Point of Beginning

Point

of Beginning

Gale Stanley

 Published by Silver Publishing Publisher of Erotic Romance

ABOUT THE E-BOOK YOU HAVE PURCHASED: Your non-refundable purchase of this e-book allows you to only ONE LEGAL copy for your own personal reading on your own personal computer or device. You do not have resell or distribution rights without the prior written permission of both the publisher and the copyright owner of this book. This book cannot be copied in any format, sold, or otherwise transferred from your computer to another through upload to a file sharing peer to peer program, for free or for a fee, or as a prize in any contest. Such action is illegal and in violation of the U.S. Copyright Law. Distribution of this e-book, in whole or in part, online, offline, in print or in any way or any other method currently known or yet to be invented, is forbidden. If you do not want this book anymore, you must delete it from your computer. WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000." Cover Artist: Reese Dante Editor: Nicole Hicks Point of Beginning © 2011 Gale Stanley ISBN # 978-1-920468-59-0 All rights reserved. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission. All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental. The Licensed Art Material is being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the Licensed Art Material, is a model. PUBLISHER http://www.silverpublishing.info

Dedication

For the surveyors who taught me how important it is to find the Point of Beginning.

Trademarks Acknowledgement The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction: Dunkin Donuts: Dunkin' Brands, Inc Google Guinness: Guinness & Co. Lagavulin: Diageo plc Novocain: Hospira, Inc. Old Spice: Procter & Gamble Versace: Gianni Versace S.p.A. YMCA: Young Men's Christian Association "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga "Relax, Take It Easy" by Mika Star Trek: Gene Roddenberry, Paramount Studios Total Recall: Carolco International N.V., TriStar Pictures

Point of Beginning:

The starting point of a survey, which when mapped out on all linear lines, returns to the point of beginning.

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Chapter One Surrounded by the intoxicating scent of sweat, testosterone, and Old Spice; Jack threw a clean towel on the bench and planted his bare ass on top of it. The gym had gone downhill since his last visit. Half-empty water bottles, wet towels, and funky drawers were lying everywhere. It looked more like the locker room at the YMCA than an expensive fitness club. If he hadn't let his membership lapse, he'd complain to the management and suggest they bring in a biohazard cleanup team. It had been a mistake to accept Kyle's free pass and come tonight. He would take a minute to rest, grab a shower, and get out ASAP. How did Kyle and Alex do it? They were still out there doing leg presses while he tried to catch his breath in the locker room. Of course, his coworkers didn't sit in front of a computer all day like he did. "Good workout?" The locker room appeared to be empty. Startled, he looked over his shoulder and came face to groin with a forest of gray pubic hair. A big empty room and this old geezer has to take off his skivvies right in my face. Putting a lid on his quick temper, he looked up and 7

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answered curtly. "Yeah." Shit. It was the lurker, the lone wolf who'd been following him around the gym and ogling him. Every time he looked in the mirror he saw this creep leering back in the reflection. Whatever happened to personal space? He despised locker rooms. They always brought back bad memories of the awkwardness and anxiety of puberty. He'd been a late bloomer and the inevitable comparing of body parts, followed by towel snapping and ridicule, was forever etched on his brain. His package had developed late but large and naked-stalker guy was checking it out. It wouldn't surprise him if the man pulled out a cell phone and snapped his picture. He could end up on the internet. Someone might get the wrong idea about him. Mentioning his fears to Kyle had been a big mistake. His coworker called him an uptight asshole. Some friend. The man was a prick, a player who saw himself as God's gift to women. He'd probably welcome the attention if someone posted a picture of his junk on the internet. He might even do it himself. Not long after that, he let his membership lapse and he bought his own exercise equipment. His two bedroom condo was more like one bedroom and a den, but the 8

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smaller room now housed a weight bench and a treadmill with no problem. He preferred to exercise in the privacy of his own home and he sure didn't miss Kyle's lewd and crude comments. He should have stayed home tonight. When the free passes had been waved under his nose he hadn't been tempted at all. At the risk of being called antisocial, he'd been on the verge of saying no thanks. Then Alex was called over. "Hey Stud," Kyle had yelled across the room. He had cringed but Alex had waved good-naturedly and walked over. The butterflies in his stomach migrated to his chest. Alexander James made his heart race the way no woman ever had. The man was hot and, to Jack's chagrin, inspired some seriously wet dreams. His hands itched to roam through those dark unruly curls, on his head and other places. The curly-haired Adonis had greeted Kyle, and then turned to him. "Jackson." Those dark-brown eyes held his for an instant and red hot heat traveled straight to his groin. Tongue-tied he stuck his hands in his pockets, forgetting he hated to be called Jackson. Anybody else who used his given name would have pissed him off. Kyle held out a gym pass. "You look like a man who likes to work out. I just happen to have an extra pass 9

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for Olympus. If you can get out of the house that is." He winked at Alex, before turning back to him. "His girlfriend must be hell on wheels in the sack." The sex God grinned and shrugged. "Gotta keep 'em happy." The girlfriend was the last thing he wanted to hear about. Time to make his exit. "I don't think I can make—" "Sure, I'm not one to pass on a freebie." Alex grabbed the pass, accidently bumping his arm. His mouth went dry and his hand snaked out of its own free will to grab the third pass. Alex saluted with his. "Thanks Ky. I'll meet you guys there." When he left, Kyle had turned to him. "His girlfriend must be a hot babe. Ever see her?" "I rarely see him." He had answered truthfully. Alex kept to himself a lot and besides he worked outdoors most of the day. "Don't expect to see him at the gym either. The poor bastard is so pussy whipped he always blows us off." Kyle chuckled. "I'd be surprised if she lets him off the leash tonight." Every time someone mentioned the elusive girlfriend, his heart sank. So the man had a ball and chain. So what? Even if his dream guy were single he wouldn't 10

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have a chance in hell with him. He was so obviously not into men. Ever since Alex started working at Keystone Survey, Inc, he'd had a hard-on for the guy. He only had to get in shouting distance and Jack's libido fired on all cylinders. Was he turning gay or something? Kyle was a good-looking guy but he didn't make his pulse race whenever he came near. In fact no one, male or female, had ever made him weak in the knees the way Alex did. Thoughts of his coworker had taken over every waking minute. Lately he'd been less and less interested in meeting women. Of course he'd never been a player. All through school he'd been one of the nerdy kids, more interested in Star Trek than getting laid. It wasn't until college that he filled out and started playing sports. Just tennis and a little softball, but it toned up his body enough to make the girls take notice. That's when he forced himself to be one of those guys who seduced girls by pretending to care about them, when all they really wanted was sex. Eventually he discovered he didn't really want the sex either. He'd convinced himself that he just hadn't found the right one yet and he concentrated on his studies. He liked computers and math and he ended up with a B.A.S. in 11

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Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. His job paid well but sometimes he got sick of being stuck in the office. He'd love to mix it up and spend a little time working on the construction sites, especially if it meant getting a little one on one instruction from a certain surveyor. Too bad it wasn't in his job description. Neither was drooling over a coworker but that didn't stop him. Some exciting life he had. He sat in front of a computer all day waiting for data so he could create his maps and blueprints. Then he went home and sat in front of his laptop, or watched reruns on TV. He really did need to get out more. That's why he'd joined the gym in the first place. But the whole gym thing wasn't him. He knew that. He didn't belong here. He hated exercising with a bunch of guys. Not every guy. He'd love to take Alex home with him and… And what? Admit it Jack. You're only here tonight because you wanted to see Alex. You're no better than the lurker. "Hey. Jackson." The baritone rumble made his cock twitch. Only one man called him Jackson. A smile came unbidden to his lips but he refused to turn around. The old dude was standing between them. Alex winced and threw a leg over the bench. He straddled it, facing Jack's left side. The sex God tilted his 12

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head to the right and grinned as the old man finally shuffled off. "Who's your buddy?" He frowned. "Some people have no locker room etiquette." Alex laughed at him and peeled off his sweaty tee. He made a face and lifted his leg to the bench. He controlled an urge to touch the hairy thigh. "What's wrong?" "I think I pulled a quad muscle." Alex bent his knee and inspected the front of his thigh carefully. "What do you think?" He inched closer. His heart missed a beat. "Uh, I think you overdid it with the leg press." "Does it feel swollen to you?" His palms went sweaty and his mouth went dry. "I… Um." He laid a trembling hand on the thigh in front of him and smoothed his palm over the taut muscle. His fingers touched the edge of Alex's shorts. A little further and he'd be groping his balls. He moistened his lips and pulled his hand away as if he'd been burned. "Well. What do you think?" Alex stared at him as if his opinion really mattered. I think I want those long muscular legs wrapped around me. "It doesn't look bad. I'd lay off the exercising for a 13

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week or two." "Shit. I finally get out to a gym and I screw it up the first night." Jack admired his toned body. "You don't need it. You must be getting enough exercise at home." He caught himself. "I mean at work. And no membership fees." "Don't listen to Kyle's stories." Alex's laugh made his heart jump. "How do you do it? No gym and sitting in front of a computer all day and you still look great." Alex's gaze traveled over his body and stopped below his waist. His eyebrows rose. He felt his face flame. A little attention from Alex and his cock stood up like the mast of a schooner. The man completely threw him off course. He grabbed another towel and started to stammer something but luckily Kyle walked in. He couldn't look at either man. He mumbled something about expecting company and showering at home. His clothes were on in record time and he ran out of the room like someone had yelled fire!

****

Jack opened a bottle of beer and turned on the TV. The opening scenes of Total Recall appeared on the screen 14

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and he saw the hero on a construction site, surrounded by men in boots and hardhats. Images of Alex popped into his head. Christ. He was obsessed with the man. What the hell is wrong with me? He had a serious case of fuckstration. If he wasn't careful he'd end up making an ass of himself and become the laughing stock of the office. He couldn't remember the last time he got laid. Hell he couldn't remember the last time he had a date. Must have been the chick Kyle set him up with, one of his sister's girlfriends. She was nice enough but after a few dates she dumped him. And that was what— six months ago? He needed to do something that would bring him a measure of heterosexual normalcy. Maybe if he looked at some porno, he could jack off and get a little relief. His laptop sat open on the coffee table in front of him. He went straight to Google and typed in naked women. Damn, 10,900,000 results. It would take the rest of his life to look at all those erotic pictures. He clicked on Naughty Nudes. At the top of the webpage the site proclaimed Sexy Babes Get Nasty. Get in on the hot action. Okay. He could use some of that action. He slid a hand down his boxers and grabbed his flaccid dick. Stroked 15

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and squeezed, and looked at black, white, Latina, and Asian tits and ass. He couldn't even get a hard-on. Shit. He bit his lip and went back to Google to do another search. In the privacy of his home he didn't have to hold back like he did at work or the gym. He could satisfy his curiosity and explore things that took him out of his comfort zone. A few minutes ago he'd been staring at pictures of nude women. Now the images were all men and he devoured them hungrily. Site after site of hardcore porn opened his eyes to a whole new world he knew very little about. Leathermen, bears, chubs, the city seemed to embrace every sub-culture and fetish. Where did he fit in? One photo caught his eye and he downloaded the video. A great looking guy with dark wavy hair and bedroom eyes walked into the frame, his dick slapping against his hard, flat stomach. All his attention focused on the Alex lookalike and his cock came alive under his hand. The man on his computer screen started to touch himself, toying with the dark hair under his belly button. His hand followed the happy trail to the base of his impressive erection and he used the thumb and forefinger of his other hand to push back the foreskin. A bead of pre16

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cum appeared on the tip and he spread it around with his thumb. Jack couldn't take his eyes off the guy's hands. When the man squeezed and rolled his balls, he felt his own sac tighten against his body and he fondled himself, imagining it was Alex touching him. His cock throbbed, harder than he'd ever been before. When the lookalike moaned and thrust into his fist, he threw his head back and did the same. Their hands moved up and down in tandem. He lost himself in the pleasure and came, calling Alex's name. He watched the lookalike shoot jet after jet of thick cum on his chest and he had an overwhelming desire to take the guy's cock in his mouth and taste him. He clenched his hands in frustration. Lost in his arousal he'd almost believed he'd been watching Alex. How pathetic. He didn't want to be a one-handed porn surfer. He wanted a partner, a muscular, hairy partner with a dick. How was he going to make that happen? He'd always had trouble connecting with women. Meeting like-minded men would be a real challenge. He used the internet for everything else, why not use it to find a man? Uncertain, he hesitated. Dating services and chat rooms, whether gay or hetero, had always made him nervous. You couldn't trust people to be honest 17

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with the information they provided in the profiles. And there were more deranged idiots online than in the gym. Grow up Jack. He needed to stop acting like a horny kid and figure out what he wanted before Alex drove him to distraction. Pretty soon he'd be ready to fuck anything.

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Chapter Two Alex juggled three Styrofoam cups and his duffle bag while he pushed a shoulder against the door that separated the surveyors from the CAD technicians. He entered the drafting room and let the door swing shut behind him. Jackson came in early every day. He knew that because he'd looked at the man's time cards. If he wanted to talk to him without all the meatheads around, this was the perfect time, the only time. He'd have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to see how nervous he made the other man, and he was pretty sure he knew why. All his instincts told him that his coworker was gay and had a crush on him. Understandable. He was a catch. Not. But Jackson seemed to think so and that was okay with him. Now he had to figure out how to let the man know. So what was the problem? Two gay single guys. This should be a no-brainer. But nothing came easy for him. He'd come to terms with his sexual orientation years ago and although he didn't hide in any closet, he didn't go around making announcements that he preferred guys over gals. It was just who he was and the people he wanted as friends soon knew the real him. But in a work environment where the men tried to 19

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out macho each other at every opportunity, he preferred to keep a low profile. He was pretty sure Jackson did too. Of course it was easier for him. He didn't work side by side with the surveyors all day. The guys liked to go out for a beer after work. Sometimes they went to strip joints. Alex had nothing against strip joints. On the contrary. But he didn't frequent the same ones as his coworkers. Rather than make excuses all the time for why he didn't join them, he let it be known that he had someone at home. Of course the men thought it was a woman and he didn't contradict them. Now he was sorry. Jackson didn't have an ounce of gaydar in him. The man believed he had a girlfriend, ergo he was straight. And getting to talk to him was nigh impossible. In this small but growing company, housed in a compact one story brick building, they were worlds apart. He worked on construction sites with the other men and Jackson worked inside with the geeks. Getting to know Jackson was like pulling your own tooth without Novocain. But the chemistry was there and he couldn't fight it no matter how hard he tried. And he tried. Hard. But he wanted his coworker and there was no getting around it. The surveyors were good at what they did and all 20

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business on the site but they liked to let off steam when they were done. When they returned after a long day the three drafters were usually the butt of a lot of ribbing. It was supposed to be in fun but sometimes it got out of hand. Even Kyle, who was supposed to be Jackson's friend, often made fun of him. He didn't like it but what could he do? He was the newest guy here and he didn't want to make waves. He peeked around the wall of Jackson's cube. The man was already hard at it. He almost changed his mind and walked away but Jackson looked up. Their eyes caught for a second and he felt his heart flutter. Geez. The guy was super cute. He had the preppy look going on with his side-parted caramel colored hair and rimless glasses. His smooth-shaved face made him look young but Alex knew he was pushing thirty. Perfect age for him. Damn, he better stop thinking like that. At least until he knew the other man was ready, willing, and able. At first he intended to hang back and let nature take its course. If they became friends, so be it. But the few times they spoke he'd felt a connection that shook him to his toes. He didn't want to wait anymore. He wanted to see where this could lead. But the man was a recluse. He never came in the back room where the surveyors hung out. On the one hand, Jackson seemed to avoid him. On the other hand, he gave off a horny vibe that made Alex 21

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want to fuck him silly. If he wanted to connect, he could have come to Alex anytime, on the pretext of questioning him about his field data. The fact that he didn't, bothered him. He knew he was being unreasonable. After all, the guy thought he was straight. Still, if Jackson wanted him so damn bad, wouldn't he make an effort to find out more about him? Maybe the man hadn't come to terms with his sexuality yet. Shit, did he really want to deal with all that baggage? Yeah, he thought he did. God bless Kyle for producing those passes yesterday. For a second he'd been afraid Jackson would turn it down. But something changed the man's mind, he hoped it had been him. They didn't talk much while they worked out. Fine with him. Quiet was good. After working with a bunch of rowdy guys all day he appreciated spending time with someone a little more serious and cerebral. Besides, he wanted to be the one to bring out Jackson's playful side. Jackson had made an early exit to the locker room and he made sure he followed soon after. He'd felt a little guilty, like a predator going after his next meal, but it was worth it. The man looked good in his workout duds. He looked better out of them. It had been a stroke of pure genius to complain 22

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about his leg. When Jackson put a hand on his thigh, his heart rate went through the roof and he had to hold back a moan. His heartthrob came pretty damn close to stroking more than his leg. Not that he would have minded. Hell no! He did everything but come out and ask for a hand job. And he would have reciprocated gladly. Jackson's own appendage stood up and saluted when Alex looked at him. The man's dick was so big and so hard he wanted to go down on him right then and there. His mouth watered just thinking about it. Problem was, he didn't want to spend the rest of his days just thinking about it. If they were going to make googoo eyes at each other, every day, he'd go nuts. Thank God he worked out in the field, or he'd be trying to explain why he was walking around with a boner all day. He'd intended to make a move last night. Maybe suggest a drink on the way home. If he got lucky Kyle would beg off. If not he'd try to lose him later. At the very least, he'd try to set up a date for another time. But Kyle walked in and his prey jackrabbited out of there like he'd spotted a wolf. The opportunity was lost, but Alex didn't give up easy. Somehow he was going to let Jackson know he didn't have a girlfriend and that involved having a serious 23

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conversation with the man. Pronto. He came in super early today so he could steal a few minutes alone with his jackrabbit. "Morning." He set the cups on the desk and those big hazel eyes looked up. They shifted in color. Today they looked golden-green and Alex fell into them— hard. "Uh, morning," Jackson stammered. "Hate to bug you," he said. "But I'm headed out shortly and I need to check something in yesterday's field data." "Sure." Jackson shuffled papers around and pulled out a field book. "How's the leg?" "Good." Shit, for a second he forgot about his pulled muscle. "I mean, it's better. I iced it and kept it elevated." He held out a cup. "The coffee in the back is like mud. I told Kyle I'd stop at Dunkin' Donuts and I grabbed an extra. It's yours if you want it." Jackson's eyes narrowed for a second before he smiled. "Thanks. You're right. The coffee here sucks." Geez, was the dude always so suspicious? Alex popped the tab on the lid of his cup and raised it in salute. "That was a pretty good work out last night. Aside from my injury. I'm thinking about getting a membership. I was wondering why you gave yours up." Jackson looked a little flustered. "I like using my 24

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own equipment." Bingo! Alex flashed him a wicked grin. "About that equipment—" "Hey Alex." The Chief Surveyor came up behind him and slapped his back. He almost dropped his coffee. Fuck! Talk about bad timing. "Jack." The Chief didn't sound as happy. He covered his desk with blueprints and stabbed at the sheets with his forefinger. "What the hell is this?" They all looked down. "This is shit. How the hell did a hydrant end up in the middle of the street?" Jackson flushed red. He sympathized. It was a pretty dumb mistake. However, it was his golden opportunity to earn the man's trust. "Sorry Chief," He lifted the site plan and grabbed the field book. "I'm going to fix it now." The Chief Surveyor narrowed his eyes at him. "It's your mistake?" "Yeah. I guess I had my head up my ass. Sorry." "Okay. At least you caught it." The boss grinned and grabbed a cup. "This for me?" He laughed. "It is now. Kyle can fend for himself." 25

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"Thanks. Oh, and get a move on. Marty wants to get out of here early." "Sure boss." He watched the Chief walk out. So much for conversation. His Crew Chief, Marty, didn't like to be kept waiting. "Thanks, but you didn't have to do that," Jackson said quietly. "Hey what are friends for." He gave him what he hoped was a meaningful look. "Besides, now you owe me one." Jackson started to open his mouth but looked past him and stopped. He sighed as Kyle walked over. "Morning. Got my coffee, Stud?" "You're too late. Boss man grabbed it." "Damn. I'll have to stop on the way to the site. Better drink up," Kyle said. "I saw Marty getting his shit together and he doesn't look happy." "Right." He frowned. Another opportunity lost. This was going to be even harder than he thought.

****

Jack watched from the corner of his eye as they walked away. The day had hardly begun and he already had 26

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a headache. He took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. Why would the stud take the heat for his mistake? It didn't compute. He walked up front where the big printer stood next to the door. He ran a print he already had, just so he could stand there and watch Alex get ready to leave. It was noisy upfront but the place would get quiet real soon. The Chief Surveyor, who also had an engineering degree, was moving between the three crews, handing out last minute jobs. Later the Chief would go out to the site to check up on the men. Then it would be up to him to hold down the fort with the secretary, and the other two CAD operators. Alex bent over to pick up some equipment. God, the man had a fine ass, shown off beautifully in tight acid washed jeans. All too soon, he stood, his Crew Chief grabbed their hardhats, and they were gone. With today's modern equipment, crews had gone from three or four men to two. He envied Marty, all that alone time with Alex. Shit. He spent way too much time thinking about him. He walked back to his cube with a print he didn't need. He appreciated Alex extending his friendship but it wasn't going to work. The surveyors worked outside, he worked inside. That alone set them apart. 27

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He did manage a tenuous friendship with Kyle but that was different. He didn't want to suck Kyle's cock. And what did he mean by "now you owe me one"? Fuck. Paybacks were always a bitch.

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Chapter Three Jack asked the cabbie to let him out at the intersection. He paid the driver and got out, slamming the door shut before he could change his mind. The cab took off, tires screeching, and there was no turning back. At the far end of Pine Street, a crowd of men congregated at the entrance to a bar. He couldn't make out the lettering on the side of the awning but he knew it had to be the Canopy Club. There'd been no picture on the internet but the listing had given directions and said to look for the purple canopy that extended over the sidewalk. He walked a short distance down the block before his feet seemed to stop of their own accord. The scene at the door looked more like a gathering than a line waiting to get in. Everyone seemed to know each other. Intimidated by the size and flashiness of the crowd, his excitement ramped up but at the same time his stomach churned and he thought he might be sick. Maybe he should have dressed up more instead of opting for jeans and a t-shirt. He didn't want to stand out in any way, shape, or form. Jack turned and circled the block. This time he approached from the opposite direction and watched the last man walk through the double doors. Sweating profusely, he looked over his shoulder before pushing open 29

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the door. Once inside the dimly lit interior, he realized he was in no ordinary pub. Apparently he'd entered a whole new world, one he wasn't sure he was ready for. Feeling like a dead man walking, he approached the bar. Heads turned and the first thing that struck him was the absence of women. Men lined the stools at the long wood bar. They sat at the small round tables and lounged on the conversation friendly seating around the perimeter. To the left a red brick wall served as a backdrop for a small dance floor. It was already packed with sweaty males gyrating to loud dance music. Odd to see men dancing with men, but it didn't freak him out like he thought it would. At least most of the patrons were dressed like him. A guy at the bar got up to dance to Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" and he grabbed the empty seat. He asked for a Guinness and discreetly checked out the bartender. The guy wore a tank top and looked like he could be a bouncer. It must be a busy night. Beads of sweat trickled over his face. He felt movement in his crotch area and squirmed on the barstool. The bartender set a mug in front of him. "First time at the dude ranch?" Dude ranch? He hesitated. Was it that obvious? 30

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"Yeah." "Play safe." The bartender winked at him and a dimple creased his cheek. Damn he was hot. Jack felt pretty hot himself. Embarrassed, he nodded and turned away. A mustachioed man sitting next to him looked him up and down and mumbled something he couldn't hear. He cupped a hand to his ear but the man shrugged and moved off. Guess I wasn't what he was looking for. Relieved, he finished his beer and ordered a second. A blonde, shirtless in a black vest and cowboy boots, took the empty barstool next to him. He was younger and cuter than mustache man. Evidently the bartender knew him. He set a glass in front of him without even asking what he wanted. The blonde pointed to Jack's mug, and the bartender brought him another beer. Thank God he didn't drive. He made eye contact with the blonde and held up the mug in thanks. The man had some great eyes, dark brown and framed with long lashes, like Alex. He let his own eyes stray to the sizable bulge at blondie's crotch and tried to compare it to what he'd seen tenting Alex's shorts at the gym. Hell! What in God's name was wrong with him? Did he have to compare everybody he met to Alex? He was 31

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home, fucking his girlfriend. This guy was here, available, and buying him beer. Screw Alex. He had a veritable smorgasbord of potential dates laid out in front of him. He reminded himself he wasn't here to pick someone up. Not tonight anyway. Tonight he was just checking out the scene, getting the lay of the land so to speak. No pun intended. It was enough to sit openly among so many gay men. He felt liberated. The blaring music made conversation impossible. He'd read somewhere that loud bar music made people drink more. He could understand why. If a person couldn't communicate verbally, he had to do something while he occupied a seat. He bought the next round and the blonde clinked his glass. They drank for a few minutes, when the guy leaned over and spoke in his ear. "Want to dance?" He didn't but he didn't want to offend the man. "Maybe later." Jack gave himself a mental pat on the back. He was sitting in a gay bar, getting hit on by men and feeling comfortable in his own skin. It made him feel empowered. He had no idea how many beers he had, but before long he needed to make a trip to the men's room. He headed 32

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there, hoping it would be empty. Thankfully it was, but when he zipped up he caught the blonde watching him in the mirror. The hair on his arms and the back of his neck stood up. The man was taller and bulkier than he had first thought. And that impressive bulge he packed looked even bigger. His mouth went dry. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off the guy in the mirror. The man's lip curled in a seductive grin and he tilted his head, indicating something on his right. Barely clinging to his last shred of sobriety, he pointed to himself. The guy laughed. "Yeah. You." He came up behind Jack, put his hands on his shoulders and rubbed his hips against his ass. His breath hitched and he froze. The blonde smiled at him in the mirror. "I only want to suck your cock." Jesus. That was hot. He hadn't been this aroused in a long time. The man was good-looking, but it was the crass offer that turned him on. The thrill of sex with a stranger added to the allure of the words. That and where they were. His erection throbbed in his pants like an impatient serpent. Maybe this is what he needed. He let the blonde lead him to a stall. The man dropped to his knees and undid Jack's pants. The cool air 33

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on his naked thighs only made him hotter. The blonde admired Jack's raging hard-on for a few seconds and then got down to business. It felt as if he was watching a video, until the blonde licked his shaft and started sucking and playing with his balls. His knees went weak. He let out a groan and leaned back against the wall. The guy swallowed most of his seven inches, then came back to tease him with his tongue, flicking it across the tip while he sucked him. At one point he thought he might slide down the wall, but the man kept a firm grip on his hips. He never had a man's mouth on his dick before, and the women he'd been with were amateurs compared to this guy. He knew he wouldn't last long. "Jesus," he groaned. "I'm gonna come." The blonde sucked harder and rubbed Jack's ass. When he ran his fingers between his cheeks and rubbed his tight hole, Jack's cock surged and he couldn't hold back. He felt like he'd never stop coming. The blonde sucked him dry, then pulled up his pants and tucked him in before thanking him and walking out. Jesus Christ! Had that really happened? It was so not like him. It felt good, damn good, but he didn't even know the guy's name. He wanted a partner, not anonymous 34

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sex in a strange bathroom. Being with a man felt right but blondie wasn't the man he wanted.

****

Alex stepped out of the shower and studied himself in the mirror. To shave or not to shave. Some dancers liked a smooth chest and stomach, shaved armpits and genital region. He didn't. He suspected most of his audience didn't either. So as long as nobody forced the issue he got by with just trimming his pubic hair. After the week he put in, he should be exhausted but he thrived on busy. Busy made the day go faster and he enjoyed his work, the day job and the night job. Keystone Survey, Inc. was a good place to be, a company that would grow along with the economy. They had increased their workload one hundred percent when construction money freed up. Developers and builders got busy and so did Keystone. The team members and equipment were getting heavy use now. They were working with a big name builder who was developing a site for new townhouses. They'd cleared the land and provided rock removal. Now they were ready to stake out the site for curbs, paving, 35

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water line installation, sanitary and storm sewers. He got plenty of exercise and most of the time he enjoyed the camaraderie. Rain or shine, hot or cold, he liked being outdoors. And he'd already made a ton of overtime. He didn't need to dance for money or a work out anymore. But he wasn't ready to give it up. He actually looked forward to the weekends. It was a chance to be around men and not have to pretend to be something he wasn't. He could finally let loose and be himself. And all the male attention didn't hurt either. So he felt pumped up and raring to go and damn lucky to have this gig at The Gentlemen's Club. Upscale all the way, the club had a discreet, well off cliental. Membership by invitation only. Even the employees were well investigated before being hired. And well taken care of after. St Clair didn't allow members to grope or fondle the dancers. There were other avenues provided for members' sexual needs and desires. And they were much more comfortable and discreet than the lounge. Alex knew that many of the members were married and prominent in society. That didn't mean they were above wanting a gang bang or BDSM scene, and St Clair assured the utmost confidentiality. 36

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The fantasy rooms and the dungeon weren't his scenes. He wasn't into sex with a different partner every weekend. He danced. Period. End of story. He'd exchanged numbers and had a few dates with members but they were far and few between. Only one had developed into a real relationship, an older man who'd lost his longtime partner to cancer. They'd each filled a need for the other and it had been good while it lasted, but they both knew they weren't soul mates. When they broke up they remained friends, but he hadn't seen his former lover in quite a while. He'd always been a relationship kind of guy, he just hadn't found his one yet. It would happen. Maybe it already had. He could see himself with Jackson. The man didn't know it yet but they were more alike than he realized. If only he could talk to him. That was proving to be next to impossible. He could get the guy's number easily enough but he knew a call from him wouldn't be welcome— yet. He just needed to be patient.

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Chapter Four Jackson's attempt to decipher the mysteries of gay nightlife had mixed results— the good, the bad, and the ugly. He'd been bi-curious, now he was gay-certain. Before he went to the club he was a work in progress, still trying to figure out what would float his boat. After getting sucked off by a guy, and loving it, he was pretty damn sure who he was. That was the good, no, make that the great part. But the brief, impersonal encounter left him wondering is that all there is? He couldn't see himself having serial flings for the rest of his life, never really connecting in a meaningful way with anyone. He was a relationship kind of guy and he wanted someone who felt the same. The ugly part was having sex in a crummy bar bathroom. Oh, it had been exciting. His first trip to a gay bar, his first blow job from a complete stranger, the added danger of discovery… All his paranoia came flooding back. What if someone had caught them? Or taken pictures. One thing for sure, he knew he wasn't the uptight prick Kyle accused him of being. He imagined the look on his face if he ever found out what Jack had done. 38

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What would Alex think? He'd probably never speak to him again. Well, nobody would find out because he wasn't talking. And from now on he'd be more careful. Sex in bars was out. He'd find another way to meet men. Too bad life couldn't imitate fantasy. He had a favorite, a complete scenario he'd worked out in his head. Hell, he'd imagined it so many times it was like watching a favorite rerun again and again. His fantasy centered around a certain surveyor with dark unruly hair, a sexy smile and a body to die for. Jack would be working OT. He'd be sitting at his computer. Sometimes he varied it and saw himself standing by the file cabinets. He'd be so engrossed in his task that he wouldn't hear Alex enter the room. But he'd smell that unique Alex scent and know he was close. He wouldn't be surprised when Alex came up behind him and whispered in his ear. Jackson. Hell, he'd even gotten to like the sound of his given name. But only when it came from Alex's lips. He would turn around. They'd look in each other's eyes and no words would need to be exchanged. They would kiss and it would be more than just a meeting of lips, teeth, and tongue. He'd be free to touch him. To slip his hands under 39

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Alex's t-shirt and finally feel all that warm skin, that perfect chest. Just hairy enough to make him look hot and sexy. Shit. He was getting hard thinking about it. Too bad, it always came back to the guy he knew he could never have. Thank God the man had been so busy out in the field he hadn't seen much of him lately. Catching a glimpse of him at work always made his pulse race. And whenever Alex spoke to him, he suddenly became a tongue-tied idiot. He had to find a better way to meet gay men. He'd always been shy about approaching women, let alone men. And if he made a move on the wrong person, he'd end up being humiliated or getting the crap beat out of him. Mondays were busy but when the office emptied for lunch he did a few quick searches on his pc. He put aside his aversion to internet hookups and did a little more research on gay dating services. There were too many to choose from. He finally picked one because he liked the name— Stud Service. It sounded slutty but it reminded him of Alex. He signed up and created a profile.

****

Jack had been on pins and needles, more like a bed 40

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of nails, all week. He'd checked his email countless times waiting to hear something from the dating service. Finally on Thursday, he came home from work and found an email from a perspective date. Nervous, he'd almost deleted it instead of opening it. It was from a guy who appeared to be an average Joe. Jack had called him and they made plans to meet. He had second thoughts almost immediately and was tempted to cancel out. He hadn't. So now he was stuck. They were meeting for happy hour so Jack went straight from work. He'd never been there, but he knew of the place, a downtown bar, predominantly gay, but also straight-friendly. He recognized Gary immediately— thinning hair, nice brown eyes. However the head shot hadn't revealed the paunch around his middle. That was a disappointment. He liked a toned body. But Gary flashed him a smile and he took the barstool next to him. "What are you drinking?" Gary asked. "Guinness." Gary ordered him a beer and made small talk about the weather. He mentioned the adjoining restaurant had good food. Could he be hinting at dinner later? It might be a possibility. Gary seemed like an okay guy. "So what do you do?" Jack finally asked. 41

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"I sell real estate. The market is crap but I'm hanging in there. What about you?" "I work for a survey office." "Must be interesting," Gary snickered. "Meeting all those women, I mean." He sighed. Gary wasn't the first to think he worked the malls, intercepting busy housewives to collect information for market research. "It's not that kind of survey." "So what kind is it?" The man might not be the brightest bulb in the box but at least he seemed interested in more than a quick blowjob. "Land surveys." "Oh, I get it. You do the boundary surveys and write the legal descriptions for properties, that kind of thing." "That's part of it. We work construction mostly. You've probably seen our guys on site, coordinating with the contractor, laying out everything according to the engineering designs. Making sure it all goes according to plan." Gary's eyes lit up. "So you're one of those guys who walk around in a hardhat." Is that what Gary was looking for? Maybe he should stretch the truth. Nah. If he saw him again, he'd find 42

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out sooner or later. "Well, actually I work in the office," he explained and Gary's face fell. "On the computer. I'm a survey drafter. I use Computer Aided Design software to prepare the drawings and maps from the surveyors' data." Gary looked bored. Not that he blamed him. He bored himself. And he had a thing for hardhats too. He'd been drooling over Alex in his hardhat and steel toed boots since he met him. Jack tried to make his job sound a little more important. "And I do quantities and cost projections for the materials." "Sounds like a lot of responsibility," Gary offered. "Our businesses are kind of related. I guess you fellows had your down times too." One thing led to another and he found himself telling Gary about his other down times. He admitted that this was his first real date as a gay man. After that Gary seemed to think it was his duty to educate Jack in every aspect of gay culture. No matter where the conversation went —movies, restaurants, TV shows— Gary went on about how it related to life as a homosexual man. The more they talked, the more flamboyant Gary became. Soon he was in full performance mode and people around the bar were rolling their eyes. Jack got increasingly 43

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uncomfortable. As soon as Gary gave him an opening he made an excuse about working an early shift Saturday and took off. Shit. Gary hadn't been his ideal man. Not even close. But he might have become a friend if he wasn't so… so gay. Evidently he had been right all along. Meeting someone on the internet was not for him. Maybe he should put an ad in the paper— gay friends wanted.

****

Thankfully, Gary hadn't called on Saturday or Sunday. Maybe his luck would hold. He didn't want to see him again and he hated making up excuses. He hated Mondays too. Another long boring week stretched in front of him. Loud voices coming from the locker room caught his attention. If he could hear them from his cubicle, they must be yelling. He couldn't get the gist of the conversation. Curious, he went to the men's room, adjacent to the lockers, so he could hear better. It was all about softball season. They were starting up their games again and arguing over teams. No one asked him or the other two guys who worked in the drafting 44

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room. He didn't care. Maybe a little. Briefly, he wondered if Alex would be playing. He put an image of Alex in shorts and sneaks out of his head. But a light bulb went off. Plan B was right under his nose all along. Thanks guys for reminding me. They might not want him on their team but he could still play. He'd find an organization where he'd be accepted and could be himself. He couldn't wait for the day to end so he could get online and look for what he wanted. It didn't take long. Practice was starting up that weekend for the city's gay softball league. With twenty-five teams and five hundred members, it had to be the largest gay sports organization in the area. The season ran from April to July. They played Sundays at the Park and encouraged all skill levels. He could get some exercise and meet men at the same time. Perfect.

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Chapter Five Despite the light rain, tryouts continued— until Jack stepped up to bat. Then the heavens opened up and everybody took off. Most ran to their cars. He took cover under the park canopy with other die-hards who were still hoping the rain would stop enough so they could continue. "It looks like a washout." Jack turned to the man on his left; a silver fox, if he ever saw one. Tall, lean, stylish clothes, he looked like an older Anderson Cooper. When he smiled, little creases feathered at the corners of his eyes. "I'm probably getting too old for this but I just can't bring myself to give it up." His eyes bugged out. "You look like you're in better shape than I am." The fox held out a hand. "I'm Richard Caldwell." "Jack Monroe." Richard had a nice firm handshake. "First time, Jack?" "Uh." "Playing softball." Jack grinned sheepishly. "I played in college. Not since. They may not even want me." "Oh they'll want you. There are different levels for beginners to advanced players." Richard studied him for 46

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moment. "This is only going to get worse. There's a sports bar around the corner. Want to make a run for it?" He had a moment's hesitation but he squashed it. After all this is why he came out in the first place— to meet other men. And it looked like he just hit the jackpot. "Sure. It sounds like a good idea." As long as I stay out of the bathroom. He needn't have worried. It wasn't a gay bar and his new friend wasn't anything like Gary. A partner in a big law firm and a founding member of the softball league, Richard was an interesting man. He knew everybody and he was active in local politics. They had a drink and exchanged numbers. Jack didn't expect Richard to call, but he did. Flattered, he accepted a dinner invitation for Friday. By Friday morning, his nerves were stuck in high gear. Why had Richard picked him? Intelligent, better looking men were probably knocking each other over for a chance to date the silver fox. Then he worried about what to wear. Ironically, his date had picked the same place where he had met Gary. Most of the men he'd seen there had dressed informally. Finally he decided on a collared shirt and a sports jacket. As soon as he walked in, he saw the older man waiting at the bar. He had a martini in his hand, Jack 47

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ordered one too. Relieved at seeing the silver fox dressed similarly to him, he admitted he'd worried about what to wear. Richard had a knack for putting people at ease. He talked about a junior lawyer who argued a case and the presiding judge gave him a dressing-down over his attire. "What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?" Jack shook his head. "I don't know." "Your honor." He laughed, jitters gone. They talked about the softball tryouts. They'd been rescheduled. Before long their table was ready. Gary had been right about the food. It was excellent. A few more drinks and Jack opened up about his one experience at a gay club. Richard admitted to a few such encounters in his younger days. "Then I was fortunate enough to meet the love of my life. Sadly he died five years ago. Cancer." "I'm so sorry," He said. "Thank you. We had twenty great years together. That's more than most people get." "I hope I'm lucky enough to find the right one." "You will. It happens when you least expect it. Getting involved is a great start. Hey, you met me. Right?" He laughed, but Richard was right. Meeting him 48

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had been a stroke of luck. This was a friendship he wanted to cultivate. "I'm sorry you had a less than ideal experience. Not all clubs are the same. In fact, I belong to an exclusive club, a place where a gentleman can relax and be himself." Jack's ears perked up. "Where is this place?" "It's not well known. Members only." His initial excitement faded. "How do you get to be a member?" "Invitation only and membership is limited. The establishment takes the security and privacy of the members very seriously." Richard looked at him shrewdly. "Interested? Members can bring guests. I only need to make a phone call. Yes! He was intrigued by the idea of an upscale gay club. A gentlemen's club filled with real gentlemen. Pleased that his date wanted to spend time with him, he also felt a bit apprehensive. He thought the older man would probably expect sex. Not that he wasn't a great catch; he had everything a man could want, good looks, intelligence, and a great personality. He wasn't Alex but maybe he was just what the doctor ordered.

****

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There was no purple awning or anything else to distinguish the brownstone but Jack recognized The Gentlemen's Club from Richard's description. It was a far cry from the Canopy Club. A veritable mansion, it was the last of a row of five Victorian brownstones, gated and equipped with a numbered keypad. Richard punched in a few numbers and the gate opened for them. "The other buildings are owned by members and available for rentals. We have the utmost privacy here," Richard told him. An attractive young man in black slacks and white shirt met them at the end of the driveway and took the car. Five stone steps led up to cobalt blue double doors. They opened, and another similarly dressed man led them through a small vestibule to an opulent foyer with wainscoting and French period wallpaper. Jack took it all in. He felt way out of his comfort zone. A striking, seemingly ageless man, in a black suit descended a grand curved staircase to greet them. "Mr Caldwell. Good to see you. And this is your guest." "Hello St Clair." They shook hands. "This is Jackson Monroe." "Welcome to our establishment, Mr Monroe." St Clair shook his hand and smiled. "There's a table reserved for you gentlemen upstairs." 50

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Jack had a quick peek at the restaurant through tall arched pocket doors on his left. Then St Clair whisked them over to the elevator, already open and waiting. I could get used to this. Unfortunately he'd never be able to afford it. The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened silently, letting them out in another vestibule that led to another world. Across the small space, heavy double doors opened and he heard the muted sounds of conversation. A man at the door waited to escort them to their table. Jack let his eyes get used to the dim light as they walked past the classic bar. High ceilings, polished hardwood floors and cherry wood paneling created a backdrop for banquette style seating, small tables and chairs. On the other side of the bar, pocket doors were opened to admit them to another, larger room with dance floor and elevated performance stage. Their cozy niche with settee and plush chairs had an intimate and romantic atmosphere. Richard ordered them Lagavulin on the rocks and leaned back against the settee. "Well? What do you think?" "It's amazing. Thank you for inviting me." 51

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The silver fox smiled mysteriously. "You haven't seen anything yet." He wondered what could top this. He enjoyed seeing how the other half lived but the air of gentility and wealth put him off a bit. He felt like he didn't belong. Drinks were set in front of them just as the lights were lowered and the DJ's voice came over the loudspeaker. "Gentlemen, it's Friday evening and you know what that means here at the lounge. It's time to welcome our featured performer." The erotic beat of Mika's "Relax, Take It Easy" started playing and suddenly a low-key lounge transformed into a pulsating nightclub. More men streamed into the room and filled the seats. The crowd started clapping wildly. A spotlight shone down on the stage and a man stepped under it. The clapping got louder. Jack's heart skipped a beat and he let out an involuntary gasp. The dancer was a dead ringer for Alex. He leaned forward for a better look. Fuck! It was Alex. There was no mistaking the dark, unruly curls as he flipped his head back and strutted across the stage. The spotlight followed him, illuminating his body, shown off to perfection in black leather that fit like a second skin. He 52

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wanted to reach out and touch the sensual material, run his hand over those muscular thighs. Alex faced front and flashed the crowd a dazzling grin. He grabbed the edges of his leather vest and pulled them apart revealing a covering of dark hair between chiseled pecs. Jack stared slack-jawed at the dark treasure trail that disappeared under the leather pants. Richard leaned over and spoke in his ear. "He's magnificent isn't he?" Oh yeah! He croaked out a response, but he couldn't take his eyes off the bulge at Alex's crotch. It occurred to him that everyone else in the room was looking at the same thing. He glanced over at Richard. The man was practically salivating, his hand on his pants, massaging his own crotch. He had never felt such intense jealousy, ever. It was like someone had kicked him in the gut with steel-toed boots. He tried to squelch it. Alex was nothing to him. Just a coworker. A coworker with a secret life he knew nothing about. Alex's face was flush with excitement. Did he actually enjoy this? Parading around in front of a crowd of drooling men. It sure looked that way. He knew that the blinding spotlight prevented Alex from seeing him, or anyone else in the audience for that matter. But when his sex god turned on that wicked grin 53

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and looked in his direction, he swore it was meant just for him and his heart lurched. Realistically he knew that smile was meant for every man in the room and it just about destroyed him. That's when he almost got up and left. Almost. No way did he want his coworker to know he was there, but the thought of seeing the guy he lusted after, sans clothes, kept him rooted to his seat. He wanted nothing more than to sit in the dark, watch Alex strip, and pretend he was doing it just for him. He wondered what the man's girlfriend thought of all this. She had to know. Her man would be out all night. She probably didn't care as long as he wasn't out with another woman and he brought all the money home. Plenty of straight guys were gay for pay. Some even did porn. Shit no! Not Alex. Alex lowered one side of his vest and rolled a muscled shoulder. Somebody yelled, "Take it off!" and Jack winced. Alex laughed and took his time lowering the other side. Finally he let it slip to the floor. Then he turned his back and bent over to pick it up. The whistles and hoots could be heard over the thumping beat. He was as mesmerized by the sight of that tight firm ass as any other man there. Alex finally straightened up and threw the vest off 54

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to the side. His sweat-slick torso gleamed under the light and Jack's tongue itched to lick the drops from his chest. Who was this man bumping and grinding in time to the primal beat. The hardhatted surveyor had disappeared, replaced by a man who danced as if nothing else mattered, sensual and utterly unselfconscious. He moved to center stage, put his hands behind his head and rolled his hips in circles. His bulging package, perfectly outlined under black leather made Jack's mouth water. And probably every other man in the room as well. Alex knew exactly how to tease his audience. The crowd held a collective breath when his hands went to the waistband of the leather pants. He inched them down, wiggled and danced in a circle. He flashed another dazzling smile and tugged the pants down a little lower. Tantalizing curls of dark pubic hair peeked above the waistband. The crowd hooted and yelled for more. Jack swore he could smell the testosterone in the room. Nothing like a fucking hot body to loosen up a bunch of filthy-rich highsociety types. Alex's hands went to his left hip. Inch by agonizing inch he worked a zipper that ran down the seam of his pant leg. Jack had never been so turned on in his life. When 55

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Alex started on the right leg, he wanted to leap on the stage and rip the damn pants off his body. With both sides unzipped, Alex turned his back. He tugged on the ties that held his pants together and they fell to the floor. The crowd roared as he flexed his firm, round ass. Not even a g-string marred his perfection. Jack's blood pumped hot and went straight to his groin. When Alex turned, the sight of his fully erect penis sent a jolt of electricity to Jack's own throbbing erection. He thought he might come in his pants, just from looking. If his sex god had stepped in front of him at that moment he would have dropped to his knees and worshipped him.

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Chapter Six "Would you like to meet him?" Richard asked after Alex left the stage and the lights went up again. "Uh…" Jack couldn't keep the look of horror off his face. "He doesn't bite." Richard smiled at him. "Not much anyway." Inwardly he groaned. Shit! Dancing he could almost understand, but Alex was whoring himself out as well. He must need the money really bad. I guess his girlfriend has expensive tastes. "Alex doesn't usually mingle with the members but we go back a long way. I can ask the waiter to invite him over for a drink." "No!" Jack said emphatically. "Talk to me, Jack. What's bothering you?" He took off his glasses and closed his eyes for a second while he considered his response. "This is all new to me." "I know it's a lot to take in. Maybe I shouldn't have brought you here. My intentions were good." He tried to put a leash on the green-eyed monster that reared its ugly head when he thought about Richard and Alex together. "No. It's okay. I'm glad you brought me. 57

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You've been a good friend." "But?" "I haven't…" He felt his face flame hot. "I mean I didn't—" "You haven't had sex yet." The older man broke in and ended his torture. "I mean aside from that rough encounter in a bathroom." Could this get any more embarrassing? Mortified, he averted his eyes. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone has a first time," Richard said. "Perhaps I can help you with that. Make it easier." Oh shit! "It's late. I should really go." Richard laughed. "I'm sorry. It's not funny. You misunderstand my intentions. Not that I wouldn't enjoy fucking you, but I enjoy our friendship too much to risk losing it." And the answer is yes, it could. If only the floor would open up and swallow him. "I have something else in mind. First, I want you to know that our club is quite exclusive, even a bit secretive. I guarantee that all personal information is strictly confidential. Keep in mind that some members may be married and don't want their sexual preferences made public." 58

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"Married?" "Yes. Some men, especially those in politics, like to keep up a certain appearance. I'm telling you all this to assure you that whatever you do here will stay here." I don't think I like where this is going. "While many members come for a quiet dinner or drink, there is what St Clair calls related services. Other activities geared toward specific needs." He blanched. "Are you talking about a sex club?" "In a manner of speaking." Richard smiled. "What if there was a place where you could live out your wildest fantasies. Make your dreams come true. Create your perfect romance." "I don't think a place like that exists." "Jack, my boy. You're sitting in it. At The Gentlemen's Club you can experience your most electrifying dreams, or your darkest desires." "How is that possible?" His curiosity took over. "We owe it all to St Clair. It took him several years to find the perfect building. One by one the other four attached brownstones went up for sale and several of us bought them up, too. St Clair outfitted them to our needs and he runs everything like a well-oiled machine. The man's a genius. Don't ask me how he does it." "And the participants?" 59

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"All highly screened individuals, tested periodically for sexually transmitted diseases, among other things. Of course, you would be required to provide a medical certificate as well as a non-disclosure agreement." It sounded pretty good to a former uptight asshole who worried about everything and anything. And he already knew exactly what his fantasy would be. The more he heard, the more his excitement level rose. It occurred to him that something like that would cost a small fortune and his high spirits took a nose dive. "I don't think I can afford something like that." "I pay a hefty fee for membership and services I rarely use. Not to mention the taxes on my brownstone. I'm happy to offer them to a friend who can make better use of them." "I don't know what to say." "Say yes." "Yes." "Good." Richard signaled the waiter. "Ask St Clair if we can see him for a few minutes."

****

They took the elevator to St Clair's office on the third floor. The expensive furnishings were similar to those 60

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on the other floors. St Clair showed them to a comfortable grouping of chairs and they sat around an ornately carved coffee table. Nervous, Jack fidgeted with his glasses. St Clair tried to put him at ease with sherry and a bit of small talk. "Did you enjoy your visit, Mr Monroe?" "Yes, everything was perfect." "And the entertainment?" "He's perfect too," he blurted, then flushed hot. "I mean, the dancer was very good." Hearing Alex called the entertainment didn't sit well. A hint of a smile touched St Clair's lips. "I hope your request doesn't include our dancer. He doesn't take part in any activities, aside from the dancing that is." He breathed a sigh of relief. At least Alex wasn't selling his body to the highest bidder. The thought of him in another man's bed cut him to the quick. And the last thing he wanted was for Alex to know what he was up to. "No." Not the real Alex anyway. "But I'd like to uh, engage a gentleman who looks like your dancer." There it was out. Richard leaned forward and asked in a conspiratorial manner, "Can you make it happen, St Clair? This will be Jack's first time. It should be everything he wants it to be." 61

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He looked around as if checking for an escape route. It had to be painfully obvious to St Clair that he was a virgin, but hearing it out loud humiliated him. "Of course. That won't be a problem." Shit! It might be a problem for him. It sounded like heaven on the surface. But how much pretending would it take to make it feel like he was really with Alex? Now he was afraid his pathetic attempt at making his dream come true would just make things worse. Richard seemed to feel his discomfort. He leaned over and patted his arm. "St Clair will make sure everything goes smoothly." "Indeed I will. Plan everything exactly the way you want it. Take your time. Call me when you're ready." He handed Jack two plain white card business cards. "And make an appointment with our doctor." He smiled at Richard. "You already have a lawyer. Leave the rest up to me."

****

Alex pulled into a parking garage across the street from the Atrium. He barely missed getting hit by a taxi as he made his way to the restaurant. Even on a Sunday morning the downtown area hummed with traffic. 62

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He gave the maître d' Richard's name and was led to his table. They smiled at each other as he seated himself across from his former lover. "Nice place. You always did have a thing for dark wood and chandeliers." Richard laughed. "You know me too well. Actually, it's the food that brings me back here. Everything from carved beef to sushi. You'll like it." "I like it already." Alex picked up the Mimosa sitting at his place and held it up. "What are we drinking to?" "How about, to old friends who haven't seen each other in much too long a time." They touched the glasses together lightly. "You can see a lot more of me if you come to the lounge on the weekends." Richard chuckled. "I was there Friday. You were fantastic as always." "You must have been with someone special if you didn't invite me over for a drink." "I was with a very special young man. It was his first time at a gay club, a decent gay club anyway." His eyebrows shot up. "How young is he?" "I believe he's twenty-eight." "And just coming out. You have your work cut out 63

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for you." "I introduced him to St Clair. He's setting something up." "With you? I thought you didn't do those scenes anymore. "I'm not involved at all. He wants an Alex." "Oh no." He held up his hands in protest. "I don't do scenes. You know that." "I do know it. And St Clair informed him of it. He'll settle for a lookalike." He wasn't surprised. He'd been dancing for awhile and a lot of guys liked his looks. He'd turned down many requests for more than a dance. "Who's he getting to fill my g-string?" "I have no idea. I'm sure he'll be adequate, but whoever he is, he won't compare with the real thing." "Thank you Richard. But flattery will not get me into your bed this morning." Richard smiled broadly. "That's not my intention at all. I'm only interested in brunch. I hadn't seen you dance in awhile and it reminded me how much I missed talking to you." He stopped and chuckled. "Guess I'm getting old." "Never," Alex stated adamantly. Richard raised a shoulder in resignation. "It happens to all of us sooner or later." 64

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"Not to you." "Thank you, Alex. For what it's worth, I did want you to join us." "But." "Unfortunately, the young man was so star struck, he was afraid to meet you." "Afraid to meet me, but he wants to fuck me. Who is this guy anyway?" "You know I can't tell you his name." "Of course you can. I'm not just a friend. I'm employed by the club and sworn to secrecy." Alex put one hand over his heart and held the other up. "Under penalty of death." "That's awfully melodramatic." "But true. St Clair would have my head." "Perhaps you're right. He's very protective of anything to do with the Club." Richard smiled. "You know, I think you'd like him." "St Clair? Of course I like him. Everybody does. A sardonic smile creased Richard's face and he quirked an eyebrow. "My young gentleman friend. He's a cerebral type, works on computers at Keystone Survey." Alex choked on his drink and spewed champagne and orange juice across the table. Richard stared at him and signaled for the waiter. 65

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"Are you alright?" He started to stand but Alex waved him down. He coughed into his napkin while the waiter hovered anxiously. He wiped his face and looked up. "I'm fine. Really. That was just hard to swallow." He glared at Richard, who looked back confused. "Can I have another drink please?" Relieved the waiter took off. "Are you sure you're okay," "Jackson Monroe." Alex spit out. Richard's eyes opened wider, and he was a tough man to surprise. "Well well," he replied. "Small world." "Too small. I work with him at Keystone. They hired me when business picked up." "I guess I haven't seen you in awhile." His ex frowned. "But I don't understand why he didn't tell me." "I guess he doesn't want me to know he's gay, not that I didn't already suspect it." Alex shook his head. "The guys at the office think I have a girlfriend. I'm new there and it was just easier." His mind churned. "Maybe he thinks I'm a straight guy looking to make extra money. Who knows what he thinks. The man is closed mouthed as they come. I can't get a word out of him." Richard's shrewd eyes probed his. "You want more than a word." It wasn't a question. 66

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"You're too damn intuitive." "I'm a lawyer after all." He looked thoughtful for a minute. "He has a big crush on you Alex and he's afraid to show it. He's a virgin and just getting his head around it all." Richard's eyes squinted with mischief. "Still dead set against doing a scene?" Was he? He ran his hands through his hair. He wanted to be the one to pop Jackson's cherry. To make love to him, sweet and gentle, hard and fast, all night long. Then fall asleep in his arms. Pretty scene. Was it possible? Jackson didn't want the real him. But Alex wouldn't be able to live with the thought that some imposter had his hands on his man. If he let this opportunity pass like all the others he'd never forgive himself. "Maybe I'll make an exception in this case."

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Chapter Seven Two weeks passed slowly, or so Jack thought. When the big day finally came, it seemed like they'd gone by in a flash. He was a wreck. He'd thought about taking the day off from work, but in the end he changed his mind. If he sat home all day he'd go stark raving mad. Instead, he planned to skip lunch and leave at noon. Food wouldn't sit well in his nervous stomach anyway. A little nap sounded good. Maybe a valium to calm his nerves. He didn't have much to do other than show up. Once he passed muster in the doctor's office and St Clair had all the necessary paperwork, his job was done. The rest was up to St Clair. He had no doubt that everything he asked for would be provided. But he'd give it all up for a burger and fries with Alex. At eleven forty-five he started saving his work and cleaning off his desk. He glanced at the clock and— "Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me." Alex, leaning against his cube with folded arms, studied him with a serious expression. "You leaving?" "Yeah. Why?" Instead of slowing down, his heart started pumping faster. Alex's cologne made him weak in 68

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the knees. Had he told St Clair the right fragrance? The clone had to smell like Alex as well as look like him. "I haven't seen you lately. I wanted to go over some figures but I guess it'll have to wait until Monday." "I can stay a little longer." Why did he torture himself like this? "No. I don't want to hold you up." Alex grinned at him. "Got a hot date tonight?" He almost bust a gut. "No." "Too bad." Alex smirked. "I do." Fucker. "Have fun." Angry, he started throwing stuff in his bag. "Oh, you can count on it. I can't wait to get my hands on that smoking hot body." "Excuse me. I'm outta here." He practically shoved Alex out of the way. He swore he could hear him laughing as he ran out the door.

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Jack stopped at the gate and punched in the numbers St Clair had given him. He drove up the driveway and one of St Clair's army of men-in-black met him and took the car. He looked up at the blue doors and had an urge to 69

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storm the building. Alex was in there stripping. The real Alex. Then he was going home to fuck his girlfriend. His heart twisted. The young man caught his attention and directed him through the gate to the next building. He'd already gotten the key with his instructions. He felt sick. He could still turn and run. It wasn't too late. But what was the point? He couldn't have Alex and sooner or later he'd meet someone. Why look like an inexperienced dipshit when he had an opportunity for SEX 101. So, while he got fucked by a stranger, Alex would be taking his clothes off for a bunch of strangers. How fucked up was that? At least they were in separate buildings, with no chance of running into each other. He might make an ass of himself but at least Alex would never know. Shaking, he couldn't get the key in the hole. He took a few deep breaths and tried again. Relief flooded him when he opened the door and realized he was completely alone. He'd specifically told St Clair that he didn't want anyone in the building when he arrived, not even his men-in-black. He didn't want anyone to witness his blind date. The foyer looked plain compared to the other 70

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building, black and white tiled floor and white walls. A chameleon building, he thought. Subject to change. Briefly, he wondered what fantasy it would house when he was gone. His eyes fixed on a wood door with a window and he walked toward it. To the left of the door a sign had been mounted with black lettering, Keystone Survey, Inc. Heart pounding against his ribs, he pushed it open. It swung shut behind him and at once he was transported to the familiar room he occupied five days a week. How did St Clair do it? Did he sneak someone in to take photos of his workplace? On his right were the flat files, hanging racks, data storage and a large format printer and scanner. On his left, three cubicles, one behind the other. His was the last one. He approached it with trepidation. The desk was the same, a clutter of papers and field books surrounding the computer and monitor. Everything looked the same. Except the coffee mug. His hand shook as he picked it up. It almost fell from his fingers when he looked at the picture— a man in a hardhat standing behind a tripod with the words, Surveyors do it Better, printed beneath him. Some jokes are just not funny. The alternative world looked familiar yet felt subtly different. It threw him off balance, made him dizzy. He sat 71

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behind the desk and looked at his watch. Ten forty-five. His fuck buddy was due at eleven. There was still time to get out of here with his dignity intact. No. The stage was set and the show must go on. By tomorrow morning he would be a changed man, initiated into the mysterious world of male-male sex. He'd never get another chance like this. He glanced at his watch again. Show time and he wanted to be on his feet. He walked over to the steel file cabinets and opened a drawer, as if he planned to search for prints. Surprised to find real contract drawings, he started to rifle through them. The door opened and swung shut. His breath caught in his throat at the familiar sound of steel toed boots stomping across the floor. Frozen in place, his fingers gripped the cold metal for support. He caught a whiff of Versace and sweat behind him. Alex! No not Alex. Large masculine hands closed on his arms. Warm breath fanned his neck. Lips grazed his ear and whispered softly. "Is this what you want?" What the…?! He turned and stared at the face that haunted his dreams at night. 72

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"Am I what you want?" Alex whispered. Just fucking kill me now and get it over with! His face contorted with anger and hurt. What kind of game were these people playing? "Damn St Clair. He told me you wouldn't do this. How much is he paying you?" It took all his strength to push the man away but he needed to put space between them. "Nobody lied to you Jackson," Alex said softly. "And I don't fuck for money." "No," He spit out. "You just strip so a bunch of horny guys can jerk off in the dark." "Is that what you did when you watched me?" Alex moved closer. His face went hot. Alex knew he'd been at the lounge. He knew everything. A myriad of emotions went through him, all mixed with a healthy dose of lust. "Or did you wait until you got home? Sit in the dark and think about me while you got yourself off? Let me do that for you Jackson," The hardhat went flying and landed on the floor. "Wouldn't you rather have my hands on your cock?" Fuck you! He'd wanted nothing else for months, but not like this. If only Alex were really gay. If only he didn't strip. If only they were two guys who just hit it off… "You son of a bitch!" He clenched his fists and 73

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launched himself at the other man. "Stop playing games with me." Alex caught his arms, and pressed him against a file with his muscular body. He was a little taller and he put a finger under Jack's chin to tilt his head up. "Does this feel like I'm playing games?" His erection pressed against Jack's. "Still think I'm getting paid?' How could he think about anything with that steel rod pressed against his cock? "I don't want a pity-fuck from you." Don't I? For a second he didn't care. He wanted this. Anyway he could get it. Alex laughed and he went crazy, twisting and trying to push him off. "Get off me. Go home to your girlfriend." "I don't have a girlfriend." He froze. "You broke up?" "I'm gay, you asshole." His heart thumped wildly against his ribs while he tried to make sense of what he just heard. "I never had a girlfriend. I didn't want to go out drinking with the men and they just assumed I had somebody at home. It was easier not to correct them." He flashed that wicked grin. "But it made it damn near impossible to get close to you." Was he hearing things? "You wanted to be close to me?" 74

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"From the first minute I met you." His wildest fantasies were coming true and he couldn't wrap his head around it. How many Alex's were there? He couldn't reconcile this new image with the ones he'd carried in his mind for so long. All he knew for sure was that he wanted to taste that mouth so temptingly close to his, but he couldn't force himself to make the first move. He parted his lips in mute invitation. Alex groaned and closed the distance between them. The kiss set off shock waves. It was like nothing he'd ever experienced before and he returned it eagerly, loving the feeling of being held in a strong, masculine embrace. He pulled back to catch his breath. "Wow," he said huskily. "Yeah, wow," Alex responded. He had his sex god in his arms, drop-dead gorgeous Alex with a boner harder than his own, if that was possible, and he didn't know what to do with him. "I, uh." The familiar chuckle thrilled him to his very core. "Do you want to take me upstairs?" He knew there was a room waiting for them, if he chose to use it, but he didn't want to let go of Alex long enough to get upstairs. He was afraid the man would disappear and he'd wake up and find out it had all been a dream after all. "I don't think I'll make it." He flushed with shame. 75

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"Good, I don't think I can wait either." Those strong hands roamed over his back and slid down to squeeze his ass. The fear of disappointing Alex made him tense. "Are you sure you want this." Oh yeah! He wanted it and he intended to enjoy every minute of it. There was no guarantee it would happen again.

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Chapter Eight Alex might be ready to blow his load, but he was going to slow things down if it killed him. He wanted to make this good for Jackson. Not because he was getting paid. He wasn't. But because he hoped tonight would lead to more. He wanted his man's first time to be special and he felt honored that Jackson wanted him, or at least someone who looked like him, to be his first. All kinds of protective feelings swirled around in his head. He didn't want to hurt him and he wanted more than just lust between them. Jackson threw his arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Damn, the man made him weak in the knees. He'd wanted this for so long, it was tough to stop and play teacher. "I want to touch you," he murmured, his words lost in their kiss. Jackson groaned and leaned his head back against the files. He took that as a yes and massaged the hard bulge grinding against him. Jackson's breathing sped up and his own arousal ramped up another notch. Tugging at the zipper, he tried to take it as slow as humanly possible in his current state. Jackson's freed cock, 77

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long and thick and hard, burned hot in his hand and made his mouth water. He stroked the shaft a few times. "Do you like this?" He murmured. The answer was a soft moan. Encouraged, he moved his hand up and down, slow, then faster, then slow again. Jackson's hips arched and pumped into his fist. Uhuh. Too soon. He took his hand away. "Jesus!" Jackson's whole body shuddered. Alex could feel his man's frustration as acutely as his own. Leaning forward, he whispered. "I want to suck your cock. Is that okay, baby?" "God yes," Jackson hissed. He dropped to his knees pulling the other man's jeans and underwear down with him. The weeping cock in front of his face begged for attention. He rubbed his cheek along the silky skin of the shaft, then dipped his tongue in the slit. The taste of saltysweet pre-cum exploded in his mouth. "Delicious." He looked up and caught Jackson's heavy-lidded gaze, his ragged breathing. The man wouldn't last long and he didn't want their first time to end in a hand job. He took him in his mouth and let his cock slide to the back of his throat until his nose pressed against the wiry thatch of pubic hair. The man's musky scent drove him 78

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crazy, and every time he heard a moan above him, he got closer to his own release. He slid his mouth up Jackson's dick and sucked in earnest while he rolled his balls in one hand. With the other he freed his own throbbing cock and pumped into his fist. "Fuck!" Jackson groaned harshly. "I can't wait." Alex didn't need any more encouragement. He sucked harder until finally Jackson cried out his name and came hard. He swallowed spurt after spurt of thick salty cum until his balls tightened and he shuddered with his own release. Spent, he stayed on his knees a few minutes, his forehead resting on Jackson's groin, the man's hands fisted in his hair. He wished he could have made this last longer but he did the best he could. Finally he stood, wiping his hands on his jeans. Jackson was leaning back against the files, eyes closed. He grabbed him and pulled him close. Nuzzled his neck. "I'm sorry, baby." "Why?" "I really wanted to make this special for you and I came so damn fast." "No apology needed. I think I beat you to the finish line." Jackson gave him an achingly sweet kiss. "Besides you make it special just by being here. Thank you." 79

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"It's not over. We have the place all night, if we want it." He hesitated. "Do we want it?" "Hell yes!" Jackson's hands roamed over his ass. "I was expecting some stranger, a poor imitation of what I really wanted. I figured I'd be out by two a.m. max. Wham. Bam. Thank you Man. Now I wish we had the place for a week." "That could be arranged." He grinned seductively. "I know the man who owns it." "Richard." "Yes." Jackson wanted to know more, he could sense it. But he didn't want to talk about the past right now. This was about them. Why bring old lovers into the equation? "We'll talk later." He bent down to catch Jackson's jeans. Damn. The man was getting hard again. He smiled while he tried to tuck the growing erection back in his pants. "If we don't have our mouths full that is."

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They had the entire second floor to themselves. A large modern apartment fully equipped with living room, eat in kitchen, huge bedroom, and a bath with a shower for two, or more. And the refrigerator and bar were fully stocked. 80

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"I didn't bring clothes," Jackson said. "I didn't expect to stay." He watched Alex kick off his boots and shimmy out of his jeans. The man flashed a seductive smile. "I don't think you'll need them." He opened doors to a walk-in closet. "But if you do, you'll find everything you need here." Men's slacks and shirts lined both sides of the closet. Shoes and sneaks as well. "Your glasses might be a problem though." "I'm wearing contacts." He tried not to stare at Alex's bobbing erection. "You got contacts for me?" Alex sounded pleased, then he frowned. "Or to impress my stand-in?" Was he just the littlest bit jealous? God he hoped so. He sure as hell was. Every time he thought of Alex and Richard together he felt more insecure. He couldn't hope to compete with the silver fox, especially in bed. "Nobody could take your place." He assured Alex. "You know why I asked for someone else, right?" "Yeah. But I'd like to hear it from you." "I thought you were straight. I really believed you had a girlfriend." "But you wanted to fuck me?" "From day one," he swore. "Okay then." Alex wrapped his arms around him. 81

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"I'm all yours. What do you want to do with me?" He nipped his ear lobe. "This is your fantasy, baby. You call the shots." Fantasy? Is that all it is? One night and then back to reality. He didn't think he could stand it if that were the case. After tonight he'd never be able to go back to the way things were. How could he go to work every day, see and not touch, after having Alex in his arms? "A penny for your thoughts." "I'm thinking about what I want to do." He refused to waste the night worrying. "Anything I want, right?" "Uh oh." Alex feigned a worried look. "Right now, what I want more than anything…" "Yeah?" "Is to suck your cock." What he lacked in experience, he'd make up with enthusiasm. "Fuck!" Alex groaned. "Later." He pushed him out of the closet and toward the bed. The back of Alex's knees hit the front of the bed and he sat down hard. He leaned back on his hands and spread his legs, giving Jackson easy access. Jack knelt and slid his hands over Alex's thighs, the coarse hair bristled under his palms. Tonight was all about touching, tasting, and learning how to please his partner. 82

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He'd never been this up close and personal with another man's penis. It stood straight up and wagged like a metronome in front of his face. Fascinated, he compared it to his own. Maybe a little longer, no thicker. He traced a finger over the bulging veins and heard a quick intake of breath above him. His mouth closed around the purple head and he let it slide over his tongue. It seemed like such an intimate act, having another's man's dick in your mouth. He swirled his tongue around it and was rewarded with appreciative grunts and groans and a hard thrust down his throat. He gagged, and for a brief second he thought he might not be able to do it, but Alex pulled back immediately and let him set the pace. Jack relaxed his jaw and slid his lips up and down the shaft, swiping the head with his tongue on every pass. The tensing thigh muscles under his hands were his only clue that Alex was holding back. Unintelligible noises and tugging on his hair made him freeze. Unable to talk with his mouth full of cock, he looked up. "Get up here." Alex muttered harshly. "You're too far away." He climbed up on the bed and Alex turned so they were lined up side by side, mouth to crotch. Alex slid an 83

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arm under his bottom leg and he did the same. Alex bent his knee, giving him better access. Again he copied his lover. He didn't think he could be any hotter than he was, but right now he was on fire. Alex used his hand in tandem with his sucking. Jack gave his cock the same attention. Alex sucked harder and he picked up his rhythm. He knew the exact moment his partner was ready to come. His fingers dug into Jack's thighs and he tried to pull out. Jack sucked like a vacuum hose, determined to have his first taste of cum. It came in spurts, and the salty taste set off his own orgasm. Sparks skittered up his spine and he had the most powerful climax of his life. Alex gave him a final suck and a lick and released his cock but Jackson refused to relinquish his hold. He hugged the other man's body to his, not willing to give up an inch of him. "Let me go, baby. You deserve a kiss for giving me the best blowjob of my life." Jack wasn't sure he believed him. How could he be the best? It was the first time he had a dick in his mouth. But all those lovely animalistic sounds that came out of Alex were because of him. And he did make him come, so he must have done something right. "Are you too wiped out for a shower?" Alex 84

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murmured against his cheek. "I'm a mess." He loved the heady smell of sex and sweat surrounding them, and he was content to lie in Alex's arms forever, but nodded agreement. "Yeah, sure." The shower actually felt good. Not so long ago he ran out of the gym like a scared rabbit rather than shower with the guys, and here he was letting another man soap him up and enjoying the slippery feel of masculine hands on his cock and balls. "Are you sure this is your first time?" Alex poured shampoo in his hands and lathered Jack's hair. No one but his mother had ever done that for him. "You think I'm lying." "No, baby." Alex chuckled. "I think you were born to suck cock." His lips twitched with pleasure at the compliment. "So you really weren't disappointed?" "Are you kidding? You're a quick study." "I have a great teacher." "School's not out yet, baby. That was only your first lesson." "I'm looking forward to the rest." "Not so fast. First we get you cleaned up, fed, and rested." "I don't need any rest." 85

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"Maybe I do. I'm older than you, remember?" "A year or two? You must have had a hard life." Suddenly Alex got serious. "I just don't want to hurt you. I'll take it as slow as you want. You don't have to prove anything to me." His chest welled up with something that felt suspiciously like love. Did I just think the "L" word? Yeah. And it felt pretty damn good. "I want you Alex. And I want you to show me how to satisfy you. Don't treat me like a china doll." "I'm satisfied just being here." He nuzzled his neck. "I'll make it good for you. I promise." Those words made him happier than he'd ever been. St Clair must be a magician. He'd made all his dreams come true.

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Chapter Nine For a minute Jack thought he'd been dreaming, then he felt strong arms around him and he sighed in relief. The soft snores were proof positive and music to his ears. He hadn't imagined the whole thing. Light filtered in from the bathroom. He looked at the alarm clock. Three a.m. Damn if they didn't fall asleep. He remembered fooling around a little in bed, then nothing. He zonked out. Both of them had. As much as he hated to disturb Alex, he had to see his face. He twisted in his lover's arms and propped his head on a hand. It was sheer joy just to watch him sleep. Alex opened one eye but it closed immediately. He leaned over and kissed him. "Wake up. The night is young. Or the morning is early." Whatever. "Okay, okay. I'm awake." Alex sniffed. "Mmm. You smell so clean. But these sheets. We should have changed them." Oh no, he liked them as is. Just a whiff of their sexual experience sent him into erotic ecstasy. He wanted to keep the bed linens forever, a reminder of his first time. "I'm glad we didn't. I'm taking them home with me." "Why not take me home instead?" Alex's lips curled in a smile. 87

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His heart soared. Alex wanted to see him again. "That could be arranged. If you promise not to shower." "Come here you freak." Alex pulled him down on top of him and rubbed circles on his back. The man had some serious morning wood and Jack wasn't far behind. He reached between them and squeezed. Alex groaned, then stilled and Jack looked down at him, worried. "Did I hurt you?" "No, baby. I don't want to hurt you." he said with a sigh. "I want to fuck you." A little thrill of fear raced down his spine. He loved sucking cock but he wasn't so sure he wanted one up his virgin ass. "It's up to you, baby. We don't have to do this today." This was Alex. The man he'd fallen for the first time he'd met him. His fear was overridden by an overwhelming desire to have his lover inside him. "Take me." "You sure?" Alex asked. "This is your party. What do you want?" "I want you. It's all I ever wanted." He rubbed his cock against Alex. "I'm ready, stud. Bring it on." His stud seemed pleased by his answer. He wiggled them over to the edge of the bed, reached an arm over the side, and pulled on the drawer of the night table. Blindly, 88

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he rummaged around for a minute. "Fuck! Don't move," he warned seriously. "I'll be right back." And he was, waving a box of condoms in one hand and a tube of something in the other. "I knew they had to be here somewhere." He jumped on the bed and kneeled between Jack's legs. "I want you to tell me if I hurt you." He nodded, already knowing he wouldn't. "Do you want me to roll over?" "No. I want to see your face when I fuck you. Lift your knees." Alex tore a foil package open and rolled a condom over his sizable cock. Jack watched transfixed as he squeezed lube on his hand and covered his latex wrapped dick. Alex leaned over for a kiss, and Jack felt something cool between the cheeks of his ass. He groaned as a finger slipped past the tight ring of muscle. Alex stopped and whispered against his mouth. "Just relax." Another long finger joined the first, then a third. Alex stretched him slowly. "You okay, baby?" After the initial burn, it really did feel fantastic. "Yes," he hissed. And when those fingers raked his prostrate, he jumped and almost came right then. "Oh fuck!" "Soon baby, soon." God, he sure hoped so because he was so ready, he 89

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thought he'd explode. He really wanted this. The fingers disappeared. Alex spread his legs and pushed them up to his chest. "This will hurt a little." A steel rod nudged his resistant hole and pushed inside. Jack's fingers gripped the sheets and he tensed at the burning stretch. Alex froze. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked gently. "No." He'd already waited too long for this. Alex pushed inside a little further with each stroke. Slow and steady pressure and his lover's hand on his dick drove Jack higher. After a while he was begging for more. Alex let out a deep groan and buried his length balls deep. "Jesus, you're so fucking tight," he growled. "Love being inside you. I just hope I can hang on." Harder strokes and the heady smell of sex and sweat sent him spiraling out of this world. Alex leaned over him, murmuring encouragement between kisses. A familiar tingle started in his balls and he tried to hold off his orgasm but the moans and ragged breaths in his ear pushed Jackson over the edge and his climax bubbled up. He grabbed Alex and held him tight against his cock while he exploded between them. "Fuck," Alex groaned, right before his own release. 90

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Jack wrapped his arms and legs around him possessively. "You okay, baby?" Alex gasped. "Never better." Jackson Monroe is finally where he belongs!

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Alex was glad he let Jackson convince him not to shower again. He teased the man unmercifully but he really loved the scent of sex in the morning. Or any other time of day. In fact, he was sorry the smell of the bacon and eggs he was cooking for them, overwhelmed the musky scent of their bodies. Jackson came up behind him and kissed his shoulder. They were both butt naked and Jackson's hard-on nudged his ass in a most inviting way. No more jackrabbit, more like a randy dog. "Keep that up and we'll be forgoing breakfast." "It's fine with me. I'm not really that hungry anyway." Jackson chuckled in his ear and he shivered. "Not for breakfast anyway." "Down boy. I'm hungry. Besides, I have to keep your stamina up so I can have my way with you again. And 91

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again. And again." He shoveled a mountain of food on a plate, added buttered toast, and handed it over. Alex dished out his own food and sat opposite his man at the kitchen table. "I like this domestic side of you," Jackson said between mouthfuls. "I'm seeing a whole new Alex." "I'm a man of many talents." "You are. And I want to see every one of them." "I think you've seen everything I got, baby." Alex grinned at him. "And I love what I see." Jackson stopped confused. "I mean, I think you have a few more lessons in you." "That will take more than one day." It could take the rest of my life. Jackson sighed. "You did say we could stay longer." "We probably could. The house belongs to Richard. He never uses it." "How long have you known him?" Jackson's jealous tone pleased him. It was beginning to look like more than a crush. Maybe he'd be able to let his guard down and get real with someone again. "We met four or five years ago. The company I worked for was being sued over a boundary dispute. My boss hired his firm and we were called in for depositions. Something clicked with us but he didn't pursue it right then 92

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and there. He called me that night and we started going out. When I got laid off I moved in with him and he got me the job at the Club." "He didn't care that you were stripping?" The temperature in the room dropped ten degrees. "Why should he? I came home to him every night." "Why did you break up?" "It had nothing to do with the Club. We were together because we needed each other. He had recently lost his partner to cancer. Mine dumped me and I was having problems at work. Richard is drawn to strays. He has a natural instinct for finding lost souls, like using a dowsing rod to find water." "What kind of problems did you have at work?" He sighed, hating all the questions. What was the point of dredging up all this old crap? "Nobody at the job knew I was gay. It's not that I was hiding it, I just don't make a practice of sharing personal stuff. One of my coworkers saw me kissing a date and outed me. Anyway it didn't go over well at the office. I got into a few fights and eventually I got laid off. Richard asked me to move in. He wanted to sue the company for discrimination but I just wanted to forget about it." "And the date?" "It was just a date. I don't even remember his name. 93

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After my partner left, I wouldn't let anybody get close. Until Richard." Jackson was quiet for a few minutes. "Is that why you don't tell them at Keystone?" "Partly. I don't talk about my personal life. I don't ask them about theirs. It's easier that way." "So how do you want me to act at work?" "Just be normal, Jackson." He snickered. "Or as normal as you can be." "I hate that we can't act like a couple." "Are we a couple?" Jackson flushed and stammered. "I just meant… I don't know what I meant." "I know what you meant." He said softly. "This was a fantasy. Just you and me in our own little world. Things are different on the outside. If you don't want to deal with it, I can live with that. We can still do this once in awhile." Jackson stared at him, disbelief written all over his face. "You could do that? Ignore me at work. Meet here a couple times a year." "If that's what you want." Alex felt sick inside. He really thought they had something special but he wasn't sure the other man was ready. After all, Jackson was just coming to terms with his sexuality. "That's not what I want." 94

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"So what do you want out of this?" "I want to keep seeing you." Thank God, because he sure couldn't handle the other. They would just have to take it slow. "I want that too." "Come to my place tonight. We can go out for dinner. Or I can order in." Jackson gave him a big goofy grin. "Bedroom service." "Better make it breakfast in bed. I'm on until two. By the time I'd get to your place it would be closer to three. But tomorrow's Sunday so we can sleep in." Jackson went rigid. "You're stripping tonight?" He scowled. "Dancing." "You don't have to do that." "I don't have to do anything." Shit. He should have known this would happen. "I just meant, if you need money I can—" "You can what? Pay me for your lessons. I'd rather dance." "What if I don't want you to?" "We don't have that kind of relationship. And even if we did, I'm my own person. You can't run my life for me." "I don't want to run your life. I just don't like knowing a roomful of men are getting off watching you 95

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dance without your clothes." "So the real Alex isn't the perfect guy you thought he was? Maybe we better limit our time to the fantasy room. Or cut it off altogether." He couldn't take the hurt look on Jackson's face. Stepping into his fantasy had been a mistake. If he didn't leave now, he'd give in and give up. Better to end it now than down the road. It would save them both a lot of heartache.

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Chapter Ten Alex looked through the peephole, sighed heavily, and opened the door for Jackson. Obviously nervous, the man just stood there and bit his lip. He pushed his glasses up on his nose and then stuck his hands in his pockets. Two could play this game. If he was waiting for an invitation, he could wait all night. Damn if he'd make this any easier for the asshole. "Can I come in?" Jackson finally broke the silence. "Yeah, sure." He stepped aside and waved him in, then leaned back against the door, folded his arms across his chest and tried to resist that hurt puppy dog look. The puppy stood in the middle of his living room, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He looked around. "Nice place." Cut the crap! He knew damn well his place was far from nice. His furniture was as rundown as the neighborhood. Jackson seemed fixated on his bookshelves. "You sure read a lot." Screw you! He wanted to grab the biggest book on the shelf, a dictionary, and throw it at the man's head. "Because I strip and wear a hardhat, you think I can't read?" 97

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"You know damn well I didn't mean anything like that." He flushed and looked away. "Sorry. Look, I didn't come here to argue with you." "What did you come here for? And how did you find me?" He looked sheepish. "I looked in the personnel files." Alex's emotions warred between disgust and desire. On the one hand he wanted to knock Jackson off his feet. On the other hand he wanted to drag him off to bed and knock him off his feet. And then fuck him senseless. "Why," he said through clenched teeth. "I came to apologize. This past week has been hell." Didn't he just know it? He'd worked overtime morning and night just to avoid seeing him. He couldn't sleep anyway. From the look of the bags under Jackson's eyes, he hadn't slept much either. And he was back to wearing his glasses. He didn't mind that. He preferred the glasses. "Sit down." Alex pointed to the sofa and then sat in the overstuffed chair off to the side. They sat in awkward silence while he watched Jackson pick at his threadbare couch. Finally it got on his last nerve. "It's comfortable. I can't see the point of buying a new one." 98

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"Huh?" "My couch. I can't afford to waste money on new furniture. I'm saving to buy a house." Now why did he feel the need to explain? He'd never apologized to anyone for the way he lived, not even to Richard, who'd offered to buy him furniture after they split up. "Sorry." Jackson clasped his hands in his lap. "I kept hoping to see you at work, but I could never catch you." "I was avoiding you." Jackson looked like he might cry. His heart twisted. He wanted to put his arms around him and tell him it would be okay. Except he wasn't sure it would be. "Then I'll just say my piece and leave." He straightened his shoulders and looked him in the eye. "I was wrong. Wrong to want to change somebody who was already perfect." Shit. That was the problem. He wasn't perfect and sooner or later Jackson would get sick of him and dump him. "Hold on. I thought we went through this already. Nobody's perfect." He tried to keep his voice steady. "Least of all me." Jackson smiled shyly. "I meant perfect for me. If you changed, you wouldn't be the man I fell in love with." Alex stared at him, speechless. Sure, he knew 99

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Jackson had a crush on him. But this… Jackson's face fell. Had he expected to hear the "L" word from Alex? He'd deleted it from his vocabulary years ago. "I know I screwed up. Big time. But if it's any consolation, I'll be suffering for it the rest of my life." He sighed and got up from the sofa. Alex's last defenses crumpled. If he let Jackson walk out that door and out of his life, he'd be the one suffering. He caught the man before he got to the door and pulled him into his arms. When he finally let him surface for air, his glasses were steamed up and a tear slipped down his cheek from beneath them. Alex took the glasses off his face and kissed the tear away. "Where's your contacts?" "My eyes are messed up. They got bloodshot from crying." "Good." Jackson winced and he shook his head. "Not the crying. The glasses. I like them. You look cute in them." "Cute?" "Yeah. You have that whole preppy thing going on. I like it." "You noticed what I wore to work? You were always out in the field. Most of the time, I felt like you didn't even know I was alive." "Oh, I knew all right. Every time I looked at your 100

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cute little ass in those khakis I wanted to throw you over your desk and fuck you senseless." He almost laughed at the stunned expression on the man's face. Almost. "Why didn't you say something?" "I tried. But every time I worked up the nerve somebody came along and ruined my timing." "Christ, I wish I'd known. I was so damn miserable." "I know the feeling. You made me pretty miserable this past week." "I didn't mean to. I only want to make you happy." "Good. Because I'm thinking some makeup sex would make me really happy right now. Come to bed with me." "Wait. I want you to know something first. I don't care if you dance, strip, or stand buck naked out on the construction site. I love you." There it was again— the "L" word. He didn't know whether to be happy or upset. Sure it would be great to have a real relationship with someone he cared for— and he was crazy about his jackrabbit. But Jackson put him up on some pedestal. What if he fell off and turned out to be not so perfect in his lover's eyes. It was the story of his life. He wasn't looking for future heartache. "Sure it's not just the sex?" 101

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"I'm sure. It was never just about sex. Or the fantasy. I want more, a partner to share my life. I want to go to work every day knowing I'll see you when I get home. I want to wake up with your arms around me and I want you to fix me bacon and eggs Sunday morning. I want a real relationship." Jackson grinned at him. "And I want lesson three and four and five." "Geez, you don't ask for much do you?" Alex's tone was light but inside his guts were churning. "Yeah, there's one more thing." He shook his head. "What's left?" "I want you to feel the same." His heart just about dropped to his toes. This was it. The point where he stepped back or jumped in with both feet. Alex licked his lips. "Things have changed." He stopped short at the look on Jackson's face. Then he smiled and cupped his cheek before continuing. "It's just that I gave St Clair notice. I'm not dancing anymore." Jackson put a hand over his. "I don't want you to stop because of me." "I'm not. The timing is right. Dancing was never all about the money. That was only a small part of it. I needed a place where I could be myself and feel accepted. I started to see that I could have that with another person." "I want to be that person." 102

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"You are. You make me feel loved, accepted." He smiled. "Perfect." "I love you." Jackson captured his mouth in a passionate kiss. Alex broke their lip lock. "I love you too, baby." He tugged on Jackson's belt loops and backed up toward the bedroom. "Do you want lesson three today?"

****

"So pretty." Alex looked at Jack's erection and grabbed a condom from the nightstand. His lover's rough sexy voice made his cock leak. "It's all yours, stud." He tried a slutty come-hither smile on for size. "Let me do this for you." Alex inched closer and rolled the latex over his length, then handed him the lube. "It's been a while. Use your fingers first. Okay, baby?" "I know the drill. I won't hurt you." "Just wanna make sure you learned your lesson." "You gonna grade me when it's over?" "Hell, baby, you get an A+ just for showing up." "Roll over and let me earn my grade." God Alex had a beautiful ass. He couldn't believe this gorgeous man belonged to him. He leaned over and kissed his neck, his 103

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back, worked his way down his spine and ended up nuzzling his smooth firm cheeks. Alex shuddered when he rimmed the puckered entrance. "Jesus. You just skipped to lesson four. When we're done here, you're going to tell me where you learned to do that." "I'm allowed a few secrets," he mumbled before he tongued him again. Maybe he'd tell him he read it on the internet. Maybe he'd keep him guessing. As long as his man liked it, that's all he cared about. "Jesus," Alex said breathlessly. "I'll fucking come before you get inside me." He squirted more lube on his hand and slid a finger inside the tight hole. He took it nice and slow, the way Alex had with him. "More, baby, don't stop now." Nothing short of an earthquake could stop him at this point. He added another finger, then a third. Alex pleaded for more and he was so ready, he feared he might come before he got inside. He pulled his fingers out and fisted his slick shaft, lined his cock up and pushed inside his lover. The swollen head popped in and he let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. It felt so damn good, he pressed in a little further. 104

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"Oh fuck!" Alex gasped over and over until he was buried inside him. He started a slow rhythm, pulled out and pushed back in. "I'm so fucking close, I don't think I'm gonna last long." "Harder, baby. Don't hold back." Alex moaned and met him thrust for thrust. He wanted to be closer, to feel his lover's body under him. He leaned over his back, pressing him into the mattress. "That feels amazing." Alex groaned and gripped the bars of the headboard. Jack gripped them too, for leverage. He met every groan and grunt with one of his own. The change in position brought him closer to orgasm and he struggled to hold it off. "Fuck!" Alex exploded, his whole body tensing under him and the muscles of his ass clenching around his cock. He lost it. He had the most incredible orgasm of his life and collapsed boneless on top of his lover. "Hey." Alex grunted under him. "You still alive up there?' "No," Jackson muttered into his ear. "I think I died and went to heaven." But he pulled out slowly and rolled over. Alex turned so they were facing each other, pulled 105

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him closer, and kissed him. They snuggled comfortably for a few minutes before Alex said, "I don't believe you were a virgin." He kissed his nose. "Can I take that as a compliment?" "You sure as hell can. That was amazing." "I love you. Everything feels right when I'm with you. I think I can get used to this." "I hope so, because I love you too, baby." "So are we a couple now?" "You are a pushy son of a bitch." Alex's playful smile told him he was joking. "And a jealous son of a bitch, and you're avoiding the question." "I don't know. Will I have to give up my other boyfriends?" "You won't have time for anyone else. I want you to move in with me." Alex sighed. "There you go with the I wants again." "It makes sense. My place is bigger." "You think we're ready for that?" "Hell yeah." "What if I asked you to move in with me?" Was this some kind of test? Didn't matter. He'd pass with flying colors. "I'd say come back with me and help me 106

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pack my stuff." "Not gonna happen." What had he said wrong? "I want a house Jackson. With a garage for a workshop and a big backyard for a dog. I've had my eye on a certain property for months and it just came down in price. I can afford it now." "What if I don't like it?" "Then we'll look for something else." "Perfect."

The End

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About the Author: Born and raised in the City of Brotherly Love, Gale cut her teeth on True Story magazines and Mickey Spillane paperbacks. These were swiped from her mother and read undercover by flashlight. Her weird choices in reading material —whatever she could get her hands on— inspired a love of romance and the desire to write her own stories. Life took a detour and she raised a family while working as a surveyor and a CAD manager. Now she has the best job in the world, one she can do in her pj's. Her books may be smokin' hot, but at the heart of each story is a romance and each one is written with love. Gale loves to hear from her readers.

Email: [email protected] Webpage: http://galestanley.net/ Blog: http://galestanley.blogspot.com/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gale.stanley.author Twitter: http://twitter.com/galestanley

Also by Gale Stanley:

Available from Silver Publishing: Silent Knights Point of Beginning Love Bytes (February 12, 2011) Sleepless Knights (March 5, 2011) Some Like it Rough (March 19, 2011)

Available at Siren-BookStrand: BLACK WOLF GORGE Call of the Wilds Mating Call Captive (coming soon)

Reviews for SILENT KNIGHTS say:

“Previous experiences have taught both Andy and Paul that being in a relationship makes a person feel like less, not more. But together, the two men create a healthy partnership where they are not dominated, lied to or cheated on. While it is sweet to see the men laugh and play together, their heat burns up the sheets in several m/m sex scenes.” —RT Book Reviews * “Overall, I enjoyed Silent Knights as a nice quick read, with which I spent a few hot hours on a cold night, while cuddled up in the corner of the couch with a warm blanket.” —E-Romance Reviews * “…the fast paced romance between Paul and Andy was sweet, and I found myself really rooting for them to have a happy ending.” —The Romance Reviews * “Overall, I really enjoyed this story and I look forward to reading more by this talented author.” —Happily Ever After Reviews