Price of Power

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