The Laughable Stories

Xu3ac'0 Semitic

c:eit

an& Q:ran0lation Seriee. IDoL

U

A

THE

LAUGHABLE STORIES COLLECTED BY

MAR GREGORY JOHN BAR-HEBR^US MAPHRIAN OF THE EAST FROM

A.D, 1264

TO 1286

THE SYRIAC TEXT EDITED WITH AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION BY E.

WALLIS BUDGE, Litt. D. (CANTAB). F.S.A. KEEPER OF THE EGYPTIAN AND ASSYRIAN ANTIQUITIES IN THE BRITISH MUSEUM

A.

London

LUZAC AND

Co.

1897 [All Rights Reserved]

Contents.

Page

VII

Preface

XIII

Introduction

Prologue by Bar- Hebraeus

3

List of Chapters

5

Sayings of the Greek Philosophers

7

Sayings of the Persian Sages

18

Sayings of the Indian Sages

28

Sayings of the Hebrew Sages

31

Sayings of the Christian Recluses

38

Sayings of the

Muhammadan Kings

56

and learned men

66

Stories of teachers

Sayings of the Arab Ascetics

70

Sayings of Physicians

80

Stories of the speech of irrational beasts

90

Stories of those

whose dreams have come true

and

Stories of wealthy

liberal

95

men

105

Stories of Misers

Stories of

iii

men who

Stories of actors

followed despised handicrafts

and comedians

Stories of clowns

and simpletons

Stories of lunatics

Stories of thieves

and demoniacs

and robbers

44C.I22

'

122

129 140

156 165

Stories of wonderful events

Physiognomical characteristics described

-y^^l

Apologue by Bar-Hebraeus

1

Miscellaneous moral exhortations

187

Bar-Hebraeus on the death of John Bar-Ma''Dani

193

Index Syriac^text

1^^

170

86

199-204 i

- 1

66

preface*

The present work contains the complete Syriac text hundred and twenty-seven

of the seven

Stories

"

"

— which were collected by John Abu'l-Faraj,

more commonly known

as

Gregory Bar-Hebrgeus, the

head of the Jacobite Church, or Maphrian from

Laughabh)

A.D.

1264

lo 1286.

of the East,

Sixty-eight of these stories

have been published before, eight by AdJer, Bernstein

and

others,

and sixty by Morales

now appear

;

but the remainder

in print for the first time.

The

text is

edited from two MSS., one of which (India Office M8.

No.

was written

9)

modern copy far as

ales

in

in the year 1712,

my own

and the other

(a

and

so

possession) in 1893,

can be judged from the extracts given by Mor-

from the Vatican MS. No. CLXXIII, the greater

part of which was written about the year 1333,

have the text

much

as

it

after the compiler's death.

made

tolerably

Hebraeus

is

literal,

we

existed about fifty years

The

translation has been

but the language of

Bar-

so concise that I have been obliged to give

paraphrases rather than translations of certain of his stories

and pithy sayings.

No

attempt has been

to trace the source of all the stories

made

and sayings, for

M.

PREFACE.

VIII

and counterparts of the greater number of them may be met with in the literature of most of the ancient civilized countries. As was to be expected parallels

in a

work devoted

follies,

and vices

to a delineation of the virtues,

man, by means

of

dotes and narratives, a

number

and

of proverbs, anec-

of stories occur

which

would have been omitted by an occidental compiler. These have, however, been relegated to the respectable obscurity of the Latin tongue by my friend Mr. J. B. Hodge, M.A., of the Department of Printed Books, thus the integrity of the work has British Museum been maintained in its printed fonii, and it is hoped ;

that the general reader will find nothing to offend his taste.

A peculiar

interest attaches itself to the

Laughable Stories piler's

old

age.

mindedness

"

for

And

was the child

it

it

says

much

''

Book

of the

of

com-

for the broad-

and venerable Bar-Hebrseus that, while his mind was closely occupied with history and philosophy and with the writing of works on grammar and other diflScult subjects, the enthusiastic churchman found time to jot

and

down

versatility

of

the

learned

notes of the wittj^ cynical, amusing,

edifying, and didactic sayings and narratives

which

he came across during his perusal of the literatures of the

and

Jews and Greeks, Arabs and Persians, Indians Lists of proverbs and moral and

Syrians.

religious aphorisms have been the normal product of

the

writers

Kaqemna, king of

of

who

the

East

flourished

Egypt, about

B.C.

from in

the

the

time

reign

of

when Kuni,

3800, wrote his Book of

PREFACE.

but

Instructions;"

considerably from

the

IX

work of Bar-Hebraeus

them

differs

inasmuch as the soundest

all,

and best teaching, both as regards the present and the future

a series

life,

the

and stones culled from

of concise sayings

some of the best fashion

by means of

successfully inculcated

is

literatures of the world.

among some

has been

It

to scoff at Syriac

literature

and monks who had

as being the product of priests

no knowledge of the profane writings of other nations; that the greater part of

it

as

ecclesiastical matters is true

known

to us relates to

beyond a doubt, but

the greatest Syriac writers had other interests

and of these Bar-Hebraeus

equally true,

covers

wide

a

cellaneous group of subjects.

the idea into the

embraces

and

ground,

We

of "Woman's Rights"

a

also

the most

is

The "Book of Laughable

example.

brilliant

is

that

stories"

very mis-

should hardly expect

ever to have entered

head of the Maphrian of the Jacobite Church,

or even to have

existed

in

an Oriental land

in

the

XIII th century of our era, yet from one of his stories

we

see that

of the

it

did,

and

also that

some women's views

matter were much then what they are now.

woman asked another why a man should have the power to buy a woman and to do what he pleased with her while a woman could not act with For when one

freedom

in

any matter, she

replied, "It

"and judges, and lawgivers have "have, therefore,

"own

cause,

all

is

because kings,

been men.

They

acted the part of advocate of theif

and have,

in consequence,

oppressed the b

PREFACE.

"women"

(see infra, p.

1

36).

Similarly

we

should hardly

expect Bar-Hebraeus to refer to the breakage of glass

by

and yet he does

careless servants,

a

that

set

of beautiful glass

Alexander the Great and

for

so,

vessels

was given

to

much

ad-

although he

that,

he relates

When

mired them, he ordered them to be broken. he was asked why he had done "that they "servants'

so,

would be broken one

he

after

said,

another by the

"always stirred up in me; for this reason

"one burst of wrath

ation

is

preserved

I

in

Sometimes, too, curious inform-

among Bar-Hebraeus,

a story. Thus is

one

was men who followed

in

which we are told that

that trade

who

and the rod of Moses, and the

"cup,

that with

it is

have driven away many storms of

p. 14).,

anecdotes of weavers it

know

and that thereby anger would be

hands,

"rage" (s^e infra,

"I

stole "Joseph's

fleece of

Gideon,

"and the sling of David, and the swaddling bands of "John,

and the sandals of the Apostles; and when Mary

"asked them to shew her the

way

to the Sepulchre,

"they sent her by a wrong road" (see infra,

p.

123).

For a general description of the plan of the "Book of Laughable Stories" the reader

and

it

only remains for

thanks to Mr. C. H. for

me

me

Tawney

is

referred to

to express here

p.

my

XXI

grateful

for his kindness in obtaining

the loan of the India Office

MS. containing a

copy of the Syriac text of the work.

London, August

i,

ff,

1896. E. A.

WALLIS BUDGE.

^xiitobuctioix.

John* Abu'l-Faraj or Abu'I-Faraj Gregory, the author of the "Book of Laughable Stones" printed in the present volume,

who

was the son of Aaron, a Jewish

at Melitene;

lived

was a Jew,

the

child

Syrians "Bar 'Ebhraya"

whence the name 1537 = A.

"

from the

fact

was commonly (z. e.

physician,

Eariy ufe

that his father tion

of Bar-

by the

called

the "son of the Hebrew"),

Bar-Hebraeus".

He was

born A. Gr.

were passed in the diligent study of the Greek, Syriac, and Arabic languages; philosophy and theology next occupied his close attention, and he obtained a considerable knowledge of medicine from his father and from D. 1226, and the early years of his

When

other celebrated physicians.

Bar-Hebraeus accompanied

life

eighteen years old

his father to Antioch.

Sub-

sequently he went to Tripolis, quAo^^O^, and together

with Selibha bar-Ya'kobh

Waghih ocini^ ia

cTxi^^, studied the healing art tain learned

Bishop of

Gubos near '

The ii.

II.

sent for them, and appointed Se-

Melitene.

chief facts of the

col.

cer-

Akko and Bar-Hebraeus Bishop In the following year life

Assemani, Bibliotheca Orientalis^ Eccles-,

and medicine with a

Nestorian called Jacob; whilst there the

Patriarch Ignatius libha

c^laiA^He

431

ff.;

of Bar-Hebraeus

p. 244 and Wright, Syriac ii.

f.;

of

Aaron of

are

given by

Bar-Hebraeus, Chron,

Literature^ p. 265

ff.

is

Bishop

conof

INTRODUCTION.

XIV

Lakabhin near Melltene left his flock and went to Jerusalem, and Ignatius II. appointed Bar-Hebraeus to the vacant see. In 1253 he was transferred to Aleppo, and eleven years later he was raised to the dignity of Maphrian by the Patriarch Ignatius III., Abbot of Gewikhath near Mopsuestia. The principal events which Mrphrilnoftook place in connection the Jacobite

Church.

J

j.j|^g

with his ecclesiastical rule are

Bar-Hebraeus himself J by J

which work the reader

to

Chronicle^,

in his Ecclesiastical is

referred for

information about the busy and most useful

death

man we owe to

1286,

when Bar-Hebraeus had

eminent

this

i^gs^ofdeafh'y^^^ and super- yy^as stition.

life

which

the following account of his

lived;

his brother

Bar-Sauma.

In the year

arrived at the sixtieth

of his age, he began to be afraid that his end

and he said, '*I was born in the & "year when Chronos and Zeus were in conjunction in drawlngf &

nig-h,

'

twenty years later

"the sign of the Zodiac Aquarius;

"when the same planets were in conjunction in the sign I was consecrated bishop; twenty years "later when the same planets were in conjunction in "the sign of the Twins I was held to be worthy of the "office of Maphrian ^ and twenty years later, when the "same two planets shall again be in conjunction In the "of the Balance

"sign

of Aquarius,

And he

"this world."

shall

"I

I

said,

"O

I

shall

depart from

net of the worlds, in

A. D. 1226) thy mesh did catch believe that in the year 1597 {i. e., A. D. 1286)

"the year 1537

"me; but

believe that

I

(i. e.,

no longer be

In

'

Ed. Abbeloos and Lamy,

*

In Syr., rdx.i.ai«,

/.

thee^."

pt.

e.,

ii.

col.

Throughout that un-

431

ff.

"He who maketh

[the

Church]

to

flourish." 3

The

text

of

this

curious

passage

runs:

— r^^f^

ovixac

XV

INTRODUCTION.

lucky year he continued to brood on these things and

they

could

not

be

from

banished

Hebraeus was then dwelling Ing bands from Syria were

Bar-

country near Nine-

in the

veh, and his brother Bar-Sauma,

mind.

his

knowing

each summer

that

maraud- ^^ brother's fears for his

,

^

in the habit safety,

and of carrying people into captivity, and of plundering, and of spoiling and laying waste the land about Nineveh far and wide, and believing his brother to be quite incapable of taking of invading that

steps to protect himself,

"

district,

either himself or his people,

Peradventure he

will

into

fall

the hands of

"these robbers, and the Maphrian's words

''come

to

pass."

From

said to

will actually

on he ceased not

that time

Bar-Hebraeus should Bar-Heband betake himself to the country ^^^^^^^^^^^ of Maraghah In Adhorbaijan, that he might escape *°^^''^e^^^from the death upon which he perpetually brooded. At length Bar-Sauma s importunity had the desired ef-

to urge with great persistence that

leave the

fect

district

and Bar-Hebraeus

rived there in safety. K'OOD

\\n

rd.\oi.l

rCliK'

bwjL

^a^vz.

^CWCV

.rq3.i

r

out for

rdl^TSCfli co.t\cv»3.i

."U^

^uaia.i

Maraghah and arHere he was treated with the

set

K'l^cco

^

cara.i

,ob

^iwK'

'.K^nxs >J.i^ vbre* h\iXD rtfJsol^ h\i^^yi

See Asseraani, B.O.,

ii.

263; Chro7i.

Eccles.^

ii.

col. 467.

^

i\t

.

INTRODUCTION.

XVI

by men of every class, and the Arab noblcs entreated him to translate his Chronicle, orisfinlates his Sy^ riac chro-ally written in Syriac, mto Arabic' so that they also '° ° might read and enjoy it. To this he agreed, and he Arabic. at once began to make the Arabic translation, using the most beautiful and classical language for the purpose; after working for a ''month of days" he had greatest honour

He

trans-

.

finished

.

.

.

the whole

,

translation

with

exception

the

of

folios. His death was, no doubt, accelerated by most laborious task, an idea of the magnitude of which may be gained from the fact that the translation

three this

He falls sick,

565 pages

fills

in

small

4 to!

On

was seized with

He

night

the

Tammuz

Sabbath, the 27th day of the month

of the

(July)

he

the whole night long;

and he was consumed with heat on the Sunday the physicians

came and struggled

make him

fever,

to

drink

some medicine,

but this he refused to do, saying that drugs would do refuses him uo good for his hour had come. It was noticed that

he had been better and stronger

health and

body during

that

in his

general

year than he had been

many years past, but the fever had so weakened him three days later that, when on the Sunday he asked for pen and paper to write and they were given to him, he was unable to write at all; ''and twice an hour Is prostrated ''he felt his left hand with his right and said, My by fever. "strength hath come to an end and is worn out. Thou "hast wronged me, O my brother, and hast not per"mitted me to die and to be buried by the pious "monks, and elders, and deacons, of whom this day I Thou "have been the chief for twenty-two years. for

.

'

The

under the

work was published

Oxford

first

edition of this

title

of ^'Historia Compmdiosa Dynastiariftn^^ ed. E.Pococke.

at

in

1663

INTRODUCTION.

"wouldst

make me

XVII

to flee from death,

O my

brother,

.

"but behold the flight hath not benefited me.

Be

strong,

^is cheerful speech to his brother,

"however, and of good cheer, and weep not, neither

some new thing had taken With these and such like words "did he speak the whole day, and he was cheerful and "mourn immoderately

as

if

"place in the world.

being not at

"laughed,

"men.

And

all

afraid

of death like other

he called straightway for Sa'id the phy-

and deacon and said to him, 'Write what I and he made a beginning to his dis"course [with these words]: 'The days of the child "of man are like unto the grass, and like the flower "of the field doth he grow up.' Then having completed "the confession, as was right, he brought forth with "his hand two statutes, one for the patriarchal throne, "sician

"shall tell thee,'

—

"and the other for the throne of the Maphrian and 1* 1-1 111' r 11 "the ordermg of his cell, and delivered them to 1

1

And

"brother.

he began to give commands to

'Abide

saying,

"ciples,

"one another, "poor,

in

love,

I

am

also

in

exhor-

1*

tationstothe

his

brethren,

his dis-

and depart not from

and whensoever ye are

"gether in love

forHis

'

gathered to-

your midst.'

But they,

wretched beings, rent their garments and cast

"dust upon their heads, and were weeping until about

hours of the night had passed, when he who "meanwhile had ceased not to talk and to laugh with

"three

"a smiling face, went out like a lamp, or

I

should rather

"say like a brilliant and splendid torch, and he departed He dies, "to

Lord on the night of the

his

"Tammuz

When

(July) in the

year 1597,"

the Catholicus

Mar Yahbh

at that time in the city of ^

col.

For the 471

if.

text

see

B.

O.,

thirty-third 2*

e,,

day of

A. D. 1286.'

Allaha,

universal

who was tionJof gnef

Maraghah, heard of the death ii.

p.

264

f;

and

Chrofi. Ecdes.^

ii.

^' "^^ '''^*-

INTRODUCTION.

XVIII

he ordered that no man should go into the market and that no shop should be opened. The bell-ringer went forth and all the people were of Bar-Hebraeus,

gathered together to the Maphrian s Nestorians sent

of the

tholicus

and the Ca-

cell,

there

the

pious

folk

who were with him, together with a number of large wax candles to be burnt during the funeral service, and the whole of the congregations of the Armenians and

Greeks came likewise; about two hundred were sembled there and they continued the

Greeks,

sects.

pray and to make offerings

the Monast'^

Mar

the Monastery of

is

centuries

early called

the time he sojourned

all

Subsequently his body was removed to

Maraghah.

in

JJ^ttil

as-

prayer from dawn

ninth hour. When the Nestorians, and the and the Armenians had ended their prayers and had buried him in a suitable manner, they laid the holy body in the little altar at which he was wont to

Sympathy of until

His body

in

Mattai,

which was

of the Christian era

Alpep by ancient Syrian

Maklub by the Arabs,

situated at

in

built in the

the mountain

and Jebel a distance of a few writers',

Here in a niche in the north-west corner of the same chamber in which Mar Mattai is buried, is the tomb of Barhours to the north-east of Mosul (Nineveh).

Hebraeus; the Monastery Jacobites, but

it

is

is

in

the possession of the

sadly out of repair and most things

have been plundered by Kurds, and only a few monks now live there. During the winter when the snow has fallen the Monastery is difficult of access, of value

and even when there and difficult ^ *

See Hoffmann, Auszuge,

*

For a view of

vol.

i.

p.

97.

this

is

no snow the path

is

steep

p. 19.

Monastery see Badger,

T/ie Nestorians,

INTRODUCTION.

From

the facts stated above

Christians

the

XIX

it

is

Mesopotamia and

in

evident that in

the

all

countries

about deplored the loss of Bar-Hebraeus with sincere grief,

writer

and there

whom

is

little

doubt that he was the greatest

the Syrian Church ever produced'.

of Greek and Arabic

knowledp^e .

His

opened store-houses ^^^t leaming of Barmost of his fellow- Hebraeus. .

.

of learning which were closed to

countrymen, and his energy and general literary ability were remarkable. His works shew that he had studied deeply many subjects of which the other scholars of his Church were profoundly ignorant, and the ready wit of his many-sided mind and his lucid style enabled him to adapt the knowledge of extraneous and difficult subjects to his own needs, and to express them simply but clearly for the advantage of his readers. This is no place to give a catalogue of his works ^, and it His must be sufficient to state that during the forty years which he passed in the service of his Church eighteen years as bishop of various dioceses, and twenty-two years as Maphrian he seems to have been able to

—

—

master the philosophy of the Greeks and the Arabs, and to have made it available by his translations of Philosophy, their works for his fellow-countrymen. theology, natural science, history, medicine, the science

of grammar, &c.,

were only a few of the subjects in the knowledge of which he excelled, and it is evident from a perusal of his works that he was no superficial student of the false sciences of the day, ^

269 ^

See B.

6>.,

ii.

p.

269

ff.;

I

mean

astro-

Wright^ Syriac Literaturcy p. 265

ff.,

ff.

Jedenfalls

seiner Kirche

ist

und

Skizzen, p. 273.

Barhebraeus einer der hervorragendsten Manner seiner ganzen Nation.

Noeldeke,

Orienialische

untiring

;

XK

INTRODUCTION.

His service loofv, "^ to the litera-

ture

of his

divination,

and so

forth.

The

service which he

^ rendered to his Church and her Hterature,

country.

owe him

ars

and to

his

^^^ hardly be overestimated, and Western schol-

j^^^[q^

a great debt of gratitude especially for

and

his Universal History, his Storehouse of Secrets, his grammatical works. The able

"Book

The

''Book of Laughable Stories"

which

sto-and translated in the following pages,

Bar-Hebraeus wrote called

in

r

(JDJo ^i^et create tge (Univeree Bp tge mi^gt

«f [^9^] fan of

written] in conciee

fiut

fPuent fan^ua^e.

tU

aMe,

to^et^et

moreover

600ft com^jrieetg

[are

Mft of

I.

11.

t^i

thptite.

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE GREEK PHILOSOPHERS. PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE PERSIAN SAGES.

III.

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE INDIAN SAGES.

IV.

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE HEBREW SAGES.

V. VI. VII. VIII.

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE CHRISTIAN ASCETICS.

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE MUSLIM KINGS AND OF THEIR SAGES. PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF DOCTORS AND SCRIBES.

CONCERNING THE EXCELLENT SAYINGS OF ARAB ASCETICS AND

OLD MEN. IX.

X. XI.

STORIES OF PHYSICIANS

AND LEGENDS ATTRIBUTED TO THEM.

CHOICE STORIES OF THE SPEECH OF IRRATIONAL ANIMALS.

MEN WHOSE DREAMS AND DIVINATIONS HAVE COME

STORIES OF

TRUE. XII.

STORIES OF RICH

AND GENEROUS MEN.

XIII.

STORIES OF AVARICIOUS

XIV.

STORIES OF

XV. LAUGHABLE XVI. XVII. XVIII.

XIX.

STORIES OF

MISERS.

WORKMEN WHO FOLLOWED STORIES OF ACTORS

DESPISED HANDICRAFTS.

AND COMEDIANS.

CLOWNS AND SIMPLETONS.

STORIES OF LUNATICS

STORIES OF ROBBERS

STORIES OF

MEN AND

AND OF MEN POSSESSED OF

AND

DEVILS.

THIEVES.

WONDERFUL aCCIDENTS AND OCCURRENCES.

XX. PHYSIOGNOMICAL CHARACTERISTICS DESCRIBED BY THE

SAGES.

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE GREEK PHILOSOPHERS.

A

I.

certain

"How

is

crates

replied,

that

it

I

Another

said

unto

him,

see in thee no sign of sorrow?" So-

"Because

"I should sorrow II.

of Socrates

disciple

I

possess nothing for which

perished."

if it

unto him,

[disciple] said

"If the vessel

"wherein thou hidest were to be broken, what wouldst Socrates replied, "Even

"thou do?"

"to be broken,

the place in which

the vessel were

if

is

it

would not be

"broken." III.

"ugly

To Socrates thy face,

is

"How

the wife of a certain

man

O

Socrates replied

Socrates!"

And

said,

unto her, saying, "If thou thyself hadst been a clean "mirror

should have been distressed [by thy words];

I

"but since thou art a dirty one "flected

by

"cause of IV.

on a

thee.

I

do

not,

my

beauty

not re-

is

however, blame thee be-

it."

Socrates saw a tree,

and he

woman who had hanged

said,

"Would

that

all

herself

trees bore such

"fruit as this!"

V.

A

certain

woman saw

Socrates

as

they were

carrying him along to crucify' him, and she wept and said,

"Woe

is

me,

for

they are about to slay thee

"without having committed any offence." '

See the note to story No. XCIII.

And

Socrates

THE LAUGHABLE STORIES OF BAR-HEBR^US.

8

made answer

unto

"wouldst thou have

me

might be punished

'*I

A

VI.

foolish

had a daughter, and two

him] wishing to take her to wife; one

[to

man he

that

a criminal?"

of them was poor and the other was rich

woman,

commit some crime

also

like

certain philosopher

men came

"O

saying,

her,

said,

not give

"I will

my

To

rich.

the

daughter unto

and he gave her to the poor man. And when the folk asked him, "Why hast thou acted in this 'manner.'*" he made answer unto them, saying, "The ''thee,"

*

man

''rich **to

is

a

and

fool,

I

was

poverty; but the poor

"hope and believe that he Certain

VII.

men asked

would come and therefore I gain riches and wealth."

afraid lest he

man will

is

wise,

another philosopher,

"What

"thing would benefit the majority of mankind?"

And

"The death of a wicked governor." VIII. To another philosopher it was said, "Wherein "dost thou differ from the king?" And he replied, "The

he

replied,

"king

is

a slave to his

lusts,

whilst

my

passion

is

sub-

"servient unto me." IX. Certain

men asked

Plato,

"With what

shall

a

"man console himself when he falleth into temptation?" Plato made answer unto him, saying, "The wise "man consoleth himself because he knoweth that that "which hath come to pass must necessarily have hap-

And

"pened; but the fool consoleth himself [by thinking] "that that which hath happened unto himself hath also

"happened unto other men." X. saying, "if it

Aristotle

"Do

commanded Alexander

[the

not reveal thy secret unto two

Great],

men

lest,

be revealed, thou be unable to be certain which

"of the two hath

made

it

public,

and

"both of them thou wilt then certainly

if

thou punishest

inflict

an injury

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE GREEK PHILOSOPHERS.

him that revealed

''upon

it

not,

and

if

9

thou forgivest

"both of them thou wilt not do even an act of grace

who

"because of him

revealed

not."

it

was said, "What man "He whose expectations

To another philosopher

XI.

it

happy .^" And he replied, "are, for the most part, realised." "is

Aristotle

XII.

"One wise man agreeth with

said,

"another wise man, but a fool

man nor a

"a wise

"one straight

fool.

line coincide

"straight line,

neither agreeth with

For, behold,

with

all

XIII.

"in

It

"hungry

the parts of another

nor with those

line,

line."

was said

to Diogenes,

He

market-place?"

.the

the parts of

of crooked lines neither

but the parts

"coincide with those of a straight

"of a crooked

all

"Why

replied,

dost thou eat

"Because

I

am

in the market-place."

XIV. Diogenes saw a harlot's child throwing stones

and he said to him, "Throw not stones, lest own father without knowing it." XV. Another philosopher saw a certain man giving instruction to a certain maiden, and he said unto him,

"at people,

"thou smite thine

"Add

not wickedness to wickedness.

Why

dost thou

and proper by dipping it "in poison, whereby she shall be the more able to slay "the children of men and to lead captive their minds i^" XVI. Another philosopher saw a damsel carrying fire, and he said, "Behold fire upon fire, but the bearer "poison that which

"is

is

right

stronger than the burden."

XVII.

Another philosopher saw a woman

in

the

theatre looking on as a spectator, and he said [to her],

"Thou

hast not

come

XVIII. [To him also]

"king love thee?"

He

out to see, but to be seen." it

was

said,

replied,

"It

"Why is

doth not the

the peculiar char-

THE LAUGHABLE STORIES OF BAR-HEBR.EUS.

lO

of kings

"acteristic

to

love not him that

greater

is

''than they."

XIX. Another philosopher

said,

"Take heed of the

''two-legged lion," thereby referring to the king.

XX. To "we

another philosopher

it

was

"Why

said,

do

eat the outside of the date, and the inside of the

He

"nut?"

replied,

"The Divine Providence of the

concerneth not

"Creator

itself

with

how

that

which

"hath been created shall be eaten, but with the matter

"of

how

the species thereof shall be preserved in per-

whereby the species is preserved "is inside both, even though the kernel of the nut is "edible and the stone of the date is not." XXL Alexander [the Great] saw among the soldiers of his army a man called Alexander who continually took to flight in the time of war, and he said to him, "Either be strong in battle or change thy name, so "that listeners be not deceived by the similarity of our thus that

"petuity;

N

''names."

XXII. Another philosopher saw a city with a mighty

y

and he said, "This is a dwelling"place for women and befitteth not men." XXIII. A certain philosopher, who was a cynic from Alexandria, asked the king for a mathkal^ of gold, and wall round about

the king

it,

made answer

is

not of

The

philo-

to him, saying, "This

"the gifts which kings are

wont

to give."

sopher then asked him for a talent [of gold]^ and the

king replied,

"This

is

not a request which should be

^'made by a cynic."

/

XXIV.

"Why have the envious gloomy faces?" He replied, "Because

Aristotle 'was asked,

^'always sad and '

A

gold coin equal

^

/.

e.^

in value to

about £4,217

sterling.

about nine shillings of our money.

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE GREEK PHILOSOPHERS.

'they are not only grieved

I I

over their own wicked-

"nesses, but also over the virtues of others."

XXV. Another "occupation

philosopher was asked,

He

of orators?"^

who are XXVI. Dixit

"those

little

and to

replied,

belittle

him

"What

the

is

"To magnify that

is

great/'

philosophus alius quidam, "Quatuor sunt

"genera corporalium voluptatum: quorum primum mo"mento temporis durat ut coitu frueris; alterum per diem "ut masculina prole gaudes usque dum nimium flere

mensem

"coepit; tertium per

"ventrem

fert;

ut

quartum tamen

nova nupta usque dum

omnem

per

aevum

ut

"divitiarum abundantia."

XXVII. Plato "by his

said,

"The

fool

much speaking about

"him not, and by

his

is

known by two that

things:

which benefiteth

giving answers about subjects

men ask him not." XXVin. Another philosopher was asked, "Which He replied, "He who "the greatest fool of all.^^" "concerning which

is is

t^

"tripped up twice."

XXIX.

upon the ring of Pythagoras "The evil which is not perpetual is "better than the good which is not perpetual." XXX. Another philosopher said, "The wise man re"cogniseth the fool because he himself was formerly a

there

"fool;

was

It

is

said that

written,

but the

fool

never recogniseth the wise man,

when he was wise." XXXI. Another philosopher said, "About man there "is nothing more marvellous than the fact that he

"there never having been a time

"spendeth his riches and

is

sad, but

though

his

days

away he. is not grieved." XXXII. A certain man saw Socrates gnawing the

"pass

Read rjTli^ooi

(?).

B2

^^

I

THE LAUGHABLE STORIES OF BAR-HEBR^EUS.

2

root of a tree, and he said to him,

"If

thou wert a

"servant of the king thou wouldst have no need to eat

"such food as

And

this."

Socrates replied, saying, "If

"thou also didst eat such food as this thou wouldst

"have no need to serve the king." X.

XXXIII. It is said that when Alexander [the Great] had been poisoned' and was nigh unto death, he wrote to his mother and said unto her, "When thou hast read "this letter make ready much meat and make a feast "for [thy] people, but do not allow to eat those who "have not lost some relative by death." Now he did this so that when she considered and saw that no man had escaped this calamity she might be consoled and not be sad^ XXXIV. To another philosopher it was said, "How "is it that thou dost condescend to learn from every "man?" He replied, "Because I know that learning is a "profitable thing

come

it

from whatsoever source

it

may."

XXXV. ciple

Another philosopher whilst teaching his dissaid to him, "Dost thou understand?" and he re"Yes."

plied,

"for

the

The

mark of

"eth itself in the

philosopher then said, intelligence disciple's

is

the joy

face,

and not

"Thou

liest,

which shewhis

answer

"'Yes'."

^

XXXVI.

It

was said

to Diogenes,

"Dost thoi* possess

"anywhere a house wherein to rest?" And he replied, "Wheresoever I rest there is my house." XXXVII. Alius quidam in foro Venerem palam exercebat: qui interrogatus, "Nonne tui pudet? Quid facis?" '

See

my

Life

and Exploits of Alexander

the Great, pp. 339, 373,

427 and 430. *

text,

Compare Historia Compendiosa Dynastiarum^ ed. Pococke, Arabic p. 96; and Contextio Gemmarum, ed. Pococke, p. 287.

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE GREEK PHILOSOPHERS.

I

3

Respondit, "Cur mei pudere decet: virum enim condo, adolescere valet."

si

XXXVIIL

^

It

was

"irrational animals

"Woman,"

"Which of the

said to Socrates,

is

not beautiful?"

referring to her

And

he replied,

folly.

XXXIX. One day Diogenes went up to a high place and cried out for men to come unto him; and a large number of people were gathered together round about him. And he said unto them, "I did not call you but "men," indicating the philosophers by the word "men". XL. He was also asked, "What thing is the most "difficult

for

a

man

"know himself and

XL

I.

A

certain

[to

And

do]?"

he replied, "To

to conceal his secret."

friend

of Socrates^

took

with him concerning the marrying a wife,

counsel

and he

re-

"Take heed that there happen not unto thee "that which befel the fish in the matter of the net; plied,

which were inside longed to go

out,

"which were outside were eager to go

in."

*'those

XLII.

and those

Certain folk enquired of him concerning the

proper time for [eating] food, and he replied, "Let him "that

hath food eat

"that hath

it

not eat

when he when he

is

hungry, and

let

him

can."

Aristotle wrote to Alexander advising him, "Take good heed that thy soldiers think no "evil concerning thee, for to him who can think easily "it is easy to" speak, and to him who can speak easily "it is easy to act"; now he said this that Alexander might do good unto every man. XLIV. Another philosopher said, "Whatsoever thou

XLIII.

saying,

"hidest from thine

^

Variant^ Diogenes.

enemy

that reveal not to thy friend,

THE LAUGHABLE STORIES OF BAR-HEBRiEUS.

14

''for

thou knowest not whether he

may become

thine

*'enemy."

XLV. Diogenes was asked concerning a certain ^ wealthy man, ^'Is he rich?" And he replied, "I know "not whether he

is

rich [or not],

"he possesseth much money."

Now

but

I

do know that

he meant by these

words that the man who hankereth not to possess anymore is a rich man, because everyone who longeth for more than he hath is poor in comparison with that which he possesseth not. XL VI. A king asked Diogenes, "Where are thy "wealth and possessions?" And he pointed to his disciples and said, "With them," referring thereby to the wisdom [which he had taught them]. XLVII. To another philosopher it was said, "It is hard "that that which a man seeketh not should come to him." And he replied, "Much harder than this is it that a "man should seek that which cometh not to him." XLVIII. Plato the philosopher was once rebuked because he possessed not riches, and he replied, "How "can I possess that which avarice and greediness guard "and which liberality and benevolence destroy.'^" XLIX. Gifts of certain vessels of glass were given to Alexander, and though they pleased him very much he ordered them to be broken. And when he was asked the reason he replied, "I know that they would "be broken one after the other by the servant s hands, "and that thereby anger would be always stirred up "in me; for this reason it is that with one burst of "wrath I have driven away many storms of rage." L. Plato was asked, "Why are not wisdom and anger "found together.'^" And he replied, "Because no man thing

"can be found

who

is

perfect in everything."

PROFITABLE SAYINGS OF THE GREEK PHILOSOPHERS.

I

5

LI. Aristotle said, ''The fool perceiveth not the sick-

of his mind any

''ness

more than doth the drunkard

"the thorn which hath entered into his hand."

To

was said, "Wherein art thou "better than other men?" And he replied, "Because LII.

Aristotle

it

may

"they live that they

eat,

but

eat that

I

may

I

"live." v^

Another philosopher married a small and thin and when he was asked why he had done so re-

LIII.

wife, plied,

"I

LIV.

chose the lesser

It

was reported

to

evil."

Alexander that the daughters

of Darius were exceedingly beautiful, and he replied,

would be a most shameful thing

for us to be conany nation whatsoever], [how "much more^ then would it be a disgrace to us] if "their women were to do so?" LV. It happened to Socrates that he became once a fellow-traveller on the road with a rich man, and the report reached them that there were gangs of robbers and highwaymen on the road. And the rich man began to say, "Woe is me if they recognize me." "It

men

"quered by the

[of

But Socrates made answer to him, saying, "I "of this opinion at

all,

woe be

to

them

if

am

not

they do not

"recognize me."

LVI.

A

"evil thing

certain rich shall

man wrote above

his door,

"No

When

Dio-

enter in through thee."

genes met him, he said unto him, "How, then,

will

thy

"wife enter the house?"

LVII.

It

was

said to a certain philosopher while he

was soaking dry bread ^

Compare

TrXrjv

2.

water to

eat,

"How

canst

aicsxpov eaiiv rjiua^ Toug dfv5pa<s viKncravxa^

UTTO Y^vaiKuuv fiTiriGfivai. col.

in

Pseudo-Callisthenes, ed. Miiller, p. 74,

6

THE LAUGHABLE STORIES OF BAR-HEBRiEUS.

1

And

"thou desire to eat such [food] as this?" plied,

leave

*'I

against the

until

it

When

LVIII.

do desire to eat it." was going to wage war

I

Amazons he

me

"vanquish

LIX.

it

said,

we conquer

"If

order

"soever

a

LX.

is

to

us,

this race

and

if

they

be a great disgrace."^

will

Hippocrates

"self in

re-

Alexander

not be a matter of boasting for

"it will

he

said,

do

his

"Whosoever

him-

injureth

neighbour any good what-

fool."

Dixit idem philosophus,

"miscere fas est feminae

"Duobus tantum com-

— conjugi

scilicet et pulveri se-

"pulchri."'

LXI.

It

was

to

him

"Behold thy

that his wife said,

He

"son doth not resemble thee in any way."

replied,

gave thee the shapeless matter for his physical form and it is others who have given it shape," meaning by "others" the various natural formative forces which "I

"only,

womb.

fashion the child in the

LXII. "wise

It

man

was he who said to

meet

for the

look at his face in a mirror.

If his

"countenance be ugly ^

Compare

the

^12990 ^^J^cfx^TO

vOA\ OCD

let

also, "It is

him not add

words of the Amazons >il>c»».i

(%lzxX.i

r
tarrieth outside his cell."

Aini.i

.r^jaflo

h\j^r^

Kla^

^^r^ ^^K' rdvaj

cm

.'TJ^K'o

TWO

.KlisaocniX

"U^ am

.f
said,

4

^i^i.i

i^K'o ,r^h\o\^

^rO.i

kA

^.1

>l*iA.l^K'.l

ctA r^acn c»«.^z^ •/f^^Q.UJo obiAxf^

4^\|^cncxiiz.cU) it^i

r^T^

iisOK'

,r rO^cno

.J^-

ooi^

r^^ClaxOo cnia

f

^orAk ^.jja^- co-sO

CUJuire'o .PC^^'ahlo K'^.T rdi.V CUiSii .ir3di>2QA

Kloi^K" r .f.273

hfy^f^Lcy^T^

runs:— .^.^^^Or^ f<SDr^ \xSlCO

K'rdi^

.•Jiz.

.CP^i\n-)

•^LkK'.lO

tOx

full

K'CVcaS.f

rd>.1iM,A f^.ico

JLXr^

.ttl^.i

orA

.t^^CU

.n^TA.i.i

J3.i\

TJSWr^ ity^r^i

rdl^^r^^.T

^r^

.UJ

r^Tx^JL

rdlxi

fAn\

d^iAfioK'.l (fol. 231^, 3

\2sot^ .^^^OairU.i

(fol.

.^ocn

(^\\°k.l

K»OCD

>'Tfi2r3

.^ocp

iA.idoJSQ

cy3^U>

K'Wlm.i

.nzA)^>£n

K'.iasw

^CTiisO

^^^oooiso .-uA

rt;»r
KlUM

CUi2Ja

Klaiuf^ ^.T

.cvA

^ij^r^'o

^a

.^ocn rOi ^Ocn Kir^.i ociA^f^ ^.1

jia.i

^oco

^1

0'«re'o

re'.'Ujss

Kbco >iz:»o

r^o cnd\U> ^oco

iiarc'

^^^ r^r^

oViOr^h\r^

K'^ijjA .rdxi _o^arA anooi olxr^a K'^CUAt.i

^cA

icnaXr£i^r -l^O .cnCTSO^a

.^nSiSO

(fol.

f^.Tjjifla

rdiw.T.^

,cn

col

ocn .>cncu^ji

Klajio cn\nT.o

ocn K'ocn

,03

id^sO

r^.T»f:^»»n ^^.1

,q3

.K'^fxaiflo

tJ^^^re*

.K'^clrajLfiQa thr^r^ ^^^\^

.^^CV^ T

>^r^

rd»U> .r^icn

v.^_a^U^r^

rCl^icn.i

r