Teacher's Pet

Teacher's Pet by G.A. Hauser Phaze www.phaze.com Copyright ©2008 by G.A. Hauser NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to th...

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Teacher's Pet by G.A. Hauser

Phaze www.phaze.com

Copyright ©2008 by G.A. Hauser

NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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Published by Phaze Books Also by G.A. Hauser Miller's Tale ****

**** This is an explicit and erotic book intended for the enjoyment of adult readers. Please keep out of the hands of children. www.Phaze.com 3


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Teacher's Pet a novel of homoerotic romance by G.A. HAUSER

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Teacher's Pet © 2008 by G.A. Hauser All rights reserved under the International and PanAmerican Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental. ****

**** A Phaze Production 6


Phaze Books 6470A Glenway Avenue, #109 Cincinnati, OH 45211-5222 Phaze is an imprint of Mundania Press, LLC. To order additional copies of this book, contact: [email protected] www.Phaze.com Cover art © 2007 Debi Lewis Edited by Candi Bowen eBook ISBN-13: 978-1-59426-890-8 eBook ISBN-10: 1-59426-890-8 First Edition—March, 2008 Printed in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 7


Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

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CONTENTS Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty About the Author ****

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Chapter One "Back to the grind. The summer break never seems long enough." "Not long enough? Christ, Jeremy, how much longer than three months do you need?" Kevin laughed, shaking his head. "I need six! I'm not ready for this. Look at this fricken' schedule. Forty-two credits. I'm dyin' here!" "Where do you want to sit?" Kevin paused at the doorway. "Back row, Kevin. Back row. Art history is bound to put me to sleep. What the hell's the prof's name again?" "Foster." Kevin set his backpack down and unzipped it. Watching as he pulled out his notebook and a shiny new textbook, Jeremy sat next to him and did the same as the large lecture hall filled with students. "You know anything about him?" "Not a thing." "He better be good. I have him for my flippin' sculpture class as well." "Oh, nice!" Jeremy glanced curiously over at his roommate's grin. "What?" "Check out the number in the skimpy halter top, third row, growl!" Scanning the numerous female forms in brightly colored tops, Jeremy thought he found the correct object of desire. "Nice." "I got dibs." 10


"Be my guest. Christ, Kevin, first day and you're already drooling." "Hey, why waste time? I got my priorities straight. I wonder if she's in the dorm?" About to reply, Jeremy heard a murmur circulate the room. He paused and looked up to the front of the hall. Professor Foster had just entered and was setting his briefcase on the floor beside the podium. He removed some paperwork from it and looked it over as if refreshing his mind. "Man, did it get hot in here?" Jeremy ran his hand through his hair. Kevin shot him a cheesy grin. "Nah, that's just your libido rising with the lovely ladies present." "Yeah, that must be it. Uh, look, I guess I thought being way back here was a good idea, but I can't really see. You mind if we move up a few rows?" Grumbling in irritation, Kevin grabbed his paperwork and then the strap of his backpack, nodding for him to go. Jeremy gathered his things and marched down the stepped aisle to the second row from the front, almost directly in line with the professor. "Jesus, Jeremy! So close? I don't want the idiot to call on me. I haven't even read the damn book." "Sorry. I can see and hear better from here." Jeremy set his things down and sat on the wooden seat. "Besides, you can flirt with your little halter top chick better from here." Taking a quick look across the aisle, Kevin replied, "So I can. All right, I can live with this." "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen..." 11


Jeremy gazed up at the man as he tried to get the class's attention. "I realize it's stuffy in here, and there's no air circulating. I'll try not to lull you to sleep as well." "He's all right," Jeremy whispered as a murmur of laughter circled the room. "If you don't mind..." Professor Foster took off his denim shirt, revealing a sleeveless t-shirt under it, and draped it over the back of the chair. "There, that's a bit better. Strip if you have the desire, no marks for whether you have the body of a Michelangelo or a Rueben. And for those of you who already know the difference, thanks for reading the damn book!" Kevin laughed and glanced over at his friend. Jeremy was mesmerized, a huge smile planted on his face. When he felt a playful nudge, he blinked and then grinned at Kevin, trying to communicate his relief at having a decent teacher. "Right! Before I darken the room and put you all into a trance with my slides, can someone tell me something about the Renaissance movement in Italy?" When Jeremy's hand shot up, Kevin gaped at him in surprise. Trying to get the teacher's attention, Jeremy sighed in disappointment when he chose someone else. As the woman was giving her answer, Jeremy caught Kevin staring at him strangely. Jeremy couldn't help it if he had a permanent smile planted on his face. **** 12


Professor Peter Foster took a moment to look through his notes during a break. Feeling someone's gaze on him, he glanced up without moving his head and noticed a strikingly handsome young man staring at him, then turn away shyly when their eyes connected. A wry smile touched Peter's lips. He enjoyed the class more when there was one individual to admire. It made the time he spent lecturing much more interesting. And to see this quiet admiration coming from one of his male students for a change intrigued him. **** Fifty minutes later, Jeremy slid his notes into his book, looking up at Professor Foster as he did. "I've got to get across campus for my calculus class." "Huh?" Jeremy tilted his head to Kevin. "Oh, okay. See you later." "See ya." Waiting for him to leave, watching Kevin climb the stairs on one of the aisles, Jeremy noticed a stream of young pretty women lined up to ask the professor questions. Moving slowly, sliding his textbook into the pouch of his pack, Jeremy peered up sheepishly and wished he was brave enough to get in that line. Slinging his backpack on, he exhaled a deep sigh and turned one last time to look at Professor Foster before he left. As if there were some wired connection between them, Jeremy inhaled sharply when those deep green eyes locked onto his like a missile hitting its target. Almost disregarding the sweet smile under them, Jeremy felt his insides ignite like 13


a fireball. "Oh, God..." he breathed, and wondered if Professor Foster could read his lurid mind. **** Distracted by the incessant questions from the female students who weren't paying attention during the class, Peter inhaled deeply to relax and then noticed that same lovely young male staring at him again. In pleasure, he smiled his most charming smile and was very delighted with that blush in response. After a nudge from one of the girls, his attention was brought back once more to the mundane queries. Politely, Peter nodded and tried to appear interested, but he felt compelled to look beyond the young woman to that light set of blue eyes trying to catch his. Peter was trying to communicate to this young man that he could approach him. That it was all right. Looking over the line of females, Peter knew it would appear slightly out of ordinary for one lone male to stand there with the group of women. Sighing tiredly, he did his best to be patient as the long line of giggling, flirting girls seemed to wind on forever. **** Petite halter-top girl tapped the professor's arm to get his attention back. Politely, Professor Foster nodded and seemed to be contemplating her query. Jeremy twisted away and made the walk up the aisle, looking back only once missing that brilliant masculine gaze again. When he exited the hall, he pulled out his schedule to see where the next class was located, then read it over 14


quickly to refresh his mind on when his sculpture class was. Friday. A whole three days to go. After shoving it back into his notebook, he sighed and made his way across campus to his next class. **** Dumping his load of books on the floor, Jeremy closed the door behind him and checked the time. Scuffing his feet to the bedroom, he was surprised to see Kevin sprawled out on the top of the covers, sound asleep. Though he tried to be quiet as he entered, Kevin began coming to life and peered back at him through narrow eyes. "What the fuck time is it?" "Seven." "You at study hall?" "Yeah, I wanted to get the shit done before I got back here. I knew I'd crash, just like you are." Groaning in agony, Kevin rolled over and rubbed his face, running his hand through his short hair. "I hate getting back into a routine after having the summer off. I used to sleep till ten or eleven, man. Now? Oh ... I swear I'm always tired." "You get your work done?" "Most of it." Jeremy sat on his own bed and kicked off his shoes. "You read the art history assignment?" Kevin asked. "I did. You want the notes?" "I wouldn't mind." "Okay." Jeremy checked his wallet for cash. "Pizza? Or go out to the Hub?" "No Hub tonight. I'll just get drunk. Order a pizza." 15


"Meat special?" "Yeah. There's a ten in my wallet if you need it." Jeremy nodded and found an old menu on the nightstand between their single beds. He picked up the phone and dialed. "What do you think of Professor Foster ... Hello? Yeah, I'd like to order a pizza to be delivered." Kevin crawled out of bed, dragging his feet to the bathroom. Jeremy watched the door close, turning his attention back to the phone, he asked, "How much? Okay. Half hour? Cool." He hung up, staring at the dirty clothing that stuck out partway from under Kevin's disheveled bed. Even with the window wide open and a slight breeze coming in, it felt warm and muggy in the small room. The mirror on the closet door reflected his slouching posture, his khaki shorts and white polo shirt. He heard the toilet flush. Sitting up straighter, Jeremy pushed his hand back through his hair and studied his features in the mirror. His eyes misted over as his taboo thoughts about his teacher distracted him. Long muscular arms and rounded deltoids, hair, thick and dark, high cheekbones, long legs and a wonderful bulge right where... "You order the pizza? I'm starved." "Hmm? Yeah. About a half hour." "Where are those notes?" Jeremy stood and found his books by the door where he'd dropped them. Removing his notebook from the pile, he handed it over.

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"Cool. I'll just copy them." Kevin sat down at a desk and removed his own notebook from his backpack, then turned on the tiny lamp and flipped pages. Walking closer to stand behind him, Jeremy said, "Uh, it's mostly on the Italian painters. You know. I bet it'd be nice to go to Italy and see them in person, like he did. They were his own damn slides. You have to admire that. Most teachers just get them from some record file and have no idea what they are." "Yeah, and his stories were hilarious. I was laughing my ass off the whole time." "You don't believe he did most of that, do you?" Kevin looked up from his writing and shrugged. "Why not? He looks like a bit of a radical. You know, the long hair and shit." "Oh, come on ... skinny dipping in the Trevi Fountain? He'd have been arrested!" Kevin chuckled, continuing to write. Smiling to himself at that image, Jeremy shook his head and whispered, "Yeah, he probably did it. How old you think he is?" "I don't know. Early thirties? Why?" "Just curious." "Here, you didn't write much." Kevin handed Jeremy the notebook. "No, it was mostly pictures of paintings and not much text." "I suppose I should look at the chapter. I bet we have a pop quiz." Kevin shut the lamp and closed his notebook. 17


At a knock on their door, Jeremy smiled. "Pizza?" "I hope so!" They found some money and headed to the door. When Kevin opened it, Jeremy heard him shout, "Rocky, my man!" "Wassup, bro? You coming to the Hub tonight? Hey, Jeremy." "Hey, Rocky." Jeremy smiled at him, then noticed a bright white diamond sparkling from his caramel-colored earlobe. "You guys getting together tonight?" "Yeah, a group of us were going ... just stopped by to see if you'd join in." "Just ordered pizza, man." Kevin leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. "So? Come after pizza. We'll be there all night." "All right, man, I'll be there." "Cool!" Rocco grabbed Kevin's hand and shook it. "What about you, bro?" "Maybe. I'm exhausted. I thought I may just hit the sack early." "Oh, come on, Jeremy! Come for once!" Jeremy succumbed to his brilliant inviting grin. "All right." "See ya there. Don't let me down!" Jeremy smiled and watched Rocco walk down the hall. As Rocco pushed through the stairway doors, the pizza boy passed him on his way in. "Oh! Great!" Jeremy took out his wallet. "You order a pepperoni special?" the boy asked. "We did. Here, keep the change." Kevin took the pizza box as Jeremy handed him money. 18


"Thanks, man!" They sniffed hungrily at the pie, shut the door, dropping down on the floor, quickly opening the lid. "Could use some brews to wash it down with." Kevin shoved a piece into his mouth. "Fuck, it's hot!" Jeremy blew on it, nibbling it gingerly. "Christ, I should just sleep after this. I really don't want to go out." "So? Sleep." "I told Rocco I'd be there." Kevin shrugged, chewing and swallowing quickly. "I'll tell them you're a pussy." "Shut the fuck up," Jeremy laughed, shoving him. Kevin smiled knowingly at him, then gnawed at the crust like a starving mongrel. **** "Jezzuz! Is the gang all here or what?" Jeremy looked over Kevin's shoulder as the large group of males waved at them from a back table. "First day of class blues," Kevin replied, making his way over and high-fiving the circle of boys. "Get another pitcher!" Freddie shouted, "The service in here sucks tonight." "Well, it's packed." Jeremy found a very rushed looking waitress and felt sorry for her. "Go order it yourself!" Tim yelled, waving for him to hurry. Jeremy caught Kevin's irritated expression. He whispered to Kevin, "I'll go, you sit down." 19


"Thanks. I'll get the next one." In the dim overcrowded pub, Jeremy made his way to the counter. When he caught a man's attention he shouted, "A pitcher of beer." He received a nod, and counted out a few singles to set on the bar. When he spun around to look at the gathering of friends, he found them all leaning over the table to share some joke, laughing and making faces at one another. Someone brushed his side. Jeremy twisted around to a slender blonde. "Hey," she said. "Hey." "I'm Kelly." "Hi, Kelly. I'm Jeremy." "You got a girlfriend?" "No..." he whispered shyly. "Oh?" The pitcher was set on the counter. Jeremy gave the man the cash and waved him off to keep the change. "Want to sit with us?" Kelly asked, nodding to a table with five women staring at him. "Uh, I'm with them," Jeremy replied, nodding to the loud obnoxious group. "Oh, too bad. If you get tired of them, you can always join us, Jeremy." "Thanks, Kelly. But, I don't think so." "Too bad. We just voted you best looking boy in the room." "What?" he laughed. "Yeah, we did. Interested now?" 20


"No!" He was very flattered, smiling at her. "Okay, but if you want some casual sex, let us know." As she wiggled back to the table, his mouth was hanging open in surprise. A chorus of giggles followed as she filled her girlfriends in on their conversation. Blushing red to the ears from the comment, Jeremy brought the pitcher back to the group, finding the men watching him as he approached. "What'd she say?" Kevin asked as Jeremy handed him the pitcher. "Nothing." Jeremy found a clean glass on the table held it out for Kevin to pour for him. "Come on, man!" Rocco, shouted, "She's hot! What did she ask you?" "She ask you out?" Tim shouted. "No!" Jeremy avoided their eyes and sipped his beer. The group of men stared at the table of ladies curiously. "Make a move, man!" Rocco nudged Jeremy. "Happy first day screw!" "You go." Jeremy nudged him back. "She told me she thought you were the best looking guy in the room." "Me?" Rocco pointed to his chest. "Yeah. So, go and introduce yourself." "You're not just saying that so you'll embarrass me, Jer. I mean, did she really say that, man?" Jeremy looked up at Rocco's expectant expression. "No, sorry, Rocky, I'm just teasing you. But, they are horny, so go and give it your best shot." "Are you daring me?" Rocco's brown eyes lit up impishly. A chorus of hooting began to encourage Rocco's deed. 21


"Yeah, I dare ya." Jeremy held out his hand. Rocco took it and shook it, finished his beer with a gulp, then ran both his hands over his closely cropped afro. "I'm there." He stood up, tucked in his shirt, and strutted over to the women like a gamecock. They all stared at him in awe. When he was invited to sit with them, Rocco peered back, gave a discreet thumbs-up, and became absorbed in the girl's conversation. "Never dare Rocky," Tim said, "he always takes it." "He's a charmer. They'll eat him up," Jeremy smiled as he spoke. When the other men became engrossed in a conversation, Kevin leaned on Jeremy's shoulder, asking, "What did she really say?" "Nothin'. Look, I'm just going to down this one, and go. I promised myself I wouldn't get drunk every night." "All right. I'm only going to stay for another hour or so too. I'm tired of falling asleep in class." "You want me to wait for you?" "Nah, I might get lucky." He laughed and turned around to see Rocco receiving a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Hey, isn't that the chick from art history class? The one with the halter top?" Jeremy twisted around to get a better look at her. "Oh, that's where I recognized her from. Her name is Kelly. Why don't you go and introduce yourself." "Kelly? She told you her name?" "Yeah. Just now. At the bar." "Then she likes you, man, not me." 22


"She doesn't like me. Will you go and sit with her?" "No, I can't, man." "I dare you." Kevin met his eyes instantly. "Don't dare me." "I dare you." "Fuck you, West!" Jeremy smiled wickedly. "Screw you, Moore." Hearing the word 'dare', Tim leaned closer. "What's it this time?" "This chicken won't go and talk to the object of his desire," Jeremy said, grinning. "He dared ya, man." Tim nodded at the seriousness of the situation. Lifting his beer, sucking it down to the bottom, Kevin slammed the empty glass on the table and stood, walking over to the group of giggling females. When he did, Jeremy noticed Kelly leaning back, looking past Kevin and right at him. Jeremy averted his eyes, setting his glass down. "Okay. One beer. I'm out of here, boys. I need my beauty sleep." "No. Going already?" Freddie whined. "One more." "Nah, I'm really beat." Jeremy stood, pushing in his chair, nodding goodbye to them. As Jeremy passed the table of women, Rocco shouted to him, "Hey, Jeremy! Going to bed so soon?" Avoiding all the curious feminine glances, Jeremy nodded. "Need my beauty sleep." "Is that your secret?" one of the women replied. "See! They're hot for ya, Jeremy!" Rocco made room at the table for him. 23


Jeremy noticed Kelly ogling him and felt badly for Kevin. "Goodnight, ladies." With a plethora of pleading going on behind his back, Jeremy sighed unhappily and found his way out of the pub. The stars were glowing in the dark velvety sky. Cast iron lamps lit his way to the dorm. Several drunken howls and guffaws carried on the still night air. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he lost himself in thought, and wished life didn't have to be so complicated. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Two The room smelled of plasticine and dust. Simply walking into it covered you in clay and plaster. Jeremy set his books down, away from the grime, near a back wall, where only dust and mold could attach to it. It felt oddly cool inside, as if all the solid cement walls had protected it from the sunny glass windowpanes in the outer rooms across the hall. All around him, like an army of miniature aliens, incomplete models of tortured souls in clay with wires protruding from their extended limbs and headless torsos were frozen in position. Great blocks of brown and gray clay wrapped in waxy paper stood waiting to be torn into and shaped into something resembling a human. He sat on a stool in front of a tripod-type easel as a wire aperture seemed to stretch out to greet him. "Hey, Jeremy." Spinning around to a voice close by, Jeremy found Kelly's hungry smile. "Hi." "Where you been all week? Kevin's been to the Hub every night." "Just too tired." When she sat down next to him Jeremy tried to think of an excuse to get up and relocate. "He's nice. Kevin. I like him." "Good. I'm happy for you, Kelly." "But, not as much as I like you." "Hello people!" Professor Foster stepped in and closed the door. "Everyone at an easel?" 25


Jeremy jerked his head up, feeling his skin light on fire at the sight of that man. "Good! Now forget the fricken' easels and come over here." Professor Foster waved for everyone to gather around him. Like he'd been called to prayer, Jeremy jumped up and hurried to get close to him. "Come along, come along..." Professor Foster kept waving until they were in a tight group. "Good. Now. This is sculpture class. So, anyone who thinks this is calculus, leave now." He paused for comic effect, then smiled. "I didn't think so. Okay. In here we will learn about the anatomy of the human body. I want all you boys and girls to be on your best behavior and treat any model we invite here with respect. Got it?" He appeared to wait for a reply, then repeated, "Got it?" A shouting roar of, "Got it!" returned. "Christ, I expect you to fall asleep in my art history class, not in this one!" Jeremy couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He loved him. Absolutely loved him. "Good. Now. This is your skeleton. It's up to you to flesh it out." As Professor Foster bent the wires of one of the tiny human shaped men, Jeremy completely lost himself on his teacher's face. Jeremy couldn't remember ever seeing a man so amazing looking before. Maybe it was that bold confidence, or perhaps the sense of humor and brilliance, but whatever it was, he was completely smitten. 26


"Grab a block. Come on, let's get this show on the road. We only have one semester, people!" Jeremy followed the line of students to get a brick of clay. Once he had the weighty object in his grasp, Jeremy decided to set up as close to his idol as possible, which meant he was opposite from where he had originally stood. He noticed Kelly move to her spot across the room and sighed with relief. "Look, we don't have a model today. I just want you to get a feel for the shit." Professor Foster walked inside the circle of easels. "How many of you have even touched a piece of plasticine before?" Jeremy looked around the ring at the sparse show of hands. "Jesus, people!" Professor Foster shouted. "How many of you made mud pies or played with your crap in your diaper?" Jeremy burst out laughing with the rest of the group as some cheeky individuals actually held up their hands. "You're pathetic!" Professor Foster continued, "What the hell did you take the damn class for? Extra credit? An easy A? You'll get neither! I do expect some quality work here. It's not a free ride elective for all you engineering and computer science geeks!" When Professor Foster spun around to look at each student, Jeremy felt his body freeze when they made eye contact. An affectionate wink aimed his way made Jeremy's skin prickle. "Right. Grab a lump and get your hands dirty!" Peeling back the paper, Jeremy clawed some clay off the block and made a ball out of it. 27


As the group squished and slapped the soft clay in their hands as if they were preparing for a snowball fight, Professor Foster walked around to investigate the shapes. When he stopped at Kelly he held hers up. "Christ! A little horny, young lady? She made a phallus!" As he displayed it for the class, Kelly giggled and turned beet red. "Anyone I know?" Professor Foster asked. "Yeah, maybe." When she caught Jeremy's eyes, he turned away, mortified. "Damn! Makes me feel very inadequate." Professor Foster handed it back to her. "Right. Make a man. This young lady's already got one body part, let's put him together. Do it just from your mind, sans a model. Get the feel of it and how it gets pressed into the aperture." Jeremy bit his lip in concentration and started tearing off slabs of clay, packing it on the wiry form. After a few minutes Jeremy sensed someone behind him. Instantly he broke out into a cold sweat. As Jeremy stepped back to get more clay, he bumped into Professor Foster. "Oh, sorry," Jeremy said. "It's all right. Nice work, uh..." "Jeremy." "Jeremy West. That's right. You're in my art history class. You ever done this before?" "No." "Really? It's very good for a first time. Just bulk up the torso a little more." Moving to allow the master to work, Jeremy watched as the professor pressed the clay into shape with so much confidence and skill it was astounding. Jeremy could almost 28


see it turn to flesh before his eyes. Moving closer on the pretext of watching him work, Jeremy inhaled deeply and caught Professor Foster's cologne or aftershave. They were almost the same height, but his idol had him by an inch, possibly tipping six foot one or two. As Professor Foster worked in silence, Jeremy could feel his own breathing deepen. Nervous the professor would notice, Jeremy had to force himself to calm down, hating the idea that this gorgeous man may hear him panting like a dog. Unable to concentrate on the object of clay and instead ogling the object of his desire, Jeremy began his dreamy gaze on Professor Foster's hair, which was brushing his broad shoulders and shaped nicely around his jaw line and forehead. This man was incredibly powerfully built, an obvious athlete, and his clothing fit tight and smooth around his bottom and long shapely legs. Gazing in awe at his dusty blue jeans, white t-shirt, and beige work boots, when something gold and glittering on the man's left ring finger caught his eye, Jeremy suddenly felt sick. Jeremy had no idea why he felt so crushed at the sight of a wedding band, but the rest of the session all Jeremy did was stick clay on the model haphazardly and without any thought. **** Peter could feel Jeremy's appraisal. It was as if his touch was massaging down his spine. In some dark place in his mind, Peter imagined them pressed against one another, Jeremy attached to him from behind. It sent a chill over his skin and a wicked smirk to his lips. 29


"Right. Keep up the good work. I expect great things from you, Jeremy. You have a natural talent." "Thanks." Professor Foster smiled at him warmly, moving to the next student in the circle. **** "I was wondering where you were." Kevin sat down at one of the scarred tables of the Hub with Jeremy. Jeremy watched Kevin look at the half empty pitcher of beer and then at his face. Kevin shook his head sadly. "I thought you weren't going to drink this semester. It's only four." "Yeah. Who cares?" "What happened? Did something happen?" Moving his weary eyes to his friend, Jeremy replied, "What do you do if someone you like is married?" "Move on, dude." Kevin laughed, then took the glass from Jeremy's hand and drank some of his beer. "Unless you just want to screw." Jeremy sat up. "Well, every chick has their price. I mean, if you're really interested, go for it. Everyone cheats nowadays. Why? Who is this chick?" "Just someone." Kevin poured more beer into the glass and seemed to own it now. "If one of these female students is already married in only their early twenties, I'd stay far, far away." "Why?" 30


"Because. It's like they latched on too quick. You know. They didn't even wait until after graduation? Who wants a chick that desperate?" Jeremy rubbed his face tiredly and grabbed his backpack from under the table. "Going back to the room?" "Yeah." "Did you eat anything yet?" "No." "Let's stop at the sub shop on the way." "Okay." When they walked outside, Kevin put his arm around Jeremy and said, "There are plenty more fish in the sea, dude." "Whatever." **** His hands behind his head as he lay in bed, the noise of someone walking in the above rooms, someone else knocking at a door in the hall, and Kevin's deep snoring breaths keeping him company in the night, Jeremy could not sleep. Over and over, like a scratched LP, his thoughts kept repeating the same question. How? How to get closer? How to get a touch? How to get him in bed? How? And though the answer was no, it's not going to happen, he moved his lips to himself and whispered, "I dare you." Nothing is impossible. Nothing. [Back to Table of Contents] 31


Chapter Three His head down, his attention miles away, Jeremy cut through the faculty parking lot on his way to biology class. A familiar voice woke him out of his dream. Stopping short, he stood completely still and focused in on the very public display of anger. "...Linda, for Christ's sake, we've discussed this before. Now, let me go. I'm late for my lecture hall." "Peter Foster, don't you walk away from me!" "What?" Peter threw his hands up in exasperation. "What do you want from me?" "I'm tired of you treating me as if I were a child!" "You keep acting like one, I'll keep treating you like one." "You did this to your first wife! That's why you split up, isn't it?" "Leave Jane out of this. This is between you and me." "Oh, my friends tried to warn me about you. I just was too stupid to listen." "Me? Warn you about me? What the hell did I do? You dragged me to some stupid Reno chapel when I was almost unconscious with booze, got us hitched and now it's my fault? And you say they should have warned you about me? Oh, this is rich." "You knew what was going on. Don't make it sound as if you were unaware."

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"I knew I was drunk, that's what I knew. If I was in my right mind I never would have even considered marrying you. You're too young and immature, Linda." "Too young? Not too young to have a fling with though, was I? So don't go throwing age in my face. You're the one who's turning forty. I'm not young, you're old!" "Keep your damn voice down. The entire campus doesn't need to know I married an idiot." Jeremy quickly turned away and tried not to appear he was eavesdropping. He moved a few feet back from them and then crouched down to tie his shoe. **** "Divorce me! See if I care! I want kids! You don't! I want to move to Florida, you don't!" "I will! Fine! If that's what you want, fine. I should have had it annulled a year ago. Stupid me for trying to make a go of it even though it was wrong from the first day. You do nothing but nag me and drive me crazy. You know what? Just leave me alone. All right? You go your way, and I'll go mine." Peter grabbed his valise and stormed off. He was sick and tired of this game, and wished he could break away and find someone he could relate to. His choice in women sucked. When he thought of his brother Dorian's alternative lifestyle, he envied him. Dorian always seemed happy. Under his breath, Peter mumbled, "What the hell am I afraid of? He's certainly not any worse off." **** 33


Jeremy raised his head to see the little troll Professor Foster had married storm off in a different direction from him on campus after she set the alarm on a Jeep Cherokee. Slowly Jeremy stood up, slung his backpack over his shoulder and looked toward where his professor had gone. Quickening his pace, Jeremy was almost directly behind Professor Foster as he headed to the art history lecture hall. Watching his teacher's body language change from a furious to a more relaxed gate, it fascinated Jeremy that this man had so much to offer and ended up with so little in return. Racking his brains, trying to think of something to say to stop him, Jeremy panicked. He wanted to ask his opinion on a painter, a unique movement in art, anything to sound intelligent and interesting. By the time they had entered the echoing lecture hall it was too late. Keeping up with the professor's stride, Jeremy was almost attached to his back as they walked down the wide sloping stairs to the front of the room. It wasn't until the professor was nearing the podium that he turned to look over his shoulder at Jeremy. Jeremy gave him his warmest smile and received one back in kind. **** "Jeremy..." Peter was delighted to find him so close. "Professor." "You ready for your nap? I mean, my lecture?" he teased. "I never sleep in your class, sir." 34


"I'll take that as a compliment." Peter found his paperwork to review, then realized Jeremy was still staring at him as he took his seat in front of the class. Christ, you are fantastic, Peter thought as he stared back at those large light blue eyes, then became distracted by someone asking him a question. **** "Hey." Kevin hurried down the stairs to collapse in the seat next to Jeremy, catching his breath. "Hey." Jeremy noticed Kelly sitting down beside Kevin. "Hi, Jeremy," she sang dreamily. "Hi, Kelly." Jeremy turned away from her and looked back up at his teacher, who, as usual, had a circle of females surrounding him. Jeremy thought Professor Foster appeared more impatient than normal, and Jeremy knew why. "Okay, okay, ladies, take your seats and let's begin. I'm sure all of your questions will be addressed in the body of the lecture." Professor Foster waved them away tiredly and waited until they found their places. Jeremy smiled at him adoringly. When Professor Foster noticed, it seemed to take him off guard for a moment, then the professor focused his attention back on the room. "Okay, people! Those who read the chapter come and sit in this section, those who didn't, go sit in the hall." Laughter erupted again and Jeremy caught Kevin's eye and shook his head.

35


"Right, then I'll assume you have all read the assignment, and no matter whom I call on you will answer correctly, right? Good. Let's begin..." Every question, Jeremy's hand flew up. Finally, the professor addressed him by name. "Yes, Mr. West, let's hear it." "Well, there's some debate on the topic." "Is there?" "Well, yes. Some people thought Michelangelo may have had a thing for boys ... and that's why some of his male sculptures are so sensuous. I mean, does that look like a dying man to you? Or one in the throes of orgasm?" As a few chuckles escaped the group, Professor Foster turned to look at the slide of the Dying Slave that was on an enormous screen suspended behind him. "I see your point, Jeremy. But I guess it all depends on how familiar you are with what men look like when they are coming, eh?" When Kevin burst out laughing, Jeremy grinned up at his teacher and caught his wink, then just blushed and laughed with the crowd. Though he should have been dying from embarrassment, he wasn't; instead, Jeremy felt as if he and Professor Foster had just sent some coded messages to each other. A signal. A mysterious handshake that lets the coconspirator know they are of the same ilk. Unconsciously Jeremy moved his hand to his jeans, quickly touching his cock as it grew hard. Keeping his eye on that gorgeous man, Jeremy noticed the professor's eyes flicker to Jeremy's crotch before moving on to the next slide. 36


As the class ended and Professor Foster was once again engulfed by females, Jeremy checked his watch and knew he had some time before his next class. "I'm off to calculus." Kevin packed up his books, and then to Jeremy's surprise, Kevin held Kelly's hand. "See ya, Jeremy. You eating in or out later?" "Uh..." Jeremy caught Kelly's smirking grin and then found her gaze wander over his body rudely. "Whatever. I've got to get going." Kevin hurried out of the row to the stairs. "Bye, Jeremy." "Bye, Kelly." Jeremy waited for them to leave, packing his things slowly, hoping to catch the professor alone. Waiting, watching as Professor Foster patiently answered even the most idiotic question, Jeremy finally noticed him edging his way out of the room. Just as he turned to leave the giggling girls behind, Jeremy hurried after him until they had passed into the hall. "Uh ... Professor?" "Hmmm?" Jeremy knew the poor man was preoccupied. "You have time for a cup of coffee?" Pausing, looking at his watch, then checking his schedule, Professor Foster said, "Yeah, why not. I was just going to have one at the teacher's lounge. Where to?" "The Starbucks?" "All right." Instantly Jeremy felt as if he was glowing. They left the building, walking briskly across campus. "What's on your mind, Jeremy?" "What? On my mind?" 37


"Yes. I thought perhaps you had something concerning the lessons to ask me." "Oh ... uh..." Jeremy thanked him as he opened the door to the coffee shop, pretending to forget the question as he read the menu on the wall behind the counter. After they both ordered, Jeremy offered to pay. They carried their iced lattes to a counter that faced a glass window with a view out to the street. Once they had settled down, Jeremy felt those green eyes on his profile. "I ... uh..." "Something about class?" The professor took a swallow of the latte. "Uh ... class ... uh..." When Professor Foster started laughing, Jeremy felt like a fool and finally met his eyes. "I didn't have a question about class." "Oh." "I ... I..." Before he could get out his sentence, a female student walked over to say hello to the stunning professor. Professor Foster smiled at her politely and then as gently as he could told her he was busy. She left without hurt feelings and Jeremy was once again the victim of that curious stare. "I'm sorry, go on. You were saying?" "It's ... uh..." "A personal problem? Is it something like that, Jeremy?" "Uh, no ... uh, maybe." When that warm hand found his thigh and rested on it, Jeremy jerked his head up to those intense green eyes. "I'm listening. I know I'm just your art teacher, Jeremy, but you can tell me anything. Strictly in confidence." 38


Jeremy was certain his leg was melting under that hand. The contact made him so hard he was about to die of humiliation. "Maybe you can't talk about it here?" Professor Foster whispered, "Is it too crowded? Do you want to go somewhere private?" "Oh, yes..." he hissed softly. "Sorry?" Professor Foster leaned closer. "Yes? More private?" "Yes," Jeremy said with conviction. "Come on, then." The professor grabbed his things and nodded to the door. Jeremy looked behind him to see if anyone thought it was odd, them leaving that way. No one appeared to notice. "There's a nice quiet spot I know. I go there sometimes to catch up on my reading." A wry smile on Jeremy's lips, he happily kept up with his professor's stride. "Behind the library. You know there's a marble bench that's dedicated to Beatrice Foster? No relation I assure you. And I've no idea who she was." Chewing on his lip, trying to decide what to say when they finally arrived at Beatrice Foster's bench, Jeremy knew he was already in too deep to back out now. "There. Isn't it great? In the spring all the cherry trees are blooming and you get coated with pink petals. I bring my easel here then. The color is amazing. Sit down." Jeremy dropped his things to the grass and took a seat, turning toward the man as he sat next to him. Jeremy 39


finished his latte, placing the plastic cup near him on the ground. "Uh ... I ... I know this is going to sound stupid..." "Don't worry. Even if it is stupid, your secret is safe with me." Raising his eyes to see Professor Foster's kind smile, Jeremy blushed again slightly. "What if ... what if I know this guy, right..." "Uh huh." "I know this guy who's gay and he's really shy and afraid to come out." "Yes." "Well, he's got all these macho friends, see, and he's going to either get teased to death or even worse, deserted by them." "Jeremy..." When Professor Foster's warm hand cupped his cheek, Jeremy's throat closed up. He instantly connected to his professor's gaze and felt like fainting. "Don't ever feel afraid to be yourself." "No! It's not me! It's some guy I know!" "Jeremy..." he purred softly. "Tell 'this guy' to be himself. That the good friends he has will still be there, and the ones who either tease him, or desert him, are worthless." "Oh, God..." Jeremy clenched his teeth. This hunk was close enough to kiss. When Professor Foster's hand dug into Jeremy's hair lovingly, Jeremy thought he would cream his shorts. "It's the new millennium, Jeremy, no one needs to be afraid on a college campus any longer. We've even got a gay 40


activity committee and support group. Haven't you seen the fliers all over?" Once Professor Foster's hand stopped touching him and lowered to the stone bench, Jeremy had a tremendous urge to grasp it and bring it to his lips to kiss. "Yes. I know. I mean, this guy knows. He just doesn't want to be associated with that kind of group. He wants to be seen just as who he is." "It's hard, babe. It's really hard. But, tell your friend not to worry. When he's ready to come out, he will." When Professor Foster checked his watch, Jeremy deflated. "I have another class. We can talk more later on." "Okay." "Wait. Here." The professor found a piece of scrap paper and a pen. "Here's my home number and my office number. I don't have a cell phone, sorry. I hate those damn things. Anyway, call me anytime. Or, ask your troubled friend to stop by. I'll be there for him." "You ... you'll talk to him at home?" "Sure, Jeremy. Anytime." He handed him the paper. "Do you live close by?" "Yes. Only five minutes away. Should I give you my address to give to him?" "Yes!" Jeremy handed him back the paper. As he scribbled it down, Professor Foster said, "Tell him not to be shy. Tell him it's okay." Holding that vital piece of paper to his chest, Jeremy nodded, completely tongue-tied. "See ya later, Jeremy. I'm glad we had this talk." 41


Nodding as the handsome man waved and walked away, Jeremy looked down at the paper in absolute astonishment. "Son of a bitch!" Walking through the campus with his chin held high, Jeremy's head was spinning. He now had a way to get his professor at home. It was too good to be true. As he moved on to his next class, he couldn't help but feel intense pleasure at a man whose kindness and generosity was about to be put to a test. **** Jeremy sat on his bed next to the phone with the scrap of paper in his hand. Kevin and Kelly were out at the Hub and he was in agony wondering if it was too soon to call. Jeremy didn't want the professor to think he was a pest. A debate raged in his mind and he felt split in two with the decision. When the phone rang, he jumped out of skin and answered it. "Jeremy? It's your mother." "Oh. Hi, Mom." "How's school going?" "Fine." "Are you studying hard?" "Yes." He set the paper down next to the phone. "Good. We paid good money for your education, I don't want you drinking it away and becoming an alcoholic like your father." Jeremy cringed. "Jeremy?" "I'm still here." 42


"The reason I'm calling is I wondered if you could come home this weekend." "Why?" "It's your cousin Sarah's wedding and we've all been invited. It's just over on Long Island." "I don't know." "I want you to come. When was the last time you saw your grandparents and the extended family? You will come, Jeremy," she demanded. "Then why did you ask? You should just give out orders." "Don't be flippant. So, you want us to get you a ride or will you take the bus?" "I hate the bus. It takes hours. Can't Dad come to get me?" "Yes, all right. I'll send your father. Saturday morning at ten. Okay?" "Okay, Mom." "Is your suit in decent shape?" "I don't know. It's in the hall closet. Can you check it out?" "Okay. I'll see you sometime Saturday afternoon." "Okay. Bye, Mom." He hung up and sighed. "Crap." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Four When Jeremy arrived in sculpture class there was a strange woman in a robe, standing in the corner. Kelly waved at him so Jeremy felt obligated to wave back. As she approached he looked down at the clay-spattered floor, trying to avoid her eyes. "Hey." "Hey," he replied. "You coming to the concert this weekend?" "Can't. I've got my cousin's wedding to go to." "Bummer. I was going to set you up with Crystal." "Don't set me up." "Why not?" "Okay, people! Find an easel!" Professor Foster roared. Jeremy walked away from her and stood where he had the previous week. Jeremy stared at his heartthrob but didn't get any eye contact in return. "We have a real live model today, my lovelies, so no playing around. She's getting good money to be here in the buff and we need to appreciate it." He nodded to her. "Okay, dear, whenever you're ready." As she took off her robe, Jeremy cringed. When he raised his eyes, he noticed Professor Foster watching him. "Just any pose that's comfortable for you," Professor Foster told her, then addressed the class. "Get to work! Flesh it in!" 44


Jeremy grabbed some clay and started building it up on the bare wires. The professor moved to a blackboard and grabbed a piece of chalk. "Look at the obvious lines." He drew an X on the board. "Shoulder to hip. Shoulder to hip. See it? Make that gesture drawing out of clay. Come on, we don't have all day!" Jeremy picked up his pace and smashed handfuls of gooey plasticine against the form, avoiding looking at the unattractive, unfit, naked woman at all cost. As body heat and a luscious scent mingled with his own behind him, Jeremy felt his skin prickle. "What the hell are you doing?" "Hmm?" "Are you even looking at her?" "Yes." "Where's the gesture? You see the shoulders slanting?" Jeremy leaned around his work and looked at her. "Yes." "Show me." Jeremy took some clay and started shaping it. "Better." When a pat was felt on his bottom, Jeremy twisted around in time to watch his professor move on to the next student. Grinding his teeth, wanting to feel his hand on him again, Jeremy fought with himself to build up the courage he needed to call him. He just had to call him. During a break for the model, Jeremy made his way closer to the professor as he worked on one of the student's sculptures. Several others were out in the halls or talking together in class. 45


"There, that's it. You see?" Professor Foster asked the girl. She just nodded at him, a dreamy look on her face, which Jeremy resented. Once the professor noticed him standing there, Jeremy smiled at him. He smiled back, then nodded for Jeremy to move away from the few who were hanging around them. When they had some privacy the professor asked, "You okay, Jeremy? Or should I ask, is your friend okay?" "It's me. Not a friend." "No kidding," he whispered, then smiled sweetly. "Uh, can I call you later tonight? I mean, it's Friday night and I just thought—" "You are welcome to call." "Oh. I just thought your wife—" "You don't worry about it. If you need to talk to me, call." "What time?" "Anytime." "No. I mean, so I don't catch you busy, or eating dinner." Mechanically, Professor Foster checked his watch. "Seven?" "Seven." "Okay, people! Back to work! Louise, back to posing! Come on, chop-chop!" He clapped his hands. Jeremy walked over to his easel, a contented smile on his face. Seven, he repeated blissfully in his mind. Seven. **** A bag of fast food in his fist, Jeremy opened his dorm room and shouted out, "Kevin?" When blessed silence returned, he 46


hadn't realized how grateful he would be to Kelly after all. Setting his things down by the door, Jeremy sat on his bed, moved the clock so he could read the display, eating his burger and fries quickly, washing it down with a milkshake. The meal consumed and the wrappers tossed out, he washed his hands and was about to pick up the phone when someone knocked on the door. "Damn!" Considering ignoring it, he paused and moved to it slowly. Through the wood he could hear Rocco's voice, "I don't know. Maybe he's in the damn bathroom." Another knock followed. "He ain't here. Maybe he's already at the Hub?" As their voices faded away, Jeremy exhaled and moved back to the bedroom and his phone. He unfolded the scrap of paper and dialed as his heart pounded in his chest. It rang four times, five, and he was losing hope. On the sixth ring a breathless man picked up. "Hello?" "Is this a bad time?" "No. Hold on." The phone was cupped and Jeremy could hear Professor Foster shouting and a female yelling back. In muffled syllables he made out the words, "I don't care who you fuck! Just get out!" "Oh, I will fuck someone! Don't you worry, Peter!" "Whoever he is, he's welcome to you!" "Don't wait up!" "Don't come home!" After a pause, Jeremy heard Professor Foster sigh. "You okay?" Jeremy asked. 47


"Yes. Sorry, Jeremy. I can talk now." "Is everything all right with Mrs. Foster?" "It will be shortly. So ... what can I do for you?" "I can call another time if you aren't into listening to me vent tonight. I don't mind." "No ... no, it's all right, Jeremy. It's all quiet and calm in here at the moment and I've got time for you. Tell me what's on your mind." Lying back, cuddling the phone, Jeremy stared at the ceiling and tried to gather his thoughts. "Ah, the last time we talked," the professor began, "you were telling me you wanted to come out, but you were afraid." "Yes. I've never been comfortable with the idea." "Do your parents know?" "No." "Have you confided in anyone?" "No." "Just me?" "Yes." "Right. Well, it's a start. What can I do for you?" "I just want to talk to someone about my feelings." "I'm all ears. Go on, Jeremy. I'm listening." "I ... I get really crazy when I see a man." "That's natural, Jeremy." "Not every guy. Just certain ones." "Uh huh."

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"Like, there's this special look to guys I really like. And when I see a man who looks like that, I get crazy and can't stop thinking about him." "These are all normal healthy feelings, Jeremy. It's just the same for heterosexuals. They all have likes and dislikes and can't get certain people out of their mind. It's all very normal." "But ... what do you do when you really like someone ... and you don't know if they like you? Or if they even have it in them to touch a man? You know?" "Oh, yes. I see. Well, that could be hard. That's why I recommended the gay organizations, Jeremy. There you will meet men who are gay. There's no question." "I suppose. But there is one person in particular." "Is there? Well, how do you know if you don't try?" "That's the hard part. I don't know." "Life is full of disappointments, Jeremy. But sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and take that chance." "Have you done that?" "What?" "Taken chances?" Jeremy absently coiled the cord around his finger, picturing this man perfectly in his mind. "Yes. A few." "And?" "Had some successes and some failures, I suppose." "What was one of your successes?" "Uh ... well, I showed at the Museum of Modern art once." "Yeah?" 49


"Yes. And some of my work was hanging in a gallery in Italy for a time." "Cool!" "It is cool." "What about on a personal level?" Jeremy whispered shyly. After a soft chuckle, Professor Foster replied, "Not so proud of my successes there." "No?" "No. I'm on marriage number two, and this one's not working out very well." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Thanks, Jeremy. What can you do? I guess my choices in that respect suck." "What do you like in a partner?" "Unfortunately, I don't know. That's my downfall. I feel as if I'm still searching. I married a twenty-five-year old woman and I'm paying the price. Christ, she's more like my daughter than a wife." "No kidding?" "I shouldn't be telling you all this. You called to talk about your problems, not mine." "I don't mind. Honest. Uh ... can we see each other?" "See each other?" "Yes. Are you just hanging out? You want to have a beer?" "You want to come here? To my house?" "Not if you don't want me to. I just thought we could both use some company. I'm just sitting around my dorm room feeling like a loser." "Poor guy. Sure. Come by. You have the address, right?" 50


"Yeah. You want me to pick up a six pack?" "How old are you?" "Twenty-two. I'm legal. Don't worry." "Yes, pick up some beer. That would be great. Did you eat?" "I had some fast food. I'm good." "Okay, see you within the hour." "Bye." Jeremy jumped to his feet and raced to the shower, stripping as he went. As quickly as he could, he showered, shaved, and jumped into clean clothing. Grabbing his wallet and keys, he dashed out of the door and jogged to the corner grocer. **** His heart beating wildly in his chest, Jeremy checked the house number on the door, ringing the bell. The door swung open and that gorgeous smile was there to greet him. "Come in, Jeremy." Jeremy entered and looked around. The room was loaded with artwork and had a large screen television on one wall and a loaded bookcase on the other. "I'll take that." Jeremy was relieved of the beer and invited to sit down. Dropping down on a large leather cream-colored sofa, Jeremy kept still until the professor returned with two mugs of beer. "Good choice." "Thanks. I like dark beer. You'd think it would taste stronger but it doesn't." 51


"Exactly. Looks can be deceiving, can't they, Jeremy? You sure you're not hungry? I can get us some snacks." "No. I'm okay. Maybe later." Jeremy looked around the room again. "All your artwork?" "No. Not all. Some of it is Linda's." "Which are hers?" "The tacky circus animal oil paintings. I can't stomach the things. Christ, look at them." Jeremy laughed and agreed. "It really is bad." "I know. Don't tell her. She'll have a fit." "I like that one." "Which?" Setting his beer down on the coffee table, Jeremy walked closer to the painting. "This one. You really did that?" "Yes. Check the signature. I assure you it's mine." "Oh, man ... that is really fantastic. Do you do male models often?" "Half and half." "Wow." "You want it?" Jeremy spun around in shock. "Are you kidding me?" "Yes and no. I've got tons of them. That's one of my older ones and my agent doesn't want it in the upcoming show. I don't know what to do with them all." "Sell it." "Okay. How much will you give me for it?" Seeing his playful smirk, Jeremy walked back to where he was sitting and looked down at him. "What do you want for it?" 52


"I doubt you can afford my prices." Professor Foster smiled as he sipped his beer. "Maybe we can barter." Jeremy sat next to him, then lifted his beer to his lips. "Oh? You have something I want?" "Maybe." As if he suddenly realized where this was heading, the professor set his beer down and turned to him. "I'm not serious, Jeremy." "I am." "Look..." Jeremy set his mug down and scooted closer. The professor sat back. "I didn't invite you here for that reason." "I know." "I'm your teacher." "I know!" Jeremy laughed at him. "I'm thirty-four!" "I know!" Jeremy shouted in hilarity, then said, "Huh? I thought you were thirty-nine." "Thirty-nine? No. Why did you think that?" Struggling to remember the argument between Professor Foster and his wife in the faculty parking lot, Jeremy shook his head. "Never mind." "Don't add years on me. I'm old enough." "You're not old. You are the best looking man I have ever seen." "Oh, cut it out. You want an 'A'? You got it." He lifted his beer once again to sip. 53


"What's your first name?" "Peter." "Can I call you Peter?" "Sure. What's your last name?" "West." "Right." He nodded, "I knew that." "You know that guy I was telling you about over the phone?" "I already figured it out, Jeremy." He laughed, gulping down his beer. "You make me insane." Jeremy rubbed his hard-on as if stressing the obvious. "I saw you do that in class. Do you have a woodie the whole time?" Jeremy could tell he was amused, so he shifted closer to Peter. "Yes." "No kidding? I give you a hard-on in art history? That's unbelievable. I thought I didn't excite anything more than a dust mote in that class." When he set down his empty beer glass, Jeremy placed his hand on Peter's denim thigh. "What time is your wife expected back?" "Hopefully never. But, seriously, not for a long while." "You want to mess around?" Rubbing his forehead, Peter sighed, "Oh, my pretty boy ... what have I gotten myself into?" "You think I'm pretty?" Peter peeked through his hand at him. "Oh, yes." "Yeah? For real?" 54


"Yeah! For real!" Peter answered back, mimicking him. "Shit. You have any idea how hard I am right now?" Jeremy squirmed in the seat. "I can imagine." Peter peeked down at his lap. "You ever been with a guy?" "I'll never tell." He smiled. "I haven't had anything substantial yet. You know. Just kid stuff." Jeremy ran his hand higher on that tight thigh. "You mind me touching your leg?" "I'm still pondering that decision." "You dare me?" "Dare you? Dare you to do what?" "Kiss you?" "Why should I dare you? I have no doubt if I said yes, you will." "Say yes." "This is what got me into my first marriage. Saying yes to a pretty young thing." "I don't want to marry you!" Jeremy laughed. "No? Oh, that's disappointing." Spotting his handsome smile, Jeremy didn't know how to react. "Come here, gorgeous..." When Peter reached for his face, Jeremy rushed for his lips. At the first touch, Jeremy whimpered in agony. Wriggling his way on top of him, Jeremy managed to get Peter to lie back on the couch, then straddled Peter's hips and pressed his cock into Peter's crotch. Peter's tongue was driving him insane. With both his hands, Jeremy had cupped Peter's face, 55


kissing him with more passion than he had ever thought he contained. Hammering his hips against that hard tight body under him, Jeremy was about to combust and couldn't even imagine what it would feel like if they were both naked. He felt Peter slowing them down and leaned up to see his expression. Gasping to catch his breath, Jeremy blinked his eyes in awe as he heard Peter whisper, "Come to bed." Scrambling to his feet, Jeremy took Peter's extended hand and followed him. A dark room was lit up by a hand-blown glass lamp that threw warm golden hues over the wall. While Peter turned down the bed, Jeremy yanked off all his clothing. Once Peter had finished his task, he turned to look at Jeremy who was completely naked. "Oh, my, oh, my..." Peter hissed through his teeth. "Look at you." Jeremy tried not to be self-conscious. Instead of covering up, he stood tall and waited. "Wow." Peter shook his head in admiration as he unbuttoned his shirt. "You are one hot fucker." "Am I? Good," Jeremy replied anxiously, clenching his fists, wanting to attack him. Once those briefs slid down Peter's muscular legs, Jeremy lunged at him, shoving him down on the springy mattress. The minute Jeremy felt hot skin under his, Jeremy went wild, sucking at Peter's mouth, his jaw, his neck, running his hands over Peter's sides, his arms, his chest. "What do you want, Jeremy? What do you want, huh?" Peter breathed near his ear. "Take it ... take it, babe." Another whimper escaped Jeremy's throat. "Oh, Christ, I'm dreaming." 56


"No, babe. You're not. You want my cock? You want my ass? Tell me what you want." "First your cock, then your ass." "Okay, babe." As Peter lay back on the bed and spread his legs, Jeremy sat up to stare down at him. Jeremy was shaking he was so excited. Very slowly, he lowered down and took Peter's rock hard cock into his mouth. As he did he could hear Peter gasp with pleasure. Closing his eyes, Jeremy sucked on him in delirium, squirming his hips against the sheets, rubbing his cock against Peter's leg. A pulsing throb passed his lips. As Jeremy sucked harder, he could taste the salty sweetness. Hearing Peter grunting in euphoria was worth everything Jeremy owned. Once the sensations subsided in his lover, and Peter panted to catch his breath, Jeremy sat back, whispering, "Now I want your ass." Peter reached into his nightstand drawer and threw a condom and some lubrication on the bed. Taking the rubber, Jeremy unwrapped it, slid it on, squeezing out the lubrication into his hand. When Peter turned over, Jeremy lovingly coated Peter's ass and massaged his buttocks as if it were pure gold. Kneeling between his thighs, Jeremy asked, "Okay?" "More than okay, babe. Go for it." "Oh, God ... oh, God..." Jeremy panted in excitement. Pushing the tip of his cock in, Jeremy stopped himself to savor the penetration, then entered him completely. "Ah! Oh, Christ, if I move I'll come." Jeremy heard Peter's stifled chuckle. Yearning more, Jeremy grabbed Peter's thighs and 57


began fucking him with a nice slow rhythm. Instantly Jeremy lit up and came, jamming his hips against Peter harder. After he stilled himself, Jeremy pulled out slowly and dropped down alongside him, pulled off the rubber, dropping it over the side of the bed. Reaching out slowly, Peter cupped Jeremy's face and brought him over for a kiss. Jeremy wrapped around him like a snake and ate hungrily at his mouth, whispering, "I love you, I love you," in a low chanting song. It may have been his first time making love to a man, but it was better than he ever anticipated. **** A strange sensation passing over him, Jeremy opened his eyes and noticed eerie shadowy forms on the ceiling and an amber colored halo around them. Tilting over the fluffy pillow, he found Peter's masculine contented smile under a mane of shaggy hair. "Was I out?" "Like a light," Peter replied. "How long did I sleep?" "Just about a half hour." "Shit. I can't believe I nodded off." He rubbed his face and pushed his hair back from his eyes. At a dull thudding sound, Jeremy noticed Peter perk up. "What?" Jeremy asked in concern. "Shit." Peter checked the clock. It was only just before nine. "Are we screwed?" "Get dressed! Go!" 58


A horrible sense of dread filled Jeremy. With his heart in his throat, Jeremy found his briefs and jeans and yanked them on. Just as he located his shirt, Peter rushed out of the room, dressed and buttoning his own shirt. Hopping to get his socks and shoes on, Jeremy tucked his shirt in and ran his hand back through his hair to tame it. He noticed the spent rubber and wrapper, and grabbed it quickly off the floor, stuffing it into his pocket, then he tried to make the bed. Stopping what he was doing, Jeremy heard the shouting coming from the living room. "What are you doing home?" "I live here! Don't tell me when I can come and go!" Jeremy held his breath and stood still behind the closed door. "Whose beer is that? Who's here?" "One of my students. He was just having trouble with the lecture." "Where the hell is he?" "He just took a bathroom break." Jeremy looked back at the bathroom connected to the bedroom and wondered if he should go in there and flush the toilet. "Is there any wine left?" "Yes. Go pour yourself a glass and I'll see what's keeping him." A second later Peter opened the door and tilted his head for him to step out. "You best be going." "Right." Jeremy followed him and then looked around nervously to see if he left anything in the living room. Just 59


before he made it out the door, the little troll materialized with a stemmed glass in her hand. Her stare unnerved Jeremy horribly. "See you in class, professor." "Right. See ya." Peter nodded and opened the front door. Before Jeremy stepped outside, he caught her suspicious glare. **** Peter watched Jeremy walk down his front pathway, then closed the door and sighed. When he turned around, Linda was already splayed out on the couch with the television remote control in her hand. "I thought you were going to be out all night? That's your late night? Nine o'clock?" "Screw you," she sneered. "Are your friends finding your presence as intolerable as I do? They kick you out of their homes?" "Shut up! I hate you, Peter!" "The feeling is mutual. Go find yourself an apartment and get the hell out of my life." "Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" She flipped through the channels mindlessly. "Yes. What are you getting out of this relationship other than free room and board? Can we end this ridiculous charade?" "When I'm good and ready. Now shut up, American Idol is on."

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He winced in disgust at her choice of programs, heading to the bedroom to make sure the bed was straightened up and nothing incriminating was left behind. **** Not turning to look back at the house as he left, Jeremy stuffed his hands into his pocket, found the soggy rubber and cringed. Pulling it out of his pocket, he dropped it in a trash can, closing the lid and wiping his hands off on his thighs. The crickets and night birds were making their musical debut before the summer wound down to a cold and withering fall and winter. He hung his head and tried to think past the interruption of that horrid woman: to the sexual bout previous to it. "Why did I fall asleep!" he moaned. "Christ, I missed a half hour of staring at him. Touching him. I'm such an idiot." Cursing himself for that mishap, and promising himself it would never happen again, Jeremy forced himself to stop brooding and relive the intense pleasure and the scent and taste of a man he couldn't manage to get out of his mind. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Five "Did you get lucky last night?" "Hmm?" "You came in and didn't say anything to me. Was it because Kelly was with me? You just showered and went right to sleep." Rubbing his face and yawning, Jeremy sat up in bed and checked the time. "Shit! My dad's coming to pick me up. I have to get ready." He jumped out of bed and dragged his jeans on, then pulled a t-shirt over his head and left the room to wash up. A minute later Jeremy rushed back into the bedroom to grab his wallet. "Yeah. Kelly said you had a wedding to go to." Kevin sat up against the headboard stretching his back, the blankets covering him from the waist down. "I do. He's supposed to be here at ten. Shit." "Ya never answered my question, ya dork!" "What question?" "Did ya get laid?" "No!" he shouted. "You sure?" Trying to remember everything he needed to take with him, Jeremy spun around and found some clean socks in a drawer. "Hey! I'm not getting a straight answer from you." "What!" Jeremy whined, sitting down on his bed to finish getting his shoes on. 62


"Look!" "Look at what?" "That, you dork." Finally, Jeremy looked to where Kevin was pointing. A wrapper from the rubber he used last night had fallen out of his pocket and was lying on the floor by his bed where he had dumped his jeans last night. "Crap." Jeremy swooped down on it and threw it out, then combed his hair in the dresser mirror. "I take that as a yes?" Kevin climbed out of bed. Moving past him to the living area, Jeremy grabbed his backpack and emptied it, then tried to think if he had any assignments to finish before Monday. "Most guys brag about it, Jeremy. What's the deal? Is she some dog?" Tilting his head up to see him, Jeremy found Kevin, standing in only his briefs, with his hand in them scratching. "She's not a dog." "Who is she?" "You going to quit playing with yourself?" "Why, does it turn you on?" Kevin laughed. Jeremy stood, looking around in confusion, then went back to the bedroom get some cash, his wristwatch and his keys. When he looked up, Kevin was leaning against the doorway, watching him, arms crossed over his bare chest. "She that married chick you were talking about?" "Maybe." Shaking his head sadly, Kevin sighed, "It's a mistake, man. Stay away from married ones. You want Kelly to set you 63


up with Crystal? She's really hot, Jeremy. She's got great tits." There was a knock at their door. "Shit, that's my dad." Jeremy ran to it and swung it open. "Jeremy." "Hi, Dad. Come in. I'm ready." He shouldered his backpack and looked around again. "Hello, Mr. West." "Hello, Kevin." "Ready, Dad." "See ya Monday, Jeremy?" Kevin asked. "Most likely Sunday night." "Okay. Have a good time. Nice seeing you again, Mr. West." "You too, Kevin." Jeremy shut the door and walked down the dimly lit hallway with his dad. "You all right, son?" "Yeah, I'm fine, Dad. I just forgot to set the alarm and I felt a little rushed." "How was your first week back in class?" Jeremy squint his eyes at the glare as they stepped outside the dorm. "Okay. I've got some great professors." "Good. Your grade point average wasn't very impressive last year, Jeremy. I'd hoped you would do better than a 3.5." "Sorry, Dad. I guess I just let the partying get carried away. I promised myself I wouldn't do that this year." Jeremy waited until the car alarm chirped on the Mercedes. After his 64


father had climbed into the driver's seat, his father answered his ringing cell phone. "Yes. Yes, I just picked him up and we are on our way home. Pauline, please stop nagging me. No. Traffic was fine. We'll be there shortly. Now let me get on my way." He closed the flip phone, dropping it on the seat next to him. Glancing at his dad, seeing the grim line of his father's mouth, Jeremy said nothing and fastened his seatbelt for the long, silent ride home. **** "Hello, Jeremy, dear." "Hi, Mom." He waited as she kissed his cheek. "Your suit is hanging up in your room. Go say hello to your sister. Wendell, is there enough gas in the car for the trip?" "Yes. What time do we have to be there?" "Three." "Fine." Wendell walked away from her and down the hall. "Where are you going? Don't drink anything, please. I need you to drive us there." Cringing, Jeremy watched his father disappear into the study, no doubt for that much-needed glass of sherry. "Pam! Pamela!" Pauline shouted, "Your brother is home!" "Big deal!" came the reply from the upper floor. "He's only been gone a week!" "I was here all summer, Mom, don't make it sound like I've been gone for months." Jeremy dropped his backpack down to the floor. 65


"What are you doing? Bring that up to your room. Don't leave it here. Wendell? Wendell? Did you remember to wrap that gift I told you about?" She hurried to the study. Once she left, Jeremy rubbed his aching head, considering finding the aspirin bottle. Wearily he climbed the stairs and passed a bedroom where his sister was simultaneously painting her nails and talking on the phone. He continued to his own room and noticed the suit hanging from the top of the door. He dropped his gear on the floor and then collapsed on the bed, his hands behind his head, staring at nothing. **** The hot water battered Jeremy's face. He rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and wrung it out. Squeezing a blob of liquid soap on his hand, he leaned against the tiled wall and closed his eyes, thinking of that fantastic specimen of manhood as he jerked off. "How long does a fricken' shower take? Come on, Jeremy!" "Shut up! I'll be out in a minute, Pam! Christ, give me a chance!" "You've been in there an hour!" "Bullshit! I've been in here ten minutes! Now, get away from the fucking door and let me get ready!" He listened, hearing her angry expletives, and then closed his eyes again. Straddling his legs, his cock protruding from his body like a stiff mast, he imagined sucking Peter's cock, then fucking him hard. He came, swallowing his gasps to quiet them. He rinsed the cum off his leg and turned off the water, finding a towel and wrapping it around his waist. Another round of angry 66


banging was heard on the door. "Jesus, Pam! What the hell's the matter with you?" "I need to get in there! All my fucking shit is in this bathroom!" Jeremy swung open the door and glared at her. "Let me shave! For Christ's sake. Give me five fucking minutes." "You don't need a shave." Pam shoved past him. "The floor's all wet!" she complained. Grinding his teeth in rage, he shouted, "Mom! Mom!" "What?" A flushed Pauline appeared, her hair in hot rollers. "Tell Pam to get out until I've finished!" "Pamela!" Pauline chided, "Let him finish! Use the other bathroom." "I should have gone in there first," Pam whined. "You were on the phone." Jeremy shoved her to the door. "Where's your father? I don't have time for this." Pauline hurried away. "Now, get lost." Jeremy pushed his sister out, locking the door. As she ranted on the opposite side, he shaved his face and bit his lip in frustration. **** Jeremy could smell the liquor on his father's breath from the back seat. Gazing out at the passing traffic on the turnpike, he wished he had a way to tune them out. His sister had her iPod connected to her ears as she texted her friends on her mobile phone. Jeremy could hear some metallic sound spilling out from the earplugs. Her foot was moving to the 67


beat in her slender black pumps and her painted nails ran demonically over the tiny numbers on the keypad. "...try not to talk about Howard's job. Thelma is mortified anyone will know he was laid off. And no one is supposed to know about Martin's operation, Harriet told me about that in confidence..." Jeremy knew his father wished he had earplugs at the moment as well. His mother was giving him a nonstop narrative on what not to say, and who not to look at. Knowing his father would be inebriated by the time the appetizers were served, Jeremy could only wonder how he would keep track of all her instructions. "Oh, and Jeremy, make sure you and your sister spend some time with your grandparents. You never see them anymore. It wasn't like when you were little and we spent most of our weekends and summers with them. They're getting older and you both need to sit and chat with them ... Jeremy?" "Okay, Mom." Jeremy looked down at himself; his legs were sprawled, he was wearing his best suit, his shoes polished to a shine, his tie bent awkwardly as he sat. He pushed it to straighten it, then nudged on his cock to get more comfortable. When he heard a noise, he looked up to see his sister's disgusted expression. "What?" he asked her. She rolled her eyes in revulsion and looked back out the window. The entire drive, right up to the church parking lot, his mother was shouting instructions to his father that were so confusing his father had turned bright red and the vein in his 68


temple was pulsing visibly. When they finally parked, Jeremy sprung out of the back seat as if he'd been released from a cramped cage. "Get the gift from out of the trunk," Pauline ordered. "Jeremy, help your father." Seeing his father already completely drained and henpecked to within an inch of his life, Jeremy met him at the back of the car and waited for him to open the trunk. Jeremy took the wrapped box out and tried to catch his father's eye. When he did, he smiled weakly at him and received nothing back but a look of exhaustion. With a running commentary behind them, complete with directions, 'turn left, right here, left ... oh, stop here, put the gift on that table, follow that man, stand up straight...' Jeremy was about to run with his father to the nearest bottle. Pam, still connected to her iPod and mobile phone, chewing gum like it was a rubber band, stood in the back of the church and stared dully at the illuminated display on the tiny flip phone. Pauline waved them to a pew and they dropped down while she socialized like she had suddenly morphed into a butterfly and was not really a harpy in disguise. The moment he could, Jeremy leaned on his father's shoulder and asked, "You okay?" "Hmm? Yeah. I'm okay." "What a nag Mom is. How do you stand her?" With saggy eyelids, Wendell met his son's sympathetic gaze. "She's your mother." 69


Said like a chastising, Jeremy gave up commiserating and sat back to stare at the flowers and ribbons that decorated the church. In what felt like an hour later, but may have been only half that long, organ music played, the couple exchanged vows, and their large family was extended once again. Jeremy found his grandparents in the crowd as the massive group milled around and decided on how to get to the banquet hall. He kissed his grandmother on the cheek and shook his grandfather's hand. "You okay, Grandpa?" "I'm fine, Jeremy. How are your studies going?" "Okay." "Have you met a nice girl yet?" "No, Grandpa." "What are you waiting for? How old are you?" "Hi, Grandpa!" Pam wrapped around the old man for a hug. As his grandparents gushed over how pretty his little sister was, Jeremy managed to get away. Pauline was shouting about the gift. "Wendell, stick it back in the car. They want it at the banquet hall. I don't know what the difference is ... where's Jeremy? Jeremy!" Jeremy waved to her tiredly. "Get your sister. We're ready to drive to the hall." He nodded and spotted her, still snuggling with her grandparents. Ignoring them and his mother's orders, Jeremy walked outside and found his father opening the trunk and dropping the wrapped box back into it. Just as Jeremy sank 70


once again into the leather back seat, his sister and mother were approaching like two loudmouthed locomotives. Rubbing his forehead wearily, Jeremy wished he were back at school and in the dorm. "...what did you think, Wendell? I thought it was a nice ceremony. He seems like a nice boy. You know he's only twenty? Jeremy! Scott's only twenty! He's done his degree and is already working in a law firm. You see? You see what taking time off did, Jeremy? Look how behind you are. You should be out of college and married by now. You had to take time to 'find yourself'. What nonsense. You wasted a good few years. Wasted it. Your sister is going straight to college after graduation. She already knows what she wants. Not like you..." Jeremy looked out of the window as his father followed the long line of cars behind the limousine. "...never can grow up, can you, Jeremy? You're just like a little boy. Did you finally decide on a major? Or are you still floundering?" "Computer engineering." "Engineering? Engineering? What does that mean? Wendell, what does that mean? Why can't he become a lawyer? Or a dentist like you? Engineering? Does that mean road works? What does that mean...? You're falling behind them! Wendell, close the gap! Oh, you'll miss that light now..." Jeremy laid his head back on the top of the seat and closed his eyes. 71


"Sick! Stop touching yourself! Mom, Jeremy keeps touching himself!" "What?" He twisted in the seat to her. "I'm not touching myself. I'm just resting my hands on my lap. Jesus, Pam." "Jeremy! That's disgusting behavior," Pauline shouted. "Mom, I wasn't touching myself. I was just relaxing. I can't help it if when I fold my hands on my lap they rest on my fucking crotch." "Watch your language, Jeremy!" Pauline shouted. "Turn here! Turn here! Park!" "God, why did I come home?" Jeremy moaned, rubbing his eyes in agony. His father placed the car in park and opened his door. Jeremy climbed out and crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance. Immediately Pam raced over to some cousins and deserted them. Jeremy walked behind his father, who was carrying the wrapped box again, looking a little worse for wear. A band was already playing some cheesy Barry Manilow song. Tables were set up around a large dance floor where young toddlers jumped and rolled, squealing loudly. Once his father had set the gift on the assigned table, Jeremy trailed behind him knowing he would find the bar. The man had booze-radar. Some of his uncles were already drinking cocktails, laughing in loud hyena-like barks. Waiting as his father ordered a martini, he looked over the selection and pointed to a bottled beer. "You want a glass?" 72


"Nah." Jeremy took the bottle and sucked at it as if it were an antidote to the venom he was bit with on the ride there. "Jeremy!" He spun around to see one of his first cousins. "Hey, Mike." "How's life? You still in college?" "Yeah. I took off some time, so I'm behind a couple of years." "How's your sister? Still a shameless flirt?" "Christ, she'll screw anything. I don't even know if cousins are exempt." They both looked for her in the crowd and didn't see her. "Got some weed. Wanna smoke it?" "Shit, yeah. Mom did a number on my brain on the way here." He finished the beer quickly, set the bottle on a table, then followed Mike's tilt of the head to a men's room beyond the length of the hall. They looked around the vacant corridor and slipped in. Jeremy climbed on a toilet seat in the last stall and cracked open a high window, then they stood together in the stall and sucked it down, blowing the puffs outside. "Ya get laid yet? Or are you still a virgin?" Mike laughed, narrowing his eyes from the smoke that swirled around his face. "I'm fucking twenty-two. Of course I've gotten laid." Jeremy shook his head in amazement. "Twenty-two? Jeez, man, you were only seventeen the last time we saw each other." 73


"You're a dork." Jeremy took one last hit. "Here. I'm most likely driving us home. Dad's going on a binge." Mike took the joint and squeezed it out. "He still like a drink?" "Yeah. He fell off the wagon years ago. I can't blame the guy. My mother is such a witch." "Dentists ... they have a high suicide rate." "Just my luck. He'll hang himself and I'll be stuck with her." He paused, then asked, "Did someone walk in here?" They looked out of the stall door and found a little old man at the urinal. Mike walked out quietly with Jeremy behind him. Once they were in the hall, Jeremy asked, "Did you know him?" "Fuck no. I don't know anyone here but you," Mike replied. "Shut up. You know all our aunts and uncles. You really are a dork." "Are they serving yet? I'm starved." They walked down the hall to the banquet room and found everyone seated with waiters already serving. "Shit," Jeremy breathed in panic and raced in, looking for his family as Mike did the same. "Where were you?" Pauline scolded as he sat down. "I met Mike." "You stink like weed," Pam sneered. "Shut up!" Jeremy hissed and checked to see if his parents had heard her. When someone appeared behind him he looked up and found his salad being set down. He met the eyes of the waiter and they connected for a moment. When the man placed the food in front of the person next to him, 74


Jeremy tried to interpret that gaze and knew it must be the high he was feeling making his judgment cloudy. Grabbing a roll, he spread some butter on it and then began to eat ravenously. "Pig." "Shut up, Pam." "Drug addict." "I said shut up! Will you ever leave me alone?" "What are you two arguing about?" "Nothing, Mom." Jeremy turned his attention to his salad. When his mother looked away, Jeremy leaned near to his sister's ear and warned, "You open your big mouth and say anything and I'll tell her about Randy." She gasped in surprise and glared at him. "Yes, I know. I saw you, you slut. So don't start." When she bit her lip in a huff, he grinned happily. His food devoured and dish wiped clean with another roll, Jeremy was startled as an arm came from over his shoulder and removed his empty plate. He twisted back and noticed the same handsome waiter staring at him. "Some wine?" was whispered into his ear seductively. Clearing his throat, Jeremy replied, "Yes, please." "Red or white?" "Uh ... either." A long black sleeve-covered arm poured red wine into his glass. "Thank you," Jeremy whispered. "My pleasure," the waiter breathed sensually. "Will you be having the chicken or steak?" 75


"Uh ... steak ... no, chicken ... the chicken." Jeremy forced himself to look at him. A broad grin was on the waiter's face. "I will get you the chicken. I highly recommend it." "Oh ... good." Jeremy's cheeks were on fire. He only hoped his sister was ignoring their exchange. His mother was cackling nonstop about something he couldn't make out and didn't care to. His father was slouching over his third martini. Pamela was making lascivious eye contact with a different waiter across from them. Rubbing his face in anguish, Jeremy thought he was going insane and knew he should never had smoked the weed. As he agonized over his dysfunctional family a warm body pressed up against the back of his chair. He froze. A plate of chicken Kiev hovered over the tablecloth in front of him. "Your meal, sir." "Yes. Thanks." "I hope you enjoy it." "Thanks ... thanks..." Jeremy waited until he left, then looked up to see the handsome waiter still smiling back at him. Behind him the band played some elevator style music and the children ignored their meals and ran around the wooden dance floor like crazed maniacs. He ate it, enjoying it, and tuned out everyone around him. Someone was coming around with a camera and taking photos of all the guests. His mother shouted at him to smile. After the blinding flash, his plate was once again removed and that masculine voice leaned over to whisper seductively, "Chocolate mousse? Or cheesecake?" 76


Looking over his shoulder, he found a selection of each on a plate held on either side of this handsome man's dick. As he gazed at each sumptuous dessert, and the bulge of the waiter's hard cock under his black trousers visible between the dessert dishes, Jeremy choked and couldn't answer. "Can't decide? I know, it's hard, very, very hard." Oh, Christ, is it the weed? Am I imagining this? Jeremy rubbed his eyes again. "Try the cheesecake. I preferred it." The waiter set it down in front of him. "The honey sauce is hot and sticky," he breathed in his ear, then left. Looking over at Pam to see if she had any inkling what was going on, he found her ogling some other robust waiter who was most definitely giving her a 'fuck-me' grin. And he knew she would. Before her dessert plate was even cleared up, Pam was standing and making her excuses to go. Ignoring their mother's protests, Pam vanished out of sight. "Did you like the cake?" Jeremy looked up at the waiter shyly. "Yes. Thanks." "You want another piece? Or perhaps I can get you the mousse?" "I'm stuffed. Thanks." "Very good, sir. You just let me know if there's anything else you require. I am at your service." "No. Nothing more. Thanks." Jeremy put his napkin on the table and guzzled a glass of water, trying to sober up.

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"Dance with me. Your father's too drunk." Pauline's boney hand gripped him like a talon and dragged him to the dance floor. Jeremy stumbled to get his footing, feeling her wrap around him and lead. "I don't want to dance, Mom." "Just one. You know, Scott has a sister, Sara. She's almost your age." "No thanks." "Why not? Why won't you even meet the girl?" "Let me finish college first, Mom. I can't be involved in a relationship right now." "Where's your sister?" About to say, fucking a waiter, instead he said, "I don't know." "You'll have to drive home. Don't drink too much." "I'm not. I've already switched to water." "You're a good boy. You can be sensible when it counts." "Thanks, Mom." "May I cut in?" Jeremy backed off as one of his father's brothers wrapped his mother up and danced her away. Looking for a likely place to hang out and be left alone, Jeremy noticed his waiter standing by a metal wheelie cart loaded with dirty dishes, staring at him with unbridled lust. "Jesus. How the hell does he even know I'm gay?" he mumbled under his breath just as a hand clasped his. He blinked in surprise and found a pretty girl standing there. She asked, "Are you Jeremy West?" "Yes." 78


"I'm Sara, Scott's sister. Your mother said you wanted to dance with me." Grinding his jaw in annoyance, Jeremy politely accepted, avoiding physical contact as much as possible while she rambled on about her schooling, science major, and hobbies as if she were writing a personals ad. "I hope they do the Alley Cat. I love that one." "I don't. I think it's stupid." "No! It's fun! Say you'll do it with me!" "No thanks," he replied, smiling wryly. "You're incredibly good-looking, Jeremy. But I suppose you've heard that your whole life." "Not really. Thanks. You're pretty, too." "I wasn't fishing for a compliment, but thank you." "Okay." The song ended and he let go of her hand and stepped back. "Uh ... I'm just going to sit down." "Oh?" she answered, obviously waiting for an invitation to join him. "Uh, on my own. I really need to see my grandparents and stuff, you know." Smiling to try and soothe her disappointed frown, he backed away and made his escape. Finding his father alone at the moment, he leaned on the wall next to him and didn't say anything. Jeremy knew when he was loaded just by the appearance of his flushed, bloated face. After a moment Wendell said to him, "You're driving home, son." "I know, Dad." "Have you had any booze?" 79


"Just a sip of wine at dinner and one beer. I'm on water now." "Good boy. Are you having a good time?" "No. Are you?" "Not really. Your mother seems to be." Jeremy looked up to see his mother gyrating wildly on the dance floor, outdoing the bride and groom for attention. "Go mingle. Don't just stand here like a wallflower with me." "I don't mind, Dad. I'm really just marking time until we leave." "Go. Go dance. There are so many pretty girls here. Go." Shoved away, exiled, Jeremy sighed and stuck his hands into his pockets, leaving the reception room to go and stare out of a plate glass window in the hall at the coming dusk. After a long moment of silent contemplation he felt movement behind him. "Grow bored of the party?" a familiar voice asked. "Look ... I'm not gay." Jeremy twisted around to confront the waiter. "No one said you are." "But you've been coming on to me all night. I don't get it." The waiter shrugged. "I am gay. So, when I see a fantastic male I try. What can I say? Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose." "Look, I appreciate it. I mean, I'm flattered, but—" He heard a high-pitched giggle and found his sister coming out of a door down the corridor. She spun around and kissed her own waiter passionately. "Unreal," Jeremy breathed in awe. 80


The waiter he was with turned to look where he was staring, smiling the waiter said, "It seems as if one of my coworkers won." "Yeah, um, I don't want to be seen like this. I mean, it looks funny." "I understand. Better luck next time." The man touched his face gently and left. Pamela's juvenile titter filled the hollow space. Shaking his head at her, Jeremy waited until she noticed him. Her demeanor changed instantly to a snarl. "What are you looking at?" "A slut." "Shut up. You wish you had such a good sex life, you celibate freak!" "Celibate?" He pressed his hand to his chest. "Me?" She spun around to her suitor. "Later, Miguel, my stupid brother is here." Miguel kissed her hand and waved to her. When Pam walked over to Jeremy, he cringed, "You stink like sex. I hope you at least used a rubber." "I don't stink, you do! I didn't need a rubber. I only gave him a blow job." "That still makes you a slut." "Who cares? I liked it, he liked it, everyone's happy. You'd be less uptight and wouldn't need to play with yourself so much if you let a girl suck it once in a while." "You know, you look passive and sweet, but you're really fucking crude." 81


"Now you know the secret to my success with guys!" She spun around and laughed, "Gonna get more booze. I know you're driving and can't! Nyah nyah!" Leaning back against the wall, Jeremy rubbed his face and asked, "Why is my life so strange?" **** Behind the wheel of the Mercedes with his mother as copilot while his father slept it off in the back seat and his sister hid under her iPod and text messages, Jeremy closed out his mother's ramblings until even she was tired of talking. It was nearing midnight and the road seemed long and dark. After just over an hour he pulled into the driveway and shut off the engine. Pauline had a flower centerpiece on her lap, which she had somehow pilfered from one of the tables, and climbed out of the car, shouting back at him, "Wake your father, Jeremy." With the female half of the family already in the house, Jeremy sighed and shook his father gently. "Dad? Wake up. We're home." Bloodshot eyes opened to thin slits. "Come on, Dad. Time to go to bed." Jeremy tugged on his father's arm and managed to help him out of the back seat. As Wendell leaned on him heavily, Jeremy escorted him into the house and allowed his father to go on his own from there. Tired, Jeremy climbed the stairs and began taking off his suit. Once he was in his briefs, he washed up quickly and then sat on his bed and looked at the time. He wanted so much to call Peter, but the hour, the wife, and the evidence on his parents' 82


phone bill held him back. Dropping finally against the mattress, he fell into a deep sleep. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Six Hearing the noise of his mother and sister in the kitchen making breakfast and chatting, Jeremy crept to a second bedroom and stealthily looked around the hall. He rushed in, sat on the frilly bedspread and picked up the pink cell phone. Unfolding the scrap paper, he dialed quickly and waited for it to connect. A woman's voice answered. He hung up. A few seconds later the tiny mobile phone rang. "Shit." He shut it down, placing it on his sister's nightstand. Moving away from it, staring at it, he hoped that twit Linda would give up and not keep calling it. He left the room and jogged down the stairs to refuel. "Morning, Jeremy," his mother said, looking hung over. "You want eggs?" "Yes, please." Jeremy poured a cup of coffee for himself. "Dad still in bed?" "Yes. Leave your father alone." His mother scrambled some eggs and dumped them into a pan where they sizzled. "What are your plans?" "I was thinking about heading back to campus. I have a lot of work to do for Monday. Ah, can I get a lift?" "I'm not driving you all the way up there right now." "What about Dad?" "No. Don't ask your father." Jeremy looked at his last resort and found her sneer of superiority. "Sis?" 84


"Why should I drive all the way up there? Christ, it'll take me hours!" "Come on. Just do me a favor." "No!" "Jeremy," Pauline said as she put his eggs on a plate, "Wait until later and your father will take you. Do your homework here." "Come on, Pam, please?" Jeremy begged. "No!" She twisted away and headed up the stairs. Furious with her, Jeremy ran after her, grabbing her arm, hissing quietly, "I swear you owe me. First, Randy the fucking gardener, and now 'Miguel' the waiter." "Don't even think of blackmailing me!" "Come on, Pam. Mom would kill you if she knew what a slut you were." "I'll tell them something about you! I'll say you're gay!" His expression dropped. "That's not even remotely funny." She shrugged. "Tough. So, get another ride there. I'm not interested." "Jeremy! Your breakfast is getting cold!" Scuffing tiredly back to the table, he ate the eggs and brooded. "Your father needs some time to sober up. He'll get you back early this evening. Okay?" "Whatever..." he mumbled. When his mother left the room, Jeremy finished his food and set his plate in the sink. Dragging himself back up the stairs to get to his reading assignments, he passed his sister's 85


room and found her on her cell phone, yelling, "I did not call you, you stupid bitch! How did you get my number?" He cringed and kept moving to his room, shutting the door. **** By one PM Jeremy's stomach began complaining again and his eyes were closing from the boring chapter he was struggling to absorb. Wearily clomping down the carpeted stairs, he found his father sitting in the kitchen in his robe and slippers, sipping coffee. "Dad..." A grunting sound returned. "Uh, you feel up to getting me back to campus? I have some research to do and I need to go to the library." "I'm not really up to it, Jeremy. Ask your mother." Pulling a chair over to sit with him, Jeremy leaned across the table to peer into his ailing face. "I need a car of my own, Dad. I can't keep relying on you and Mom to chauffeur me around." "You don't need one while you're on campus. What do you need a car for?" "So I can drive back and forth without you guys helping me. I need to get back now and no one will drive me," Jeremy growled, trying to keep his voice calm. "Pauline!" Wendell shouted, then cringed as if his own volume pained him. "Pauline!" From a distant room they heard her answer. "Your son needs a ride to school," he shouted back. 86


A moment later she entered the kitchen looking as ratty as her husband. "I told him you would take him later." "I'm not going to be able to take him. Not today." "Why do you drink so much? Wendell, you need to get back to AA! I can't take anymore of this!" "Don't turn this into an argument about me," he growled. Jeremy stood slowly as the argument escalated. "If you would drink less you wouldn't be in this kind of shape," Pauline railed. "Look at you! How will you see patients tomorrow?" "I'll be fine by tomorrow. Don't start on me, Pauline!" Slinking out behind them, Jeremy packed his things and checked his cash supply. Seeing it was low, he headed to his parents' bedroom and opened one of their bureau drawers. In a white bank envelope were layers of bills; he removed a fifty and tucked the rest back under the clothing where it was hidden. Checking around his room quickly, he flipped off the light and headed down the stairs. His parents were still at each other's throats. Jeremy opened the front door and then yelled back, "I'm taking the bus! See ya!" Closing it behind him, he started walking into town and then heard his mother shouting his name. He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "I'll take you! Let me change!" "Thank fuck," he breathed and waited for her, leaning on the car. Fifteen minutes later she emerged, her purse in her hand and a kerchief on her hair, mumbling nasty remarks about 87


her husband under her breath. Jeremy climbed in the passenger seat and tossed his pack in the back seat. "...your father ... your father ... I don't know what to do with him, Jeremy. The drinking is killing us both. I cannot get him back to rehab; I've tried everything." Biting his lip, he stared out of the window as they passed his old high school and the park where he used to get high between classes. "...one day he won't be able to do that job. You'll see. He'll be drunk and hurt someone and they'll sue for malpractice. Oh, Jeremy, it's coming. I see it coming." Sliding down so he was slouching and his knees were touching the glove compartment, Jeremy closed his eyes as his mother continued her tirade, indifferent to whether he was listening or not. **** "Where should I park? Where should I drop you off?" "This is fine, Mom." He sat up and reached over the seat for his bag. "You need money, Jeremy?" "I took fifty out of your money drawer." "Is that enough?" "Just put my allowance into my account. It's easier if I take it out of the cash machine as I need it." "Okay. I'll remember to deposit some in there. If I don't, call me and remind me." "Thanks, Mom. And thanks for the ride." "Be good, sweetheart." 88


He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "See ya, Mom." As he walked to the dorm, he waved to her, feeling sorry she had such a long drive back on her own. When he came through the door, he heard a female's startled voice and stopped short. "Shit ... Kevin?" "Jeremy? You're back early, aren't you?" "You want me to come back in a few?" He could hear them struggling to get dressed, or under the covers, or something. "It's okay, Jeremy," Kelly sang sweetly. "You want to join us?" "Kelly!" Kevin snarled, "Join us?" "See ya!" Jeremy closed the door and headed to the library feeling very sorry for his roommate, and wondering if he even knew his latest screw was still trying to get her hands in his roommate's shorts. On his way he passed the art building and peered into the glass windows of the lecture hall. Vacant, dim, shadowy, it was like someone had vacuumed the education and life out of it. "Peter, Peter, Peter," he whistled through his teeth. "Be here. Be here on campus to get away from your wife." Jeremy entered the echoing halls and searched every corner. When he finally made it to the sculpture room he stopped short. There were no windows to peek into. He tried the door and found it unlocked. Slowly Jeremy opened it and immediately spotted Peter looking back at the door curiously. "Jeremy?" Before Jeremy spoke, he pushed the door wide to reveal the entire room to make certain no one was having a private lesson. 89


"What are you doing here?" Peter wiped his hands on a cloth and flicked his head to get the hair out of his eyes. "Looking for you." "I was just getting a figure done for the class. I thought it would be easier if you guys could see it finished, you know. Uh, what did you need?" Closing the door behind him, Jeremy's eyes danced over Peter's incredible body. A sleeveless black t-shirt, black jeans, work boots, with an apron covering it all; Jeremy was salivating. Moving toward him as if stalking prey, Jeremy kept a lock on Peter's gaze as he avoided the obstacle course of easels and clay figures around him. "Jeremy..." Peter was smiling, shaking his head knowingly at him. "What are you doing?" When he was standing close, close enough to touch his clay-covered apron, Jeremy pretended to wipe a nonexistent smudge off his nose. "You have something there." "Oh?" Peter looked down helplessly at his dirty hands. "Let me." Jeremy licked the tip of his finger and wiped it, then ran his hand over his cheek to the back of his head through his hair, drawing him close to kiss. After allowing a peck, Peter whispered, "Not here. Someone can come in and easily see us." "So?" "So?" Peter mimicked, then laughed and stepped back, making some space between them. "I'm your married teacher, Jeremy. It does matter." "Christ, I've done nothing but think of you since we made love. Oh, Peter, I'm going crazy to have you again." 90


"That's very flattering, I assure you." He set his wooden tools down and took off his apron, hanging it on a hook by the door. "Look at those legs," Jeremy groaned as he admired them from behind. "I want you." "Look, Jeremy ... I know it was a very pleasant experience, but—" Closing the gap between them, Jeremy leaned against him, pressing Peter back on the door which would prevent someone opening it. Wrapping his hands around Peter's waist, Jeremy rubbed his cock against that tight faded denimcovered zipper. "I want you in me. I want you to screw me next time." "...next time ... you see, Jeremy, that may be a problem..." Jeremy began at his neck, nibbling the skin there, licking his way to his ear, his respiration and pulse turning into a rocket launch. "Someone called my house this morning and Linda answered. When she rung it back, some woman was on the other end..." With hungry hands, Jeremy dragged Peter's shirt out from his jeans and pushed it up over his chest muscles. Pausing to look first, Jeremy then sucked at one of Peter's hard nipples, biting it gently between his teeth. "...this chick, this chick at the other end started swearing at Linda and giving her a hard time. Linda immediately accused me of cheating on her ... Ah! Jeremy, are you listening to me?" 91


"No..." Jeremy moved lower and licked his way to Peter's tight abdomen. With both his hands, Jeremy slid down to Peter's hips, nuzzling into the thin line of pubic hair under his belly button, letting out a long low groan of pleasure. "She thinks I'm cheating on her. You have any idea what this woman will be like now? Christ, she'll cut my dick off when I'm sleeping." Sitting back once more to stare at Peter's body, Jeremy was eye-level with his bulging crotch. When Jeremy began unbuttoning his jeans, Peter caught his hands and stopped him. "Babe ... look at me." Noting the seriousness of Peter's tone, Jeremy didn't relinquish his grasp on the denim, but tilted his head up to see his expression. "It's made my life more hellish than before. Though she goes out on me with regularity, she doesn't want me sleeping with another woman. She gets very crazy." "I'm not a woman." "But she doesn't know that. She just gets this idea in her head and goes nuts." "Leave her." "It's my damn house. I want her to leave me, but that's easier said than done." Jeremy sighed, looked back at Peter's crotch again. Nudging Peter's dusty hands back, Jeremy popped open the button and then unzipped the jeans. Peter's cock had softened slightly with the aggravating debate. Revealing it from its bent position, Jeremy exposed that wonderful organ, put it into his mouth, and closed his eyes. He felt Peter 92


straddle his legs and relax against the closed door behind him. When Jeremy opened his eyes for a peek, he found Peter holding out his hands. Perhaps he wanted to caress him but felt his fingers were too dirty. Peter's face had lost its anger as if he had forgotten the annoying conversation and was lavishing in the carnal desires. Knowing he'd captured him again, Jeremy went back to his sucking and yanked those tight jeans lower on his hips so he could run his hands over the smooth skin there. A gasping sound of Peter's impending orgasm reached Jeremy's ears. Jeremy deepened his sucking and gripped the base tightly, pulling on it, urging it to release its load. A masculine grunting echoed around the cluttered room. Jeremy sat back and lapped at him gently, then looked up at his face. Peter's chest rose and fell rapidly, his shirt was still halfway pulled up his chest. Peter's long hair covered his forehead and right eye as he recuperated. Michelangelo's Dying Slave come to life. Rising to stand upright, Jeremy kept his left hand cupped over Peter's set of hot genitals and with his right, Jeremy ran his fingers behind Peter's neck, urging him to his lips. As if the clay dust on his hands suddenly meant nothing, Peter gripped Jeremy's jaw and devoured his mouth with so much passion, Jeremy felt his knees weaken. After a long moment of kissing, Jeremy gasped for breath and whispered frantically, "God, I love you ... I love you so much..." Wrapping his arms around him tightly, Peter sighed, "Oh, babe, what am I going to do? Hmm? What the fuck am I going to do?" 93


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Chapter Seven Jeremy opened the door slowly. "Kevin?" "Yeah?" "You alone?" "Yes." Pushing the door open and entering the room, Jeremy set his bag down just as Kevin met him at the doorway to the bedroom. "How was the wedding?" Kevin asked. "Sucked." Jeremy surveyed the room curiously. It was in the same messy state as usual, but there was a lingering scent of feminine perfume. "Is that why you came back early?" Kevin moved to the mini-refrigerator and removed a beer, cracked it open and took a swig. "Yeah." Jeremy dropped down on the tatty sofa in the living room as Kevin joined him, propping their feet on the low scarred coffee table in front of them. "Dad always has too much to drink. It's the same sad story." "He an alcy?" "Yeah, pretty much. I drove home from the reception. Both he and my mom were smashed." Jeremy ran his hand through his hair and caught the pleasant aroma of Peter on it. Restraining the urge to snuffle at it like a mongrel near a fire hydrant, Jeremy stretched his back and clasped his hands behind his head.

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"Bummer, dude. My parents don't really drink. They can be assholes, but they're not into alcohol or anything. What's your dad do again?" "Dentist." "That's right." Kevin drank more beer and then offered Jeremy a sip. Jeremy shook his head no. "So, you and Kelly, you in some kind of relationship now?" Jeremy watched as Kevin's expression darkened noticeably. "No?" "She's a fuck, that's all." "Oh? I thought you two were getting along well." Jeremy brought his arms down and rested them on his lap, remembering his sister's comment on his contact with his crotch. "We get along okay. But, she's just a slut, Jeremy. I mean, you heard what she said when you came in earlier. Join us? What the fuck's up with that? I don't get her, man. She's always looking around, you know?" "You want a committed relationship?" "No!" "Then why do you give a shit?" "AIDS! Herpes! STDs! Hello!" "Use protection." Jeremy laughed at him. "What good will that do if I get a fucking herpes mouth sore." "Ew ... don't go out with her, Kevin. I'm feeling sick just thinking about her." "Yeah, exactly. But, she's fucking pretty and great in the sack. I don't know what the hell to do." 96


Jeremy heard a noise outside their door and paused to see if someone was going to knock. The noise passed soon after. He yawned and covered his mouth, then caught Peter's masculine scent again and rubbed his face to keep sniffing it. "I suppose that's one good reason to go with a married woman, eh, Jeremy?" Leaning over to see Kevin's smirk, Jeremy didn't smile back. "Maybe. It has other complications though." "Who is she?" he asked, setting his beer down on the table in front of him. "I have to be discreet, Kevin. I can't say." "Is it someone from one of our classes?" "Kevin, come on ... I don't want to talk about it." "It's a teacher!" he shouted, pointing. "You're making it with one of the faculty!" Sickened by how perceptive the guy was, Jeremy stood and made a move toward the bathroom. "I'm gonna shower. You need the bathroom?" "No. Go ahead. But, I'm right, aren't I?" "Just figure out what you're going to do with slut-Kelly, and don't you worry about my life. All right?" As he closed the door to the bathroom, Jeremy caught the outrageously wicked glint in Kevin's eye. Bedding a professor had its status, after all. Knowing it would rinse off the enticing scent of his lover, Jeremy sighed sadly but knew he had to get clean. Stripping, testing the water for heat, Jeremy stepped in and soaped up, resting his head back on the tiles, closing his eyes, and 97


holding himself up to masturbate. He imagined he was still on his knees in front of Peter, his incredible cock in his mouth. **** Slouched over his desk, the tiny lamp making a ring of white light on his textbook, Jeremy finished a chapter and wrote the notes into his book, then looked over the list of other assignments he had to finish and their deadlines. Turning over his shoulder, he spotted Kevin on the couch, his feet once again propped up on the coffee table, an open civil engineering tome on his lap. "I can't read anymore. My head is starting to ache and my eyes are closing," Jeremy said. Kevin bent the corner of the page he was reading and slapped the book closed as well. "Want to go to the Hub for a beer and some food?" Jeremy checked his watch. "Yeah, they're still open on a Sunday night till ten, right?" "What time is it?" "Just after eight." "Good." Kevin hopped up and found his shoes, then his wallet. Doing the same, Jeremy pocketed the key and waited at the door for him. Kevin nodded he was ready and they stepped out into the hall, making their way into the evening's fresh air and cool breeze. "What time is your first class tomorrow?" Kevin asked, rubbing his hand through his hair as if waking himself up after the coma of heavy reading. 98


"Uh, eight? Since we had last Monday off for Labor Day, this is my first Monday. So, I have to check. I can't remember a fucking thing anymore." As they grew nearer to the Hub the number of students roaming in the area increased. Jeremy caught Kevin waving hello to some unknown male who was leaving as they entered the dimly lit room. "Anyone we know here?" Jeremy asked, seeing Kevin scanning the occupants. "No. I don't see anyone. Most of them go home for the weekends. Home-cooked meals and Mom to do the wash, you know what I mean?" "Yeah, I do." Jeremy smiled. "Not poor bastards like us." "I hate going back. It's too much of a rush," Kevin replied, gesturing to an empty table. After they sat down, Jeremy picked up the menu that was wedged between condiment bottles in the center of the table. A waitress quickly came over and they were rushed to decide. "Just a burger and fries, oh, and a beer." Kevin set the menu back in its spot. "I'll have the same, but no beer, how about a coke?" When she nodded, Jeremy set his menu next to Kevin's and rubbed his thumb over some water spots on the knife that was laid out on a napkin in front of him. "You going to tell me about this teacher?" "Kevin," Jeremy sighed tiredly. "Give it up." "Christ, Jeremy, if I was screwing a member of the faculty, I'd be bragging about it to everyone." "Maybe that's why you're not." 99


Blinking his eyes at him before grinning, Kevin accused, "Then you are!" "Look, my brain is fried from too much math and science. Okay? Can you lay off me for a minute? Shit, you're worse than my mother." "Okay, but I still don't get it." "It's about confidentiality, you dork. So, just respect it and leave me alone." "Wow ... calm down, man. Okay? I get it." Jeremy felt guilty. Good roommates were hard to find, and he and Kevin got along great together. "Look, Kevin, really, I didn't mean to snap. It's just very complicated and I already have a heavy workload. I'm not trying to be an ass or anything." "It's all right, Jeremy. But can't you tell me at least something to satisfy my curiosity? One measly little tidbit?" Sighing, then laughing at Kevin's determination, Jeremy leaned over the table and asked, "If I give you one 'tidbit' will you lay off?" "Uh ... yes. One." "Okay. But no questions about identity." "Fair enough." "Shoot." Jeremy sat back, folding his hands on the table in front of him. "How did you do it? I mean, did you meet off campus or something?" Shrugging, Jeremy said, "I suppose there was just this attraction, and we got together." 100


"But, it was so quick. I mean, did you nurture it from last semester? Before the summer break?" "No." "Wow ... unreal ... and now you two meet up to screw?" "What happened to one tidbit?" Jeremy smiled wryly. "Sorry, I got carried away. Look, it's every male student's fantasy. Fucking some hot professor. I'll tell ya, Jeremy, I've got this little hottie for psych class ... I wouldn't mind slipping inside that one." He appeared to think about it for a minute, then asked anxiously, "It's not Jacobs, is it? If it is I'll die." "No. Not your hot psych prof. So, don't die." The waitress had two plates of food for them and set them down. "Your drinks are coming." "Okay," Kevin replied. "Oh, got another ketchup bottle? This one's out." He handed her the empty one from the table and she left with it. Jeremy shoved a French fry into his mouth and then checked under the top bun of his burger to see if it already had ketchup on it. Their drinks and a new bottle of ketchup were set down near them. "Anything else?" "Nope, we're good, thanks." Kevin smiled at her. She placed the check down and walked away. Jeremy watched as Kevin spanked the bottom of the ketchup bottle to encourage it to spit something out. Finally a big red glop popped out onto his nest of fries. "I have fantasies about her." "Who?" Jeremy chewed his burger as Kevin crammed red dripping potato wedges into his starving mouth. 101


"Professor Jacobs. Man, Jeremy, she's so fricken' cute. She's got this petite narrow waist and wears these short skirts all the time. When she turns around to write on the board, all the guys cream themselves." Chuckling at the idea, Jeremy sipped his coke and watched as a few more students whose hunger had finally gotten to them entered the room. "What's your fantasy, Jeremy?" Kevin's eyes lit up. Laughing shyly, Jeremy kept eating, not answering. "Come on! I dare ya!" "Shit, Kevin, don't dare me while I'm eating." "I dared ya, too late." Kevin sat back smugly. Put to it, Jeremy set his half-eaten burger down and sipped the coke again. "My fantasy? Oh, I suppose doing it in class, behind some divider when no one knows." "Yeah!" Kevin laughed wickedly. "And she starts moaning and you keep hammering into her, making her come." "Something like that." Satisfied he'd said enough, Jeremy picked up his burger again. "Do it," he hissed. "What? I can't, Kevin. I don't want anyone getting into trouble." "No one will know. Screw her while there are students in the room." Shaking his head, Jeremy shoved the last bit of burger into his mouth and chewed, avoiding Kevin's eyes. When he finally caught them staring, Jeremy sat up and pointed his finger at Kevin in warning, "Don't say it. Don't fucking dare me. I can't 102


do that, Kevin. There are no hidden corners. No blinds to conceal us. It's not possible." "What about in the faculty lounge?" "Too risky." Jeremy started finishing off his fries. "Where do you do it?" "What happened to being grateful for one tidbit?" Kevin had finished his meal, moved the plate aside and worked on the beer. "I can't help it, Jeremy. I'm fascinated. I mean, you don't bring her back to ours, you can't go to hers because she's married, so? Where do you screw?" "We find places." "Then you are already doing what we're talking about." Grinning to himself, Jeremy looked around the room first, then leaned closer to whisper, "We did it in a vacant classroom." "I knew it!" Kevin shouted, then lowered his voice. "I am so fucking jealous. When?" "Today." "No! Oh, Jeremy, that is like right out of Penthouse's sexual fantasies. Fuck me! You and this hot teacher screwed in a classroom? Like on a desk?" "Uh ... something like that." He finished eating as well, and set his plate on top of Kevin's. "Come on! Tell me!" "I don't want to tell you. Jesus, Kevin, you're having sex with Kelly, you don't need me telling you about my adventures."

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"Sex with Kelly isn't this hot. She's so fricken' easy, it's not even a challenge. Not like doing it with a professor in a classroom. Damn." Taking a moment to think about it, Jeremy grabbed his roommate's arm and hissed, "Don't tell anyone. Not Rocky, not Tim, no one." "Oh, Jeremy! I have to. They'll be so fucking jealous, I have to." "No! Kevin, I'm not kidding. Don't breathe a word of this to anyone! I swear, Kevin. No one can know." "I won't tell them who. I don't know who. Just that you have this affair going on—" "NO!" he shouted, then looked around. "I confided in you, Kevin. I didn't want to, but you dared me. So, I did. Now, promise me you won't tell anyone. Promise me." He shook him. Blinking his eyes at him curiously, Kevin replied softly, "Fine. I don't get it, but fine. I just think it's strange, Jeremy." "I don't want her getting into trouble." Jeremy released his arm and sat back. "If no one knows who she is, how can she get into trouble?" "You promised, Kevin. Please." As Kevin sat back and finished his beer, Jeremy stared at him long and hard, knowing that kind of information never stayed secret for long. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eight When he entered the art history lecture hall, Jeremy quickly scanned the area. His heartthrob was not present. Descending the wide aisle to the front of the room, he recognized the back of Kevin and Kelly's heads and shook his in amazement at the tenacity they had to hold on to a doomed relationship. "Hi, Jeremy!" Kelly chirped as he sat down next to Kevin. "Hey." Jeremy nodded to her, then opened his pack and slid out his notebook. "Another yawner..." Kevin whispered, then stretched his arms over his head and did indeed yawn. "I like this class." "You are a dork," Kevin replied, laughing. When Professor Foster appeared, looking very worn out, Jeremy sat up and studied him closely. Peter set his things down, found his notes, and was instantly hit with a line of females queuing up. With little patience, he gestured for them to all take their seats, and ignored their pouts. Jeremy shivered in dread. Peter didn't meet his eye at all, no smile, no reassuring wink. What has that troll done? he thought sadly. "Okay, people!" Peter shouted, "Let's get to work. Someone tell me how Auguste Rodin's sculptures influenced painting." Jeremy's hand shot up but he was ignored. Kevin leaned over to whisper, "Shit, he looks like hell." 105


"Yeah. He does." Jeremy kept his hand down the rest of the period and was dying to find out what had happened. Fifty long, excruciating minutes later, Jeremy watched Peter as he packed his paperwork away, still avoiding looking at him. "Off to Calculus," Kevin sighed tiredly. "I'll walk with you. I have to go to the library," Kelly said while checking her phone for messages. "Jeremy?" Kevin waited. "Go on. I have a few minutes before my next class." "I don't. I have to get clear across campus. See ya later." Kevin waved as he and Kelly rushed up the wide slab steps to the exit. Jeremy noticed Kelly look back at him curiously as she went, then Jeremy shouldered his pack and approached the solemn Professor Foster. When the last tenacious female had made her final attempt at a lame question in order to get the attention of the handsome man, and he was alone and ready to leave, Jeremy finally shouted, "Pete!" Looking back at him wearily, Peter stopped and waited as he caught up. "Coffee?" Jeremy asked. "I can't right now, Jeremy." "What's happened?" "Nothing." "Peter!" Jeremy grabbed him as he turned to walk away. "Come with me to the bench by the library. At least for a minute." Peter checked his watch, then nodded reluctantly. 106


In silence they passed the crowded halls, meeting no one's gaze, both lost in their thoughts. Walking outdoors, the breeze blowing litter and leaves around, Jeremy moved to the bench and waited. Peter was the first to drop down on the cool marble, and Jeremy looked on in concern. He sat next to him and whispered, "What did she do?" Rubbing his eyes first, then his forehead, then his thick dark hair, Peter seemed to be struggling to come out with the tale. With a gentle prod of his hand on Peter's shoulder, Jeremy waited, holding his breath. "She went mad last night, Jeremy." "Mad?" "Yes. She took a knife and threatened to cut up my paintings." "Jesus!" "Just before she slashed the canvases I grabbed her from behind. I swear, Jeremy, I felt like I was taking my life into my hands. You should have seen her eyes. She looked possessed." Jeremy blinked in surprise, nodding for him to go on. "Well, her fucking screaming was heard by our neighbor, who called the damn police." "Oh no." "Oh yes. The cops came. By that time I had the knife away from her and we—or should I say, she—was still shouting. They didn't do much, just stood around and listened to her whine." "Is this still over that one phone call?" 107


"Yes. You believe it? I wish I knew who the fuck it was, but she won't give me the number to call and find out. What woman would call me like that? At home?" "Well, you gave me your information. Did you give it to anyone else? Another student?" "No." Jeremy withstood the look of suspicion that passed over Peter's face, then it seemed to vanish quickly. "What if it was just a wrong number?" Stretching out his stiff knees, Peter sighed, "That's exactly what I think it was. But try telling that to Linda." "I can't believe she couldn't see it was just a mistake. I mean, people dial wrong numbers all the time." "It gets worse, Jeremy." Peter rubbed his head again as if it ached. "Worse?" "Yes. She claims she's pregnant, but I know it can't be mine." "How do you know?" "We use a rubber. Without fail. And never once have they been defective. I believe they are one hundred percent effective, Jeremy. I've used them all my life and never once did a woman I slept with become pregnant." Nodding, Jeremy said, "I agree, they are almost completely foolproof. Then who's the father?" He grimaced angrily. "Some one-night stand no doubt. But she'll pin it on me." "Get a DNA test." 108


"I have to wait for the kid to be born first. You think I want to live nine months with her? Through a hormone raging pregnancy?" He checked his watch. "Man, I don't know what to say." Jeremy lightly touched Peter's leg. "There's nothing you can say, Jeremy. I fucked up when I married her. Now I'm stuck with her." "Can't the cops make her leave? I mean, she threatened you with a knife." "No. She didn't. Not me, just the artwork. I have it locked up now. I can't take any chances. I have an exhibit in a couple of weeks. She'd destroy five years worth of work in five minutes if I let her." Very lightly, Jeremy rubbed Peter's broad back to comfort him. "If I had my own place I'd ask you to stay, you know." Peter smiled wryly. "No. You see, that's the point. I don't want her chasing me out of my own home. It's all mine. She hasn't given me a penny to help with the mortgage. And she'd just love it if I left and she squatted there. No way, babe. No way." Leaning over Peter's lap, resting his elbows on his thighs, Jeremy stared at the swaying trees and thought about it a moment, then he whispered, "When can we see each other again?" "I don't know, babe." Peter stood and reached for his briefcase. Jeremy rose up to stop him from hurrying off. "Wait. Pete. Maybe I can arrange something ... you know, some hotel or something." 109


"Not right now. She's on me, babe. I can't do anything right now." Reaching for Peter's arm to touch him, Jeremy noticed a window behind them. Kelly was staring out of the glass at them. His insides went cold and Jeremy dropped his hand to his side. "I've got to get to a lecture. I have to go." "Okay, Pete ... uh ... then I suppose I won't see you till sculpture class?" "Looks that way, Jeremy. I'm sorry, babe." When Peter went to touch his cheek, Jeremy jerked back and looked up at Kelly. At the odd reaction, Peter turned to see where Jeremy was looking. Finding Kelly, Peter sighed and said, "Right. Catch you later, Jeremy." "Yeah ... later." Jeremy watched him walk away, then glanced back through the reflected white glare of the pane of glass. Kelly was gone. **** Completely blanking his computer science class, Jeremy sat at a table in the Hub along with a pitcher of beer and his self-pity. Having been the one to make that call that morning, he felt so torn with guilt and anger at himself that he was about to shred something with his teeth. The more he thought, the less he could come up with a solution. Should he tell Peter he was the one? Did it matter? "Yo! Jeremy!" 110


Raising his chin off his palm, Jeremy found Rocco's bright smile. "Hey, Rocky." "Beer?" Rocco checked his watch mechanically. "It's ten o'clock, man!" he laughed, "That's a record even for me!" He set his books down on the table and flagged the waitress down. "Coffee. Thanks," he shouted and waved at her when she acknowledged him. "What's wrong, Jeremy?" "Nothing." Jeremy sat up as Rocco opened his textbook to get some reading done. "How was your weekend? Everyone said you went home for a wedding." "I did. It sucked." The waitress put Rocco's coffee, sugar, and milk on the table. "Thanks..." He waited for her to leave, then asked, "Is that why you're drinking? Family troubles?" "No. Just feeling stupid." "And that beer is gonna make you a genius." He laughed, dumping a spoonful of sugar into the cup and stirring it. "I know. It's pathetic." Jeremy pushed the half-full glass aside and looked over at the textbook. "Psych?" "Yeah. Forgot to read the chapters." "Professor Jacobs?" "Oh, yes..." he hissed, grinning. "Foxy lady!" "I heard. Kevin says she's got everyone in heat." "She does. Constant heat. You two coming here to eat dinner later? Me and Tim can meet you." "Okay." Jeremy checked his watch. "I should go." "Behave yourself!" Rocco pointed comically. "Your parents paid good money for this!" 111


Jeremy shook his head and laughed at him. "Yes, mother. See ya at dinner time." "I'll be here!" He waved, trying to motivate himself for his journey across campus and the rest of his classes. **** By three o'clock, Jeremy was seated on his bed in his dorm, hoping his roommate had a late class. He picked up the phone and dialed quickly, clearing his nervous throat. "Hello?" "Yes, is this Linda Foster? Professor Foster's wife?" "Yes. Who's this?" "I'm Jeremy West. I met you last week. I was at your house when you got home? Remember?" "Vaguely. What do you want?" "Well, I think I caused some problems for you, by accident." He thought he heard someone in the hall and grew sweaty with fear that Kevin would come in. "Problems? What are you talking about?" "Well, last Sunday morning I called the professor to ask him a question about the reading assignment. It was around nine in the morning. I was using my sister's mobile phone." "Did he put you up to this?" "No! Honest! I disconnected it by accident when you answered. Then my sister Pam came into the room and was mad at me for using her phone. Well, I guess you must have called her back, because she told me someone had called her and she swore at her. Right?" 112


"Your sister?" "My kid sister. I'm not lying, Mrs. Foster. If you call that number again, ask for Pam West. It is her. It is my sister's phone. Only she had no idea I called you and she was really upset with me for using it without her permission." "Pam West?" "Yes. I'd give you her cell phone number now, but I'm not home and I really have no clue what it is. My mom will know it. So, if you want, I can call my mom and get back to you so you can verify it was her number. I'm sorry, Mrs. Foster. I didn't mean to bother you." "Oh, okay. You said this was Jeremy West?" "Yes." "I appreciate you calling me, Jeremy. But, what made you call me? I mean, how did you even think to call me and explain?" "My sister ... she got me in trouble with my mom. So, I just figured, knowing Pam, she said some nasty things. She's a very spoiled little girl." "Oh, I get it. Okay, Jeremy. Yes, it does clear up some things." "I'm glad, Mrs. Foster. I mean that. I didn't want there to be any misunderstanding. It's really Pam's fault. She should have just let me redial your number and there wouldn't have been any mix-up." "Whatever ... is that it?" "Yes." "Okay. Goodbye." 113


"Bye." He hung up and wiped his clammy hands on his shorts, then heard the door to the hall open and stuffed the scrap paper into his pocket. He stood and gaped at the doorway in expectation. "Jeremy?" "I'm here, Kevin." Jeremy tried to take a few deep breaths, then emerged to find Kelly's suspicious sneer. "Oh. Hi, Kelly." "Whatever," she replied. "Rocky said we were meeting the gang at the Hub for dinner." Kevin dumped his things down and then stood straight. "Yes. I met him there earlier today." "I know," Kevin snorted, "He said you were drinking beer at ten. Trying to turn into your dad, Jeremy?" Kevin left him to go to the bathroom, leaving Kelly glaring at him. "What are you looking at me like that for?" Jeremy growled. "Weirdo." "Weirdo?" "Yeah!" "Why the hell are you saying that? I'm not a weirdo." "What were you doing getting all cozy with Professor Foster on that bench?" "Cozy? I wasn't cozy. We were talking. And I don't see how it's any of your fucking business." "You touched his leg! I saw you touch his leg!" "It was just to comfort him. He was having a bad day. Didn't you see what he was like in class? Jesus, Kelly, have a fucking heart." 114


Pouting out her lower lip like a child, she mumbled, "It's just that I'd be really pissed off if you were gay." "I'm not gay. I just think he's an all right teacher, and I feel bad for him when he's bummed. I'm only human, Kelly. I do feel bad for the guy sometimes." "Oh. Is that all?" "Yes!" He dreaded Kevin coming out of the bathroom and hearing this conversation. "You didn't say anything to him, did you?" He gestured to the closed door. "Why?" "Why? Because I don't want any rumors starting." "I know you're not gay, Jeremy. I know you like girls." She slowly closed the gap between them, leaning against his chest and looking up at him. "I thought you and Kevin were a couple." "Not exclusive." "I can't do that to him anyway, Kelly. We're best friends." At that comment, the bathroom door opened and Kevin came out saying, "I'd give it a minute before you enter the bathroom." "Eww, gross!" Kelly curled her nose. Jeremy made some space between himself and Kelly, then laughed at Kevin. "So? Dinner at the Hub?" "It's early. I wouldn't mind getting some work done first." Kevin opened his backpack and took out a textbook. Kelly appeared let down, then asked, "You want to go with me, Jeremy?" "Nah, I'll wait for Kevin." He sat down next to him. 115


"Stay," Kevin whispered to her, "You can do some homework with us." "No. I'll meet you at the Hub later. What time?" "Six?" Kevin replied, then checked and received Jeremy's nod. "Okay. Bye, Jeremy." She waved to him and then kissed Kevin as he walked her to the door. After she left, Jeremy sighed with relief and felt slightly sick from all the stress. Plopping down next to him heavily, Kevin asked him, "You okay?" "Just tired. I've got a ton of work to do." "That's why I gave us some time to do it." "Right." Checking his watch again, Jeremy opened his book and started reading. "What were you guys talking about when I was in the bathroom?" "Uh ... not much. Just school shit." "She hit on you again, didn't she?" Trying to avoid the truth with every inch of his life, Jeremy said, "Just a little. No big deal." "Fucking knew it." Kevin went back to his reading. "Don't say anything to her, Kevin. She's just being nice to me." "Bullshit. She's trying to get laid!" "Come on, Kevin," Jeremy pleaded. "If you just told everyone about this married teacher, no one would try to mess with you." "No! Especially not Kelly!" Jeremy panicked. 116


"Why especially not Kelly? What difference would it make to her?" "She has a big mouth. And I'd never hear the end of it." "Okay! Chill!" Kevin held up his hands in defense. Jeremy brooded angrily and hoped this house of cards he was building could withstand the storms. **** Creeping in the front door warily, Peter knew Linda was home because her car was parked out front. Expecting his paintings to be destroyed, or his clothing cut up and scattered around the room, he pushed back the door and found her smiling and happily chatting to one of her girlfriends on the phone. As he closed the door behind him, Peter scanned the room for any evidence of damage, then sighed with relief when he found none and set his keys down on a table. "Hi, honey!" Linda smiled and waved at him, then went back to her conversation. Peter gave her a skeptical look, then headed to the kitchen to make himself some dinner, mumbling to himself, "She's nuts ... she's completely nuts..." Bent over, investigating the contents of the refrigerator, when he noticed she was behind him, he nearly jumped out of his skin and automatically checked her hands to see if she was holding a knife or perhaps a blunt object. "How was your Sunday, Petey? Did you get your work done at the school?" At the singsong way she was talking, Peter backed up and waited for the attack. "What's going on?" 117


"Nothing ... I just want us to be nice to each other. We used to really have fun. Remember?" "Vaguely." He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. "What now? You need money, right?" "Why do you think whenever I'm nice to you that I need something?" She pushed past him to the fridge and removed a bottle of wine to pour a glass. "Because that's all you ever want. My house, my money, my blood..." Shaking her head as if he was being silly, Linda set the bottle on the table and sipped her wine, never offering to pour him one. "I do not. I help out around here just as much as you do." "Oh? Is dinner in the oven then? Or maybe you washed a load of laundry? Did you deposit some cash into my bank account? No? I didn't think so. What, exactly, do you contribute around here, Linda? Hmm? Explain that to me?" "Well..." She drank more wine. "I'm your muse." "You are? My muse?" Peter couldn't help but laugh. "Yes. Without my inspiration, you wouldn't paint nearly as good as you do." She clicked her tongue in satisfaction. "That's got to be worth something." "Right. With that and five cents I could get a piece of gum." Going back to the refrigerator, Peter removed some vegetables and set them on the counter to prepare a salad. "Why are you being so nice to me? You wanted to kill me yesterday. What happened to the mysterious woman I was supposedly seeing?" "Oh, that? Never mind." 118


Peter shook his head sadly as he found the paring knife and cutting board. "Never mind? We had the fucking cops here about to arrest someone, and now it's 'never mind'? You really are mental, you know that?" "Be nice..." "Be nice? Be nice after what you did to me? Come on, Linda. Can we stop this pathetic excuse for a marriage and get a divorce?" "I like living here." She looked around, then poured more wine. "I'm sure you do. You're too poor and too lazy to move out ... You planning on finishing that wine yourself? Or can you spare a glass?" Reluctantly, she reached into the cupboard and removed another stemmed glass. "You making enough salad for two?" "Yes ... unlike you, I do think of others." He washed some of the vegetables and then began cutting them up. "But, really, Linda ... let's talk about what it'll take to get you out of my life. I can't keep going on this way." "You mean, like a payoff?" Rolling his eyes, Peter sighed, "Maybe. But, you don't really want to be in this marriage any longer either, right?" She shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "I didn't think so." He sipped the wine and then continued cutting up the salad, wishing she would just go away and he could do as he liked. Immediately Jeremy West came to mind. ****

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The gang was already well into their bout of drinking when Jeremy and Kevin arrived. Two tables were pushed together and the girls were interspersed with the boys this time. Kelly nudged Crystal when Jeremy approached their table. "Kevin Moore, my man!" Rocco raised his hand for a highfive. "Mr. West!" he shouted, slapping Jeremy's hand as well. "Usual service. If you want your food you better order at the bar." "Thanks, Rocky. Hey, Tim, Freddie..." Kevin tilted his head toward Jeremy, gesturing for him to go to the bar with him, then Kevin asked Kelly, "You need anything, Kelly?" "Not something from the menu," she giggled, grinning at Crystal. "What the hell is she talking about?" Kevin asked. Shrugging his shoulders, Jeremy didn't answer. They walked to the counter to check out what was on offer, foodwise. When the bartender noticed them, they ordered their meals and brought a pitcher back to the table with them, along with two clean glasses. Kevin sat next to Kelly, as Jeremy was obligated to sit between him and Crystal, since the other chairs were occupied. As Kevin passed the pitcher around for refills, he asked his girlfriend, "You already drunk?" "Uh huh. Did tequila shooters." "It's only fricken' Tuesday!" "So? I have a late start tomorrow. You want to do some shots with us? Jeremy?" 120


"No, thanks." He sipped his beer and noticed Rocco seemed amused. When Jeremy met his eyes, Rocco said, "He had an early start!" Tim shouted, "I heard you were in here at ten! Geezuz, Jeremy!" "Christ..." Jeremy tried to smile as he said, "Does everyone know everything I do?" "Not everything," Kelly teased. "What's that supposed to mean?" Kevin bristled. "Kevin..." Jeremy leaned on his shoulder. "She's just trying to stir it up. Ignore her." "You know," Kelly leaned over Kevin to speak to Jeremy in an exaggerated whisper, "Crystal's really hot for you, Jeremy West." "Shut up!" Crystal protested in embarrassment. "Everyone's hot for your bod!" Kelly batted her eyelashes. "Why don't you go with Crystal? She's pretty." Before Jeremy answered, he looked up and noticed everyone staring at him expectantly. Annoyed at everyone, Jeremy focused on his beer and didn't respond. "I dare ya to kiss her!" Kelly taunted loudly. That sent the group into a chant of 'Go! Go! GO!' As if he were in pain, Jeremy looked at Kevin for some help. Kevin shrugged, whispering, "You won't let me tell them about your teacher ... so?" "Oh, man..." Jeremy whined as the chanting got louder. "She dared ya, man!" Freddie warned, as if ignoring that piece of information was punishable by death. "I don't want to fucking kiss her," Jeremy complained. 121


Crystal appeared torn between excitement and humiliation, but was sitting up, waiting for that smooch. "Go! Go! Go!" "Oh, fuck..." Jeremy turned to see her face. Other than the look of intoxication, she wasn't ugly, just the wrong sex. Anticipating a simple peck and he would be left alone, he leaned closer to fulfill his obligation. When she wrapped around his neck and latched on as if she were giving mouthto-mouth resuscitation, he cringed. Her tongue was forcing its way past his lips to his clenched teeth. The noise around him was suddenly deafening. Unable to stand another minute of her alcohol reeking saliva, he shoved back and glared at her, wiping his face with the back of his hand. "Jesus, Crystal! Why don't you just swallow my whole fucking face!" "Wow..." she panted, as if it was some kind of satisfying experience. Turning back to his roommate in exasperation, Jeremy watched Kevin shrug in amusement. Kevin whispered, "You wanted me to keep it secret." The waitress set their food down and the clamor was slow to calm around the table. Rocco winked at Crystal, exclaiming, "You want a satisfying kiss, look no further." "Man," Crystal said, as if she was just figuring out what had happened. "He didn't even open his mouth!" "Come here, baby. I'll open my mouth." Rocco curled his finger at her. In an instant, she was on his lap, mashing lips with him. 122


Freddie seemed to find the whole thing entertaining. "You lose, Jeremy!" "Not much of a kisser, is he?" Tim snickered at Jeremy. Ignoring them, trying not to look at the happy couple as they sloppily made out, Jeremy ate his sandwich and then felt someone staring at him: both Kevin and Kelly were. Behind his food, Kevin was laughing at him, while Kelly's expression burned with suspicion. After Jeremy finished his meal, he began making excuses to leave. With a chorus of protests, Jeremy stood and waved. Kevin shouted, I'll see you in the dorm later." Leaving, wishing he had never spent time with the group that evening, Jeremy walked across the dark campus, yearning to wash his face with hot soapy water and get any trace of Crystal's kiss off his skin. **** At ten-thirty Jeremy heard Kevin come in. Jeremy rolled over sleepily in his bed and shaded his eyes from the glare of the hall light coming through the open door. "Kevin?" "Oh. You're up." Kevin turned on the light, moving the door so it wasn't glaring on Jeremy's face. "Yeah. Ah, anyone say anything after I left?" "Yes! You dork!" he laughed and kicked off his shoes. "What was I supposed to do? I can't tell them! And kissing that slut was revolting." "She's not that bad, Jeremy." Kevin took off his jeans and shirt, kicking the clothing into a pile. 123


"She is. She's gross. She didn't care who she was kissing, did she?" Kevin reached into his briefs to scratch himself. "Ya wanna know what Kelly thinks?" "No." "If you let me tell her the truth, she'll shut up." He moved to go to the bathroom to wash up. Jeremy heard his stream hitting the water in the toilet and it made him have to go as well. He sat upright on his bed and waited until Kevin finished washing up. When Kevin stepped out of the bathroom, Jeremy stood up, about to pass him in the doorway. Just as Jeremy met him at the door, Kevin whispered teasingly, "She thinks you're gay." Making a sour face, Jeremy continued on, relieved himself, and returned after shutting the light. "Did you hear me?" Kevin was already in bed. "Yes." Jeremy climbed under the covers of his own bed. In the dimness, Jeremy actually visualized telling him. Kevin was all right. He would understand. Wouldn't he? "So, you see what I have to do now, Jeremy? I have to tell her you have this married teacher you're screwing. If everyone thinks you're gay, I'd have to find a new roommate." He laughed. "Oh, shut up. New roommate," Jeremy chuckled as if it was ridiculous. "I'm not kidding, man! I don't want anyone thinking I'm shacked up with a queer." "Since when did you become so homophobic?" 124


"I'm not! I don't care if other guys are. Honest. I don't care, Jeremy. But, if someone thought I was, or I was screwing my gay roommate, I'd die." "You serious? You'd not tolerate a gay guy as a roommate?" "I know it sounds bad. I know. I shouldn't care. I mean, if everyone knows I'm not queer, then it shouldn't make a difference. But, he'd eventually try something, ya know? Like he'd come into my bed and try to screw me when I was sleeping. I just don't want a guy like that in my bedroom. I mean, come on, Jeremy. You wouldn't want a gay guy as a roommate. Especially you!" "What do you mean, especially me?" Jeremy was panting to catch his breath he was so upset with the conversation. "You know..." "No! I don't know! And I wouldn't give a shit if you were gay. I couldn't care less." "I'm not gay!" "I know, Kevin! Jesus! What did you mean by especially me?" "Well, you know ... being so good-looking and all. I'm not queer on ya, man, I'm just stating the facts. It's no secret every chick thinks you're hot. And, though I'm not gay or anything, I can see you're exceptionally handsome. So, you know, if you had a gay guy for a roommate, he'd definitely try for your ass." Jeremy heard Kevin's amused laughter behind his comment. Crushed, half wishing he could be honest and tell him he was homosexual, Jeremy bit his tongue. 125


"Jeremy? You know? I'm not trying to swell your head or anything. It's just how gay guys are. They go for the pretty ones. Don't they? Did you ever have a guy come on to you?" "No. Can I go to sleep now?" "Oh, sorry, man. See ya in the morning. You set the alarm?" "Yes." "What time?" "Seven-thirty." "Cool. Night." "Night." As his insides wound down to a slow burn, Jeremy wiped at a tear that had formed at the corner of his eye. It was a cage of secrets and lies; a cage of fear and intimidation, and no matter which bar he shook, he could not get free. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nine Jeremy had no idea if that phone call he made had any effect on his favorite professor or not. On Friday he headed to sculpture class and found Peter smiling and laughing with a few of the students. Peter's skin seemed to glow, his hair was shimmering in the overhead florescent light, his high cheekbones were accented by his smile. The laughter he emitted made Jeremy warm and tingly inside. It was robust and full of joy. Setting his books down, Jeremy realized everyone was wearing aprons and noticed a pile of brand new ones on a desk by the door. He lifted one off the stack and slipped it over his head, tying it up behind him. A minute later, Peter clapped his hands. "Okay, people! To your easels! Let's go!" Jeremy waited for him. When Peter finally spotted him he gave a big adoring grin. "Hey," Jeremy laughed at the expression of glee on Peter's face. "Hiya, babe." "Things okay?" "Things are great. Talk to you later," he whispered discretely, and moved to the clay model he had prepared for the demonstration. "Okay ... I know by now you've all had a look at this one I did for you. Just think in terms of general shapes and don't get into detail yet. Broad, general shapes. Okay? Let's go!" Peter waved to the model, telling her he was ready for her to pose. 127


Jeremy stood behind his clay aperture and noticed Kelly watching every move he made. He glared at her in annoyance but it didn't deter her leer. Grabbing some clay, Jeremy pressed ragged chunks into the form, not wanting to stare too long at the past-her-prime naked female in the center of the ring. Flicking his gaze every few seconds to the object of his desire, Jeremy watched Peter as Peter offered comments and enthusiastically molded shapes for his pupils. As Peter slowly made his way around the room, Jeremy's heart rate began to rise as he drew nearer and nearer to his easel. Peter stood behind him. Jeremy looked over his shoulder to see his sly grin. "What?" Jeremy asked in confusion. "Aren't you missing something?" "Huh? Missing?" He looked back at his clay form. With a piece of clay in each hand, Peter pressed two breasts on the torso, which was so obviously lacking them. "It's a woman, Jeremy, not a man." "I know. I just didn't get that far yet," he whispered, hoping no one could hear him. "Funny, funny, guy..." Peter laughed, then before he moved to the next student, he grabbed Jeremy's bottom playfully. Jeremy jumped in shock and then caught Kelly watching the entire incident. His skin turning bright red, Jeremy used his wooden tool to smooth the blobs of clay into breastshaped mounds. 128


During a break, Jeremy stepped out to get a drink of water from a fountain. When he returned, Kelly was simultaneously talking on her mobile phone and to another girl. Before he could duck back in the room, Kelly caught him and said, "Why don't you just admit it?" "Shut up, Kelly. Aren't you tired of the same broken record?" "Admit what?" the other girl asked. Kelly shook her head, trying to avoid answering the girl, and went back to her phone conversation. When Jeremy stepped back into the room, Peter spotted him and walked over. "You look very nice today, Jeremy." "I do?" "Yes. You do." "Thanks. You seem more relaxed. Are things better at home?" "They are. I have no idea what happened to her, but she's been sugar-sweet to me. I think she realized she fucked up. Now she's making it up to me by pretending things are okay." "Huh ... no kidding. What are you going to do? Are you still thinking of trying to leave her?" Jeremy checked to see if Kelly was in the room yet. "I don't know what to do at the moment, but in the meantime, I was hoping we could get together again." Loving that inviting smile, Jeremy noticed Kelly appear from around the door. "Uh, later, okay?" Peter twisted back to see what had startled Jeremy. They both found Kelly's obvious sneer. Clapping his hands to wake 129


everyone up, Peter walked away from him, shouting for everyone to start working again. Hating the fact that Kelly was scrutinizing him, Jeremy wanted to talk to Peter after class and dreaded Kelly seeing him linger. As if Peter realized what was going on, the next time Peter made the rounds behind Jeremy, Peter stuck a piece of paper into Jeremy's back jeans' pocket. Jeremy felt it and didn't dare move or acknowledge it. It appeared Kelly missed that connection. The end of the class had arrived and Jeremy took off the apron and added it to the pile on the desk. Casually he removed the note from his pocket and unfolded it. Meet at Starbucks after class. When Jeremy raised his chin, he spotted Peter waiting for an acknowledgement. Jeremy nodded. **** Standing outside the busy coffee shop, Jeremy finally noticed Peter walking down the sidewalk, head down to avoid unwanted conversations. When Peter arrived at the entrance, they exchanged smiles, walking in together. Jeremy ordered an iced latte and Peter opted for a Frappuccino. Once they were seated at the counter by the front windows, with a grand view of the foot and vehicle traffic, Jeremy sipped his cup and then stared at Peter. "Is that girl giving you trouble?" Peter did not appear pleased. 130


"A little. She's my roommate's slutty girlfriend and she's already making accusations about my sexuality." "Well, she'll fail both my classes if she keeps it up." Jeremy laughed at the idea. "It's Kelly, right?" Peter took out one of his notebooks. "Yes." "You know her last name?" "No, but I can get it for you." "Kelly ... Kelly..." Peter ran his finger down the list as he whispered, "Kelly Thompson. Got it." "You are so cool!" Jeremy finished his drink and made a slurping noise with the straw and ice. "How's this..." Peter marked a big 'F' near her name. "I love it." "She'll lose six credits. Stupid bitch." "Can you do that?" "I just fucking did." He tucked his book into his briefcase and went back to his drink. "You were saying you wanted to get together." "I was." Peter smiled at him sensually. "Where? When?" "My brother has a cabin in Oswego." "Yeah?" Jeremy set the empty cup down on the counter and looked around the room to see if anyone thought they were behaving strangely. No one seemed to be interested at the moment. "Yeah," Peter echoed. "He and I sometimes go fishing there together. I think we may this weekend." "Oh." Jeremy deflated. 131


"Jeremy, that's the story I'll tell Linda." "Oh!" He sat upright. "You game? Overnight Saturday night?" "Yes! Cool!" "Good. I just have to find a spot to pick you up where no one will see us." "Anywhere. Just let me know." "Great. You have a mobile phone?" "No. I should, I know. But, my dad said no on the cell phone, and no car, until my grades improve, and I'm on a damn budget. So, I can't even afford one on my own. Sucks, I know." "No biggie. Like I've told you, I hate the stupid things. Uh, let me think..." As Peter tapped his lip, a girl waved to him in excitement. He waved back, mimicking her exaggerated gesture, then when she walked away, he shook his head tiredly at Jeremy. "Uh, oh, I know. There's a post office, a bank, and a gas station at three corners on Nottingham Road." "Okay. I can find it." "I think it's an Exxon, or something. Can you be there at about nine on Saturday?" "Yes." "Good." Peter scanned around the café for a pay phone. "Hang on. Let me just call my brother now so we can make it a definite plan." He finished his drink, found some change and walked over to the small alcove.

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Jeremy smiled at him dreamily, then carried both their empty cups to a trashcan and lingered close by the phone to listen. As it connected, Peter nodded at Jeremy and then said into the phone, "Hey, you moron ... it's me. Look, are you using the cabin this weekend? No, I was thinking of going on me lonesome ... yes ... damn you know me well. Yes, she's fantastic..." Peter grinned at Jeremy and winked. "Don't call the house. I told you what that twit did to me after that stupid wrong number. I had to lock up all my damn paintings ... yes. Uh ... I guess till about late afternoon Sunday. Alright? Cool. I owe ya, Dorian..." He hung up the phone and smiled. "Done." Peter checked his watch and rushed over to where they had been sitting to grab his briefcase. "Shit, gotta run. See ya Saturday?" "Yes!" Jeremy blurted out in amazement. "Okay. Bye!" Peter rushed out, waving at him as he passed the window. When he vanished out of sight, Jeremy caught his breath and sighed in excitement. **** The dorm room was empty when Jeremy arrived. He set his things down and looked through the cabinets for something to nibble on. He found a box of cereal and poured a bowl full, then checked the refrigerator for milk. After giving it a suspicious sniff, he poured some onto his bran flakes and sat down on the couch to eat it. A weekend away? With Peter? How could he be this lucky? The idea kept sending shock waves through his length, and 133


his stomach felt as if something was alive with something squirming in it. Trying to calculate the amount of reading and work he had to do, wondered if it mattered, and cared less and less about scholastic aptitude and more and more about sexual fulfillment. "Shit, I have to get some of it done." Setting the bowl down on the coffee table, he reached for his backpack and dumped out his books. Flipping open a textbook on his lap, he began reading and finished his bowl of cereal at the same time, cupping the bowl in his hand to slurp from. Two hours later the dorm room door opened. "Hey, Jeremy." "Hey, Kevin." Jeremy rubbed his eyes and scribbled some notes into his notebook. "You're at it early." Kevin dropped his bag on the floor and then looked into the empty cereal bowl. "Is there any milk left?" "Yeah." Jeremy nodded, then tried to finish the chapter. Kevin sat next to him, crunching on the cereal and looking over his shoulder. "Do it this weekend, man." "I can't." "Oh? Going back home again? What is it? Another wedding?" "No. I'm not going home this time." "Oooooh!" Kevin sang. "Going away with your married lady-friend?" "Maybe. Let me finish." "Where? Going to a hotel? So her hubby don't know?" "Something like that. Can I finish?" 134


"You lucky shit! Who is she? Jeremy, I swear I'm going mad. You have to tell me which teacher it is. I spend all day searching for her and there are so many fucking gorgeous professors out here, I'm insanely jealous." "Let me just read this last page." "Read!" Kevin ate the cereal until he was gulping the milk from the bottom. When Jeremy shut the book Kevin asked, "Done?" "Yes. I just have to see what I get tomorrow. I have three classes and I just know I'll get an assignment in each." "You'll need a break from screwing sometime. Just bring your books." "I don't want to have a break. I definitely don't want to be burdened with homework." "Get the notes from someone on Monday ... you have all next week to do it." "I hate getting behind." "I think you're going to get a little behind this weekend!" Kevin laughed wickedly and caught Jeremy's grin. "Stop living vicariously through me," Jeremy teased. "You have a girlfriend. Remember?" "Nah, I broke up with her." Setting the books on the table in front of him, Jeremy twisted toward him to speak seriously. "Did you?" "Yeah. I just couldn't take it anymore." "What was she doing?" "Well, she was constantly flirting with other guys. I found out she kissed Tim the other night and she can't shut up about you being gay." 135


Jeremy cringed and looked around the room to avoid eye contact. "She's a pain in the ass, Jeremy, and I really get upset when she says that about you. So, screw her. I can do better." "You can, Kevin, believe me." "Right, so that cereal was the appetizer, what's the main course? I'm still starving." "Pizza?" "No, let's do Chinese." "Okay." Jeremy followed him to the kitchen to look for the menu. When they found it, Jeremy stared at Kevin's profile as he read it, dreading when the truth finally came out. **** The white cartons sitting empty on the coffee table, the aroma of lo mein and fried rice lingering in the air, Jeremy scribbled more notes into his book as Kevin sprawled on the couch with his eyes closed and listened to music through his headphones. When the phone rang Jeremy glanced at Kevin and then realized he couldn't possibly hear it. He hopped up and headed to the extension in the bedroom. "Hello?" "Jeremy, it's your mother." "Oh. Hi, Mom." "I was wondering if you could come home this weekend. I'll send a car." "No. I can't. I have too much work. Why? Is there something going on?" 136


"I just wanted you here. I've been trying to get your father back to AA and he's really being difficult. There's this clinic that specializes in alcohol addiction and I thought you and I could persuade him to spend a week, or even just a weekend, there." "Can it wait for one more week? I can't this weekend, Mom." "Jeremy! What could possibly be more important to you than your father?" "Please don't pull a guilt trip on me. I have way too much studying to do. Next weekend. Okay?" A long silence elapsed, followed by a heavy sigh. Pauline finally said, "Fine. Next weekend. You know, Jeremy, I've never seen him this bad. I really am at my wits' end." "Don't cry, Mom." Kevin caught movement from the corner of his eye and noticed Kevin standing at the doorway, listening with concern. "He binges, Jeremy. He's fine all week during work, then Friday night comes and he doesn't stop. He's passed out by nine ... oh, Jeremy, I think it's going to kill him. He's not looking well. I don't know if his liver can take it. You know, Uncle Hal died of liver disease. It runs in his family, Jeremy." "What about Pam? Can't Pam help at all? Is she totally useless?" "You know your sister. I've never seen a more selfcentered individual. I don't know what we did to deserve that one. She never stops talking or writing messages on her mobile phone. I never should have gotten her one." 137


"You didn't get me one!" Jeremy shook his head at Kevin even though he knew he couldn't hear his mother. "I know. But we see how it affected Pamela and we didn't want you failing your classes." "Take it away from her! Stop paying the stupid phone bills." "I didn't call to have a conversation about your sister. Look, I do need you to help me with your father. You understand, Jeremy?" "Yes." "So, next Saturday? I can send a car to collect you?" Rubbing his face in exhaustion, he sighed, "Fine." "Good. You're a good son. I'll let you know once I call the car hire people what time they'll get you." "Next Saturday ... not this one. Right?" "Yes, Jeremy ... next Saturday ... the twenty-third." "Okay." "Bye, Jeremy." "Bye, Mom." He hung up and looked at Kevin. "Trouble? Is she trying to screw up your weekend?" In the dim room, Kevin sat down on his bed, across from Jeremy. "It's my dad. She wants me to help her get him into some rehab clinic." "Shit. He's that bad?" "Yes, unfortunately." Jeremy fell back to lay on his bed with a bounce and stared at the ceiling. "Bummer, dude. Anything I can do?" "Yes. Make me an orphan." Kevin laughed and then headed back out to the living area. 138


His eyes dry from reading, Jeremy closed them and heard Kevin cleaning up the Chinese food containers and washing things in the sink. In exhaustion he checked his watch, found it was only eight PM, and groaned, wanting to sleep. When the phone rang again he instantly thought it was his mother. He sat up and said, "What?" into the phone. "Kevin?" "No. Who's this?" "Jeremy? It's Crystal!" "Oh..." He cringed. "Is Kevin there?" "Oh, thank fuck ... hang on." He cupped the phone and shouted, "Kevin! Phone for you!" Kevin peered into the room. "Is it Kelly?" "No, Crystal." "Shit. I don't want to hear it!" "Take it!" Jeremy held out the phone to him. Dragging his feet reluctantly, Kevin sat on Jeremy's bed and took the phone. "Yeah? What do you want?" Twisting under the cord and climbing off the bed, Jeremy left his roommate to his debate, and could hear him arguing with Kelly's best friend, Crystal, that he was indeed through with Kelly and did not want to give her another chance. Lingering near the couch, looking at his pile of books, Jeremy felt he'd done enough to get him through a weekend without working. He packed his things away neatly, then straightened up the rest of the room. [Back to Table of Contents] 139


Chapter Ten Kevin's eyes opened. "Sorry," Jeremy whispered, "I was trying to be quiet." Stirring under the sheets, Kevin yawned and rubbed his face. "You going?" "Yeah. See ya tomorrow night sometime." "Have fun, man. I'm so jealous I could shit!" Smiling shyly, Jeremy replied, "Just stay out of trouble, will ya?" "I could say the same." "See ya." "Bye." Waving, Jeremy hoisted his backpack to his shoulder and then left the dorm room, closing the door tightly behind him. The halls were deserted and no one was around. The occupants didn't come to life until nearly noon on weekends. Hung over from too much booze and dope, most of the student population only seemed to rise at dusk, like a brood of vampires. A light drizzle was falling. Jeremy lowered his head and started walking off the campus in the opposite direction of the town center. The day before he had checked out Nottingham Road and found the Exxon station with the bank on the opposite side. It was a ten minute walk, but he didn't mind. It cleared his brain of cobwebs after a fitful sleep. His mind working in spurts, he remembered listening to Kevin's side of the conversation, reaffirming his termination of his and Kelly's 140


relationship. No amount of Crystal's interference could change it. Jeremy was very glad. Kelly was beginning to get on his nerves. His hair was slowly saturating with the air's misty spray. Drops had formed and were dripping past his forehead and eyebrows to his jacket. Pausing, Jeremy looked up and saw the revolving Exxon sign. He crossed the street and had a premonition of being stood up. Of the troll putting the kybosh on the plan and Peter having no way to let him know. Finally arriving at the station, Jeremy had no idea what Peter drove and looked around the area for him. Several people were gassing up and buying newspapers. As the rain increased, Jeremy stood under the canopy of the shop and watched the traffic ebb and flow. When he shook his head, water droplets spattered around him. He wiped his face with his sleeve, and then twisted to look into the window of the tiny store. Checking his pocket for change, he entered and removed a bottle of water from out of one of the refrigerator sections and went to the cashier to pay. Glimpsing out of the glass, he noticed a black four-by-four truck pull in and park away from the pumps. He thanked the clerk and took his change, then as he opened the plastic top he made his way across the parking lot to get a look inside the cab. Immediately, as Peter recognized him, the lights flipped on and off and the passenger door opened. Hurrying his pace, Jeremy looked in and found Peter's luscious grin. "Nice rig!" "Thanks. Christ, you're soaked! Man, I'm sorry. I should have picked you up closer to your dorm room." 141


"I don't want to get your seats wet." Jeremy took off his jacket and threw it behind the seat with his pack. "Don't worry. I'm not into babying a piece of metal. It gets the artwork from point A to point B." Once Jeremy was buckled up, Peter drove in a circle around the lot and back out to the main street, his windshield wipers splashing the wet mist. Jeremy sucked down the water and offered it to Peter. He took it and had a drink, then handed it back. "You want to stop for a latte?" "No. I'm fine with this." Jeremy held up the water. "Right, look for signs for 481..." "How far is it to the cabin?" "Not far at all. About an hour?" Jeremy set the water bottle into a cup holder, then rested his hand on Peter's leg. "I'm really excited to be doing this." Glancing down at Jeremy's hand, Peter grinned devilishly at him. "Me too, Jeremy. I think it'll be good fun." Turning his knees to face him, Jeremy leaned his elbow on the back of the bench seat and rested his face in his palm. Smoothing his right hand up and down Peter's tight thigh, caressing the soft denim that covered it, Jeremy asked, "Is it just for fun? Or, do you like me?" Placing his hand on top of Jeremy's, Peter purred, "Oh, I like you, make no mistake." Thinking about what Kevin had said, Jeremy cleared his throat and whispered, "...it's not just because of the way I look, right? I mean, I actually mean something to you..." 142


Shifting uncomfortably in the driver's seat, Peter tried to glance over at Jeremy's face while also concentrating on the highway signs through the wet windows. "...481 ... hang onto that thought. Let me just get us in the right direction." He released Jeremy's hand and accelerated onto the interstate highway. When he had them moving westbound, Peter then reached for Jeremy's hand again. "I wish you could have waited to have this conversation. It's a little awkward talking about something so deep and driving at the same time." "Oh ... sorry..." Jeremy made as if he was going to move away and sit facing forward. "Wait a minute!" Peter laughed, and held his hand firm to keep him where he was. "Right, I'll get something straight with you now, Jeremy." Peter peeked over at him quickly. Jeremy bit his lip in anticipation. Peter cleared his throat, then said, "Look, I don't want to sound like an ass, or pigheaded, Jeremy, but, I'm not an ugly fucker either ... it's not like either of us are at a loss for admirers, you know what I mean?" Jeremy nodded, keeping his lips sealed. "Again, not to boast or sound egotistical ... I can pretty much get a casual fuck, or a blow job if I want one ... you know, from someone other than Linda—who for some fucking reason has gone off me completely, but that's another story. What I'm saying in a roundabout way, is that I'm not just in this for the fuck. Yes, you're fantastic looking, yes, you have a body on you that would make anyone cream themselves, but, you're something more than that to me." 143


Relaxing his tight back, Jeremy leaned closer to be able to caress Peter's hair while he spoke. "I like being around you, Jeremy. I enjoy talking to you. I enjoy your honesty, your sense of humor." Cracking a smile to himself, he mumbled, "No cliché is lost on me. I sound like a fricken' greeting card. I'm sorry, Jeremy. Am I making a complete idiot out of myself?" "No." Jeremy thought his heart would combust in his chest he was so happy. "If I could untangle myself from this horrible one year marriage, I could devote myself to someone like you." Slowly, with his right hand, Jeremy led Peter's palm to his crotch, pressing it into the hardness there. Peter's eyes crinkled with his smile. "Hard as a brick ... you naughty boy." "Will you fuck me this time?" Jeremy used Peter's hand to rub himself. "My pleasure. Now, look for signs to Fulton, that's how we know we're getting close." **** Jeremy leaned forward to look out of the wet windshield at the cabin. It was right on Lake Ontario and had its own boat dock. Peter parked the truck and tugged the keys out of the ignition. "She's not much, but she's home for the weekend." "It looks great." Jeremy hopped out and stood on the muddy path, staring at the log façade. Jeremy reached into the truck to get his things, then noticed Peter opening the back of the rig. Walking toward him to see if he needed help, 144


he found a box with groceries and a small duffle bag. "I got it," Jeremy said, lifting the groceries and carrying them to the door as Peter found the right key. "Thanks..." Peter poked the door with one of the keys and then swung it back. Jeremy stepped into the single-room cabin with a galley kitchen. There was one door for the bathroom, and another for the back of the house. A slight scent of damp wood and mold permeated everything. Jeremy set the box on the table in the kitchen and had a good look around. A deer's head was mounted over the fireplace, a double bed was in a corner and made with green flannel sheets. "Hey, that's one of yours!" Jeremy pointed to a painting and moved to it to confirm the signature. P. G. Foster was written in script on the bottom of the oil painting's canvas. "I remembered you said you painted the cherry trees in the spring. Wow. The color is amazing, Peter." "Thanks." Jeremy spun around to beam at him in pride. "You don't have to teach, do you?" "No. I don't. But I love it." Peter tossed the keys on the table next to the groceries and started to dig through the box to get the items that needed refrigerating out of it. "How much do your paintings go for in a gallery?" Jeremy approached to watch him as he unloaded the food. Peter laughed under his breath as if he were amused. "It's not important."

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Closing the gap between them, Jeremy prodded, "Come on ... tell me. I mean, the great house, the expensive car ... you're rich, aren't you?" Peter paused and met his eye. "You into money, Jeremy?" "Not overly. But, it does make life easier." "What was your upbringing like?" Peter finished emptying the items then set the box on the floor by a trash bin. "We did okay. Dad's a dentist." "Oh, I see. So, you've been around money all your life." Peter leaned to look out the window, watching the rain still hitting his truck. "Yes and no. I've not had money. Mom and Dad have it. I don't think I'm as spoiled as my sister is." Peter nodded then asked, "You hungry, Jeremy? I could make us some breakfast. Did you eat anything since you woke up this morning?" "No, I just had that bottle of water, but there is something I need more than food." He wrapped around Peter's waist. "Come and get it, babe." Peter opened his arms to him. Instantly Jeremy went for his lips. Loving the taste of Peter's mouth and the scent of his cologne, Jeremy clamped his eyes shut tight and squirmed against that hard male body. When it seemed as if Peter was going to let him lead the way, Jeremy ran his hands down Peter's sides to his hips, then hooked a belt loop and dragged Peter over to the green flannel-covered mattress. Jeremy sat down on it, moving Peter so he was standing between his knees. While Jeremy was busy fondling Peter's crotch, Peter ran his hands through Jeremy's hair, then kissed his head softly. Jeremy tugged 146


open Peter's top button, then unzipped him, spreading the material wide over his hips. When he peeked up, he found Peter's contented smile. "Take them off," Jeremy whispered. Moving back a step, Peter slid his clothing down his lower half, then stepped out of his shoes and socks and kicked off the jeans and briefs. Watching him, Jeremy couldn't stop staring at the delightful way Peter's genitals were exposed from under his shirt. Pushing the fabric up Peter's tight abdomen, Jeremy unconsciously licked his lips in yearning. "Damn, you're unbelievable." He heard Peter chuckle softly, felt his caress on his face and hair. "Fuck me," Jeremy hissed. "Okay, babe." As Jeremy quickly stripped off his clothing, Peter found the lube and rubbers he'd brought. First Peter folded back the covers, then he set the items within reach on a nightstand. Jeremy crawled on the bed and lay face up, pulling his knees tightly to his chest. Smiling knowingly, Peter rolled the rubber on himself, applying the lubrication liberally to Jeremy's ass. "You ready, cutie?" "Yeah. Fuck me hard, Peter ... hard!" Peter pushed in, then closed his eyes and appeared to shiver from the penetration. He steadied himself, then grabbed Jeremy's thighs and started to thrust into him, baring his teeth and sucking in his breath with passion. Gaping at him, watching that handsome face fill with sexual lust, Jeremy's own cock was rock hard and about to explode on contact. Suddenly, Peter jammed his hips against Jeremy tightly and grunted as he came. As Peter's back arched and his arm muscles clenched, Jeremy stared at him, 147


unable to get enough of that sight. Slowly, Peter came around and hung his head, his hair falling over his forehead and eyes softly. "Good one?" Jeremy asked eagerly. "Oh, yes..." Peter pulled out and looked at Jeremy's expression. As Jeremy waited to see what Peter would do, Jeremy gasped in surprise when Peter dropped down between his legs and gripped his cock in both hands. When he stuffed it into his hot mouth, Jeremy whimpered in agony. Writhing on the bed in absolute euphoria, Jeremy opened his lips and almost shouted out as he came, spurting into his lover's mouth. As he recovered, Peter slowed his sucking down to a gentle lapping. He felt hot, sticky, and totally satisfied. "God, I love you! I love you so much!" Jeremy moaned. Inching his way up Jeremy's body, Peter collapsed down on top of him and found his gaze. At the sight of those green irises, Jeremy could not catch his breath. Waiting in anticipation, Jeremy felt their rib cages rising and falling together like bellows at a blacksmith. "Say it," Jeremy pleaded, "Say it!" Cupping his face, stroking Jeremy's cheek, Peter seemed to be in turmoil. Jeremy wrapped around him, squeezing him to his chest, gripping him for dear life. "Say it!" Jeremy roared. Then very softly, like a breath in his ear, Jeremy heard those three magical words. As if he could burst into pieces, Jeremy rocked 148


Peter side to side, burying his face into Peter's neck and hair and kissing him over and over again. **** Peter smiled in satisfaction. Could this be love? Doing a silly checklist in his head, Peter asked himself if he felt an attachment to Jeremy. Yes. Did he want to spend all his time with him? Yes. Did he adore him? Yes. But the problem he always had was that he didn't trust in his decisions in matters of the heart. Could this finally be the one he could depend on? Leaning up to look down at Jeremy's dewy but smiling face, Peter did feel this could be the one. And he was very glad Jeremy was feeling the same. **** The sex had made them lethargic. After some cuddling and kissing, Peter nudged Jeremy, saying, "I've got to get some coffee and food in me. My stomach keeps growling." "I know. I can hear it." Jeremy laughed and finally released his grip on Peter to allow him to get out of bed. As Peter got dressed, Jeremy climbed off the mattress as well, finding his own things. Peter cleaned up the wrapper and spent rubber, then stuck the tube of lubrication back into his backpack. As Jeremy watched, Peter made the bed neatly. "Are you a clean freak or something?" Chuckling under his breath, Peter replied, "No, I'm a paranoid freak." 149


"Paranoid?" Jeremy tucked in his shirt and followed him to the kitchen were he wrapped all the evidence in a paper towel and stuffed it into the trashcan. Once he had done enough to satisfy himself, Peter washed his hands in the sink and as he dried them on a towel, he leaned against the counter and said softly, "Look, Jeremy, I have a very jealous wife. At the moment she thinks I am here fishing with Dorian. But, it's only an hour drive. I wouldn't put it past her to come for a spot check." "Shit." Jeremy looked out of the front window as if expecting her to drive up in the rain. Tucking the towel back onto a rack, Peter opened the refrigerator and took out a package of bacon and a carton of eggs. "Like I said, she's been okay the last couple of days, but that can change like the wind. Can you get the coffee started?" Jeremy nodded and noticed a coffee maker on the counter by the toaster. He pulled the carafe out and filled it with water. "What will we say if she comes?" "I don't know. I haven't thought that far in advance. My guess is that once she sees there's only a man here, she'll leave. The coffee's in the fridge." Jeremy nodded and opened it to find a bag of Kenyan ground coffee in the door. He measured out a few scoops into the filter and flipped the switch. "You want me to toast some bread?" "Sure. How do you like your eggs?" "Over easy?" 150


Peter nodded, placing slices of bacon in the hot pan to sizzle and fill the room with its tantalizing smoky aroma. Once he had dropped two slices in the toaster, Jeremy watched as Peter tended the meat. "What will she do when she finds your brother isn't here?" "Let's not worry about it. Most likely she's using this weekend as an opportunity to spend my money at the malls and mate with her latest fling." When the toast popped up, Jeremy jumped at the noise. He located a plate and put the slices on it, then stuck two more in. Checking the refrigerator, he removed the butter and then diligently spread it on the crunchy toast slices. Fear began to invade his peaceful mood. The conversation he had with Linda on the phone, of her repeating his name over and over, as if committing it to memory, haunted him. As he opened his lips, about to tell Peter about the phone call, and the problems he caused when he used his sister's cell phone, Peter smiled sweetly at him and said, "If the rain lets up we can go swimming off the dock. You bring swimming trunks?" "No. But I have two pairs of shorts. I can swim in one of them." "If the sun comes out, it'll warm up. Shit, the second week in September and it already feels like fall is creeping in." Peter placed the slices of bacon on a paper towel to drain. Jeremy noticed the coffee had stopped dripping. "Should I pour you a cup now?" "That'd be great. There are mugs up in that cupboard." Turning around to the cabinet behind him, Jeremy removed two mugs and set them down on the counter as the 151


second set of slices finished toasting. Jeremy tended the coffee first, then the toast. When all the bacon strips were out of the pan, Peter cracked eggs into it. "Man, that smells good." Jeremy sniffed the air. "I guess I am pretty hungry." "Me too. In that drawer is the silverware." Jeremy took two knives and forks out and set them on the table. "You want milk in your coffee?" "Please." "Sugar?" "No, just milk." Once the food was on plates and they were seated at the table, they both noticed the room grow lighter. "Look, the sun's coming out." Peter leaned down to see through the trees outside the window. "Cool!" Jeremy smiled warmly, inhaling the food. Just as they were clearing up the plates and washing them, the phone rang. They exchanged apprehensive glances. Peter wiped his hands on a towel and answered it. He seemed relieved when he said, "Hey, Dorian." Jeremy finished the dishes, wiping the table off with a sponge as he listened. "That bitch! I knew it. Is she? Fucking hell. You are? Good. I don't know what the fuck to do about her. I'm so fricken' stuck. No ... no, it's not a she, it's a he. I know what I said..." Jeremy caught Peter's strained eye contact, then Peter turned his back to him as if he needed some privacy, which wasn't possible in the small cabin. 152


"No, it's one of my students. Because, Dorian. Man, are you stupid? Yes. Duh. Never mind. Are you coming? Good. I'll see you in a bit." He pushed the disconnect button on his phone and stood still. Jeremy could see him take a deep breath. "What's happened?" "Dorian said Linda went to his place to check on him. She didn't see him though. He was just pulling up from getting the morning paper. He's on his way here, just in case she decides to check up on me." Jeremy shoved his hands into his pockets awkwardly. "Should I go?" "No. No, don't worry, Jeremy. She wouldn't suspect anything with just men here." "Oh?" Peter met his eyes, then seemed to grow annoyed, then a look of resignation appeared on his face. "Look, I've never let her know I'm attracted to men as well. So, don't worry." As Jeremy stood in the middle of the room, trying unsuccessfully not to be anxious, he watched Peter neurotically searching the place to make sure it didn't appear anyone had had sex of any kind. When he found the fishing poles and placed them by the back door, Jeremy almost laughed at the stage he was setting. "We could go fishing if you want." Jeremy suggested. Peter shook his head sadly and started laughing. "You believe I live like this?" "No. I don't. I don't know why anyone would stay in a relationship like this." 153


"Oh, babe. Wouldn't it be nice if life were perfect?" Enjoying Peter's smile, Jeremy moved across the room to him and wrapped his arms around his waist. "It could be." "Never. Perfection is unattainable. Tolerance is the only thing you can hope for." "That's crap." "Is it? What about your parents, Jeremy? A perfect marriage?" Jeremy's expression darkened. "I didn't think so." Peter smiled sadly. "I will get away from her. I just have to get in touch with my damn attorney." "Did you get her to sign a prenuptial?" "Where are we? California?" Peter burst out laughing. "No, babe, it wasn't like we planned on this marriage. We went to Reno on a weekend whirlwind. She got me shit-faced drunk and dragged my sorry ass to a chapel. Some guy in an Elvis suit did the honors, the rest is bad history. I have to admit I don't remember a thing, but she had the damn license to prove it. What could I do? I figured I'd give it a go. My last one sucked, so I thought maybe Linda would be an improvement. Man, was I wrong." Jeremy rubbed his hips into the ones he was pressing against and said, "At least you're laughing." "Laughing on the outside, crying on the inside." Peter pecked Jeremy's lips. "If you could do it differently, what would you do? Would you go with a man instead?" A knowing smile appeared on Peter's face. "You mean, a man like you?" 154


"Well, yes, for example." With both hands Peter cupped Jeremy's face. "Wait till Dorian gets a look at you. He'll be so fucking jealous." "Is he gay?" "Gay? Bi? I don't know. Both of us can't make a damn decision. I think it was Mom's fault. She spoiled us rotten and gave us everything we wanted." "Is he as good-looking as you?" "Better. Way better. Why? Will you go out on me? So soon?" Peter teased. "Hell no. I know when I have a good thing." "It would make me jealous. Don't let him fondle you. He will try, believe me." "Shut up." Jeremy laughed, flattered. As their rubbing hips became more deliberate with the intention of exciting each other, Peter groaned and squeezed him tighter, moaning, "Christ, I want to get naked and in bed with you again." "That was the purpose of the weekend. Maybe we should have gone to a hotel." "She wouldn't have let me. I had to say I was getting together with Dorian." Peter began kissing Jeremy's neck, running his rough jaw against it. Almost lifted off his feet as Peter humped him hungrily, Jeremy dug his hands through Peter's hair and found his lips. As their mouths connected, Peter set Jeremy back on his feet and stuffed one of his hands down Jeremy's shorts. When the door swung open unexpectedly, they both gasped and shoved away from each other. A big handsome 155


grin greeted them. "My, oh, my, big brother ... you really know how to pick them." "Jesus, Dorian. I didn't even hear your car." Peter ran his hand back through his hair nervously. "Parked right behind your truck, Petey." Jeremy wiped his mouth unconsciously as if he had lipstick on his face. He stood back to gaze at Dorian, a very bold, exotic looking man. "Damn, what's his name, Pete?" Dorian stalked Jeremy. "He can talk, Dorian." Peter choked in a laugh. "Why don't you ask him yourself?" "Holy shit..." Jeremy began backing away from Dorian's assertive strut which made its way towards him. "I ... I'm his..." Jeremy pointed to Peter, shaking his head no. "Sorry." "Well-trained as well! I'm impressed, big brother. When are you going to ditch that bitch and move him in?" Dorian held out his hand politely. "Nice to meet you ... uh?" "Jeremy. Jeremy West." Jeremy took Dorian's hand and felt Dorian's middle finger tickle his palm hotly. Shrugging off the clasping grip, Jeremy crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "Jeremy. Mmm, very nice. How old?" "Twenty-two." "Yum!" "Dorian, take your brains out of your pants. Get over here and tell me what she did exactly," Peter ordered. As if his attention was drawn in two, Dorian kept looking back at Jeremy while speaking to Peter. "I told you. I went out to get the morning paper. When I drove back I recognized 156


her car. She was parked out front knocking on my door. You know what she's like. I have no idea if her next move was to come here or to believe you, but, now I'm glad I came. Yum, yum." "Shit." Jeremy laughed uncomfortably at the overt ogling. Peter whacked his brother's arm. "Cut it out. You're freaking him out." "Why didn't you tell me you came here with a man? Why did you say it was a woman?" Dorian glanced at the bed, as if trying to decipher if it had been slept in. Jeremy was glad his lover was paranoid earlier. "Because I know you." Peter checked on the coffee pot. "You want a cup?" "Yes, please." Dorian twisted back to Jeremy, reaching out his hand as if he meant to hold it. "Coming?" Jeremy's arms still tightly wound around his chest, he walked past Dorian's hungry fingers to the kitchen. Peter was pouring two cups. "Jeremy?" "No. No thanks. Uh, is he staying overnight?" Jeremy whispered. "Not if I can help it." Dorian approached them, grinning. Taking the cup of coffee he was handed, he thanked Peter and sipped it while staring at Jeremy. Having had enough of the drooling, Jeremy breathed, "Ya know, you'd be good-looking if you weren't such a jerk." Peter burst out laughing as Dorian appeared insulted. "Well said, Jeremy." Peter patted Jeremy's back. "He can be a jerk. Can't you?" He looked at his brother. 157


Sitting down at the table in a huff, Dorian finally muttered, "Fine. I was being rude. I apologize." "Apology accepted," Jeremy replied. "Christ, I feel so creepy. What are you, some kind of perv?" Peter had to set his cup down he was laughing so hard. Unable to catch his breath, Peter held his stomach and roared with hilarity. "A perv?" Dorian objected loudly. "I came here to save both your asses! That's the thanks I get." "Yeah?" Jeremy sneered, "But you won't get mine." "All right. I get the hint." Dorian waved in surrender. "I love you, you know that?" Peter kissed Jeremy's cheek, trying to stop chuckling. "Mmm." Jeremy hugged him excitedly. "All right," Dorian shouted, "Don't start assaulting each other in front of me." "Jealous?" Peter asked, nuzzling Jeremy's hair. "Yes!" After a moment of silence, Peter said, "Well, what's it going to be, fishing or swimming?" "Either. I don't mind. Is the sun out?" Jeremy went to the window and peered outside. "Hey. It looks good out there." "Swimming, then." Peter set his coffee cup in the sink and located his bag to set on the bed and rifle through. As Jeremy passed Dorian, who was still sitting at the kitchen table, he felt Dorian's stare, ignoring it. Grabbing his bag, Jeremy did the same as Peter and held up his spare set of shorts. "I have these. So I can swim in what I'm wearing." 158


"If you don't mind getting it wet. I guess I should have mentioned a swimsuit." Peter turned to his brother and asked, "Do you have an extra bathing suit, Dorian?" "No. I didn't think I was staying. I just brought some booze for later. It's in the trunk of the car." "Good," Jeremy whispered to himself. He noticed Peter had heard it and smiled sweetly at him. Jeremy smiled back, winking at him. Jeremy emptied his pockets and stuffed his keys and wallet into his pack, zipping it up and setting it near the bed. When Peter dropped his jeans and briefs down his legs, Jeremy jerked his head up to see if Dorian was watching. It seemed a little daring deed to do in front of such a horny individual, even if he was blood related. Dorian never bothered to look. Once Peter's swim trunks were on, he took two towels out of a cupboard and gestured for Jeremy to follow him out of the back door. "You coming?" Peter asked his brother. Dorian set his cup in the sink, replying, "Let me get the booze out of the car and into the refrigerator. I'll meet you." Peter nodded and let Jeremy walk out first, closing the door behind him. Smiling wryly, Peter asked, "So? What do you think of the illustrious Dorian Foster?" "He's perverted." "Well, I had a feeling once he laid eyes on you he'd go into one of his swaggering acts. I appreciate you putting up with it." "I'm sorry I snapped at him." "He's lucky you didn't deck him!" Peter laughed. They walked down a grassy lawn to a wooden dock. A small 159


powerboat was tied to it, and the lake appeared cold and sloppy from the rainy night. Peter dropped the towels down and then sat on one to take off his sneakers. Jeremy did the same and tried to feel warm in the early afternoon sunlight. "You mind if I sunbathe a little, you know, to warm up enough to jump in?" "Sounds good." Peter shook out the towels to spread them across the dark weathered wood. They lay side by side and Jeremy snuck his hand over to clasp Peter's. Closing his eyes, enjoying the warm sun on his cool skin, Jeremy wished they had the cabin to themselves and had a feeling Dorian was going to put a damper on the fun. Finally warming up, Jeremy took off his shirt and sat up, looking out over the expanse of water. He wondered, on a clear day, if you could make out Canada on the other side. "Ready for that dip?" Jeremy looked over his shoulder and smiled. "Yup." When Jeremy stood he spotted Dorian coming toward them holding three bottles of beer. "It's not even noon yet. You guys usually drink this early?" Peter spun around and found his brother approaching. "Sometimes. I have to admit it isn't out of the question." Smiling to himself, Jeremy admitted, "I started at ten one day. I really felt stupid." "I have the refreshments!" Dorian held up the brews enthusiastically. "How long are you planning on hanging around?" Peter asked. 160


"I don't know. What do you think she'll do?" Dorian set the two beers down and twisted his open. "I assumed she'd come right up. But you know her better than I do." "God, Dorian, why did I get drunk in Reno with her?" Peter whined. "Give me the fricken' beer." Dorian handed him one, smiling. "Jeremy?" "Yeah, why not." Jeremy took the offered bottle and opened it, sipping it. "It looks cold. I can't stand swimming in a cold lake." Dorian shivered dramatically. "I like a hot tub. We should invest in one, Pete, the place needs one." "I suppose." Peter sat back down to drink his beer. Jeremy did the same, sitting crossed-legged on the towel. He played with the bottle cap as the other two spoke. "Just out there. Under the kitchen window." Dorian pointed. "We could do it. But, we're not up here much. Won't it get all moldy?" "We can drain it if we'll be gone for long bouts in-between visits. It doesn't have to be an enormous one." "If you want one, get it." Peter shrugged. "We should. Then on nights when it's cold and frosty out, we could sit in it and look at the stars. What do you think? What do you think, Jeremy?" Jeremy shrugged, peeling the label off his beer bottle. "You meet in class?" Dorian swigged the ale. Peter set the bottle down and answered, "Yes. He's in two of my classes." "Cool." Dorian nodded. "Is he a good teacher, Jeremy?" 161


"Yes. He is." "I suppose you have an A now." Jeremy looked at Dorian's sly grin. "If he thinks I deserve it." "Oh, I'm sure you'll get high marks ... in the sack!" "Shut up, Dorian. Were you always this obnoxious?" Peter asked. "Hey! I'm just trying to make a joke." Dorian went back to sipping his beer. Having enough of Dorian's company, Jeremy stood, diving off the end of the dock. The water was ice cold and deep. He treaded water and noticed them talking together, looking over at him. "Families are so weird," he said to himself, then his teeth started chattering. He swam to the ladder and climbed up. The men watched him as he approached. "Cold, right?" Dorian smiled. "Fucking freezing!" Jeremy grabbed the towel and wrapped it around himself. "A hot tub, we need a damn hot tub," Dorian mumbled, finishing his beer. "Well, maybe it's just too late in the season." Peter rubbed Jeremy in an effort to warm him. "Summer's really over already." "Yeah, up here at the fricken' border!" Dorian laughed. "Jesus, Jeremy, you're shivering." "Come on. Back to the cabin." Peter stood Jeremy up and walked him across the lawn. As he did, Peter shouted back, "Get our beers, will ya?" Dorian nodded and picked them up. 162


When they came through the door, Peter led Jeremy to the shower. "I'll make sure the hot water heater is on. Go warm up." "I had no idea the water would be so cold," Jeremy said, "it felt like it went to my bones." "It's just not hot enough outside to swim anymore. I'm sorry, Jeremy." "It's not your fault," he laughed. "I'll be right out." "Take your time." Jeremy nodded and shut the door behind him. He peeled off his wet things and turned on the faucets, sticking his hand under the spray, waiting for hot water. The moment it heated up, he stepped in, moaning in relief. Once he had washed up, using the shampoo and soap that was available, he turned off the water and grabbed a towel, rubbing it through his hair briskly. **** Dorian handed Peter back his beer. Peter took it and they sat down together on the couch. "He's fantastic," Dorian crooned. Peter smiled. "I know. He's great. I noticed him the first day he walked into the lecture hall. And he's not conceited, Dorian. He's really down to earth." "I can tell you two already are attached to each other. Look, Peter, I've been trying to tell you for years to go with a man. These women have given you nothing but expensive headaches." 163


"Can you imagine Mom? Two gay sons? Come on, Dorian. It'll kill her." "Since when do you live for Mom?" Dorian drank more of his beer. Peter shook his head sadly and then sighed, "I don't. I think I should start living and doing life my way. I thought for years I had to be conventional, you know ... marry, have kids. We all think that, Dorian. Even you did." "One relationship with a woman and I was cured!" Dorian laughed, placing the empty beer bottle on the table. "You think he's too young?" he asked, nodding at the closed bathroom door. "No. Not at all. I've spent enough time with him to know him. He's very settled in some ways. I just can't imagine him becoming clingy or needy. He's completely independent." "I think it's time to get rid of the wife." "It was time a year ago. I'm just too soft for my own good. I kept thinking we'd eventually find common ground. It never happened, Dorian." Peter set his bottle next to Dorian's on the table, then rubbed his fingers into his hair tiredly. "I need to settle down," Dorian mused out loud. "I should stop playing around and find a nice one like you have." Smiling in amusement, Peter replied, "It'll never happen. You love the one-night stand and insurmountable conquest." About to object, Dorian could only smile and say, "I know..." ****

164


When Jeremy opened the door, the conversation in the living room ceased. "Ah..." he said awkwardly, "I have to get fresh clothing." "Don't worry about it, Jeremy." Peter waved at him to continue. He opened his backpack and took out clean shorts, then considered dropping the towel and getting changed where he stood. Peering back at them, noting Peter's affectionate smile and then Dorian's ogling leer, Jeremy reconsidered and took his garments into the bathroom to dress in private. Finally finished, he stepped out and asked, "What should I do with my wet things?" Peter hopped up and reached for them. As Jeremy ran his hand through his damp hair, he watched Peter lay the wet things on a clothing rack at the back of the cabin that was in the sunlight. "There's a blow dryer in the cabinet under the sink if you need it," Dorian said. "I'm all right." "You want your beer back?" Nodding, Jeremy walked to his outstretched hand and took it from Dorian. "Thanks." "My pleasure." Peter returned and asked, "You feel warmer?" "Yes. I'm fine." Jeremy stood idly, waiting for Peter to sit first. "I suppose I don't need to be in these anymore." Peter walked to the bed and yanked the swim trunks down, then stepped back into his briefs and jeans again. 165


Jeremy tore his gaze away from his lover's ass to find Dorian smirking at him. "Am I preventing you from attacking him, Jeremy?" "Yes. Leave." Jeremy heard Peter's laughter and found him approaching again, appearing more comfortable in his ordinary clothing. "Shit!" Peter shouted. "What?" Dorian and Jeremy jumped at his exclamation. "I heard a fucking car door!" With his heart in his throat, Jeremy watched Peter hurry to the window and look out. "I don't fucking believe it!" "I do." Dorian shook his head sadly. "She's here?" Jeremy's skin started crawling. "Yes, look, Jeremy, I'm going to tell her you're with Dorian. I'm sorry." "Can't you just say I'm here to fish with you?" Jeremy avoided Dorian's greedy sneer. "She won't buy it. Please?" Peter looked back at the door in expectation. Soon after, a knock was heard. When he opened it, Peter asked her, "What are you doing here?" Her pointy nose twitched as she quickly took stock of the occupants. Another woman was behind her, poking her head in even before Linda stepped over the threshold. "Just making sure you're okay." "Don't you mean, 'checking up on me'?" Peter crossed his arms over his chest. "Why the hell did you bring Donna? You can't stay. We're going to be fishing all afternoon." 166


Linda stared down at the beer bottles in disdain. "Yeah, right." "Look, Linda, you know I just wanted a break for a weekend. Right?" When Linda met Jeremy's eyes, Jeremy flinched. He was hoping she didn't recognize him. They had only met for a few seconds. "Come here, baby," Dorian purred, reaching out for Jeremy. "Sit with me." Seeing Peter's pleading expression, Jeremy ground his jaw and sat down on the couch next to Dorian. Immediately Dorian put his arm around Jeremy's shoulders and his hand on Jeremy's leg. Both Jeremy and Peter judged the effect it had on Peter's snooping wife, while Dorian was eager to take advantage. Donna clicked her tongue sadly. "Dear Dorian, all that beauty is wasted on men." "Jealous?" Dorian teased her, cradling Jeremy close. "I should be. But all you pretty ones are gay, aren't you?" Very discreetly, Linda looked into the bathroom, then out the back door, as if the mystery woman was about to step in and surprise them. Jeremy cringed as Dorian kissed his neck, nuzzling him. "Well, since we're here, you may as well get us a beer." Linda sat down across from the men and stared at them. "You look familiar." "Uh, I'm Kevin!" Jeremy shouted before he could be introduced. "Kevin Moore." 167


Jeremy noticed Peter's look of surprise at the information, as Dorian purred the name Kevin into his ear sensually. Appearing uninterested, Linda snapped her fingers and repeated, "Beer?" "I don't want you to stay," Peter grumbled. "Look, Linda, you checked up on me, found I'm here with Dorian and his partner and now you can leave." "But, Donna and I are thirsty." "I thought you were pregnant. You shouldn't be drinking beer." "You're pregnant?" Donna asked curiously. Jeremy watched as Linda gave Donna a scolding look. Jeremy felt Dorian's hand creeping between his thighs and snarled, "Watch it." "Why, Kevin?" Dorian nuzzled his jaw playfully. **** In agony, Peter rubbed his face. Feeling as if this whole charade was getting to him, he ground his jaw as his brother took advantage of the situation and imagined punching him. Reaching the breaking point, Peter growled, "I can't do this anymore! Linda ... I swear. I can't. If you're not pregnant, then it's over." "No! I am! I forgot to tell Donna! I really am!" "No. You're not! And if you are, it isn't from me," Peter replied in anger. "We used protection, Linda, and we haven't even had sex for months. I think lying about it to keep me paying for your room and board is pathetic." His head aching, Peter felt it was about to explode. All he wanted was a nice 168


weekend away from it all with Jeremy and now he had a room full of people who were tormenting him. He was tired of living that way. Yearning, craving something real, not superficial, Peter was hoping to get it from Jeremy. But at the moment, even that was impossible. Staring at his brother and his constant grip on Jeremy, Peter was about to get violent. As Dorian's groping grew more personal, Jeremy looked to Peter in anguish. The moment Peter noticed Jeremy's expression, his face grew contorted with rage. "Dorian!" Peter thundered. "Yes?" Dorian replied calmly, blinking his long dark eyelashes at him. "Cut it out!" Linda asked in annoyance, "Why do you care what he does to his boyfriend?" "I don't want to witness the damn groping, all right?" Peter kept rubbing his face and hair in fury, trying to tolerate what was rapidly becoming intolerable. **** Watching this unbelievable interaction, Jeremy could tell Peter was near breaking point. He felt so sorry for the man he was about to scream. Through clenched teeth Jeremy whispered into Dorian's ear, "Touch me again like that and I'll kill you." "Oh, baby." Dorian made kissing noises and squeezed him tighter. 169


Clenching his fists, trying to breathe calmly, Peter roared, "I've had enough!" then wrenched the door open and stormed out. Jeremy went mad. Battling the tentacles that surrounded him, he twisted out of the stranglehold and glared at Dorian. "What's the deal?" Linda asked in confusion. Ignoring them, Jeremy raced after Peter, immune to the comments that erupted behind his back. Jogging to catch up to Peter, Jeremy found him pacing and running his hands back through his hair. "Pete." Stopping, Peter turned around and dropped his arms to his sides. "I can't do this, Jeremy. Get your things." "Right." With Peter behind him, Jeremy returned to the cabin and grabbed his backpack, remembering his wet shorts and hurrying to pull them off the drying rack. "What's going on, Peter?" Linda asked, a bottle of beer in her hand. Jeremy watched as Peter confronted her. Peter replied, "You want a weekend here? You've got it. I'm leaving." His belongings slung on his back, Jeremy waited at the door. "You're leaving with your brother's boyfriend?" Donna snorted. "He asked me to give him a lift home. Let's go," Peter said to Jeremy. Peter grabbed his duffle bag, taking his keys and wallet from the side table. As Jeremy looked on, Peter gave his brother a long nasty glare, then nodded his head for Jeremy to step outside. 170


Before Jeremy did, he clamped eyes on Dorian, found him appearing very dejected, and then left. After they both climbed into the SUV, Peter sighed, "I'm sorry, Jeremy." "It's not your fault." Jeremy buckled his seatbelt and held on as Peter drove over some of the landscape in order to get out with two cars parked behind him in the lane. Once they were on the gravel road and heading out, Peter rolled down his window and leaned his elbow on the door. "Will Dorian say anything to them?" "No. He won't. He despises her. He'll most likely leave." "This sucks." "It does. I don't know how much more of this I can take." "Divorce her," Jeremy shouted. "I'd rather kill her. I don't want her to take half of my estate." "After only a year? No judge will give her half. At least talk to an attorney." "Stop yelling at me, Jeremy." Biting his lip, Jeremy slouched down in the seat and rested his knees against the dashboard the same way he had sat with his mother when she irritated him. **** After a long silence and twenty miles, Peter asked quietly, "Why didn't you tell her your real name?" Clearing his throat after being deep inside himself, Jeremy sat up and said, "I just didn't want her knowing my name. She's mental." 171


"But, you took a chance. I told her your name the night you were at my home. What if she remembered you? Then she'll want to know why we lied." "Who cares?" "I care, Jeremy. I don't know why you thought it was necessary." Peter felt as if he had enough problems and didn't need new unnecessary ones. "I told you! I don't want her hunting me down!" "Please lower your voice." Peter was beginning to wonder just how mature this young man was because the anger display was overly exaggerated as far as he was concerned. About to scream from frustration, Jeremy twisted in the confines of the seatbelt towards Peter, bending his left knee under him and placing his arm on the back of the seat. "Peter ... I wanted this to be a special weekend between us. I'm absolutely devastated we couldn't sleep overnight together." "I know, babe. Me, too." Peter rubbed his knee affectionately. "I wanted to lay around naked all day with you ... shower with you ... screw you all night." "Me, too. Believe me." Though he was nodding in agreement, Peter was wondering if the sex was all Jeremy wanted, and he was becoming a little concerned with his comments. Jeremy scooted closer, touching Peter's hair with his left hand before moving his right to Peter's lap. "I guess I had it all planned in my head. You know, what we would do ... I thought we'd get the chance." 172


"We will. Be patient." Peter glimpsed down at Jeremy's hand as it cupped over his crotch boldly. "Will we? She's got one heck of a noose around your neck, Pete. And you don't really show any signs of cutting loose." "I know it seems that way to you, Jeremy. But, along with all this, I have a big show coming up and I still need to get some work done for it. I've been neglecting my painting and I can't do it for much longer. My agent wants the room filled up with my new work. I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure, with that, school, Linda..." "...Me..." "No. Not you. You've become my sanity in this world. Not you." Peter's eyes flickered downward once more to those fondling fingers, which were distracting him as he drove. Somewhere deep in his brain Peter started fearing this relationship was only physical. He needed a heart, a soul, and some wonderful conversation and stimulation, not just a good fuck. Trying not to depress himself, knowing his foul mood was from the earlier events with his wife and brother, Peter inhaled a few times to try and change his demeanor, which at the moment wasn't a good one. "Have I?" "Yes." Peter nodded, trying to convince himself. "Are you really dropping me back off at the dorm?" Jeremy asked as he checked the clock display in the dashboard. "It's not even one yet." Peter looked at his own watch and let out a sigh. "Stop at a hotel." 173


Feeling Jeremy's hand between his legs, rubbing and squeezing his cock eagerly, Peter ground his jaw and left the highway at the next exit and pulled into the parking lot of a cheap motel in Brewerton. After setting the brake and turning off the ignition, he ordered, "Stay here." Jeremy nodded as Peter climbed out and made his way to the office. Scanning the area, seeing a few people come and go, Peter investigated the look of the place and found it a little lacking. Peter was usually spoiled with first class accommodations, indoor pools and room service. This was only a step above the Bates Motel, in his opinion. After what felt like a long to while to Peter, but in reality was only fifteen minutes, he emerged from the glass doors with a key in his hand. Peter climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine. In silence beside him, Jeremy waited. The truck stopped in front of room number twenty-seven. Without a word, Peter jumped out. Appearing slightly surprised by his abrupt actions, Jeremy scrambled to catch up. Peter had already opened the door and was standing inside. The dusty smell hit Peter immediately. Pausing at the doorway, Jeremy looked over the worn out interior and then moved his eyes to Peter. Closing the door behind him, Jeremy exhaled deeply and asked, "What's wrong?" Throwing up his hands in frustration, Peter spun around and growled, "You want a fuck? I got us a place to fuck! Okay?" 174


"Whoa..." Jeremy shook his head. "What's all this about, Peter?" After tossing the key on the dresser, Peter dropped down on the foot of the bed and slouched over his lap in exhaustion. He was so tired and confused, he didn't know what he wanted any longer. What he needed to do was uncomplicate his life, not make it worse. And the idea that all Jeremy wanted from him was his cock was infuriating him. "Pete?" Jeremy didn't approach him. Slowly Peter raised his eyes. "Is this what it's all about, babe?" "What? What are you talking about?" "About this! About us stopping in some shitty motel just to fuck." "I thought ... I thought you wanted us to be close." "I do, Jeremy. But, being close is also being empathetic to emotions, to needs other than the physical." Moving nearer to him, but not yet within reach, Jeremy whispered, "I want to be there for you for other things. Just tell me what I can do." Wringing his hands in anxiety, Peter hissed, "I don't know ... I don't fucking know..." Peter suddenly felt as if he were about to cry. Jeremy sat next to him gently, then put his arm around his shoulders. "I'm here." Covering his face with his hands, Peter finally let loose his emotions and shouted, "I fucked up. I fucked up so badly when I married her. Christ, Jeremy, I was drunk. I had no idea what I was doing." 175


"I still don't know why you couldn't get it annulled or something. You want me to call a lawyer for you? You know, just to ask?" "No ... no, babe. I'll do it. You don't do it." Peter wiped at his eyes roughly. "Then ... then do you want to talk about it?" A sad laugh emerged from Peter's throat. "Talk ... what the hell is there left to say?" After a pause, Jeremy replied, "If I can't talk to an attorney and you don't want to talk about it, what can I do?" Jeremy grabbed Peter's hands and pulled them away from his face. Peter was laughing sadly. "Do you find this whole thing funny?" "No. On the contrary, Jeremy. I find it pathetic. But if I don't laugh, I'll cry." Peter felt some of the anger subside in him finally. "Aw, come here." Jeremy pulled him down with him on the bed and cradled him, rubbing his back. "What do you want with a basket case like me? Huh? You're young, gorgeous, smart, from a good home ... go and find someone who doesn't come with a shit-load of baggage." Peter sighed, staring at those darkly rimmed lashes and blue eyes. "I don't want anyone else." "Why? What is so fucking wonderful about me?" "Everything! Are you kidding?" When Peter raised his head to see Jeremy's face, Jeremy smiled. "You have more talent in your little finger than I have in my entire body ... you're funny, you're brilliant ... and you're great in bed." 176


"I'm not brilliant. I'm an idiot who got roped into a bad marriage," Peter replied. "Big deal. You'll get out of it." Peter rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling light fixture to gather his muddled thoughts. **** Unable to resist, Jeremy slid his fingertips into the top of Peter's jeans. When no objection was heard, Jeremy dug under the fabric of the shirt that was tucked inside them, and pulled it up to see his belly button. Very gently, Jeremy rubbed his hand over Peter's abdomen, then along the smooth surface of his lower pelvis, stroking the fine line of hair there. When he glanced at Peter, his eyes were closed. Gingerly, Jeremy lowered down and kissed Peter's hot skin, rubbing his face into his body lovingly. "Okay, you win." Jeremy sat up. "I did?" "Yes." Peter reached down to open his own button and zipper. "You got it hard as a rock, you may as well play with it." "I'm not with you just for the sex, Peter. You know that." "It would be a first for me." "Why do you say that?" Jeremy slid his hand into Peter's jeans and touched his cock. "Because of my track record. I've married two women who couldn't stop fingering my dick ... until we got married that is." "You want me to stop?" 177


"No." Jeremy tugged at Peter's jeans. Lifting up to accommodate him, Peter raised his hips as Jeremy removed his lower half of clothing. "Why did they stop wanting it after they got married to you?" "Got me. I suppose it's what some women use to trap a guy. I've heard every excuse in the book." Using his fingertips, Peter hiked up his shirt over his chest. "Headache, that time of the month, upset stomach, tired ... you name it." "I can't imagine not wanting it." Jeremy ran his hand over that amazing cock. "That's men for you. We always want it." "Then it's kind of a cruel joke, men and women trying to be together," Jeremy whispered. "Yes. I wholeheartedly agree." "Then, why is society so against two men together? I mean, it makes more sense." "Can we have this discussion after? Your teasing is making me crazy." Smiling at him, Jeremy climbed between Peter's straddled legs and licked at his balls playfully. He heard Peter's low moan and felt him shift his hips in anticipation. Taking one of Peter's testicles into his mouth, Jeremy rolled his tongue over it as he played with Peter's cock, touching it as lightly as a feather. Next, Jeremy began stroking Peter's scrotum, pushing his finger near his anus until Peter was squirming on the bedspread. Once Jeremy had made Peter gleaming wet with his tongue, Jeremy sat up to have a look at him. "What are you doing?" Peter whispered. 178


"Looking at you." "That felt incredible, Jeremy." "Good." "Now suck it till it comes." Laughing at his urgency, Jeremy lowered back down and only put the tip into his mouth, tickling his tongue over it. Once again that masculine groaning reached his ears. Lapping at him like an ice pop, Jeremy had him gripping the bedspread in white knuckles as he brought Peter up slowly to an agonizing level. At one point Peter jammed his cock into the air as if ramming it into an imaginary body. Jeremy waited until he settled down on the bed and then began the game again. When Jeremy sat back once more, he caught Peter's pleading eyes. "You want to come?" "Yes!" Peter shouted, "Ya done playing?" "No, but I'll stop prolonging it." Jeremy grinned and lowered back down, plunging Peter's cock all the way into his throat and gripping the base tightly. Sucking it as if he were a Hoover, yanking his cock as if he meant to rip if off, and shoving his wet finger up into his ass, Jeremy knew the time was right for liftoff. And instantly he heard that grunting sound and felt Peter's cock pulse and ripple in his mouth. "Ah! Ah!" Peter clenched his jaw and let go. As Peter recuperated, Jeremy sat up again and toyed with him gently. "Oh, my fucking God..." Peter gasped for oxygen. "Good one?" "Jesus Christ..." 179


Smiling proudly, Jeremy ran his hands over Peter's long muscular legs adoringly. In exhaustion, Peter closed his eyes and rested his palm on his chest as if checking his heart rate. Jeremy climbed off the bed and removed his clothing. When Peter finally opened his eyes, Jeremy was staring at him wickedly, masturbating. "Oh, babe ... you wore me out." "I can just do it myself looking at you." "No, no. I'll help you. Just give me a minute. Jesus, I swear I never came that hard before." "Good." Jeremy knew if he kept standing there playing with himself he'd come. Just looking at Peter's naked body was enough stimulation. Gesturing for Jeremy to move closer, Peter rolled to his side. As Jeremy stood next to the bed, Peter opened his mouth for him. Closing his eyes, pumping into that hot silky mouth, Jeremy reached out to hold onto him, steadied himself. Right before the sensations overwhelmed him, Jeremy opened his eyes, stared at Peter's face, then his cock, and came, shivering and feeling weak in the knees. A strong arm steadied Jeremy. Jeremy looked down to see Peter nuzzling his cock with his lips, his cheek, tenderly and lovingly. Wanting to lay down before he fell down, Jeremy nudged at the bedspread, indicating for Peter to get under the covers. Peter climbed off wearily and they checked to make sure the sheets were clean. They were. Meeting in the middle of the mattress, they wrapped around each other tightly and closed their eyes to nap. [Back to Table of Contents] 180


Chapter Eleven Eating breakfast at an IHOP, Jeremy couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he chewed his pancakes. Flashes of their loving, holding Peter in his arms overnight, of kissing him passionately, rushed over his skin like an August heat wave. But the best part was Jeremy's heart was burning over their exchange of words. The whispers of assurances and "I love yous" echoed in his head like a chiming silver bell. "You okay?" "Huh?" Jeremy sat up and blinked. "You stopped eating. The food okay?" "Yeah. It's great." He stuffed more pancake into his mouth. "Good." "Uh, Pete, when we get back, what will you tell her? I mean, you were gone all night." "Nothing. I'm sick of answering to her. She knew I wasn't with a woman, so I shouldn't get too much grief." "I can't believe she can't figure out you're with me." "She won't. She definitely thinks I have an eye for the ladies. Don't worry, Jeremy." Jeremy chewed and swallowed some maple syrup-covered sausage, then said, "When's your show?" "The end of October." "Is it on campus?" Smiling sweetly, Peter shook his head. "No, babe, it's in the city." 181


"New York City?" "Yes." "Wow." "I need to get some work done. I have to get to my studio this week." "What type of work are you going to do? More nudes?" Peter's eyes sparkled. "Why? You want to model for me?" "I could. You want me to?" Jeremy sat up in excitement. "No, it's all right. I think I need to do more landscapes. I've taken a few hundred photos over the year. I'll get it from there." "Can I come?" "Come? Come where?" Peter poured more coffee from the carafe into his cup, then gestured to Jeremy's cup. "No, thanks." Jeremy covered his cup. "Can I come to the show? I want to see your work in a gallery." "Oh. Uh, if you want. Do you have a car?" "No. I suppose you can't drive me there. Too risky?" "I don't know, but I'll be staying there overnight in a hotel. The gallery is opening late on the first night and there's a champagne party. I won't be in any shape to go home." "Is Linda going with you?" Jeremy's lip curled in his sneer. "I know she intended on going previously." Peter stared at Jeremy for a moment. "Don't look at me that way. She's my stupid wife and everyone expects her to be there." "In a hotel overnight with you?" "Jeremy..." Peter breathed tiredly. "I can't help it, Peter. Just the thought of her touching you really upsets me." 182


"We won't touch. Not that way." The waitress approached and asked if they needed anything. Peter smiled sweetly at her and said no. "Yes you will. You'll be drunk. You'll be in a room alone. In bed..." Peter set his cup down and stared at him, his mouth forming a grim line. "Please don't get possessive over me. I've enough pressure, Jeremy." Biting his lip to stop his comments, Jeremy wanted to be possessive. What did they have between them other than words and sex? **** Peter stared at Jeremy for a moment, then whispered, "Look, babe, I need someone in my life who is supportive, yet not clingy. I've had two wives who have drained the life out of me like blood-suckers. I need a partner, not a dependant." "Ouch!" Jeremy glared at him. "Do you think of me that way?" "No. Of course not. I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now if I did. I just want you to know where I'm coming from." Peter reached for his wallet and took some cash out to pay the bill. "I'm looking for something symbiotic, Jeremy, not something parasitic." "I can't believe you think I'm like that. You must not think very much of me, Pete, to say those things to me." Seeing the pain he had caused in those soft blue eyes, Peter sighed tiredly. "I'm sorry. You can see what I'm going 183


through, can't you? I'm just a little raw around the edges about it." "You want to know what I can see?" Jeremy asked, leaning across the table towards him. Peter blinked in surprise, not certain he was in the mood for the appraisal. "I see a guy..." Jeremy began, "Who most likely has been gay his whole life, but was determined to prove he was straight to someone. So, he keeps making stupid choices just in case one time he lucks out and it works." Sitting back to digest the diagnosis, Peter felt as if he'd received a slap in the face. "Wow. It's my turn to say 'ouch'." Jeremy sat back and shrugged. "You know I'm right." Was he? Peter tried to think if all his efforts to get married to a woman were in fact a denial of some sort. "But, Dorian is gay. Why should I care if I come out as well?" "How the hell do I know? Look, Pete, I'm the only son and you think I want to tell my parents I'm gay? Maybe because Dorian got there first you feel in some way obligated to be the straight one. You tell me." Sitting back, rubbing his chin stubble for a moment, Peter did indeed wonder if on some subconscious level he was still trying to please his parents. "They never thought much of my art education..." "Who? Your mom and dad?" "Yes. When I went to college for my fine art's degree they thought I was insane. Even after I earned decent money at an exhibit in New York, they still kept asking when I was going to get a real job." 184


"Is that why you teach at the college?" "Maybe ... I guess I do enjoy it, but they've never acknowledged the fact that I'm successful as an artist. Especially my father. I suppose they kept wondering when I was going to get a 'real' job." Jeremy laughed softly. "And a real wife? With real kids?" Matching that smile, Peter nodded, "Yes ... probably. Christ, have I been living my life through them even now? That sucks, Jeremy." "At least you're out of their house. Pity poor me." Peter reached over the table to him to clasp his hand. "You're almost there. Savor being in school, Jeremy. It's fleeting and soon you'll be out there trying to earn your paycheck like every other working slob in the state." "Yeah, but at least I'll have a 'real' job," he said, laughing. "Ouch!" Peter laughed with him, shaking his head. **** "This is as close as I can take you, babe." "It's fine." Jeremy reached for his pack and brought it to his lap. "See you in class Tuesday." "Yes. Tuesday." Before Jeremy opened the door, Peter grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Don't be upset, Jeremy. Just give me some time." "I know."

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"I want this thing to work between us. I do. I don't want to lose you to someone else because you won't be patient and wait." "I'm not going anywhere." "Good." Peter looked around the area, then whispered, "How about a kiss?" Jeremy ducked down low and kissed him. "See ya." "See ya." Jeremy closed the truck door and stood watching, waving as Peter left. For a man like Peter, he would wait forever. **** Checking his watch, seeing it was before eleven a.m., Jeremy opened his dorm room door and set his pack down on the floor. He looked around the quiet interior and figured Kevin had already gone out. Kicking off his shoes, Jeremy felt the need for a nap since he didn't get much sleep in the hotel room last night. As he came through the doorway, he noticed a mound under Kevin's blankets. Shaking his head at Kevin for sleeping in so late, imagining his partying bash the night before, Jeremy yanked down his shorts and crawled under the covers in his t-shirt and briefs. At the noise, Kevin stirred. "Jeremy?" "Hey, Kevin. Go back to sleep." "What time is it?" "Eleven-fifteen." "Hi, Jeremy!" At the sound of a female voice, Jeremy rolled over and looked at his roommate's bed. "Crystal?" 186


"Yes, it's me!" "Jesus, almost incestuous, Kevin! Sleeping with Kelly's best friend?" "Hey!" Kevin defended, "At least she's single." "Kevin!" Jeremy chocked in shock. "What does that mean?" Crystal asked. "Nothing, go back to sleep. I'm still tired," Kevin replied. "Is Jeremy sleeping with a married woman?" "I said go to sleep, Crystal..." Kevin moaned and rolled over. Jeremy yanked the blanket over his head in annoyance and tried to close his eyes. **** After a two-hour nap, Jeremy woke to see Crystal brushing her hair and Kevin putting on his socks, sitting on his bed. When Kevin noticed Jeremy's eyes were open, he asked, "So? How did it go?" "Fine." Jeremy looked over at Crystal, who was very interested in the conversation. "I'll tell you about it later." "I didn't think you'd be home this early." Kevin found his shoes and slipped them on. "We're headed somewhere for lunch. Interested?" "No. Thanks." "Oh, your mom called while you were away. I didn't know what to tell her. I just said you were busy working on your homework." "When did she call?" 187


"Uh, yesterday afternoon. Around three? I can't remember. Something like that." "It was three," Crystal added, "It was right before we left for Tiffany's party." "Okay. Three." Kevin stood up and stuffed is wallet into his pocket. "Thanks," Jeremy replied. "You interested in dinner later?" Kevin asked before he left. "I don't know. If you're around, let me know what you're doing." "Right. See ya." "Bye, Jeremy!" Crystal shouted. Just as Jeremy curled under the blankets again he heard Crystal ask, "Who is this married woman he's seeing?" Groaning, Jeremy pulled the blanket back over his head and closed his eyes. **** The phone woke him. Jeremy checked the clock and found it was nearing two. "Hello?" "Jeremy? It's your mother. I called yesterday. Didn't you get the message?" "Oh? No, Kevin never said anything. Sorry. He's like that." He sat up and rubbed his face, yawning. "Did I wake you? You sound as if you were sleeping." "Just napping. I pulled an all-nighter studying last night." "Jeremy, I just wanted to let you know your father has finally agreed to enter the clinic." 188


"Oh. Good." "But, even though it's now voluntary, I would like you to still come with us to check him in. I think he needs his family around him to support him." "Okay." "Good. I was very pleased he changed his mind, Jeremy." "What did it?" "We watched something on the television about it. He argued with me in the beginning, saying he didn't want to watch it, but soon he was absorbed in it. Oh, when they dissected a diseased liver it really shocked him." "You'd think being in the medical profession he'd know all that." "I know. But sometimes they can't see it in themselves. Anyway, I won't keep you. I'll send a car up to get you next Saturday morning. Right?" "Okay." "Goodbye, dear." "See ya, Mom." He hung up, rubbing his face to try and wake up. **** Sitting on the couch with his books open on his lap and a cup of coffee in his hand, Jeremy looked up at the door as Kevin opened it. "Hey." "Hey." Kevin closed it behind him and threw his keys on the table. "Crystal? Are you insane?" Jeremy laughed at him. "I know ... I know..." 189


"She kissed me! She made out with Rocky!" "I know! I know!" Kevin shouted. "If you're trying to avoid a disease, you made a wrong turn down skanky street." "Hey! Not all of us have a hot married professor to screw! Some of us have to set our sights lower." Kevin dropped down on the couch next to him and leaned on Jeremy's shoulder, grinning. "So? Was it heaven?" "Oh, yes..." Jeremy replied. "Incredible sex?" "Incredible." "Damn! Married older women know so much more than these stupid co-eds. What did she do to you?" Jeremy finished his coffee and set it on the table in front of him. "I can't tell ya." "Yes, you can. It's not like you're revealing who she is." "Oh, and about that. Why did you say that I was seeing a married woman in front of Crystal? Now she'll tell everyone." "I can't help it, Jeremy, the information is too hot to contain. I don't get why you don't see it that way. You will be the envy of everyone. So stop being so stubborn and let me brag for you." "No! You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone and you said it right in front of that bimbo." "I'm sorry. Alright? But no one knows who she is, so what difference does it make?" "It makes a lot of difference. Now I'll never hear the end of it from the guys." "She won't tell anyone." 190


"Oh. Right." Jeremy snorted in disbelief. He closed his book and tossed it on the floor with a thud. "She'll open her big mouth and then everyone will be questioning me, just like you are. You wait. I swear, Kevin, I thought I could trust you." "I'll tell her I was joking. Don't worry. Now, what did she do to you? Come on. At least tell me something? Were you in a hotel? Overnight?" Seeing Kevin rubbing his hands together greedily, Jeremy shook his head and then gave in and smiled. "Yes. We were." "Yeah? Cool! What did you do? Tell me about the sex." "Are you crazy? I'm not going to tell you about it. It's personal!" "Come on! Did she suck you?" "Kevin..." Jeremy could not wipe the grin off his face. "Did she?" "Yes. Okay? Yes." "What was it like? Did she swallow?" Jeremy stood up off the couch on the premise of taking his cup to the sink. Following close behind, Kevin prodded, "Did she? Come on, Jeremy. Crystal won't swallow and Kelly wouldn't even suck it. Did she swallow?" After rinsing the cup and setting it in the drain-board, Jeremy wiped his hands on a dishtowel and found that wideeyed stare. "Yes. She did." "No! She did? Really? Oh, man I can cream myself! Who is she? It's Professor Jacobs, I just know it!" 191


"NO! For the millionth time it's not her. Stop asking me. You're really getting on my nerves, Kevin. I don't know what more I can tell you to get you to shut up." When Kevin started rubbing his crotch and moaning, Jeremy's eyes widened in surprise. "Jesus, Kevin! Go have a shower and jerk off." "I would kill to have a girl do that," Kevin whined. "Uh, Kevin, can ya stop playing with yourself?" "I can't help it! Damn!" Jeremy spun around to avoid watching him. He noticed his books scattered all over the room and began making neat piles of them to distract himself. "I'll be right back." When the bathroom door closed, Jeremy stood still, catching his breath. He didn't want to be excited, but it wasn't something he could help. The faint sound of grunting soon followed, then the sink faucet, then the toilet flushing. Imagining his adorable roommate fondling himself was sending disturbing shock waves over Jeremy's length. He had prided himself in being sensible around Kevin, never looking at him as a sexual object, just a friend. "Stop it," he chided himself, and then noticed his own hands doing what Kevin's had done just a moment earlier. Sitting down, stuffing his fingers under his thighs to stop touching himself, Jeremy tried to change the direction of his thoughts when the bathroom door opened and a much more relaxed man stepped out. "Better..." Kevin laughed. "Damn. That is exactly the kind of shit that cranks me up." Kevin dropped down next to Jeremy on the couch and leaned on his shoulder. 192


Jeremy couldn't look at his face, but took a discreet peek at his crotch. "Lucky shit," Kevin whispered. "I wish I had your looks. I could date a teacher if I looked like you." Exhaling a deep breath, Jeremy turned to face him. "You're not ugly, Kevin." "Yeah, but I'm not great looking either." "You kidding me?" "What?" "You are great looking. Why do you think you can sleep with so many women?" "Why? Because they're sluts, that's why. They're not even a challenge." "Bullshit. You think Tim is sleeping with anyone?" "I don't know." "Believe me, he's not." "You think Tim's ugly?" "Yes. Don't you?" "I don't know. I never thought of him that way. I don't really look at other guys and think of whether they're goodlooking or not. You know what I mean?" "Well, you keep saying I'm good-looking, I just thought—" "I'm not queer on ya, Jeremy." Kevin laughed, nudging him. "Or maybe I am. Mmm. I'm hot on my roommate." Staring at him in silence, Jeremy was trying to detect whether this was all just a silly joke, or underneath all this innuendo and double talk there was some real attraction.

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When Kevin shut his mouth and stared back at Jeremy expectantly, Jeremy actually thought his roommate was about to lean closer and kiss him. Finally Kevin burst out laughing and shouted, "Look at you. You've gone pale. I'm just joking, ya dork. I told ya, I'm not into the whole gay thing, so stop looking at me like you're going to have a heart attack." Resting his head back on the couch, Jeremy stared at the ceiling and tried to get his heart rate and breathing to slow down. At a squeeze of his thigh, Jeremy looked down and found a hand there. "So? What's for dinner?" Kevin asked, shaking his leg playfully. "Pizza? Fast food?" "Anything. I don't care." "Great. Let's go." Kevin stood up and grabbed his keys again. More slowly than his energetic roommate, Jeremy stood up and tried to think. He located his wallet in the bedroom on his nightstand and then ran his hand through his hair tiredly. When Jeremy returned, Kevin asked, "You okay? I was just joking with you, Jeremy. I didn't mean to insult you or anything." "No. No, you didn't, Kevin. I'm just tired, that's all." "Too much screwing overnight, eh? You hot fucker." When that male hand squeezed his ass tightly, Jeremy gasped and jumped, then ignored it, continuing on his way down the hall. [Back to Table of Contents] 194


Chapter Twelve Having waited impatiently for art history class to finally arrive, Jeremy bounded down the wide cement stairs enthusiastically to Kevin who was already in his seat. Seeing him sitting alone Jeremy searched the huge hall and spotted a miserable Kelly excommunicated to a back row. "Hey." Jeremy sat next to Kevin and set his pack on the floor. "Hey." Jeremy looked over his shoulder and whispered, "Kelly's giving us the evil eye. Does she know about Crystal?" "Yes. Of course. You think they keep quiet about it? They tell each other everything." Kevin took a discreet glance behind him, then turned his head to the front again quickly. "My luck she'll knife me when I'm not looking." "You'll have the same problem with Crystal, you know, when you dump her." "I know. They're all just stupid bimbos." As Jeremy took out his notebook he noticed his lover making his way across the front of the room to the podium. When they met eyes, Peter winked at him and gave him a very generous smile. Jeremy's face heated up instantly. "What's that all about?" Kevin asked Jeremy. "Huh?" Jeremy had no idea Kevin had noticed the gesture. "That look he gave you. And that wink. Did you see it?" "No. I must have missed it." "Then why are you all red?" 195


"Okay, people!" Peter shouted, "Wake up and tell me something about pointillism!" Jerking his hand up to avoid answering anymore of his roommate's questions, Jeremy was astonished when Peter called on him first. "Yes, Mr. West." Peter smiled adoringly at him. "Tell me about it. Who was the master of it?" Knowing that this personal exchange may have suddenly alerted his astute roommate, Jeremy racked his brains for the answer. "Uh ... Seurat? He did that famous scene in the park." "That's correct. What is it? What's the style?" "Dots. Lots of dots." Jeremy wished he had some ice water. He was boiling and his throat had gone dry. "Very good." Peter lit up a slide for everyone to see, then he turned around, saying, "As our handsome friend has so clearly stated, it is indeed dots." When Jeremy found his nerve, he peeked over at Kevin, who wasn't smiling. "What?" Jeremy asked him quietly. "Nothing," Kevin replied dryly. Wanting with every bone in his body to debate it, deny it, and to explain that they just were friends and got along well together, Jeremy had to wait for that conversation for another time since his love-struck teacher seemed unable to get enough of smiling at him this session. ****

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After a grueling fifty-five minutes, Kevin began packing his things away without a word. Jeremy tried to do the same quickly, and then said, "Kevin..." "I've got to get to Calculus. See ya later." When he left without any eye contact, Jeremy died inside. "Coffee?" Twisting around, Jeremy found Peter standing next to him. Instinctively Jeremy spun his head back to Kevin's direction, found Kevin staring at them, then watched as he vanished out into the hall. "Shit." "What? Coffee's no good?" "No. No, it's fine." Jeremy walked out into the sunlight with Peter, headed to Starbucks. "I can tell something's wrong, Jeremy." Brooding, staring at the sidewalk on the way there, Jeremy finally stared at Peter, accusing, "Why did you do that?" "Do what? What did I do?" Peter seemed completely bewildered. "He thinks something's going on now. My roommate thinks there's something between us." "How on earth could he? Don't be ridiculous, Jeremy. I didn't do anything I don't do normally in class. What? I'm not allowed to call on you? Give me a break." Peter opened the coffee shop door, allowing Jeremy to enter first. They stood in line silently and Peter offered to pay for his coffee. Jeremy didn't thank him, just waited until his latte was made and set out for him.

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Peter eventually made it to the seat at the counter next to him and stared at his profile wistfully. "Look, I'm sorry if I did something to arouse suspicion. I didn't do it intentionally." "It's not your fault." "Good. I'm glad. Jeremy, I didn't think I did anything at all in class. I'm still wondering what it was that made you so angry." "I don't know. Maybe there's just something in the way you look at me." Leaning closer, Peter whispered seductively, "Well, I do love you." Melting like an ice cube on a steaming summer sidewalk, Jeremy smiled at him sweetly. "Ditto." "I couldn't stop thinking about you, you know. After..." "Me neither." Jeremy wanted to touch him. "I called my lawyer yesterday. He's getting some papers written up. I'm working on it, Jeremy." "That's a relief." Jeremy sucked the remainder of his iced mocha down with a slurp. "He said all the things I longed to hear. Really. He didn't think she was entitled to too much. He figured a one-time payment of around twenty thousand should shut her up." "Twenty grand?" "Shh ... yes. Look, that's a small price to pay for my damn freedom. And it's only one fricken' painting." Jeremy's eyes widened. "Damn! I knew it." Jeremy caught Peter's wink. "Wow." "Don't get all sappy on me. I'm still a flash in the pan at the moment. I have no idea how long this success will last. I 198


have to bank and invest it now, while it's coming in. I may be last year's news at any time." "Well, you'll always be amazing to me." "Thank you. It means a lot coming from you, Jeremy. Oh! Gotta dash." Peter finished his drink and grabbed his things. "Okay, see you Friday? In sculpture class?" Jeremy asked. "Yes. What are you doing this weekend?" "Oh, I may be busy with family stuff. Why?" "Just curious. Never mind." Jeremy hopped up and followed him out of the shop. "Why? Why, Pete? What did you have in mind?" "I just figured once I served her with the papers, she wouldn't care what I did. Never mind. Take care of your family needs first. We'll work something out. Bye!" Watching him rush away, Jeremy's warm loving feeling dove into two forks of dread: One, his roommate and that look of mistrust, and two, having to go and deal with his father and mother when all he wanted to do was be with his lover. **** Dreading it, cringing every time someone walked past the dorm room door, Jeremy knew he needed everything he had to convince Kevin his suspicions were incorrect. When the clock read six-thirty, Jeremy had a second thought, that Kevin wouldn't come back at all, wanting to avoid him. Starving and in no mood for the crowd at the Hub, Jeremy picked up the phone and ordered a pizza, then went back to his work. 199


By ten p.m. Jeremy heard someone push a key in the door. Looking down at the empty pizza box and paperwork that was splayed out all over the coffee table, Jeremy stood up and folded the top of the white box down to throw it out and clean up. Kevin stumbled into the room, obviously very intoxicated. Jeremy waited for Kevin to acknowledge him. When he was ignored, Jeremy sighed tiredly and threw out the garbage he was carrying and then headed back to the living room to gather up his books and notes. After a moment Jeremy stopped what he was doing and stood up straight. Kevin was staring at him, swaying slightly. "What?" "Are you really gay?" "Kevin..." "Tell me, Jeremy!" he slurred, "Tell me the truth!" "No!" "You're lying to me!" Kevin pointed, trying to focus his eyes. "What do you want me to say, Kevin? Huh? You want me to tell you I am? Lose you as a roommate? Hear nothing but teasing and insults from all my friends? Huh? Is that what you want me to do?" "I want the truth," Kevin shouted, then reached back for the wall and leaned on it. "Look at the state of you. Is this all for my benefit? Are you that freaked out by it?" "Professor Foster sucked your cock. Right? Am I right? He's the married teacher. I'm right, I'm right!" 200


"No. It's not him." "Liar!" Kevin accused, trying unsuccessfully to stop swaying. "I can't stand you lying!" "You didn't talk about this with anyone, did you? Kevin, you didn't sit around the Hub with the gang and talk about this. Did you?" Jeremy approached him and grabbed Kevin's shirt collar. "No!" Kevin looked down at Jeremy's hands curiously. "I was alone. No one was even around. I sat and did tequila shooters and two fucking pitchers." "Jesus, Kevin, I'm surprised you can still stand." "I can't. I crawled here ... I think." Jeremy helped Kevin to his bed and sat him down. "Listen to me, Kevin. I really like you. I don't want this crap to come between us." "I like you too, Jeremy. You're my best friend." Jeremy stared at him. "I wanted to be honest with you, Kevin. But you make me afraid to be. I don't want to lose you. Not now. We get along really great. I don't want another roommate." "I love ya, man." "Stop it, Kevin. I'm serious. I can't even really communicate with you at the moment. You won't even remember any of this in the morning." "Oh, I will. I don't black out or anything, Jeremy. I will remember it. I don't want another roommate, but, what will I say to the guys? I can't sleep in the same room as a queer." "Why not? I'm not going to touch you, Kevin. For cryin' out loud. You don't want to touch every woman you see." 201


"Yes, I do." "Never mind, bad example." Jeremy looked up to see Kevin's smile. "Stop looking at me like you want to kiss me." "I never kissed a guy. What's it like?" "Kevin," Jeremy moaned. "Guys swallow. I know they do. Another reason to go with them." "Shut up." Jeremy laughed. "Lay down and sleep it off." Kevin dropped back on the pillows, moaning. "Are you going to be sick?" "Yes." "Shit. Come on." Jeremy helped Kevin up and led him to the bathroom. Just as he lifted the lid, Kevin folded over and vomited into the toilet. Jeremy sat next to him on the tile floor as Kevin emptied his stomach of alcohol. After what felt like a long bout of throwing up, Kevin finally stopped and sat back, leaning against the wall. Jeremy wet down a washcloth and wiped the sweat off his face, then gave Kevin a glass of water to rinse out his mouth. Kevin spit out the water into the toilet and Jeremy flushed down all the mess. "Sorry, man..." "You don't have to be sorry, Kevin. I just want to know things are okay between us." When those red-rimmed eyes met his, Jeremy held his breath at what Kevin would say. "You're okay, Jeremy. You're okay." "Thanks, Kevin. But, please, don't tell anyone. I couldn't bear the teasing." 202


"I won't. I won't." "Come on. Let me get you into bed." "I bet you say that to all the boys." Jeremy caught his mischievous grin. "Shut up," he laughed. Jeremy helped him to stand and almost had to carry Kevin to the bed. Once he sat him down, Jeremy pulled off Kevin's shoes and socks, then nudged him under the covers. "You okay?" "Yeah. Just need some shuteye." "Night, Kevin." "Night, Jeremy." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirteen Jeremy woke to the alarm buzzing painfully in his ear. Hearing Kevin's moan of agony, Jeremy could only imagine how Kevin was feeling after last night. Jeremy got up, shut off the alarm, washed, dressed, and made a pot of coffee. When he returned to the bedroom with a cup for his friend, Kevin opened his eyes and sat up slowly against the pillows. "Thanks, man." Kevin took the steaming mug. "No problem. Are you going to be able to go to class?" "I'll have to." He sipped the hot brew. "Are we okay?" Jeremy sat on the bed next to him. "Yeah. I just wish you hadn't lied to me." "Come on, Kevin. You sat there and told me if you had a gay roommate you'd have to get out of it. Remember? You thought he'd come on to you or that you'd be gay by association. What the hell was I supposed to do? I didn't want to lose you." "Professor Foster? Really? You screw Professor Foster?" "Does it gross you out?" "A little. I just don't really get it. I mean, he's really cool, don't get me wrong." "But?" "But, he's, like, older." "Not too much older. He's only in his early thirties. And I'm twenty-two. I mean, in the scheme of things, it's not that different. I'm older than his damn wife." "Shit! No kidding?" 204


"Yes. He just got a lawyer now to get divorced from her. I can't wait. She's nasty, Kevin." "As nasty as Kelly?" he laughed. "Worse!" "Man..." Kevin sipped more coffee, then mused out loud, "You screw Professor Foster..." Seeing he was amused, Jeremy stood up and left the room to make a cup for himself. Once he was in the kitchen stirring in some milk and sugar, Jeremy heard the scuff of a foot behind him and found Kevin's weary face and screwed up head of hair. "You look like shit." "I feel like shit." "Stay home sick. Get the notes from someone." "Nah, after a shower I'll be okay." "You want some toast? Or cereal?" Jeremy watched him cringe and rub his stomach. "At least eat some toast." Kevin nodded and topped off his coffee cup. "He sucks your cock?" "Kevin..." Jeremy sighed, sticking some bread into their toaster. "Damn. I'll never look at the guy the same way again." "Just don't say anything." Kevin pretended he was zipping his mouth closed. "Good. You know my life, and his, would be hell." "I can imagine." Kevin laughed, sitting down on a bar stool at the counter. "You're both insane." "No. We're in love." "You love this guy?" "I do." 205


"That's nuts." "I know." The toast popped up. Jeremy handed it to Kevin on a plate. "You want butter?" "No." Kevin cringed again, then nibbled the dry toast gingerly. "Does your mom and dad know you're gay?" "No. Just you. You and Peter." "Peter?" "Professor Foster." "Oh. Peter Foster, right." Kevin nodded. "What do you think your dad would do?" Kevin finished eating one slice of toast and picked up the second one. When the toaster ejected more bread, Jeremy stuck them on a plate and smeared peanut butter on them. "Kill me? Drink himself into stupor like you did? I don't know." "My dad would go ballistic. He's really conservative. He'd literally kill me." "See what I'm up against?" "Do you have a choice? I mean, can you not be gay?" "Not really. I just can't get a hard-on with a girl." "Really? Nothing at all?" "No. It takes everything I have, and I have to pretend I'm with a guy when I do it." "Then you have screwed women?" "Yeah. In high school I had a girlfriend and everything. We did it. It just felt so empty. I mean, I didn't want to really touch her." "Huh." Kevin brushed the crumbs off his hands and picked up his cup again. "It's really weird, you know, talking to someone who is." 206


"I hope it doesn't change anything between us, Kevin. I'd die, really." "Do ... do you look at me and have fantasies?" "No!" Jeremy shook his head. "No? Damn. You said I was pretty good-looking." "Shut up." Jeremy shoved him. Kevin held his aching head and moaned, then smiled at him. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Fourteen Jeremy had waited all week for this class. He and Peter hadn't spoken for the last two days. Jeremy entered the sculpture room, noticing a few students already there, hovering over their teacher as he demonstrated some techniques on the modeled clay figure he'd done. Setting his pack down, Jeremy stood next to his clay aperture and in the light of a new day he thought it looked rather sad. Pushing the plasticine around it with his thumbs, the model still resembled the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and bore no resemblance to the female model whatsoever. A warm aura surrounded Jeremy, sending the hairs to rise on his neck. A hand reached from over his shoulder, and as if by magic as it touched the clay, the form appeared to improve instantly. Dropping his arms to his sides, allowing the master to work, Jeremy enjoyed that heat and the sound of Peter's breathing behind him. Tingling at the slight brush of Peter's body as Peter worked to transform the gray sticky monster Jeremy had created into a female figure. Without a word between them, the connection was so strong Jeremy felt the sparks crackle on contact, like static electricity. **** Peter missed him. Even though it had only been two days, he missed him. Inhaling deeply for a scent of Jeremy's body, his shampoo, Peter wanted to give this man private lessons. 208


Knowing he had to move on before someone noticed anything odd, Peter leaned closer for one last good sniff, then stepped to the next student. **** Though Jeremy wanted their session to continue, he finally felt the coolness of the vacuum left behind when Peter moved away, then heard his summons, "Okay, people! Get to your easels! Let's go!" Coming back to reality, as if waking from a trance, Jeremy remembered to get an apron and turned to grab one from the stack on the table. As he did, he once again found Kelly's demonic glare. Returning it, Jeremy was just about to slip the apron over his head and get to work when she mouthed the word 'fag'. Showing his teeth in his snarl, Jeremy twisted away from her and gave his attention back to the naked model and his work. With uneasy paranoia, Jeremy glanced at her every time Peter made his way around the room to help him with his sculpting. At one point Peter whispered, "Is she watching us?" "Yes," Jeremy breathed quietly, not turning around. Jeremy heard Peter move away. Peter was already assisting the next pupil trying not to arouse any more suspicion than necessary. At the end of class, Jeremy draped his smock on the pile and wiped his hands on a paper towel. Peter walked near him and whispered, "Meet by the library bench?" 209


Nodding, Jeremy exited the class quickly, thinking everything was very normal until Kelly and another female classmate confronted him in the hall. "You know he's married," Kelly sneered. "It's sick." "Think of his wife." Cheryl flicked back her hair arrogantly. "I'll bet he'd get into trouble if someone told the dean what he was doing." "I don't know what you're talking about," Jeremy snarled. "Look, he's nice to everyone in class, not just me. And I resent you morons spreading gossip about him. He's a good guy. He doesn't deserve to be spoken about like that. So why don't you both just get a life." "Nice try, Jeremy," Kelly snorted back. "You can deny it all you want. We know the truth. Come on, Cheryl." Jeremy stood watching as they sauntered down the hall, his stomach feeling like an ice ball. Head down, feet dragging, he scuffed his way to the library bench and found Peter already there waiting. "What took you so long?" Dropping down beside him, Jeremy sighed, "I got delayed. Sorry." "Oh. Look, Jeremy, my lawyer is going to serve the papers to Linda soon. I just wanted to warn you. She will react badly, no doubt. So, if I seem a little worn or out of sorts, that's why." "Okay." When Jeremy felt Peter's hand on his shoulder he raised his chin and met Peter's eyes. "What's wrong?" 210


Jeremy sighed and looked behind him at the window first, seeing no one was spying this time. "Nothing." "It's that Kelly girl, isn't it?" "She's just a jerk, forget it, Pete. So, when's the next time we can get together?" "I was going to suggest this weekend, but you mentioned you had to go home." "Shit. I do." Jeremy rubbed his face tiredly. "I don't want to." Taking Jeremy by the shoulders, Peter physically twisted him to face him head on. "Look, Jeremy, stop beating yourself up over this. It's all too new and we don't need to rush. Think of where we'll be in a few months. I'll have Linda paid off and gotten her out of the house, and you'll have some weekends free to come and stay at my place." Jeremy actually felt a spark of hope. "You mean that?" Laughing softly, Peter smiled. "Yes." "No, I mean, you like me enough to think in terms of the future? Really?" As if Peter found that line amusing he smiled gently into his face. "Like you enough? Jeremy, I'm in love with you." "I ... I know you said it ... you know ... when I did ... but I thought it was just the kind of thing you say back to someone who's said it ... I didn't think you really did." "When you get to know me better, you'll see I don't say things in vain. To be honest, I think the only time I ever said it to Linda was when I was drunk on the night before our vows. Or at least that's what she keeps throwing in my face. I don't ever remember saying it to her." Peter checked his 211


watch. "Shit, I've got to go. Oh ... If I can get Linda out of the house by the gallery showing, maybe we could go to the Big Apple together. What do you think?" "Wow!" Winking at him, Peter waved and hurried to his lecture class. Jeremy paused a moment to let it sink in, then rose up to go to his next class, a big smile on his lips. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Fifteen Saturday morning a black town-car was parked outside Jeremy's dorm. He approached the driver and asked, "Are you here for Jeremy West?" "Yes." The man climbed out and opened the back door for him. Jeremy sat down in the back seat and tossed his pack next to him. Immediately the car began moving toward the highway. Not interested in idle chitchat, Jeremy daydreamed in the back seat as the landscape passed by and remembered his conversation with Kevin the night before. She's threatening to tell the dean, Kevin. What do you want me to do about it? Talk to her. Convince her it's a lie and she'll get in trouble. I'll try, Jeremy, but sooner or later this was bound to happen. Jeremy wanted to tell Peter, should have told him, but was petrified if Peter knew someone had made that threat, he'd break it off. Once again, the stress levels in his body were rising as the doubt resurfaced. After almost dozing in the back seat, Jeremy woke to see his parents' house the moment they turned the corner to their street. Jeremy half expected a welcoming party, or at least his mom standing on the porch. Unfortunately, no welcome home party materialized. Jeremy thanked the driver and walked up to the door. Using his key he opened it and heard 213


his mother already shouting at his father and it wasn't even nine o'clock. "...get ready, Wendell! We have to be there at nine-thirty! I don't want to be late. Oh! Is that the door? Jeremy? Is that you?" "Yes, Mom." He set his pack down in the living room and headed to the kitchen. His mother was sipping coffee, her hair pinned up from her face and her makeup seemingly heavier than normal for daytime. "Did the driver get there on time?" "Yes. He was parked out front when I stepped outside." "Good. Good. Go upstairs and make sure your father is getting ready." Nodding tacitly, Jeremy took the stairs two at a time and called out, "Dad?" He found him sitting on the end of his bed, looking defeated. Pausing before he entered, Jeremy sighed and then sat next to him. "You okay, Dad?" "I don't need rehab. I can stop drinking, Jeremy. I just don't want to. I only have a couple on the weekend." "Not a couple, Dad, a whole lot." "You're all against me." "No. We want you to be healthy and stay sober. That's not against you, that's for you." "I can stop on my own. I don't need help." "What's two days, Dad? Two days. Just try it." "I don't want my patients to know. I'd lose my practice, Jeremy." "How will they find out? No one knows you're going but us." When Jeremy looked up he spotted Pam staring at them. 214


"He's pathetic," she said. "Shut up. You think that's helping?" Jeremy snapped at her. Wendell sighed, "She's right, son. I am pathetic." A thundering shout was heard from the lower floor. "Wendell! Let's go!" Jeremy stood up from the bed and nudged his father. "Come on, Dad." Slowly Wendell rose up and with his shoulders hunched he made his way down the stairs. Jeremy paused at the doorway where his sister was standing. "You could be more supportive." "Why? He's such a loser." "He's not a loser. He's ill and he needs us for moral support." She snorted in disapproval loudly. "I'm wasting my day with him. Babysitting him." "Yeah? And how many days did he baby-sit you, you ungrateful bitch." "He didn't! Mom did!" she shouted, then Jeremy noticed a twinge of guilt pass wash over her expression. "Oh, just shut up and let's get this over with," she sighed. They marched down the stairs and through the front door, which was standing open. Pauline had placed a small overnight bag into the trunk and shouted, "Lock the door!" Jeremy nodded and double locked it, then followed his sister to the car. The moment they were seated and on their way, Pam began texting her friends on her phone, chewing and snapping her gum loudly. 215


"You all right, Dad?" Jeremy asked quietly. "He's fine, right Wendell?" Pauline answered for him. "Two days. That's all it is. Two days to listen to some counseling and stay dry. That's not a lot to ask, is it, Wendell?" Jeremy heard a small grunt from his father in reply. When Jeremy turned to look at his sister, she was sneering at him. "What?" he shouted in annoyance. "Stop playing with yourself!" Jeremy looked down first, then replied, "I'm just resting my hands on my lap. Why are you so obsessed with where my hands are? Jesus, Pam. Am I supposed to keep them elevated in the air for you?" "Cut it out, you two!" Pauline scolded, "We don't need this right now." "I can't help it, Mom. Every time I rest my hands on my lap she accuses me of playing with myself. She's cockobsessed." "Jeremy!" Pauline shouted. "She is." "Shut up, ya faggot!" Pam yelled. "You shut up," Jeremy shot back. Pauline screamed at the top of her lungs, "Stop it!" Jeremy slouched down in the seat and leaned his chin in his palm as he looked out of the window. He wanted to be away from these people and with Peter. Was that too much to ask? The clinic smelled of Lysol. Pauline took charge, as usual, and met the desk clerk to check his father in. Jeremy stood in 216


the background holding his father's bag as Wendell appeared pale and weak. "You know," Pam whispered, "Dentists have the highest suicide rate of all professions. Maybe he'll kill himself." "You're sick, you know that?" Jeremy was tired of hearing that statistic repeated to him constantly. He stepped back from her in annoyance. "Wouldn't it solve all our problems? We'd get his life insurance, and he'd be a memory." Blinking at her in disbelief, Jeremy whispered through tight lips, "He's our dad. You really don't mean that." "I do sometimes." Pauline shouted, "Jeremy! Jeremy, bring his bag over here." Jeremy handed it to an attendant, then reached to hug his father. "Good luck, Dad. Just listen to what they have to say at least." Once Jeremy released him he met his father's saggy eyes briefly, then stepped aside to allow his sister to say goodbye. She didn't bother at first, then as if having second thoughts, Pam gave her dad a brief hug. A moment later she walked to the front window and peered out, checking her phone for messages. "Goodbye, dear." Pauline kissed her husband. "We'll be here to pick you up Sunday night." Jeremy cringed. He had no idea he was expected to stay all weekend again. The family stood by as Wendell followed quietly behind a man in a white coat. Then Jeremy noticed his mother seemed very still, almost as if she weren't a living breathing thing. Reaching out, Jeremy touched her arm and 217


when she met his eyes he found tears in them. "Come on, Mom." Jeremy put his arm around her shoulders and walked back out to the car with her. "I'll drive." When she nodded, he opened his hand for the key. Pam sat in the back seat, twirling her hair and looking out of the window. Jeremy paused before starting the car. Watching his mother as she wiped her nose and eyes with a tissue, he sighed tiredly, then ignited the engine. "Did you have breakfast, Mom?" "No, dear, just coffee." "Should we stop at a pancake house?" "If you'd like, dear." Pam whined, "I want to go home. I don't want to hang out with you guys all day." "Just an hour. Let Mom eat. Jesus, Pam, are you part of this family or not?" Jeremy shouted, looking in the rear view mirror at her. "Shut up," Pam responded, then bit her lip and looked as if she may cry. Seeing his mother losing the battle of her emotions as well, Jeremy reached to touch her hand and whispered, "Should I just make you something at home?" "I don't care, Jeremy. Whatever you think is best." Putting the car into drive, Jeremy headed for home, if for nothing else, to stop his sister's constant whining. When they pulled into the driveway, Pam darted out and was inside her room before Jeremy had even gotten his mother through the door. Jeremy sat his mom down in the 218


kitchen and poured her some coffee from the leftover in the pot. "Toast?" "I'm not very hungry, Jeremy." "Just toast." Opening the refrigerator, he took out the bread and butter, then put two slices in the toaster. While they browned Jeremy sat down next to her and stared at her weary face. "He feels betrayed, Jeremy." She sipped her coffee slowly, staring into space. "He needed this, Mom. You had no choice." "Unfortunately, he didn't think he did. He was so angry with me." "But, he did agree to go. Right?" "Yes, reluctantly." "Mom, he'd lose his practice. You know, by Monday he must reek of alcohol." "He gargled all morning. He knew he smelled." The toast popped and Jeremy rose up and set it on a plate, in front of his mother. She stared at it but made no move to eat. "His father was an alcoholic. You know that ... right?" "Yes, Mom." "And your Uncle Hal died of liver disease. I had to do it, Jeremy." "Stop blaming yourself, Mom. Eat a little." He nudged the plate closer to her. She picked up one slice and nibbled at it. "How are you, dear? How are your classes going?" Biting his lip, Jeremy wanted so much to share his life with her, to tell her what he was doing and who he was doing it with. But looking at her face, he just didn't know if she could 219


stand one more thing. "Fine. They're going well. I like my teachers." "Good. I'm very glad, Jeremy. We have high hopes for you, you know. We know your sister won't amount to much, but you, Jeremy, we know how intelligent you are." "Thanks, Mom. Pam is pretty smart, too, she just has too much ego. I'm convinced this is just a faze and she'll be all right." "Yes, I suppose." "Mom?" "Yes, dear?" Shifting in his seat, Jeremy felt there would never be a right time, so why not? "Mom ... I ... I need to just tell you something. Something I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I know because of what's going on with Dad this weekend it might not be the exact time to do it, but, I can't think of when it will ever be a good time." Setting her cup down, Pauline met his eyes, as if waiting for an explanation. Swallowing down his terror, Jeremy whispered, "I'm gay, Mom." As he studied her face, she seemed to be either digesting it, or deciding if she heard it right. "Mom?" "Yes, Jeremy." "You hear me?" "Yes, Jeremy." "You want to kill me now? To disown me?" Sitting up, inhaling deeply, Pauline met his eye and said, "Look, Jeremy, as long as you're happy. I'm not going to kill you or disown you. I had my suspicions about it." 220


"Really? I had no idea it would be this easy. I thought I would really get a verbal beating for it." "I can't say I'm not slightly disappointed. I did want to see you married and have children." "I'm sorry, Mom." "Don't be. I suppose it's not something you can help." Breathing a sigh of relief, Jeremy smiled gently, and said, "No. I can't. You know I dated Karen in high school. I did try, Mom." "She was a sweet girl." "She was. I had nothing against her. She was a good friend." "But?" "But, no sparks. No attraction. And I thought maybe it was just her. But it was the same with everyone I dated." "Have you dated a boy?" Pausing, looking down at the cold plate of toast, Jeremy put the words together in his head first, then met her eyes. "Just lately. He's the first man I've actually had a relationship with, you know, other than just one date." "At school?" "Yes?" "Is it with that nice looking boy who is your roommate?" Smiling shyly, Jeremy said, "No, Mom, Kevin's straight. I did tell him though and he's okay with it." "Why shouldn't he be okay with it?" "You kidding?" Jeremy laughed. "Who is it? What's his name?" 221


"His name is Peter Foster. He's one of the professors, Mom." When she didn't respond, Jeremy stared at her curiously. She seemed to pale a little. "How old is he, Jeremy?" The bitterness of the tone surprised him a little. "Only a few years older than me. He's really exciting. He's a professional artist." She seemed to know he was lying about the age gap, but didn't push it. Jeremy thought perhaps she just didn't have the energy. "What will Dad think? Will he be as cool as you about it?" "Don't worry about your father, Jeremy. He's not that horrible. He'll be disappointed but he won't make you miserable. He's too worn out from all his own problems and his work. I have to say this, though, Jeremy, he will be hurt by it." "I figured he would. I just can't stand lying to you. I can't tell you how long I've waited to tell you this. I just couldn't find the right moment. I was really afraid, Mom." She cupped his face and tried to give him a weak smile. "You're a good boy. I've no complaints, Jeremy." "Mom, why don't you go lay down. You look really tired." "I will. Don't let me nap too long, though." "Okay." Jeremy watched as she moved stiffly, then heard the creak of the stairs. With his eyes softly focused he felt some of the strain leave his body. The weight off his shoulders from that confession was immense. "Now I wish I had told her years ago," he mumbled to himself at the irony. 222


Checking his watch, he sighed, then found his backpack and opened it to get his books out and get some reading done. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Sixteen Sunday night the driver let Jeremy off at his dormitory entrance. Scuffing his feet down the carpeted hall, he found his way to his room and opened the door with his key. "Hey." Kevin was sitting on the couch reading. "Hey." Jeremy closed the door and dropped his belongings to the floor. "How'd it go?" "Okay. Dad seemed pretty good when we picked him up for dinner earlier today. He had a shit load of pamphlets and some appointments with a group from AA." "You look like crap." Kevin set his book on the coffee table and stared at him. Jeremy collapsed down on the couch next to him and exhaled a deep breath. "I told them I was gay." "No shit? And?" "Well, Mom said she was okay with it when I first told her, but then she gave me the cold shoulder all weekend. And Dad wouldn't look me in the eye once she'd let him know." "Bummer." "I suppose it was still better than I expected. I mean, they didn't have a fit and throw me out or disown me." "True." Kevin stretched his back and yawned. "Man, if it was my dad, he'd kick my ass." "I don't know what I expected, but at least it's done." "Did you eat?" Kevin looked at his watch. "I did. Why?" 224


"I had some hamburgers earlier, but I'm hungry again." "Anything in the cabinets? Munchies?" "Nothing interesting." Jeremy rubbed his face and then sighed, "To be honest, Kevin, I'm thinking of showering and going to bed." "It's only eight." "I know. But I feel like the stress of the weekend took it all out of me." When he didn't hear a reply he looked over at Kevin. Kevin was staring at him. "What?" "You talk to Professor Foster at all?" "No. I don't like to bother him on his weekends. I'll see him Tuesday in art history class." When Kevin still stared at him, Jeremy asked, "What?" "I don't know. I just can't get over you and him together. It's just weird, that's all." "It's not that weird, Kevin." Jeremy kicked off his shoes and stood up, headed to the bathroom. Before he closed the door he heard Kevin ask, "Which one of you is the woman?" "Shut up!" Jeremy laughed, then stripped for the shower. When Jeremy stepped out of the bathroom, he heard Kevin talking on the phone. Jeremy slipped into the bedroom and dropped the towel, putting on clean gym shorts and a t-shirt. As he was bringing the towel back to the bathroom he heard Kevin say his name to the person on the other end of the line. Pausing, he found his look of concern on Kevin's face and couldn't imagine whom Kevin was talking to. Too drained to stand around and wait for the explanation, Jeremy hung up the towel over the shower rod, then set his alarm clock and climbed into bed. 225


In a few minutes Kevin appeared at his doorway. "You up?" "Yeah." Kevin entered the room and sat down on his own bed. "That was Crystal." "So?" "So ... she was talking to Kelly." "Kevin, I'm a little tired right now. Can it wait?" "Jeremy, the rumor has hit campus." Jeremy felt his skin go cold. "What rumor?" "About you and Foster." Jeremy's chest tightened and his palms went clammy. Staring in the dimness at the outline of his roommate, Jeremy wondered what a heart attack felt like and if he was about to have one. "Jeremy?" "What do you want me to do, Kevin?" "I don't know. I thought you'd react more." "What exactly did Crystal say?" Jeremy sat up higher on his pillows. "She said that Kelly has been telling everyone that you and the professor are having an affair." "Little fucking witch," Jeremy mumbled. "How would she know for sure, Jeremy? I don't get it." "She watches us like a hawk in sculpture class. And she once spotted us on the bench behind the library." "Doing what? What did you do? Hold hands? Kiss?" "No. We didn't do anything. She just assumed something on her own." 226


"Damn!" Kevin laughed uneasily. "I didn't think she was that smart. She comes off as such an airhead." "Crap." Jeremy buried his head in his pillow. "Just deny it." "Yeah, whatever ... let me sleep, Kevin." "Okay." Kevin stood up, looking back at Jeremy. "Sorry, Jeremy." "It's not your fault. But thanks." When the door shut, Jeremy stared at the digital clock on his nightstand and tried not to worry. Yes, he'd just deny it. Why would anyone believe it anyway? [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seventeen Monday morning as Jeremy hurried to his computer science class he had the oddest sensation everyone was staring at him. Convincing himself it was just paranoia, he kept his eyes down, and tried to believe people were sensible and would know ridiculous gossip when they heard it. "Yo! Jeremy!" Jeremy raised his head to Rocco's smile. "Hey, Rocky." "Where were you all weekend? We were in the Hub and you never showed." "I had a family matter to deal with. I was home." "Oh. We thought you were with your boyfriend." Standing taller in defense, Jeremy assessed Rocco's smirk, looking around the busy hallway before he answered. "What's going on, Rocky? What's with the comment?" "You and Professor Foster. Word is you two are an item." "We're not. So whatever you heard, forget about it." "Oop! Gotta go! Don't worry, Jeremy! I don't mind if you're gay." Rocco waved and dashed down the hall. Rubbing his face tiredly, Jeremy made his way class, his nerves shot, his head pounding. Barely sitting through his class, unable to focus or manage to raise his hand to answer a question, Jeremy kept getting a butterfly sensation in his midsection at the thought of something happening to Peter because of these rumors that were now circulating around campus. 228


Finding the tiny piece of scrap paper in his wallet with Peter's phone number on it, it was all he could do to stop himself and be patient and wait one more day to see Peter in class. When the lesson ended, Jeremy walked to the hall and onward to his next class. He felt sick to his stomach and wished he could go back to the dorm and sleep. "Hey! West!" Tim shoved Jeremy as he passed him. "Nice weekend with your art teacher?" Before Jeremy could answer, Tim's raucous laughter was echoing down the hall. **** When lunchtime arrived, Jeremy hunted the campus for Kelly. Shoving back doors and slamming them loudly against walls, Jeremy stormed into the Hub and looked around the crowded room for her. Seeing her laughing, throwing her head back with robust delight, Jeremy ground his jaw and made a beeline toward her, disregarding the group of girls she was with. Grabbing Kelly by the front of her shirt, he dragged her up to her feet as she gasped in astonishment. "I need to talk to you! Now!" "Jeremy! Let go!" she replied fearfully. Ignoring the murmur of protest from the girls around them, Jeremy dragged her out of the Hub and into a hallway as Kelly dug in her heels and tried to pry Jeremy's hands from her blouse. Once they were away from the lunch crowd, Jeremy pinned Kelly against the wall, snarling, "I should kill you..." 229


"Let go! You're hurting me!" "Why? Why did you have to spread all that gossip about me? Huh? What did I ever do to you?" "Jesus, Jeremy! Why are you so scared? Huh? Afraid something will happen to you and your boyfriend?" Restraining the urge to strike her, Jeremy leaned close to her face, hissing, "Just leave me the hell alone, you hear me? If I hear you've been spreading any more crap about us on campus, you'll be very sorry." "Oh, yeah? What will you do? Beat me up?" "Don't push me." "Oh, let go and drop the tough act. You know it's not a lie. Just admit it and no one will even care." She tried to get away from him. "This is my last warning, Kelly. I mean it." Jeremy shoved her back and Kelly stumbled to catch her balance, glaring at him. Before Jeremy heard another word from her, he turned away and stormed out of the building. **** By six PM, Jeremy was sitting on the couch in his dorm room, attempting to read and finish his homework. A noise at the door broke his concentration. As Jeremy waited, Kevin came in and found him sitting there. "Hey." "Hey." Jeremy ran his hand through his hair. "You okay?" "Yeah." 230


"I heard what you did to Kelly," Kevin said. "I doubt it'll make a difference." "I know. I at least had to try." "She knows you won't hurt her." Kevin pulled a plastic bag out of his pack and then showed Jeremy a can of beer. "Want one?" "Yeah. Thanks." Jeremy set his book aside and took the offered brew. After Kevin popped one open, he sat next to Jeremy on the couch. "You think now that everyone knows your secret it'll drive you crazy?" "I'm more afraid for Pete. After a while I know I can get used to it, but what about him?" Kevin noisily slurped the beer, then said, "He'll be okay. It's not like you're sixteen, Jeremy." He laughed. "But still..." Jeremy took a long swallow of the beer. "It'll all blow over. You'll see. It's not that big a deal to be gay, anymore. There's even a gay group on campus. No one gives a shit." "Ha. You didn't say that the first time we talked about it ... never mind, look, I know what you're saying, and I appreciate it, but, it's still a married professor having an affair with a student. The administration is bound to get wind of it and he'll get the crap, not me." "Well, he took that chance. He has to pay the consequences." Jeremy stared at Kevin in annoyance. Kevin shrugged in reply. Jeremy whispered, "That's supposed to make me feel better?" 231


"No. It's just reality. Look, Jeremy, it would be the same if you were a woman. Believe me." "No. It'll be worse for him that it's a homosexual relationship. Don't tell me it would be the same." "Just don't worry about it. Maybe nothing will happen and if it does, you guys will deal with it." Staring at the printing on the beer can, Jeremy sighed, "I just hope you're right." After a long moment of quiet drinking, Kevin leaned on Jeremy's shoulder and with a wicked smirk on his face asked, "So, what exactly do you guys do?" "Kevin..." Jeremy rolled his eyes. "I can't help it! It's like an alien world to me, Jeremy." "Alien world? You're insane." "Do you really stick your dick up his ass?" "You know," Jeremy turned to face him full on, "If I didn't know you so well, I'd think you're turned on by my relationship with him." "What? No way." Kevin laughed uncomfortably. "Yes way. You've been fascinated by it ever since you knew. Do you really want me to sit here and describe my sexual contact with another man? Is that what you're asking me?" "I'm just curious, okay? I mean, I have an idea what might go on, but in reality, I don't know. Can't a guy be curious without you getting suspicious?" "No. Not you. Most guys are so turned off or paranoid the last thing they'll want is a blow-by-blow description of homosexual sex. Pun intended." 232


Kevin rested his head on the back of the couch and stared off into space. Then he finally said, "Maybe I am curious." Jeremy whipped his head around to view Kevin's profile. "Curious? As in wanting to try it yourself curious?" "No!" Kevin glared at him. "I don't want a dick up my ass." "You want one in your mouth?" "No!" "You want another guy to suck you?" Since Jeremy didn't get a resounding 'No!' he stared at Kevin curiously. When he didn't hear any reply at all, Jeremy nudged Kevin to answer. "Hello?" "Huh?" Kevin suddenly appeared guilty for his thoughts. "I asked if you wanted another guy to suck your dick and you didn't answer." "I'm still thinking about it." Sitting back from him in surprise, Jeremy replied, "Really?" "Yeah. I mean, guys swallow, right?" Jeremy started laughing. Sitting up to see his face, Kevin tilted his head and asked, "What? What's so funny?" "Nothing ... nothing at all." Jeremy smiled. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eighteen Tuesday morning Jeremy and Kevin walked across campus together to the art history lecture hall. Jeremy couldn't wait to see Peter and talk to him about what'd been going on. Kevin spotted Kelly in the hall and elbowed Jeremy so he'd notice her. Both men gave her a nasty glance and passed by her on their way into the room. They took their seats up front and sat waiting while the noise level and acoustics echoed around the large hall. Checking the time, Jeremy noticed it was ten minutes after the hour. "Shit. He's late." "Not too late." Kevin looked at his own watch. Gnawing his lip, Jeremy kept his eyes toward the door Peter usually entered through. After another ten minutes, several of the students began leaving. "He's twenty minutes late, Kevin," Jeremy said. "I know. I don't think he's showing, Jeremy." "Damn! Damn!" Jeremy rubbed his face and hair in frustration. "I'd call him, man. Call him and see what's up." Nodding, Jeremy stayed planted in his seat while the class emptied behind him. "I'm outta here. You coming?" Kevin repacked his books and stood. "No. You go. I need to sit and think a minute." "Okay. I'll catch you later. Lunch?" "I'll let you know." 234


Nodding at him, Kevin then left. As the echoing noise around him slowly receded, Jeremy sat alone in the lecture hall trying not to panic. **** "I want you to know we don't take this type of allegations lightly, Peter." Sitting heavily in the leather chair in the dean's office, Peter kept losing track of Mr. Finch's monologue. The room felt stuffy and warm, the sunlight was dim through the slit in the heavy curtains. On the walls were various awards and certificates and a painting that Peter considered neo-horrible. Something resembling rust and beige squares on brown canvas. It made him cringe. That kind of taste, from the dean of the art department? It was embarrassing. Peter knew eventually it would come to this. Rubbing the light stubble that had grown on his jaw overnight, Peter had always fought with authority and resented anyone who tried to tell him how to live or behave. Mr. Finch was no exception. "...if this rumor gets beyond the campus arena we'd no doubt have to expect something to appear in the local papers. There's a hunger for this kind of unsavory publicity when it comes to teacher/student relations, and I'm surprised you're so unaware of the implications..." Peter stifled a yawn, rubbing his eyes as well as his jaw. This man didn't care if the gossip was true. Mr. Finch had resisted giving Peter tenure for years. A successful artist was never popular with the rest of the struggling art faculty. "...so you see the dilemma, Peter, that I am faced with." 235


Standing up for what he had to say, Peter very boldly stated, "It's not a rumor. It's true. I'll pack my shit and get out of your hair." The shocked look on Mr. Finch's face didn't surprise Peter either. He fully expected it. Stammering, Mr. Finch seemed to be a bobbing head toy as he nodded and made some grunting sounds. "I love the guy, Finch. I'm not going to be shy about it. And this marriage thing ... well, I'm almost free of her, so it's only a matter of time before we can be seen in public. I'm not afraid of anyone, or anything, Finch. I've always gone my own way in life. I suppose this is no different. I apologize if it's caused the college any embarrassment." "Well ... it's all hearsay at the moment, Peter. I don't think there will be anything more to be said about it. I wish it didn't have to be this way." Pausing, Peter then made eye contact once more and asked, "Is it the homosexual nature of it that scares you? Or?" "No! No..." Mr. Finch was quick to reply. "It's the infidelity. Peter, the students here are not children. They are all of consenting age. Though I am against student-teacher relationships on the whole, I am not so naïve as to believe they don't occur. I just hoped my faculty would be discreet and not make too much of a fuss over it. It does tend to distract the students, as you already know." "Oh. So, the fact that I am gay has no bearing." Peter knew he was lying. But in the days of political correctness, no one would utter a disparaging word. 236


"None whatsoever." "So, once I'm divorced and I go public with my partner, I can reapply for my job?" Peter waited. When no answer was forthcoming and the look on Mr. Finch's face told more than his mouth could, Peter nodded in understanding. "Right. I get it." "It's not what you think." "No. It never is." Peter moved to the door. "I'll write up a brief resignation letter." "Thank you, Peter. I hope you understand." "No. Quite frankly, I don't. But, I don't need this job. It was a labor of love coming here and teaching. And I'm in no mood for a court battle. I've enough of that with my divorce." "I'm sorry, Peter." "If I cared enough about this place, you would be sorry, Finch. You would be." Leaving without looking back, Peter wondered how Jeremy was. By now Jeremy would know Peter was not coming to class. He checked his watch and headed to the faculty lounge to collect anything he had left there before he headed home. **** Using a public phone in a crowded lobby, Jeremy dialed Peter's home phone; no one answered. He didn't leave a message. Hanging up, he folded the scrap paper back into his wallet and headed out into the sunlight. Sick with worry, Jeremy cut his next class and walked to Peter's house to wait there for him. 237


At four o'clock Peter's SUV pulled into his driveway. Jeremy stood up from the curb he was seated on a few houses away and waited to make sure Peter was alone. The moment he found he was, Jeremy sprinted to him. "Pete!" Peter spun around and smiled at him. "You weren't in class. What happened?" Jeremy searched Peter's expression for some sign of stress. "I know. Sorry, babe. I had an appointment with the dean." "Shit. I knew it." "Don't worry about it." "Don't worry?" Jeremy choked in a sad laugh. "Hey, I didn't want this job permanently." "No, don't tell me you got fired." Peter checked his watch and then tilted his head to his truck. "Linda may come home. Come on, jump in." Once they were on their way, Jeremy turned toward Peter and stared at him with concern. "There's a county park a few miles down this road. Let's go there to talk," Peter said. Waiting, Jeremy tried to be patient and not believe he could be the reason this man lost his job. Peter pulled into a vacant parking lot and turned off the engine. After he removed his seat belt, Peter moved away from the steering wheel and reached for Jeremy. "First of all, can I say I've missed you?" Jeremy smiled. "Same here." Peter kissed him quickly, then leaned back against the window of the driver's side door so he could relax as he 238


spoke. Jeremy scooted closer and placed his hand on Peter's leg. "Right," Peter began, "Well, it seems our little monster went to the dean with her nasty insinuation." "Kelly?" "Yes, I assume so. And to be honest, Jeremy, one doesn't have to be proven guilty in this game. An accusation is as good as a conviction." "Oh, Christ, Pete..." "Well, it was no good denying it, Jeremy. I just kept my mouth shut as Dean Finch rambled on, then I admitted it. I don't have tenure so they could have found any reason to let me go anyway." "Mid-semester? Just like that?" "Just like that. Look, Dean Finch hates my guts anyway. He's always wanted to be an artist and live off his work but he's never been good enough. The man is so frustrated he can't pee straight. He was loath to hire me, but needed a warm body to fill the niche. Now he's got his reason to can me." Peter shrugged. "So what? I need the time to do my painting." "But, it's not fair. What about the money from the job?" "I don't need the money. Jeremy, it wasn't very much for two or three classes a week. It's not going to break me." "I'll miss you. You were the best professor I ever had. Ever will have. I liked both your classes and not just because we're a couple." Peter reached for Jeremy's hand and squeezed it. "I take that as a wonderful compliment." "What's happening with Linda?" 239


"She took my offer. She's in the process of moving out. I just don't want you and her to meet up again." "She's moving out?" Jeremy brightened. "Yes. You see? Life isn't so bad." Peter smiled at him. Giving the deserted parking area a good scan, Jeremy then crawled over the bench seat to rest his body on top of Peter's. When Jeremy leaned on Peter's lap, Jeremy found Peter's lips and kissed him. Instantly Peter's hands went into Jeremy's hair and caressed the back of his head as their passion grew. Parting for a breath, Jeremy asked, "So, you really missed me?" "Oh, yes..." Peter smiled contentedly. "It's going to suck not having you around campus." "Not necessarily." Jeremy paused, waiting for an explanation. Peter petted back Jeremy's hair from his eyes and whispered, "When Linda's out, you want to move in?" "You sure?" Jeremy's heart skipped a beat. "I'm very sure." Jeremy found his lips again and sucked on his tongue and mouth in bliss. Feeling Peter shaking with laughter, Jeremy parted from him to see his expression. And laughing out loud, Peter said, "I take that as a yes?" "Yes! Are you kidding me?" "Good. I'm very glad." Jeremy wrapped his arms around his neck and drew him closer for more wet kisses. Jeremy was so happy a tear ran down his cheek. **** 240


When Jeremy arrived home, Kevin was waiting for him. "Hey." "Hey. What happened? Did you get in touch with Professor Foster?" Jeremy shut the door and approached Kevin, who was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table. "Yeah. He's cool." "Cool?" Jeremy relaxed on the sofa next to him and smiled. "He said he didn't want the job anyway. He makes enough as an artist." "Really? They fired him? That's unbelievable. Can't he sue or something? Isn't it discrimination?" "I don't think he cares anyway." "Huh. I thought he'd be really upset. It's a bummer he'll be gone. Who will they get to replace him?" "I don't know." After a moment, Kevin said, "You got laid, didn't you?" "What? Shut up." Jeremy looked away, grinning. "You saw him. You saw him and you guys did something." "How the hell do you know?" Jeremy gaped at him. "I can see it in your face. You look completely relaxed. Believe me, you didn't look that way for the last two days. Jesus, Jeremy, I guess you had a good 'chat' with him." "He's asked me to live with him." "No way." "Yes, way." "You going to?" 241


"Are you kidding?" Jeremy laughed at the absurdity. "But, what about me? I don't want another roommate." "Oh. Sorry, Kevin." "That's not fair." "What's not?" Jeremy twisted on the couch to face him. "When you told me you were gay, you said you didn't want me to complain and get another roommate. Remember? Well, now the shoe's on the other foot, so to speak." "Kevin, come on. If I live with him I can have sex every night." "At least wait till the end of the semester. Besides, didn't your parents pay for this dorm room in advance?" "Don't pull that guilt trip on me. You won't get another roommate mid-session anyway. You'll have the place to yourself." "I like living with you." Blinking his eyes at him, Jeremy said, "But you can have Crystal here all the time." "She's a moron." "Are you like a closet gay or something?" "I don't know. I don't think so." "Well, let me think about it, okay? It may take some time for his soon-to-be ex-wife to move out. So, at least until Christmas break." "He's getting a divorce?" "Yes." "So he can be with you?" "Uh, well, he's getting a divorce because he wants to. I don't think I'm really the reason." 242


"Huh." "You want me to order a pizza?" Jeremy stood. "Yeah, okay." Nodding, Jeremy found the menu with the telephone number on it and dialed. As he made his order, Jeremy turned back to see Kevin staring at him. Trying not to let it distract him, Jeremy thanked the man on the phone and then hung up. "Thirty minutes." "Okay ... you going to tell your parents you're moving in with him?" "No." "What if she calls here?" "Let's worry about that later. I can't think of everything right now." "Right. Sorry." Jeremy headed to the bathroom to pee and wash his face. When he returned, Kevin was staring into space. As Jeremy sat back down next to him he drew Kevin's attention. "I will miss you around here," Kevin whispered. When Kevin put his hand on Jeremy's thigh, Jeremy looked down at it first, then replied, "I'll still be around." "Right. We'll still be buddies. We can have pizza together." "I'll invite you 'round." "Yeah? Around to Professor Foster's house?" "Why not?" "That'd be pretty cool." "Right. I've got a ton of work to do." "Me too." 243


Jeremy went to retrieve his books. When he sat down he received Kevin's smile. Jeremy returned it and opened the heavy textbook to read his assignment. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nineteen Jeremy stood next to his bed with the telephone to his ear. "I can't, Mom. Not this weekend." "Why, Jeremy? We're celebrating your father being sober for one month." "I know, Mom, but there's a teacher of mine who's having an art show in the city and a few of us have offered to go." "The city? You mean, New York?" "Yes, New York. I promised him I would go." "I don't see how a teacher's art show takes priority over your father—Oh, wait a minute. Is this the teacher you're having an affair with?" Swallowing down a dry throat, Jeremy whispered in reply, "Yes. So, you see how important it is to me." When silence followed, Jeremy said, "Look, Mom, I know it's a milestone for dad. I do. But, one favor, that's all I ask. You know I come running home every time you ask me to. Don't I? Even though I have an enormous amount of work this semester, I come home. Please don't treat me as if I'm some rotten son who is ungrateful and doesn't do things for the family." "I'm not doing that." "Not intentionally." Jeremy thought he heard someone at his door and tried to listen from the bedroom. "Fine. If you can't make it, you can't make it." The sound of irritation in his mother's voice was more than obvious. "Can I just take a rain check and see you guys the weekend after?" 245


"Fine. Let me go." "Bye, Mom." When he hung up he took a moment to think about the conversation, then thought he heard someone at the door again. Jeremy walked through the living room and opened it up. "Pete?" "It is your room!" Peter smiled brightly. "Christ, I wasn't sure. The damn numbers are off." "I know. I thought about using marker to write them in, but never got around to it. Come in." Jeremy looked behind Peter, into the hall, and caught a few curious eyes before he closed the door. "Well..." Peter looked around the room. "It's exactly what I expected." "Sorry. I suppose Kevin and I aren't the best of housekeepers." "It's all right." "You have time to sit down?" Jeremy gestured to the couch. Nodding, Peter took a seat after pushing some books aside. "I guess I could have called, but I figured, screw it. I'm already out of a teaching job, what more can they do to me?" Finding that irresistible grin on Peter's face, Jeremy sat down next to him and replied, "I'm glad you're here. It feels great having you in my room." "Does it?" Peter smiled wryly. "Good. Anyway, I wanted to get us sorted on the trip to New York." Jeremy nodded for him to go on. "I figured it'd be easier if I just picked you up from here." "Is she still at the house?" Jeremy touched his leg. 246


"Yes. You believe it? I've never seen a woman so slow when it comes to packing up. I even packed everything I thought she owned into boxes for her. Oh well, I can't get the cops to throw her out and she's really almost out anyway." "I don't get it. Why would she want to hang around where she's not wanted?" "Just to irk me. Never mind. Believe me, Jeremy, by Halloween she'll be gone." "One week?" Jeremy moved his hand to Peter's hair, cupping his head, intending on a kiss. "Yes. Promise." Peter leaned forward, going for that kiss. Peter's taste drove Jeremy wild. It felt like ages since they had sex. With Linda still lurking, Jeremy's schoolwork, and Peter's painting, they never seemed to have that chance. Finally, Jeremy thought, I'm kissing him again. Slowly urging Peter to slide back on the couch, Jeremy rested his body weight on top of him and pushed his pelvis into Peter's. "Oh, God, Pete, you're incredible." "You read my mind, Jeremy ... Christ, you're amazing." Moving his fingers downward, Jeremy opened Peter's jeans and slipped his hand inside them. When he contacted Peter's hot cock, Jeremy felt his skin break out in chills. Their kissing reached a frenzied peak. Groaning, panting for breath between gasps, Jeremy had Peter's cock exposed and was pulling on it, yearning for it to come. "Should we move to your bed?" Peter breathed between kisses. "Yes..." "You have a rubber?" 247


"Yes, come on." Jeremy quickly stood and hauled Peter to his feet. When they were both vertical, Jeremy paused, looking down at Peter's crotch with its exposed cock. Licking his lips, Jeremy whispered, "Jesus, Pete, I could spurt just staring at you." A wicked smile emerged on Peter's lips. "Come on, get in bed and spurt for me." Jeremy didn't turn on the light. In the dim ambient glow from the streetlights outside, he led the way to the tiny bedroom with its two single beds. Opening his nightstand drawer, Jeremy produced two rubbers and some lubrication, putting them within reach. Before Jeremy began stripping off his clothing, he peeled back the blankets. When a warm hand touched his shoulder, Jeremy turned around and found the most loving expression on Peter's face he could ever imagine. As if in a dream he reached around for Peter's embrace and hummed in delight at the sensation of their two naked bodies clinging together in the cool dark room. Peter touched Jeremy's ear with his lips and nibbled it, making chills rush up Jeremy's spine. Then a soft breathy whisper followed, "Make love to me, Jeremy." Jeremy felt the sensual shiver even reach his toes. Gently he parted from Peter and nudged Peter to lie on the bed. Peter lay back and spread his legs wide. Before Jeremy slipped on a rubber, Jeremy knelt between Peter's legs and nuzzled into his balls, groaning in pleasure. "Should I suck you?" "Yeah, go on." Peter raised his hips up in anticipation. 248


Jeremy licked his way to the tip, pushing Peter's cock into his mouth. It was bliss. The minute he was completely enveloped by Jeremy's mouth, Peter released a breathy gasp of delight. That was all Jeremy needed to hear. Jeremy knelt up and worked Peter with both his mouth and his hands, wanting to touch him everywhere at once, inside and out. A sharp 'Ah!' cry rose up from Peter as he came, arching his back at the intensity and closing his eyes tightly. Moments after Peter had come, Jeremy had the rubber on and was pushing his cock inside Peter's tight opening. Even as Peter lay back as if savoring the aftershocks, Jeremy pumped fast and hard, coming quickly and shuddered with ecstasy. Pulling out slowly, Jeremy then collapsed on top of Peter's sweating body as they both caught their breaths. **** During his slumber Jeremy heard a noise. He opened his eyes and found Peter sound asleep next to him on the narrow bed. The digital clock on his nightstand read eleven-fourteen p.m. Jeremy heard the door closing, the living room light turning on, then the sound of footsteps approaching. Jeremy wondered what Kevin's reaction would be. How often had he come home to find Kevin in bed with Kelly or Crystal, or whoever was the flavor of the month? Waiting for Kevin to appear, Jeremy's eyes focused on the open doorway between the bedroom and living room, Jeremy knew it would only be a matter of minutes.

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Kevin's tall frame emerged from the living room. Finding Jeremy's set of wide-open eyes staring at him, Kevin said, "Jeremy? Oh. You're up." "Yes," Jeremy whispered quietly. "Can I turn on a light?" "Uh, no ... uh..." "Why not? Did I wake you?" Jeremy felt Peter stirring next to him. Holding his breath, Jeremy stared at Kevin, waiting for him to realize they were not alone. As Peter woke, he rolled over and opened his eyes. "Holy shit!" Kevin shouted as he spotted the second male in his roommate's bed. "Uh ... sorry, Kevin." "I ... uh..." Kevin pointed to the living room as he stammered, "I can wait ... or ... uh, is he staying overnight?" "I don't know. Pete?" Jeremy asked Peter quietly, "You staying?" "You mind? I'm exhausted. What the hell time is it?" "After eleven ... Kevin?" "Uh ... yeah?" "You mind he stays?" "No ... no. I don't mind ... uh..." "Hang on a minute, Pete," Jeremy said, then found his briefs and slipped them on. Jeremy hopped out of bed and met Kevin in the living room. In the light of the living room, Jeremy expected to find Kevin angry or upset, but was surprised when he found that silly smirk on Kevin's face. "Before you make a comment," Jeremy nudged him, suddenly 250


expecting him to burst out laughing. "How many nights have I slept in that room while you had a girl in your bed? Hmm? Think about it, Kevin." "But! That's Professor Foster in there!" It was obvious this entire event was amusing Kevin. "Yes. Duh. Look, can't you just go to sleep in there? We're just going to sleep as well. Okay? It's not like you'll be listening to us humping, like I've had to do with you." "No! You heard me?" "Yes, you jerk. Now, just wash up and go to bed. I don't want to have to kick him out, and you shouldn't have to find somewhere else to sleep." "Right. Sleep in there while you two are in bed ... right." Kevin kept shaking his head, holding back his hilarity. When Peter appeared at the doorway of the bedroom in only his jeans, Jeremy and Kevin stopped talking and stared at him. "Am I causing a problem?" "No!" both Kevin and Jeremy shouted in reply. Jeremy approached Peter quickly, saying, "No, there's no problem. Just go back to bed." "You sure?" Peter addressed Kevin, "Mr. Moore? Are you okay with me spending the night?" "Me?" Kevin pointed to his own chest. "Yes, I've got no problem, Professor Foster. Go ... go and have a good night's sleep." Peter's face expressed some ironic humor at Kevin's comment. As if a decision had been reached, Peter stopped at the bathroom before he climbed back into Jeremy's bed. 251


When the bathroom door closed, Kevin and Jeremy looked at each other. "Stop it," Jeremy chided before Kevin burst out laughing. "I didn't say anything!" Kevin held up his hand in defense. "Good night, Kevin." Jeremy shook his head at him. Jeremy waited until Peter returned to the bedroom. Kevin disappeared into the bathroom next as Jeremy met Peter in bed. Once they were naked and cuddling, Peter whispered, "You sure he's okay?" "Yeah, he's fine. You know how many nights I had to hear him screwing chicks in that bed? Don't worry, he owes me." As if that was enough to satisfy him, Peter wrapped around Jeremy and nestled back into the pillows. With his eyes once again on the doorway, Jeremy waited. And like a good roommate, Kevin came in, undressed for bed, and climbed under the covers. Just when Jeremy thought it was safe to close his eyes, he heard a very melodic, "Goodnight, Jeremy ... goodnight Professor Foster..." "Go to sleep, Kevin," Jeremy replied, a smile on his lips. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty Checking his hair and face in the bathroom mirror, Jeremy ran a brush through his long brown locks and then touched a dash of cologne onto his neck. A black turtleneck under a dark sport's jacket, black slacks and his best shoes; he felt slick and ready for this gallery opening and couldn't wait to spend a night in a flashy Manhattan hotel with his lover. When he stepped out of the bathroom, Kevin was there waiting. "Wow! Look at you. You look really great, Jeremy." "Thanks, Kevin." Jeremy checked the contents of his backpack for his overnight stay and then packed some last minute toiletries into it. "That Professor Foster is one lucky dude," Kevin said. Stopping short, Jeremy raised his eyes from his task to the ones staring at him adoringly. "Uh ... thanks?" Jeremy replied, a wry smile on his face. "You're not jealous, are you?" "Me? What a stupid thing to say." Kevin blushed at the comment. Jeremy walked across the room to where Kevin was standing. Moving into his personal space, Jeremy whispered, "I'm really flattered, Kevin." "Don't be a dork." Kevin lowered his eyes shyly. With a very tentative hand, Jeremy touched Kevin's face. The minute he did, Kevin jerked his head up and met Jeremy's eyes. "You're not going to kiss me, are you?" "No, Kevin. I'm not." "Oh..." He seemed slightly disappointed. 253


"I'll see you late Sunday night." "Right. Have fun." "Thanks." Jeremy grabbed his backpack and headed out to see if Peter was waiting for him in front of the dorm. When he turned back, Kevin was watching him, giving him a last wave goodbye. As students hurried past him in the dim overcast morning, Jeremy narrowed his eyes to the street beyond his dormitory building. Within minutes, the SUV pulled into the lot. When Jeremy opened the passenger door and climbed in, Peter said, "Wow. You look great, Jeremy." "Thanks, Peter. I wasn't sure how formal it was. You know, if I should wear a suit or something." "No, you look fine." Peter checked his mirrors, then headed for Interstate 90. "She's out, Jeremy." "Linda? She's out?" "She moved in with her girlfriend yesterday." Jeremy reached for Peter's hand and squeezed it. "That's great. What's happening with the divorce?" "It just needs to get through the court. There's no contest so it shouldn't be too long. Oh, Christ, Jeremy, if you knew what a relief it is to get out of this marriage..." "I'm surprised you waited a whole year." Jeremy looked out at the passing cars as a slight drizzle began wetting the windshield. "Me too. I don't know. Maybe there was something inside me that wanted to keep trying. I don't like the idea of giving up easily on things. Even though the marriage was a farce, I 254


felt I had to give it a try. I suppose it sounds stupid under the circumstances." "No. Not really. I hope you feel the same way about me." At the comment, Jeremy caught Peter's reassuring smile. "Not to worry, babe. I have no intention of letting you out of my sight." "Good." Jeremy gripped Peter's hand and held it tight. After a period of silence as they headed south on Interstate 87, Jeremy said, "I can't remember the last time I was in the city." "I'm there quite a lot. It's where my work is showing. I've a contract with a gallery there." "How often do you show?" "A couple times a year. Raji seems to think it keeps people interested." "Raji?" "My agent." "Oh." After another few quiet miles, Jeremy asked, "Uh, when we get there ... you know, after we check into the hotel, do you want me to lay low? You know..." Smiling, Peter replied, "No. I do not want you to lay low and disappear into the woodwork. You are my partner, and you can do as you like. You can stand with me and meet people, or mingle. I don't want to push you into anything that makes you uncomfortable." "So, you're okay with being out." When Peter tilted his head over to him, the expression on Peter's face almost appeared as if the question was ridiculous. 255


"But, you were—are married. Pete, I'm just trying to do what's best for you and not make any bad publicity for you." Peter burst out laughing, then said, "There is no such thing as bad publicity. Look, Jeremy, we're talking about the art scene in Manhattan. Being gay is a pretty non-event. You know better than that. Anything to do with the arts, theatre, music: it's all about being tolerant of alternative lifestyles. Please, don't fear us being seen as a couple." After a minute, Peter said, "Unless you have a problem coming out. Do you?" "No. I told my parents about it. It's no big deal to me any longer. And I can't imagine it ruining my chances at being a budding computer engineering geek." Laughing again, Peter grabbed Jeremy's thigh and shook it playfully. "They say opposites attract. Now I believe it. I'm as far from a computer whiz as you can get. I can't even turn on a computer." "Well, you don't have to worry anymore. I'm here." After an exchange of smiles, Jeremy finally made out the first road sign for Manhattan appearing on the New York State Throughway. **** Peter took charge and checked them into a posh hotel near Central Park. With his insides jumping in excitement, Jeremy rode the elevator up to the ninth floor and waited as the bellboy opened their room and carried in their bags. After a tip was given and they were left alone, Jeremy admired the room décor, then made his way to the window to look out at the view. The clouds had parted and the expanse of steel and 256


concrete became visible. Yellow strings of taxis seemed to move like blood through veins down the wide arterial street network. Feeling the warmth of an aura behind him, Jeremy smiled and backed up against that hot body. As Peter's arms wrapped around him, Jeremy rested his head back on Peter's shoulder and whispered, "I've never been this happy." "Good." Peter rocked him gently, kissing his hair. "What time do we have to be at the gallery?" "I've got to be there all day helping set up. The actual show doesn't start till later. It's a champagne celebration of the opening at around seven." Turning around in Peter's arms, Jeremy placed his hands on Peter's shoulders and stared into his eyes. "You want me there? Or should I amuse myself around the city?" "I want you there. I value your opinion. But if you'd rather do some shopping, I understand." "No. I want to be with you." "Good." Peter kissed him. Immediately set on fire, Jeremy devoured him hungrily, moving his eager hands downward for a feel of him. "We have time?" "We always have time." Peter laughed softly. They parted and started undressing, staring at each other as their clothing dropped to the carpet. **** Peter loved the way Jeremy's skin looked as each item of clothing was removed. If he had his camera he would have had him stop at every point where more of his luminous skin 257


was exposed in the velvety dark room. And as if his eyes were that lens, or that canvas, Peter envisioned the painting with perfect detail. Jeremy was beauty incarnate. His expression was soft and alluring while his presence was intensely masculine. The contrast of those two opposites made Jeremy West mouth watering. Waiting until they were both naked, Peter craned his finger invitingly for that lovely man to come closer. Savoring the movement of that lithe muscular body as it approached, Peter felt his cock throb with anticipation. Humming softly, "Beautiful ... beautiful..." Peter knew it was Jeremy's loving personality that made his looks truly blossom. The man didn't have an ounce of conceit. As he embraced this vision, Peter closed his eyes and inhaled him, rubbing himself all over the tautness of Jeremy's flesh. "Christ, you are absolutely amazing." Jeremy laughed softly, then whispered, "Screw me ... I want your cock in me." A surge like an electric current ran through Peter at the comment. After a kiss, Peter released him and watched as Jeremy crawled onto the bed. Pausing, enjoying the posture of this handsome creature as he relaxed, Peter again wished he had his camera or easel, but knew they had many more opportunities in the future for art. Now the time was right for passion. As if he had heard the unspoken request for sex, Jeremy spread his legs wide and offered himself to Peter. Licking his lips at the hunger that was raging in him, Peter ran both his hands over Jeremy's hot skin, up his thighs to his groin, then gripped the base of his penis and squeezed him, pulling as he 258


did until Jeremy raised his hips and moaned in longing. Finding the lubrication and a condom, Peter efficiently applied both, then with Jeremy propped up on a pillow, Peter penetrated that tight opening, closing his eyes as he savored the enveloping heat. When Peter opened his eyes, Jeremy was smiling sweetly at him. Using Jeremy's legs to brace himself, Peter thrust in deeply, staring at Jeremy's body as he did, then instantly felt the climax rush up his spine. Pressing his hips as tightly as he could to Jeremy's body, Peter let the aftershocks recede slowly, then backed up and pulled out, catching his breath as he did. "You're really fantastic looking, Peter, when you come." Laughing at the comment, Peter smiled shyly and replied, "Really? I imagined I looked pretty stupid." "Oh, no. Not stupid." Jeremy shook his head. "Hot. You look fucking hot." "Good." Peter threw the rubber on the floor, then asked. "Name it." "Suck me." "My pleasure." Making himself more comfortable on the bed, Peter waited for Jeremy to relax, then as if he were sculpting a masterpiece, Peter started sucking slowly, and then gained momentum. As Jeremy writhed on the bed, moaning in ecstasy, Peter sucked him as deeply as he could, used one hand to hold the base and squeeze it, then shoved a slick finger up Jeremy's ass. Just as Peter pushed inside him, massaging Jeremy internally, Peter felt Jeremy's cock pulsate in his mouth and heard him gasp. Excited by Jeremy's reaction, Peter sucked him faster and deeper, spinning his 259


tongue around the shaft rubbing his own cock against the bed for release. Jeremy's back arched and his eyes closed tight. Cum shot into Peter's mouth and he groaned and swallowed it down in delight. Lapping at him gently as he recovered, Peter heard Jeremy whispering through his heavy breaths, "I love you, I love you..." Smiling, Peter leaned up and found that contented expression. "Oh, my pet, I love you, too." **** Jeremy didn't know what he had expected. The area of town, the grand space of glass and light, the glittering of gilded frames and bronze sculptures: Jeremy was overwhelmed by the gallery. Raji met them immediately as they came in and Jeremy was introduced to the man responsible for arranging all of Peter's shows. "Nice to meet you," Jeremy said, extending his hand. "And you. What do you think of your partner's work?" Raji asked, gesturing to the multitude around him. "I'm in awe." Jeremy took a few steps into the room. "Have a look around, Jeremy," Peter said, nudging him. "Okay." Jeremy nodded, then walked across the room to a huge painting. As he did he overheard Raji say, "What a gorgeous creature!" And Peter responded, "I know." Smiling at the compliment, Jeremy pretended he hadn't heard and stood in front of an enormous oil painting. Cherry blossoms. Fantastic pink and peach petals falling like rain over rich green and amber hues. Impressionistic and vague, yet almost the exact image from the incredible view behind 260


the library by their bench. If he could sit in front of it and get lost in it for hours, he'd do it. Moving on, he found masculine bronze sculptures, bold angular moving machine-like males with jutting jaws and powerful limbs. Another room held Peter's nudes. Both sexes in blushing fleshy tones, once again, right on the edge of impressionism, yet still clinging to the last ounce of realism. All one had to do was squint the eyes and the view came into focus. The illusion had Jeremy's head spinning. He'd never seen artwork like it. Behind him the low murmur of voices was like a melody making him feel lightheaded and drowsy. Heaven. This is what heaven felt like. Turning around, seeing the men moving things to suit their ideas and plans, Jeremy couldn't wipe the smile off his face. And, as if reading his mind, Peter slowly moved to connect with his eyes. When they met, Jeremy felt the most powerful sensation of emotion he could ever remember. And watching that lush mouth move, Jeremy read three words: 'I love you'. His face heating up to flames, Jeremy mouthed it back. And as the day turned into night, Jeremy stood back and watched his glorious professor shine doing what he did best. The moment Peter reached out his hand to him, Jeremy rushed to his side to share in the excitement. One older woman smiled sweetly at them and said, "You make a lovely couple, Peter." Giving Jeremy an adoring smile, Peter replied wryly, "We do? Oh, I don't know. I just think Mr. West here is used to being the teacher's pet. Aren't you, Jeremy?" 261


Bursting out laughing, Jeremy said, "Yes, that's me. The teacher's pet." [Back to Table of Contents]

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About the Author G.A. Hauser was born in the shadow of the Manhattan skyline in the suburbs of New Jersey in the sleepy town of Fair Lawn. After graduating with a degree in Fine Arts from a university in New York, she gave up the idea of being a starving artist and headed for Seattle. For over a decade she lived in Rain City, and the last eight of those years she wore a blue police uniform working for the Seattle Police Department as a patrol officer. She's been writing since 1990 but it wasn't until she reached the wet British Isles that she published her first book, In The Shadow of Alexander. She lived in Hertfordshire, England for six years and from there she was able to travel and see the wonders of the world. She's back in the good ol' USA once again and is convinced there's no place like home.

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Teacher's Pet

Pet

PET

Vampire's Pet

Pet Peeve

Pet Me

My pet

Pet Peeve

Ariel's Pet

Pet Me

Teacher's Pet

Vampire's Pet

The Pet

The Pet

Pet Peeve

Darrell Bain - Pet Plague 1 - Pet Plague

Pet Sitting

Ariel's Pet

Pet Sematary

Pet Me

Pet Disasters

The Pet

Pet Peeve

Pet Sematary

Pet Peeve

Nightwalker's Pet

Teacher's Pet

Pet Plague

Pet Peeve

Pet Peeve

Pet Peeve

Teacher's Pet

Pet

PET

Vampire's Pet

Pet Peeve

Pet Me

My pet

Pet Peeve

Ariel's Pet

Pet Me

Teacher's Pet

Vampire's Pet

The Pet

The Pet

Pet Peeve

Darrell Bain - Pet Plague 1 - Pet Plague

Pet Sitting

Ariel's Pet

Pet Sematary

Pet Me

Pet Disasters

The Pet

Pet Peeve

Pet Sematary

Pet Peeve

Nightwalker's Pet

Teacher's Pet

Pet Plague

Pet Peeve

Pet Peeve

Pet Peeve

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