Glimpses of the God Man Meher Baba Vol. VI




GLIMPSES
of the GOD­MAN
 MEHER
BABA


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Meher Baba washes the feet of seven poor men during a mass darshan, September 12, 1954

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SHERIAR FOUNDATION 1994

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Copyright 1994 Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Charitable Trust, Ahmednagar, M. S., India. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, or transmitted in any form without permission in writing from Sheriar Foundation, 3005 Highway 17 ByPass North, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina 29577 excepting brief quotes embodied in critical articles and reviews. Printed in the United States of America. Other books by Bal Natu: Conversations With The Awakener More Conversations With The Awakener Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba Vol. I (1943-1948) Vol. II (Jan. 1949-Jan. 1952) Vol. III (Feb. 1952-Feb. 1953) Vol. IV (February-December 1953) Vol. V (January 1-March 6, 1954) Books compiled by Bal Natu: Avatar Meher Baba Bibliography,1927 to February 1978 Your Constant Companion Showers of Grace When He Takes Over

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To the Loving and Abiding Presence of the God-Man, Meher Baba

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS First things first: I feel immensely indebted to Avatar Meher Baba for the blessed opportunity given me to share a small portion of His divine life, a period of fourteen months, through this book, Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Volume VI. I gratefully acknowledge the Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Charitable Trust, Ahmednagar, for use of some published material, the copyright of which is vested with the Trust. In the same way, I thank Meher Spiritual Center, Inc., Myrtle Beach, South Carolina; Sheriar Press, Inc., Myrtle Beach, South Carolina; Naosherwan Anzar, Editor of "Glow International," New York; Meher House Publications, Sydney, N.S.W., Australia; Meher Baba Foundation, Woombye, Queensland, Australia; and also Sufism Reoriented, Inc., Walnut Creek, California, for passages taken from the book, How a Master Works. My special thanks to Kishan Singh for his diary notes, to Darwin Shaw and some of the Westerners who wrote accounts of their stay at Meherabad, to Josephine Ross for her poems, and to those of Baba's dear ones in India who provided me with certain important information. It is very difficult for me to express adequately in words my feelings for the large team of Baba lovers, mostly from the West, who spent their time, talents, and energy over a period of four years helping me to present this sixth volume to the readers. It was amazing how the arrivals and departures of these dear friends seemed to have been arranged according to Baba's wish. At the appropriate times, they took their turns working with me on this volume whenever my body and mind were healthy enough to continue. Each one's contribution was of a special nature and enriched the contents. I deeply appreciate their help through all the different stages of this narrative, from the preparation of the first drafts to the final manuscript. Although everyone worked willingly, selflessly, and in a spirit of friendship in Baba's love, I especially wish to mention the names of some of my team members: Steve and

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Daphne Klein, Jeff Wolverton, Mark Keller, Ward Parks, Thom Fortson, Debbie Nordeen, Wendy Crabb, Laurel Magrini, and Kendra Crossen. And to those I haven't mentioned by name, my deepest thanks. Special thanks to Jerry and Shirla Edwards, who made their Macintosh available for this work and participated in the typing and printing of the entire manuscript. The computer was most helpful in the editing process. And finally, let me express my gratitude to the enlightening company of the Meherazad mandali and the Meherazad atmosphere, suffused with Baba's lover, that sustained me in writing this volume. Once again, my wholehearted salutations to the Ancient One, Meher Baba. May His unbinding love be awakened more and more in the hearts of the people, and may Baba's most sacred Name be the breath of my life. Bal Natu February 25, 1992 Meherazad

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PREFACE

It was December 1952. Avatar Meher Baba was in Delhi for a darshan program. In the morning, while sitting with His disciples in the house of one of His lovers, He heard someone singing softly. It was a young village boy who was sweeping the floor in the next room. Meher Baba sent for him and expressed a wish that the boy sing two of the Urdu lines again. The boy happily did this, and Baba looked very pleased. He joined His thumb and index finger to form a circle, a sign conveying that He was really happy. He lovingly blessed the boy and then asked him to go back to his household work. Baba did not communicate anything to those with Him about the meaning of those lines. However, the simple words of that Urdu couplet have a profound meaning. And many times I am reminded of these lines, especially when sharing Avatar Meher Baba's life with others, either in my personal conversations or while writing Glimpses. The couplet when freely translated into English is: O Beloved Lord, it often surprises me to find how people fail to understand the simple, obvious fact of our relationship. Not knowing this, they praise my love for You. In fact, it is only a faint reflection of Your glowing love — a gift of Your grace, reflected in the mirror of my dusty heart. Thus, if any words in Glimpses touch the hearts of the readers, it is a fraction of Avatar Meher Baba's unconditional Love mirrored in their hearts. May He be praised! For me, sharing Meher Baba's life of self-giving divine Love with others is a source of unfading joy. So there is no intention of drumming Meher Baba's Avatarhood in the ears of people. Periodically, when God as the Ancient One assumes a human form and begins to function as the Avatar of the Age, He, in His conscious omnipresence, silently touches the heart of each soul and is ready to awaken it to His love according to the measure of one's longing.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN So my part in writing Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba is to record and relate the glory of His love, compassion, and suffering for all. I have tried to express this Avataric life in words through some of the incidents in His ministry on earth that I have personally witnessed or have heard from others. This is also one of my ways of drowning my "self" in His presence. To what degree I am successful, don't ask me! Over the last few years, I am not keeping good health, and my memory is not what it once was. I received the best of medical care at Meherazad, but the one thing that kept my spirits up was my remembrance of Baba. Only His grace has pulled me through those critical times. To feel His tender touch of intimate concern in all the daily happenings of life opened up a new and different dimension of the Avatar's presence. However, the work of Glimpses, Volume VI, presented me with a great challenge; it was written during a period of suspense about whether it would be completed. But now that the volume is finished, it is an incredible, sweet surprise, a dream come true. In the interim period, the timely help from my friends — the Baba lovers — in completing the various details concerning the text, disclosed to me clearly Baba's guidance. There were a lot of coincidences which continued to sustain my interest and also convince me that Baba Himself was getting His work done, according to His own sweet will; He has made me the author for the name's sake. Concerning this volume, while attempting to gather together the events of this period of Meher Baba's life, I was doubtful as the whether those captivating "Meher Moments" with their loveliness and splendor would ever return to me, and even if they did, would I be able to recapture them, even faintly, in words. But a miracle happened! Sometimes those moments most unexpectedly did come alive and even stayed with me for a while. And the perfume of Baba's presence that filled my being was as fresh as it was then. But this absorption, in a way, made the writing a little more difficult. The Avataric perfume reminded me of my inability to describe the events though

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PREFACE in Baba's loving remembrance, I decided to "rush in where angels fear to tread." And in this adventure, many loving hands and hearts came forward to assist me. And here is the result of my attempt to share Meher Baba's messages as well as some incidents from His life along with some of His brief conversations with others when I happened to be present. In this volume, I have covered the period of Meher Baba's life from March 1954 to April 1955. During this span of fourteen months, I had the good fortune to be with Baba when He visited Sakori and Pandharpur. I was also present at Meherabad for over two weeks during the Final Declaration Meeting in September and later for a day's meeting in Satara, in April 1955. For the accounts of these visits and meetings, I have followed my brief, sketchy notes as well as my personal observations and contacts with Baba's followers. I have also made use of Kishan Singh's diary after checking the contents with the notes written down by others. The book Three Incredible Weeks with Meher Baba has been of immense help. However, I wish to make clear that Baba's words in this volume are not always verbatim, except for the special messages dictated from the board and approved by Him. Of course, I have tried to be as close in meaning as possible. However, how can I claim that my understanding was entirely correct at all times? I have ventured to present in this volume the events of Baba's life in a plain way, although at times these accounts are interspersed with my personal comments. This is to point out how I feel, nothing more. Others are totally free to arrive at their own honest conclusions. Meher Baba, the Ancient Infinite One, shall ever remain beyond anyone's explanations and experiences. The life of the Avatar is like the sky that we can see and move in but cannot fathom. It has in it a place for everyone and everything, yet this "sky" — the Beyond state — is ever incomprehensible. Avatar Meher Baba, in His all-encompassing compassion, accepts whatever comes to Him from a loving heart. He once conveyed, "Whatever anyone takes Me for, I am that.” On another occasion He stated, “I am God in human

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN form: don't try to understand Me; My depth is unfathomable. Just love Me." There are infinite ways of loving the Avatar, and He helps each one to find one's own path to Him. I feel immensely indebted to Meher Baba for giving me this privilege to share the lila of His Avataric life with the readers. May Beloved Avatar Meher Baba inwardly and outwardly guide me to please Him more and more by depending upon Him — this is the path He has chosen for me. And may I lead a simple, natural honest life of total trust in Him, listening to and sharing the glories and stories of Avatar Meher Baba's love, more and more, until "I am" no more, in His eternal, lively Silence. Bal Natu

February 25, 1992 Meherazad

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CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

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Preface

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1. "March On" with Meher Baba's Life 1954 — Part XIII "Wide Awake in Sound Sleep" Love: A Gift of Total Commitment Returned from Andhra, Left for Sakori Sakori: Maharaj and Gulmai, Jhopri and Pinjra Baba Reminisces in Sakori The Divine Theme Two Sadgurus: Babajan and Maharaj

1 4 9 13 19 30 33

2. Baba Leaves Mahabaleshwar for Satara 1954 — Part XIV I Meet Vaijanath, a Saintlike Personality "I Am the Real One" A Personal Tribute to Adi Kohiyar Brings Fifty-six People to Baba

38 41 47 51

3. Baba's Stay in Satara: June to August 1954 — Part XV New Meher Literature Released Baba's Nagpur Visit and Sulloo Meshram Correspondence Reopens: New Circular Issued Links of Love On Religion and Silence Day Rhoda's "Key Meeting" with the Avatar

59 61 66 71 75 78

GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN 4. Thousands Flock for the Avatar's Darshan in Ahmednagar 1954 — Part XVI Mildred — One of Baba's Family on Meherabad Hill Grand and Glorious Darshan at Wadia Park Intense Darshan Continues up to Six O'Clock Meher Baba's Call Sidelights of the Darshan Day

86 89 94 97 105

5. Baba Gives Sahavas to the Western Group 1954 — Part XVII Western Men's Sahavas Begins Sakori and Sahaj Dhyan "The Last Drink" The Little Darshan Some Memories, Sublime and Sweet

116 123 127 130 136

6. "The Final Declaration" Meeting at Meherabad 1954 — Part XVIII Rains Withheld, Rains Released Preparing to Greet the Radiant One "Yes, I Am the Ancient One" Andhra and Hamirpur Groups Meet Baba September 30: The Morning Session The Afternoon Session: "The Final Declaration" Only Self Effaced Is Self Offered

142 147 149 155 160 164 171

7. Discarding the Board and Visit to Pandharpur 1954 — Part XIX Only Self Effaced Is Self Offered Goodbye to the Board Internal Link with Baba — the Eternally Existent Gadge Maharaj Invites Meher Baba Baba, the Living Vithoba, in Pandharpur

176 180 185 189 194

CONTENTS 8. Clarification and Confirmation 1954 — Part XX; 1955 — Part I Declaration Clarified A Film Project and a Qawwali Program Real Love Implies Obeying the Beloved Declaration Confirmed

202 206 211 217

9. Decision: The Die Is Cast 1955 — Part II Birthday Celebrations and a "Vacation" Descent of Reality into Illusion Baba Calls Homi to Him A Meeting at Rosewood in Satara Omniscience Spiced with Humor "Free from All Promises" Glossary Bibliography

224 228 232 236 244 248 253 256

"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE 1954 ~ PART XIII "Wide Awake in Sound Sleep" It is in God's plan to awaken everyone from the Dream of Creation and make one live in Him and experience His Infinite Bliss. — Meher Baba On one occasion in the 1950s, Avatar Meher Baba, His face lit with a gentle sweetness, was sitting in a chair conversing informally with a small group of followers and other visitors. Through graceful gestures, Baba was asking them about little incidents in their daily lives. The care and interest that Baba took in even seemingly trivial matters was one of the things that endeared Him to His lovers and touched their hearts. Suddenly, in the midst of this small talk, one of the visitors who had recently come to Meher Baba requested Him to enlighten them as to what was the goal of life. Without looking the least surprised by this abrupt change of topic, Baba smiled and cryptically replied, "To be wide awake in sound sleep." With this, He gracefully resumed His family conversation. Baba's succinct and seemingly offhand reply is rich with insight for any earnest, ardent seeker of God, the Truth. At first His comment may seem paradoxical, but when one tries to fathom its depths, a world of meaning unfolds. Meher Baba elaborated on this point more fully in a message entitled "Dreaming and Dreaming": What is called your "awake-state," your daily life with all its associations and experiences, is only you dreaming and in your dream creating all the persons and objects in that dreaming for your experience of them; what is called your dreaming when asleep is but another dream within this dream.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN When you wake from your asleep-dreaming into your awake-dream, you know that the asleep-dreaming was only a dream. When you awake from your awake-dreaming, you will know that you were the sole creator of both the dreams, and all the people, objects, and situations contained in them — that they existed only in you and were for no one but you and were nothing but dream experiences of your dreaming and that you alone have Real Existence. 1 But who is the dreamer? Who has real existence? In truth, it is the Ocean of Consciousness, God. Who, in His divine Whim, got Himself seemingly separated into an infinite number of drop-soul dreamers. Thus God, as the drop-soul, takes on the appearance of an individual identity, an act which seems to limit His awareness of His own Infinite Consciousness. God's game is to awaken each drop-soul from its asleep state of unconscious Divinity to the fully awake state of conscious Divinity, God-realization, at which point the drop-soul realizes that it has never been anything but the Ocean of Consciousness, and that all the travails of the long journey, all the tossings and turnings of the awakening from the deep sound sleep to the wide-awake state, were in fact nothing but a dream. This dream is the Dream of Creation, the playground, as it were, of God's eternal game of awakening Himself to Himself. And within this game of awakening, there is a special recurring period of dispensation, known as the springtide of Creation, when the Avatar, the first soul who consciously experienced Himself as God, assumes a human form on this earth. Each time He comes, the pace of the game picks up, and everything in Creation is nudged in its sleeping, gently, yet in ways uniquely suited to each one. In this age it was in February 1954, first in the Hamirpur district and on through the glorious Andhra darshan tours, that Meher Baba, for the first time in this Advent, began to declare publicly that He is the Avatar of the Age. Once He explained:

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Stay with God, p. 167.

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE The life of everything and everyone is an open book to Me. It is like a film show that I enjoy at My own cost. I am the sole Producer of this ever-changing and never-ending film called the universe, wherein I become you in your awake dream state, in order to awaken you to the Real Awake State ... This needs My Grace. When My Grace descends, it makes you Me. 2 The Avatar is the eternally present One who, even in the sleep of Creation, is latently wide awake. He continues to awaken everyone gradually to the real, innate state of knowing oneself as God. His periodic Advent and His work serve the purpose of helping humanity to cross the bridge — to span the abyss — between Illusion and Reality. The Avatar's divinely human life in Illusion, in spite of its short duration, continues to radiate His lively presence to humanity. On this subject, Avatar Meher Baba once clarified: God's life lived in Illusion, as the Avatar ... is not illusory; whereas God's life lived in Creation as all animate and inanimate beings is both real and illusory ... Illusory life means life in illusion with illusion, surrounded by illusion, and though it is life (as experienced by the soul in Creation) it is illusory life. But God's life lived in illusion is not illusory because in spite of living the illusory life, God remains conscious of His own Reality. 3 Each is destined to find his or her own way to God. In my case, two quotations of Meher Baba often wake me from my slumber and guide me on my journey to Him. The first is: "To resolve all problems, remember Me wholeheartedly, as much as you can, and remain happy." And the second: "To love Me is your business; the rest is My business." In the effort to attend to my business of loving Him by remembering Him, my mind often dwells on the incidents of Meher Baba's divinely human and humanly divine life. And by way of expressing my gratitude to Him I began sharing them through the volumes of Glimpses; this enables me to relive my times with Baba. Whether these introductory remarks have helped to clarify

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Meher Baba, The Everything and the Nothing, pp. 54-55. Life Circulars of Avatar Meher Baba, No. 24, April 10, 1955.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN the significance of the Avatar's Advent on earth or have obscured and mystified it, I do not know But here I am reminded of an episode in which the silver lining of Baba's humor dispelled the cloud of philosophy veiling the Truth. On this particular occasion a distinguished professor, after discussing certain metaphysical subjects with Baba, asked, "What is philosophy?" Baba's eyes sparkled, and His long, slender fingers gracefully moved on His board to convey just one sentence: "Simple things made difficult!" And this immediately brought a smile to the serious face of the professor. So it is high time to stop philosophizing and straightaway begin with the life of Meher Baba, the Awakener, the One who rouses all from their dreaming by awakening love in their hearts. As Francis Brabazon has written: He is the One who in the dress of dream Clothed us to make us naked Truth supreme, The One that all men seek and few men find, For He lives in the realm beyond the mind. 4 Love: A Gift of Total Commitment In the early hours of the morning of March 6, 1954, the Visakhapatnam-Poona passenger train pulled into the Poona railway station, thus bringing Meher Baba's hectic yet glorious darshan tour of Andhra to a close. The shrill whistle of the engine awakened the slumbering passengers, who hurriedly rushed out of their compartments, as Poona was the terminus for that train. Joining the stream of exiting passengers, Baba, His head covered with a scarf, walked in His swift yet graceful manner through the station and out the front entrance. Waiting for Him there was the car of Adi K. Irani, Baba's secretary, which, according to prearrangement, had been brought from Ahmednagar. Adi drove Baba to Bindra House in Poona, where several members of the Jessawala family lived under Baba's instruction. After having a wash and eating a simple breakfast, Baba

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A Singing to Meher Baba the Eternal Beloved, c. 2.

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE left with the men mandali, including Eruch and Kumar, for Mahabaleshwar. Upon reaching Florence Hall, the Aga Khan's bungalow in Mahabaleshwar — His headquarters at the time — Baba discussed plans with Adi for His upcoming visit to Sakori and for the public darshan program to be given in Ahmednagar. Several months prior to the Andhra tour, communications had been exchanged with the Sakori Ashram, and Baba had fixed the date of March 20 for His visit there. Baba now wanted Adi to see whether it would be practical to hold a public darshan program in Ahmednagar on the next day, March 21. For over two decades, Baba's local followers had been requesting Baba to hold such a program for the people of the Ahmednagar district. Even though the Andhra tour had been a strenuous one, Baba did not take time to rest before beginning His next public darshan. If anything, it seemed that Baba wished to intensify His spiritual work. So He told Adi to prepare a circular informing His followers not to write letters to Him for the next three months. Baba explained that He did not want to be disturbed by correspondence so that He would be free to concentrate on His inner work during the upcoming months. After meeting with Baba and taking lunch, Adi left in his car for Ahmednagar, a distance of about a hundred and fifty miles. About this time, the mailman delivered a telegram bringing sad news to Baba. It had been sent by the daughter of Harjiwan Lal, a leading attorney in Delhi and, more importantly, one of Baba's close lovers. His daughter was to be married that very day in Delhi But now the telegram read: "Mother died today (March 6). Marriage also today. Whether marriage should take place." Harjiwan's wife had died in the early hours of the morning, while that same evening his dear daughter's wedding was to be celebrated on a lavish scale. What a situation! No wonder the family looked to Baba for guidance. After the cable was read out, Baba, the All-knowing One, immediately dictated from His board a reply to the sorrowful,

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN confused bride. His reply surprised some of those who were with Baba. It read: "Marriage should take place. My blessings. BABA." This was immediately sent as an express telegram, which reached Delhi in an hour or so. What an unexpected response to an unexpected critical situation in life! In total surrenderance to Baba's will, the family went ahead with the wedding function that very day. One can imagine how people in the general community criticized this family for not postponing the wedding. Some even ridiculed Harjiwan. Only love can bear such things cheerfully. How can one expect others to understand the relationship between a lover and the Divine Beloved? Yet the willingness to pass cheerfully through ordeals such as these is one of the demands the Beloved makes on those whom He specially loves. Real love is no child's play. As Meher Baba stated in one of His messages: Love burns the lover; devotion burns the Beloved. Love seeks happiness for the Beloved; devotion seeks blessings from the Beloved. Harjiwan's love for Baba flowed through his total commitment to the Beloved's pleasure. To win that pleasure, personal tragedy combined with public humiliation was not too great a price for him to pay. Later on, Harjiwan wrote a very heart-rending letter to Baba. In it he expressed his concern that perhaps he had failed in his duty to provide the best medical treatment for his very dear wife, a soul that had lovingly surrendered to Baba. He was often tormented by remorse at the thought that she had died a "premature death" because of his negligence. In the same letter he begged Baba's pardon and asked Him for the strength of heart to arrange programs at various places to spread Beloved Baba's message of Love. He wanted to share with the people that the Avatar, as Meher Baba, was once more amongst them. Baba was deeply touched by Harjiwan's love and obedience to Him and in answer dictated several points to Kishan Singh to be conveyed in a letter. In His consoling reply, Baba, the

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE

Knower of all our lifetimes, with His divine authority assured Harjiwan that there was no such thing as "premature death." No amount of medical assistance or neglect could alter the divinely ordained moment of one's coming to Baba. Harjiwan's wife was destined to come to Baba on that day, so there was no need for Harjiwan to worry. Rather, he should feel happy at her return to Him — the Eternal Life. Baba's explanation comforted Harjiwan's heart and wiped out the thoughts of guilt weighing on his mind. This episode illustrates the intimate, personal attention Baba gives to those who have surrendered themselves to Him. Since the story of the Beloved cannot be separated from the story of the love of His lovers, a few words about Harjiwan's earlier contact and relationship with Baba seem in order here. Harjiwan first met Baba in the 1940s and had the good fortune at that time to be able to feel Meher Baba's divinity and to accept Him as the God-realized Master. His heart ignited by Baba's love, Harjiwan did not miss an opportunity over the years to be in the Master's presence whenever this was permitted. His meetings with Baba kept the flame of love burning bright within him. For this reason he, like many others in Baba's family, was greatly shocked to learn from the circular sent out from Adi's office in October 1949 that: Baba ends His Old Life of cherished hopes and multifarious activities and ... begins His New Life of complete renunciation and absolute helplessness from October 16, 1949 . . . No one should try to see Baba ... No one should try to communicate with Baba . . . for any reason whatsoever. 5 Like most of Baba's followers, Harjiwan was distraught by Baba's most unexpected decision. There was a note of finality to the circular that left Baba's lovers no alternative but to accept His will. They were not even allowed to write a farewell note expressing their loving salutations to Him. Divine Love is a law unto itself, and when it is manifesting through the life of

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New Life Circular, No. 2, January 23, 1950.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN the Avatar, sometimes it is expressed in the most unpredictable and unprecedented ways! The thought that Baba would be setting out on "a life of hopelessness and helplessness," journeying on foot and begging for food, grieved the hearts of His dear ones. The New Life started on October 16, and by the end of 1949 Baba was in Moradabad in Uttar Pradesh. The winter was exceptionally cold that year. When Harjiwan came to know through the New Life circular that Baba was in the north of India, his loving concern for Baba's comfort prompted him to ask Baba through an intermediary to allow him to send some warm clothing, blankets, and sweets for Baba and His companions. Baba lovingly agreed to accept this offering as bhiksha (alms given to wayfarers), which gave timely relief to the New Life companions, who had been suffering acutely from the cold. But at the same time He warned the family not to have any further contact or communication with Him or His New Life companions. Joyfully Harjiwan complied with these instructions, dispatching a large supply of these much-needed provisions through one of his employees. The New Life ended just as it had begun — unexpectedly, although this time the surprise was much to the delight of His lovers everywhere. At the beginning of February 1952, Baba issued the first "Life Circular," which brought the joyous news that Baba would be taking up residence once more at Meherazad and resuming contact with His disciples, devotees, and followers. However, they were still not allowed to see Baba until He returned from His visit to the West, which was to last from April to August 1952. Harjiwan was most eagerly waiting for the first opportunity to be with Baba. In November 1952, Harjiwan's joy knew no bounds when he was permitted to accompany Baba on His first visits to Hamirpur and Andhra. During Baba's second visit to Hamirpur in 1954, Harjiwan became so drenched in Baba's love that he longed intensely to be with Him also during His second tour of Andhra, which was to begin on February 20. But owing to the illness of his wife and the upcoming marriage of his

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE daughter, he did not accompany Baba in His second Andhra Darshan. But then Harjiwan's wife unexpectedly died on March 6, the very day of their daughter's wedding. Harjiwan was plunged into terrible grief. After all, he was a family man and not a saint. The memories of his dear wife who had suddenly passed away stung his heart and cast a shadow over all that used to delight him. Worse still, in addition to this profound grief over losing her, Harjiwan shed tears of repentance for having missed his chance to be with Baba on His glorious second Andhra tour. He even thought that, had he only participated in Beloved Baba's second Andhra Darshan, perhaps his wife would not have died; Baba might have taken care of her health! The life of the lover is woven with moments of confusion and clarity, suffering and joy, and it is often subjected to overwhelming trials. Harjiwan was finally consoled by the letter from Baba, in which it was explained to him that His will is supreme and He knows best. Through Baba's letter Harjiwan came to understand that the purpose of suffering is to initiate a person bound by limitations into the unlimited bliss of God. Are not periods of happiness sometimes followed by seasons of almost unbearable agony? But it is also true that every sorrow carries with it its own special and intimate message from God. While in Andhra, Baba had revealed in one of His messages that the life of the Avatar is like the burning flame (shamma) of a divine candle — His human form. The Avatar's lovers are like moths (paravanas). In their longing to merge in the Avatar's being, they do not care if their wings are burnt while hovering around the flame. Harjiwan's commitment to Baba's wish on March 6 and his consequent agony of heart present a moving example of the Avatar's all-consuming love and the lover's response to it. Returned from Andhra, Left for Sakori It had been my great and blessed good fortune to be allowed to accompany Baba on His marvelous and most moving Andhra

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN tour. Early on the morning of March 6, I alighted from the train at my hometown, Kurduwadi, while Baba and the mandali proceeded to Poona. I resumed my duties at school the same day. I wonder whether the students learned anything from me in those first classes! I was still enthralled by the spell that the Andhra Darshan had cast over me. Although I had returned physically to Kurduwadi, my heart was still soaring in some unearthly realm, beguiled by memories of Baba's elegant movements and lively presence. Inwardly I was still reliving those precious moments spent in His company, while my mind went about its business in a most mechanical fashion. On the next day, Sunday, March 7, I hardly came out of my room but mostly lay in bed, reminiscing over the exhilarating events of the precious two weeks in Andhra. I felt as though I were still accompanying Baba in that land of green paddy fields and tall, swaying palm trees, watching faces dazed with joy and lit with Baba's divine presence. Words fail to express what Baba conveyed to His dear ones through a simple glance or a pat on the shoulder. And the actual verbal messages that Baba gave, spelled out on the alphabet board or through gestures, communicated to people with luminous clarity the fundamental truths of life. The following words may help to capture the essence of the messages which Baba gave in Andhra: God alone is Real. There is nothing but God; everyone is God, everything is God. To awaken this Truth in humanity, Infinite God periodically assumes a human form, known as the Avatar. Wholeheartedly loving the Avatar, God-become-Man, is the most natural way of realizing the goal of life — union with God the eternal. The entire visit to Andhra had been a feast of love spread for many thousands of people, including hundreds of His devoted lovers. Soon after my return home, I received a letter written under Baba's direct instructions by Bhau Kalchuri. Although short, the letter expressed Baba’s love and His sense of humor. Enclosed with it was a copy of His message, “Existence Is

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE Substance; Life Is Shadow." 6 This entire message had been read out in the early hours of the morning of March 2 at the workers' meeting in Rajahmundry, Andhra Pradesh. Baba had now asked me to translate this message from English into Marathi. Not being a learned person, I did not find this job easy. In fact, I had difficulty even in translating the title, to say nothing of elucidating the spiritual subtleties throughout the text. To this day I am not confident about the words I used and the way in which I translated this message. However, I must mention that the part of the message that touched my heart most was its marvelous ending. In it, Baba pointed out that the four different types of yoga — karma, dnyan, raj, and bhakti — serve as signposts on the way leading to God. Then He introduced a fifth type, the yoga of self-surrender (atmasamarpan). At the end of this message Baba stated, "If you seek to live perpetually, then crave for the death of your deceptive self at the hands of complete surrender to Me. This yoga is the essence of all yogas in one." Perhaps this statement about the "fifth yoga" was a personal message which Baba brought home to me through the excuse of entrusting me with this translation work? In the letter, Beloved Baba had asked me to arrange for the printing and distribution of this pamphlet. Although coming up with the money for this project was not easy for me, Baba had also added that I was not to ask Him for monetary help, not even in my wildest dreams! This bit of Baba's humor gladdened my heart, as it seemed to pluck on the happy strings of His intimacy with me. At the end of the letter, Baba had sent me His love, a sign that things would arrange themselves naturally and that all would be well. It was still difficult to apply myself to this task, but as I began, I found that it helped bring me back to earth. It shook me out of my Andhra reveries, helping me to concentrate on my daily duties at school. Meanwhile, the plans for Baba's upcoming darshan programs were proceeding apace. On his return to Ahmednagar from Mahabaleshwar, Adi discussed with Sarosh Irani, one of the mandali and a former mayor of the city, the possibility of arranging a mass darshan in Ahmednagar on March 21,

6

See Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. V, p. 274.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN following Baba's visit to Sakori on March 20. After contacting several prominent local citizens, the two disciples returned to Mahabaleshwar on March 10. There they reported to Baba the various pros and cons of His proposed Ahmednagar darshan. Baba listened to the free and frank discussion that took place between Adi, Sarosh, and the other resident mandali, which focused on the practicality of such a program at this time. Baba often wanted discussions of this kind in the course of arranging for a program. In the end, Baba judiciously decided to postpone this darshan in Ahmednagar until May. At the close of this meeting, Adi read out a draft of the circular which Baba had asked him to compose. This text was approved by Baba and was issued on March 15. It was the shortest of all the "Life Circulars" and, in its entirety, read: Baba desires that, with effect from today up to the end of May 1954, no one should correspond with Him on any subject whatsoever. 7 Adi was instructed to mail this information to Baba centers in India and to all of Baba's intimate devotees and followers. After returning from his latest visit with Baba, Adi set out for Sakori to finalize the details of Baba's brief visit to Upasni Nagar on March 20. These arrangements attended to, he dispatched a telegram of reconfirmation to Baba. Adi also sent me a letter informing me that I would be allowed to accompany Baba on His Sakori visit. He mentioned that he had reserved a seat for me in a van that was to follow His car. Baba's kind concern in permitting me to accompany Him to Sakori had a special significance for me. As a teenager, I had read in a Marathi monthly some very negative articles about Upasni Maharaj. In my ignorance of true spirituality and in my youthful patriotic fervor, I regarded Maharaj as a parasite on society and had passed some sarcastic remarks about him. Even after coming into the orbit of Meher Baba's love, it came as a mild shock to me to learn that Maharaj was one of His Sadgurus. I would never have dreamed that the day would come when I would be eager to visit Sakori. However, in His allforgiving presence, Baba, by allowing me to visit

7

Life Circular, No. 17, March 15, 1954.

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE Maharaj's Ashram, was helping me to wipe out my feelings of guilt connected with the Sadguru, Upasni. So it was in the most delightful of spirits that, on March 19, I left Kurduwadi for Ahmednagar to accompany Baba on His Sakori visit. Sakori: Maharaj and Gulmai, Jhopri and Pinjra Before narrating the events of Meher Baba's visit to Sakori, I feel it appropriate to give some background information about a few important places in Sakori and about a few prominent people accompanying Baba or referred to by Him in His conversation with those who gathered there on that day — March 20, 1954. Sakori itself is a small village near Rahata in the district of Ahmednagar. After wandering for over two years, Upasni Maharaj finally settled there in 1918. This became his headquarters. In later years his disciples constructed many buildings around the original jhopri (hut) where Maharaj stayed. This larger community and complex of buildings came to be known as Upasni Nagar. Later an institution was founded at Sakori named Kanya Kumari Sthan. Kanya means "virgin." Some virgin girls willingly came to stay at Sakori and led their lives under the direction of Maharaj. Chief amongst those was Godavri Mai, who first came for Maharaj's darshan as a young girl of nine years in 1924. On first seeing her, Maharaj called out, "Come on, be quick, I have been waiting for you." As foretold by Maharaj, Godavri Mai later became the head of the Ashram. Most of Maharaj's followers were Hindus, and the talks he gave were in Marathi — the vernacular spoken in Maharashtra. However, there were also a few Zoroastrian (Parsi) families that were drawn to Him, and they wholeheartedly accepted Him as their Master or Sadguru. Gustadji, Mehera, and other close disciples of Baba's had stayed with Upasni at various times in the 1920s. Yet particularly relevant to our present story is Gulmai, the mother of Adi, Meher Baba's secretary. In fact, Gulmai was the only woman to accompany Baba on His present visit to Sakori. It seems likely that Baba

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN had especially asked her to come with Him owing to her longstanding connections with Maharaj and the Sakori Ashram. From the time she was young, Gulmai had been spiritually inclined, and she first visited Upasni Maharaj as early as 1921. It was then that she also saw Merwan (as Baba was called then) for the first time. She was impressed with His genuine devotion to Maharaj and His interest in arranging bhandaras (free meals open to all people in remembrance of God) at Sakori. She felt very familiar with Merwan, but at the time, Gulmai remained onepointed in her devotion to Maharaj. In fact, Gulmai became so devoted to Maharaj that, while meditating before his picture at her home in Ahmednagar, she would often lose herself in a trancelike state. Her husband, Kaikhushroo, swayed by the warnings of elders of the Parsi community, became worried about her love for a Hindu Master. To honor her husband's wishes, Gulmai allowed him to remove Maharaj's picture from her room. It was around this time that her two sons, Rustom and Adi, met Meher Baba at Poona. They were so drawn to Him that they willingly gave up their worldly careers and surrendered their lives to Him. Merwan, now called Meher Baba, began to visit Rustom and Adi in Ahmednagar. Gulmai thus began to come into frequent contact with Baba. Over time, these visits engendered within her a tug of war, for she began to feel unsure as to whether to give her total allegiance to Maharaj or to Meher Baba, or how to balance the devotion she felt for both. In the course of time, Maharaj and Baba inwardly and outwardly helped Gulmai to resolve this conflict in their own unique ways. One day in the '20s, Baba casually revealed to Gulmai and His mandali that she was His "spiritual mother." Naturally Gulmai's spontaneous love for Meher Baba and inner feeling of deep connection with Him were strengthened by this loving remark. At the same time, Baba continued always to show such deep respect and love for Maharaj that Gulmai's conflict was lessened to some extent. It was further reduced by an incident that occurred in the ‘30s when Maharaj, on his own initiative, visited Gulmai’s

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE house, (then called Khushroo Quarters, now known as the Avatar Meher Baba Trust Compound). Maharaj went straight to the room that was always kept entirely at his disposal, sending his secretary off to do some errands in the city. Then he sat for a while on a gunny sack. Later, when Adi and Gulmai entered the room, they were astounded to find Maharaj standing with folded hands before Baba's picture, looking intently into His fascinating eyes. Turning to them, Maharaj said, "I like this photograph. I like Merwan. He is unique. I bow before Him. Please convey my salutations to Him." Maharaj continued, "Give me a tray and a lamp. I want to perform arti to Merwan today." Gulmai fetched the tray, and Maharaj began waving the lighted lamp before Baba's picture, chanting mantras in Sanskrit. Such touches of the Master made it easier for her to love and serve Baba wholeheartedly without feeling that she was in any way betraying her devotion to Maharaj. Perhaps, in fact, it was at this moment that Gulmai truly accepted Meher Baba as the Avatar of the Age. Coincidentally, the date of Maharaj's visit was February 16, which, according to the Zoroastrian calendar, was Baba's forty-third birthday. Thus Gulmai, like several others in Baba's group, was intimately familiar with the Sakori Ashram, its layout, and its prominent persons. Since several of the places and buildings in Sakori, especially the pinjra and jhopri, are charged with an important spiritual history relating not only to Maharaj but to Baba as well, I would like to recount something of their history. Beginning from October 11, 1911, Sai Baba instructed Upasni Maharaj to stay at Shirdi. Under Sai Baba's direct orders, Maharaj spent three years living in the Khandoba temple, about half a mile from where Sai Baba himself resided. In 1914 Maharaj left Shirdi and traveled through parts of northeastern India, staying for some months in Nagpur and Khargpur. In 1918, at the request of some of his devotees, Maharaj decided to settle down in Sakori, a tiny village about four miles from Shirdi. The site he selected for his permanent abode was

15

GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN in a cremation ground outside the village. A jhopri (hut) of mud walls was built for his residence. On October 15, Sai Baba passed away. In his honor a small temple was built in front of the jhopri, and Sai Baba's picture was placed in it for worship. In the latter part of 1920, this temple was blown away by a violent gust of wind and had to be rebuilt. At the same time, it was felt essential to build several rooms and a dharamshala to accommodate the ever-increasing number of devotees visiting Sakori. Maharaj gave his approval to this new construction work, but to avoid the bustle of this building activity, he had a quickly improvised jhopri put up for himself some distance away. The site preferred and chosen by Maharaj was in an old cremation ground thickly overgrown with prickly pear cactuses. Few ventured to go there because of the thorns and snakes. Maharaj neither liked nor allowed anyone to approach him in that new jhopri. He would drive away those who dared to approach him by pelting them with stones. Any time of the day, when he wished to see his devotees, he would go on his own to the original jhopri. The move to the new jhopri and Maharaj's sudden desire for isolation may seem arbitrary or even capricious. But from the events that followed, this seems to have been the divinely ordained time for Maharaj to begin a unique and special work. For it was Maharaj's role to remove completely from Merwan that veil which had been placed upon Him by the five Perfect Masters. Merwan was the human form assumed by Infinite Consciousness, and it was for Maharaj to prepare Him to function as the Avatar. Outwardly the excuse Maharaj gave for the shift to this dwelling place was the din and noise of the construction work near the original jhopri, but inwardly, the real reason was that Maharaj wanted to have complete privacy: for he knew that soon Merwan would be coming for His final unveiling, and it was Maharaj's part to establish Him as the Avatar of the Age. Merwan had been coming periodically to visit Maharaj since 1915, but usually His visits were of short duration. In July 1921, bringing almost nothing with Him, Merwan

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE arrived at Sakori and remained there continuously for about six months. During the daytime He stayed in a makeshift room near the Datta Temple, but He spent nights secluded with Maharaj in the new jhopri. It was here that the most momentous event in spiritual history was taking place — Merwan's final unveiling that consciously established Him in His status as the Ancient One. The ashramites and the disciples and devotees of Maharaj had no idea what was really happening in that secluded jhopri. During Baba's night visits to Maharaj, no one else was permitted inside or around the jhopri. But generally by 2:00 A.M. Baba would take leave of Maharaj and return to His nearby improvised room. He did not sleep there, but He would allow Yeshwant Rao, who was attending Him at the time, to press His feet. During this long Sakori stay, in evident defiance of the laws of nature, Baba had almost completely stopped taking food. Yet He would often ask for paan at any time during the night or day. Each time, Yeshwant Rao would lovingly prepare it for Him. The months of November and December are quite cold in Maharashtra, and Baba had brought with Him only a few cotton clothes. Tending once again to Baba's needs, Yeshwant Rao made Him a coat out of a kind of warm, thick, but coarse blanket known as kamli, which is still preserved in the museum at Meherabad. In all these and other ways, it was Yeshwant Rao's blessed good fortune to serve the Avatar devotedly at the very beginning of this Advent. This loving service Yeshwant Rao performed in obedience to the wish of Maharaj, who told him in the early 1920s, "Merwan is Parabrahma [God the Beyond]; do whatever He tells you to do." One night in December 1921, near the end of Merwan's last and longest stay in Sakori, when He and Maharaj were together in the new jhopri, Maharaj folded his hands to Merwan and said, "Merwan, You are the Avatar; You are Adi-Shakti [Primordial Divine Power]." This spontaneous proclamation of Merwan's spiritual status as Avatar or Ancient One seemed to indicate that Maharaj’s work of removing the veil placed upon the Infinite Consciousness of Merwan was

17

GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN complete. It was after this moment that Merwan began to function consciously as Avatar. And so a few days later, shortly after midDecember 1921, Merwan left Sakori for Poona. About this time, Maharaj declared to his disciples and devotees that the evil spirits which had infested the cremation ground where the new jhopri had been constructed were now liberated. What divine pretense and mischievous humor! Maharaj now allowed all ashramites and pilgrims to visit him freely, much to their delight and joy. However, on December 25, 1921, when they all came for Maharaj's darshan, they were alarmed to find that he had confined himself in a small bamboo pinjra (cage) with no exit. Maharaj had contrived to do this with the help of one obedient disciple who was an excellent carpenter. Asking this disciple secretly to bring the needed materials and tools, Maharaj entered the pinjra unobserved by his devotees and had it nailed closed around him. Still maintained at Sakori in its original place, the pinjra is five feet high, six feet long, and five feet wide. The three sides were enclosed with bamboo bars, while a wall behind it formed the fourth side. The top was also covered. The ashramites and the devotees were greatly upset and deeply grieved to find Maharaj in this condition, as his movements were now totally restricted. He was unable to stand upright. He could not leave the cage even for answering nature's call. Yet this selfimposed confinement was fraught with spiritual significance. A few days later, Maharaj, in a calm and cheerful mood, explained the matter thus: It is the will of Providence that, for your sakes, I have to confine myself in this manner ... I wish to stand surety for all my devotees in the Divine Court. This confinement is to release you from the bonds of Maya — the greatest prison. ... Whosoever will breathe his last while thinking of it [the pinjra] will, without doubt, attain the state of Eternal Bliss. Maharaj continued with this torturous inconvenience of

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE self-confinement for over two years. Finally, on January 31, 1924, he called the same carpenter to open a doorway in the pinjra. From then on he would go in and out of it at his will and pleasure. Maharaj dropped his body on December 24, 1942. This occurred in the premises of the new jhopri, where Maharaj had spent many nights all alone with Merwan to unveil Him as the Avatar. The next day, December 25, Maharaj's body was lowered into a pit a little to the east and adjacent to the pinjra, where, coincidentally, he had confined himself on that very date exactly twenty years earlier. This pit was then covered and a samadhi was built, enclosed on four sides. In accordance with Upasni Maharaj's instructions, Godavri Mai and the kanyas continued to conduct the activities of the Ashram. After about three weeks, on January 13, 1942, Maharaj's full-size statue was installed inside the pinjra. Later, a large Sabha Mandap (a big hall) was built around the pinjra and samadhi. This place became the pivot and center of Ashram life in Upasni Nagar. It was in this Sabha Mandap that Baba, on His visit to Sakori on March 20, 1954, took His seat with Godavri Mai by His side and gave His sahavas to the assembled company. Baba Reminisces in Sakori On the afternoon of March 19, 1954, Baba arrived at Meherazad. Early the next morning, Sarosh drove Baba, along with Kaka, Eruch, Nariman, and Meherjee, from Meherazad to Sakori. Adi drove separately in his Chevy with his mother, Gulmai. Two additional vans took the rest of the mandali and a few others, including myself, who had been allowed to accompany Baba. Saturday, the 19th, had been a full-moon night. As we left Ahmednagar just before dawn, the full moon was slowly sinking, while in the east the sun was rising in splendor. With the cool morning breezes, it was a pleasant journey for us. For the general public too, this was a special day – indeed, a day of fun

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN and festivity. For on the previous night the local populace had lit large bonfires in their villages to celebrate Holi, a Hindu festival that marks the end of winter and the beginning of spring. Our two vans reached Rahata, a small town a mile or so from Sakori, in advance of Baba's car. We got down and joined the crowd from the village that had already gathered to welcome Baba. When He arrived, He graciously accepted the homage with His charming smile. The vehicles then proceeded to Sakori, turning off the main road. When everyone had entered Upasni Nagar, just outside the premises of the Ashram proper, Baba stopped at the newly built house of Yeshwant Rao, that same devoted disciple of Maharaj who had served Him so faithfully three decades before. This "housewarming" celebration began with the garlanding of Baba and the breaking of coconuts. The pieces of coconut meat were then distributed as Baba's prasad, along with pieces of sugar candy: a sweet beginning to a memorable visit at Sakori. The warmth of Baba's compassionate companionship was flowing, radiating from His silent divine presence. Those who accompanied Baba were in the best of moods as they walked with Him. On Baba's arrival at the Ashram (Upasni Kanya Kumari Sthan), Godavri Mai, the mother of the Ashram, together with Jiji, Wagh, and other old disciples of Maharaj, gave Him a very rousing reception. A band played, guns were fired, and Baba was led to a beautifully decorated awning where He was garlanded by Maharaj's disciples. Then all took Baba's darshan, placing their foreheads on His feet. Godavri Mai, although now the head of the entire Ashram, likewise bowed down to Baba without hesitation, the way she used to pay homage to Maharaj. Baba was very pleased. There was a look of appreciation on His face and a twinkle in His eye. Baba then walked freely in and around the jhopri and the different temples, followed by Godavri Mai, the kanyas, and some of the mandali. During this tour a kaleidoscope of expressions flashed in quick succession across Baba's face, perhaps owing to His own intimate familiarity with these places from His early years in Sakori.

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE After taking tea, Baba led the others to Maharaj's samadhi, close to the pinjra, which houses his statue. Taking His seat on the ground, with Godavri Mai and Gulmai sitting on His right, Baba gestured to the kanyas to make themselves comfortable. He had previously dictated a special message to be read out on this occasion, but now, apparently in a reminiscent mood, He wished instead to convey some intimate memories of Sakori to those gathered there, especially the kanyas. There were possibly two hundred people present, some sitting, others standing at the edge of the crowd. Moments spent in Beloved Baba's presence during any darshan or sahavas were so full and so moving that taking notes was a distraction for me. I had learned, however, that on such occasions Baba would sometimes spontaneously convey points of great spiritual profundity that He rarely repeated. So, this time, to keep alive the memories of these timeless moments of love and wonder, I made the effort to take notes. These notes, consisting of words and lines that I jotted down quickly while Baba's board was being read out and His gestures interpreted, are the basis of the account that follows. The task of reconstructing what Baba said during this spontaneous "talk" was made more difficult by the fact that Baba alternated freely between three languages — Marathi, Gujarati, and English. It was not easy for me, working from my hurried scribblings, to follow and recapture exactly what Baba had conveyed. I had to read between the lines and reconstruct the flow of ideas as best I could. The following record of Baba's informal reminiscences are, to the best of my knowledge, close in meaning to what originally transpired, but they definitely should not be taken as a verbatim recounting. After all the people had taken their seats and made themselves comfortable, Baba paused for a few moments longer, casting His loving glance upon the assembly. Then, with a benign smile, He began: Upasni Maharaj is now witness to what I convey to you. Before I come to the special phase of Maharaj's work with the kanyas, I have to go back to the earlier part of My life.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN At the outset, I want you all to know that one of the aspects of God is Infinite Honesty; the least hypocrisy keeps you away from Him. Now, to begin, Babajan kissed Me on My forehead in January 1914, and that very instant I experienced My Infinite, Ancient One State. This experience will ever remain beyond words. However, to give you some idea, first I entered the Infinite Vacuum. Nothing was there: no one, no akash [primordial matter]. The gross, subtle, and mental worlds ceased to exist, even as Illusion. This was followed by the Infinite Bliss of Self-Realization. But soon after, for nine months, I had to go through indescribable spiritual agonies, and "something" urged Me to come down to normal human consciousness. I began to dash My forehead against walls and stones. And, as My forehead used to bleed, I would tie a kerchief around My head. Finally, this urge brought Me to Shirdi. When I prostrated Myself on a dirt road before Sai Baba, he uttered in a loud voice just one word, "Parvardigar" [God Almighty as the Preserver and Sustainer]. This contact with Sai Baba led Me to Khandoba's temple, which was most unclean. Here Maharaj, who was reduced to a skeleton, was sitting, almost naked. Now see the paradox: I saw no one except Myself everywhere. As I approached Maharaj, he flung a stone at Me. It hit Me on the forehead and drew blood. [This blow left a permanent mark on Baba's forehead.] That spot was the same place on My forehead where Babajan had kissed Me. That hit was the first stroke of dnyan that initiated My apparent coming down from the Infinite, Ancient State. After several meetings and contacts with Maharaj, over a period of seven years, I established Myself in the full, normal, human consciousness of man as the God-Man. Then I had both the "infinite Divine" and the "ordinary human" simultaneously harmonized in Me. [This was in 1921.] Baba's eyes flashed as He looked toward where the kanyas

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE were sitting, intently listening to Him. He continued: Now, I want you all to listen very carefully. Maharaj helped Me to establish Myself in My role and status as the Ancient One and entrusted Me with the Avataric work of this age. Then he engaged himself with his own spiritual work, ordained by the Divine Will. However, with this change, he outwardly commenced something new, his work with the kanyas, and this made Durgamai, Maharaj's "spiritual mother," upset and angry. Baba was referring here to a rather stormy phase in the Sakori Ashram in the 1930s that was well known to those living there at the time of Baba's visit in 1954. But since few readers will be familiar with this old conflict, whose scars Baba was now wiping away with the healing balm of His infinite love and understanding, I feel a little supplementary information would be helpful. Durgabai, whom Baba always referred to as Durgamai, was a widow (bai is a term of respect, while mai means mother); she came to stay in Shirdi with her small son, Raghanath, so that she could spend her life in Sai Baba's service. Later, Sai Baba gave her the duty of looking after Upasni when he was living in the Khandoba temple, between 1911 and 1914. At that time, Maharaj was refusing to allow anyone near him, hurling abuse and stones at all who approached. His body was slowly becoming thinner and thinner until he resembled a skeleton. Durgabai would bring Upasni food and, despite his threats and abuses, would insist that he partake of it. It was as though she had become his mother, and Maharaj would submit to her ministrations at a time when he would not accept them from anyone else. When Maharaj settled in Sakori, Durgabai went along also to continue serving him. In this way, from the beginning, Durgabai became the unofficial "manager" of Maharaj's Ashram, and she was entirely devoted to Maharaj. Later, when Merwan visited him there, Durgabai looked after Him as well. Once Maharaj said to her, "Merwan will one day shake the world.” This made Durgabai very happy, and she began to

23

GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN serve and love Merwan all the more. Although Maharaj revealed Merwan's real status to only a few of his followers, like Durgabai and Yeshwant Rao, nonetheless he would occasionally refer to Baba as Maha Deo (the Great Lord), which did not please some of his Hindu disciples. Religious attachments have their own intrinisic value and in some ways are beneficial. When they become rigid and fanatical, however, the prejudices that they create are difficult to overcome. When Maharaj came out of the pinjra on January 31, 1924, he wished to start a new phase of his work. And within a few months, a nine-year-old girl came to visit him. This girl's name was Godavri, and she began visiting Maharaj frequently. He always took a special interest in her. On one occasion he told her, "Keep in mind all that you are seeing here. At present Durgabai looks after the Ashram and the visitors; later you will have to do this." Although Durgabai had by now been with Maharaj for thirteen years and believed in his spiritual perfection, she began to feel jealous. Maharaj then started spending more time with Godavri and the other young virgins who, with the permission of their parents, came to dedicate their lives to God under Maharaj's direction. These youngsters, whom Maharaj referred to as kanyas, became the major focus of Maharaj's new work. He instructed them in the performance of Vedic rituals, taught them sacred Sanskrit mantras, and established the Kanya Kumari Sthan. Godavri was the chief participant in these Vedic rites. Maharaj seemed to be concentrating his work on the feminine aspect of God, at times even dressing as a woman himself. The time and attention that Maharaj was showering on the kanyas aroused a certain amount of jealousy in Durgabai. At the same time, some of the more orthodox among his followers were upset, because they did not consider it proper for women to be performing these sacred Vedic rites. So a faction formed opposing them. This faction took advantage of Durgabai's jealousy and her basically innocent and trusting nature by telling her things which turned her against Godavri. She started to use her position as the Ashram head to make

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE Godavri's life very difficult. This dissension amongst the devotees continued for some years, until Durgabai finally left Sakori for Sholapur in 1933. Her misunderstanding of the relationship between Maharaj and the kanyas was later exploited by some orthodox Hindu scholars who wanted to repudiate Maharaj's spiritual status. For them, Durgabai's dissatisfaction with Upasni Maharaj, despite her long stay with him and the major role she had occupied in the Ashram activities, served as a justification for their accusations, which they disseminated in articles in Marathi journals. Several years later, Durgabai realized her mistake and repented deeply. By this time she had become frail and feeble. Maharaj not only lovingly forgave her, but he also expressed his special concern by seeing to her medical care and arranging for her to receive a monthly allowance until her death on May 6, 1939. A Sadguru's love for his devotees is unconditional, and his ways of wiping out their mental impressions are often very mysterious. Despite the period of several years when she opposed Maharaj, Durgabai remained one of his close disciples. In fact, Meher Baba once confirmed to His early disciples that she was indeed Maharaj's "spiritual mother." So by referring to Durgabai's jealousy in His 1954 Sakori visit, Baba was recalling a major controversy that occurred in the later years of Maharaj's ministry. All this was a part of Maharaj's spiritual work of wiping away the impressions of his followers to get them closer to God. Now to resume, Baba reminisced about the early controversy in the Ashram: Maharaj did all this on purpose. He was playing the "dual role." It was also at this time that he began to tell people about Me, saying, "I have given nothing to Merwan." And he was right. In fact, what was there for him to give Me? He only made Me know My Ancient One status as the Avatar. When some of My disciples visited him, he would say things against Me. In all such conversation

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Maharaj played his role to perfection. He was "perfection Personified." Some years later [in the early 1930s], when I was at Meherabad, Raghunath, the son of Durgamai, came to Me. He sought Me alone as he wished to tell Me something very personal. He began, "My mother has especially sent me to see You. It is about Maharaj's present way of life and activities." Raghunath added, "My mother feels that now Maharaj seems to be overpowered with lust. It is as if he is won over by the young girls whom he calls kanyas. She requests you to visit Maharaj at Sakori." At the close of Raghunath's conversation I clearly conveyed to him, "You and your dear mother are completely wrong. You cannot understand or even begin to fathom the infinite profundity of Maharaj's divine state and his spiritual work. There is no need for Me to visit Sakori. Tell Durgamai that she should neither lose her head over the activities of Maharaj nor lose her trust in him, irrespective of his outward behavior!" By way of concluding His remarks on this particular topic, Baba conveyed the following striking and significant point: Be assured that I knew everything about Maharaj's external life until he dropped his body. I knew because I was in him, as he was in Me. What I had to do with the women [the feminine aspect of God] Maharaj did for Me; and what he had to do with the West, I did for him. All heard Baba in rapt silence and wonder as He disclosed these secrets about the unseen workings of the two Masters for the first time to those in Sakori. Whether Baba had ever previously revealed these facts to some of His intimate mandali, I do not know. For me personally, the significance of Baba's concluding statement is far beyond me, and I have never even attempted to gauge or fathom its meaning. Nonetheless, I have recorded it here, after verifying it with a friend and Baba lover who was also in attendance at the Sakori meeting.

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE Maharaj's "dual role" in his relationship with the Avatar, as mentioned by Baba, continued for many years. During this period Gulmai acted as a link between these two Masters. Having concluded these reminiscences about the earlier history of the Sakori Ashram, Baba now turned to His last meeting with Maharaj shortly before Maharaj's death. He continued: In 1941, Maharaj sent Me a message through Gulmai, saying, "Soon I will drop my body. So tell Merwan to come and see me." I replied, "I will not set foot in Sakori." So the meeting was arranged on a farm not far from Sakori, in a one-room thatched hut. [This meeting took place on October 17, 1941.] I took Gulmai with Me on this trip to Dahegaon. When I saw Maharaj entering the room, I placed My forehead on his feet. There was no one else in the hut at the time. He raised Me up and embraced Me with love. He said, "Merwan, You are Adi-Shakti [Primordial Divine Power]," and began to weep. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. Then we both sat in the hut. Maharaj looked at Me and said, "Break your silence." Through gestures I conveyed, "The time has not yet come." In all, three times he asked Me to break My Silence, though he knew that I would not break it. In the end he said, "Keep an eye on Sakori." Then he made Me promise one thing about his beloved Godavri. Today, in fulfillment of My promise to Maharaj, you find Me here. Two or three months after My meeting with Maharaj, he dropped his body [on December 24], and Godavri was given charge of the kanyas. At this juncture once again Baba changed the topic. It was often Baba's way, after serious discussion, to lighten the atmosphere in His own inimitable way. On this occasion He did so by turning to His first meeting with Mahatma Gandhi on the steamboat Rajputana in September 1931. Baba conveyed:

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN When I was on the steamer sailing from Karachi to the West, Gandhi was one of the passengers. On his own he came to see Me three times in My cabin. He talked on lots of subjects, including spirituality. I explained many things to him, using the board, which Chanji read out for Me. During one of these "talks" he mentioned, "I had been to Upasni Maharaj, but neither he nor his ways impressed me." Gandhi was honestly expressing his opinion. However, I conveyed to him, "What has impressed you in Me is due to him." Later during our talks, Gandhi said, "Baba, now the oppression is too much; break Your silence and give the real message of love to the world." On hearing this I gestured, "Soon!" And now, twenty-two years have gone by! That's My way. But now, "soon," I have to break My silence! Whatever I have told you today about Maharaj is witnessed by the five Perfect Masters — Sai Baba, Upasni Maharaj, Babajan, Tajuddin Baba, and Narayan Maharaj. What I am, what I was, and what I will be as the Ancient One is always due to the five Perfect Masters of that Age. I am the Ancient One. Be honest in whatever you do. Be honest in your love for Me. Honesty will make you and will help you love God, so that you lose yourself in Him to find Me as your Self. After a short pause Baba looked at Godavri Mai, and especially to where the kanyas were sitting, and His fingers began to move again on the board. He continued: Although God is beyond all ceremonies and rituals, I want you to understand that whatever Maharaj has instructed you to do, do faithfully and one hundred percent honestly, not because of the ceremonies themselves but because Maharaj, your Sadguru, has entrusted this work to you. He has ordered you to conduct your worship in this way. Obey him. However, for heaven's sake, do not perform these

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE ceremonies mechanically with a dry mind, or else they will bind you instead of freeing you. Let all that you do be done with your whole heart in it; then, with Maharaj's grace, one day you will know that everything except God is Illusion. God is the only Reality. And, unless and until you experience this, all else is just bunkum. Of what use is it if millions of people were to place their heads on your feet, garland you, call you a Sadguru, if you do not have that Experience (of the "I am God" state). On the other hand, even if the whole world goes against you but you have that Experience, then you do not mind, you remain unaffected by it, because it is you who do it. I am happy to be at Sakori today. Baba then put aside His board, a signal that whatever He had to say at that session was now said. From Baba's reference to rituals, I have gathered that, if instead of getting attached to the external part of the ritual, one gets wholeheartedly bound to the presence of God in one's everyday living, that will open a way to real freedom. A ritual or ceremony is only a pointer, a sign, but not an end in itself. It can be dry or dull, on the one hand, or lively and fresh, on the other, depending on the spirit in which it is performed. The goal is to be more and more receptive to God's presence within oneself, whatever one may be doing externally. That morning Avatar Meher Baba had skillfully explained the significance of Maharaj's "dual role." Baba's clear and straightforward exposition, expressed very lovingly, dispelled the clouds from the hearts of those followers of Maharaj who had misgivings about Him. This meeting left all those who had participated with a new feeling of love and harmony. In fact, as a sequel to this, a few months later Godavri Mai visited Ahmednagar with some of the kanyas to participate in the public darshan that Baba gave there on September 12. And a week or so after that, Baba again visited Sakori with some of His dear ones from the West. A new understanding dawned between the followers of Maharaj and Meher Baba! At the close of His discourse there was a resplendent smile

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN on Baba's face, and His beauty was especially radiant and charming. He looked really pleased, and I felt that this morning session was indeed eventful. The Divine Theme Since it was now lunchtime, all rose and left the Sabha Mandap. Those who had accompanied Baba in His party from Ahmednagar went to the dining hall. We sat on the ground, which had been made smooth in the traditional Indian style by applying a "plaster" of cow dung. A simple, delicious lunch was served to the visitors on plates made of leaves. Meanwhile, Baba was moving about the ashram with Godavri Mai At length He honored the loving request of the ashramites by tasting some dishes prepared for Him. By 12:30 P.M. Baba was back in the large Sabha Mandap. For Baba's use a mattress with a clean bed sheet and several pillows had been placed near a wooden post where Maharaj used to sit while giving darshan. To express His respect for Maharaj, Baba sat beside the mattress, on the ground. In a short time the visitors and the ashramites gathered there. Baba asked Rustom Kaka (Hathidaru), one of His lovers from Ahmednagar, to sing some bhajans and abhangas. Again, the atmosphere was surcharged with love for God. During interludes in the informal singing, Baba casually explained the nature of Reality in relation to Illusion, using His lively gestures and spelling out words on the alphabet board. The simplicity of His explanations made a deep impression on the minds and hearts of the listeners. The gist of what I could gather from some of Baba's words is as follows: In the Beyond State of God, the Original Whim made Me sing, "Who am I?" and all Creation sprang up. And now I have to bear the burden of the entire Creation! One who experiences Union with Reality or God and also comes down to normal human consciousness simultaneously experiences Himself on all planes of consciousness.

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE At present you see Me sitting before you, but I am simultaneously with all, on the different levels and planes of consciousness. Those who are on the higher planes see Me on their levels. However, all that you see, hear, touch, taste, and smell is illusion within illusion. And this illusion has such a hold on you all that it is extremely hard for anyone to escape it. In fact, each one of you has Infinite Sat-Chit-Anand [Power, Knowledge, and Bliss] within you, but everyone feels helpless and dissatisfied. How to wipe out this ignorance? Try to follow this figure: suppose I appear to you in your dream and say to you, "My dear, all that you are seeing and hearing is just a dream." But in your dream state you will not believe what I say. Even now, while sitting before Me, you are still dreaming a dream. In this awake-dream state whatever you do, including tap-jap [an austerity or the repetition of any divine name] will bind you. Then how do you get out of this Illusion? There is a remedy: it is to surrender yourself to Me, the Reality. The antidote is: whatever you think or do, feel that you are not the doer — it is Baba as the in-dweller who is getting it done through you. While feeling this, you have to be natural, very natural. Don't pose. No one should pretend to be what he is not. When I tell you to be natural and honest, I have to be honest too. So, with infinite honesty, I tell you, "I am God in human form." The spiritual journey to God ends in the final Fana — a state of total annihilation [Manonash]. Then follows Baqabillah — the experience of the "I am God" state of Perfect Ones. At the present moment you are convinced that you are a human being, so you never think that you are an animal. In the same way, when one is merged in and united with God, the lower self is totally annihilated. In this state, one becomes God. It is natural for such a one to say, "I am God." This "I" is not of the lower self but is the higher Self. At present, one of my mandali sees hundreds of suns and moons. He sees them in Me. However, thousands of such

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN experiences are far from the final experience of Union with God in which one experiences Reality as Reality. Truth is simple, infinitely simple, but this makes it infinitely difficult. You, as the lower self, are the curtain over your real Self. So what is the way out of this labyrinth, this quagmire? The most simple yet natural way is to try your best to surrender to Me and to love Me. I am the only Reality. Baba explained these profound points with an easy fluency through His graceful gestures. I was amazed to find how, in such a short time, He could explain the entire divine theme: the beginning and end of Creation in relation to Reality, God, Who is the Alpha and Omega of the spiritual journey. While I have tried to reconstruct some of the substance of what Baba said, it is impossible to capture in words the nobility of the expressions on Baba's face. Infused in His every movement was a glow of divine charisma. To witness this was for me an unspeakable blessing; this was indeed a most precious and sacred time. The day's program concluded with Baba distributing prasad. It was a charming sight to see Baba handing out fruit or sweets to those approaching Him. The prasad given was a visible gift of divine grace, drenched in His invisible love. For each one it had a special spiritual significance. Now and then, as one of the oldtimers would approach Baba, there would be a quick interchange of glances between them. Through such brief exchanges Baba would convey to them how dear they were to Him and how intimately He knew their lives. While Baba was giving prasad, Godavri Mai was sitting by His side. The last orange was given as prasad to her. As she bent down to pay her respects to Baba, He placed His hand on her head, blessing her. Then Baba stood up to leave, and His glance of benediction flowed over the whole gathering. Baba departed from Sakori at about 4:30 P.M. On the way back, Baba's car stopped on the shoulder of the road. He got out and stood under a tree. Naturally, all of us gathered near Him. Baba began to convey:

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE Today I am really pleased. Godavri is a pure-hearted woman, very lovable. When you were having lunch she took Me inside and requested Me to sit on the jhoola [the swing] used by Maharaj. She called the other kanyas and asked them to sing some devotional songs. I said to her, "Play your part as Maharaj has instructed you, without any doubts." Then taking her aside I asked her, "Will you do one thing if I ask you to?" She frankly and honestly replied, "If I can do so in this Ashram atmosphere." I then asked her to do something that was quite simple but not very easy. She agreed. Baba did not disclose the nature of that instruction, but was evidently pleased with her obedience. He continued: You do not know what great sacrifice and suffering Godavri had to undergo throughout the years she stayed with Maharaj. She is really an exceptional person. There was a look of satisfaction on Baba's face. His car then proceeded toward Ahmednagar. Two Sadgurus: Babajan and Maharaj Just before His hectic darshan programs in Andhra, Baba had dictated a special message which He intended to convey during His forthcoming visit to Sakori. However, after reaching Sakori on March 20, He chose instead to enlighten those gathered at the Upasni Nagar Ashram on the important subject of His life and relationship with Maharaj. The text of the prepared message, which Baba did not choose to give out at the Sakori darshan, is reproduced below: In the Beyond-State of God, sex does not exist. There, only the One, Indivisible Existence prevails. It is in the realm of the illusory phenomenon called the universe that sex asserts itself.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Babajan, the Perfect Master, who in less than an instant made Me experience My Ancient Infinite State, had the Muslim-form of a woman. Upasni Maharaj, who brought me down to normal consciousness, had the Hindu-form of a man. As a young and beautiful girl, Babajan, who was of a noble and rich family, renounced the world just before she was going to be married, because of her great love for God and the urge to be One with God. Every one of you, whether man or woman, of any caste, creed or color, has an equal right to attain Divinity. It has been possible for man to become God through love of God. External renunciation is not at all necessary. Each and all, man or woman, whilst attending to all duties in every walk of life, can attain Divine Fatherhood and Universal Motherhood through honest love for God. To express your love for God, you must live a life of love, honesty, and self-sacrifice. Merely to chant arti, to perform puja, to offer flowers, fruits and sweets, and to bow down can never mean that you love God as He ought to be loved. Similarly, merely giving darshan to the masses, having crowds flocking around, delivering messages to the multitudes, and performing so-called miracles may be conventionally accepted attributes of a divine personage in your midst, but I say with Divine Honesty that all this is not necessarily a sign of true Divinity. God is not to be lured, but is to be loved. God is not to be preached, but is to be lived. Only those who live the life of love, honesty and self-sacrifice can know Me as the Ancient One. I can say with Divine Authority that I experience eternally, consciously, and continually being One with you all and One in you all. Any worship or obeisance to any deity (animate or inanimate), to any saint, master, advanced soul, or yogi, eventually comes to Me. By offering pure unadulterated love to anyone and to everything you will be loving Me, as I am in everyone and in everything, and also beyond everything.

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE I want you all to know that whatever you do, good or bad, the one thing not forgiven by God is to pose as that which you really are not. With divine authority I repeat that we are all One. Being rich or poor, literate or illiterate, of high caste or low caste, need not interfere with your loving God, the supreme Beloved. I give you all My blessings for the understanding that loving God, in any form, in any way, will make you eternally free. 8 Although Baba only refers to Babajan and Maharaj in the preceding message, Baba visited all five Perfect Masters, and Sai Baba, Upasni Maharaj's Sadguru, was actually the head of the spiritual hierarchy, or Qutub-e-Irshad. As Baba's message makes clear, however, His connections were primarily with Babajan and Maharaj. As Merwan, Meher Baba visited them both many times between 1913 and 1921. To give some idea of the nature of His relationship with them and the different role played by each, Baba once gave this analogy to His early disciples: "Babajan," He said, "gave Me a rupee, and Maharaj made Me know the value of it!" The visible methods used by Babajan and Maharaj in their relationship with Merwan belied the inner import and impact of what they were really doing. While outwardly their activities may have seemed irrational, in truth they were performing the extraordinary task of unveiling Merwan to His status as the Ancient One and bringing Him down from that exalted experience of Oneness with God to the total awareness of creation. The "kiss" from Babajan was, to my way of thinking, actually a "kick" that caused Merwan to be reabsorbed in His Ancient One State. A small sharp stone, flung by Maharaj and drawing blood where it hit Merwan on the forehead, was like a divine kiss that spurred Him on to descend to the total awareness of creation to play His eternal role as the Avatar. It is also intriguing to note that Babajan, although clad in a female form, was often surrounded by male beggars, ruffians, or ordinary people. Babajan always asserted herself to be a man

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The Awakener, Vol. I, No. 4 (Spring 1954), pp. 23-24.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN and became upset if anyone addressed her as amma (mother). On the other hand, Maharaj, who had a male form, worked closely with a group of pure-hearted, devout virgins (the kanyas), at times going to the length of wearing bangles and dressing in a sari like a woman. In whatever manner a Perfect Master manifests outwardly, he or she is always inwardly beyond the distinction of sex. I feel truly blessed to have been permitted by Baba to accompany Him on His March 20 visit to Sakori. Witnessing with my own eyes the place where Maharaj spent so much of his life and hearing Baba's loving words about His own Master made a deep impression on my mind and touched my heart. For the ultimate good (mukti) of his disciples, Maharaj had taken on much suffering and allowed himself to be ridiculed by society. This quality of his unconditional love heightened and brightened my regard for this great Sadguru; and my visit to his Ashram wiped out any lingering misconceptions of mine about him. After the brief stop along the roadside between Sakori and Ahmednagar, our small caravan of cars pressed on for Ahmednagar, which we reached on the evening of March 20. From there Baba continued His journey to Poona, where He stayed for a day at Bindra House, the Jessawala's home. The next day, March 21, was the Parsi New Year, known as Jamshed-e-Navroz. For the Jessawalas, overjoyed at Baba's presence at their home, this was a doubly blessed and especially festive occasion. Baba was in a good mood too. He listened for a brief time to a qawwali program that had been arranged there. The next day, with His intimate mandali, Baba left for His temporary headquarters at Mahabaleshwar. I reached Kurduwadi in time to continue my duties at school. But what a contrast: the heart felt as though it were still moving with Baba. The balancing of mind and heart was not easy; but this was not unusual with Baba's lovers after returning from His sahavas. Baba's divinely magnetic personality and the regality of His movements continued to zoom up before my mind's eye. The love felt in Baba's physical presence was so intense that the fond memories of His Sakori

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"MARCH ON" WITH MEHER BABA'S LIFE visit lingered with me for some days. If one is blessed with the privilege of entering the lane leading to the Avatar, one should regard this as a stroke of priceless good fortune. Sooner or later, one's journey in this lane begets an inner divine intoxication. From this intoxication comes a madness which grows and grows as the remembrance of the Avatar becomes more and more wholehearted. There is no going back. This blessed lane, once it has been entered, has no exit. Love awakened by Baba never dies.

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA 1954 ~ PART XIV I Meet Vaijanath, a Saintlike Personality In April 1954, not long after His return from the Sakori darshan, Baba set out from this pleasant hill station, with a few of His mandali, on a short but grueling journey to Dhalwar, in the southern state of Karnataka, and Kholapur, in Maharashtra. On this whirlwind tour, Baba contacted eleven masts (souls intoxicated by love for God) whose names, as it happened, were not recorded. Adi K. Irani mentioned that when he saw Baba on His return from the tour, He looked exhausted, yet there was a glow of satisfaction on His face — the mast work had gone well. This was the first mast tour of the year. Tours such as this one had been common a decade earlier, when Baba had traveled extensively — often in intense heat or biting cold — in search of masts. Baba would journey for days together in crowded trains and buses, in bullock carts and cars, often to remote places to find these God-intoxicated souls. By the '50s, however, that phase of Baba's work with the masts had been largely completed, and mast tours were less frequent. Yet for those who accompanied Baba, these encounters were unforgettable. The divine intoxication of the masts is so powerful that they are utterly indifferent to the standards of conventional living. Ingesting stale and moldy food and drinking dirty water do not affect their health; absorbed in their love for God, they are often found in the most unhygienic places avoided by normal people. Prior to hearing of Baba, I had never run across any accounts of these unique souls. But in 1948 I read The Wayfarers by William Donkin. Based on explanations given by Baba Himself, this book offers a wealth of information and

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA anecdotes about the different kinds of masts and the inner planes of consciousness on which they are stationed. It aroused my curiosity about this God-intoxicated "tribe" living in India, and I was anxious to meet them. At the time, however, I could not understand why Baba discouraged His lovers from meeting masts and saints. How could being in the company of such advanced souls impede one's spiritual progress? Later it gradually dawned on me that, unless one's energy is wholeheartedly channeled in one direction, the longing to realize Truth cannot have the required depth and intensity. Jesus said, "Leave all and follow Me. I am the Way." In a similar spirit, Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita enjoins His followers, "Leave all other paths and totally surrender yourself to Me. I will free you from the bonds of Illusion." I had never dreamed that one day I would have the blessed fortune to hear from Meher Baba, the Avatar of the Age, a similar declaration. Yet this is exactly what happened. In clear words Baba conveyed to me the truth of His being the Avatar, without in any way imposing it on me. But before I narrate more about this, I wish to describe the chain of incidents that led in a natural way to my meeting with Baba in Mahabaleshwar. On my return from the March 20 Sakori meeting, the uplifted feeling of being with Baba made me more receptive to His inner guidance. This strengthening of my inner contact helped me to complete, as per Baba's instructions, the Marathi translation of Baba's message, "Existence Is Substance and Life Is Shadow," not an easy job. Starting the last week of April 1954, school closed for the six-week summer vacation. I had no interest in sightseeing or in visiting friends or relatives. A taste of the rare joy experienced in Baba's company had ruled out other interests from my life. Since it was not possible to see Baba during this period or even to send Him a letter, I opted for the next best thing: to spend my vacation in Baba's office in Ahmednagar where Adi resided. After communicating my wish to Adi and being welcomed with his warm invitation, I left Kurduwadi on May 3, to stay with him at Khushroo Quarters (the present office of the

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Avatar Meher Baba Trust). The next day Adi asked if I would pay a visit to the town of Sangamner for the opening of a new Meher Center. Vaman Sabnis, one of Baba's close followers, wished to hold weekly meetings on Thursdays to share Baba's life and activities with the people there. I happily agreed, and a day later I set out for Sangamner, about sixty miles from Ahmednagar, where I attended a small but pleasant get-together of people interested in spirituality. After listening to my talk, one of Vaman's friends by the name of Gade invited me to visit his guru, Vaijanath Maharaj. Remembering Baba's general instructions not to visit masts, saints, or masters, I clearly but politely declined. When Gade repeated his request, I offered the excuse that I had to return to Ahmednagar the next day on the noon bus. To my surprise, the next morning Gade came in his own car and said, "Let's go to meet my guru, Vaijanath Maharaj. You won't miss the bus." On such short notice, I could think of no polite excuse and so agreed to go. Gade drove me to a small temple a few miles away from the town, where his guru was staying. I offered my respects to Vaijanath Maharaj, who seemed to be a simple, unassuming person. He did not say anything to me; in fact, as far as I can remember, he was observing silence that day. His followers took me around the premises and told me that they regarded Vaijanath as an avatar of Dattatreya. One of them continued, "Many a time our guru goes into a trance, and we often notice tears rolling down his cheeks. When he comes out of that state, he writes very inspiring and spiritually profound verses. His notebooks are carefully preserved in the cupboards." They asked me if I was interested in reading them, and although I found these followers to be very warm and loving, I replied, "Not today." Throughout the visit the thought continued to lurk in my mind that, even though I had not visited the place on my own initiative — it had just happened — it would nonetheless be best if I left as soon as possible. It was not my business to find out whether Vaijanath was genuine or fake. On one occasion Baba conveyed to a person of wavering mind, "Once you open your wings to fly, you must fly straight like a swan. Don't flit from

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA tree to tree like a sparrow, else many things will distract you on the way." After coming into contact with Baba, my path was simple and straightforward: just to offer myself wholeheartedly and completely to Him. So I thanked my hosts for their courtesy and returned to Sangamner to catch the bus to Ahmednagar. I arrived there in the evening of the same day, May 8. I had no idea that this casual visit to Sangamner would soon bring me to one of my most unforgettable meetings with Baba. "I Am the Real One" I told Adi about my visit and the opening of the Meher Center at Sangamner. He was happy to hear about the cordial response of the people there. But then Adi conveyed some news of his own, which came to me as the most wonderful of surprises. "Tomorrow morning," he said, "I am driving alone in my Chevy to Mahabaleshwar to see Baba. Would you like to accompany me?" I had never expected or even dreamed that such a golden opportunity would come my way, and so soon after my last meeting with Baba! I quickly replied, "I would be a great fool to miss such a marvelous chance!" "Then get ready," Adi said, "we'll be leaving in the early hours of the morning." I could hardly believe my ears. Although at the time I could not imagine how this invitation to visit with Baba had come about, I now suspect that it may have happened like this. Whenever Baba issued a circular stopping direct correspondence with Him, Adi used to send on the main points of important letters received through his office for Baba's instructions. I guess he had already informed Baba about my staying with him. Possibly it was even Baba who had suggested that I visit places in the Ahmednagar district, including Sangamner, for His work. This is just a guess, however, and I never asked Adi about it. In any event, the next morning at about five o'clock I found myself in a car with Adi leaving Ahmednagar. It was a very pleasant drive to Mahabaleshwar, a renowned hill station about 4,500 feet

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN above sea level on the crest of the Western Ghats. As the car drove up along the serpentine road, I was enjoying the cool breezes, while Adi's talk about his life with Baba warmed my heart. We reached Florence Hall before lunch. Returning to this beautiful estate in the hills of Mahabaleshwar revived memories of my earlier visit to this place, on October 16, 1950, when Baba was still in the New Life. 1 Now, four years later, it gave me great joy to be able to meet and greet the mandali here once again. Dr. Deshmukh, whom Baba would sometimes permit to stay with Him during his college vacation, was also there. It was Baba's usual practice each morning to leave the main bungalow where He stayed and to visit with the men mandali in their quarters. What an inexpressible joy it was to see Baba again! Although being in Baba's presence was an experience like no other, each time was different. Like a garden that is never exactly the same however often one visits it, the charm of Baba's presence had so many subtleties that one never came to the end of them. After Baba had greeted us, He took His seat, and discussion of the day's business began. In the course of my first morning session with Him, Baba asked me to report to Him about my visit to Sangamner. He listened with great interest to my account. In the end He gestured, "Anything left out?" I replied, "Nothing worthwhile." The next morning, after listening to some correspondence, once again He turned to me and gestured, "Do you remember any other detail about your visit to Sangamner?" I replied, "Yes, Baba." Finding Baba surprisingly interested in this insignificant visit of mine, I began telling him the names of Vaman's friends, including Gade, who had been in attendance at the meeting. I went on to describe my visit to the Pravara River, the water of which had impressed me with its remarkably sweet taste. 2 To entertain Baba, I even described the austere house of Vaman, my host, which consisted of one long room serving as living room, bedroom, and kitchen all in one. To tell the truth, I was purposely avoiding any reference to my visit to Vaijanath. While I spoke, a smile lit Baba's face, but He didn't press me to say anything more.

1

For an account of this momentous meeting, see Bal Natu, Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. II, pp. 275-93. 2 In fact, at that particular place the river is known as Amrita, meaning "nectar."

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA But the next morning, to my surprise, Baba again raised the subject of my Sangamner excursion. "What else do you remember?" He gestured. Having exhausted all other details, I was compelled to "let the cat out of the bag." I began, "Baba, without my wanting to, I was compelled to visit a saintlike person who is regarded by his followers as the avatar of Dattatreya." Baba showed interest and, in His all-knowing ignorance, seemed to be waiting for more information. He gestured, "How did it happen?" I told Baba the whole story, which I presented partly in the spirit of a confession and partly as a self-justification. During the narrative I would glance at Baba's face, but I didn't find any displeasure or condemnation there. After hearing out the entire incident, Baba asked me if I had told Vaijanath that Meher Baba is the Avatar. I answered, "No." Some of the mandali were also present in the room. Pointing to Adi, Baba asked, "Don't you think that Bal should have told Vaijanath about My being the Avatar? Don't you take Me to be the Avatar?" Adi, in his characteristically forceful manner, replied, "Baba! You are the Avatar-supreme Perfection Personified." Baba cast a glance at me, and I understood what He meant. I kept quiet. Then He turned to Dr. Deshmukh and gestured, "What do you think?" Deshmukh paused for a few moments, reflecting on the question. I thought he was going to say something in my favor. He began, "Baba, in a way, You are not just the Avatar; You are beyond any concept that is conveyed by the term Avatar. You are the Beyond One." Baba looked at me again. I felt nonplussed and even a little nervous. His eyes lit with a gentle glow of compassion mingled with flashes of divine authority, Baba continued the dialogue, sometimes gesturing, sometimes using the board: "If you on your own could not dare tell Vaijanath that Meher Baba is the Avatar, you could easily have said to him, 'Meher Baba says He is the Avatar."' This really silenced me, and I gazed at Baba in dumb adoration and submission. Returning my gaze, Baba explained, "At present, in the East and West, there are about seventy people who claim to be the Avatar, but I tell you, Bal, I am the Real One."

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN The power and compassion in Baba's glance as He communicated this loving declaration to me carried with it conviction of the truth of what Baba was saying. Hearing these words, I could only fold my hands and lower my head to offer my respects to the Ancient One and mutter in a soft voice, "Yes, Baba!" After a brief pause Baba resumed, "There are two types of socalled saintly persons: the hypocrites and the innocents. A hypocrite knows that he is posing, whereas the innocent one honestly feels that he is someone special, spiritually." Baba did not throw any more light on this subject at this time. However, He looked at me again and continued, "You have told Me all about your meeting with Vaijanath, and you have heard Me declare, 'I am the true Avatar.' Now I want you to visit Sangamner once more, see Vaijanath, and tell him,'Meher Baba is the Avatar of the Age.’” With this order, Baba had unexpectedly arranged for an unexpected sequel to my earlier visit to Sangamner. Looking at Baba with a deep reverence imbued with wonder, I replied in a shaken tone, "Yes, Baba!" I stayed in Mahabaleshwar for five days. Each morning, on Baba's arrival, different subjects connected with His work were taken up. Through these discussions I learned that Baba had finally agreed to give darshan to the people in the Ahmednagar district on September 12. The venue for this darshan was to be Wadia Park on Station Road in Ahmednagar. Sarosh Irani, one of Baba's close disciples, was in charge of arranging this program. In preparation for this event, Dr. Deshmukh was instructed by Baba to visit various towns in the Ahmednagar district, to give talks about "Meher Baba and His Divine Call." Further, Dr. Deshmukh was to inform the public about Baba's upcoming darshan in September. I was allowed to accompany him at these talks. On May 14, Baba and seven of the mandali in two cars and Dr. Deshmukh, Adi, and I in Adi's Chevy all set out from Mahabaleshwar for Bhilar, a village in a forest near Panchgani. A large old stone house, surrounded by many trees and set off in a secluded part of the village, was selected by Baba for His special work. As Baba moved with the mandali

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA through the spacious, half-dark, bare rooms of the house, He remarked, with a twinkle in His eye, "I intend to work here for seven days in the company of seven ghosts." This was Baba's joking way of referring to the mandali who would be staying with Him there. After the luggage was unloaded, Adi and Dr. Deshmukh and I drove back to Ahmednagar. On reaching the city, Adi apprised Sarosh of his conversations with Baba about the darshan program. Sarosh diligently took up the work of fixing the dates of Dr. Deshmukh's talks in different towns. Owing to his eminent social standing, Sarosh received prompt and favorable responses from prominent people. So on May 17, Dr. Deshmukh gave his first talk in Ahmednagar. Since this day coincided with the full-moon day of Vaishaka, the birthday of Lord Buddha, Dr. Deshmukh first introduced the audience to the life and principles of Gautama, the Buddha. Then, with skill and deep conviction, he turned to the subject of Meher Baba, whom he presented as the same Enlightened One now living amongst us. An auspicious beginning to the work Baba had assigned to him! After Dr. Deshmukh was finished, I also spoke on this occasion. During the latter part of May, it was arranged that Sarosh drive Dr. Deshmukh, Adi, and me to various towns in the district, leaving Ahmednagar early each morning and returning each night. Since I had no advance knowledge of the itinerary, it was to my great surprise that, after a visit to Rahuri, I found myself on May 21 back in Sangamner. The public meeting there had been organized by Vaman Sabnis, my former host, and Gade, and it was to take place in the high school building. Although Baba had not given me a specific time limit in which to convey His message to Vaijanath, I felt that, in His loving compassion for me, He had expeditiously arranged my visit to this town within ten days of giving this instruction! Since Adi had been present when I related to Baba my encounter with Vaijanath, I asked him if we could go to the place where Vaijanath stayed, taking Vaman and Gade with us. Adi quickly explained the situation to Sarosh in Gujarati, and he happily agreed to the visit.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN When we reached Gade's farm, I noticed Vaijanath sitting in a room, or perhaps it was on the veranda. A calm, quiet atmosphere surrounded him. Knowing the weakness of my mind and body, Baba, with his sense of humor, seemed to have arranged the perfect situation. I stood before Vaijanath, flanked and fortified on one side by Sarosh, a tall, robust man, and on the other by strongminded Adi. So it was with ease and confidence that I opened my discussion with Vaijanath. I said, "I was here some days back, but today I am here with a special message for you: Meher Baba says that He is the Avatar. He is going to give a public darshan on September 12 in Ahmednagar. I extend an invitation to you for His auspicious darshan." Vaijanath listened intently to what I said, and simply nodded. We had no time to linger, and anyway, my mission had been completed; so we immediately left for Sangamner. I felt greatly relieved; everything had gone smoothly. Later, I learned that in June Vaijanath sent several verses in Marathi to Baba through Vaman Sabnis. These verses were read out to Him, and He seemed pleased. Accordingly, Vaman was instructed to convey Baba's love blessings to Vaijanath. Baba's ways of contacting saintlike persons and masts were unfathomable, and hence beyond comment or interpretation. After visiting a few more towns for Baba meetings, I returned to Kurduwadi, where my job awaited me. I felt immensely beholden to Beloved Baba for helping me to obey His order as naturally as water flows in a stream winding its way to the river. And that direct glance of Baba's stayed with me in my heart, unbeknownst even to myself, watching over my sleeping spirit to awaken me to the reality of His ever-abiding presence as the Avatar. Sometimes I still envisage Baba's index finger pointing at me, gesturing, "I am the Real One."

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA A Personal Tribute to Adi Love felt in Meher Baba's physical presence penetrates to the innermost realms of the heart, and the fragrance of His divinity helps one to relive the felicity and glory of the moments spent with Him. On my return home in the beginning of June, thoughts about my stay in Mahabaleshwar, lit by His radiant presence and surcharged with His divinely authoritative statement that He is the Real One, would often transport me to a region of rapturous joy. In addition to my precious moments with Baba, the month of May had given me many opportunities to move about with Adi, as we visited various places in the Ahmednagar district to give talks about Baba and His life. This intimate association with Adi provided occasions for me to witness his life at close quarters. In fact, from the first time I met Adi, I had felt a high personal regard for him. For more than a decade, from 1945 to 1956, I visited Adi frequently, my longest visit being this one in May '54. From 1957 on, Baba allowed me to stay with Him during my school vacations; therefore I did not spend as much time with Adi in these later years as I had before. Yet because of the warm and familiar feeling I still have for him, I wish to share my thoughts about this loving and unforgettable disciple of Baba's. Many of the "firsts" in my life with Baba were directly connected with Adi. It was in a postcard sent to me through Adi in 1943 that I received my first communication from Baba, in which He conveyed His love. Adi was the only other person present when I first garlanded Baba and received my first loving embrace. On my first visit to Meherazad in 1946 — before Baba House was built — I was escorted by Adi in his car. And it was in a letter written by Adi that Baba conveyed to me that my contact was now directly established with Him, and that I was permitted to go and stay with Him whenever family and job circumstances would allow. Whenever I had the opportunity to visit Adi, I would always look forward to having leisurely and intimate conversations with him about his life with Baba. I owe a great spiritual debt

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN to him for those conversations, which gave me a new perspective on Baba's divinity as it can be expressed in everyday life. During some of my stays, I used to read out His Indian and foreign mail. This indirectly provided me with many occasions gradually to become aware of Baba's all-enveloping Omniscience. Adi had been one of Baba's first disciples, joining Him in the early 1920s. After the death of Chanji (Framroze Dadachanji) in Srinagar, Kashmir, in 1944, Adi was directed by Baba to take up the secretarial work that Chanji had been handling until then; Adi remained Baba's secretary for the rest of his life. Adi's home in Ahmednagar — the Khushroo Quarters — gradually became Meher Baba's office, and all correspondence to and from Baba passed through Adi. Thus Adi played a vital role in keeping Baba's lovers informed about His life through personal letters as well as through circulars and books. Through his warm, inspiring, and instructive replies to the letters addressed either to him or to Beloved Baba in seclusion, Adi served as a link for many people in their coming closer to Baba. Adi was a man of aristocratic taste and bearing: he relished good food, loved smoking cigarettes (which Baba limited to five a day), and enjoyed driving fast cars. He was also very kind and loving of heart. Adi was a fine singer, and accompanied himself on the harmonium when he sang ghazals to Baba. During the New Life, Adi would sing the deeply moving and powerful "Song of the New Life," training the companions to join him on the chorus. Adi was typically frank and forthright, a man of strong likes and dislikes. Many of those whom Baba chose to have near Him were not only strong-hearted but strong-willed as well. This was certainly true of Adi, who could, when the situation called for it, become a true lion in Baba's cause. During one of Baba's visits to the West in the '50s, a Westerner asked Adi, "What have you learned during your years in the company of Meher Baba?" Adi, after a puff on his cigarette, replied with the conviction that was so natural to him, "Sir, I

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA have learned two things: one, God exists; two, Meher Baba is God." The gentleman did not dare to question him further. During the years that I visited him at Khushroo Quarters, from time to time Adi would pour out stories from the treasury of his own experiences with Baba. Some of these episodes had been utterly exhilarating, but some had been trying as well. Yet always I could feel the warmth of Adi's love for Baba as palpably as one would feel the heat while sitting near a fire. What shone out from our conversations together, as we sat up talking late into the night, was his unshakable conviction that Baba is the Avatar. That Baba is God was to Adi a certainty beyond all doubt. His one-pointed, overflowing love for Baba gladdened my heart even as it challenged my mind. For I was in awe of a conviction so complete that it had gone entirely beyond the level of intellectual interpretations and had become a basic reflex of his being. In fact, one of Adi's favorite expressions was: "Conviction in Baba is nothing less than God-realization in disguise. "Baba's divinity was such a certainty in Adi's life that he would talk about it as freely and casually and naturally as most people would talk about the acts and traits of some good person who happened to live next door. Sometimes while talking about Baba, Adi's eyes would glisten with tears, and he would pause for a time before continuing. Those unshed tears and pregnant silences conveyed to me even more than his words. I still cherish the memory of those wonderful late-night hours in Khushroo Quarters. After Baba set aside His physical body in 1969 and the waves of Westerners began coming in pilgrimage to Meherabad and Meherazad, Adi's office would be crowded in the late evenings. In the informal atmosphere that prevailed there, as cups of tea were passed around, newcomers who had never met Baba in person would be regaled with Adi's inspiring talk. In addition to sharing stories about Baba's life, Adi would welcome questions, especially those pertaining to living for Baba and the obstacles one encounters within oneself. Adi had given deep thought to the inner life with Baba, and his answers, which he gave forth to all, the ripened fruit of this

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN long reflection, were always inspiring. When asked, for example, what Baba meant by the balance of mind and heart, Adi once gave this metaphor: Mind and heart must work together. Mind without heart is like a river bed without water — lifeless and dry. Heart without mind is like a river without banks — the water, having nowhere to flow, becomes a swamp. Mind and heart working together is a beautifully flowing river, lovely to behold. What a superb figure illustrating the need to integrate these two aspects of one's personality! Adi was not only a great lover of the Avatar, but he was a scholar as well. He had read widely in Sufism and Vedanta and always set aside time for a daily meditation on Baba. Though blessed through most of his life with a strong physical constitution, in his old age he came to suffer from arthritis and other bodily complaints. Yet he accepted these limitations with good grace, commenting humorously, "It is wonderful to grow old in the heart with Baba, miserable to grow old in the body!" One-pointed and fiery in his love for Beloved Baba, Adi worked tirelessly in His cause until the end. It was on a visit to a city in Andhra Pradesh, where he had been invited to speak at the unveiling of a statue of Baba, that he died suddenly of a heart attack. This news was communicated to Baba's lovers in India and around the world in a cable sent by Baba's sister, Mani: Adi Senior beloved secretary [and] disciple of Avatar Meher Baba passed away of a heart attack on fourth [March 1980] morning in Guntur, Andhra State, while in active service of His Beloved Lord Meher Baba . . . Jai Baba! — Mani Adi truly lived for Baba and died serving Him. This is my humble, personal tribute to this great disciple and beloved secretary, as I remember him.

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA Kohiyar Brings Fifty-six People to Baba To resume the narration, on May 14, Baba left Mahabaleshwar for Bhilar, intending to stay there for a full week. But after only four days, on May 18, Baba returned to Mahabaleshwar. The lease of Florence Hall in Mahabaleshwar was due to terminate within two weeks, so in the first week in June, Baba intended to go to Satara. Generally, whenever Baba changed His long-term residence, by way of concluding His inner spiritual work, He would permit a darshan program to be held, or else He would offer help to some of the poor people of the area by personally contacting them. Such contact included His washing their feet and giving them prasad, either in cash or kind. On this occasion Baba wanted fifty-six people who were neither beggars nor from the middle class. The work of finding suitable individuals and bringing them to Baba was entrusted to Kohiyar Satarawalla, one of Baba's followers who lived in Mahabaleshwar and owned a general store there. Baba's choosing Kohiyar for this task was part of a larger drama in the life of this very dear lover in Baba's family. To bring out the quality of Kohiyar's connection with Baba and the way of Baba's working with him, I would like to go back several years, to the time of Kohiyar's first meeting with his beloved Master. In fact, it was through his father that this contact first came about. Kohiyar's father was a very devout Zoroastrian who habitually spent long hours in prayers. He had heard of Baba as far back as the early 1930s, and though not devoted to Baba, he did regard Him as a saint. It was another fifteen years, however, before he or any of his family saw Baba in person. This good fortune finally befell them in August 1947, when Baba was giving darshan in a villa in the cantonment area of Satara. 3 News of the program reached the Satarawalla family, and they were determined to seize this opportunity. By the time they reached the villa in the early afternoon, a good-sized crowd had gathered in the hall where Baba was seated. Singers were entertaining Baba with bhajans as the darshanites lined up to greet Him. From the first time Kohiyar

3

See Bal Natu, Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. I, pp. 231-35.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN saw Baba, he was immediately enthralled. His eyes fixed on Baba's resplendent face, he stood immobile, absorbed, staring at Baba from a distance. When his turn came, Baba responded to his longing with a knowing, gentle smile. This smile pierced his heart, and in the years that followed, Kohiyar eagerly longed for the occasion to savor once again the sweetness of Baba's company. Soon after greeting Kohiyar, Baba called Kohiyar's father to Him. As he approached, Baba raised His right arm and put His thumb to His index finger, meaning "a good person." Baba gave him an orange as prasad. Then, without using the alphabet board but relying on gestures, Baba conveyed to him, "I am the Real One. I am the One who listens to your prayers. I am very happy to see you. Remember Me." 4 In this way Baba responded to the old man's long years of devotion. The Satarawallas were thus drawn into Baba's contact, and Kohiyar, for his part, found in Meher Baba his beloved Master. But years had to pass before he could enjoy once more Baba's physical proximity. Finally, in early February 1954, Kohiyar was overjoyed to learn that Baba was staying in his hometown of Mahabaleshwar. He had also heard that His women disciples were going to celebrate Baba's birthday on February 12 (since by the Zoroastrian calendar this was Baba's Birthday that year). This was to be a private celebration, and others were not supposed to know of it. Kohiyar, however, heard of it from the owner of a guest house who had been asked to prepare sweets for the occasion by Vishnu, one of the mandali. Even though outsiders were not permitted to attend, Kohiyar thought, surely there should be some way in which he could express his heart's love! Kohiyar decided to seize this opportunity to send a beautiful bouquet of roses to Baba. But, knowing that Baba was in seclusion and had given orders that none of His followers should attempt to see Him, Kohiyar sent the bouquet with a local gardener with strict instructions not to reveal the identity of the sender. However, Vishnu, who received the bouquet, reported the matter to Baba, and He immediately wished to know who sent it. The gardener had to disclose that

4

Glow International, May 1984, p. 21.

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA the flowers had been sent by a local Parsi who kept a shop on the main road. That same afternoon Kohiyar found two of Baba's men mandali visiting his store. Eruch asked him cordially, "Are you the person who sent the bouquet of flowers to Baba?" When Kohiyar admitted that he was, Eruch went on, "As Baba is in seclusion, He did not appreciate your anonymous gift. Why couldn't you have sent a card with the flowers? In fact, He was annoyed with you, and so He has sent us to let you know of His displeasure." Kohiyar, groping for an excuse, replied, "Well, Baba is God, so there was no need to enclose a card with my name and address." Eruch shot back, "Ha! So you were trying to be clever! What, did you wish to test Baba's omniscience? You should never do such things with Him. In your dealings with Baba you should always be practical and sincere. And don't let your emotions override your obedience to His orders!" Kohiyar apologized, and Eruch softened. "Anyway, now that you have given yourself to Baba, He wants you to know that He has already pardoned you. But be warned: never try to approach Him unless He has summoned you. Now give your word." Kohiyar promised, and the meeting was concluded. But as time went by and his longing for the company of the beloved Master increased, Kohiyar eventually found it impossible to keep this promise. In April of that year, Kohiyar learned that Baba was still in Mahabaleshwar and, further, that He was in the habit of taking an early morning walk along a particular route. On the morning of April 7, overpowered by his desire to meet Baba personally, Kohiyar hired a taxi and went there, hoping to catch a glimpse of Him. But after a while, disappointed by his fruitless search, he remarked to the taxi driver, "I wonder why Meher Baba has canceled His walk today." The driver looked at him in surprise and answered, "But didn't you see Him? We just passed Him." Leaping from the taxi, Kohiyar raced back up the road to where he could see Baba walking with Ramjoo. Completely

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN forgetting the instructions given to him, he ran and prostrated himself in front of Baba on the road. Then recollecting himself, without waiting even for the exchange of a single word, he immediately jumped up and rushed back to the cab, feeling rather shame-faced and guilty. Ramjoo told Baba that the person who had bowed down to Him was that same young Parsi storekeeper who had anonymously sent Him flowers. So again Baba sent two of His disciples to visit this rather impatient lover. But they learned from Kohiyar's father that his son had left town on a business trip to Bombay that very day. On the succeeding days, Baba kept sending someone to find out whether Kohiyar had returned. This kind of repeated inquiry, which may sound strange to those unfamiliar with Baba's ways, was actually one of His methods of expressing His intimacy with someone. Finally, one day Eruch and Pendu found Kohiyar at the shop. As his act of prostrating himself before Baba had been in direct disobedience to Baba's instructions, he now received a severe scolding from Eruch. Yet, as before, this chastisement ended with Baba's compassionate pardon. But now, Eruch advised, Kohiyar should really do his best to obey Baba, without such failure and lapses. In conclusion, Eruch told him, "Baba sends His love and says that whenever He sends for you, you are to come immediately." Kohiyar was delighted to hear this, for it seemed that his longing to be with Baba again might at last be fulfilled. More than a month passed, with Kohiyar waiting restlessly for the call. Then, on May 17, Eruch and Pendu appeared in his shop. He invited them into the living area in back, but they declined, saying, "We have come here for a special purpose. Baba has some work for you." Impetuously Kohiyar replied, "I can do anything for Baba! What is the work?" "Baba's work is not as easy as you think," Eruch warned, "and before we can tell you what it is, you have to assure us that you will do it." A vague anxiety registered on Kohiyar's face, and he replied, "I am sure that I can do what Baba expects me to do. But will you be kind enough to let me know a little about

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA it? What kind of work will be assigned to me?" But Eruch replied seriously, "Remember, don't be hasty in giving your consent. Baba's work is no joke! It is not like eating chocolates. Take a little time, but be firm and honest. Beware, before you give us your word." Kohiyar felt puzzled, and he found it difficult to answer. He thought to himself, "What sort of people are these? What strange condition is Baba asking me to fulfill before I can meet him?" Eruch and Pendu simply waited, saying nothing, refusing to enter the house before receiving from him an affirmative reply. In a pleading tone, Kohiyar repeated, "How can I give my full consent until you tell me what I am supposed to do?" From a rational standpoint, Kohiyar was entirely right, of course, but Baba's masterly ways are many a time beyond human understanding. Eruch and Pendu were also helpless, because they were bound to act strictly according to Baba's instructions. Since Kohiyar had still not committed himself definitely, Eruch turned to Pendu and said, "Kohiyar is undecided — he doesn't know if he can obey Baba implicitly or not. Let's go. Why waste time?" This alarmed Kohiyar, who now overcame his qualms. He blurted out, "I agree to carry out Baba's instructions, whatever they may be. Please come inside!" Satisfied by this unconditional acceptance, Eruch and Pendu now accepted Kohiyar's invitation. When all were seated Eruch disclosed Baba's message, "On June 3, Baba wants you to bring to Him at Florence Hall fifty-six people, both men and women. They shouldn't be beggars, nor should they be blind or lame, but all should be hardworking individuals who are trying to earn a living for their families." Kohiyar was relieved to hear this, since, as a longtime resident of Mahabaleshwar who had once been on the City Council, he knew some such people in that area. "Done! That's not difficult for me." But Eruch cautioned, "Wait. You have to follow some specific instructions when you do this work. When you have found

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN all the right people, you have to accompany them to Florence Hall yourself on that particular day — the third of June. They should know in advance that someone is going to wash their feet and offer them financial assistance. But under no circumstances should you let them know Baba's identity or where you are bringing them." Kohiyar was taken aback. With a look of utter surprise on his face, he protested, "But surely they'll want to know where they are being taken and whom they're going to see? It's only natural!" Pendu answered curtly, "You have agreed to do this work, and we have conveyed Baba's instructions to you. From here on, it's your lookout as to how to manage these details and to see that Baba's orders are fulfilled. The point is, in a nutshell, be at Florence Hall with these people on June 3 at exactly nine in the morning without fail. Also, bring with you some written background information on each person, which may or may not be read out to Baba." And with that, the two mandali rose and left the house. Thoroughly bewildered, Kohiyar watched them until they were out of sight. "No fiction could be stranger than Baba's instructtions," he thought. How was it possible to fulfill such orders, in view of the conditions that Baba had imposed? But somehow he felt certain that all would end well. As it happened, as soon as he began making contacts, doors seemed to open before him. Though it seemed incredible to him, by June 2 he had succeeded in convincing fifty-four suitable individuals to accompany him on the designated day, without having to disclose to any of them where they were being taken or who they were going to meet. Yet on the morning of June 3, he was still two persons short of the fifty-six required by Baba, so he asked his own boy servant to come along, bringing the sum up to fifty-five. Then, as he was leading this motley group to Florence Hall like some modern-day Pied Piper, he noticed a poorly dressed man standing in the street. Since time was short, Kohiyar skipped the usual inquires and without further ado asked the man to join the party, using as bait that the man would be given some

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BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR SATARA material help. Thus, it was in a state of nervous exhaustion mingled with relief and sweet anticipation that he arrived at Baba's residence on time and with the full complement of fifty-six people that Baba had asked for. Eruch, Pendu, and Baidul were already there. A small wooden platform with a bucket and mug had been placed nearby in readiness. After Baba came and took His seat, one by one they filed before Him as the name of each one was read out. After Baidul had instructed them not to balk or try to pull away, Baba would wash their feet as they stood on the platform before Him, and would give each one a packet of money as prasad. In this way, everything proceeded smoothly until the fifty-fifth person. Now, as Kohiyar's servant approached, Baba gave Kohiyar a quick, knowing look, and gestured, "In pleasing Me you have also tried to please yourself" — because he had sought some benefit for his servant. But when the last man reached the platform, the man whom Kohiyar had just picked up along the roadside, Baba's mood changed. "Not a good choice," He gestured, and added that the man was a money lender. Baba warned Kohiyar that in the future he should be more careful with the work entrusted to him. The program ended, and all filed out of Florence Hall. This was Kohiyar's first chance to watch Baba working at close hand, and he was profoundly moved by His divine presence, which was both regal and humble. The sublime nobility of Baba's features and movements struck him with great force. Witnessing and participating in this work brought him closer to Baba as his beloved Master. Kohiyar did not have a personal interview with Baba that day, but he felt Baba's love and compassion silently and continuously flowing out to him. Before departing, Baba told him that on the same day He would be moving to Satara for a long stay. He gave Kohiyar permission to see the mandali whenever he happened to visit there, but not Baba Himself. Incidentally, Kohiyar later found out that the fifty-sixth man was indeed a money lender, as Baba had indicated. This glimpse of Baba's omniscience strengthened his conviction

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN that Baba definitely knew his heart and mind. In giving Him a chance to serve Him, Baba had richly blessed Kohiyar. The Avatar graciously offers many opportunities to His dear ones to participate in His divine cause. In His humor and compassion, He creates situations that give us the impression that He vitally needs us. Yet in reality He alone does His work. And when we are privileged to share in that work, it is He Who chooses us: we don't choose Him. All is by His grace. Yet ought we not to long and strive to become the recipients of that grace?

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BABA’S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST 1954 ~ PART XV New Meher Literature Released In the '40s, Baba had journeyed many thousands of miles to contact God-intoxicated individuals known as masts. During this period of intensive inner spiritual work with these advanced souls, Baba rarely gave public darshan. During His travels His disciples were under strict instructions not to disclose His identity. If the people encountered along the way happened to ask who Baba was, the mandali would refer to Him as their elder brother, or as a businessman (seth) from Bombay. This decade closed with Baba's inauguration of the New Life, which in turn was concluded in February 1952. From April to August of this year, Baba gave His darshan to His lovers in the West; it was after His return to India, during what He called the Fiery Free Life, that Baba visited the Hamirpur district in the north and Andhra Pradesh in the south. During these tours Baba gave out enlightening messages on a variety of spiritual topics during the large public darshan programs that had been arranged for Him. In a sense, Baba was letting His Name out of seclusion and allowing His message of love and truth to be disseminated openly among the masses; the public character of His working distinguished this phase in the early '50s from what had transpired previously. For the purposes of His spiritual work, Baba was now making Himself available to large numbers of people. So, in 1954, when His lovers in Hamirpur and Andhra extended to their Beloved God in human form another loving invitation to visit various cities, towns and villages in their district, He accepted. And it was during these programs that, for the first time, Baba openly declared Himself to be the Avatar of the Age. 1 Among the tens of thousands who had His darshan were

1

Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. III, p. 113ff.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN hundreds of men and women who willingly accepted Baba's divinity in their hearts and were longing to learn more about His life. Hearts were full, but the mind craved words! Always the Compassionate One, Baba invariably responds to the needs of His dear ones. So it was that at this time books and periodicals devoted to Baba began to appear. In the United States, in July 1953, Filis Frederick started to publish The Awakener, a quarterly magazine. The next year witnessed the publication of Francis Brabazon's Journey with God, the first of many volumes on Baba by this close disciple from Australia. In this book, Francis portrayed in verse his personal impressions of Baba's second Andhra darshan tour in February 1954, to which he had been invited. In "Notes on 'The God-Man,"' Francis wrote the following sublime lines: That man is the God-Man who makes the path easy — Nay, who wipes out the path altogether, Goes straight to the heart of the matter And gives one realization of the Self. 2 Also in 1954, the Indian periodicals Meher Pukar and Velugu began to publish, in Hindi and Telugu respectively, Baba's messages as well as articles on His life. In different parts of India, small groups of Baba lovers started to hold weekly meetings. Some Baba lovers were inspired to compose bhajans and songs in praise of Baba's divinity and Avatarhood, and singing these new compositions, singly and in chorus, gave them great joy. The first song book in praise of Baba was published under the title Shri Meher Geetawali. Edited by Baba's dear disciple Keshav Nigam, this volume included ghazals, bhajans, and other songs glorifying Baba in Urdu, Hindi, Marathi, Telugu, and Gujarati. The love through these songs helped make Baba lovers from various stations and walks of life forget their differences of caste, creed, and language; Baba brought them together like "beads on one string." In June 1954, another collection of songs composed by Sulloo Meshram, entitled Meher Prakash Bhajanwali, was published by Meher Publications in Ahmednagar. These songs

2

Journey with God, p. 17.

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST gave expression to the sublime feelings that flowered in the garden of Sulloo's love for Baba. In retrospect, it seems that a new avenue to Meher Baba opened up in 1954, an avenue of publications of Baba's words and books and booklets about Him, through which greater numbers of people could learn about the Avatar. The silence of the Avatar began to communicate itself to His dear ones through the words He inspired in some of His lovers’ hearts! Baba's Nagpur Visit and Sulloo Meshram Each one in Baba's family has his or her own story of the Beloved. I would like to interject here an episode from the early life of Sulloo Meshram, one of Baba's dear lovers and the author of the song collection Meher Prakash Bhajanwali. Meshram first heard of Baba when he was just thirteen years old. He was living with his family in Nagpur, a city Baba visited for a few days in December 1937. Accompanied there by several of the mandali, including Princess Norina Matchabelli, Baba stayed at Mary Lodge, the home and estate of Papa Jessawala, Eruch's father, in a locality known as Chhavni. Because of various incidents that took place at the time, a certain amount of publicity attended Baba's visit to the city, and reports about Him began to appear in the newspapers. Sulloo himself did not see Baba at this time. However, while reading the press reports about His visit, something touched his heart, and he felt impelled to find out more about this Man who had become the center of so much interest. Those around Baba have often noticed that, as the propitious moment of one's coming into the orbit of the Avatar's love draws near, a number of seeming "coincidences" occur. Sometimes gently, sometimes forcibly, these coincidences push one toward Him. In Sulloo's case, it was simply a newspaper account that made the initial contact. But before continuing with Meshram's story, I cannot resist recounting a unique episode that took place during the course

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN of Baba's stay in Nagpur in December 1937. While it does not relate directly to Meshram, it does convey a sense of the atmosphere that prevailed around Baba at this period. After all, Baba is the Timeless One. So any story that provides occasion for loving remembrance of Him serves the purposes of this chronicle. This striking anecdote was told to me by Gaimai Jessawala, Eruch's mother, who was Baba's hostess for His visit. Gaimai recollects the story as follows: Beloved Baba's stay at our house, Mary Lodge, in Nagpur, for three or four days in December 1937, was delightful and memorable for all of us. Some of the time was taken up with a public darshan program that was held on the estate for three consecutive days. On one occasion, soon after Baba arrived with Norina and a few of His men mandali, I noticed a woman entering. All of a sudden she began to shout loudly and repeatedly, "Kalanki Avatar has come!" Kalanki [Kalki] Avatar means the White Horse Avatar or the Expected One. Trying to pacify her, I asked her where she had come from and what was the purpose of her visit. In a very agitated tone she told me her story. She said she was the wife of a judge in Baroda [Gujarat] and had a guru who had died some time back. She had a vision or a vivid dream in which the guru told her that she should go at once to Nagpur to a place called Chhavni [camp], where Sakshaat Parabrahma Paramatma ["God manifest in human form"] as the Kalanki Avatar was going to give darshan. Accordingly, she caught the first available train, and after arriving at Nagpur and getting directions, she came straight to our house. She brought her brother and sister-in-law with her for Baba's darshan. Hearing her story, I offered her food and refreshments. But she refused, impressing upon me that our entire household should desist from eating while Sakshat Parameshwar was in our home! When the darshan program started, the woman worked herself into a frenzy, proclaiming repeatedly that the

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST Kalanki Avatar had come and that all should hasten to take His darshan. She kept rushing back and forth in the great crowd of darshanites who kept filing past Baba. Eventually, Baba called for Norina and told her to instruct the woman to make her announcement to a group of women sitting in the far end of the hall and not to shout near Him. But Norina politely argued that, because of the language barrier between them, it would be difficult to make the woman understand what she was saying. However, Baba gestured to her to speak to the woman anyway. So Norina threaded her way through the crowd and started to give Baba's message in English, speaking slowly. But evidently the woman guessed from Norina's beautiful features and continental manner where she was from and started conversing with her in broken Italian! Amazed, Norina then realized why Baba had insisted that it should be she, of all people, who should converse with the woman. Later on, when I was washing Baba's laundry, this same woman approached me and asked to be allowed the great privilege of also washing some of His clothes. But as it was Baba's order that I alone should perform this task, I had reluctantly to refuse her earnest request. But while Baba was out of His room, she managed somehow to get hold of a pair of His chappals [sandals] and, with great fervor, went around the house tapping the heads and faces of everyone with them! Although the judge's wife was a stranger to Gaimai and did not return to Mary Lodge thereafter, what was significant about her visit was that she gave to the people of our age an early intimation that the Avatar was again in our midst. This came long before Baba Himself was openly to assert His status as that same Ancient One. Apparently the time had not yet arrived for people to hail Baba publicly as the Avatar. The woman's sudden arrival and departure was like a streak of lightning flashing for a few moments across the sky, only to vanish as quickly as it had appeared. It seems that whatever little time she spent in Baba's presence must have

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN filled her heart to the brim with His divine love. Silently, Baba bestowed upon her the deep conviction of His being the Avatar. This awakening to Baba's presence within her heart was so profound that she had no need to see Him again physically; nor did Baba inquire about her further. Incredible! In His all-encompassing divinity, Baba knows what one needs, how much, and when! Such was the divine charisma and magnetism of Baba's personality that, in His presence, extraordinary incidents like this were not unusual. To resume Sulloo Meshram's story: in 1938, a year after Baba's darshan program in Nagpur, while Sulloo was still in his early teens, he took to visiting the Jessawalas, and there he learned more about Baba. Procuring Baba's address, he wrote Him a letter in which he expressed his desire to see Him in person. Baba, in response to Sulloo's longing, lovingly granted this request. And so, in the first week of April 1938, overjoyed at receiving Baba's invitation, this young boy of fourteen left Nagpur by train on a 700-mile journey to Panchgani (not far from Poona) where Baba was then residing. Some of the money for the trip had been provided by his school principal, who was interested in spirituality. At Kalyan, which is a junction, Sulloo had to change trains. But upon leaving the compartment he found to his dismay that his suitcase, containing clothes, some Baba photos, and all his money, had been stolen. He was literally penniless. Only two baskets of oranges, which the Jessawalas had entrusted to him to give to Baba, remained. What a predicament for a young boy venturing alone on such a long trip! Although he had lost even his ticket, somehow he managed to get onto another train, wondering all the while why such misfortunes should befall him when the journey he was engaged in was to meet the All-Compassionate One. Yet it is not uncommon for people to lose something tangible when they are traveling to meet the Avatar. Perhaps these tangible losses are an indication that one should be willing to part also with the intangible thoughts and feelings that stand in the way of seeing the God-Man as He ought to be seen.

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST When he arrived in Poona, Sulloo had no idea how he would travel on to Panchgani with no ticket and no money. But as luck would have it, he met a bus driver bound for Panchgani and told him of the theft of his suitcase. The driver not only believed his story, but as it turned out, had formerly been one of the servants who years earlier had carried water to Baba's bungalow, and so had a special feeling for Him. This driver happily agreed to give Sulloo a free ride to Panchgani. Once again, Baba's unseen guiding hand had silently taken care of the details of a lover's journey to Him. When he got off the bus in Panchgani, to the boy's complete surprise, a stranger approached him and asked if he was Sulloo Meshram. This stranger turned out to be Baba's brother Jal, who by Baba's order had been waiting to receive him. As it happened, Papa Jessawala had sent a telegram from Nagpur to Panchgani, informing Baba about Meshram's departure. Jal took Sulloo to the mandali's residence. A short while later, Baba arrived and took His seat, His long hair flowing and a radiance glowing on His face. Sulloo's heart leapt within him, and he rushed to Baba, prostrating himself at His feet. Baba lovingly inquired about his journey, and He beamed a smile as He heard about the theft of the suitcase. For He had committed a far greater theft — He had stolen this young boy's heart! In his enthusiasm Sulloo exclaimed that he wished to offer his life to Baba and to obey Him implicitly. Baba did not respond at that moment but asked him to go with Vishnu, one of the mandali, to rest in a nearby lodge. Sulloo stayed on in Panchgani for three days. On the second day, while he was having a bath, another of Baba's disciples, Gustadji, came into the room. Because he was observing silence, Gustadji conveyed through signs that Baba had summoned Sulloo to come to Him immediately. Sulloo had heard that whenever called, one was expected to go without delay. Although he had just started his bath and was wearing only his underwear, he left immediately without taking time to dress further. He found Baba sitting with a few of His disciples. Half-naked,

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Sulloo stood before Him. Baba asked, "Have you slept well? Did you have any special thoughts?" Sulloo replied, "Baba, I spent several hours singing songs in Your praise." Baba looked happy and gestured, "Fit for the spiritual path." As Sulloo had obeyed Baba immediately without question, Baba gave him some guidelines to follow. They were: he should never tell a lie to anyone; he should abstain from lustful actions, smoking, and alcohol; and he should not eat meat, fish, or eggs. Further, Baba instructed Sulloo to meditate for an hour every day and to write "Om Parabrahma Baba" for another hour daily. On the last day of Sulloo's visit, Baba ordered Vishnu to make arrangements for his return to Nagpur. Sulloo was taken by car to Poona on the first leg of this trip; and from there a train ticket to Nagpur was bought for him. In short, Baba paid for his entire return fare. What a royal send-off from the King to one of His teenage lovers! He had come to Baba penniless but was leaving with the coffers of his heart filled with real spiritual treasure. He arrived safely in Nagpur, where he gave a full account of his stay with Baba to the Jessawala family. After this initial meeting, a rapport was established between Sulloo and Baba which continued to grow through the years. Baba sowed the seed of love divine in Sulloo's heart, and in time this seed began to germinate and flourish as naturally and spontaneously as a bud opening its brightly colored petals to the sunlight. In early 1954 he was inspired to compose songs about Baba in both Hindi and Marathi. Compiled in Meher Prakash Bhajanwali, these songs were the fragrant flowering of Sulloo's love for the eternal Beloved. Correspondence Reopens: New Circular Issued In June 1954, after concluding His long stay in Mahabaleshwar that had begun on November 1 of the previous year, Baba shifted His headquarters to Satara, a nice city in Maharashtra

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST State. Like Mahabaleshwar, Satara was already familiar to those accompanying Baba, since Baba had established mast ashrams in both places in the late '40s. Two bungalows, about a mile apart, were rented for Baba's use. The bungalow named Grafton was reserved for Baba and the women mandali, while the small group of His men disciples occupied Rosewood. In the mornings, Baba with one of His disciples, the night watchman or someone else ordered by Him, would walk briskly to Rosewood to attend to correspondence and to discuss the details of His day-to-day activities. Both houses were located in the camp area, a quiet part of Satara with many pleasant bungalows, large and small, surrounded by well-kept gardens and hedges. The roads were broad, clean, and relatively uncrowded. The climate in this part of Maharashtra is comfortable throughout the year, neither too hot nor too cold. In general, Satara was an inviting place of residence, and it was a special favorite of Baba's. By the end of May, the restriction on correspondence to Baba had ended. So mail began to flow in from Baba's dear ones who had been eagerly awaiting the opportunity to write Him about assorted family news and the programs they had arranged to spread His message of Love. Since Baba was often on tour, they had been directed to write to Him in care of Adi in Ahmednagar. Most of the mail bore the glad tidings of their love for Him, but there were a few problem cases. On June 2, Adi received the following telegram addressed to Baba: Resigned job on first June 1954, in obedience to Your order. Left wife on eighteenth October 1953. Living separately in hotel. Kindly give me sannyas and allow me to live on begging, in any place. This surprising communication came from Kuppuswami, who had been in contact with Baba for over a decade. Kuppuswami was sincere in his search for God but rigid in his ideas of how to conduct this search. The implication in his telegram, that Baba had ordered him to leave his wife and job, was totally unfounded. He was vaguely trying to use Baba's discourse on external renunciation to suit his own convenience.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Baba's close ones knew that He did not wish His lovers to abandon their families and responsibilities. In meetings large and small, Baba had repeatedly conveyed to them, "Remember Me wholeheartedly. I will be with you; I will help you. Be in the world but not of it." Internal rather than external renunciation was what Baba wished of His lovers. Under Baba's direction, Adi replied to Swami that Baba had not ordered him to renounce the world as he had done and that he had misconstrued Baba's words. A part of Adi's letter, which illustrates his forceful way of writing, is reproduced below: I received your letter. It seems that once more a wave of deception and foolishness has come upon you, and so, once more — the third or perhaps fourth time in your life — you have given up your job. You say that you have given up your house and the world also. This is not what Baba asked you to do. This has been a cowardly move on your part. You were repeatedly warned before not to dabble with whimsical, cynical moves in life and call them your own exalted spirituality ... If you are still a wise man, if there is some sanity left in you, you must immediately give up your false thinking and unnatural way of life and immediately go back to your job, to your house, to your family, and resume discharging honestly the duties of life. Baba can be pleased by your taking up a life of a true karma yogi [a person leading a householder's life, in the loving remembrance of God, dedicating the results of his or her actions to Him]. Whether or not Swami went back to his duties at the income tax department in Bangalore, I do not know. In November 1955, however, I remember seeing him at a sahavas program, dressed in ocher-colored pajama pants and knee-length shirt. Except for a general greeting in Baba's love, I had no chance to talk with him. At one point in the gathering, however, Baba, on seeing Swami's ocher-colored kalni, remarked, "One has to dye one's heart with the color of detachment and not just one's clothes."

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST Apart from Swami's way of leading his life, here I am reminded of a significant anecdote that Swami had shared with me. In the mid-forties, during my stay at Meherabad, Swami told me that, while playing cards, Baba made a meaningful and symbolic observation about the Joker. In spite of being the highest card (in many card games), the Joker can replace any other card, high or low, in any suit. Baba conveyed, "The Avatar is like the Joker. He jokes and juggles with all, and yet He is above all." From Baba's statement I gathered that the Avatar is equally approachable and available to all — the clever and the dull, the discreet and the whimsical. So Baba with His sense of humor and his unconditional patience must have guided Kuppuswami in acquiring the right perspective in His relationship with Him — the Avatar. During the months of April and May, Adi had been keeping Baba informed on the progress of plans for a large gathering of His followers later that year at Meherabad. After considering various suggestions offered by the mandali, Baba finally decided to hold this Meeting in September. So on June 10, Adi issued a special circular to inform Baba's lovers residing in different parts of India of this decision. The complete text is reproduced below to give readers an idea of how particular Baba was about the details connected with any of His programs: 1. Avatar Meher Baba desires to meet at Meherabad (Ahmednagar) on 29th and 30th September 1954 His close disciples, devotees, associates and all those who love Him, irrespective of whether at any time they saw or did not see Him. 2. Only those who are genuinely interested in Baba as "Baba" or in His work need take the trouble of going to Him and availing themselves of the occasion of getting benefited by His presence and getting a true understanding of His work. 3. In the meeting or meetings that will be held at Meherabad, Baba wants to make absolutely clear, certain, and [original text has missing word error here]

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN His work in this life. Just as the "Rajahmundry Meeting" in Andhra State called for His work and workers was the first and last of its kind, so also this Meherabad Meeting will be the first and last of its kind before He gives up His present physical body. 4. With the exception of a Mass darshan programme that will be held on 12 September 1954 in Ahmednagar proper, when He may give a message or messages, the above Meherabad Meeting occasion will be the last for Him to give a message or messages. 5. Amongst the many phases of Baba's work, the one that signifies the act of giving messages will be discontinued from the beginning of October 1954 onwards. They will veritably and literally be stopped. 6. All those (males only above the age of 16) who decide to attend the Meherabad Meeting should fill in the Acceptance Form provided herewith, sign it, and send it, so as to reach Adi K. Irani not later than 1st August 1954. 7. All those who decide to attend the meeting should individually send as dakshana, rupees twenty-two (Rs.22/-), by a money order to Adi K. Irani, to reach him not later that 1st August 1954. 8. On receipt of the Acceptance Forms and the money orders from the intending visitors, they will be provided with (by post or otherwise) an Admittance Form or a Token that will give them entrance to Meherabad and will permit them freeof-charge board and lodging for 29th and 30th September 1954, and a free bus ride from Ahmednagar Railway Station to Meherabad and back. 9. All should bring with them their bedding rolls, battery torches and clothes, enough to last them for their journey both ways and two days' stay at Meherabad for their greater convenience. Due to scarcity of water, it will not be possible to wash or get washed soiled clothes during their stay at Meherabad.

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST 10. All attendants at the Meeting will bear their own expenses for the journey from their place of residence to Ahmednagar railway station and back. 11. All those attending should decide, find out and fill in a column that will be provided in a Slip attached to the Admittance Form giving the precise time and day of their arrival at Ahmednagar Railway Station between the afternoon of 28th September and early morning of 29th September 1954. 12. To ensure your free bus ride from Ahmednagar Railway station to Meherabad, you should reach Ahmednagar Railway Station at the following hours: 28th September Via Dhond at 2:21 P.M. and 9:23 P.M. 28th September Via Manmad at 3:24 P.M. 29th September Via Manmad at 12:36 A.M. 3 A wave of delight swept over Baba's lovers when they received this circular. Their eyes would soon rest upon their Beloved! Once again they would bask in His glorious presence! For some it was their first opportunity to meet Him. As it turned out, Baba inaugurated a new phase in His work with this meeting, despite the circular announcing this as the last sahavas, as several sahavas programs were held at Meherabad subsequently in the later '50s. Though none could guess the significance of this gathering, all were thrilled at the prospect of being in the company of the Avatar of the Age! Links of Love While the preparations for the meeting at Meherabad were getting under way, changes were occurring in the lives of several members of the Kotwal family. The Kotwals had long been living in close association with Baba. In June 1954, Najoo Kotwal completed her nursing degree and was expecting a position in Bombay. By this time her sister, Hilla, was married; and Adi, her brother, had just embarked on university study in Poona. Their father, Savak, was one of the resident

3

Life Circular, No. 18, June 10, 1954.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN mandali, traveling with Baba wherever He went; and their mother, Nargiz, had been living at Meherabad for many years. The children had grown up at Meherabad, and they would go there to stay for their school vacations. But now that her children were older, Baba suggested that it would be more practical for Nargiz to leave Meherabad and resume her life in Bombay, where she could be closer to her children. Nargiz had heard of Baba through her husband, Savak, who had first met Him in the '30s. In the intensity of his love for Baba, Savak wanted to leave his bank job in Bombay and live with Him permanently. After several years, in response to his heart's longing, Baba granted this wish, on the condition that Savak "sell everything." Gladly availing himself of this rare opportunity, by March 1940, Savak had managed to sell off all of his property and came to stay with Baba in Bangalore, bringing with him his wife and three children. Nargiz loved Savak wholeheartedly, as a woman loves a man. Coming from a wealthy family, for love's sake she had given up everything to become the wife of Savak, who was not a rich man. Later, she joined hands with Savak in his new spiritual adventure of leading an austere ashram life with Baba. She had not been consciously seeking God herself, but because of her love for Savak she agreed to adhere to this unforeseen and sometimes difficult way of life. Thus she shared in the good fortune of living at Meherabad, under Baba's direct instructions, for many years. Any link of selfless love with anyone, when it is accompanied by the spirit of willing sacrifice, eventually leads a person to God. Since Nargiz was frail and delicate of constitution, ashram life was not easy for her. Once, not long after the family had joined Baba, while traveling on a bus with Him, she began to feel weak. In addition to the unaccustomed rigors of her new life-style, Nargiz was still recovering from an illness. Finally, to her relief, the bus stopped for a while, and Baba stepped out and stood by the bus. Suddenly the thought flashed through her mind, "What would happen to my three children if I were to die?" Baba, the Omniscient One, turned to her and lovingly responded to her thought. "Don't worry," He gestured. "You

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST will not die soon. I am with your children, always." This greatly surprised Nargiz; she was deeply comforted by this timely response and felt sorry that she had doubted Baba. In the challenges that she had to face in her life, she began to feel that Baba was definitely helping her, and this convinced her of His omnipotence. The seed of trust and reliance on Baba was sown in her heart, and gradually she came to accept Him as her spiritual Master. Her link with Baba was forged by His ongoing love. Over the succeeding fourteen years her three children were sent by Baba to the best schools and received their education. Now in 1954, with her children finishing their schooling, Nargiz moved back to Bombay where she could attend to the needs of Adi and Najoo. So with His permission, she left the quiet atmosphere of Meherabad and took up residence in the noisy, crowded city once again. However, her inner contact with Beloved Baba remained intact. Once one comes into close contact with Baba, experiencing His presence is not dependent upon the proximity of His physical form. To follow His wish is what matters. This is what maintains the link with His omniscient Love. Two days after Nargiz's departure from Meherabad to Bombay on July 6, 1954, one of Baba's close followers, Gabriel Pascal, passed away in Roosevelt Hospital in New York. A renowned Hollywood personality, Pascal had been working for some years on a film project on Meher Baba. At his death, another Baba follower and co-worker on this project cabled Baba: "It is finished. Phoenix [Baba's nickname for Pascal] loved you deeply." In reply, Baba sent the following telegram: "Pascal has come to Me. Love from Baba." Thus a brilliant and dramatic career came to an end in the loving remembrance of the Divine Beloved. A genius in the world of filmmaking, Pascal first met Baba in Zurich, Switzerland, in 1934. In this first interview, as one of the mandali later commented, Pascal "went in as a lion and came out as a lamb." Baba's radiant presence touched his heart deeply. Baba expressed interest in Pascal's work, and after their meeting Pascal would write to Him about his

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN various film projects. In the '50s Pascal began to apply his energy and enthusiasm towards a film on Baba's life entitled "The Slippers of the Perfect Master." Intended for wide commercial distribution, this movie would include film footage from the anniversary of Baba's birthday, to be celebrated in Andhra on February 25, 1954. To oversee this filming, Pascal had already bought plane tickets to India. However, unavoidable complications forced him to cancel these plans. Soon afterwards he fell ill and was admitted to Roosevelt Hospital in New York. In June 1954, while in the hospital, Gabriel wrote Baba two letters. The excerpts below give some sense of the flavor of his relationship with Baba: My Beloved Baba, . . . I am like a new-born boy starting to live again but it goes slowly. You gave me a terrific new outlook about human life and I now see everything from a new angle ... Here I had, I confess, many relapses in my health, and many temptations ... I will get healthy in Baden-Baden, and I will be, by the end of August, in your everlasting arms [i.e., in India]. I know you are always with me. Without you, I would be nothing but a little pariah in this world . . . My body is so weak as never before, so you have the balance in your own Master hands. I trust that you are playing the Divine game, according to human rules ... Maybe sometimes you hear a frivolous remark from me, even in my dying pain, but you know that thousands of years ago I was a pixie and a faun and I was allowed to make fun of the gods, and God Pan himself, and that is in my blood. So please forgive me if sometimes I talk like thousands of years ago. But I know that you love me as the Gods loved then. And that's my only comfort in this valley of misery . . . Ever your Phoenix, Gabriel 4

4

The Awakener, Vol. II, No. 2 (Fall 1954), pp. 6-7.

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST Pascal was indeed a brilliant personality. Throughout his life he was torn between his search for God and his passion for the flesh. He lived like a prince, but he was perpetually in debt and died penniless. Yet after his death, the musical My Fair Lady, based on the play Pygmalion, for which the author, George Bernard Shaw, had given Pascal all the rights, brought a fortune for Pascal's successors. What an irony of fate! But "Phoenix" won the real treasure, for as Baba said in His cable, "Pascal has come to Me." Thus by Baba's grace Pascal, the "Phoenix," was enabled to open his wings and fly to the abode of Baba's love! On Religion and Silence Day In July of 1954, several of Baba's disciples wrote a memorable article entitled "The Truth about Religion." Based on Baba's teachings and incorporating excerpts from His messages, the final English draft was read out to Baba, Who agreed that it should be translated and published in Hindi, Marathi, Telugu, Tamil, Malayalam, and Gujarati. The English text was first published in The Awakener, and some selected passages are reproduced below: Irrespective of whether a person believes through the medium of ideas or idols, with sincere love and faith in God, he or she can get ever nearer to Him, Who is already the nearest of all. The essence of faith lies not in the shape or manner of one's belief, but in the depth and sincerity behind it. The faith that can move mountains can, and does, move the greatest of them — the mountain of Ignorance that denies an individual a glimpse of one's true Divinity and also conceals one's true Identity. God is Freedom, Bliss, Knowledge Eternal. To put Him exclusively within the four walls of man-made churches is but added proof of our ignorance. God is Fathomless. To bind Him within narrow and limited channels of dogmas, creeds, and churchified conventions is to admit that we

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN lack the true perception of God's Omniscience. Unconsciously man is always seeking, aspiring, yearning for something higher — though he misinterprets that longing in the elusive expression of ambition, power, and human love ... Faithful or infidel, touchable or untouchable, black, white, brown or yellow, every man and woman is ultimately destined for the Supreme Goal . . . 5 Meher Baba has followers from among manifold religions. At one time or another they have been asked by friends and strangers whether Meher Baba asks His followers to give up their religion. On the contrary, Meher Baba states: Follow whatever religion you like, but follow its innermost core. Do not make a mockery of it by adopting the conventional husk of religion and ignoring the underlying Truth. Religion should not be a convenience to be indulged in, but words of Truth to be lived ... I belong to no religion. Every religion belongs to Me. My personal religion is My being the Ancient, Infinite One, and the religion I impart to all is Love for God, which is the Truth of all religions. 6 This passage is reminiscent of another laconic statement of Baba's: "All religions are great, but God is greater." In the last week of June the following instructions concerning the observance of Silence Day were sent out to Baba's followers in India: Avatar Meher Baba desires all His lovers to observe fast and complete silence beginning from 6:00 P.M. on July 10, 1954, to 6:00 P.M. of July 11, 1954 (Indian Standard Time); to try to keep pure thoughts and actions during the period of fast and silence; to repeat inwardly (inaudibly) any one name of GOD as frequently as possible during the 24 hours of fast and silence. During the period of fast, tea and coffee is permitted thrice. Drinking water may be taken frequently. 7

5

Ibid., pp. 10-110. Ibid., p. 12. 7 Life Circular, No. 19, June 23, 1954. 6

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST Meher Baba had begun observing silence on July 10, 1925, and His silence remained unbroken for over forty-three years, until He put aside His Man-form on January 31, 1969. From 1953 onwards, almost every year, a circular was issued at Baba's direction giving specific instructions to be followed by His lovers on Silence Day, if they wished to do so. Sometimes He asked them to repeat a name of God, audibly or inaudibly, other times He wanted them to fast or keep silence, or both. In the last circular of its kind, issued by Adi K. Irani in May 1968, Avatar Meher Baba expressed His wish as follows: On the 10th of July, the 43rd anniversary of My Silence, I want all My lovers to observe complete silence for twenty-four hours, from midnight of 9th July to midnight of 10th July 1968. Adi, Baba's secretary, added the following lines: Please note that Baba has given no option of a fast for those who may find it impractical to observe silence. None must write for further clarification (to Baba) concerning it. 8 This was the last time that Baba gave a specific instruction to His lovers about July 10. Now that the avataric "cloak" (the physical form that Infinite God put on to become Meher Baba) is removed from our sight, it is natural for some to ask the mandali whether or not silence should be observed on this particular day. In 1979 Mani, Meher Baba's sister, shared some of her thoughts in an informal talk on this subject in Mandali Hall at Meherazad. She said: There should be no question in the minds of anyone [Baba lovers], whether we should observe silence or not. It is an opportunity that we should not let pass by! Every lover of Baba, to my mind, should observe silence on the 10th of July — Silence Day. You salute your Beloved Baba by giving Him a rose; you would not call that a routine or ritual. It is an expression of your love, a piece of your heart . . . Baba has observed silence for all — for each one of

8

Life Circular, No. 69, May 15, 1968.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN us — and if we cannot give that little response for one day — if we cannot keep our lips closed for one day of the year — then that's too bad. I don't feel that by keeping silence we are going to help the world or anything like that. That is not why we are doing it. It's just a salute, in homage to His Love for us; an expression of our love for Him. Beloved Baba observed silence for all these years, and for one day He has "said" we can share it with Him too. How blessed we are! In 1954, on July 10, more than seventy percent of those from a particular village in the district of Hamirpur (U.P.) fasted and observed silence for twenty-four hours. A blessed village indeed! The opportunity to observe silence on July 10 each year, as mentioned in the last Life Circular, remains an open invitation from Him to His lovers. To observe silence on this day is to invite Baba to revitalize one's relationship with Him. In exceptional situations, however, I personally feel the decision rests with the individual. Whatever one decides each year will please Baba as long as it is honest and sincere. He understands us more than we understand ourselves. Rhoda's "Key Meeting" with the Avatar In the middle of July I received a letter from Eruch written by Baba's directive. It stated: Baba repeats, just to remind you once again that you should try your best not to forget to give Life Circular No. 18 (Ref. Meetings at Meherabad; September 29-30, 1954) to Baba lovers, devotees and admirers known to you ... The most important part of this letter is that Baba, this time, not only wishes but personally wants all His lovers (men only) to attend these meetings which have their special, spiritual significance . . . Baba sends His love. Accordingly, I shared the news with my friends and

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST relatives. The response was not encouraging, but I had done my work; the rest was up to Baba. What was important to me was the trust Baba had reposed in me by assigning to me this task. Through this small task I felt that He had expressed His intimacy with me, planting in my heart the seeds for sharing His glorious life with others in the future. At this time Adi was beginning to receive reservations for accommodation at Meherabad from Baba lovers who wished to attend the Meeting. He kept Baba informed of the names and total number of those expected. Meanwhile, Padri, Pendu, and Chhagan were busy making arrangements for accommodation at Lower Meherabad. Sarosh and Adi were given the task of seeing to the comfort and convenience of the Westerners who were to stay at Upper Meherabad from September 11. Will Backett and Charles Purdom, longtime disciples of Baba from England, reached Bombay on August 20, three weeks early, as there were no steamers available that would reach India in time for the meeting. They stayed in a good hotel in Bombay, visiting frequently with Meherjee and Nariman, until the time for them to leave for Meherabad. Baba decided to leave Satara for Ahmednagar on August 31, stopping for a few days in Poona on the way. The day before His departure, Rhoda Dubash, one of his dear ones, had a memorable meeting with Him at Rosewood, the bungalow where the men mandali were residing. The meeting came about like this. In the '50s Rhoda and her husband, Adi, were living in Karachi, Pakistan. In August 1954, Rhoda came to India for vacation with her two sons, planning to stay at Panchgani, a health resort near Mahabaleshwar. But while she was in this country, Rhoda wondered whether it would be possible to have Baba's darshan. So she wrote to Baba's secretary, Adi, asking where Baba was staying at the time. He replied that Baba was in Satara and, although He was not actually in seclusion, He was not seeing any of His lovers. Despite this somewhat discouraging news, Rhoda still yearned for Baba's blessed darshan, since she had not seen

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Him for over two years. During her stay at Panchgani, she learned that one of her cousins occasionally visited Satara (some fifty miles away) on business, leaving in the morning and returning in the evening. She asked if sometime she could accompany him. Her cousin readily agreed. So, on August 30, Rhoda set out with eager hopes of seeing her Beloved Lord, Meher Baba. Arriving at Satara, Rhoda asked her cousin to take her to Grafton, the bungalow where Baba was staying. But on the way, Rhoda was filled with qualms. "What would Baba say about my dropping in unannounced!" she wondered. "What am I doing here?" But she persuaded herself that she had to go ahead with it, since she had something very personal and profound that she wanted to tell Him. In any case, it was too late for her to turn back now. As the car drew near to the bungalow, she asked her cousin to stop at a little distance from the gate; there she got down, asking him to pick her up again in the evening. Knowing Baba's ways, Rhoda suspected that, if a car was waiting for her, Baba would see her for a few minutes and then send her packing. But on foot she would be helpless to depart. "All's fair in love and war," she concluded as she watched the car drive off. When it was only a tiny speck in the distance, she turned and walked to the gate to Baba's residence. Rano Gayley, one of Baba's American disciples, appeared and asked what she wanted. Rhoda replied, "I've come to see Meher Baba." "He's not seeing anyone," Rano replied. "That's all right, just give Him a message. Tell Him that a lover of His has come from Karachi to dedicate her life at His feet," Rhoda answered. Rano was touched at Rhoda's words and instantly reached over the gate to shake hands with Rhoda. "Wait a minute," she said and disappeared into the house. A few minutes later Rano returned and said, "I've given your message to Baba. He is very happy and wants you to come to Rosewood, where the men mandali are staying, at two o'clock." Rhoda was overjoyed. "But could you please tell me where

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST Rosewood is?" she asked. "Why, don't you have anyone to take you there?" asked Rano. Rhoda was all innocence. "Not a soul!" she answered. Rano asked her to wait again. Rhoda was sure that now Baba would ask her in. In a short time, however, Dr. Goher approached her, and they lovingly embraced. Goher told her, "Baba wants me to take you to Kohiyar Satarawalla's house. Under Baba's direction, he will take you to Rosewood at two o'clock, and Baba will see you there." With this, Goher escorted Rhoda to Kohiyar's house and cycled back. Now, years later, Rhoda laughingly says, "Well, you can't say I didn't try to see Baba at Grafton. But Baba is the Avatar, and He is always one up on us!" Kohiyar welcomed Rhoda with open arms, since bringing her to Baba would give him an opportunity to see Baba too. Immediately after lunch Rhoda was impatient to be off, even though there was more than enough time. So she and Kohiyar set out on a shortcut across a field. They had just reached the main road when they saw a car coming towards them, honking. "It's Baba! It's His car!" Kohiyar exclaimed, stopping abruptly. The car drew up alongside and Eruch's head popped out through the window. "You couldn't wait," he said to Rhoda, smilingly. "Well, Baba sent His car for you. He told me that it's too hot for you to walk, so I should bring you to Rosewood in the car." "But where does Baba sit?" asked Rhoda. "The front seat," came the reply. Rhoda jumped into the front seat and sat silently throughout the drive, touched by Baba's thoughtfulness. When they reached Rosewood, Eruch told her, "Go in, Baba is waiting for you." Rhoda entered the main hall, but since her eyes, accustomed to the bright sunlight, hadn't yet adjusted to the comparative darkness inside, she couldn't see Baba straightaway. Then suddenly she saw Him, sitting in an armchair to one side of the hall. Love radiated from His whole being. As she approached hesitantly, He smiled and opened His arms to her. The next

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN second she was in His embrace. There are moments in life for which one cannot find adequate words. For Rhoda, this was one of them. Suffice it to say that time stood still as the Beloved embraced her. Love, beauty, peace flooded her being. She had come Home. Baba asked Rhoda to be seated at His feet and gestured, "Your love makes Me very happy." He inquired about her husband, Adi, and also about her son, Merwan, but He did not ask Rhoda about her second son, Homi. During the intimate conversation that followed, Baba put an unexpected question to her: "If I were to ask you to give Me one of your sons, would you do so willingly?" Rhoda was overjoyed, interpreting this to mean that Baba wanted one of her sons to one day live with Him as one of the resident mandali. She spontaneously said, "Yes, Baba!" The answer pleased Him very much. It was only six months later, when her younger son, Homi, died in an accident, that the real significance of Baba's question came home to her. But that's another episode of love and obedience in Adi and Rhoda's life with Baba. Then Baba called to Bhau, one of the resident mandali, and asked, "Do you know her?" When Bhau replied in the negative, Baba showed surprise and said, "Why don't you know her? She's the wife of Adi Dubash." Then, giving Rhoda a mischievous wink, He continued, "Adi, that tall, dark, handsome fellow who nearly drowned Pendu and Eruch in the creek when they were in Karachi!" Baba then asked Eruch to tell Bhau what had happened at Karachi. While Eruch told the story, Baba illustrated it with His vivid gestures, entering into the spirit of the episode. Rhoda was fascinated by the simplicity and eloquence of His movements, by His fingers which flew over the alphabet board, and by the beauty of His many expressions. Watching Him, her heart overflowed with love, bringing to life the words, "My cup runneth over." After a short time Baba asked Rhoda to wait at the other end of the hall while He gave some last-minute instructions to the mandali concerning their impending departure for Poona the

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST next day. He told her, "You are very fortunate to have come today. If you had come a day later, I would not have been here." As she sat quietly at the back of the hall, savoring the presence of her Divine Beloved as He attended to affairs of the household, tears rolled down Rhoda's cheeks. She was too far from Baba for Him to see her distinctly, and she gave no outward indication, apart from the tears themselves, that she was weeping. Yet even while engrossed in conversation with the mandali, Baba, with a look of compassion, flashed a gesture to her, "Don't cry," and immediately resumed his discussion with the mandali. In His perfect timing, the All-knowing One never misses a beat. Shortly thereafter, Baba asked one of the mandali for a certain booklet. Then, calling Rhoda, He handed it to her with the instruction, "Go into that small room and read this. It will help you to understand." Again, Baba had shown His compassion. For just that very morning, on her way to Kohiyar's house, Rhoda had asked Dr. Goher, "What does Baba teach?" "We should simply love him," Goher had answered, which was too brief for Rhoda. But now Baba, by giving her the pamphlet, was responding with His characteristic sensitivity to the unspoken questions of her heart. As she took the booklet, Rhoda thought, "At least I have something given to me personally by Baba." But Baba, with a twinkle in His eye, gestured, "By the way, don't forget to return the booklet after you've read it. It belongs to Bhau." Someone then took Rhoda to the adjoining room and pointed to a place on the floor where she could sit and read. The booklet was entitled Truth of Religion. Also called "The Truth about Religion," this was the article written by Baba's disciples the previous July. As she prepared to read, Rhoda noticed that she was not alone. Gustadji, the disciple who under Baba's instructions had been observing silence for many years, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, patching his old coat. He nodded to Rhoda, his rosy-checked face lighting up with a sweet smile. Watching him, Rhoda thought, "He just needs wings and he'd be a perfect archangel!" Then she plunged into the booklet and remained engrossed in her reading for some

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN time. She had just finished when someone came into the room to say that Baba was calling for her. As she entered the main hall, she saw her cousin taking Baba's darshan! Returning to Grafton as they had prearranged that morning, he had been directed from there to Rosewood, where he had the good fortune of being ushered in to meet the God-Man. So now the time had come for Rhoda to leave. To ease the pangs of parting, the compassionate Beloved gave her some consolation by reminding her that she would be seeing Him again in twelve days' time at the Wadia Park darshan in Ahmednagar. Once again Rhoda was enfolded in His beautiful, allcompassionate embrace. What an unforgettable day this had been, which Rhoda refers to as her "key meeting" with Baba. For though Rhoda had first met Baba in 1945, this encounter in Satara was her first intimate time with Him since she had become convinced that Meher Baba was truly God in human form — the Avatar of the Age. This inner certainty had dawned within her one fine morning in 1952 as she was standing near a window in her house in Karachi. Suddenly the conviction of His divine status flowed through her entire being. It was so strong and vibrant that it left her filled with wonder and an exalted sense of upliftment. This experience had aroused in her the restlessness to tell Baba personally about His gift to her and to express her gratitude by dedicating her life totally to Him, hence her feeling of compulsion to see Him at Satara. During her visit to Rosewood she experienced the certainty that Baba had indeed accepted her and that He knew the deepest feelings in her heart. The touching moments of Rhoda's "key meeting" with the Avatar remind me of a small incident in my visit to Meherabad in the mid-forties. A number of us had gathered with Baba in the old Ashram building for a singing program. When it was over, Baba teasingly gestured to one of His dear ones to sing. I was expecting a bhajan or a ghazal; but to my surprise, it turned out to be a Western song, the first I had heard in Baba's presence, sung in an unassuming yet endearing

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BABA'S STAY IN SATARA: JUNE TO AUGUST manner. The opening lines, as far as I can remember, were: "Should I reveal exactly how I feel? Should I confess I love You?" What an enviable open confession of love in response to a casual request of the Beloved! And Baba smiled His wonderful smile, as I imagine He may have done when Rhoda, having offered herself so naturally and freely to Baba, left Rosewood with His love deep within her heart — nay, permeating her entire being.

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR 1954 ~ PART XVI Mildred — One of Baba's Family on Meherabad Hill In early September, shortly after Baba's arrival at Meherazad from Satara, He received a cable from "Eli-Nor-Kit" (Elizabeth, Norina, Kitty) that one of His dear ones, Mildred Kyle, had passed away on the 8th of that month in Myrtle Beach. This gentle and most devoted Baba lover was an intimate friend of Countess Nadine Tolstoy, one of Baba's early Western disciples. It was through Nadine that Mildred first heard of Him. One day, years later in the late '30s, when Nadine was living in Baba's Ashram in India, she showed a photograph of Mildred to Baba. "He accepted it gladly, and on His alphabet board spelled out: 'A great soul,' then placed the picture in His pocket with an endearing touch and smile." During the '40s, when Mildred was over eighty years old, she lived in Seattle, Washington. After accepting Baba as the GodMan, she became the head of the Seattle Baba group. She was assisted in her work of spreading Baba's message by Warren Healy, who used to refer to Baba as "The Wondrous One." In 1948, with Warren's help, Mildred published some beautiful Baba cards and, later, a special message that was received from Baba, entitled "The Religion of Life." This message has not appeared in any other books published since that time, so it seems that it was Baba's personal gift to her. I wish to share a paragraph from it.

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR

Living Truth Man cannot permanently escape his own Divine Self and must inevitably yield to the life-giving Truth, which finally overtakes him, not in the form of a skillfully woven structure of dry and intellectual tenets, but in the form of an Incarnation or Living Manifestation. It then becomes an irresistible and emancipatory power, challenging the false without compromise, and releasing the limitless Divine Life of Love and Understanding. Man can be dislodged from the sandy land of empty words, only when he voluntarily and wholeheartedly surrenders himself to a Perfect Spiritual Master, who in his example, brings to him the Religion of Life. The Religion of Life is not fettered by mechanically repeated formulae of the unenlightened, purblind and limited intellect. It is dynamically energized by the assimilation of Truth, grasped through lucid and unerring intuition, which never falters and never fails, because it has emerged out of the fusion of head and heart, intellect and love. 1 Mildred was widely read on the subject of spirituality, but found that it came to life only after hearing about Meher Baba. Baba's silence, which "passeth all understanding," spoke directly to her heart and initiated her into a living relationship with God. Baba, the "Living Truth," helped her to live a life in which "head and heart" were blended in everyday living, offered in service to Him. Sometime around 1950 she moved to St. Petersburg, Florida, where a Baba group gathered around her. Owing to her advanced age and dedicated life, she was known endearingly to the group as "mother." In 1952 Baba came to America, His first visit since 1934. Mildred met Him for the first time in July, in New York. Although she had been devoted to Him for many years, it was only now, at the age of ninety, that she finally had the opportunity to have the Avatar's physical embrace.

1

"The Religion of Life," sent by Baba to Mildred Kyle, 1948.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN In 1954, on Baba's sixtieth birthday, Mildred arranged a simple program at her home in Florida in which a cup of spiced tea was passed to each guest while a prayer was recited, "May Meher Baba bless this tea with health, happiness, and the New Life of the Spirit." The birthday cake was cut, and the first piece went to the Invisible, Omnipresent Guest — Meher Baba. At the conclusion of the meeting, Mildred read her own composition in which she emphasized the cardinal teaching of each Avatar. About Meher Baba she wrote: The Lord of Love once more is here, His call to a world in need, Is to cease the life of endless strife and turn to the loving deeds. O world, give heed to that clarion call, Proclaim it far and wide, While Meher Baba walks with man As Lover, Friend and Guide. With Baba's approval, Mildred moved to Youpon Dunes, the home of Elizabeth Patterson, in the latter part of 1954. Baba had stayed there during His visit to Myrtle Beach in 1952. Kitty Davy writes in her book, Love Alone Prevails, that Mildred, in spite of her advanced age, was a help to her and Elizabeth, and her coming enabled Kitty to take a short vacation — which she needed. After staying at Youpon Dunes for several months, Mildred passed away following a stroke. Kitty remembers that, near the end, while scarcely conscious, Mildred took Baba's photograph and kissed it. Baba was immediately notified of her death. He cabled the following reply: "Mildred has found eternal peace in Me. Baba." Later, Mani wrote in her letter to the West, "She [Mildred] is with Baba. She was one of His own, and has come to her 'Home' in Baba. He particularly wished her to spend her last earthly days in Myrtle Beach, and had therefore sent her the message to stay on." Ben Hayman brought Mildred's ashes to India when he came for the three-week stay in September 1954. A year later,

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in November 1955, Baba brought her ashes to Meherabad from Meherazad, during one of the sahavas programs. Accompanied by a few mandali, He went immediately up the hill to a place that had been prepared, next to the grave of Countess Nadine Tolstoy, the dear friend who had first told her of Baba. Don Stevens, who was present at that time, and who had known Mildred, was asked to be in attendance in order to share the event with those who had known her back in America. The stone slab was lifted from the small grave. The men were silent as Baba rolled up His sleeves and gracefully lowered a cloth pouch containing Mildred's ashes. Then, for some time, He stood there, shielded from the afternoon sun by an umbrella, staring pensively at the grave of this great yet unassuming soul, so dear to Him. The slab was then placed back over the opening. Thus, in a simple manner, the touching occasion was concluded. On her tombstone are inscribed the words: "Mildred Kyle Has Come to Baba." How fortunate she is to be among the intimate family who were selected by Baba to be interred near His "final resting place" — the Samadhi. Inside this Samadhi rests the human form of Avatar Meher Baba, so it is surcharged with Baba's divine presence. Hence this place — the Power House — has become the center through which the Avatar's ever-living Infinite Consciousness continues to function, radiating His unconditional love and compassion to one and all who visit Him. Grand and Glorious Darshan at Wadia Park September 12, 1954, was indeed a remarkable day in the annals of the spiritual history of Ahmednagar. On this day, thousands came for Avatar Meher Baba's darshan at Wadia Park (now known as Gandhi Park) in Ahmednagar. A huge pandal (a tent with no sides) had been erected for the occasion and was colorfully decorated and fitted with temporary lights and loudspeakers. Even before Beloved Baba's expected arrival at 9:00 A.M., about ten thousand people had congregated

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN in and around the pandal. According to Indian custom, the men were seated on one side, the women on the other. A dais had been erected at one end of the pandal, covered by carpets, and a beautifully upholstered chair was positioned there for Baba. Soft, silken curtains draped all around added to the enchanting atmosphere. Rugs and coir mats had been laid out for the people to sit on, and placards indicated the entrance and exit for Baba's darshan. A group of seventeen Western men from the United States, United Kingdom, and Australia were seated close to the dais; they had come from their respective countries in response to the Beloved's invitation. Several of Baba's mandali were seated there also. At exactly nine o'clock, Baba arrived looking fresh and radiant. He strode gracefully to the dais and took His seat. Gadge Maharaj, a well-known saint of Maharashtra, entered the pandal, approached Baba, and bowed down to Him. Then Baba addressed the crowd, spelling out on His alphabet board, "Not as man to man, but as God to God, I bow down to you, so as to save you the trouble of bowing down to Me." While this announcement was being broadcast in English and Marathi, Baba descended the steps of the platform and prostrated Himself before the assembled multitude. Again, He spelled out on the board, "To make you all share My feeling of being one with you and one of you, I sit down beside you." Baba then sat on the ground with the crowd, first with the men, then with the women. Before returning to the platform, Baba washed and wiped dry the feet of seven men from poor families and placed His head on their feet. After this was done, the men stood in a line before Baba, as He conveyed to them, "As each of you is in one way or another an incarnation of God, I feel happy to bow down to you and lay at your feet this dev-dakshana," a gift offered to God. Then He gave each of the men dakshana of fifty-one rupees. By this time, Godavri Mai had arrived from Sakori with some kanyas. Baba returned to His seat, and then, in the presence of Godavri Mai and Gadge Maharaj, His arti was performed. This was followed by speeches honoring Baba's

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR Divinity and His spiritual work for the upliftment of humanity. Here are some excerpts from the welcome address given by the President of Ahmednagar County, which voiced the sentiments of the people of the district: Most Adorable Shri Meher Baba! After a lapse of nearly twenty-five years, we, the people of the District of Ahmednagar, feel fortunate for being blessed by Your august darshan. And, on behalf of all the inhabitants of this district, I have the great privilege to welcome You wholeheartedly on this occasion when You have blessed us all through Your great love and Your holy darshan ... Your ever-peaceful and ever-smiling face, and Your everbright eyes, full of spiritual radiance, are sufficient to fill any man with joy, and to make him pay homage at Your feet ... On behalf of the men and women of this District, I most humbly offer this address to You with all devotion. While the speeches were being given, Baba expressed His happiness that Gadge Maharaj, the great saint of Maharashtra, and Godavri Mai, the favorite disciple of His Master, Upasni Maharaj, were present on the dais. At the conclusion of the speeches, Baba conveyed, "The one real thing to be understood is that the greatest hypocrite is he who, himself being a hypocrite, asks others not to be a hypocrite." Baba looked often with intense, compassionate feeling on the thousands gathered there for darshan, who gazed back at Him with expectant eyes. The loveliness of His presence filled their hearts with a rare delight that calmed their wearied minds. Meher Baba had dictated special messages in English for this occasion, which were read out in response to all the speeches by the attending dignitaries. These messages were "Meher Baba's Call," "When I Say I Am the Avatar," "On My Observing Silence," and "How to Love God." The Avatar's words given at any time hold meaning for all time, and this seems especially true of these messages. The first message, "Meher Baba's Call," was read only in Marathi. The rest of the messages were given both in Marathi and in English, and are reprinted

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN below. The first relates to people's reactions to Baba's declaration of His Avatarhood. The second concerns the divine mystery of His silence, and the third gives practical, everyday ways to love God. When I Say I Am the Avatar When I say I am the Avatar, there are a few who feel happy, some who feel shocked, and many who, hearing Me claim this, would take Me for a hypocrite, a fraud, a supreme egoist, or just mad. If I were to say every one of you is an Avatar, a few would be tickled, and many would consider it a blasphemy or a joke. The fact that God being One, Indivisible, and equally in us all, we can be nought else but one, is too much for the dualityconscious mind to accept. Yet each of us is what the other is. I know I am the Avatar in every sense of the word, and that each of you is an Avatar in one sense or the other. It is an unalterable and universally recognized fact since time immemorial that God knows everything, God does everything, and that nothing happens but by the Will of God. Therefore, it is God who makes Me say I am the Avatar, and that each one of you is an Avatar. Again, it is He Who is tickled through some, and through others is shocked. It is God Who acts, and God Who reacts. It is He Who scoffs, and He Who responds. He is the Creator, the Producer, the Actor, and the Audience in His own Divine Play. On My Observing Silence If you were to ask Me why I do not speak, I would say I am not silent, and that I speak more eloquently through gestures and the alphabet board. If you were to ask Me why I do not talk, I would say, perhaps for three reasons: Firstly, I feel that through you all I am talking eternally. Secondly, to relieve the boredom of talking incessantly through your forms, I keep silence in My personal physical form. And thirdly, because

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR all talk, in itself, is idle talk. Lectures, messages, statements, discourses of any kind, spiritual or otherwise, imparted through utterances or writings, are just idle talk when not acted upon or lived up to. If you were to ask when I will break My silence, I would say when I feel like uttering the only real Word that was spoken in the beginningless beginning, as that Word alone is worth uttering. The time for the breaking of My outward silence to utter that Word is very near. How to Love God To love God in the most practical way is to love our fellow beings. If we feel for others in the same way as we feel for our own dear ones, we love God. If, instead of seeing faults in others, we look within ourselves, we are loving God. If, instead of robbing others to help ourselves, we rob ourselves to help others, we are loving God. If we suffer in the sufferings of others, and feel happy in the happiness of others, we are loving God. If, instead of worrying over our own misfortunes, we think ourselves more fortunate than many, many others, we are loving God. If we endure our lot with patience and contentment, accepting it as His will, we are loving God. If we understand and feel that the greatest act of devotion and worship to God is not to hurt or harm any of His beings, we are loving God. To love God as He ought to be loved, we must live for God and die for God, knowing that the goal of all life is to love God, and find Him as our own Self. 2 Thus, through such direct and clear statements, Meher Baba explained in simple yet powerful words the meaning of the Avatar's Advent. He also provided guidelines for His followers and seekers of Truth. And He showed humanity ways of living a spiritual life in the midst of daily activities. These messages were received with profound respect and

2

Three Incredible Weeks with Meher Baba, pp. 5-7.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN deep appreciation, in spite of the vast size and diversity of the assembly. After the messages were read out, Baba left His chair and sat on the edge of the dais for the day's main event — the darshan and distribution of prasad (a blessed gift). The women were given the first chance to come forward. Many garlanded Baba, and He gave each a handful of sweets as they touched His feet with their hands or their heads, receiving His darshan. Then it was the men's turn. Through this whole long day, Baba looked most loving and radiant, showing not even the slightest sign of fatigue. All were amazed to witness His untiring strength, selfless love, and compassion. Intense Darshan Continues up to Six O'Clock The darshan program was well organized and progressed in an orderly fashion. However, hundreds of people continued to throng the pandal and were becoming restless: all were anxious to come before Baba to receive His darshan and prasad. Around noon, the queue of women receiving prasad was interrupted by a crushing wave of men, impatient for their turn, who pressed forward to the edge of the platform. The Ahmednagar police and Baba's mandali were finding it difficult to restrain them. It seemed as though Baba might be physically endangered by the disorder. Several of Baba's mandali pleaded over the announcement system for the crowd to calm down. The din continued until Baba Himself stood up and, with folded hands, motioned to the crowd to retreat, which it did. However, later in the program, the people's enthusiasm was so great that Baba had to stand up four or five times to restore order. He gave His assurance that He would give prasad to them, even if this required Him to sit there for a much longer time. The crowd was comforted by this, and the program resumed in an orderly way. Gadge Maharaj was near Baba during the whole darshan program. He first sat at Baba's feet, but then Baba had him sit by His side. He assisted Baba, and, out of loving concern, worried that the intense work must be a severe strain for Baba. Several times he suggested that Baba stop the

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR distribution, but Baba did not agree. In his desire to give Baba some relief, Gadge would gently press His hands. Baba smiled as he did this service, and gestured that it was giving Him strength to continue. During the darshan program, a mast by the name of Kutrewala Baba came before Baba. Kutrewala means "he who has dogs" or "one who lives in the company of dogs." Kutrewala carried a tin containing food for dogs, which he ate also. He approached Baba and bowed before Him. Baba embraced him and had him sit for a while on His right side. Baba also ate a little of the food from Kutrewala's tin, which looked unclean. During the glorious occasion of the Avatar's presence, the eyes of most of those gathered in the pandal remained fixed on His resplendent divine form. His face and eyes radiated love, and His every smile was a treasure to behold. Baba's loving expression seemed to magnify when He was in the company of a mast or a saint. Fortunate were those who witnessed the brilliance of Baba's face on this occasion, with Gadge Maharaj, a great saint, on His left, and Kutrewala, a God-intoxicated soul, on His right. The darshan program continued until about 3:00 P.M. Then Baba left the dais briefly to inaugurate the bhandara (a large feast offered freely in the love of God). The reception committee had arranged this program in Baba's honor to provide food for those who had come for darshan. Baba seated Himself on the ground, joining the first batch of about twelve hundred men, women, and children of different castes and walks of life. The food was served to Baba and the others on pattals — plates made of leaves. The meal consisted of lapsi (a preparation of wheat, raw sugar, and clarified butter) and amli (spiced liquid lentil). During this time, and all through the day of darshan, a movie crew was filming Baba. While Baba was eating amongst the crowd, there were some near Him longing to have a little prasad of food from Him. Responding to these unspoken longings, Baba gave a bit of His food to one or two fortunate ones near Him. This prompted many others to extend their hands to Baba, but He quickly

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN finished His food and returned to the dais to continue the darshan. The bhandara program continued after Baba left, and it was estimated that over fifteen thousand people were fed that day. Around four o'clock the darshan crowd became restless again. Baba stood up so all could see Him clearly. A little later, one of the most exceptional moments of the program occurred. This was the first public appearance of Baba's women mandali — including Mehera. Baba gave prasad to each of them. Darshan and the distribution of prasad continued. Gadge Maharaj, impelled by his concern for Baba, asked Him to stop the program. It was close to six o'clock. A little later, the restlessness of the crowd increased. Turning to Gadge, Baba gestured that He now wanted to stop. Baba touched the remaining prasad in blessing and indicated that it should be distributed after He left. Although the remaining crowd of people did not receive prasad from His own hand, His presence amongst them for so many hours was itself a gift from the Avatar. Now, as then, those who wait for the Avatar with tear-filled eyes will receive, in His time, the sight to see Him; those who meditate wholeheartedly on His words will receive new understanding; those who remember Him with unprejudiced minds will have their minds refreshed; and those who come with devotion in their hearts will have their hearts awakened to His call. It isn't possible to say how many people had Baba's darshan that day, but it was estimated that nearly fifty thousand people had come for that moment of lifetimes. All castes and creeds were present: Hindus, Muslims, Parsis, Christians, and Sikhs. There was no question of high or low, rich or poor, man or woman, young or old. The rows of bullock carts and automobiles parked nearby showed the diversity of people coming for this unique opportunity. Several thousand villagers had arrived at Wadia Park the night before the darshan lest a possible rain or flooding of nullahs on the way to Ahmednagar delay their journey. The

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR people from Arangaon, the village next to Meherabad, came in a procession with a large photograph of Baba decorated and mounted on one of their carts. In the crowds no difference existed between officer and subordinate, coolie and landlord. It was wonderful to see all congregated side by side for the darshan of the Highest of the High. For Baba's family from the West, it was an experience to treasure for the rest of their lives. Summing up the day's events, Malcolm Schloss and Charles Purdom wrote: The last glimpse we had of Baba as He left the park was one in which He was seated on top of an automobile, bowing in every direction to crowds of people reluctant to let Him go. He had seated Himself first on the hood, giving darshan to latecomers, but the press grew too great, and He retreated to the top, and the car moved slowly out of the park with the Avatar in a distinctly novel position. For all of us, this . . . "mass darshan" of Baba will be a memorable event which will grow in significance as we grow in understanding. We are grateful to Baba for having made it possible for us to participate in it. 3 Meher Baba's Call During the momentous and moving darshan at Wadia Park, the Avatar's message "Meher Baba's Call" was read out only in the local language, Marathi. Because it is a profoundly important statement concerning the Avatar and His authority, the English text is reproduced here. Beloved Baba's message "The Highest of the High," given in September 1953 in Dehra Dun, had many ifs: . . . "if I am just an ordinary man . . . ," ". . . if I am the Highest of the High . . . ," "if you truly and in all faith accept your Baba as the Highest of the high . . . ," etc. But in His message "Meher Baba's Call," given a year later, He clearly confirmed that He is the Avatar. And while addressing the thousands sitting before Him in Wadia Park, He was symbolically appealing to all of

3

The Awakener, Vol. II, No. 3 (Special Issue, 1955), p.7.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN humanity to harken to His Call. Openly and authoritatively, He invited all people: "Come All unto Me." In later years, to those who gathered around Him during big and small assemblies, Baba would add to His statement "I am the Avatar" by also declaring with divine humility, "I am the slave of those who love Me." And He would gesture in silence to His lovers, "Take Me with you." Those who trusted Him then, and trust Him now, feel His sparkling presence and enlightening guidance whenever they call on Him. He gave the Call; it is He who never fails to respond to it. Through the Call, Meher Baba has gracefully unveiled His divine status and authority as the Avatar, the Awakener of the age. For the reader's convenience, this message has been subtitled under five headings taken from the original text. Come All unto Me Age after age, when the wick of righteousness burns low, the Avatar comes yet once again to rekindle the torch of Love and Truth. Age after age, amidst the clamor of disruptions, wars, fear and chaos, rings the Avatar's call: "Come all unto me." Although, because of the veil of illusion, this Call of the Ancient One may appear as a voice in the wilderness, its echo and re-echo nevertheless pervades through time and space, to rouse at first a few, and eventually millions, from their deep slumber of ignorance. And in the midst of illusion, as the Voice behind all voices, it awakens humanity to bear witness to the Manifestation of God amidst mankind. The time is come. I repeat the Call, and bid all come unto Me. This time-honored Call of Mine thrills the hearts of those who have patiently endured all in their love for God, loving God only for love of God. There are those who fear and shudder at its reverberations, and would flee or resist. And there are yet others who, baffled, fail to understand why the Highest of the High, who is All-Sufficient, need necessarily give this Call to humanity.

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR Irrespective of all doubts and convictions, and for the Infinite Love I bear for one and all, I continue to come as the Avatar, to be judged time and again by humanity in its ignorance, in order to help man to distinguish the Real from the false. Invariably muffled in the cloak of the infinitely true humility of the Ancient One, the Divine Call is at first little heeded, until in its Infinite strength it spreads in volume to reverberate and keep on reverberating in countless hearts as the Voice of Reality. True Humility Strength begets humility, whereas modesty bespeaks weakness. Only he who is truly great can be really humble. When, in the firm knowledge of it, a man admits his true greatness, it is in itself an expression of humility. He accepts his greatness as most natural and is expressing merely what he is, just as a man would not hesitate to admit to himself and others the fact of his being a man. For a truly great man, who knows himself to be truly great, to deny his greatness would be to belittle what he indubitably is. For, whereas modesty is the basis of guise, true greatness is free from camouflage. On the other hand, when a man expresses a greatness he knows or feels he does not possess, he is the greatest hypocrite. Honest is the man who is not great and, knowing and feeling this, firmly and frankly states that he is not great. There are more than a few who are not great, yet assume a humility in the genuine belief of their own worth. Through words and actions they express repeatedly their humbleness, professing to be the servants of humanity. True humility is not acquired by merely donning a garb of humility. True humility spontaneously and continually emanates from the strength of the truly great. Voicing one's humbleness does not make one humble. For all that a parrot may utter, "I am a man," it does not make it so. Better the absence of greatness than the establishing of

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN a false greatness by assumed humility. Not only do these efforts at humility on man's part not express strength — they are, on the contrary, expressions of modesty born of weakness which springs from a lack of knowledge of the truth of Reality. Beware of modesty. Modesty, under the cloak of humility, invariably leads one into the clutches of self-deception. Modesty breeds egoism, and man eventually succumbs to pride through assumed humility. The greatest greatness and the greatest humility go hand in hand, naturally and without effort. I Am the Greatest When the Greatest of all says, "I am the Greatest," it is but a spontaneous expression of an infallible Truth. The strength of His greatness lies, not in raising the dead, but in His great humiliation when He allows Himself to be ridiculed, persecuted and crucified at the hands of those who are weak in flesh and spirit. Throughout the ages humanity has failed to fathom the true depths of the humility underlying the greatness of the Avatar, gauging His Divinity by its acquired limited religious standards. Even real saints and sages, who have some knowledge of the Truth, have failed to understand the Avatar's greatness when faced with His real humility. Age after age history repeats itself when men and women, in their ignorance, limitations and pride, sit in judgment over the God-incarnated man Who declares His Godhood, and condemn Him for uttering the Truths they cannot understand. He is indifferent to abuse and persecution, for in His true compassion He understands, in His continual experience of Reality He knows, and in His Infinite Mercy He forgives. There Is Nothing but God God is all, God knows all, and God does all. When the Avatar proclaims He is the Ancient One, it is God Who proclaims His manifestation on earth. When man utters for

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR or against the Avatarhood, it is God Who speaks through him. It is God alone Who declares Himself through the Avatar and mankind. I tell you all with My Divine authority, that you and I are not "WE," but "ONE." You unconsciously feel My Avatarhood within you; I consciously feel in you what each of you feels. Thus, every one of us is Avatar, in the sense that everyone and everything is everyone and everything, at the same time, and for all time. There is nothing but God. He is the only Reality, and we all are one in the indivisible Oneness of this absolute Reality. When the One who has realized God says, "I am God. You are God, and we are all One," and also awakens this feeling of Oneness in His illusion-bound selves, then the question of the lowly and the great, the poor and the rich, the humble and the modest, the good and the bad, simply vanishes. It is his false awareness of duality that misleads man into making illusory distinctions and filing them into separate categories. I repeat and emphasize that, in My continual and eternal experience of Reality, no difference exists between the worldly rich and the poor. But, if ever such a question of difference between opulence and poverty were to exist for Me, I would deem him really poor who, possessing worldly riches, possesses not the wealth of Love for God. And, I would know him truly rich who, owning nothing, possesses the priceless treasure of his Love for God. His is the poverty that kings could envy and makes even the King of kings his slave. Know, therefore, that in the eyes of God the only difference between the rich and the poor is not of wealth and poverty, but in the degrees of intensity and sincerity in the longing for God. Love for God alone can annihilate the falsity of the limited ego, the basis of life ephemeral. It alone can make one realize the Reality of one's Unlimited Ego, the basis of Eternal Existence. The Divine Ego, as the basis of Eternal Existence, continually expresses Itself; but shrouded in

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN the veil of ignorance, man misconstrues his Indivisible Ego and experiences and expresses it as the limited, separate ego. Pay heed when I say with My Divine authority, that the Oneness of Reality is so uncompromisingly unlimited and allpervading that not only "We are One," but even this collective term of "WE" has no place in the Infinite, Indivisible Oneness. Deep Longing for Love of God Awaken from your ignorance, and try at least to understand that in the uncompromisingly Indivisible Oneness, not only is the Avatar God, but also the ant and the sparrow, just as one and all of you are nothing but God. The only apparent difference is in the states of consciousness. The Avatar knows that that which is a sparrow is not a sparrow, whereas the sparrow does not realize this, and, being ignorant of its ignorance, identifies itself as a sparrow. Live not in ignorance. Do not waste your precious life-span in differentiating and judging your fellow men, but learn to long for the love of God. Even in the midst of your worldly activities, live only to find and realize your true Identity with your Beloved God. Be pure and simple, and love all because all are One. Live a sincere life; be natural, and be honest with yourself. Honesty will guard you against false modesty and will give you the strength of true humility. Spare no pains to help others. Seek no other reward than the gift of Divine Love. Yearn for this gift sincerely and intensely, and I promise in the name of My Divine Honesty, that I will give you much more than you yearn for. I give you all My Blessing that the spark of My divine love may implant in your hearts the deep longing for Love of God. This message soon reached Baba's dear ones in the West. In response to the Avatar's clarion call, Josephine Esther Ross —

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR who had met Baba during His first visit to the United States in 1931 — succinctly expressed the kernel of Meher Baba's message in the form of a poem entitled "Avatar: Shri Meher Baba." Her inspired and inspiring verses that trumpet the God-Man's invitation, "Come All unto Me," are given below: "Above the tumult of the world His Message pure and sweet — The Voice of Baba calls us To worship at His Feet. "From Heart to heart His Love goes forth, From Soul to soul His Light, From Mind to mind His Wisdom, From Life to life His might. "His Beauty is a Flaming Sword, A Beacon shining bright That penetrates the clouds of self To guide us through the night. "His Wordless Word a Challenge, His Tenderness a flower, That soften with compassion The impact of His Power. "Above the tumult of the world, His message sweet and clear: "Come unto Me, my children, Draw nigh and have no fear. "Come unto Me, ye weary, As birds unto the nest, Drop at My Feet your burden And find in Me your rest."

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN "Come unto Me, my loved ones, And find in Me release. Be still and know that I am God, The Messenger of Peace. "Be still and know that I am God. Be done with doubt and strife, I am the Resurrection, I am Eternal Life. "For I am He that cometh And I am He that came, The Crucified, the Glorified, Eternally the same. "Behold, My pierced hands and feet, The thorns upon My Head! And yet, again, I come to give The sacred Wine and Bread. "And, once again, upon the Path Which blessed Jesus trod, I come to guide a sinful world Back to the Heart of God." 4 The Avatar's periodic call is a loving overture from God, whenever He assumes a human form. Although omnipotent, the Avatar does not impose His wish on anyone. Until it is willingly honored, He continues to suffer silently, patiently waiting for each one to come to Him and to realize that everyone is intrinsically God. The best way to experience consciously one's innate nature as the Infinite Reality is to harken to the Avatar's Call: "Come All unto Me."

4

The Awakener, Vol. III, No. 4 (Summer-Spring, 1956), pp. 34-35.

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR Sidelights of the Darshan Day Thousands of people visited Wadia Park for Meher Baba's darshan. All but a few of them received prasad from Baba's hands. However, the opportunity to be in the Avatar's physical presence had bestowed His blessing of unconditional compassion on all of them, and planted seeds of love in their hearts to sprout and eventually blossom at the appropriate time. Many of Baba's lovers experience His omniscience and omnipresence in a variety of ways. So, in concluding the account of this great event, I would like to record a few of these personal accounts. They express some of Baba's incredible methods, and speak for themselves of His love and care for those who came to meet Him. Although this darshan program was mainly for the people of Ahmednagar district, a few groups of Baba lovers from different parts of India, and one from Pakistan, had also come. Rhoda Dubash of Karachi, Pakistan, reached Wadia Park early in the day, but it was not easy for her to find a place near the dais where Baba was seated. The memories of her meeting with Him in Satara in August were fresh in her heart, and she wished to catch His eye and send Him a silent message of love and dedication. But this did not seem possible in that big crowd. Soon it was time to queue up for Baba's darshan. "Now," she thought, "I will surely catch Baba's glance." However, as she came closer and closer in the queue, Baba was always busy looking the other way. When it was her turn for darshan, she looked up expectantly at Baba, only to find that He was asking the next person in line how she was! Before Rhoda knew it, her time before Baba was over. However, she was still determined to capture His attention, if only for a moment. So she managed to go up onto the stage platform where Baba was sitting, but there was hardly enough room even to stand. At one point, she heard someone say, "This platform may collapse any minute. Let's get down." But Rhoda remained determined. She fought her way towards Baba and eventually found a place right behind Him, and silently implored Him to

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN look her way. He did turn, but only to caress the face of someone on her right . . . to pat someone on her left . . . to ask a question of someone behind her. But for Rhoda, it seemed as though she did not exist for Him. She felt deeply upset. She couldn't believe that her Beloved Avatar, who only a few days earlier in Satara had showered her with so much love, was now totally ignoring her. She did not know then that this was one of Baba's ways of awakening one's heart to be more receptive to His love. In the late 1930s, Baba conveyed to one of His dear American disciples, Jean Adriel, the author of Avatar, "It is My way of working — I draw you to Me, and I push you away, then I draw you closer and push you farther away, until, at last, I draw you so close that you become one with Me forever." In fact, this happened literally in Jean's relationship with Beloved Baba. Without Rhoda's realizing it, she had been given a little taste of this method that day. In His masterly way, the Divine Beloved, Baba, was showing Rhoda that her adolescent love must grow and give way to a mature, selfless love. In Baba's words: "Love does not need recognition at every step. It has to burn silently in the heart ..." Rhoda's love was initiated into a new phase that day. Another story, revealing yet another aspect of the Avatar's relationship with His lovers, involves a man named Shiwaji Chinchawade. As a teenager, Shiwaji had caught the habit of repeating the name of God as "Malhar." He would become so absorbed in this practice that in the bliss of repetition he would sometimes lose awareness of his gross surroundings. The name Malhar seemed to flow out of his being with every beat of his heart. While still a young man, he married and got a job with the Indian railways. In his thirties, he began to read the writings of the saints and Sadgurus of Maharashtra. From this he gathered that although the repetition of God's name was beneficial in itself, it would not reach its real fructification unless it were given to him personally by a master or saint. In 1947 he was sent for some special training to Bina, a railway junction in the north of India. His spiritual search

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR continued. As his family was not with him, he was able to devote his evening to his spiritual practice, repeating the divine name Malhar. At the same time, he began to visit various sadhus on the outskirts of town. God always responds to the yearning of the heart, and Shiwaji was led to meet a Sikh sadhu whose quiet, contented presence impressed him very much. This sadhu stayed mostly by himself in a small hut, remembering God. Shiwaji asked him to initiate him in the spiritual path with a guru-mantra. The sadhu agreed, giving Shiwaji a long mantra consisting of several sentences, the same one that the sadhu himself was repeating. Shiwaji was delighted. His job training was completed in a few months, and he returned to Maharashtra. He devotedly continued repeating the sacred mantra. However, he began to feel somewhat confused — the mantra given to him was not in Hindi, but in Gurumukhi (a dialect of the Sikhs). He could hardly make sense out of it. Although he diligently maintained his spiritual discipline, he felt more and more dissatisfied. He even thought of visiting his master in Bina, but before he could contact him, he heard that the sadhu had passed away. "How can I resolve this conflict now?" he wondered. About this time he was transferred to the Ahmednagar railway station as an assistant stationmaster. In the early 1950s Shiwaj had the good fortune to hear about Meher Baba and to have His darshan. This had a great impact on him; his heart was filled with joy at Baba's touch. Feeling the love and truth of Baba's divine authority, he began to bring Baba's form before his mind's eye while repeating the mantra. Still, his inner conflict continued: his life-long affection for God's name as Malhar, his respect for his guru, and now his awakened love for Meher Baba — these elements of his inner life were difficult for him to resolve. At last, in July 1954, he wrote to Baba in Satara, telling Him the story of his spiritual struggle. "I take this letter-writing to You as a divine opportunity to open my heart," he wrote. "My master really loved me. And I have great respect for him. So, even after his passing away, I wish to please him and follow his

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN directives. Nowadays, while I repeat the mantra I feel that my master is inwardly directing me to approach You. You are beyond names and forms. Even so, I request You to give me the name that will lead me to God." This is in keeping with an Indian tradition. Shiwaji assured Baba that after receiving His reply, he would repeat and write that Name until Baba's darshan in September. The Avatar is above all traditions, and His name encompasses all the divine names. So Baba had His own unique way of replying. He conveyed through one of the mandali that he was pleased with Shiwaji's letter, and instructed Shiwaji to speak aloud wholeheartedly the name Malhar when standing before Baba for His darshan on September 12, in Wadia Park. It was implied that this would resolve his dilemma and clear the way to God within. And so, on September 12, when Shiwaji humbly stood before Baba, he spoke aloud his favorite name of God from childhood, Malhar. From that moment, the restlessness of Shiwaji's spirit was over. His repetition of God's name now had the Avatar's sanction. Baba in His compassion took that name unto Himself as a way for Shiwaji to come to Him. With the confusion in his mind and heart erased, Shiwaji returned to his daily life, carrying with him the certainty that his inner contact with Baba would not be interrupted by the normal course of his external life — his job, his family responsibilities, even his love of playing cricket. The natural repetition of the divine name, Malhar, flowed through everything and carried with it Baba's love. Another incident reveals Baba's love and concern for His lovers. Bapi Raju had heard that Baba was going to give darshan in Ahmednagar on September 12. Though he was not in a financially sound position, he decided that this was an opportunity he could not afford to miss, and left his hometown with his entire family so they could be in the physical sahavas of the Avatar. To reach Ahmednagar, they had undergone a strenuous railway journey of twenty-four hours in a crowded compartment. However, any discomfort or inconvenience encountered during an individual's visit to the Avatar is richly rewarded

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR by the All-knowing One, Who sees to every detail of His dear ones' coming to see Him. They arrived in Ahmednagar on the morning of the 12th. By the time the family reached Wadia Park, there were already hundreds of people waiting in the queue for Baba's darshan. There was also a huge crowd sitting on the ground before the dais where Baba was seated. The family sat at the back of the crowd until noon, when Baba, spotting them in that vast multitude, sent for them to be brought to the dais. They were led outside the awning, around the edge of the crowd, and up to the platform where Baba was seated. Bapi Raju was so overwhelmed at this unexpected attention that he wasn't aware of anything that happened around him. Later, his wife told him that Baba took his solar topee (pith helmet) and put it on His own head at a rakish angle, which made the darshan crowd laugh. With His delightful sense of humor, Baba would sometimes express His intimacy and love through such unexpected "pranks." Baba instructed this family to visit Meherabad that evening for the dhuni. (Ever since December 12, 1941, the dhuni is lit on the twelfth of each month, by Baba's order.) At seven in the evening, the dhuni was lighted, and the family was ready to leave Meherabad. But in those days there were no regular buses into town. It was getting dark and chilly. There was no one around to ask for help, and their one-year-old infant was beginning to shiver. Bapi Raju prayed to Baba to help them out of this predicament. Just then, to his surprise and delight, an empty van coming from Arangaon stopped right next to them! The driver was a kind person, who, seeing the family gathered near the dhuni, must have guessed that they had come for Avatar Meher Baba's darshan and were now stranded. And so, without being flagged down, he stopped and lovingly invited the family to climb in. He drove them to Wadia Park without even asking where they were going. Their hotel was nearby, so the family was able to collect their baggage and reach the station in time for their train to Andhra. All along the way, until they reached Tadepalligudem,

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN they experienced "coincidences" which convinced them that Baba was seeing directly to their comforts during the entire Journey. I have observed, personally, that whenever the Avatar wishes someone to visit Him, the journey is invariably filled with incredible happenings. These coincidences can only be attributed to His effortless omniscience, compassion, and humor. This remains true, to an even greater degree, to this day. Another story of a Baba lover who was destined to meet Baba for the first time on this day is about Bhanudas Gawade. He had been longing for Baba's darshan for eleven years. In 1943, before he had heard of Baba, Banudas was working as a primary teacher in the interior part of the Sholapur district in Maharashtra. He taught in a one-room school house which served the first through fourth standards (grades). In addition to his teaching in the mornings, he would spend his weekends tending his family's ancestral farm some miles away. December to January is the harvest season, and the end of January found Bhanudas at the farm over the weekend, as usual. However, on this particular weekend he was unable to complete the harvest work, and so decided to spend Monday, January 31, on the farm as well. He returned to his work at the school the next morning. Now it was customary according to the departmental rules that at the end of every month each teacher had to submit certain forms to the District Office concerning the attendance of the pupils, the lessons taught during the month, etc. Although he had been absent on the 31st, Bhanudas filled out the form for that day as though he had been present. And, without giving it much thought, he mailed the report off to the District Office. The next day he learned in the village that the section inspector had been to the school the previous day, January 31, and had noted that Bhanudas was absent from his duties. The inspector had told the villagers that he was going to report the matter to the District Officer. Bhanudas was very troubled when he heard this. He knew

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR that this was grounds for suspension or even dismissal, and if he lost his job he didn't know how he would be able to support his family. So he went to the headmaster of a nearby school and asked his advice. Bhanudas knew that the District Officer was a good man, but also a strict disciplinarian, so he feared the worst. When Bhanudas shared his deep concern, the headmaster replied, "Don't worry. I know what you should do. It is really very simple and easy." "What?" asked Bhanudas eagerly. "Go to the District Office with a friend and wait outside until the officer arrives in a horse cab. When he gets down, you ask your friend, 'Do you know anything about Meher Baba?' Ask this in a very loud voice so that the officer hears you. Your problem will be solved!" Bhanudas shook his head in disbelief. "I can't imagine how this will solve my problem! And who is Meher Baba?" "What have you to do with that? I personally do not know anything about this Baba, but I do know that asking this question about Meher Baba works. He may even offer you a cup of tea!" It was Bhanudas’ only resort, so the next day he took a friend with him to Sholapur. They went to the District Office and stood under a tree near the gate and waited for the officer to arrive. After a while he appeared, and as he passed, Bhanudas asked his friend in a loud voice, "Do you know anything about Meher Baba?" Instantly the officer stopped and came over to him. "Are you asking who is Meher Baba?" he inquired. "Yes," Bhanudas replied. "Come with me. I will tell you." He led Bhanudas to his office, opened the door for him, and beckoned him inside. "So you want to know about Meher Baba. Good." The officer's enthusiasm and friendliness were too much for Bhanudas, who was aware that he was there under a false pretense. If this were discovered, it might make his case worse. So, before taking his seat, he confessed his real reason for coming. The officer waved this aside as if it wasn't very

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN important. He called for one of his clerks to get the file of monthly reports and said, "Don't worry. If what you wrote wasn't accurate, don't do it again. Be honest in your duties. Fill out a new form and sign it." And he concluded, "I am happy that you want to know about Meher Baba." The officer most lovingly shared some events from Baba's divine life expressing His compassion for one and all. He also gave Bhanudas a pamphlet with Baba's picture. The name of this officer was R. K. Gadekar. He was one of Baba's close disciples. In his one-pointed, innocent devotion, he was always eager to speak of Baba, and had also composed many songs on Baba's divinity. Bhanudas was completely taken aback by all this. He thought, "What must Meher Baba be like, if the mere mention of His name produces such an outpouring of devotion on the part of this officer. If His name alone can do that, what must He be like personally?" Bhanudas went home happy that his job was secure, but was deeply intrigued and touched by the magic of Meher Baba's name. Soon after this, however, the District Officer was transferred to Poona, and there was no chance to find out more about Baba. Still, his earnest longing to know more about Baba was responded to. By chance, a few months later, one of his friends sent him a book on Meher Baba. After reading it, Bhanudas felt in his heart that Baba was a Sadguru — a God-realized Master. Now his desire to have Baba's darshan was kindled. For the next eleven years a restlessness consumed him with the thought, "When will I get the opportunity to see Meher Baba in person?" To know that such a great Sadguru was alive and yet not be able to see Him made Bhanudas' longing all the more acute. Then, one day in 1954, he happened to notice in a newspaper that Avatar Meher Baba was giving darshan to the public in Ahmednagar. Noting the date, Bhanudas made up his mind to go. On September 11, he took a bus from his village to reach a small railway station to catch the train for Ahmednagar. As it turned out, his bus was delayed, and he reached the station

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR just as the train was pulling away. There were no other passenger trains that day, and Bhanudas stood there, devastated by this lost opportunity. Just then a lorry stopped, and the driver called to him, asking where he was going. When he heard Bhanudas was trying to reach Ahmednagar, he replied, "I'm going there, too. Get in, and we'll go together." Bhanudas was amazed by this, especially because he was standing on the highway leading to Poona, not to Ahmednagar. He had not thought of catching a ride with a lorry, and had made no signal for the driver to stop. Delighted, Bhanudas climbed into the truck, and when he told the driver that he wanted to attend the darshan program the next day, the driver said, "I am also going for Baba's darshan." How marvelous are Baba's ways! By evening the truck reached Wadia Park. When Bhanudas offered to pay for his ride, the driver answered, "You'll see me tomorrow; if you like, you can pay me then." The next day Bhanudas reached the darshan site. Baba had not arrived yet, but bhajans were being sung. From the songs Bhanudas got the impression that soon Lord Vishnu, who had assumed human form as Meher Baba, would come and occupy the seat on the dais. Shortly after this, Baba arrived, and Bhanudas saw Him from a distance and became lost in wonder, awe, and spontaneous devotion, as it appeared to Him that Baba was indeed the Lord Vishnu who had been hailed in the bhajans. Later, he related, "I became lost to myself. In fact, I have no words to say what happened to me then." For a while he waited for his friend who had driven him to Wadia Park. But, after an hour or so, not finding him, he decided to join the darshan queue. When he reached Baba's seat and bowed down to Him, he silently said, "O Lord Baba, I offer You my body, mind, and heart." And when Baba gave him some prasad, he felt that Baba had granted his prayer, and that he had received the most precious gift of lifetimes. It was as though his old life had reached its end, and he was beginning a new life — a new life of spiritual relationship with Meher Baba, the One residing in his heart. Bhanudas never saw the lorry driver again. Who could he

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN have been? Most lively and humorous are the ways of the Avatar. He is God-become-Man who assumes a human form for people from all walks of life. The incidents through which He draws His dear ones to Him are sometimes sublime, and sometimes also mischievous. In the case of Bhanudas Gawade, Baba used a wonderful excuse — the filling out of a false report — to get in touch with His disciple, and finally, get him into the net of His real, unbinding Love. To give a further idea of how encompassing the effect of Baba's darshan was, I would like to end this collection of sidelights with the story of a person who just happened to be one among the crowd. This particular incident involves an informal gesture that Baba made to a man named V. Burgul. He was working in the State Transport Corporation in Ahmednagar. He was not a Baba follower at the time, nor is he today. However, having been raised in a religious family, he decided to have Meher Baba's darshan on September 12. He stood in line for hours to reach Baba. When at last he was before Baba, in spite of the busy crowd all around, Baba gave Burgul a look of recognition and gestured, "I've known you since you were a child." Somehow Burgul was able to interpret Baba's gestures, and was deeply affected. As he was returning home he suddenly recollected that, when he was young, his parents had frequently told him, "You are very fortunate; you have been blessed by Meher Baba." The story connected with this is as follows. Burgul was an only child, all of his siblings having died in infancy, much to the distress and concern of his parents. His mother had gone from saint to saint, and from temple to temple, praying for children who would survive. In the mid-'20s, hearing of Meher Baba, she wrapped her two-year-old son, Burgul, in a cloth, slung him from her back as was the custom in those days, and walked the four miles from her home to Meherabad. There she made her wish known to Baba, who gave her prasad, both for herself and for her child. He also gave her a small shirt for Burgul, telling her to have him wear it as long as possible. After this, the family visited Baba on a regular basis for

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THOUSANDS FLOCK FOR THE AVATAR'S DARSHAN IN AHMEDNAGAR some time, until He moved to Toka. With the new phase in Baba's work, the family lost contact with Him. Burgul had forgotten about all of this; it was just one of many vague childhood memories. Once, in the late '80s, he casually shared this story with one of his co-workers, a Baba lover, who is a friend of mine. I was deeply touched by it, and decided to include it here. Isn't this astonishing! It reminds me of what Baba conveyed to one of His Western lovers when they met for the first time after many years: "I never forget; I never leave." Baba's gesture to Burgul shows clearly how total the Avatar's contact is with each person. Every individual is an open book to Him. The Avatar's darshan, even in a dream, is a blessing for lifetimes; it is a quantum leap, unbeknownst to the person concerned, wherein Infinity in human form touches the finite self. The Avatar never forgets; the link with Him is everlasting; the light of darshan glows and gradually intensifies within the individual's heart. Thus ends this account of the glorious darshan in Wadia Park, although the wealth of moving and personal stories of that day is no doubt endless. From nine in the morning until six in the evening, Beloved Baba poured out the cooling showers of His love continuously on the thirsty multitude. And although Baba contacted thousands of people for only a few seconds each during this great darshan, that momentary contact held enormous spiritual significance for each one. Jalaluddin Rumi, a matchless poet and Master, wrote, "One moment in the presence of a Perfect Master is equivalent to a hundred years of sincere penance and prayer." How much more fortunate were those who basked in the presence of the Avatar! And in this special "Avataric period" the opportunity to be in the living presence of the Master of Masters is available to anyone, every day, in their hearts, and especially at Meher Baba's Samadhi in Meherabad.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP 1954 ~ PART XVII Western Men's Sahavas Begins In response to the invitation from Meher Baba, twenty of His dear Western men arrived in Ahmednagar in September. Among them were Will Backett and Charles Purdom from England, Darwin Shaw and Malcolm Schloss from America, and Francis Brabazon from Australia. They had come to spend several weeks in Baba's company, a brief visit with the Timeless One, which they came to remember fondly as "Three Incredible Weeks." In His everthoughtful manner, Baba had arranged every detail concerning their health and comfort. An upper story and a tower had been added to the water tank at Meherabad in 1938. The building was now converted into a dormitory for the Westerners. Sarosh Irani was in charge of the overall arrangements; his wife, Villoo, was responsible for planning and preparing their meals; and Dr. Donkin looked after their health. Savak Kotwal stayed at the retreat, and would get up very early in the morning to make sure that everything ran smoothly. Most of the men had arrived in time to attend the large darshan program in Wadia Park on September 12. Two days later, on the morning of the 14th, they eagerly awaited Baba's arrival on Meherabad Hill. It was in such a surcharged atmosphere of love that their real sahavas with Baba began. When Baba arrived, He lovingly embraced each of the men, and then spelled out on His alphabet board, "I want you to be completely natural and absolutely frank." The men were sent to fetch their sun hats, and then Baba led them on a tour of Meherabad. He took them first to the place which He had prepared to be His future Tomb, the "Final Resting Place," as He sometimes referred to it. He told them about His seclusion in the crypt in 1927-28. Then He showed them the beautiful

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP murals that had been painted on the interior walls of the Tomb by Helen Dahm of Switzerland. Will Backett, the oldest of the group, whom Baba used to call one of His "archangels," described his impression of the Tomb as follows: At each of the four corners of the domed roof is a symbol of a great world religion — a cross for Christianity, a crescent for Mohammedanism, a flame for Zoroastrianism, and a temple-dome for Hinduism; Baba has come to put new life into each religion. Under the wonderful Indian sky this beautiful snow-white building, bearing the inscription over the door, "Mastery in Servitude," might seem to have descended from Heaven itself to witness the triumph of Divine Love on earth. Then, setting off with His brisk and graceful stride, Baba led them down the hill to Lower Meherabad, where some of His men disciples stayed. As they reached there, a private bus arrived, bringing fourteen women disciples of Upasni Maharaj from his Ashram in Sakori. With them was Godavri Mai, who, until her death in 1990, was in charge of Upasni's Ashram. One by one, Godavri and the other women paid their homage to Beloved Baba by placing their foreheads on His feet. Speaking to all of the group through Eruch, Baba stated, "I am the One Reality." 1 With this combined group of Western men and Eastern women, Baba continued the tour of Meherabad. He showed them the small, low wooden cabin known as the Table House, where, during months of seclusion beginning in 1925, He started writing the still unpublished "Book." He also pointed out the site of the dhuni (sacred fire), which was in front of the cabin. The dhuni had been lit there for the first time under Baba's order in 1927. Leading the entire group back up the hill, Baba showed the women His future Tomb and a few other places of interest. After this, He sent them back to Sakori, saying that He would come there one day soon with the Western men. Below the dormitory where the Western men were staying,

1

Three Incredible Weeks with Meher Baba, p. 20.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN a lounge had been prepared in the room that is now the museum. Baba led the men inside, reminding them again to be perfectly natural and frank with Him. He gestured, "I am your Master, but I am also your Friend. I am one of you, and one with you." Thus, Baba gave them His assurance that the Infinite One is also the most Intimate One. With reference to His Divine status of Oneness with everyone and everything, Baba continued, "I am one with you on every level, but you know this only when the ego and intellect do not interfere. I am what I am, whether the world bows down to Me, or whether it turns against Me; it does not matter. It is no one's fault." 2 Baba wanted the men to be with Him every day from nine in the morning until midday. He told them that He would explain some spiritual points in the coming days. He concluded: "Before I met My Beloved in Union, I lost everything — ego, mind, and lower consciousness, but thank God, I did not lose My sense of humor. That is why I appear amongst you ... on your level ... When I am with sadhus, no one is more serious than I am. When I am with children, I play marbles with them. I am in all, and one with all. That is why I can automatically adapt Myself to all kinds of people and meet them where they are." 3 Baba devoted the following day to having personal interviews with the men at Meherabad. Thursday, the 16th, brought the men to Meherazad. Baba looked happy upon meeting His dear ones, and introduced them to some of His men mandali: Kaikobad, Kaka Baria, and Gustadji. Then He showed them around the grounds of Meherazad, taking them first to a room that had been constructed out of two asbestos cabins used by Baba during the Manonash period of the New Life. From there, He led them through the beautiful garden, where they met Rano and Dr. Goher. In the main house, Baba guided them through the various rooms, including His own bedroom on the upper floor, which He used until some days after His second auto accident in 1956. Leaving the Meherazad compound, Baba took them across the open countryside and up the slope of Seclusion Hill. Reaching the top, He pointed out where the two asbestos cabins had

2 3

Ibid., p. 23 Ibid., pp. 25-26, 27.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP originally stood. When they returned below, a refreshment of fruit juice was served on the veranda of the house. Then came what was perhaps the most moving event of the day: one of the women mandali emerged from the house with a bundle carefully wrapped in a shawl. On opening the bundle, the men viewed the old patched coat, the kamli coat, that Baba had worn so often for about eight years, from 1921. Baba told them that this was a sacred possession to Him. He also showed them the sadra and sandals He had worn with that coat. Before embracing the men and sending them back to Meherabad, He conveyed to them: "So what would be best would be for you to play with Baba's Love from now on ... What I would like, in short, is for you to take Me with you when you go back." This message — to carry Baba in one's heart, which is His home — applies even to this day for any pilgrim visiting Meherabad or Meherazad. By the way, on the same day, September 16, Kalemama, one of the early Meherabad mandali, passed away peacefully at Meherabad. He was born into a well-educated and wealthy family with seemingly everything that life could offer. However, he was drawn into Baba's orbit through his contacts with Narayan Maharaj and Sai Baba. He had at first felt reluctant to follow a guru, fearing his inability to render total obedience. But when he met Baba at Meherabad in 1926, he was transformed by the divine, forgiving Love that shone from Baba's eyes, and he surrendered to Him. By the late'20s, Kalemama and his wife and son were part of the Meherabad family. In his capacity as a civil engineer, he designed and supervised the construction of various buildings at Meherabad, including Mandali Hall. His life was dedicated to the service of his Beloved Master, Meher Baba, until his last breath. On the following day, the 17th, Baba arrived twenty minutes after nine. He apologized for being late, then conveyed: "On very special occasions, I hold prayer meetings with a few of My most intimate disciples. Today I shall hold one of these meetings so that you all may be included." All went down the hill to Mandali Hall. Baba ordered that the doors and windows be closed. Then Zoroastrian, Moslem,

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Hindu, and Christian prayers were offered. After this was done, Donkin stood beside Baba, facing Baba's portrait. He read the following prelude: O the Eternally Benevolent Paramatma! O All-Merciful Allah! O the Most Merciful God Almighty! O Giver of all boons, Yazdan! Being fully aware of Your absolute Independence and Your absolute Indifference, Baba, with all humbleness, implores You, O Merciful God, to accept the Prayer of Repentance from Him on behalf of all His lovers and on behalf of all who are worthy of being forgiven. 4 The Prayer of Repentance, which Baba had given in 1952, was recited. This prayer, along with the Parvardigar Prayer, was specially dictated by Baba, and they are two of His gifts to humanity. At the conclusion of the prayers, Baba gestured for the doors and windows to be opened. The men seated themselves on the floor, and He spelled out on the alphabet board, "Today, you have joined God praying to God. I and God are One." After this, the group went back up the hill to the lounge, and Baba showed them the paintings done by Rano. He asked them to think exclusively of Him for half an hour every day, for seven days. He added, "If you find you cannot do that, then just look at My picture and mentally repeat "Ba-ba." If your thoughts bother you, don't be concerned; let them come and go, but try your best to keep Baba's figure clearly in your mind's eye." These instructions may also be pointers for those today who wish to feel His presence. Repeating His name, or reading some of His words on a daily basis, should not be considered rituals. In fact, such remembrance of the Awakened One awakens in our hearts a delightful and close companionship with Him. It seems ironic that some people express concern that their regular remembrance of God might become a ritual, and yet they blindly accept without complaint their regular remembrance of worldly pleasures and routines as most natural.

4

Ibid., p. 43.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP The day ended with Baba conveying: "A form of Zoroastrian prayer is called Kusti. All the four prayers say the same thing. Since Babajan kissed Me on the forehead, I bow down to My own Self. Why?" Someone responded, "Because there is nothing else to bow down to." Baba continued: "That is My actual, continual experience. What is needed is to become, not only to see. You have to become what you already are. You are God, but you have to know how to become God; and Christ humiliated Himself, God Himself crucified Himself, to teach this; through love, become what you already are." 5 Baba had stated earlier that day, "Christ and His inner circle and the Christian mystics all stressed purity of heart. Mohammed and His imams also stressed purity of heart." 6 Thus ended Friday the 17th. On Saturday morning, as Baba arrived on Meherabad Hill from Meherazad, He greeted each of His dear ones with a warm handshake. Meherjee and Eruch were accompanying Him. Meherjee carried a phonograph and some records. The group assembled in the lounge. Baba was in a mood to give a discourse. Using His board, He explained the different types of samadhis, including Sahaj Samadhi, which is experienced by the Sadgurus. He concluded, "Tomorrow, if you remind Me — I don't promise — I will tell you how, when thinking of Me, you can still do everything you need to do in the world. This is not Sahaj Samadhi, but Sahaj Dhyan." 7 Baba also told the group that on the following day they would listen to Indian music, but for now they were to listen to English recordings. Records of Marian Anderson, Fritz Kreisler, Richard Crooks, and Yma Sumac were played. One of Yma Sumac's songs had the verse (translated): "I love only Thee; I worship only Thee; to Thee alone I surrender the key of my treasure." Baba responded to this, "He who could do this would know Me." While the music session was in progress, Baba was handed a small card that read: "If I could see You only for a moment, I would be eternally grateful." The card had come from a

5

Ibid., p. 53. Ibid., p. 45. 7 Ibid., p. 55. 6

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Japanese gentleman named K. Hitaker of Tokyo. He was ushered in, and very devotedly prostrated himself before Baba. Baba bade him to rise and conveyed through gestures, "Generally I don't allow people to come up on the Hill." But gazing at Hitaker with love, Baba offered him His own grapefruit juice to drink, and conveyed, "You have come far, drink it all." Later Baba asked him, "Why did you come such a long distance? Baba is everywhere." Hitaker replied, "I would like to invite You to Japan." Baba replied with a smile, "After seven hundred years!" I would like to mention here that, from the early '50s onward, whenever any of His lovers requested Him to visit their town, village, or house, Baba would usually reply, with a charming gesture, "After seven hundred years!" Baba instructed Hitaker to return to Meherabad on the 28th to attend the special meeting, and he left that same day for Calcutta to get his visa extended. On the following day, Sunday, September 19, Baba explained to his Western lovers about the planes of consciousness, and then stated, "I am with you all the time, but you do not pay attention [to Me]. How to pay attention, I may explain another time." This may have been a hint to the Westerners to remind Baba about the topic of sahaj dbyan, but, being absorbed in His presence, no one seemed to remember. So they listened to Indian music. Baba translated some of the Urdu lines from the ghazals: Remember, one who really loves God, God annihilates him, God mixes him with the dust. O lover, beware. God tests you by being cruel, by giving you false hopes, even by cutting you to pieces.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP God says, O lover of mine, if you want to enter My lane first let your head roll under My feet and be kicked by Me as a ball! What an astoundingly concealed expression of God's compassion! Some refer to this aspect of God's love as shamma-e-jalal (the flame of God's glorification). All listened to Baba with rapt attention. After lunch, Baba called some of the group to Him to discuss certain things in connection with His work in the West. Then He left for Meherazad, a little earlier than usual. Sakori and Sahaj Dhyan During Baba's darshan on September 12, He had mentioned to Godavri Mai that He would visit Sakori soon, and later fixed the date for September 20. On that day He went there accompanied by His Western followers who were staying at Meherabad, as well as some of His men mandali. They reached Sakori around ten in the morning. Baba received a royal welcome. A brass band escorted Him from the outskirts of the village to the Ashram. Godavri Mai and the kanyas garlanded Him and performed His arti. Baba later conveyed to the group, "How Godavri loves Me, and what a virgin she is! I call her Yashoda — the foster mother of Krishna. She is one of the most lovable beings." The group then moved on to Upasni Maharaj's Samadhi. Baba took His seat and, pointing to the statue of Maharaj in the pinjra, dictated from His alphabet board, "This old man was Godincarnate. During My last visit here [March 1954], I had told the gathering that I would not again step in Sakori. But later I remembered that Maharaj had once mentioned, 'Merwan will bring the Westerners here,' so to fulfill his wish I have come today."

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Baba then asked all the Westerners and the mandali to bow down to Maharaj's Samadhi, bowing first Himself. Darwin Shaw later related his recollection about this at a gathering in the United States. The gist of it, as I have gathered, is as follows: "My turn was coming up, and some of the Westerners were bowing down. I felt a bit uncomfortable bowing at the tomb. Instantly, with a smile, Baba responded to my dilemma by walking over to me. He put one of His hands on my forehead and the other on my back. As I bent down, I felt that I was bowing down to His hand, to which I could not object. How readily He jumped in and took care of my dilemma. He did the same thing to two or three others, so it was not conspicuous." Ludwig Dimpfl narrated his impression of the event in a different way. He wrote: "As we lined up in a queue, Baba had the first one in line kneel down and then place his forehead on the ground in front of Upasni Maharaj's grave. I could not help but wonder what my father would think if he could witness the scene. All his suspicions were justified. Here his son got mixed up with some heathen religion, and was now going through their pagan rites! My father's views were not, of course, my views. But it crossed my mind that I could take comfort that there was no way that my father could witness that scene. I came to the head of the line. Baba bade me kneel. He then held me gently by the back of the head as I lowered it to touch my forehead at the base of Maharaj's grave. Just as my forehead touched the ground, one of the westerners [and also a photographer from Ahmednagar] took a flash photo of that pose!" 8 Baba's joke! After a short private interview with Godavri Mai, Baba proceeded outside and seated Himself under a pipal tree, where He gave darshan to a gathering of men and women. Then refreshments were served to the visitors. Baba went to the quarters of the kanyas and visited a sick girl. He gave her rose petals to eat, assuring her that she need not feel disheartened — in fact, her illness gave her the opportunity to remember Maharaj and Baba. If she thought of them wholeheartedly, one day she would feel their intimate presence. Baba and the party left Sakori by midday as the band

8

How a Master Works, p. 191.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP played again. Villagers lined the road paying homage to Baba as He departed. The next morning, Tuesday, Baba appeared in a happy mood when He arrived at Meherabad. He wished to show His dear ones how to play marbles. But before this, He opened the subject of the previous day's visit to Sakori and told the group about His long stay at Sakori years before and His relationship with Maharaj. Then, very casually, He made a succinct but very profound statement about the "miracle of God": When Jesus said, "I and My Father are One," He meant He was God ... That is God's miracle and the miracle of Jesus. It meant that innumerable beings were created by Jesus who died according to His Will. Yet, it is supposed that Jesus' greatness is that He raised some few dead to life. How ridiculous that is unless given some hidden meaning! Many miracles are attributed to Me, but I do not perform miracles; I do not attach importance to miracles ... One miracle I will perform, and for that miracle time is nigh. I have said that My miracle will be not to raise the dead, but to make one dead to himself to live in God. I have repeatedly said I will not give sight to the blind, but I will make them [people] blind to the world in order to see God. 9 Nowadays, whenever I hear anyone say, "It's a miracle," it brings to my mind Baba's profound statement about the one Miracle of God, manifesting through the life of the Ancient One. Previously, I had not thought that the word "miracle," in its highest sense, meant what Baba has explained. It seems that the Whim (Lila) of God, which poured forth this infinite creation and which ultimately resulted in His assuming a perfect human form as the Avatar, is the only incomprehensible miracle! This is His divine triumph, as well as His crucifixion. Baba talked about the Master of Jesus, John the Baptist, and also about Upasni Maharaj. He then continued with His explanation about the higher planes of consciousness — the fifth through the seventh. After clarifying the various stages

9

Three Incredible Weeks with Meher Baba, p. 71.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN and states in these planes of consciousness, Baba remembered that He had promised to tell the group about sahaj dhyan. Dhyan means "meditation," or the one-pointed focusing of mind and/or heart. But it is difficult to give a literal translation of sahaj dhyan. In a way, sahaj dhyan is a natural, ongoing divine awareness, moving towards one's innate nature. Baba explained: When you remember Me, you are in sahaj dhyan. The question is how to remember Me. The easiest and surest way is to do as I tell you. It will be somewhat of a task at first, as when you start to run you feel it too much; but when you are in training, you feel it sahaj [natural]. At first you will have to do it deliberately, then it will be natural ... The first thing in the morning, as soon as you get up, before doing anything, think of Me for one second. Baba is then worn by your soul; early in the morning dress your soul with Baba. Do it honestly and you will feel He is with you. At 12 noon, for one second, think of Baba. Thirdly, at about 5 o'clock, for one second, think of Baba, then you can do what you have to. Fourthly, when you retire, think of Baba for a second. If you do it, I will be always with you, and you will feel My company. Do it for four seconds every day; then you will be in the world, yet Baba will be with you all the time. This is the beginning of sahaj dhyan. Spiritual treasures are revealed in one's heart when anyone wholeheartedly follows the guidelines given by a Perfect Master. However, on this particular day, the Avatar Himself, in one of His most lively moods, offered a most simple way to establish a link with Him. The seeker needs no special merit to take advantage of this benevolent Avataric offer. Try it, and you will know its worth. Baba ended the day's sahavas with the following words: "To sum up, we have to feel in our hearts that only God is real; that

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP He alone exists, that He is in us all, that He alone is to be loved; God and God alone." 10 And how fortunate was this small group, for Meher Baba the Avatar was explaining spiritual truths to them in a very appealing way. No wonder that these days were such a memorable period in the lives of those who stayed on Meherabad Hill. “The Last Drink” Baba looked tired when He arrived at Meherabad to be with the Western men on Wednesday. Still, He made loving inquiries about each one's health. When Will Backett said, "I am better today," Baba smiled and remarked, "Dear Will, I call you My Archangel, and you are very dear to Me, I love you too, but I cannot understand your saying every day, 'I am better today.’” Everyone had a hearty laugh. Baba gave a brief discourse on false identification through the mind, and the reality of God. He concluded: When you say "Self," "God," "Infinity," they mean nothing. To attempt to understand [God] by reading or hearing explanations is an insult to our Beloved God, Who is beyond all under-standing. The only answer is Love." Without going further into the subject, Baba added: Today, I wish to play marbles with you! I am so full of humor and so human that it is difficult even for the rishis and saints to know Me as I am ... It is My nature to be absolutely natural, even with Beloved God, Who is one with Me and I with Him. Before the group left for lunch, Baba declared: If you understand what I have just said, the solution to everything is in your hands. God is infinite honesty, and unless we love Him honestly, we cannot know Him. Though beyond understanding, the heart full of love can

10

Ibid., p. 78.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN understand the un-understandable. If you love God you become one with Him: that's the only thing. And you can love God. 11 On the 23rd, all of the Westerners had a nice, intimate visit with Baba. The following day, Friday the 24th, was especially important for each of them, because, as Baba conveyed, "This is the last day of My coming here. Today, we will drink together. This is not the Last Supper, but the Last Drink; and I am happy that at least from among you there is no one who will sell Me, though someone will have to do that job . . . I am the Ancient One, and you will all love Me more and more after My body is dropped . . . My ways are so unfathomable that sometimes I too cannot fathom them." By this time fruit drinks were brought to the lounge and the doors were closed, so that only the Westerners and Eruch remained with Baba in the room. There was a profound silence. Before the last drink was served, Baba told the group something most meaningful, signifying how the life of Christ, the Avatar, represents in each of His Advents the perfect blending and unfolding of God as God and God as man simultaneously. And "The Last Supper" seems to be the symbolic event revealing this truth. Baba began: Jesus, being God and omnipotent, allowed Himself to be helpless, humiliated, and crucified. He knew it all, because He had planned it all long ago, and He did it for all. But to have the right result He had to experience the helplessness and the suffering. Do not think that because He was All-powerful, He did not suffer the humiliation and crucifixion, or it would not then have had the desired effect. Some people think that because I am one with God, My body is not affected by anything. At times, so as not to hurt their feelings, I have to behave as though I do not feel cold or the sun . . . Now I feel fit, but I think I shall catch cold from you all! 12 Baba conveyed through the board and gestures, with Eruch

11 12

Ibid., p. 83. Ibid., pp. 89-90.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP interpreting, "For one minute close your eyes and ask God, Who is the innermost Self of us all, to help us to love Him honestly." Baba sipped from each of the glasses, which were then handed to every Westerner present in the lounge. In the end, He lovingly looked at them and gestured, "Drink slowly." When everyone had finished his drink, the doors were opened. What a blessed benediction was dispensed that day! Baba then moved the group to Lower Meherabad. For some time He sat in the hall where some Indian Baba lovers gathered around Him. They had come to help Pendu with the various arrangements to be made for the ensuing Meeting at the end of the month. Baba gestured for all to sit down. Then He asked one of His lovers from Andhra to recite some lines from the Bhagavad Gita. Baba had nicknamed this person "Baba Shastri" (a shastri is a Sanskrit scholar). After the recitation, Baba looked at him and commented, "While hearing you, I felt as if you were swimming in mid-ocean and attacked by sharks!" Looking at the others, He added, "Isn't it funny — I am in everyone, but I don't know Sanskrit; I was just nodding My head as if I knew!" Baba Shastri reverently folded his hands to Baba and mumbled, "Baba knows everything," as he sat down. Baba asked one of the mandali, Sidhu, to sing some ghazals. Baba explained a couplet which meant: "O Beloved, when I was drawn by the beauty of Your locks, I thought You were very near. But now I have walked all my life, until my feet are full of blisters, and the locks are yet far away." Baba concluded, "I am ever so near and yet so far!" Who could ever fathom the game of the Avatar's love, the game of the Divine Beloved? However, because of His compassion, the blisters are but the forerunners of the divine bliss with which He intends to fill the hearts of His dear ones. After half an hour or so, Baba left for the dhuni platform. He wound a white scarf over His forehead, and looked very fiery. The atmosphere was charged with His radiant presence. The dhuni was solemnly lit, and arti was also sung. Then a villager blew on an elephant horn. This signified that it was time for

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN all, including the Westerners, to start for a visit to the village. Baba was led in a procession through the small lanes and bylanes with a group of villagers playing lezims (hand instruments) in the front. Women and children sneaked through the crowd to touch Baba's feet. By six o'clock, Baba returned to Lower Meherabad. He gathered all the Westerners around Him in the hall and instructed them to take two Anacin pills as a precaution against malaria. Whenever there was any gathering, Baba's solicitude and care for the participants was most loving. He then embraced each of them and asked them to go up the hill to Meher Retreat and rest well. After a quick visit to the patients in the T.B. Sanatorium, Baba left for Meherazad. He did not visit Meherabad on the 25th, as He had some work connected with the darshan program in Ahmednagar to be held on the following day. The Little Darshan On September 12, at Wadia Park, Meher Baba had given His darshan to thousands of people from the villages and towns of Ahmednagar district. This was indeed a great and glorious event. However, a few days later, a number of local groups entreated Baba to give one more opportunity to the people of the city who had missed His darshan, owing to the size of the crowds. Beloved Baba lovingly granted their request. The day fixed was September 26, and this program came to be known as "The Little Darshan." Sarosh and Adi made arrangements for the function to be held in Khushroo Quarters, which has a large compound and a wide driveway that made it possible for people to come in for darshan and go out again in an orderly way. The house belonged to Adi K. Irani, Baba's secretary; his residence and office were both there. A low platform was set up on the patio in front of Adi's office, an awning was erected above it, and a sofa was placed there for Baba. The arrangement was simple yet elegant.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP On this day Baba arrived from Meherazad before 3:00 P.M.; the Westerners came early also, from Meherabad. Ben Hayman and Frank Hendricks had not been present on the 12th, so Baba asked them to sit on the platform by His side. As Baba was led to His chair, His eyes shone with quiet compassion. During any darshan His physical presence seemed to emanate a tender radiance. On this occasion, some individuals also noticed an expression of intense concern for those who were about to meet Him; sometimes the Avatar's impatience is obvious. People had already gathered outside the compound. At the scheduled time, 3:30 P.M., the gate was opened and the first batch of women was let in for darshan. A basket of prasad was kept near Baba, and He began to distribute it. Some people offered small packets of sweets or a piece of fruit to Baba before receiving prasad from Him. Some had flowers in their hands; a few held long garlands. It is an ancient custom in India that one should not visit the Master empty-handed. As people passed before Him, Baba patted or caressed some of the children who were among them. It was a moving and marvelous sight to see the smile of a child intermingled with that of the God-Man. Baba's Indian and Western followers were sitting on the ground to His left. At one point, He dictated to them, "No explanations or discourses can compare with this personal contact. I feel that I am in all, so it is Baba bowing down to Baba." People from various walks of life, belonging to different religions, were seen in the queue. Baba accepted the regards and love of each, and in return gave His love. During this program, Baba dictated a sentence which can serve as a key to anyone's relationship with Him: "Whatever anyone takes Me for, I am that." This assurance has been the compass guiding my life and relationship with the Ancient One. A little later Baba added, "I love all." This was a comforting corollary to His earlier statement. One poor woman who could not afford to purchase sweets or a fruit placed one paise (a coin of the lowest denomination) on

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Baba's foot. For whatever spiritual reasons known to Him alone, Baba had stopped touching money, unless He was giving it to the masts (God-intoxicated souls) or the poor. With this outwardly insignificant offering of a coin, Baba became extremely serious. He stood up with a distant look in His eyes. The darshan queue stopped temporarily. Some people sitting close by got up to see what had happened. For a time, Baba hardly moved. Then He slowly turned His foot so that the coin slid off. He covered it with gravel with His toes, and then continued to look at the spot in deep absorption. Then, very calmly, He brushed back His hair with His long, sensitive fingers, and gestured for the darshan to continue. The expression on His face was now as though nothing had happened. Incidents of this type in the life of Meher Baba, outwardly trivial, yet inwardly holding great significance, have bewildered many people. But for His followers, it is best not to try to guess the possible significance but to keep a discreet silence about such matters. Baba once enjoined, "Don't try to understand Me; My depth is unfathomable. Just love Me." The memory of this "Little Darshan" brings to my mind the lives of two people — one a well-educated person, the other a poor, illiterate woman. Both reaped the benefit of the Avatar's blessed darshan, but in two entirely different ways. Coincidentally, it is interesting that the results of their darshan were both disclosed to me after the passage of two decades, in the '70s. And it occurred to me that even though a person may be fortunate enough to have the Avatar's contact, the fructification of that contact takes place according to the Avatar's timing. His patience is immense, and the moment He chooses always has deep personal meaning for the individual concerned. The first incident: On this day, K. Narayana had Beloved Baba's darshan, when he was just a schoolboy. Afterwards, being intent on his studies, he forgot all about that blessed contact. Eventually he obtained a good job with the Indian railways, and, during his early service, completed his master's degree in Hindi. He came from a religious family and had

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP studied the Bhagavad Gita extensively. He was especially fond of the commentary on the Gita by Dnyaneshwar. Dnyaneshwar (1275-1296) was a unique Master, for he realized God before his teens. When he was twenty-one he expressed a wish to be buried alive by his elder brother, who was his Sadguru. In the short span of his life, he made a contribution to Marathi spiritual literature that remains unsurpassed to this day. In Maharashtra he is regarded as the "King of Masters." Because of his interest in the spiritual life, Narayana often visited one of his friends who happened to be a Baba lover. Together, they would read aloud the writings of the saints and Sadgurus of Maharashtra, and share their views. It was not until twenty years after Narayana's first darshan with Meher Baba that he noticed Baba's picture in his friend's house. I met him about this time. He was eager to hear more about the Avatar. I shared stories with him from Beloved Baba's life, and he felt very drawn to Him. Our discussions brought vividly before him the memory of his darshan of Baba when he was a child. His heart opened to Baba's love, and he felt intensely that he had missed a great opportunity by not remembering and following Baba after having had His darshan. He began to write poems and songs about Baba. One night, his feeling of having missed the divine opportunity was so poignant that he was hardly able to sleep. The following morning, a fellow worker (who was not a Baba lover but had seen Baba's picture) approached him in his office, and exclaimed, "You are so lucky!" "How is that?" "You had Meher Baba's darshan last night!" "What do you mean?" "I had a dream last night where I saw you placing your forehead on Meher Baba's feet. You are really fortunate. That's why I have come looking for you, to give you this auspicious news." Indeed, what a marvelous confirmation of his yearning. Baba's contacts in dreams have their own significance. In

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Narayana's case, if he himself had had this dream, he might have persuaded himself that it was only a projection of his wish. But by having another person experience the dream, Baba made it possible for Narayana to accept it as totally valid, and as a special gift from Him. And this conveyed to Narayana that Baba was fully aware of his yearning and had responded to it by giving him His darshan. From that time, Narayana glorified Meher Baba as the Avatar through his poems and songs with even greater conviction. The second incident: One day, in the mid '70s, a man visited the Avatar Meher Baba Trust Office. During his conversation with Eruch and Mani (I was also present), he related quite a fascinating story about receiving prasad from Meher Baba in the present Trust compound. It was ascertained that the episode occurred during the Little Darshan. The man explained that, when he was a child, his family was extremely poor, with his mother working hard at menial jobs. The money earned by his father was spent on liquor, as he was a chronic alcoholic. "When my mother heard about the chance of having Baba's darshan, she was hesitant to forgo the wages for that day. However, in the end, as wished by her neighbors, she decided to avail herself of the opportunity of Baba's darshan. In her simpleheartedness she felt that the darshan of a spiritually great personage like Meher Baba should help her improve her family life and even her financial condition. "So on that afternoon she got in the queue with her earnest prayers to Baba. After a long time she reached the platform. Baba was giving either fruit or some kind of sweets to the people as His prasad. My mother also received something. In the hurry of the moving queue and crowd she was pushed forward. Pressing the precious prasad in her hand, she passed through the compound gate. When she opened her hand, she was dumbfounded to find a roll of currency notes. She thought that everyone had been given money. With great joy she returned home, and with the financial help, she was able to provide the necessities for our family. "Not only that," the man concluded, "it was with this money that I later opened a new footwear shop which I still own here

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP in Ahmednagar." All who were present were greatly amazed to hear this story, especially Eruch. Eruch had been standing next to Baba during the entire darshan, and he knew that Baba had not distributed money on that day. As Eruch relates, "Then how could this strange prasad get into the woman's hand? I knew Baba did not give out money; that was not His way. I say I knew this, but then the thought struck me, 'How presumptuous it was for me, even after all these years, to say I knew Baba.' Baba was silent. He did His work in silence, and this silence was so great that even we who were physically next to Him were not aware of the work He was doing. So what was to prevent Baba's infinite compassion from transmuting the sweet He had given this woman into money? With God anything is possible. It is only our finite minds, our limited understanding that attempts to limit God's greatness." 13 Going back to the darshan, it continued up to 6:00 P.M., yet the queue seemed unending. By this time over two thousand people had had the chance to have Baba's touch and receive His prasad. Baba was outwardly giving His love and inwardly forgiving them for the failures in their journey to the One residing in their hearts. Sarosh asked Baba if He would like to remain for half an hour or more. Baba looked amused, but did not agree. He asked the Western group to leave for Meherabad. Baba was in a happy mood, and rode out through the compound gate on the roof of the car. As He passed through the crowds, He folded His hands to them, and they, in return, cheered, "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!" When the car reached the main road, Baba took His seat inside, and sped on to His residence at Meherazad. The Little Darshan was over. On the 27th, Baba was not scheduled to visit Meherabad. However, Mehera and some of the other women disciples suggested that it would be nice if Baba were to distribute some special presents, blessed with His own hand, to the Western group. Baba liked the idea, and drove to Meherabad in the morning. When He reached the Hill, not all of the Westerners were present to greet Him, as they had no idea of the surprise

13

The Ancient One, p. 231

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN awaiting them. Baba went to the lounge, and in a short time the entire group gathered there. They were very happy to learn the reason for Baba's visit. He distributed the presents and also some photographs of Himself with His signature. Everyone was thrilled by these unexpected gifts. Addressing the group, Baba dictated from the board, "To all you meet and see, give My love — the only thing worth receiving." To one individual He conveyed, "You must first absorb Me and feel that you love Me. To tell others what you don't feel yourself is hypocrisy. So feel, then speak with conviction." Baba embraced everyone from the group, filling each one's heart with joy. Thus ended the incredible sahavas on the Hill for the Westerners, with their Beloved Master, Meher Baba. Now they looked forward to the Meeting to be held on the 29th and 30th of September. Some Memories, Sublime and Sweet After this intimate sahavas, the Western group soon returned home. However, the significant and sweet memories of their close companionship with Meher Baba remained fresh in their minds and hearts. Later, some of these were shared with Baba's followers through talks and articles. Before I proceed to narrate the events of the momentous Meeting in which Meher Baba gave to the world His message entitled, "Final Declaration," I would like to digress momentarily to reproduce some of the heart-warming accounts from some of the Western group. With regard to Meher Baba's advent as the Avatar, Fred Marks from England wrote: "There is a general expectancy of a great happening. The end of the Age brings again the urge and longing for the One who will being Redemption and save humanity from the abyss into which it has fallen. To find this One is to knowingly feel that there is nothing more to be desired. It is the end of the quest. His name today is MEHER BABA. He offers Himself to us.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP Joseph Harb expressed his conviction in Baba's divine status, revealing a different facet of the same diamond. He wrote: "Divine consciousness is ever flowing through Him [Meher Baba], but with such delightful simplicity that it would not overwhelm a child, and yet it is beyond the deepest mind to fathom it. The vastness of His Divine Mind and Love are so scientific, with such intricate laws, and serious and great as He is, yet He couples all this with such humor that it produces joy in the heart and a perfect picture to the mind. The heart becomes the mind's eye to observe the perfect actions of the Perfect Master, which are subtle, silent, and yet so forceful. "The living Avatar is Self-Realized from Unconscious Divinity to Conscious Divinity; functioning in all planes of existence, with all the directness and accuracy in full harmony of Divine Law and Love: manifesting a dynamic force in all His activities: having the power of Eternal Truth. He is a complete blending of God and man states. This is Baba, 'The Highest of the High."' With reference to the delightful human side of the God-Man, Will Backett, one of Baba's early English disciples, recorded his impressions: "While at Meherabad, He [Baba] would sometimes give us fruit, one by one, or Himself serve each plate, as His prasad. On another occasion, He walked round the table to place both hands on our shoulders, and the gentle firmness of His touch gave deep significance to that simple gesture. There was much laughter when He circumnavigated the long table to find where He could best tickle each one, joining in the fun Himself, for He likes us to be bright and happy always. "At the ping-pong table provided for our relaxation, He was a doughty opponent, with unique grace and speed. He also showed us a different game of marbles, awarding a prize to the winner and applauding his skill or luck, as part of the deeper game of Divine Love, which is the Master's real sport." Darwin Shaw, one of Meher Baba's American disciples who met Him for the first time in 1934 at the Shelton Hotel in New York City, was among the Western group who stayed on Meherabad Hill. In a talk he later gave at the Sufi Center in

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN San Francisco in 1967, he began, “This happened in 1954 when some seventeen Western men had the great privilege of being Baba’s guests at Meherabad ‘on the hill’ for three incredible weeks. “One day, as we were walking up the hill with Baba, from ‘Lower Meherabad’ to Meherabad ‘on the hill,’ I was deeply impressed with how similar this was to what it must have been like walking over the hills with Jesus. This is quite a statement to make. This is the twentieth century. You say, ‘This can’t happen!’ But when you are with Baba you see that it is happening. One of the passages from the New Testament crossed my mind. ‘You all say “Yes, Lord,” but you do not do the things I tell you.’ (This was my remembrance of Luke 6:46.) Baba, who was a few feet ahead and to the left of me, gave me a quick glance. I had also been greatly concerned about Baba dropping His body – He had told us that this might happen very soon – and I wondered what our relationship to Him would be after he did drop His body. “In a few minutes we were seated in the room where we gathered almost daily to spend a couple of hours with Baba. Baba was seated on a small sofa; I sat on the opposite side of the room. About sixteen other Western men were there too, in a large circle around Baba. Baba didn’t look at me as He began to ‘talk,’ by means of the alphabet board, about His physical end. He concluded by saying, ‘ . . . I am the Ancient One, and you will all love Me more and more after My body is dropped, and you will see Me as I really am . . .’ Then, out of the blue, He said, ‘You all say, “Yes, Baba,” but do not do.’ I was astonished, and thought, ‘How can you fathom this Being?’ Just as I thought this, Baba said, ‘My ways are so unfathomable that sometimes I too cannot fathom them’” 14 To illustrate how intimately Beloved Baba was present with each one of the group of Westerners staying at Meherabad, I would like to quote a section from How a Master Works, concerning the experience of Lud Dimpfl. This incident shows the humorous way that Baba let His lovers know that He knows their minds and hearts.

14

Talk at Sufism Reoriented Center, San Francisco 1967.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP Ludwig Dimpfl related that the former quarters of the women’s ashram at Meherabad had been converted to a dormitory and the western men were staying there, with only a sheet between the beds which could be drawn when necessary. The bed across the aisle from his had been assigned to Joseph Harb. When he needed to get something out of his suitcase, Joseph had the habit of placing it on Lud’s bed to open it, and not taking it back when he was through. Lud became so frustrated with this that on coming upstairs, he took the suitcase off of his bed and dumped its contents on Joseph’s bed. At that very moment, Baba’s car arrived and all the men hurried quickly to the downstairs hall for the daily meeting. Lud started down, but then bethought himself that probably he should not have been so provoked and rushed back for an instant to throw Joseph’s things back into the bag and put it under the bed. Seconds later as he descended the stairs and entered, he heard Baba conversing with Francis Brabazon (conveyed by board) to the effect: “Now Francis, if you get provoked at anyone, don’t empty their suitcase out on their bed.” Francis gazed blankly at the Master and replied, “Well, of course not, Baba.” Lud did not need anything more at that moment. 15 Another episode related by Ludwig is equally interesting: Baba sat on a couch opposite the doorway, and chairs were placed around the walls to make a sort of circle. We all sat down. The mandali had cigarettes and ashtrays set all around … Baba said, “Now, I want you all to be relaxed and comfortable. I want you to feel at home. If you feel like smoking, smoke. If you are thirsty, there is water here.” I had been trying to quit smoking, but right then, I wanted a cigarette. So I pulled my feet up under me and sat on my ankles on the upholstered chair. And I took a cigarette from a flat of fifty and lit up.

15

How a Master Works, p. 184-85.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Baba pointed to me. "I like that," He said. "You look really comfortable." The meeting lasted about two hours. Thereafter we adjourned for lunch and Baba left. After lunch Meherjee came up to me. He looked very worried and said, "I know Baba told you you could smoke, but you mustn't! Baba hates smoking. He never lets us smoke in His presence." I was very troubled by this. But the next day was devoted to private interviews. I had fifteen minutes to myself with Baba (and Eruch to read the alphabet board). So I asked Baba about this. "Baba, if you really don't like smoking, it's not so important to me that I wouldn't gladly give it up," I said. "Who told you not to smoke?" "Meherjee." "Why do you pay attention to what Meherjee says instead of to what I say?" This was, of course, the real answer to the question. But I still didn't realize that I was talking to God. I was mildly disappointed that Baba said to me, "If yon want to smoke, smoke," instead of solving my problem for me. So I made another try. "Baba, I know you want us to feel at home, but there's lots of other ways that I can feel at home. I really could stop smoking if it bothers you." Baba looked at Eruch. Eruch looked at Baba. They dissolved in laughter. 16 Perhaps Lud wanted Baba to give him an order not to smoke so the decision would not be his to make. This is only natural, but for the most part Baba prefers us to make such decisions on our own. The above incidents took place in Baba's physical presence. Even today many heart-warming experiences continue to happen to those who love Meher Baba, for they continue to feel Baba's unconditional love and compassion laced with His

16

Ibid., pp. 189-90.

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BABA GIVES SAHAVAS TO THE WESTERN GROUP sense of humor. These sparks of Baba's omnipresence and omniscience touch the hearts of His dear ones and assure them through various incredible ways — funny, sublime, simple, and complex — of His help in their everyday lives. Baba's sahavas is now ever available when we make Him our constant companion. Baba once lovingly conveyed to His dear ones, "Remember Me; I am always with you."

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD 1954 ~ PART XVIII Rains Withheld, Rains Released Whenever God assumes a human form as the Avatar, the universality of His life presents countless facets of His Love. Some of His actions are totally human, while others are completely divine. Both of these aspects touch the hearts of the people, awakening some of them "to live for God and die for God." But there are also some facets which present enormous contrasts, and hence appear paradoxical. These continue to puzzle humanity at large. Some portions of Meher Baba's message entitled "The Final Declaration," given at the Meeting held in September at Meherabad, might be viewed as being in the "incomprehensible" category. But before I narrate the various events that took place in regards to "The Final Declaration Meeting," a certain amount of background information seems necessary. On June 10, 1954, a Circular was mailed to Meher Baba's followers in India, informing them of a special Meeting that Baba had decided to hold at Meherabad on September 29-30, 1954. 1 This Meeting was only for men. Women and boys under sixteen were not allowed to attend. Baba had also mentioned that this Meeting would be the last sahavas before He dropped His physical body. Anyone who wished to attend this Meeting was asked to send an advance payment of twenty-two rupees as dakshana to Adi K. Irani, Meher Baba's secretary. This was to ensure lodging and boarding facilities during the Meeting. Owing to Baba's recent visits to Hamirpur and Andhra, a large number of Baba lovers wished to attend this Meeting. Many of His followers were from the working class and some were farmers and villagers. In those days it was not easy for them to obtain a week's leave of absence from work or to easily finance such a journey.

1

Life Circular, No. 18, June 10, 1954.

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD After learning the contents of the Circular, some of the women followers of Baba wondered amongst themselves why there had been the condition that only men were to attend the Meeting. Why should there be this distinction between men and women in attending the last sahavas? However, they also felt that whatever Baba decides is based on His own divine reasons. So some of the women chose to participate in the Meeting indirectly, by selling their jewelry to help their male family members and relatives to attend. In the poor district of Hamirpur, a tug-of-war was going on in the minds and hearts of Baba lovers trying to balance the financial and devotional aspects of their lives. Witnessing this struggle, Keshav Nigam was reminded of a message given by Baba at the beginning of the year, on January 26. This message reflected, to him, the predicament that Baba's dear ones were going through: Reality pulls you towards Itself, and illusion pulls you towards itself. If you let go the pull of Reality, you get drowned in the ocean of illusion. If you lean towards both, you get crushed. So, let go the pull of illusion, through Love, and become one with Reality. Baba's followers in the different states of India did their best to respond to His call, and about nine hundred men filled in the acceptance form, expressing their willingness to attend the Meeting. From the Hamirpur area nearly two hundred and fifty lovers decided to come. The arrangements for this great Meeting at Meherabad began in July. Pendu and Padri were in charge of the various departments. It was the rainy season, and July and August were quite wet. In the first week of September, on the 6th, Baba left Satara with his mandali for Meherazad. The following day, He visited Meherabad to check on the arrangements being made for His followers who were to arrive during the last week of the month. Pendu brought to Baba's notice that the rains were

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN threatening the work of erecting the necessary structures — the Meeting pandal (awning), the Lodging Tent, the toilets, baths, dining hall, etc. Nearly a thousand Indian Baba lovers were expected to attend the two-day Meeting on the 29th and 30th of September. Pendu put forth his concerns very forcefully, concluding, "If it continues to rain like this, especially at the time of the Meeting, the rainwater will drip, even pour, through the cloth roof of the large Lodging Tent. This will cause great inconvenience to the pilgrims, and where can we shift them?" He was not prepared to take any risks, and suggested that the Lodging Tent should have a roof of corrugated tin sheets. The site for the Tent and the Meeting pandal was located between the present public road and the railway tracks. Pendu's suggestion was going to cost considerably more money than had been budgeted: it was not possible for him to adjust this expenditure with the amount allocated to him by Baba. Some of the mandali were opposed to Pendu's proposal, but he was adamant. Pendu was a lovable but strong-willed individual. In view of his past experience and knowledge of such matters, Baba sanctioned the extra funding, and Pendu's eyes shone with delight. However, Baba also asked Pendu and those staying at Meherabad to offer sincere prayers to God for "no rains." They were asked to stand before Baba's picture in Mandali Hall at lower Meherabad and invoke God every day as directed by Baba, through September 26. On the first day, Baba Himself joined the group in imploring God for "no rains." At the end of this brief invocation, Baba, with a soft smile on His lips, conveyed to Pendu and Padri, "Maybe God will listen to your prayers." Pendu was also allowed to rent about a thousand wooden beds (charpais), cries-crossed with thin ropes in the Indian style. The large Lodging Tent, in which these hundreds of cots were placed, had long corridors for the over nine hundred pilgrims to move about. It had the appearance of an enormous dormitory. Whenever Baba called a meeting, He was very particular

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD and specific about the allotment of duties. He would personally supervise things to ensure that the instructions given by Him were carried out to the last detail. He was also a gracious Host in providing adequate facilities for His dear ones visiting Him during darshan programs or sahavas. However, to work for Baba was not always easy. Those who worked for Baba had to be in readiness to face unexpected difficulties and changes of plans, dates, and sites. But all this helped His dear ones in seeing the work as a spiritual adventure to efface their "selves" in order to accept His will with unreserved faith. With such acceptance, their lives, thoughts, and feelings became "His work" in their endeavor to work for Him. Miraculously, it did not rain from September 8 through the 27th. The weather was clear and pleasant. With a group of dedicated workers, Pendu managed to complete the construction of the temporary structures. The offering of prayers ended on the 26th, and — what a divine joke! — after one day the rains began, and continued from the early morning of the 28th into the afternoon, when there was an even heavier downpour. Baba's followers from Andhra and Hamirpur had reserved special railway carriages. In the train they were enthusiastic in glorifying Avatar Meher Baba through singing bhajans and songs on Baba's divinity. Some also took this opportunity to distribute literature about Baba to those interested. On the afternoon of September 28, all the groups of Baba's lovers from Uttar Pradesh, Madhya Pradesh, West Bengal, Andhra, and other states had arrived at the Ahmednagar railway station by 4:00 P.M. In spite of the rains, everyone seemed in a happy mood. They greeted each other in Baba's love, and there was a wonderful reunion of hearts in spite of the different languages spoken. Baba's love had wiped away the differences of caste, color, and social position. All were eager to reach Meherabad, but by now there was a considerable downpour. Transport of pilgrims and luggage was difficult. There were puddles of water everywhere at Lower Meherabad. The dirt roads and improvised pathways connecting the various tents and facilities were sodden and muddy.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN It was next to impossible for Pendu to do anything to improve the situation. Some of the poles for the pandal had collapsed, and rainwater gushed into the Lodging Tent and collected on the ground beneath the cots. Cold winds began to blow, and on the Hill, where the Westerners were staying, the northwest portion of the wall gave way, and water leaked into the dormitory and refectory. By the afternoon of the 28th, hundreds of pilgrims were anxiously waiting on the Ahmednagar railway platform to go to Meherabad. In those days, the roof over the railway platform was small. Some of the men were soaked to the skin, but their hearts were drenched with Baba's love. For a number of them, it was the first visit to Meherabad, and this first visit has its own wonder, charm and profundity, which is felt even to this day. With the help of buses and lorries, which had been arranged for earlier, everyone reached Meherabad safely with their luggage by early evening. The rain continued to fall, the mud was thick ... but who cared! Upon their arrival, everyone was informed about the facilities offered to them, and also about the inconveniences caused by the rain. No one seemed to complain about anything. In fact, there was a feeling of brotherliness and friendly cooperation among the pilgrims and the volunteers working at Meherabad. They experienced a sort of "togetherness," owing to the bond of Baba's love. In spite of the rains and winds, the electrical connections worked well, and that was a saving grace, as it facilitated the movements of the pilgrims in Lower Meherabad. Otherwise the situation would have been disastrous! Every man was given an entry token for the Meeting when he arrived. He was also presented with a copy of the booklets "The Truth of Religion" and "Meher Baba's Call." Because of Baba's loving concern for the health of His dear ones who were exposed to such inclement weather, He sent instructions for everyone to be given two tablets of Anacin, to be taken after supper. The few who were ill were immediately given medical treatment. This was the only sahavas at Meherabad when over nine

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD hundred lovers stayed under a single roof, to be in the physical presence of their Beloved Lord, Meher Baba. That night, in spite of the exhausting journey and the rains, some of the men were intently reading the booklet "Meher Baba's Call," and Baba's statements touched their hearts. They felt beholden to the Avatar for His inner response to their longing to heed His "call," especially to attend this Meeting. In view of the timing of the September rains, and, considering Baba's earlier instruction to pray for "no rains," and now this subsequent downpour, it occurred to me that Baba as the Parvardigar (the Sustainer) had withheld and also released the forces of nature in accordance with His spiritual work. And perhaps He uses this technique in His relationship with the minds and hearts of His dear ones, sometimes causing dry spells, other times drenching them with His presence, all as part of His game of love and compassion. Preparing to Greet the Radiant One The early hours of September 29 were chilly and windy. However, for those who had gathered there, the very fact of their being at Meherabad, which they regarded as the Jerusalem, Mecca, or Kashi of this age, made them happy in their hearts and rested in their minds. Love transcends the laws of health and psychology. By four o'clock in the early hours of the morning, most of the men were up and moving. Because of the sudden fall in temperature, the teeth of some of the older men were chattering, and even some of the younger ones slipped and lost their balance as they tried to walk the muddy pathways to the bathing area. But it was all fun to them. Meherabad Management had kept hot water ready for the hundreds of men who wished to take baths before meeting Baba. This was in keeping with Indian custom. Luckily, by 5:00 A.M. the rain had totally stopped and the breeze was not too stiff. After refreshing themselves with hot cups of tea and light snacks in the dining hall, everyone eagerly waited to welcome Baba. They all loved Baba dearly, and, since their

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN arrival at Meherabad, felt that Baba also loved them in a special way. Baba arrived a little earlier than expected. His car stopped near Meherabad Mandali Hall. Sensitive to Pendu's feelings and worries, Baba embraced him before he could say a word. As Baba sat down on a small chair, He called on Dr. K. Suryanarayana of Andhra to check His pulse. The doctor held Baba's wrist and said with a smile, "Baba, it is really good!" Baba looked happy and relieved. Perhaps this symbolically indicated that every program during the Meeting would go well. Baba then visited the kitchen and dining hall, which were near the old Ashram building. Chhagan, one of the mandali, was in charge of cooking. Baba expressed His satisfaction that His dear lovers had been given a good breakfast of tea and sweets. Now He wished to go straight to the Meeting pandal. As Baba began to walk, His sandals got stuck in the mud, so He simply left them and continued to walk briskly, barefooted, towards the Meeting pandal. Some of His lovers eyed His footprints intently. Through this simple act, Baba was participating in the inconveniences that the pilgrims were going through. This seemingly insignificant incident had a profound effect on a young Baba lover from Dehra Dun, the youngest of the pilgrims; he was only sixteen. On his arrival on the previous evening, he had abhorred the muddy pathways. At one point his feet had gotten stuck, and he had thought, "Does Baba even know the discomfort that walking in this mud causes us? He will come in His car wearing comfortable sandals!" This boy happened to be near the kitchen when Baba visited the dining hall. As he looked at Baba, his thought from the previous evening came back to him. At that moment, he saw Baba's sandals get stuck in the mud, and observed how Baba left them immediately and continued on His way with bare feet. He immediately felt sorry for his thoughts, and later confessed his mistake tearfully to Baba. Those who come into the love orbit of the Avatar receive timely and significant responses to their doubts and worries through His external

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD actions or His casual remarks. There are many such instances, but it isn't possible to recount them all here. Baba reached the pandal a little past eight o'clock. Some of the workmen were still trying to straighten and strengthen the poles that had collapsed in the strong, stormy winds. Near the Meeting pandal, arrangements had been made for all to wash their muddy feet before entering. Baba washed His feet but still remained barefooted for a while, freely moving about among His lovers. On the first day there were no chairs, and it was not possible to spread carpets. Baba walked five or six times across the pandal as His lovers silently watched Him, standing in small groups. Baba, the Radiant One, then gracefully moved to the stage, a kind of low platform. He had a Meeting token pinned to His coat; He'd had it put on while standing before the assembly. Now, pointing to it, He smiled and gestured that He was the first one to pay dakshana of twenty-two rupees to Himself. Baba looked resplendent. There was a glimmering of celestial radiance emanating from His divine form which seemed to touch the hearts of everyone present. He was in His usual white trousers and long muslin sadra, over which He wore a yellowish silken coat. His eyes were a steady core of light, sometimes dazzling, sometimes soothing, and held a look of eternity in them. He took His seat in the chair, His expression silently reassuring His dear ones that He knew their hearts. Now He wished to communicate with His dear ones who had gathered there. Most of Baba's words were conveyed from the alphabet board in English (and occasionally in Hindi or Gujarati). These were interspersed with His simple gestures. The sound system rendered clear service, and Baba's statements were translated into all the major languages of those in attendance. And so, the profound, dignified occasion of the momentous Meeting began. "Yes, I Am the Ancient One . . . " At the beginning of the Meeting, addressing the assembly,

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Eruch announced that there were three main items on the morning program: Baba's embracing of everyone who had come for the Meeting, the offering Prayers glorifying God, and Baba's participating in the Prayer of Repentance. Baba had also agreed to meet separately with the different Baba groups after lunch. Everyone gazed adoringly at Baba as these announcements were made, and some felt that a blessed eternity had opened before them. Baba commenced: "I called you all, dear ones, for this Meeting, which has immense importance. 'Meeting,' in a general sense, is a gathering of people. But this Meeting is not like that. By 'Meeting' I mean I personally meet each one of you; everyone will meet Baba. So before we begin anything else, we meet and embrace, for the last time." With a twinkle in His eyes, Baba gestured, "But don't embrace Me so very tightly as to break My ribs!" However, the next moment was all seriousness, as Baba began to convey some profound statements about Himself from His alphabet board. Eruch read the statements through the microphone. Baba conveyed to the assembly: Last night all the time I was thinking: why had the rains started, especially on September 28, when you all were to arrive here; because all these days through September 28th morning there was sunshine. All the earlier programs went off very well: the darshan program at Ahmednagar on September 12; the explanations given on the different days to the Western group that is here; the visit to Sakori on the 20th, where I went along with the Westerners to place My head on the feet of My Master, Upasni Maharaj, in his shrine; and another "small darshan" program at Ahmednagar on September 26 near the Sarosh Motor Works. All these events were carried out to My satisfaction. But particularly from the late morning of September 28, when the lovers of God were expected to arrive here, why did it begin to rain heavily, causing great inconvenience to them? I asked God His reason behind this. He

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD replied, "The real lovers of God come to meet the Beloved with their heads on their palms; so this inconvenience would be a joy to them." Then for the first time, I asked Myself whether I was the Avatar. And the clear and definite answer was, "Yes, I am the Ancient One, the Highest of the High." Then I asked Avatar Meher Baba, "Why this inconvenience to the lovers who have come all the way to meet You?" Avatar Meher Baba replied, "Lovers go to the shrines of the departed Avatars and undergo difficulties, sometimes journeying long distances on foot; many die on the way from illness, but this does not deter them from their objective." If the lovers, when visiting the living Avatar Meher Baba, do not cheerfully bear such insignificant inconvenience, their love for Me would be a farce. After this introduction, Baba continued, "Now after embracing you all, one after another, for the last time, we will pray and confess our weaknesses. Be brave in your repentance. Soon, I am going to destroy all the bindings of religious ceremonies. Religion will remain; its farce will vanish." Baba began embracing His lovers one by one as they lined up in a queue before the stage. After a short time, He stopped, and looked around lovingly, conveying, "I am going to drop My body soon. So, this is your last opportunity to embrace Me. All who have come for this Meeting at Meherabad must meet and embrace Baba. May you all be worthy of My love; may you not let Me down. Don't sell Me!" Baba's reference to dropping His body was most unexpected and had a strong impact. It brought tears to some eyes; mountains began to move in the men's minds, and a variety of sentiments overwhelmed their hearts. A number of men stood sobbing. However, on the stage Baba continued to embrace His dear ones with a warm smile, touching each one's heart on his own personal level. Dr. Daulat Singh, who had been one of Baba's New Life companions, approached Baba with tears coursing down his cheeks. By the time Baba embraced him, his internal turmoil caused his knees to give way. Baba allowed him to sit

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN for some time on the stage. Deshmukh, a professor of philosophy and one of Baba's dear disciples, embraced Him on both sides, forgetting Baba's earlier instruction to embrace on one side only. Baba held him by his shoulder and expressed His displeasure. However, Baba forgave him for this violation of the rule, and gestured that He had canceled Deshmukh's earlier two embraces, and asked him to embrace Him again, only on one side. In this little act, one can see Baba's forgiveness and compassion linked by His divine humor. Before embracing one of His lovers from Andhra, a scholar of the Bhagavad Gita, Baba asked him to recite two shlokas from the Gita's Fourth Discourse. In these lines, Krishna states: "Age after age, whenever righteousness declines and evil flourishes, I assume a human form, to destroy the wickedness of the vicious and to establish the real dharma — the way of life." This assurance in the Gita reminded some in the pandal that Krishna had come once again in their midst, as Meher Baba. Before embracing another of His lovers, Janak Singh, Baba inquired if he had had a proper bath that morning. Then, as though emphasizing this, Baba gestured to ask specifically if he had gotten hot water, a towel, soap case, etc. Janak nodded yes. Baba then embraced him, and Janak was so overwhelmed that for some moments he became totally oblivious to his surroundings. Baba's questioning about his bath, in itself not remarkable, had answered a question that had perplexed Janak since early that morning, when an unidentified man had helped him with those various bathing preparations. Even though he was only in his twenties and possessed a strong constitution, Janak had been afraid to bathe that morning because of the cold, muddy, rainy conditions. However, when one man thoughtfully offered to help, Janak gratefully accepted. Later, he could not make out who this man had been. Baba's gestures to him on the stage revealed to him that it was Baba who had directed that unknown person to help him on that chilly morning. And he marveled at Baba's interest in such an insignificant thing as his bath. This opened a new dimension in his life with Baba, showing how Baba's

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD omnipresence was always lovingly watching and helping him in all matters, big and small. A lover who had come from Nauranga was greatly distressed because of some "spirits" who used to harass him often. But as soon as he received Baba's embrace, he felt that the harassing "spirits" left him, and he had no such difficulty from that time forth. During this Meeting, Baba lovers shared amongst themselves a variety of such personal experiences revealing Baba's timely help in their individual lives. To make this most sublime occasion of the "last embrace" a bit brighter and more lighthearted, Baba continued to joke with His lovers from Andhra and Hamirpur. After enfolding His lovers in His arms, He signaled that the second item of the morning program, the Prayers, should begin. Hearing this, those who were crowding around the stage or standing in groups slowly spread out through the pandal. In spite of the large number of men, there was no rush or disorder. Everyone stood facing Baba. While Baba had been meeting His dear ones, He had allowed some to film Him or take photos. But after embracing His lovers, He ordered that the filming be stopped until lunchtime. The assembly was also instructed not to call out "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai" until the Prayers were over. Eruch removed a garland from Baba's neck. Baba gracefully smoothed the strands of His hair and straightened His coat. He washed His hands, with a serious expression, and then stood facing Kaikobad, who was on the stage. The first Zoroastrian prayer began with all solemnity, and, as it ended, one of the participants, apparently out of habit, pronounced aloud Baba's "Jai." Everyone was taken aback by this. It was as though an unwanted cloud had burst out of the blue. Baba asked, "Who said that?" The man confessed meekly and asked Baba's pardon for this mistake. Baba looked exceedingly somber, but then made a gesture which signified, "Forgiven." Baba reiterated that everyone should be careful and vigilant about His instructions, as they always have deep meaning. During the Meeting, He once mentioned that conscious or purposeful disobedience of His personal orders may result in a

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN suffering which can be compared to an incurable sore that continually pains but does not heal. Baba again washed His hands and stood before Kaikobad, facing south. He looked resplendent and serene. The prayer session began afresh. Kaikobad, Ali Akbar (Aloba), Dr. Nilu with Vishnu, and Dr. Donkin offered the Zoroastrian, Islamic, Hindu, and Christian prayers, respectively. Baba also asked Dr. Daulat Singh to recite a passage from the Guru Granthsahab, the holy book of the Sikhs. It may be of interest to some that the Christian prayer that was compiled by Dr. Donkin from different sources had Baba's special approval. At the end of each prayer, the person who had recited it would put his right foot on the arm of a chair kept near Baba. Then Baba would bow to that person, placing His forehead on his foot. Simultaneously, the man would invoke God by uttering aloud, and with deep respect and love, one of the divine names of God representing that particular religion — Ahuramazda, Allah-hu-Akbar, Om Parabrahma Paramatma, God Almighty. Dr. Daulat Singh spoke aloud, "Sat Shri Akal." After the prayers, Baba asked the men if they felt tired from having to stand for such a long time. If they wished, He was ready to give them a short break before beginning the third item of the meeting. Most of the lovers said, "Please continue." Baba gestured, "I don't feel tired, so let us go on." Eruch read from Baba's board, "Baba will offer the Prayer of Repentance for all present and also for the world. Pay full attention and put your heart into it. God is deaf to the dictates of the mind but listens to the language of the heart. So if you wholeheartedly participate in My confession, God will definitely make you love Me." Kaikobad initiated the "confession" by repeating "Bane me Yezdan" from the Avesta. Then the Prayer of Repentance was recited in the Indian languages — Hindi, Marathi, Gujarati, and Telugu. 2 Dr. Donkin read the Prayer in English. The recitation and participation by the assembly with Avatar Meher Baba concluded the main part of the morning session. At Baba's signal, Francis Brabazon of Australia came to the microphone and called out, "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai." All joined him in chorus.

2

See Three Incredible Weeks with Meher Baba, pp. 43-44

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD Before the gathering dispersed, it was announced that Baba would be seeing and meeting His lovers in the groups they had come with from the different parts of India. This would begin at 2:00 P.M. in Mandali Hall. Before this He also wished to see some people in the small cabin facing the Hall in connection with His work. As He got up to leave, Baba told the gathering, "Tomorrow, rain or no rain, the Meeting will be held in the pandal from nine in the morning to eleven o'clock. And it will resume again from half past three in the afternoon up to six in the evening. All of you should be present here. In that Meeting, I will precisely 'say' what I have to 'say.’” With this message the morning session was over, and Baba walked back barefooted to the cabin with some of the mandali accompanying Him. As the pilgrims streamed out of the pandal, there was no trace of a cloud trailing in the sky. The men made their way slowly to the lodging tent, absorbed in their thoughts, Baba's words, "Yes, I am the Ancient One ... ," ringing in their hearts. Andhra and Hamirpur Groups Meet Baba After lunch, Baba called His dear ones from Andhra into the Hall at Lower Meherabad. This was a large group. Baba lovingly inquired about the health of some, and even teased a few for being fat. He then told them about His recent visit to Sakori. At the end He conveyed to them, "Upasni Maharaj was 'Perfection Personified,' and I am the Avatar. I am the One who exists in Eternity, from Eternity. If you love Me, even a little, I assure and promise you with My divine authority that you will be free, eternally. But remember, however small that love you have for Me may be, you must be honest about it; don't make a show of it." In the general conversation, the name of M. Annapurnaiah, who loved Baba intensely, came up. He was the editor of a Telugu periodical in which he would boldly express his views about Meher Baba being the Avatar of the Age. At the beginning of September he prepared a special article to be shared during the Meeting in Meherabad. However, upon completing

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN it, he got a fever, and in spite of extensive treatment, his temperature remained high. For a week, he continually repeated Baba's name in a steady rhythm. Perhaps his body could no longer contain the love within him. He passed away on September 11. The article he had prepared for the Meherabad meeting was found by one of his close friends in his room. 3 A copy of it was brought to Meherabad to be read out to Baba. In expressing his love for and trust in Avatar Meher Baba, M. Annapurnaiah wrote the following: An Outpouring of a Lover's Agony Is my heart filled with love for Baba completely and constantly? If so, every thought I think should be pure, every word I speak should be true, and every action I perform should be unselfish. Love for Baba means love for every fellow being, irrespective of caste or creed, clime or country, race or religion. He alone serves Baba who serves the lowliest of the low without the least expectation of any return. Renunciation is the cornerstone, the rock bottom of Love. It is complete when even the thought of renunciation vanishes. Should I not therefore surrender, not merely all earthly possessions, but even the mental ego which stands in the way of true renunciation? The total annihilation of the ego is possible only when the heart becomes a perennial fountain of Love and Truth for the Lord. Blessed is he who is born at a time when God becomes Man for redeeming the sins of humanity. More blessed is he who understands and recognizes the particular form that God has assumed for that purpose. Still more blessed is he who has a chance to know Him at close quarters and tries to follow Him. Much more blessed is he who enters His inner circle and becomes a willing instrument in fulfillment of His mission. Completely blessed is he that becomes the chosen of the Chosen One. On this sacred day, the red letter day of my life, the 29th

3

. The Glow, May 1975, pp. 8-9.

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD of September, 1954, having the rare good fortune of being in the immediate physical presence of the Ancient One, the One without a second, the Lord of Lords, the Highest of the High, I bow to Him and pay my homage. Lucky am I to stand before Him, enjoying His loving look, enchanting smile, and hallowed touch, the envy of saints and rishis for ages. Let it not be said of me that I have eyes to see and do not see, ears to hear and do not hear, heart to understand and do not understand Him who has descended to my level to lift me from the bottomless pit of perdition to the most sublime heights of His level. Verily, He has stooped to conquer. May my whole soul ring with the one and only prayer at this moment, the eve of His Revelation: Oh! Lord of Lords! I have no temples to build for Thee. Thou art enshrined in the temple of my heart. I have no flowers to worship Thee. I place the wreath of my heart at Thy lotus feet . . . Oh, Ancient One! Give me the courage and strength to love Thee forever and ever and to follow Thee with unfaltering steps and undying faith to the heaven of eternal bliss. I have reproduced a large part of this article to give some idea of the intensity of love and the depth of conviction in Baba's divinity of many of those who attended this Meeting. In Meherabad Hall, before the introductions began, Baba conveyed, "I know you all, I know the whole world. But now I want to hear the dear names of My lovers from themselves, for the last time. Know well that even those who do not consciously love Me are also Mine." Baba then asked those gathered in the Hall to stand up one by one and introduce themselves. One of His lovers asked Baba for His permission to publish the messages given by Him in September 1954. Baba told him, "If you are convinced that Baba is the Avatar, say so [in the printed material]. If you feel that Baba is not the Avatar, say so. Remember to be honest in your heart, and whatever you do, do it with all your heart. My blessings." To someone who

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN introduced himself as a newcomer, Baba gestured, "But I have been seeing you for ages. So don't worry about your seeing Me for the first time." To another who began to present information of a personal nature, Baba remarked, "I am omniscient; there is no need to tell Me more than what is asked." A number of persons apprised Baba of the work they were doing through their centers to spread His message. Baba appreciated their love for Him, and, with a wink, conveyed to the group, "My heart, if I have one, is overflowing with love for you all." With a warm smile, He continued, "Andhra has a special place in My heart, and I feel very happy that you all managed to come here. However, even those who, for one reason or another, were unable to come, they are also here with Me." Baba was with the Andhra group for over an hour, and then asked them to leave the Hall in order to make room for the group from Hamirpur. As they departed, Baba rose to His feet and folded His hands in response to their love for Him. Some of them approached Him and extended their hands for Him to touch. Baba had a very lively, intimate time with His dear ones from Hamirpur. Lovers from other parts of Uttar Pradesh were also called in at this time. Baba was in a mood to give some spiritual explanations, some of which were spiced with His sense of humor. To expedite introductions, He asked Keshav Nigam to introduce each person to Him. The first man to be introduced was a young man who had participated in Baba's Andhra tour. Since that time, he had been so overpowered by Baba's love that he had been unable to attend adequately to his worldly duties. In reference to this, Baba conveyed to the gathering, "The flame of love within should not give out even smoke for others to see. When you love Me, you begin to burn within, but you should appear cheerful and smiling. Bear the pangs of separation calmly and quietly. Any outward expression can be an insult to love. While attending to all your duties, you can still love Baba, by dedicating all your actions, good and bad, to Me. Just as you dress your body with clothes, and then forget about

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD it, similarly you should dress your soul with thoughts of Baba; Baba will then be with you, even without your knowing it." To someone else, Baba remarked, "I am 'Ustad' [the Unparalleled One]. No one tells a lie like Me, and no one speaks the truth like Me! No one can get a grip on Me. I am so unfathomable that even I am unable to fathom My own Self. But I know I am the Ancient One, and I can be yours by love, honest love." One individual asked Baba to bestow on him such grace that he would see Baba as He truly is. Baba answered, "My Grace flows spontaneously of My own accord. Try to think of Me, and leave the rest to Me." And then He went on, "Only love takes you to God, while lust binds you to illusion. Lust wants everything. The sign of love is that one never asks for anything." There was a schoolboy present at the gathering who had come against his father's wishes. Baba directed the boy to apologize to his father on Baba's behalf for the love that caused him to come. What divine humility! Another student was introduced to Baba who had been allowed by Baba to attend the Meeting on the condition that he be granted permission by his school. While describing the difficulties he had encountered in gaining permission, he related that he had lost his temper with his principal. Baba asked him why he was unable to control his anger. The boy admitted, "This is a problem for me." "Whenever you are about to get angry with someone," Baba gestured, "remember that I am in that person. This will help you to get over your anger." A lover who was meeting Him for the first time asked Baba to help him control his mind. Baba gave him a simple method, similar to what He had shared earlier with the Westerners. "Take My name once at seven o'clock in the morning, then again at midday, at five in the evening, and finally just before going to bed." Baba emphasized that this should be done as a daily practice, and assured the man of His help. A barber was introduced to Baba, and Baba remarked, "I am the Universal Barber; I shave and shape the heads of all!" A man with a potbelly approached Baba, and Baba told him, "I like you because you have a round heart, a round body, and your love is also round!" Everyone had a good laugh. An

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN herbalist was introduced, and Baba asked him to examine His pulse. He did so, and reported that Baba's pulse was strong enough to sustain the whole world. This amused Baba very much. Addressing the entire group, Baba declared, "It is I who love you, and it is My love that is reflected through you all." In the morning session Baba had stated that the time was drawing near for Him to drop His physical body, so many of His loved ones looked downcast. As though to raise their spirits, He conveyed, "Although physically Baba will depart soon, yet Baba is eternally everywhere. So stay where you are and love Me. And wherever you are, I will be with you." After meeting with the men from Hamirpur, Baba called in the rest of the groups — from Bombay, Gujarat, and the remaining parts of India. This group talk ended at 4:30 P.M. In one way or another, Baba had spoken a few personal words to almost everyone, and thereby quickened His inner relationship with each of them. Baba's love began to echo from heart to heart. The interplay between a lover and the Beloved, with its diversity of playfulness and profundity, can be savored only by one who has the sincerity of a seeker, the simplicity of a child, and, just as important, a sense of humor. Retiring to His cottage at lower Meherabad, Baba met with the Meherabad management and several of the mandali to discuss the arrangements made at Meherabad for His dear ones and also some other aspects of His pending work. He left for Meherazad after sunset, waving to His lovers who had gathered by the road to see Him off. September 30: The Morning Session On His arrival at Meherabad on the morning of September 30, Baba went to His cottage. It was about eight o'clock. He began the day by giving a brief interview to some disciples of Upasni Maharaj who had come from Sakori. After this, others were summoned, among them Niranjan Singh, who was an illustrious research scholar in chemistry

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD and the principal of a renowned college in Delhi. Although Baba intended to deliver one of His most serious messages that afternoon, He seemed to be in quite a jovial mood that morning. Baba told Niranjan that He had called him specially because He remembered that earlier He had conveyed to him the possibility of his having a ten-day stay with Baba. "But now," Baba smiled, "I offer you an interview of only ten minutes, which will be tantamount to your staying with Me for ten days!" Baba appreciated Niranjan's love for Him and continued, "I know your longing; don't worry. I will definitely help you to know Me as God." Teasingly, Baba inquired, "Have I given you any other promise?" "Yes, Baba," Niranjan replied. "You agreed to visit my home in Delhi." Baba smiled again and conveyed, "Even if I drop My body soon, I will keep My promise to visit your house, but in My own way and time!" Baba's words often indicated something beyond their literal meaning. And before Niranjan could say anything more, the ten minutes were over. Niranjan offered his salutations to Baba and left. After meeting with several more people, Baba came out of the cottage and crossed the Nagar-Arangaon road and walked on towards the railway tracks. According to the previous day's instructions, groups of people were eagerly waiting for Baba's arrival, in order to go with Him to Upper Meherabad. As Baba approached, the crowd parted, and He led the assembly up the road which He Himself had trod countless times over the years. Having reached the top of the Hill, Baba stopped and seated Himself under the shade of a neem tree near the old water tank in front of the gate to Meher Retreat. He looked withdrawn and stretched out one leg, as can be seen in the pictures which He allowed to be taken at that time. Meanwhile, it took some of the crowd who had straggled behind, including those who were old and ill, time to catch up. When everyone was together again, Baba led the entire group as a body through a small gate to His future Tomb (now known as the Samadhi). 4 Baba did not enter the Tomb, however, but stood on the platform beside it. 5 "This is the place of My earlier prolonged

4

The small gate and a compound of barbed wire enclosing the Tomb were removed after Meher Baba put aside His physical form. 5 This platform was to the right as one faced the Tomb, and there were small meditation cells standing on it. The construction was dismantled in the early '70s, and the Sabha Mandap was erected, which presently stands adjacent to Baba's cabin.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN seclusion and fasting," He conveyed, indicating the Tomb, which is a small rectangular building made of stone. "Inside you will see a crypt. It was there I mostly stayed during the day and night, throughout that seclusion. When I drop My body, it will be interred here for the final rest." Sometimes Baba used to refer to this crypt as His "Final Resting Place." Baba asked one of His Western disciples to open the door to the Tomb, and everyone was told to look inside. There were steps leading to the crypt, and the interior of the Tomb was glowing with the lively murals painted by Helen Dahm. The men bowed down at the threshold, and some offered flowers. The group was then asked to return to the Meeting pandal and take their seats. Incidentally, the small neem tree beneath which Baba rested still stands to this day. It reminds me of the Ancient One who waits for all, to lead each of us personally to the "final resting place" that everyone has in the Avatar's Abode. By half past nine, Baba returned from the hill to the Meeting pandal. The men were instructed to stay in their chairs and not stand when Baba entered. Accompanied by several mandali, Baba went to the platform and seated Himself on the couch. Then He conveyed to His lovers, "Before I give My Final Declaration in the afternoon Meeting, I want to say a few words regarding other matters. The afternoon session will begin at 3:00 P.M. When it ends, I shall leave promptly for Meherazad. All who want to get the full benefit of this Meeting, and wish to return home with the atmosphere of this place, should go directly to their homes. Now I will tell you a few words about My Masters." Baba then called the five men from Sakori to come and sit on the platform. Baba continued: What I am, what I was, and what I will be as the Ancient One is always due to the five Perfect Masters of the Age. Sai Baba, Upasni Maharaj, Babajan, Tajuddin Baba, and Narayan Maharaj — these are the five Perfect Masters of this Age for Me. I bow down to them. However, only Babajan and Maharaj directly played the main roles. Babajan, in less than a millionth of a second, made Me

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD realize that I am God; and in a period of about seven years, Upasni Maharaj gave Me the Divine Knowledge that I am the Avatar. At present, Godavri Mai is the head of Sakori Ashram. She is a unique female personality and loves Me beyond words, and to Me she is the dearest of the dear. Baba introduced Maharaj's five disciples to the assembly. He told His lovers that after lunch they would be shown pictures taken during His last visit to Sakori. He went on: Now please pay attention, be wide awake, not drowsy. Since I stopped speaking, and also stopped writing, except for My signature, when essential, I carried on My communication with the help of the alphabet board for all these years of My Silence. From October 7, 1954, I will give up this board too. So, from then on, I shall not be speaking, writing, or using the board, or making signs with My fingers. I shall be as if withdrawing within Myself. This is because now the long promised and repeatedly promised time of breaking My Silence is very near. From October 7, I shall completely retire from My present activities. There will be no mass darshan, no programs, no meetings, no messages, no correspondence. Take this seriously and do not write to Me from October 7, as I shall pay no attention to letters. However, as promised earlier, I shall go with Gadge Maharaj when he takes Me to Pandharpur, if he has the fortune to do so. Baba called Dr. Donkin to the dais and explained to him, through a figure of speech, about the breaking of His silence and its effect. Donkin then spoke to the audience through the microphone: "Just as an atom bomb, which in itself is so small, when exploded, causes tremendous havoc, so, when Baba breaks His Silence, the universal spiritual upheaval that will take place will be something that no one can describe. It will happen at a time when nobody expects it. Just as when an earthquake takes place, no one can do anything, but everyone in the affected area feels it, so the breaking of Baba's Silence

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN will create a spiritual upheaval, and everyone will feel it in his heart." Baba then told His lovers, "I never die. I am always the Ancient One. Remember, God alone is real, and all else is illusion. Your attending this Meeting will be worth it if all of you, or if some of you, or at least a few of you, spread the message of My love to others." Baba concluded, "Be here at three o'clock to listen to My Final Declaration. It will be read in four different languages — English, Hindi, Telugu, and Marathi. After that you are free to depart, and you must depart by tomorrow noon. Today, after lunch, you will have the opportunity to see the pictures of My recent visit to Sakori, but no one should try to garland Me, or embrace Me, or ask Me for anything." He paused, then added, "However, I may play marbles with some of you after lunch." Baba looked radiant and cheerful throughout the morning session. Despite His levity, however, a somber mood prevailed over the assembly. As the men dispersed, some were obviously deeply affected by the thought that they would soon be missing any opportunity of being in the physical presence of the Avatar. The Afternoon Session: "The Final Declaration" During the lunch period, Baba visited the dining hall. As he entered, he asked someone to follow Him with a basket of puris (fried bread made from wheat flour). He distributed these to His dear ones as they were eating. His presence delighted the hearts of those whom He served in this manner, and they felt especially blessed by this special, unexpected prasad. Baba also visited the kitchen and showed His interest in the food preparation. In a playful mood, He engaged in a puri-rolling competition with one of the cooks. To His own amusement, Baba lost. As He was leaving the kitchen for Mandali Hall, Dr. Deshmukh followed Him, pleading, "Baba, for the sake of

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD humanity, please do not drop Your physical body so soon. We need You." In spite of Dr. Deshmukh's persistence, Baba would only smile at him, without giving any reply. In the Hall, Baba met with some of the members of His old cricket team. He tossed oranges to them, perhaps in a mood reminiscent of old times. After that, various other groups were called into the Hall to look at the photos taken at Sakori during Baba's recent visit to Maharaj's Ashram. Baba then strolled onto the veranda and played marbles with some of His lovers. Bhajans were being sung, and Baba seemed to enjoy them a great deal, clapping His hands or slapping His knee in time to the music. As the time approached for the afternoon session when "The Final Declaration" was to be read, Baba moved towards the Meeting pandal, stopping on the way to give darshan to a group of villagers who were waiting near the dhuni. The assembly was instructed not to rise as Baba entered the pandal. Straightaway, He went to the platform and took His seat. His face shone with a rare glow. As it was still ten minutes before three, Baba permitted a group of His lovers from Andhra to sing some bhajans which they had composed. Baba expressed His appreciation for their love and faith in Him. The atmosphere was suffused with Baba's divine presence. At precisely three o'clock, without any introduction from Baba, Eruch began to read the "The Final Declaration" in English. Baba had dictated this message before the Meeting, and its contents had been typed and kept confidential. Eruch's voice deepened as he read the message into the microphone. The audience listened intently, with many eyes riveted on Baba. A number of individuals later remarked that they felt, at that moment, as though Baba had no body, and that the Formless God was expressing Himself through Baba's words. Avatar Meher Baba's Final Declaration is given below. For the reader's convenience, I have taken the liberty of dividing the text into four parts.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN "Every Heart Is My House" I am very happy to have you all here. I know that very many of you have come to Meherabad under greatly difficult circumstances. Some of you have covered thousands of miles, and even crossed continents to be at Meherabad today. It is your deep love for Me that has braved all obstacles and prompted you to sacrifice your comforts and convenience to honor My Call and to be near Me today. I am deeply touched by your devotion, and I am proud of the hearts that contain such love and loyalty. There are many more devoted hearts like yours, yearning to be present here, but these are not to be seen in your midst today. I know that in spite of their intense desire to be near Me, they could not possibly come for one reason or another. Therefore, they depend upon you to convey to them, in vivid detail, all that you see and hear during these two days of unique opportunity that has fallen to your lot. I trust you will not fail them. Although you are present here with all love and faith in Me, and though you feel blessed to have My personal contact, yet I know that you will not realize today, as you ought to, the true significance of My Call and your presence here at this juncture. Time alone will make most of you realize, not many months from now, the significant importance of this assembly. The time is fast approaching when all that I have repeatedly stressed, from time to time, will definitely come to pass. Most of you will witness those events, and will recall very vividly all that transpires during these two days of your stay at Meherabad. I have come not to establish anything new — I have come to put life into the old. I have not come to establish retreats or ashrams. I create them for the purpose of My universal work, only to repeatedly dissolve them once that purpose has been served. The Universe is My Ashram, and every heart is My house; but I manifest only in those hearts in which all, other than Me, ceases to live.

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD "The Universal Religion of Love" When My Universal Religion of Love is on the verge of fading into insignificance, I come to breathe life into it and to do away with the farce of dogmas that defile it in the name of religions and stifle it with ceremonies and rituals. The present universal confusion and unrest has filled the heart of man with greater lust for power and a greed for wealth and fame, bringing in its wake untold misery, hatred, jealousy, frustration, and fear. Suffering in the world is at its height in spite of all the striving to spread peace and prosperity to bring about lasting happiness. For man to have a glimpse of lasting happiness he has first to realize that God, being in all, knows all; that God alone acts and reacts through all; that God, in the guise of countless animate and inanimate entities, experiences the innumerably varied phenomena of suffering and happiness, and that God Himself undergoes all these illusory happenings. Thus it is God Who will efface this illusory suffering and bring the illusory happiness to its height. Whether it manifests as Creation or disappears into the Oneness of Reality, whether it is experienced as existing and real, or is perceived to be false and nonexistent, illusion throughout is illusion. There is no end to it, just as there is no end to imagination. There are two aspects experienced in illusion — manyness and oneness. While manyness multiplies manyness, oneness goes on magnifying itself. Manyness is the "religion" of illusion on which illusion thrives. In the illusory beginning of Time, there was no such state of mess in illusion as there is today. When the evolution of consciousness began, there was oneness in spite of the diversity in illusion. With the growth of consciousness, manyness also went on increasing, until now it is about to overlap the limit. Like the wave that reaches its crest, this will dissolve itself and bring about the beginning of oneness in illusion. Suffering at its height will cause the destruction of this climax of manyness in illusion.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN The time has come for the preordained destruction of multiple separateness which keeps man from experiencing the feeling of unity and brotherhood. This destruction which will take place very soon will cause three-fourths of the world to be destroyed. The remaining one fourth will be brought together to live a life of concord and mutual understanding, thus establishing a feeling of oneness in all fellow beings, leading them towards lasting happiness. "When I Speak the Word . . ." Before I break My silence, or immediately after it, threefourths of the world will be destroyed. I shall speak soon to fulfill all that is shortly to come to pass. To affirm religious faiths, to establish societies, or to hold conferences will never bring about the feeling of unity and oneness in the life of mankind now completely absorbed in the manyness of illusion. Unity in the midst of diversity can be made to be felt only by touching the very core of the heart. That is the work for which I have come. I have come to sow the seed of love in your hearts so that, in spite of all superficial diversity which your life in illusion must experience and endure, the feeling of oneness, through love, is brought about amongst all the nations, creeds, sects, and castes of the world. In order to bring this about, I am preparing to break My silence. When I break My silence it will not be to fill your ears with spiritual lectures. I shall speak only One Word, and this Word will penetrate the hearts of all men and make even the sinner feel that he is meant to be a saint, while the saint will know that God is in the sinner as much as He is in himself. When I speak that Word, I shall lay the foundation for that which is to take place during the next seven hundred years. When I come again after seven hundred years, the evolution of consciousness will have reached such an apex that materialistic tendencies will be automatically

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD transmuted into spiritual longing, and the feeling of equality in universal brotherhood will prevail. This means that opulence and poverty, literacy and illiteracy, jealousy and hatred, which are in evidence today in their full measure, will then be dissolved through the feeling of the oneness of all men. Prosperity and happiness will then be at its zenith. This does not mean that oneness in illusion shall remain so eternally. That is because all this that is, is illusion, and the consciousness of oneness, as well as of manyness in illusion, is part of the process of evolution. The time is bound to recur when there will be again the same beginning, growth and culmination of the heights of manyness and oneness in illusion. "A Cycle of Cycles" My next advent, after I drop this body, will be after seven hundred years, and that will mark the end and the beginning of a Cycle of Cycles. All cycles of time in illusion end and begin after 700 to 1,400 years, and there have been, and will be, millions and billions of such cycles in a Cycle of Cycles; thus, there is no end to illusion, which always remains illusion. Age after age, I come amidst mankind to maintain My own Creation of illusion, thereby also awakening humanity to become aware of it. The framework of illusion is always one and the same, but the designs in illusion are innumerable and ever-changing. My advent is not to destroy illusion, because illusion, as it is, is absolutely nothing. I come to make you become aware of the nothingness of illusion. Through you I automatically maintain illusion, which is nothing but the shadow of My Infinite Self, and through Me you automatically discard illusion when you are made aware of its falseness. My manifestation as the Avatar of the time will be of short duration. This short period will, in quick succession,

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN cover My humiliation, the breaking of My silence, My glorification and My violent physical end. Everlastingly with all the Divine Bliss within Me, I eternally suffer for one and all — thus I am crucified eternally and continually for all. During this short period, My Word of Words will touch the hearts of all mankind, and spontaneously this Divine touch will instill in man the feeling of the oneness of all fellow beings. Gradually, in the course of the next seven hundred years, this feeling will supersede the tendency of separateness and rule over the hearts of all, driving away hatred, jealousy, and greed that breed suffering, and happiness will reign. For the benefit of those who did not understand English, translations of the "Declaration" in Telugu, Hindi, and Marathi were read out. As Dr. Deshmukh started to read the Marathi translation, it began to rain. I found myself wondering whether water might soon seep through the cloth roof of the pandal. However, to my surprise, the rain totally stopped within a few minutes, and there was sunshine. Baba remained undisturbed, and appeared to be listening intently to the reading. He did not explain or comment on anything. When the last translation had been read, He rose from the couch. A little later I was able to see Him at the edge of the platform. It was now announced that all of those in attendance were to form a queue to receive prasad from Baba's hand. They were asked to leave the pandal after receiving the prasad. The Message had left the hearts of many numb; some of the men looked confused and dazed. Baba distributed the prasad with a nonchalant air. When the Westerners reached Him, He extended His hand for them to kiss. They were told to pack their belongings and prepare to leave that evening. Baba went to His car, which was surrounded by a large crowd of His lovers, many of whom wept. One individual, a youth, rushed at the car as it began to move away, sobbing terribly. Baba gestured for the car to stop just as the young man was on the verge of striking his head against the windshield. Very lovingly, Baba asked him to compose himself, and then the car left for Meherazad.

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD Only Self Effaced Is Self Offered The great Meeting was over. The participants left Meherabad by noon of October 1. The sun was shining brightly; in India, October is considered a second summer. The contractors were pulling down the pandal, tents, and dining hall. Bullock carts loaded with wooden posts and cloth began making their way back to Ahmednagar on the following day. Compared to the length of time required for setting up all of these structures, how quickly they were dismantled! From the 1st through the 3rd of October, Baba visited Meherabad twice a day. For the most part, He was busy with the mandali, giving them instructions and explanations about His future activities and their own responsibilities in regard to them. Being a "businessman," Baba inquired about all of the expenses incurred during the Meeting, and made certain that no bill was left unpaid. I wasn't required to return to my school until October 4, and was allowed to extend my stay by three days. During the time of the Meeting, a few people briefly shared some incidents from their lives with Baba. Each of the nine hundred hearts at Meherabad would have revealed a different facet of His love, reflecting their conviction in Baba's divinity and their relationship with Him. I was greatly touched and impressed by the variety and richness of the stories I was fortunate to hear. It isn't practical to try and share those here, but I would like to conclude this section by sharing several personal incidents which continue to serve as beacons in my life with Meher Baba. The dhuni is lit at Meherabad on the 12th of each month. However, in order to give an opportunity to His Western lovers to participate in the dhuni, Baba had permitted a special lighting on September 24. A little after lunch on that day, Baba sat in the hall at Lower Meherabad with the Western group. Then, after conversing for a time with His Western and Indian followers, Baba led the entire group to the dhuni platform. Many villagers had already gathered there. The dhuni was lit. A number of those present felt as though the

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN divine fire burning in the pit on the platform was fueled by the divine fire in Baba's eyes. At the close of this function, while the fire was still burning, Baba gave word that all the mandali and Indian volunteers working at Meherabad should come to the platform. I answered the summons, and, upon reaching the platform, was instructed to throw a sandalwood chip dipped in ghee (clarified butter) into the fire. I was informed that this would symbolize my desire to get rid of "something" that I wished to be free of. The queue was quite short, and there was really no time for me to think about this. As far as I recall, the following words came to my mind without any premeditation: "Baba, I offer my 'self’ in Your Light." AI1 of this happened in such a natural way that I forgot what I had silently spoken and prayed. Later, when these words came back to me, I felt greatly indebted to Baba for His inner guidance and timely prompting. This turned out to be the first and only time I ever attended the lighting of the dhuni. But even if I were to attend again, what else would I have to drop into Baba's all-consuming Fire of Love! It was late in the afternoon, and Baba left the platform to visit Arangaon village. I followed along with the crowd. It was a wonderful walk, with Baba in our midst. Passing down one of the very narrow lanes of the village, I found myself unexpectedly by Baba's side. I noticed that one strand of His long flowing hair was out of place, and, in my enthusiasm, or madness, or whatever, I couldn't restrain myself from brushing it back. The moment I touched His hair, Baba gave me a look of such intensity that I immediately understood that I had gone beyond the bounds of my apportioned service to Him. I felt as though I had touched a live wire, and through the jolt I received, Baba made me see that attending to His personal needs was not in my lot — that if I were to insist on this, I would be transgressing the limits of my relationship with Him. After that time, I never tried to touch Baba's physical form unless He expressed a wish for me to do so. I learned from this small incident that while I could admire the service rendered to

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD Baba by His personal attendants, I should not presume to serve Him in the same way. In our relationship with the God-Man, each of us has to walk single file, as compassionately ordained by Him. But it is not easy to give up trying to imitate others! On the morning of the opening day of the Meeting, September 29, Baba called me to His cabin. Adi was present there, and he handed me a long, sealed envelope, saying, "These are the typed pages of 'The Final Declaration' which will be read out tomorrow. Baba wants you to translate this message into Marathi and give me that copy, along with the typed English pages, tomorrow morning. Don't disclose the contents to anyone else; keep them confidential. I will give your version to Dr. Deshmukh for his final editing." I was only with Baba for a few minutes, and He signaled for me to leave. He looked preoccupied and didn't say anything to me. However, the simple fact of having been in His physical presence enlivened my spirit. I also felt honored by the confidence Baba had reposed in me. I was busy at the time with other duties entrusted to me by Pendu, but nevertheless I looked for a quiet corner and hurriedly read through Baba's words; I could not delay. I quickly realized that this was not a short message. As I began the third page, the text began to weigh heavily on my mind. And by the time I'd finished, I realized that, without Baba's inner guidance, I would never be able to complete the translation. I was forgetting, however, that Baba never, on His own, asks anyone to do anything without providing the necessary help. That night, at around ten o'clock, I sneaked into Pendu's room with the necessary writing materials. To my surprise, I found that Keshav Nigam, a great scholar of English and Hindi, was already there, working on the Hindi translation of the same message. I requested Keshav to allow me to read his Hindi translation, which he agreed to, as this was not in conflict with Baba's order. Hindi and Marathi are kindred languages, so Keshav's translation helped. Even though the work was exhausting, I was able to finish the translation by the early hours of the

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN morning. I felt satisfied, and even proud of myself, when I turned the translation and the English typed pages over to Adi, in Baba's presence. I was expecting some appreciative words from Baba. Instead, He ignored me totally, and I felt upset. I did not know that this was the beginning of a "spiritual surgery" that was to culminate shortly after the Meeting. Three days later, on Sunday, October 3, I went into Mandali Hall to offer my parting salutations to Baba, as I was leaving on the afternoon train. Baba gave me neither a loving look nor even a smile. I stood quietly by the wall as He continued His conversation with the others. Pendu interrupted, praising me to Baba for being so conscientious in attending to my Meherabad duties. Vishnu put in, "Baba, in spite of Bal's frail health, he worked day and night. On the night he finished the Marathi translation of 'The Final Declaration' he hardly got any sleep at all!" Baba showed no interest in what was being reported to Him. This was highly unusual, especially in light of the fact that I was just about to leave for Kurduwadi. Trying to catch Baba's attention, Vishnu repeated what he had said earlier. At this Baba shot a glance at me and gestured, "So what? What's the big deal about it? Whatever Bal has done, he has done for his own 'self."' Baba's words punctured my self-esteem. I had been hoping for an embrace or a pat on the shoulder. But Baba's face showed only an expression of indifference, or possibly even disapproval. There had been a scorching flash in His eyes when He had glanced at me. I do not remember whether I had a parting embrace from Him or not; I tend to think I did not. However, as time passed by, Baba's apparent indifference, and especially that flash in His eyes, revealed a deeper meaning to me. That glance of "fire" was a divine sign conveying to me that He had accepted what I had thrown into the dhuni! — my "self." That "self" was now being consumed in the flames of His light. What a glorious moment it would be when it is finally consumed entirely, swallowed up by Baba's purifying fire, the real dhuni! I left for home, and for days afterwards that outwardly callous expression of Baba's came back to me, unfolding the

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"THE FINAL DECLARATION" MEETING AT MEHERABAD intimate concern that it had concealed. In spite of the pain of these recollections, they help me a great deal to get closer to the Real Self — Baba within. And they continue to direct me to make sincere efforts to efface my "self" in His sanctifying, blazing remembrance. During the Final Declaration Meeting, Meher Baba, as the Ancient One, announced to the world at large that soon, in His own time, He would incinerate the selfish values dominating the present age. This was also an occasion when, in a special way, He lit the dhuni in the hearts of His dear ones in order to purify their hearts. A most memorable and momentous Meeting indeed!

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DISCARDING THE BOARD, AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR 1954 ~ PART XIX Stay at Satara Resumed On October 5, Meher Baba left Meherazad for Satara in Sarosh's car with His women disciples. Eruch drove the men mandali, including Nilu and Kumar, in Adi's car, which had been used many times on mast tours. Baba was apparently thinking of contacting some masts in the near future, and for this reason wanted the car to be at His disposal in Satara. Adi had given Eruch five hundred rupees to have the car repaired and overhauled. When he learned that the bill exceeded that amount by approximately twenty rupees, he sent the balance to Eruch immediately by money order. This may seem an insignificant thing, but I have noted it here to show how very particular Baba, and those who stayed with Him, were about the smallest details. With the Omnipresent One, how can anything be insignificant? Baba stayed in Grafton with Mehera, Mani, Meheru, Dr. Goher, Naja, and Rano. The house was still under lease to Him from their stay during the first week of June. The men mandali resided at Rosewood, another bungalow about three furlongs away. Baba often walked the distance from Grafton accompanied by one of His men disciples holding an umbrella to shield Him, if necessary, from the sun. After reaching Satara on October 6, Baba received a communication from the managing trustee of the Shri Sai Baba Sansthan, Shirdi. It was an invitation to attend the installation of a large statue of Sai Baba in the Samadhi Mandir on the next day, October 7. According to the Hindu almanac, the 7th of October that year was the festival day known as dasehra, and it was also the thirtysixth anniversary of Sai Baba's physical passing away. 1 In response to the invitation, Baba directed Adi to send the following telegram to the Trustees of

1

According to the English calendar, the day on which Sai Baba dropped his body was October 15, 1918. The same day was the dasehra of the Hindus.

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR Shirdi Sansthan: The Ancient One, Avatar Meher Baba, sends homage to Sai Baba, His guru, the God Incarnate Sai Baba. (Signed "Adi" by order of Baba) On the 6th, Baba also received a telegram from Dr. Donkin concerning Nana Kher. Nana had fallen ill during the Meeting and had been admitted to the Ayurvedic Hospital in Ahmednagar. He had been diagnosed as having a mild case of typhoid, but his temperature, which had been feverish, had not returned to normal. Donkin added that if he was sent back home to Nagpur, he should be excused, on medical grounds, from Baba's two orders about fasting on Sundays and feeding beggars, which Baba had given Nana earlier. Baba agreed to Donkin's suggestions, postponing His orders to Nana until the end of December. Such incidents illustrate the personal attention Baba paid to His close ones in the midst of His busy schedule. It also shows how particular the mandali were about carrying out Baba's orders. Baba's solicitude and concern continues to this day, in different ways, for those who sincerely try to follow Him and work for Him. October 6 turned out to be a very busy day for Baba, because this was the last date on which it was permissible for people to write letters to Him. Consequently, a lot of mail was received. Yet, in the midst of attending to various matters, Baba reminded His mandali that, beginning the following day, He would give up the use of His alphabet board, as He had announced at Meherabad. The board had been His chief means of communication for a period extending back to just after the beginning of His silence in 1925. He did not reveal, at this time, how he intended to communicate in the future. Thus, the great limitation which Baba had already placed on Himself by observing silence was now to become even more restrictive! In connection with this special event, Baba told the mandali to remain awake until midnight on October 7. Before describing the eventful meeting of the next day, in which Baba gave up the use of the alphabet board, I would like to share an interesting incident.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Adi and Rhoda Dubash were, at that time, Pakistani citizens living in Karachi. They had been recently staying in Panchgani, and, on the 6th, had come to Satara to inquire about their passports, which had been sent there for official endorsement. They had planned to return to Karachi soon. On that day, within an hour, they were out of the office, their work completed. They both knew that Baba was staying in Satara, and they looked at each other, an unspoken question in their minds. Adi shook his head, "No." Rhoda burst out, "But we have no orders from Baba not to visit Him. Only the correspondence with Him is stopped from the seventh of October! It's all right for you to shake your head. You were with Him every day for three weeks last month!" Adi agreed, reluctantly. They went to Grafton where Baba was staying. To their delight, they were told to be at Rosewood by 2:00 P.M., when Baba would see them. They both felt extremely happy and reached Rosewood some minutes before the given time. The moment Baba reached Rosewood and got out of the car, Adi and Rhoda could see that He was not pleased that they had come. His eyes flashing, He gestured, "These two people are here as though to sit on my chest!" Then He turned to Adi and gave him a light slap on the back. "You recently had the chance to be in My physical presence for three weeks. Weren't you satisfied, that you should come again now? Tell Me, it was Rhoda who brought you, wasn't it?" "Yes, Baba," Adi admitted. Baba turned to Rhoda. "Today, after three months, I had My hair washed, so I don't want you to embrace Me. If you do so, I will have to take a bath again, and I'm already feverish!" Rhoda, feeling guilty, assured Baba that she would not ask Him for an embrace. Baba instructed them further not to ask Him any question nor disturb Him, as He had much to see to. He had to give a number of last-minute instructions to the men mandali before He discarded the alphabet board the next day. "And finally," Baba added, "you will stay here only for an hour and then leave. It's two o'clock now, so you will leave at three." They both promised Baba that they would willingly do as He

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR wished, and then followed Him into the big hall. They sat on the floor in front of Him after He had taken His seat. In spite of all the intense activity and the giving of last-minute instructions to the mandali, Baba found time occasionally to joke with them, or ask questions, or cast a loving glance in their direction. During that hour, Eruch read out a letter from Shri Dixit of Kolhapur inviting Baba to inaugurate a new school for girls there. If Baba was unable to come, Shri Dixit requested that He send a message and His blessings for the occasion. Baba started dictating a message to Eruch, with special emphasis on educating the girls to become good citizens, good wives, good mothers, and, above all, lovers of God. To achieve this, they should try to be absolutely honest with themselves, others, and God. Then, with a twinkle in His eyes, Baba suddenly turned to Adi and asked, "What do you think of Rhoda? Is she a good wife?" Adi answered spontaneously, "A-one, Baba." Baba's face lit up with pleasure, and He turned to Rhoda and asked, "Is Adi a good husband?" "A-one, Baba," Rhoda said. With a look of relief, Baba turned to Eruch. "Why are you bothering Me with sending this message to the principal of the school when we have here these two living examples of what I want to convey? Why don't you just send these two people as examples of how a man and woman should be in life?" By now, the hour that had been allotted to Adi and Rhoda had almost elapsed. They were both conscious of it, but neither of them made any attempt to leave. Rhoda thought, "Baba is not saying anything; it must mean He doesn't mind our staying." Five minutes past three, ten minutes past three, fifteen past, twenty past ... and suddenly Baba turned to Adi and asked, "Are you a true Zoroastrian?" Adi was taken aback. He didn't know what Baba meant exactly. "Baba, do you mean, do I wear the sadra and kusti?" "No, I mean, do you practice good thoughts, good words, and good deeds, as laid down by Zoroaster?" Then Baba asked, "What's the time?" Adi answered, "Twenty past three, Baba." "You gave Me your word that you would leave at three.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Where is your word as a true Zoroastrian?" Rhoda interrupted, "But Baba, You didn't mind our staying." Baba shot back, "You gave Me your word that you would leave at three o'clock, and when the clock struck three, because you had given Me your word, it was for you to have stuck to it and to have gotten up. Then if I had wanted you to stay longer, I would have told you so. A Zoroastrian, once he gives his word, is honor bound to keep his jaban [word] at any cost. This is what I mean by a true Zoroastrian." Adi and Rhoda felt so ashamed that they literally hung their heads and, with one accord, got up to leave. Baba held up his hand, gesturing for them to sit again. "Now you will leave when I tell you." Later, when Baba finally did ask them to leave, He told Adi to come back on the following day before noon. Rhoda chimed in, "Baba, I will come too." Baba shook His head and said, "If you insist, I will tell Adi not to come!" Rhoda did not know that Baba was giving Adi an undisclosed invitation to attend the next day's meeting. Of course, she withdrew her request. After Rhoda and Adi had left, Baba continued with His correspondence and giving instructions for a while. He left Rosewood in Adi's car before sundown. Goodbye to the Board Thursday, October 7, was dasehra, a Hindu festival. It is one of the most auspicious days to begin any new activity. The Hindus honor different animals on specific days. Dasehra is the day for honoring horses. In keeping with the spirit of this day, Sheba, the filly, received special loving attentions from Baba and the women mandali at Grafton. During Baba's stay in Dehra Dun in 1953, Kumar had presented a smart three-month-old filly to Baba. Mehera looked after her. All of the women mandali were fond of her, and she was Mehera's favorite mare. When Baba moved from Dehra

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR Dun to Mahabaleshwar, and later to Satara, Sheba accompanied Him. She became one of Baba's "four-footed mandali" like Peter, Baba's dog. In fact, Sheba was the first occupant of the present mandali Hall at Meherazad, and stayed there until the mid-fifties. Sheba was a thoroughbred racehorse. She had a chestnutcolored coat, a white star on her forehead, and a good mane. On the morning of dasehra, the women mandali decorated her with colorful silk and yellow flower garlands and anklets, and a net of flowers was draped over her back. Baba stroked her mane and patted her sides with great affection. He and Mehera fed her carrots, while Peter, Baba's dear cocker spaniel, took full advantage of the fun to enjoy himself as well. Baba's love for animals stands out as a special phase in His life and work. Because dasehra is a festive occasion, the women mandali had put on their best saris, and Rano, the only Western woman present, wore an attractive dress. Baba, as He caught sight of her walking about in the compound, remarked that she looked like the "Queen of Sheba." It was a delightful morning for everyone. The previous day, Baba had instructed the men mandali to have a good bath on the following morning, and to wear clean clothes. Dasehra is ordinarily a feast day, but Baba ordered everyone to fast from midday to midnight. For the mandali, observing Baba's orders meant pleasing Him, whether through fast or feast. At about 2:00 P.M., Baba came to the men mandali's residence at Rosewood. He was in a happy mood and gave them a description of Sheba's festive appearance. He had brought with Him three alphabet boards in a small bag, one made of plywood, one of plastic, and the third of cardboard. When everyone had gathered around Him, Baba explained that He wished to give two of the boards to two of the men — one to Kumar and the other to Dhake. They were told to preserve them carefully. He offered Kumar the first choice. Kumar selected the board made of plywood. Dhake chose the plastic one. The

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN remaining alphabet board, made of cardboard, had one small corner piece that was almost broken off and was clinging by means of a little adhesive tape. The crack had gone directly through the zero on the board, cutting it in half. Baba conveyed to the mandali that He had been using that particular board very roughly, yet the cracked piece had somehow managed to stay connected with it. Then He tossed the board to Savak Kotwal. As Savak caught it, the loose corner piece flew off. Baba took the board back and gave it to Eruch with the instruction that it should be given to Padri at Meherabad, to be kept with the other things used by Him. Then He offered the broken piece to Savak, asking him to keep it safe until his death. After that, Baba began attending to the remaining correspondence. Eruch read out some letters, and Baba dictated replies to His dear ones. He also stated that from the next day, October 8, there would be no more letters read to Him, and no more replies. He modified this a little later, however, suggesting that He might hear the contents of certain letters, but that He would not reply. And He also reiterated that He would under no circumstances be using the board. Baba left Rosewood by four o'clock, informing the mandali that He would return by five-thirty. Baba came back to Rosewood a little earlier than expected and, as soon as He arrived, asked Savak where he had put the piece of the board that had been given to him. Savak answered that he had placed it safely in his trunk. Baba declared to him that if He had been in Savak's place, He would have made an incision in His own flesh and inserted it there. Then Baba demanded of him, "Do you really want it?" Savak replied that he would like to know the significance or importance of keeping it with him. If it was beneficial for him to retain it, he would surely keep it. Hearing this, Baba responded that keeping it would create great havoc! Savak said, "If that is the case, it means that it is harmful for me to have it." He was on the point of expressing his wish to return the little piece when Baba cut him off, "You were a fool to have asked Me such a question!" Baba then

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR ordered Savak to bring it from his trunk and then handed it to Eruch with instructions that it also be given to Padri, along with the alphabet board. Baba asked all present to wash their faces, hands, and feet. As the mandali were leaving the hall, He also told Pendu and Eruch to post the servants and workers on the premises as watchmen on the bungalow's four sides. They were to be very strict in following Baba's order not to allow anyone to come inside. Soon everyone had regathered in Baba's presence, and the doors were closed. During special meetings, Baba often ordered the doors and windows to be closed to indicate that the event had started. There were, in all, twenty men present in addition to Baba. They were Gustadji, Kaikobad, Baidul, Pendu, Eruch, Kumar, Savak, Nilu, Vishnu, Bhau, Meherjee, Krishna Nair, Aloba, Kohiyar, Dhake, Adi Dubash, Sam Kerawala, and three other mandali. Baba's brother Jal had come in the morning. Baba had given him the option of attending this special program, but Jal had decided to leave Rosewood early that same day. Noting his absence, Baba commented that it was not in Jal's lot to be present at this important meeting. On the other hand, two unexpected participants — Adi Dubash and Sam Kerawala — were present on the occasion. Both of them had known nothing about this meeting. By chance, they visited Baba at Rosewood on October 6, and He had graciously extended them the invitation. The expected becomes impossible, and the unexpected, possible! Incomprehensible are the ways of the Avatar! At the start of the meeting, Baba wished to offer homage to His five Perfect Masters by way of bowing down to everyone present. Each man was to come forward and put his foot on a small stool. Baba would then bow to him and touch His forehead to his foot as the man repeated the names of Baba's five Perfect Masters. The names were to be repeated in a specific order: O Sai Baba, Upasni Maharaj, Babajan, Tajuddin Baba, Narayan Maharaj! Gustadji was the first in line, and Kaikobad the last. At Baba's signal, the men came forward and placed a foot on the stool, over which a white sheet had been spread. It was

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN stressed that the order of the names of Baba's Masters was not to be altered, and that if anyone made a mistake, he should begin again. Krishna Nair had some difficulty in this respect, being so awestruck that his memory repeatedly failed him. Baba had to place His forehead on his foot, with great gravity, more than twice. Then He placed His forehead on the bare stool, and indicated that the men should say loudly, in chorus, each Master's name when He raised His finger. This had to be done twice, as the first time the names were not recited in unison or in the proper order. The atmosphere in the hall was extremely solemn and charged with Baba's divinity. Baba washed His hands and asked Gustadji and Kaikobad to stand on either side of Him. He asked them to hold His arms, and He folded His palms (in namaskar) to offer a prayer. It was now a quarter to seven. As Baba had previously instructed, Eruch read aloud the following prayer, which had been dictated by Baba. The other men stood in silence. On behalf of Beloved Baba, Eruch read: O Sai Baba, Upasni Maharaj, Babajan, Tajuddin Baba, and Narayan Maharaj, you, the five in One and the One in five, the Divine Beings, representing the Absolute One, I bow to you in Perfect Homage. It is due to you, five Men-God, that I am what I am — the Ancient One, the Everlasting One. May the Beloved God with Whom you five are One, and for Whom you five are working universally, give Me, in your names, the strength, power, and wisdom to fulfill all that I have taken this form for; and to see that all I have declared at the last Meherabad Meeting comes to pass. I now give up using the alphabet board, it being My gesture before God for the breaking of My silence soon. Baba looked intensely radiant while the prayer was being read. At times He moved His folded palms as though addressing and invoking God the Almighty through His five Perfect Masters. Though He seemed pleased with the first reading, He asked Eruch to read the prayer a second time. Then He

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR asked each man present to say aloud, "Parabrahma," "Paramatma," "Ya Yezdan," "Ahuramazda," "Allah-hu-Akbar," or "God Almighty," each according to his religion. At the end of this invocation to God, Baba placed His alphabet board on the little stool. It was now 7:00 P.M.; Baba gestured that from that moment He had permanently discarded the use of the board and would not use it again. Baba appeared satisfied at the close of the meeting and, through His gestures, which the mandali had already learned to interpret, conveyed, "All has gone well, and everything will also be well." It was Baba's day of farewell to His longtime companion. Some had compared Baba's use of the board to Lord Krishna's playing of His flute. According to Baba's earlier instructions, some recordings of His favorite ghazals were now played. Baba tried to explain some of the lines through gestures, but this proved to be difficult, both for Him and for the others. From time to time he asked someone in the group to tell Him a joke. There was a short break at 10:00 P.M., and then the record playing continued. Baba left Rosewood for Grafton at about midnight. The next day, when Baba came to Rosewood, the familiar board was not at His side. Internal Link with Baba — the Eternally Existent This narration of the events of October 7 will remain incomplete if I fail to mention an incident that occurred, not in Satara, but on the other side of the world, in the United States. This was the unexpected passing away of one of Baba's dear ones, Malcolm Schloss. He belonged to the first group of Baba's American disciples who met Him in 1931. Malcolm and Jean Adriel had been Baba's hosts at the fine, cozy summer house in Harmon-onHudson, forty miles from New York City. In September of 1954, Malcolm had stayed at Meherabad on the Hill with some of Baba's American, English, and Australian followers. At the beginning of this period, Baba instructed

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Charles Purdom, a renowned British author, and Malcolm, a noted mystical poet, to keep a diary of Baba's daily visits to them, including a brief description of the "Final Declaration" Meeting. Both men followed Baba's instruction diligently. On his way back to the West Coast of America, Malcolm stopped to visit Charles in France to put the final touches on this written account. On his way to California from Europe, Malcolm made an additional stop on the East Coast, in New York. It was here, on October 7, while staying in a friend's vacant apartment, that he died, apparently from a slip and fall. Baba was informed about his death by the New York group, and, from Satara, He directed Meherjee to send the following cable: Inform all concerned that most fortunate Malcolm passed away from you all on most important day of seventh [October] in unique circumstances, after embracing Baba and completing Baba's work. Meherjee (by order of Meher Baba) Ivy Duce, one of Meher Baba's American disciples, described her last visit with Malcolm Schloss on the evening before he passed away. She had felt a strong inner prompting to go to New York, and felt it must be a prodding from Baba. She rushed to the airport in Washington, D.C., which was her residence at that time, and flew to New York, where she called Fred and Ella Winterfeldt to see if there was any Baba news. They were just leaving for the airport to pick up Malcolm Schloss. They mentioned to her that Malcolm had been in France with Charles Purdom completing their account of the "Three Incredible Weeks." And they informed her that Malcolm was going to stay in a friend's vacant apartment. Hearing this, Mrs. Duce felt an impulse to contact Malcolm and managed to reach him by telephone several hours later. She invited him to have dinner with her and her daughter, Charmian, who was living in New York at that time. Malcolm accepted the invitation happily. When they met, he told them, "It's strange that you should be here, for it has saved me a trip

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR to Washington. The last thing that Baba told me was to be sure to go to Ivy Duce's and give her and Charmian each a message." 2 He delivered Baba's personal messages to them during their dinner, and then returned to the apartment. Mrs. Duce flew back to Washington the following day. That evening she was surprised by a phone call from the Winterfeldts, informing her that Malcolm had been found dead in his friend's apartment. She felt grieved, but also understood why she had felt such a prompting to go to New York. Beloved Baba's messages had to be received by her and Charmian, and, at the same time, Malcolm had to obey Baba's last order to him. In His own ways, Baba had helped them all to fulfill His wish. It is also worth noting that after Ivy left, Malcolm met with Filis Frederick, the editor of The Awakener. At that time Malcolm gave her the manuscript for Three Incredible Weeks with Meher Baba. This heartwarming, profound account was published in a special issue of The Awakener (Vol. II, No. 3). By the time Baba returned to Satara, there was a large amount of mail waiting for Him. Many lovers expressed their dire concern over Baba's "Final Declaration," which alluded to the "imminent dropping" of His body. Baba did not reply to these letters individually, but rather decided to send a letter on October 8, in Hindi, to be circulated among His dear ones in the Hamirpur area. The letter was sent through Bhau Kalchuri, one of the resident mandali. It was mailed to Keshav Nigam, who was instructed to circulate the letter to Baba lovers in the Hindi-speaking areas of India. A copy of this letter was also sent to Dr. Deshmukh to be translated into English. The English version was read out to Baba and, upon receiving His approval, was given to Adi K. Irani to be mailed out to Andhra and other states where Hindi is not spoken. This particular letter became especially vital and significant to His lovers all over the world when, in 1969, the Avatar — the infinitely conscious, active Consciousness — put aside the physical form known to us as Meher Baba. The letter is addressed by Meher Baba to all His dear ones,

2

How a Master Works, p. 197.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN and the relevant text is given below: Dear Lovers, ... There is no reason at all for any of you to worry. Baba was, Baba is, and Baba will also be eternally existent. Severance of external relations does not mean the termination of internal connection. The external contacts have been maintained till now. The time has now come for being bound in the chain of internal connections. Hence, external contact is no longer necessary. It is possible to establish the internal link by obeying Baba's orders. I give you all My blessings for strengthening these internal links. I am always with you, and I am not away from you. I was, am, and will remain eternally with you, and it is for promoting this realization that I have severed external contact. This will enable all persons to realize Truth by being bound to each other by internal links. Oh My lovers! I love you all. It is only because of My Love for My creation that I have descended on earth. Let not your hearts be torn asunder by My declaration concerning the dropping of My body. On the contrary, accept My Divine Will cheerfully. You can never escape from Me. Even if you try to escape from Me, it is not possible to get rid of Me. Therefore, have courage and be brave. If you thus lose heart, how will it be possible for you to fulfill the great task which I have entrusted to you? Be brave and spread My message of Love far and wide to all quarters, in order to fulfill My Divine Will. Let the words "Baba-Baba" come forth from every nook and corner of the world and from the mouth of every child, and let their ignorance be reduced to ashes by the burning flame of My Love. Come together in order to fulfill My Will by taking your stand on Truth, Love and Honesty, and be worthy of participating in My Task. I give you all My blessings for spreading My Message of Love. 3 Meher Baba There was no detailed report circulated at the time about

3

Letters from the Mandali of Avatar Meher Baba, pp. 139-40.

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR Baba's permanently discarding the alphabet board. Instead, under Baba's instructions, Adi printed and mailed the following short circular for the information of His followers: On and from October 7, 1954, onwards, no one should correspond with Baba. On and from the same day Baba will not give, when asked for, darshan or interview to anyone. 4 Thus, from October 8, a new phase in Baba's external activities and inner spiritual work commenced. As mentioned earlier, in the letter addressed to His dear ones, Meher Baba had indicated that any of His lovers can establish an internal link with the Eternal One — the Avatar — by leading a normal life in which all thoughts, words, and deeds are dedicated to Him. Gadge Maharaj Invites Meher Baba In Marathi, gadge is a type of earthen pot. Gadge Maharaj, a wellknown saint of Maharashtra, used to wear one half of such a pot as his headgear, hence the name. Before taking his meals, he would remove this hat and have buttermilk poured into it. Then pieces of jowar (millet) bread would be added. Being an old man for whom chewing was difficult, he would wait for some time for the bits of bread to become soggy and soft before eating. Following his meal, he would wash the pot with his own hands and place it back on his head. He was clad in a coarse cloak stitched together from old rags which he had collected on the road. Gadge Maharaj had a radiant face and fiery eyes. He wore an earring in each ear, one made from a copper coin of the lowest denomination, and the other from a cowrie, a small shell. Once one of my friends asked him about their significance. Touching the coin, he replied in a serious voice, "The world goes after this," meaning worldly riches. Then, touching the other earring, he added, "But the worth of all such worldly possessions is much less than a cowrie." And with the innocence of a child, he laughed wholeheartedly. Gadge Maharaj's way of life reminds me, to some extent, of

4

Life Circular, No. 21, October 7, 1954.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Saint Francis of Assisi, "the non-plaster saint." Gadge loved poor villagers. He danced and sang the glories of God with them. When he would visit a village for a program of kirtan, the first thing he would do was to sweep the entire area clean with the help of his devotees, silently repeating the name of God. He would not take food in a village where he had performed kirtan. He would not allow people to touch his feet in expression of their respect for him, and would keep anyone at bay who tried to do so with a stick which he carried with him. Gadge's devotees had established an institution in his name to spread his message of loving God by leading a pure life of selfless service. They had constructed a number of large buildings in Nasik and Pandharpur to provide accommodations for pilgrims. Gadge Maharaj was one of the most revered saints of Maharashtra. On September 12, 1954, during Baba's glorious darshan, Gadge sat near Baba's feet, helping Him to give prasad to the thousands who had gathered in Wadia Park. The next day, September 13, Gadge Maharaj came to Meherazad for a private visit. Baba gave him an audience happily. Gadge declared, "Baba, great is Your glory! You are like the resplendent Sun, while I am like the dimly lighted wick of a chimney [small tin lamp]." Baba had disclosed to His disciples earlier that Gadge Maharaj was a real saint, so his humility in the presence of the Avatar had a touching charm. He continued, "Baba, now I am old; I feel very tired. Please allow me to stay with You. I will do whatever household work You give me. My needs are few, and I shall not be a burden to You. My diet is mostly bhakri [millet bread] and any kind of dhal [lentil] or buttermilk." This brought a smile to Baba's face, and His eyes sparkled with deep vitality; He seemed greatly amused, and also pleased, with Gadge's proposition. Nevertheless, Baba asked him to continue with his work of enlightening people through his kirtans. In response to this, the saint put forth another request, that Baba pay a visit to Pandharpur, where thousands of pilgrims assemble twice a year for the darshan of Lord Krishna in the form of Vithoba (also known as Vithhal or Pandurang). Baba agreed to this willingly, leaving the exact

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR date for the visit to be fixed at a later time. I have only recorded the external aspect of this conversation between the Avatar — the infinitely conscious One — and a saint who was feeling God's presence everywhere. Baba alone knew the deeper spiritual significance of this contact. Baba had always expressed a special interest in Gadge. Even while still a student at Deccan College in 1912, he had attended Gadge's kirtan, and was deeply impressed by his love for God and the moving simplicity of his language. On September 13, 1954, Baba did not visit Meherabad. Sahavas for the Westerners commenced from the 14th. The "Final Declaration" Meeting ended on the last day of September. In the first week of October, Baba left Meherazad for Satara, which had been His headquarters since June 1954. Two weeks later, on October 16, Baba left on a mast tour in the Chevrolet which Adi kept at His disposal for this purpose. He was accompanied by three disciples, with Eruch serving as driver. The first stop was in Belgaum, in the state of Karnataka. Baba had stayed here in October of 1949 during the New Life. From there He journeyed to Kolhapur, in Maharashtra, and then returned to Satara on October 22. Baba expressed His satisfaction about His contacts with these highly evolved souls, the masts, who, in their boundless trust in God, were oblivious to the gross realities. I recollect Baba saying on one occasion, "They, the masts, are my dear children. I am drawn to them, and I help them in their spiritual journey to God, and these contacts help Me in My universal spiritual work." During Baba's stay in Satara, two of His disciples, Adi and Sarosh, kept track of Gadge Maharaj's itinerary. On November 1, they went to visit him in Bombay. Gadge happily extended an invitation to Baba to visit Pandharpur on the afternoon of November 6 (Kartiki Ekadashi, the eleventh day of the Hindu month of Kartik) and the morning of the 7th. Adi immediately sent word to Baba about this, and by the time he had returned to Ahmednagar he had already received Baba's confirmation on the dates along with some instructions. There was no time to inform Baba lovers in other states

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN about Baba's visit to Pandharpur, and, in fact, Baba had wished to keep this visit to Pandharpur only for the mass of pilgrims who annually gather to glorify Lord Vithoba through bhajans and kirtans. However, under Baba's general instructions, Adi sent me a telegram informing me that I was allowed to be in Baba's sahavas during His visit to Pandharpur. Pandharpur was only thirty miles from my hometown. This permission came to me like an unexpected shower of Baba's loving grace, drenching my heart. To be with Him was to witness Divine Love in action. On the morning of November 6, Sarosh drove Baba from Satara to Pandharpur. Gustadji, Eruch, Pendu, Bhau, Meherjee, and Nariman accompanied Him in two cars. A group of Baba lovers from Ahmednagar (Rangole, L. B. Thade, Bhagirath, and a few others), not wishing to miss this opportunity to be in Baba's company, arranged for a jeep and drove to Pandharpur. Baba arrived by 3:30 P.M., and agreed to stop briefly at Aradhye Patil's bungalow on the outskirts of town. It was here that the Ahmednagar party met and greeted Baba, the Beloved of their hearts. Baba appeared to be in an excellent mood, and He allowed each of them to embrace Him. But as Thade approached, Baba gestured, "Why did you come? Have you taken leave from your job?" Thade was not prepared for these questions. "Your coming has bothered Me," Baba continued. The group was mystified by this. Thade alone understood the meaning of Baba's words, and he was on the verge of weeping. A year or two earlier Baba had casually instructed Thade not to come for His darshan without obtaining official leave. At this time, Thade was working as a social welfare officer in Ahmednagar. On this particular day, on the spur of the moment, he joined the group and left Ahmednagar without seeking official permission. This was against Baba's order, and with Baba, the Avatar, there are no distinctions between small orders and big ones; a small order, as much as a big one, expresses the wish of the Infinite One intended for the ultimate good of the individual concerned. Seeing Thade's dejection, a look of compassion came over

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR Baba's face, and He gestured, "Don't worry now; forget what has happened; I have forgiven you. Don't do such a thing again." No one else understood what was happening. Later, Thade related that, upon his return to Ahmednagar, he found an important letter on his desk awaiting special attention. It was from the Regional Head Office, Nasik. The assistant director had planned to visit Ahmednagar on November 6, and expressly wished that Thade be present. However, for some reason he had been forced to cancel his visit. When Thade learned this, he understood what Baba had meant: "Your coming has bothered Me." After accepting Baba as the Perfect Master, even if His lovers were to disobey Him unknowingly, Baba took the harmful effects and the resultant suffering upon Himself. He referred to this as an "additional botheration." This incident provided Thade with a lesson that lasted for the rest of his life. After that, he never came for Baba's darshan or sahavas without obtaining official permission from his superior officer. To continue, Eruch relates: He [Baba] then sent word to Gadge Maharaj that Vithoba, in person, had reached Pandharpur and was completely at his disposal for the full period of His stay of twenty-four hours; and that Vithoba would do exactly as Maharaj desired Him to do, on condition, of course, that Maharaj did not ask Him to break His silence or use the alphabet board, which He had stopped using since the 7th of October, 1954. Also that Maharaj must not request Him to take food or to sleep that night because He had decided to take neither food nor rest, but to make Himself available, as much as possible, to the pilgrims there. On hearing that Baba had arrived, Gadge Maharaj at once prepared to receive Baba at his own dharamshala — a spacious building built to accommodate and give shelter and comfort to the thousands of pilgrims who come to Pandharpur. 5

5

The Awakener, Vol. II, No. 4 (Spring 1985), p. 2.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Baba, the Living Vithoba, in Pandharpur The lodging and boarding arrangements for Baba, the mandali, and His devotees from Poona and Ahmednagar were made near the railway station in a hostel built for the children of those in the Indian military service. The schools were closed for two weeks, due to the Kartiki Fair, so some of the rooms were available for Baba and His group. Those who were to help in the darshan arrangements had arrived in Pandharpur by midday. While we were milling around Gadge Maharaj's dharamshala, we got the news from one of the mandali about Baba's special message to Gadge and the time of His expected arrival in the city. Thousands of people from different parts of Maharashtra had already come, and the roads of the city were teeming with pilgrims bearing ocher-colored triangular flags. The three-story building of Gadge's dharamshala was full to bursting. Baba arrived at 5:00 P.M. and was warmly received by Gadge Maharaj. Gadge led Baba into the large, open courtyard. There was a small shrine to Lord Vithoba on one of the interior verandas of the courtyard, and Gadge had placed a chair near the entrance to it for Baba. With folded hands, Gadge asked Baba to take His seat. When Baba sat down, the statue of Vithoba was concealed from the view of the pilgrims sitting in front of Him. Was this an indirect, divine indication to them that the living Vithoba was in their midst? Gadge told the pilgrims that Meher Baba was the Jagat Guru (Master of the World) in the true sense, for He was spiritually serving the whole world. He continued, "People journey thousands of miles to have Meher Baba's darshan. But you are really fortunate, for He came here from Satara to offer you a unique chance of being in His personal presence. Make the most of this opportunity offered to you by wholeheartedly taking His darshan." He ended his speech by calling out, "Meher Baba Ki Jai!" Then followed Gadge's favorite and popular chanting of God's name, with the pilgrims joining him in the chorus: "Gopala, Gopala Devaki Nandan Gopala" (All glory to Krishna, the son of Devaki). Darshan continued for

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR over an hour. Baba looked humanly happy and divinely radiant. Gadge stood near Baba throughout the program, telling people not to rush, but to offer their respects wholeheartedly to the Jagat Guru. Before leaving the dharamshala, Baba asked Gadge about the next program. "As you please, Baba," Gadge answered. With a look of surprise Baba gestured, "Did you not receive My message? In Pandharpur, I am at your disposal; take Me wherever you want." Gadge repeated, "Baba, it shall be done as You wish." Baba responded with a smile, "Then I want to leave Pandharpur for Satara by midnight!" Startled, the saint replied, "No, no! We will go to the sands of Chandrabhaga at 10:00 P.M. It is there that I shall request You to bless the thousands of pilgrims — the devotees of Vithoba. The next morning, I will take You to a dharamshala for the Harijans and also to visit an asylum for the lepers whom You dearly love." Baba conveyed, "Good! Granted!" And He lovingly caressed Gadge's face. It was about 6:00 P.M. when Baba left the place with His people for the Military Hostel. Reaching there, He took His seat in the open under a flagpost and asked the Poona party to sing bhajans. Madhusudan was inspired to compose a new song in Marathi — Aaho aala peha deo ala, Avatar aala ... (Lo and behold, here comes God in human form as the Avatar. Let us hasten to have His darshan). The tune and meaning of the song touched the hearts of those present, and Baba also liked the composition, remarking, "What is mentioned in the song is true." This became a favorite song, which Baba sometimes requested Madhusudan to sing on other occasions. But one of the most prominent impressions of that evening was the absence of Baba's longtime companion, the alphabet board, which we all missed. Baba conversed with people using only His descriptive hand gestures and lovely facial expressions. Given below is an account based on my unedited notes, taken thirty-five years ago. The conversations mentioned here were carried on informally, mostly in Marathi and Gujarati, though sometimes in English as well. The text is not verbatim, and reflects my own understanding, then and now. Baba's

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN resplendence and artistic gestures have etched themselves on my heart, and have become my wings to fly back in time. Incidentally, this was the second time (the first being in Kakinada, Andhra) that I spent an entire night with Baba. As it was November, the night quickly grew chilly. Baba moved inside to a large room, where He sat on a mattress covered with a white bedsheet. His dear ones, too, went inside. A person casually opening the conversation said, "Baba, from now on, You have stopped giving darshan. Will you please guide us today as to how to lead a spiritual life?" Baba gestured, "Simple: forget yourself, remember Me, love Me. This will help not only you, but anyone, to lead a spiritual life." Another in the group said, "Baba, we try to do this, but often we fail in our attempts." At this point Baba asked Eruch to relate the answer that Baba had given when someone asked Him a similar question in the Hamirpur District. The gist of this was: "I [Baba] tell you to love Me because I am the Ocean of Love; I am everywhere, in each drop. So it is given to every drop to participate in My divine sport and to find its way of loving Me. Honest and wholehearted efforts will help you to find your personal path leading to Me." Another person opened his heart: "Intellectually we understand what You have conveyed, but our attachments are so compelling that we are stuck in worldly things." Baba consoled him: "My loving remembrance will gradually awaken discrimination in you which will give you the required strength. Just think how many times you have assumed male and female forms, how many children you have had, how much you have worried over this and that; it was all self-created. If you think you are bound, bound you are. With trust in Me, if you think you are free, free you are. Don't lose heart. Remember Me and love Me more and more." And then He added, "But loving Me is not as easy as eating sweets [laddoos]." After answering a few more questions, Baba conveyed, "On October 7, when I discarded the board, I declared that I would not give any spiritual discourses or explanations, so what I just conveyed to you was against My statement. So I order Gustadji

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR to slap Me on both cheeks." Gustadji obeyed Baba literally. Some felt shocked, some were startled, but Baba gestured, "Now I feel all right." At this point He ordered everyone to leave for supper. When they returned from their meal, tea was served, and everyone was informed of Baba's instruction to stay awake the whole night. "No sleep!" When everyone had gathered again back in Baba's room, He asked that the singing be continued. Shortly before 10:00 P.M. a message came from Gadge that Baba should come to the dharamshala on His way to visit the great gathering of pilgrims assembled on the sands of the Chandrabhaga. When the car reached the dharamshala, Gadge Maharaj got in and, in a very reverential manner, sat next to Baba. By the time Baba reached the banks of the river, over fifty thousand pilgrims were listening to the kirtan and eagerly awaiting His arrival. On that moonlit night of Ekadashi, Gadge led Baba to the improvised platform, and a profound silence prevailed over the multitude. Standing hand in hand with Baba, Gadge addressed the crowd over the microphone: "You have no idea how fortunate you are at this moment to be in the physical presence of the Jagat Guru. Meher Baba is the living Vithoba. ... Also you cannot imagine how happy I am to have Meher Baba near me!" Baba raised His two hands and joined His palms in namaskar, saluting His own Self in the thousands who were seated before Him. This was a unique darshan in the sense that Baba looked at the people and they gazed at Him in silence. No one from the crowd was allowed to come close for Baba's touch. Two of Baba's disciples gave a brief talk on the life and work of Avatar Meher Baba. Then two of Gadge's disciples performed kirtan. After midnight, Gadge led Baba carefully through the crowd to His car. At Baba's invitation he got in with Him. To quote from Eruch's account of what happened: As the car moved on towards the dharamshala, Gadge Maharaj joined his hands and, turning to Baba, said that he was too old now to do any more work; if Baba would

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN keep him with Him, he would not be a burden to Him, and a piece of bread and a garment would be all he would require. On hearing this Baba felt touched and amused. He smiled lovingly and embraced Gadge Maharaj warmly. Later Baba told the mandali that the real meaning of Gadge Maharaj's words could not be understood by any other than Baba. He said that Gadge Maharaj was indeed a perfect saint in the real sense of the word. 6 Gadge got out of the car at the big door of the dharamshala, and Sarosh drove Baba to the Hostel. Reaching there, Baba again asked everyone to have a cup of tea; He took just a sip. As wished by Him, the whole group soon reassembled in the large room. Baba was in a very informal, relaxed mood. On such occasions His radiance seemed to burst out of Him. Everyone present felt very close to Him. He conveyed, "I like Gadge Maharaj, I am very happy today!" Baba also mentioned casually that Gadge would soon drop His body and come to Him to enjoy eternal bliss, and, in fact, he died in 1956. It was about 2:00 A.M., and the group, under Baba's instruction, was staying awake for the entire night. Baba was pleased to relate something about His own experience following His contact with Hazrat Babajan. Through His gestures Baba reminisced that after the first embrace from Babajan something like an electric current passed through His body from head to foot. He experienced thrills of indescribable bliss for a period of nine months. Then one day Babajan looked deep into His eyes and kissed Him on the forehead between the two eyebrows. This awakened Baba to His "Ancient One State" of being infinitely conscious of Himself as God. Nothing else existed for Him. However, for His work as the Avatar of the Age, He had to regain His normal human consciousness — for God to function as the God-Man. This precipitated another period of nine months when he endured excruciating infinite agonies — the beginning of the process of "coming down." From this time, He began to hit His head hard on the stone floor of His room, causing blood to flow, but nevertheless bringing Him some

6

Ibid., p. 7.

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR relief. This painful process of coming down continued for nearly seven years until Upasni Maharaj established Him in full normal consciousness. During this period, Baba once witnessed many universes coming out of Him, universes within universes. He had many astounding experiences of this kind. In conclusion, Baba related, "Well, after the 7th of October, I was not supposed to say anything about the spiritual states, but I have conveyed this." And with a smile He gestured, "Take it as 'Baba's soliloquy,' and that I did not tell you anything." Baba was still in a mood for communication, and He continued, "For every individual there is no other way but to come to Me. Once you realize God, you experience Him as Eternal Existence; there, time does not exist. Until that moment you feel bound. My one look of grace is enough to free you from all such bindings. But I have that 'bad habit' of casting that glance very rarely! Once you experience Self-realization [God-realization], it is perennial: first anand [bliss] and then follows dnyan [knowledge] and power. Anand, dnyan, and power [three-in-one] are within everyone." Baba now changed the subject and told the gathering that whatever He had to say to His followers and to the world had been stated by Him in the Final Declaration. He asked some of those present whether they believed in what He had declared. Some told Him frankly that it was difficult for them to accept the message literally. Concerning the destruction, some alluded to such visible signs as floods and earthquakes that were mentioned in the newspapers. Baba remarked, both cryptically and casually, "It will be different in nature and kind." He also cautioned His followers to tell others only what they themselves honestly felt. Throughout the night Baba seemed to be in a lively mood. In the early hours of the morning He asked Rustom Kaka, Madhusudan, and Dattu to sing bhajans, and soon the room began to reverberate with the rapturous melodies of devotional songs. Adi sang some ghazals, accompanying himself on the harmonium. In one of these the poet warns the lover: "O Lover, before Union with the Beloved, one has to swim

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN through seas of fire. Beware!" At about five in the morning Baba ordered a break so that people could wash and use the toilet. Baba Himself, however, did not leave the room, and Eruch began to carefully comb His hair. This done, the hair was braided into a plait. Eruch then assisted Baba in washing His face. During part of this recess I was standing near the door so that I could observe this scene and Baba's graceful movements. To me, Baba looked resplendent. The brilliance of His forehead had always been the focal point of my attention. His eyes sparkled, and whenever He closed them, it was as though He had withdrawn Himself from the world. Baba smoothed back His combed hair with His palms and seemed satisfied with His appearance. The uplifting feeling of bliss in Baba's physical presence, and the peace that permeated His surroundings, cannot be adequately described. Whenever the Avatar puts on the cloak of the physical body, His beauty is the reflection of the Divine Beauty of which He is the source. Tea was served at six o'clock. Everyone felt refreshed, and we were ready for the morning program. At about seven o'clock, Baba put on a pink jacket over His white sadra and left in the car with Sarosh. Gadge joined Him on the station road and led the car to the Harijan dharamshala (a place where free residence was offered to the so-called "low caste" people). The saints of Maharashtra have been exhorting the masses to eradicate the caste system since the sixteenth century, and Gadge continued in this tradition. Gadge taught that all are equal in the eyes of God. Because of his special love for the Harijans, he showed great concern for their comfort during their pilgrimage to Pandharpur. Upon reaching the dharamshala, Baba sat down on the open ground in a central area. As He leaned back against a low parapet, someone placed an ocher-colored flag (of the type that is carried by devotees of Vithoba on pilgrimage) next to Baba so that its staff rested on His shoulder. Baba looked like the perfect warkari (devotee of Vithoba) and Vithoba Himself in one. Baba gave Gadge a look, showing that he was happy to have been brought there. Because time was short, Gadge

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DISCARDING THE BOARD AND VISIT TO PANDHARPUR requested the pilgrims to greet Baba collectively from a distance. Baba blessed them all by folding His hands. On the way to the leper colony, Baba got out of the car and stood for a while watching the hundreds of people bathing in the Chandrabhaga (also called Bhima). Unbeknownst to them, they were thus sanctified and bathed by the blessed nazar of the Avatar. As the cars reached the leper colony, it was noticed that the place was practically deserted. The lepers had gone out to the various parts of the city to collect alms from the pilgrims. However, one leper who was very ill and had been unable to move about became the luckiest of them all, for he was bathed that day by the Avatar. After bathing him, Baba dried his body and offered him new clothes. Baba loved serving lepers, and this was one of the conditions He had made for agreeing to visit Pandharpur. On that day, one "beautiful bird" in an "ugly cage" got new wings to soar high in his journey to God. This concluded Baba's program. However, on His way back to Satara He agreed to visit the two ashrams of Gadge's disciples. In the car, Baba told Gadge that soon He intended to give His real darshan to the world, but that the saint should not try to see Baba again. A group of Baba's followers was waiting for Him at the hostel on the station road. Baba gave a farewell pat to each of them and lovingly gestured, "Keep happy; I am with you." Then, responding to His signal, the car sped off to Satara. I reached my hometown by noon. Almost four decades have now flown by since that time. But the charm of Baba's movements and expressions, which He allowed me to behold on the morning of November 7, as Eruch was attending Him, blossoms in my memory whenever I think of them. These glimpses of the "Living Vithoba" are Baba's unfading Pandharpur gifts to me.

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION 1954 ~ PART XX 1955 ~ PART I Declaration Clarified Meher Baba reached Satara by the evening of November 7. The next morning He visited Rosewood, the residence of the men mandali. During the general conversation, the subject of the Pandharpur visit came up. Baba greatly appreciated Gadge's love for Him. Then, moving on to another topic, He referred to His dear ones who had openly expressed their inability to understand His Declaration. Some had been shocked by the unexpected events mentioned at the end of the Declaration; others were worried that if things didn't happen precisely as Baba had outlined, people would begin to doubt His Divinity. During the previous night at Pandharpur, Baba had conveyed, as far as I remember, "Don't worry about people criticizing Me or doubting Me or My status as the Avatar ... I experience Myself as being in everyone and everything, and beyond them too. I am what I am. So forget others; I want you to find out for yourselves where you stand in accepting Me and My Words." Baba's words bring to my mind an Urdu couplet which He used to quote sometimes in small gatherings. When freely translated it reads, "The Master says, 'My effulgence emanates from every point in creation towards My real abode. And I keenly watch for any who, overcoming complacency and self-sufficiency, dare to come close to the Fire of My being.’” During this visit to the mandali on the morning of November 8, Baba used hand gestures to explain certain points mentioned in His Declaration. For the benefit of His lovers, this explanation was later circulated to them under the title "Clarification." The major part is given below: It is really very difficult for anyone to believe and

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION understand what I say, because none can grasp the meaning underlying My words. It is natural even for My intimate mandali not to understand My Final Declaration; but I want you to take everything that I said in Meherabad during the meetings very seriously, because all that I said was the Truth, they were the words of God, and all the things said must come to pass exactly in the manner described by Me. From the day I declared in Meherabad that there will be the destruction of three-fourths of the world, that a strange disease will attack My body, that I will suffer humiliation, that I will break My silence and speak one word, the Word of words, that there will be My Glorification, and that finally I will drop My body when I shall be stabbed in the back, My lovers and others have been unnecessarily confused, and they all have been trying to interpret My words in different ways. Everyone is free to interpret My words in any way they think and feel. But one thing I tell you, that whenever I say a thing, I naturally use My own language, and whatsoever is said by Me is Truth. But My language is such that none can understand or grasp the underlying meaning of what I say; therefore, when I want to say a thing, I have simultaneously to make use of your language also, knowing well that you would understand nothing whatsoever if I were to make use of My language alone. In order to help you to understand My Final Declaration, and to put an end to your confusion and worry, I want all of you to know that when you saw Me dictate on My alphabet board during the meetings at Meherabad, and heard about: 1) A strange disease attacking My body: It was said in your language. 2) The humiliation that I will suffer: It was said in your language. 3) The breaking of My silence and My uttering the one Word of words: It was said in My own language and simultaneously in yours, because when I utter that

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Word it will be an audible word to you. 4) My Glorification: It was said simultaneously in My language and yours. 5) The destruction of three-fourths of the world: It was said in My own language alone. 6) The stab in My back: It was said in My own language alone. 7) The dropping of My body: It was said in My own language and simultaneously in yours. Consequently, whatever is said by Me in your language, you are able to understand and know what is said, but that which is said in My own language is impossible for you to understand, however much you all may try to interpret and grasp the underlying meaning behind the words. Only the fulfillment of events can unfold to you, in due course, the meaning of what is said in My own language . . . 1 In the above Clarification, points 5 and 6 pertain to the destruction of three-fourths of the world and the stab in the back. Herein, it should be carefully noted that Baba has stated clearly that these points were conveyed in His language alone — the language of the Universal Mind. Hence, there is no possibility of the limited intellect comprehending their import, and so it is of no use trying to speculate about their significance. Points 3, 4, and 7 — the breaking of Baba's silence, the glorification, and the dropping of His body — were stated simultaneously in Baba's language and in ours. Therefore, everyone is free to have his or her own interpretation of them. Such interpretations, however, will only have personal value and will be practically negligible compared with the real meaning, which only the Avatar knows. Points 1 and 2, concerning the strange disease and the Avatar's humiliation, are expressed in our language, meaning, presumably, that they are understandable in ordinary terms, but in a variety of ways. Those who know of Baba's extraordinary physical suffering, especially in the last days, know that

1

Life Circular, No. 22, November 20, 1954.

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION it was indeed a strange, undiagnosed disease from which He suffered. And Baba once conveyed to those near Him that while they should try to do their best to alleviate His condition, He alone knew the true cause of the disease — it was due to His universal suffering, which was to release the tide of His grace. Did not Jesus drink the cup of suffering and say, "Now is the Son of man glorified"? Humiliation is the tax that Infinite Consciousness pays for assuming a finite human form. The Avatar, in spite of living amongst mankind as Man and showering His unconditional love and compassion on humanity, is never accepted the way He should be. That is His humiliation. Scholars sit in judgment over statements made by Him in Divine Honesty, and people, judging Him by their limited motives, criticize and scoff at Him. Yet, in His compassion for one and all, He uses even these strong reactions as one of His ways of drawing people to Him in His own time. For me, "language" was not the real issue in understanding Baba's statements. After all, what is language but the verbal communication of nonverbal thoughts and feelings? There is always a great deal that language is incapable of communicating. This is infinitely true about communication between the God-Man and His lovers. To use a simile, we may know a great deal about an illustrious scientist as a man from his likes and dislikes, and understand him as a human personality. But when he begins to explain his abstract theories based on his research, it may all go over our heads. How infinitely more true this must be about the life of the God-Man. Here I am reminded of one of Baba's favorite couplets of Hafiz, wherein he says: About what you hear from the Master, never say it is wrong, because, my dear, the fault lies in your own incapacity to understand Him. Trying to understand the words of the God-Man through mind alone is like trying to look through the wrong end of the telescope. With reference to some simple-hearted

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN lovers of Jesus, a great Christian mystic once said, "They may not understand His words, but they understand Him as their Savior." The followers of Meher Baba who had experienced His selfless, unfettered love in their hearts, after listening to His Declaration had to face honestly the challenge of renewing more deeply their conviction in Him as the Avatar. A Film Project and a Qawwali Program Meher Baba continued His stay in Satara for the entire month of November. Although outwardly Baba's stay was relatively uneventful, Baba was, as always, directing and guiding much activity elsewhere. One example of this was the work Adi K. Irani was doing in Ahmednagar at Baba's behest to assist Bal Dhawale in completing a film on Baba. The first film footage of Baba was shot in 1932 in London for a newsreel by Paramount. Later, in 1937, an Indian newsreel was made of Baba's forty-third birthday celebration in Nasik. Aside from one brief film taken in 1948, any films shot of Baba in the '40s do not seem to have survived. The '50s, however, ushered in a sudden abundance of films. Several were shot of Baba during His long stay at Dehra Dun in 1953. Gabriel Pascal had intended to film Baba's birthday celebration in February 1954 during Baba's Andhra tour. Pascal's ill health made him cancel this trip at the last minute. Pascal next scheduled a visit to India for August of '54 but again he could not come. In September, however, Baba gave permission for an Indian film crew, possibly headed by Bal Dhawale, to shoot scenes of three special gatherings — the mass darshan in Wadia Park on September 12, the little darshan in Khushroo Quarters on September 26, and the Meherabad Meeting on the 29th. Lud Dimpfl, one of His dear ones from the West who had come for the "three incredible weeks," brought a movie camera with him and also took considerable footage. In early October, Baba agreed to see Bal Dhawale to discuss the completion of the film on Baba. Baba wanted Bal not only

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION to include the footage recently taken, but to go to Sakori and film there as well as various places in Meherabad and Meherazad associated with Baba. On October 8, Dr. Nilu, who was good friends with Bal, wrote to Adi to inform him that Bal was coming to see Baba on the 11th. Nilu conveyed, "Baba wants you to discuss with Bal all possible points in connection with the making and producing of a film ... on Baba." Nilu went on to add that Baba had also conveyed to him that people who had never seen Baba before in person would be helped spiritually if they saw Baba in a film. As gathered by him from Baba's gestures, "It will help them in the process of liberating themselves from the bondage of Maya.'' Adi had spent much of October working out the details for Baba's visit to Pandharpur. Now, in November, in addition to his usual heavy schedule of correspondence, he and Padri worked to assist Bal in filming Meherabad and Meherazad. In late November, Adi even went to a screening of some of the footage at the Sarosh Cinema in Ahmednagar. What has happened to that footage in the intervening years I personally do not know. With Baba's encouragement, the work on the film continued over the next several months. However, for all the interest Baba took, it seems no finished product was ever produced. This is true of the film projects Baba initiated or encouraged back in the '30s as well. It seems Baba was more concerned with the inner work He was doing through this involvement with film than with having a specific film produced. Possibly this inner work was to help make film a concealed channel to reach the hearts of His lovers. Baba's assurance that seeing His Avataric form in films would help people spiritually has been borne out by the experience of some who came to Him after He had put aside His physical form. Although it is a digression, I cannot forbear relating a few such incidents, as they seem to verify what Baba had Nilu write back in 1954. One person in the United States had heard of Meher Baba and been invited to attend a Baba gathering. Somewhat reluctantly he did so, but he was put off by the other people there

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN and decided to leave. Each time he got up to go, however, something would happen which would result in his staying a little longer. As he recounts: Finally they showed a film of Meher Baba's visit to Andhra in February 1954. And that's when I started to become interested in Baba, because I saw Him walking and thousands of people following Him around. I said to myself, "This Meher Baba must be a very, very special person for these people to follow Him around like that. It's almost as if He's the Christ." And with that thought I started really paying attention to the film. Baba was sitting in a chair giving darshan when suddenly His face came out of the film and looked at me. He showered me with a big ray of love ... Internally I exclaimed, "That's God!" I knew that instantly. I knew that Baba was God the very second He gave me that glance. In a slightly more humorous vein, a young woman who is currently living at Meherabad once told me that she was watching, for the first time, a film taken of Baba at Meherabad and, as she did so, the thought came to her, "Baba, did you know that one day I would be staying here?" As soon as this thought occurred to her, Baba, at that very moment, in the film, stepped back and looked inside the room where she now stays and then turned to the camera and smiled. Baba had responded to her unspoken thought as clearly as if He had physically been there. Lastly, and most recently, in 1991 a film of Baba was shown in Argentina. The person who showed the film wrote, " ... people were so moved by the images, because no one understood English, but it didn't matter. Baba spoke personally to each one in their hearts. The room was silent, you could hear an ant walk. I must ask your forgiveness for my English. I'm not a good writer." As November '54 drew to a close, I was blessed with an opportunity to visit Baba at Satara. This was just prior to forty days of special work in seclusion which Baba intended to begin

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION from December 1. After returning to my hometown from Pandharpur on November 7, I had written an account of Baba's visit and mailed it to Him. Perhaps it was something in connection with this, or something else that I don't remember, which provided the excuse for my being called. I lost no time in going. While I was there I learned of the account Eruch had prepared of Baba's visit to Pandharpur which later appeared in The Awakener. 2 During my brief stay at Rosewood, Baba arranged for an allnight qawwali program. A qawwal, Raganath Jadhav, was brought all the way from Bombay (paid for by one of Baba's devotees, as Baba said, "I have no money for this entertainment"). Baba instructed Adi to see that a special biryani dish to feed eighteen people was prepared in Nagar and brought along with plates and mugs which he was to rent. Perhaps Baba was giving the mandali a special treat because He knew that for the forty days following the program, they would be subsisting on only one plain meal a day. It also gave those who prepared the food the blessed opportunity to indirectly serve the God-Man and His close disciples. Adi was asked to bring Padri, Sidhu, Adi Jr., and a few others whom Baba had specifically named, but Adi was warned that if he brought anyone else he would have to face severe suffering in the form of incurable fissures! Such dire warnings from Baba about the consequences of not following His orders to the letter were reminders of the importance of obeying Him literally. Sam Kerawala and Merwan Jessawala also came from Poona to attend this program. It was to be held at Grafton, where Baba spent the nights. This was my first (and, as it turned out, my only) visit to Grafton. It was a memorable experience. I was drowned in a rare delight as Baba entered the hall, and my attention was immediately captivated by His majestic presence. Baba had had tea prepared and was going to serve it Himself to all those who were present. Somehow Baba quickly found out that a few of the resident mandali had already been served tea by Aloba in Rosewood. Baba became annoyed and

2

The Awakener, Vol. II, No. 4 (Spring 1955), pp. 58-59.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN said this was a breach of His orders and that now the whole program should be canceled and all should go home. Eruch, as he often did, stepped forward and tried to speak up for Aloba. I don't recall exactly what "arguments" he used, but eventually Baba relented and forgave Aloba and agreed to hold the program after all. Baba then gave us all tea and a pill to help us keep awake and then the program began. Somehow one couplet has stayed with me to this day as a kind of souvenir of that night. Baba stopped the qawwal after he had sung it and asked him to repeat the lines again slowly. They were in Urdu, and translated loosely they mean: Whenever I find myself totally hemmed in by the circle of my worldly circumstances, I am compelled to turn inward to find the real Center of life within me. Thus, a crisis in one's life can become a blessing if it brings a fundamental change in one's outlook. One cannot adequately express the atmosphere of loving intimacy that surrounded Baba on such occasions. About this night, Adi, on his return to Ahmednagar, wrote a letter to Francis Brabazon in Australia, a part of which is given below: Baba gave up using alphabet board from 7 October. He gave up the use of fingers to express thoughts from 1st December. Before doing the latter, he called a few of the mandali at Satara on 30 Nov., and with those who stay with him kept us awake the whole night. By the courtesy of a ... devotee from Bombay, a Qawwali singer ... was sent to Satara. He gave us whole night lovely singing on Sufistic and Vedantic thoughts and about Masters and kept the mandali deeply interested and pleasantly awake. Baba was also very pleased with his songs. Twice during the night Baba ordered breaks in the singing, perhaps to give the singer a chance to refresh himself and ease his throat. By four o'clock in the morning, the program was over. Before that Baba had announced to all that no one should

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION come to Him for an embrace or to say goodbye when it was time to depart. Sam Kerawala was scheduled to leave soon to take up his duties as a radio officer aboard ship. He felt especially deprived of Baba's last embrace, as he knew he would be at sea for many months to come. On returning to Poona the next day, he was surprised and overjoyed to see that there was a letter from Baba telling him that he shouldn't worry, that he should feel that he had already received Baba's parting embrace long before and he should carry it with him wherever he sailed. So it is that Baba outwardly seems to withdraw from His lovers, only to reassure them that inwardly He is in constant contact with them. Real Love Implies Obeying the Beloved While at Rosewood, I copied out a list of instructions to be followed by the mandali during Baba's forty days of seclusion which were to start December 1. Baba had given these directions to Eruch and Eruch then had me write out a copy for Adi. The orders Baba gave were to be strictly observed during His seclusion period from December 1 to January 9. Baba detailed specific hours for the various members of the mandali to take part in a round-the-clock repetition of God's name — jap. In addition to this, each of the mandali was also given certain duties, though sometimes of a general nature. Thus Aloba was deputed as general manager for the household in Rosewood and was also to see to the needs of Grafton. Further, he was to escort Baba whenever He walked from the one compound to the other. Bhau was to see to the laundry and the cleaning of bicycles and to attend to Dr. Donkin's outdoor work. Savak Kotwal was to be on night watch with Baba from seven in the evening until two o'clock in the morning. Then Krishna Nair was to take over until 5 A.M. Along with such duties, all the mandali were required to wash their own clothes, clean their rooms, and wash their own dining utensils. Simultaneously, Baba outlined a very strict diet for all.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN There was to be only one meal each day, at 4 P.M. This meal was to consist of rice and dhal, or rice and dhansak (made with potatoes, squash, and eggplant). Tomatoes could also be used in the dhansak but could not be served separately. Pickle was permitted with the meal, but it, and the potatoes, could only be used as long as the current stock lasted. On the other hand, there was no restriction regarding green chillies, onions, and chutney. For breakfast there was tea and a maximum of two chapatis, at noon only tea with no chapatis. Baidul was allowed an extra cup of tea at night to help him stay awake during his long period of jap (from midnight until 5 A.M.), and Dr. Nilu was allowed a little extra milk. These were the only exceptions, unless Dr. Donkin, on medical grounds, were to decide to give someone extra milk. If any went out on an errand, they were even forbidden to accept tea or paan if offered to them by others. These orders and the schedule for the jap were displayed on a small board in Rosewood for the information of the residents. I have recorded these instructions at such length to give readers an idea as to how particular Baba was about the duties for each of the mandali and how meticulous He was in giving instructions so that no confusion or questions would arise during the forty days He was to be in seclusion. Baba Himself followed an even stricter regimen. Quoting a letter written from Satara by one of the women disciples after the forty-day seclusion: Baba and a few close disciples observed an all-night vigil, listening to a Qawwali singer, on the night preceding the special phase of work which began on December 1st. The first ten days Baba fasted on one meal a day; the next ten on liquids only; the last twenty on coffee and fruit juice (He had twice of each daily). We were particularly anxious about this last phase of fasting because darling Baba cares little for fruit in any form — He must have been fed up with it! Although Baba has undergone severe and very long

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION fasts in the old days, of late years we've noticed His body cannot stand it with the same indifference. Despite our anxiety, however, He stood the fast very well. The last few days He was looking wan and tired, but He said that was because of the intensive work He was putting in, and not the fast. The mandali and we were allowed to share comparatively very little — as usual Baba took on Himself by far the greater burden ... During the forty days the mandali observed in non-stop relays, day and night, a repetition of God's Name. According to Baba's orders, on the ninth, fifty-six poor people were given a free meal, all the girls of the little orphanage here received new clothes, and the fifty-odd leper patients of the Leper Clinic near here were provided with a new garment each. Could we but see the inner wealth He imparts with these outward acts of compassion! At midnight on the ninth, at the stroke of twelve, when Baba clapped, we loudly called out God's Name. Those few moments, while we stood in readiness, straining for Baba's clap, were so wonderfully tense! On the tenth, Baba broke His fast with a light meal . . . 3 Baba did not reveal the nature of the work He wanted to do while in seclusion. From comments He made later, it seemed that it was connected in some way with His Final Declaration, but this is only a guess on my part and was not a concern for the mandali. The daily routine for them consisted of simply responding to Baba's wishes. Although their outward duties and activities varied tremendously, depending on the phase of Baba's work, their everyday focus was the same — an ongoing process of resigning more and more to His will. And this was not easy. Although outwardly the orders given for the forty-day seclusion period may appear to have been quite simple, paradoxically it was often more difficult to obey wholeheartedly when there was little outward activity to engage in than when one was given plenty of work, or when the work posed a "spiritual challenge." Baba's orders, while always meaningful, had, I feel, a

3

Ibid., pp. 58-59.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN deeper significance when they were related to His inner spiritual work such as during this seclusion period. During such periods I take it that Baba's orders for the mandali acted as a kind of fine tuning of His "transmitting set" for releasing spiritual energy. They did not require the understanding of the mechanics of this fine tuning, for their only wish was to obey and please Baba. Perhaps this is why Chanji, Baba's intimate disciple and secretary, used to refer to Baba's resident disciples as His "spiritual baggage." If Baba's orders were not followed literally, He would become upset. Although this disobedience made His work a little more difficult, Baba was more concerned with what would befall the person as the natural result of spiritual laws operating automatically in His physical presence. Perhaps this was why Baba was so particular about His orders being obeyed properly, and why He was so quick to point out a lapse if one occurred. Yet, in His infinite compassion, invariably Baba would forgive the erring person, thus protecting him or her from harm. Nevertheless, in submission to His own law, Baba would have to suffer Himself because of that person's disobedience. I feel this is also why Baba did not permit visitors during such seclusion periods. Baba's inner work was for the benefit of all, but individuals could be adversely affected by visiting Him without His consent during such times. Here, I recount an incident from one of Baba's seclusion periods at Satara that illustrates this point. One day, after leaving Baba at His place of seclusion, Aloba was returning to Rosewood. He was surprised to find one of Baba's lovers from Dehra Dun on the road. This was a man who had come very close to Baba during His stay in Dehra Dun the previous year. Baba took an interest in the man's family and even visited his home once. The intimacy of Baba's presence encouraged this man to take Baba as his Guide whom he could approach any time. Being so new to Baba, however, he did not properly understand that observing Baba's wishes and trying to please Him through obedience were more important than the outward expression of love.

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION Thus, even though he knew Baba was in seclusion and did not want to see any of His lovers, he felt he had to see Baba anyway, as he was suddenly overcome with problems. He did not explain this to Aloba, but simply said that it was his love for Baba which had brought him there. Aloba explained that Baba was in seclusion and he should leave. The man pleaded with Aloba to somehow just let him have a glimpse of Baba, as this was what his heart cried out for. Eventually the man's earnest pleading touched a soft spot in Aloba's heart, as he could sympathize with someone whose love was so overpowering. Aloba told the man to wait at a particular spot on the road the next morning at a certain time to get a glimpse of Baba as He walked by. The man was delighted, and the next morning he was at his designated spot at the appointed time. As Aloba and Baba came walking briskly up the road, Baba spotted the man standing some distance away and asked Aloba who he was and why he was there. Aloba quickly confessed that he had told the man he could stand there because the man's love was so great that he couldn't resist permitting him to have just a glimpse from a distance of his Beloved. Baba told Aloba to call the man and when he came forward Baba gestured, "Did you not receive the Circular? Don't you know that I am engaged in seclusion work and do not wish to see anyone?" The man admitted that he knew this, but justified his presence by saying, "Baba, Your love has brought me here. I just wanted one glimpse of Your divine form." Baba replied, "Well, you have seen Me, now leave immediately for Dehra Dun." The man did not go. Instead, to Aloba's astonishment, he began to pour out his problems to Baba. "Great misfortune has befallen me," he complained. "I have several court cases lodged against me; my wife has fallen very ill, and I cannot find a suitable match for my dear daughter." As the man related one problem after another, Baba looked at Aloba in such a way that he understood that he had completely miscalculated the man's intentions. Baba was pointing this out to him. Aloba had believed the man had come just for love, but he had really come to ask for Baba's blessings to

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN relieve him of his predicaments. Aloba felt embarrassed and was also chagrined because he knew that this would disturb Baba in His inner spiritual work. When the man had finished pouring out his heart, Baba assured him, "Don't worry about your problems and difficulties. What has a beginning also has an end. I am with you. You have My love and that is the most important thing. Now take My love and return." This did not satisfy the man, who went on, "Baba, please bless me so that I shall be relieved of all my difficulties." "Better than My blessings is to face your difficulties with My love." "No, Baba, please, I want your blessings." "If you insist on My blessings now, you will forget Me; you will end up losing Me," Baba warned him. "How is that possible?" the man argued. "How can I forget my Baba who is so dear to me? I will never forget you, but I need your blessings." Baba continued to try to persuade the man simply to return with His love. When the man could not be convinced, Baba became very serious, and right there on the road He bowed down and put His forehead on the man's feet, pleading with him not to ask for His blessings during this phase of seclusion. It is really astonishing to see to what lengths the Avatar will go to try to preserve His love connection once it is consciously established with His lovers. What striking humility, what humbling compassion He has for any of His wayward lovers. Despite Baba's bowing down to his feet, the man remained adamant and insisted that Baba bless him. Finally Baba gestured, "All right. I give you My blessings," and He moved on. The man was delighted with what he thought was his good fortune and returned to Dehra Dun in a completely different frame of mind. And, sure enough, soon his whole situation began to change. One court case after another was settled in his favor, his wife recovered her health, his daughter was happily married, and he himself started a business and became very prosperous. Yet, simultaneously, he began to "lose" Baba. That loving remembrance began to wane and, as time passed, he seemed to slowly fall out of Baba's orbit, never

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION again coming to see Him, even once. He got what he wanted, but he lost what the Avatar wanted to give him — the real treasure of His precious remembrance. In retrospect, perhaps this is why during His earlier stay in Dehra Dun, Baba had given this person a Hindi nickname which means "a loser." In this lifetime the man had indeed lost. Yet even a moment's contact with the Avatar never goes in vain, and because of this experience, who knows how much stronger this man's resolve to obey the Avatar will be in his next life? Declaration Confirmed Baba's forty days of seclusion ended on January 10,1955. Earlier in September, Baba had declared that He would stop using the alphabet board after October 7 and thereafter no more correspondence would be allowed with Him. Baba also had Bhau, one of the resident mandali, write a letter in Hindi to His lovers in Hamirpur in which He explained that it was now time for being bound to Him in the chain of internal connections. He also added that His lovers should not let their hearts be torn asunder by His Declaration that He would drop His body, but on the contrary, they should accept this cheerfully as His divine will. Despite this assurance, Baba's lovers continued to be upset by the idea of His dropping His body. Lud Dimpfl, one of the Westerners who had attended Baba's Declaration Meeting, on his return to the States, broke down and wept while trying to give an account of what had transpired at the Meherabad Meeting. Similarly, many in India were deeply affected by Baba's statements, and despite the ban on correspondence, they wrote to Adi for guidance. On emerging from His seclusion, Adi apprised Baba of the gist of the letters. In one of them, Keshav Nigam, Baba's stalwart from the Hamirpur area, mentioned the turmoil in many hearts caused by confusion concerning Baba's statements made in the Final Declaration, despite His

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN ensuing Clarification. He also requested Baba to send one of the mandali there to lay the cornerstone of a temple which they wanted to build in Nauranga on February 5 to commemorate Baba's visit to that spot exactly one year earlier. In His compassion, Baba asked Bhau to go to Hamirpur as His representative. It was arranged that Bhau would go not only to Nauranga to lay the cornerstone, but would leave two weeks earlier, on January 17, to visit different towns throughout the Hamirpur district. Bhau agreed but humbly expressed his inability to comfort the despairing hearts of those lovers. He also felt he wasn't competent to answer any questions people would naturally put to him concerning Baba's Declaration. Baba told him not to worry and gave him a "message" for His lovers. But it turned out to be only five words long: Sat-ChitAnand, Paramanand, Meher Baba, Vidyanand." As requested by His lovers, Baba also arranged for Bhau to take a pair of His sandals with him for the temple at Nauranga. (This temple, incidentally, was originally called Meher Mandir and was later renamed Meher Dham, meaning Meher's Abode.) Bhau left for Hamirpur on the 17th as planned. Besides feeling inadequate to speak about Baba's Declaration, he wondered how Baba's very brief "message" would assuage people's questioning minds. On arriving at Ichhaura, Bhau shared Baba's words with R. S. Singh Baghel, a local Baba lover, who was inspired to put the words to music in the form of a chant. At the first public meeting, this message was then sung by a few Baba lovers and was quickly taken up by the whole crowd. The rhythmic repetition of this Avataric "mantra" kindled Baba's presence and surcharged the atmosphere with His love. (I feel I should add that ever since January 31, 1969, when Baba put aside His physical form, these words have been sung by His chief women disciples whenever they visit His Tomb-Shrine at Meherabad. Even the repetition of this Baba-mantra, releasing the divine energy, continues to inspire the hearts of those present on such occasions.) Contrary to his earlier apprehensions, Bhau's tour went off very well. On February 5, at Nauranga, he laid the cornerstone

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION of Meher Dham and, three days later, he left for Satara. After Bhau's departure for Hamirpur on January 17, Baba wished to visit Khuldabad with a few of His mandali. Baidul was sent in advance with the luggage to prepare things. Chhagan, who was staying in Ahmednagar, was asked to join the party, specially so he could cook for Baba and the party. Kumar, at Dehra Dun, was informed that he could come, but only if he could bring Nilkanthwala, one of Baba's favorite masts, from Rishikesh. As it turned out, despite his best efforts, Kumar was not able to persuade the mast to come and so Kumar missed the opportunity to be with his beloved Baba at this time. On January 20, Eruch drove Baba, Pendu, and Gustadji to Khuldabad, which is about eighty miles west of Ahmednagar. Khuldabad is near the famous caves at Ellora, but it is not a big town. According to the Hindus, in the hoary past, it had been a center where great rishis (sages) had stayed. Muslims believe that a few centuries earlier many walis (friends of God) had descended there in heavenly palanquins. Whatever the legend, it is undoubtedly true that over the centuries some saints and even a few Perfect Masters had been there, and there are to this day a great number of tombs scattered around the village. Among these, the most famous is the dargah of Zarzarizarbaksh (Giver of the Wealth of wealths), who was a Perfect Master in the thirteenth century. In his honor, each year a large fair is held. Not too far from this dargah there is a mosque. Underneath the mosque is a room where Baba and the mandali would stay during their visits. On this occasion, after a stay of five days, Baba announced that His inner work, whatever it had been, was complete and so, on the 25th, He decided to return to Satara. On the way, the car stopped briefly at a gas station in Ahmednagar. Here, Adi was permitted to see Baba for a few minutes. Baba asked Adi about the film project he was working on. Adi reported the latest developments, including his visit to Sakori on January 3, to get some film footage of Upasni Nagar. In the course of this conversation, Baba told Adi to ask Padri, who was staying

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN at Meherabad, to try to trace the whereabouts of the film taken of Baba's birthday in Nasik, in 1937. In conclusion, Baba instructed Adi to take good care of Gulmai — His spiritual mother — and to visit Satara by the end of the month to discuss some other important matters. On returning to Satara, perhaps because Kumar had been unable to bring Nilkanthwala Mast to Khuldabad, Baba had a mast brought from Kolhapur. In a letter to the West, Mani, Baba's sister, gives a very beautiful description of this mast: After Baba's return from Khuldabad, where He stayed less than a week, a mast was brought over from Kolhapur for a day or two and Baba was in a very happy mood, as He always is when working with a good mast. He told us how the mast was very advanced, quite oblivious of his body, which was healthy and sweet-smelling in spite of the fact that he hadn't had a bath for years! Baba said it was the masts' all-consuming love for God which sustained them ... This mast lives in Kolhapur, is tallish, and his habitual place is a little stone alcove, in which he curls up uncomfortably, for he scarcely fits in. In the hot summer months the stone gets too hot to touch, but he lies in there oblivious to the discomfort and feels happy. As is characteristic of many masts, he has a bundle which he always keeps with him and in which he puts anything and everything that is given him. The first time, Baba contacted him in his native place, sending one of the mandali to call him out of his niche, but the mast wouldn't budge. Then Baidul, the mandali concerned, had a brainstorm; he went there and brought the bundle out, walking swiftly towards Baba. The mast came out at once and followed after the bundle. Now since that first contact he is always very happy and willing to come to Baba. One of the important matters Baba wanted Adi to look after was the issuing of Life Circular 23. During January, Eruch would send Adi bits of explanations given by Baba about His Final Declaration. These were compiled, printed, and ready for mailing by February 3, 1955. The major part of this circular,

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION which was entitled "Confirmation," is given below: Baba desires all concerned to know that: Each and all things as intimated, declared, and clarified by Me are all fixed and ordained facts, and God will see that everything happens and is done as foreordained by Him. All this that is destined to take place is unavoidable, yet the resultant effects can be modified in two different ways according to relative circumstances. The modification of the effects of a destined plan can on the one hand either affect the intensity, scope, shape, or size of the chain of events, or on the other hand bring about a considerable change in the factor of time. In either case the effects can be modified as much in relation to Me and those closely connected with Me, as to the world at large. For example, the world can absorb fully a simultaneous spiritual and material shock, either by a modification in the quality and quantity of events or by a considerable change in the time factor. If the time limit (April 1955 as mentioned at the Meherabad Meeting) remains unchanged, then in order to enable the world to fully absorb the shock of shocks, the chain of events may be modified both in degree and in kind. But if the time limit is changed considerably, the events will take place without any modification whatsoever. In the latter case the most important and significant point is that definitely and emphatically the link between My physical body and all My external activities as carried on up to now, will be dropped by April 1955, and there will take place an immeasurable change in the external relations between Me and those who are closely connected with Me. So that if I do not drop My physical body, I will yet, so to say, "die," for I will then become actually dead to the world up to the end of the modified period of time. During the indefinite period of the modified time, I will completely stop one and all of My external activities as carried out and carried on by Me in the course of My different

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN phases of My physical life so far, including the present life of retirement amongst those who live with Me permanently. 1) I will then, throughout this modified period of time, live a life of complete physical detachment from everything and everybody except a few as will be absolutely necessary for My requirements of nature in the barest sense of living the life of a man alive. 2) I wish all My lovers to observe a fast and remain only on water (which can be taken any number of times during the fast) for twenty-four hours, from 8 P.M. on Saturday, February 12, to 8 P.M. on Sunday, February 13; and to devote all available time during the 24 hours, in praying to God in the way each likes best to pray to Him. 3) Honesty is the keynote to Divinity. He who can love God honestly can lose himself in God and find himself as God. 4 I personally feel that this Confirmation was given more in Baba's language than ours. I could only follow the last two points: that I had to observe a fast for twenty-four hours and that I should wholeheartedly try to be honest — with myself, with others, and with God residing in the hearts of all. On my own, I totally lack the depth to understand the meaning of Baba's Humiliation, Glorification, the dropping of His body, and the consequent breaking of His Silence as mentioned in the Declaration. So sometimes I ask myself, "What is more important, more significant: the Declaration or the One Who declared, the Confirmation or the One Who confirmed?" And readily my heart responds, "Of course, the One Who declares, the One Who confirms." And this One is Avatar Meher Baba — the active, functioning Infinite Consciousness that has assumed a human form. Out of His infinite compassion, He makes use of His form to take us beyond words. As an ordinary person, in my case it was natural that some of His statements confused me — even confounded me deeply. But the gift of conviction that He is the Word made flesh and blood

4

Life Circular, No. 23, February 3, 1955.

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CLARIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION amongst humanity uplifts me out of the intriguing and fascinating interpretations of others. The feeling that "Baba loves me" gives me real strength of heart. Simultaneously, I feel deeply within me that whenever my longing is sincere and the spiritual need urgent, Baba will disclose in "my limited language" the secret behind His words and that shall quicken my journey to Him.

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST 1955 ~ PART II Birthday Celebrations and a "Vacation" Meher Baba stayed in Satara for the remainder of February in semi-seclusion. No one was supposed to visit Him. He had severed all outward contact with His lovers, as He had intimated He would do during the Meeting on September 30. He was, at this time, leading a "retired" life. However, this did not prevent His lovers from celebrating His birthday on a grand scale on February 25. Twice during the previous two years, Baba had traveled through the district of Hamirpur (U.P.) and the state of Andhra Pradesh. Both of these areas were still ringing with Baba's loving remembrance. Celebrations were held in many cities all through Uttar Pradesh and Andhra, and also throughout the rest of India in cities such as Delhi, Bombay Calcutta, Madras, Bilaspur, Nasik, Sholapur, and others. Naturally, these celebrations varied from place to place, but many of them were marked by similar features. On this auspicious day, the Baba lovers woke up early in the morning and paraded through the streets of their cities or villages, chanting Meher Baba's sacred name. Then there were programs which included talks on Baba's life and messages, and the singing of bhajans. In many places, free meals were served to the poor and the sick, and literature and colored photographs of Baba were distributed to the public on request. These celebrations also gave the Baba lovers an occasion to come together and relive their times with Baba and to glorify His life of compassion and love. Meanwhile, in Satara, Baba's birthday was celebrated with simple festivity by the women mandali on February 11, which was the date of Baba's birthday according to the Zoroastrian calendar. Everyone got up early in the morning, and, exactly at five o'clock, called out "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!" Seven

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST firecrackers were set off, and then "Happy Birthday" was played on the gramophone. Baba was wearing a new pink coat and a green and gold turban that Mehera had made for Him. The women mandali had decorated the house with flowers and had drawn colorful rangooli (chalk designs) on the floor. Mani prepared a delicious cake, and Naja cooked rava, a favorite sweet dish. That evening an amusing performance was presented. Everyone had a wonderful time, especially since Baba seemed to relax a bit from the strain of His work; this gave them a chance to express their love for Him in this wholehearted and natural way. At the end of February, Adi went to Poona to see Bal Dhawale about the film work. The following day he and Sarosh visited Baba in Satara. Baba was interested to hear about what they had been doing. But in the course of the conversation, on a seemingly minor point, Baba expressed annoyance with the way Sarosh was handling certain work. Sarosh made no attempt to explain that some of the information previously conveyed to Baba was incorrect. Nor did he try to justify himself. He simply sat there and absorbed Baba's remarks. This attitude of submission pleased Baba, and the other mandali could see Baba's appreciation. A little later, however, Sarosh suddenly broke down, unable to bear the thought that he had displeased Baba. Those who knew Sarosh were surprised to witness this scene, as he was a very strong and commanding figure. Physically imposing because of his great height, he stood out in any crowd. His fearless dedication to Baba's cause was most striking, and in carrying out Baba's work, he was lion-hearted, never hesitating to take risks in his sincere determination to please Baba. Yet now the thought of having inadvertently caused Baba a few moments of unhappiness made him weep like a child. Baba's physical presence was so overwhelming and intense that thoughts and feelings lying deep in an individual's consciousness would sometimes be brought to the surface. Though this was a painful process for the mandali, it also gave them an opportunity to unlearn and unburden their minds and hearts

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN so as to resign more and more to Baba's divine Will. Baba used these incidents for His spiritual work on the inner planes of consciousness. Seeing Sarosh so filled with remorse, Baba's mood changed, and He lovingly consoled him, telling him how happy his obedience had made Him. Gradually the conversation turned to other subjects. After thoroughly reviewing their work with Baba, Adi and Sarosh left Satara in a happy mood. Baba continued His semi-seclusion through the month of March. Although this period was devoid of outward drama, inwardly this was not the case for those who were staying with Baba. Baba did not like His disciples to be moody or bored. He expected those who stayed near Him to remain bright and cheerful at all times, perhaps as a sign of their resignation to His will. Being in close physical proximity to Baba and the other mandali required constant adjustments on the part of each individual. This was one of Baba's main methods of training them. Now, small quirks and weaknesses, which could ordinarily be overlooked or easily suppressed in the hustle bustle of Baba's "normal" activity, were more pronounced and obvious, with the men being kept together in close quarters with little to do. Confined, for the most part, to the house, they were allowed to leave the premises only during specific times of day, and only in order to take walks for exercise. Once, during an informal discussion in Baba's presence, the subject came up as to whether a certain resident had broken Baba's order. Baba said nothing, but the comments of the others upset the individual so much that he remained in a bad mood for several days. Seeing this, Baba suggested that it would be good for this mandali member to take a "vacation" for a few days from Baba's atmosphere (His close physical presence) in order to recover his spirits. Baba asked for someone to accompany this man. As it so happened, Eruch had also been feeling a need for a break. He had been at Baba's side for years and was looking for an opportunity, even for just a day, to be away from Him and the other mandali. So he readily volunteered. It seems that he had reached a point of being so absorbed in Baba's personal attendance and work that he

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST longed to have some time when he wasn't "on call." It was decided that they would take a bus to Mahabaleshwar, which is about thirty-five miles from Satara. However, they had no sooner reached the bus station than the ticket clerk asked, "What? Are you leaving? Does this mean that Meher Baba will also be going to Mahabaleshwar?" Eruch informed the man that they were simply going on an outing on their own. On the bus, the same scene repeated itself, with people asking Eruch about Meher Baba. After all, Satara was a small town, and almost everyone had come to know of Baba, and, naturally, they recognized Eruch. In Mahabaleshwar Eruch and his companion had intended to stay at a guest house. But after the experience on the bus, Eruch realized that there would be no quiet time for them if they ate in the common dining hall. So he and the other mandali member had food sent to their room where they could have some privacy. The only problem was that the owner of the guest house knew Baba and had great respect for Him. He wanted to hear all the latest news about Baba, and so he sat down with them. The next day they decided to take a packed lunch and go far away into the woods to have a picnic by themselves. They hiked down the main road a good distance until they found a nice spot. They had just sat down to enjoy the beautiful view of the surrounding hills with their canopies of trees, when, to their great surprise, a car stopped on the road. Several people got out and hailed them. They knew Baba, and one of them had recognized Eruch. "Is Meher Baba here in Mahabaleshwar? Can we see Him?" Eruch pretended not to hear, but the people began walking towards them, so he realized he had to answer. He said that Baba was not with them, that they were only trying to enjoy a quiet picnic. The people persisted in trying to get some definite news about Baba, so Eruch briefly, and perhaps a bit curtly, answered their queries, and eventually they left. Eruch looked at his companion, who, assessing the situation, suggested that it would be better if they returned to Satara. It

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN seemed to them that Baba was following them wherever they went. There was no escape. They left Mahabaleshwar after lunch, having given up all hope of a "Baba-free" vacation! Descent of Reality into Illusion Shortly after Eruch's return from Mahabaleshwar to Rosewood, Baba announced His intention of visiting Khuldabad again to spend three weeks in seclusion. On March 21, with Eruch driving, Baba set out in a car for Khuldabad with three other mandali. They did not stop in Ahmednagar. In the Life Circular entitled "Confirmation," Baba had referred to a "modification" of effects, in regard to His Declaration, either in the time factor or in the intensity of future events. Before leaving Khuldabad, He gave a hint to His disciples that the work in seclusion would determine the way in which events would unfold in the future. After a stay of a week or so, Baba conveyed that His special work was completed. On March 28, He and His mandali returned to Satara. In the second week of April, as the culminating part of the Declaration, Baba communicated some basic spiritual facts about the life led by the Avatar and Sadgurus in relation to Creation, which is the outcome of Illusion. The explanation was entitled "Decision." Adi was asked to mail the printed text to Meher Baba's lovers in India and abroad. It is given below: The universe has come out of God. God has not come out of the universe. Illusion has come out of Reality; Reality has not come out of Illusion. God alone is Real; the universe by itself is Illusion. God's life lived in Illusion, as the Avatar and Perfect Masters, is not illusory, whereas God's life lived in creation as all animate and inanimate beings, is both real and illusory. Illusion, illusory life, and God's life in Illusion are not and cannot be one and the same. Illusion has no life and can have no life. Illusion is Illusion and is nothing by itself.

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST Illusory life means life in Illusion, with Illusion, surrounded by Illusion, and though it is life (as experienced by a soul in creation) it is illusory life. But God's life lived in Illusion is not illusory because in spite of living the illusory life, God remains Conscious of His own Reality. God is absolutely Independent, and the universe is entirely dependent upon God. Yet when the Perfect Masters effect the Descent of God on earth as the Avatar, they make Reality and Illusion interdependent, each upon the other. And thus it is that His Infinite Mercy and Unbounded Love are eternally drawn up by those who are immersed in Illusion. Between God and the universe, Infinite Mercy and Unbounded Love act as a prominent link which is eternally made use of by Men who become God (Sadgurus, Perfect Masters, or Qutubs), and by God Who becomes Man (Avatar, Christ, or Rasool), and so the universe becomes the eternal playmate of God. Through this prominent link the Avatar not only establishes life in His Divine Play, but also establishes Law in Illusion. And this Law, being established by the GodMan or Avatar, is the Law of the lawless Infinite, and it is eternally Real and at the same time illusory. It is this Law that governs the universe; all its "ups and downs," construction, and devastation are guided by this Law. At the Cyclic period, God's independent Absoluteness is made to work upon the Law by the God-Man as God's Will, and this means that anything and everything that the Avatar wills is ordained by God. Consequently, all that I stated in the Final Declaration and Confirmation is ordained by God, and must and will happen. I was in Khuldabad for nearly a week from the 22nd of March. There, day and night, I did My work most intensively. The intensity of My spiritual work caused great pressure on My physical body and mind, and it was there that I decided that all that I had declared in My Final Declaration must come to pass exactly in the same sequence and with the same intensity of effect but with

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN modification in the time factor. Therefore, with the change in the time limit, the intensity, scope, shape, and size of the chain of events will take place without any moderation whatsoever, to bring into effect the destined Plan. In the meanwhile, mankind must await, as it must according to My final Decision, the witnessing of all that is to come to Pass as ordained by God. This is the time when man must love God more and more. Let him live for God and let him die for God. In all his thoughts, in all his words, and in all his actions, love for God alone must prevail." 1 To me this message is a sort of compact, mini God Speaks which one may dedicate to "The God-Man Who sustains Illusion" through His periodic Advents. The import of the Decision is so condensed that not only is real understanding of its meaning well nigh impossible, but to follow it intellectually is very difficult. Yet I am tempted to share what I gather from it. God as God is the only Reality, and His is the infinitely Real Life. Illusion (Maya), projected out of God as His apparent shadow, is totally false and illusory. Maya is a Sanskrit word. Its etymology indicates and incorporates the subtlety and depth of its meaning. Ma in Sanskrit means "not" and ya means "which," so one of the Perfect Masters of India in his commentaries defined Maya as "that which is not" — that which does not really exist. Meher Baba refers to Maya as the root or principle of Ignorance. It is that which makes Illusion appear as real. The creation has come out of Illusion; it has no existence in the Absolute Reality. In this sense, the life of every soul in creation is false and illusory. But the life of every soul as a spark of Spirit (God) is real; it is the soul's identification with anything other than God that is false and illusory. The subtle distinction of this "real and illusory" life in creation, as contrasted with Reality, may be clarified by Baba's concise statement once given to Dr. Harry Kenmore, "Everything in Maya is a fact, and none of it is the Truth."

1

Life Circular, No. 24, April 10, 1955.

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST The purpose of creation in Illusion is that each soul should realize its Union with God. This has been made possible only by the Advent of God in human form. As soon as God, the Ancient One, descends into the midst of Illusion, He, as the Avatar, becomes the active focal point of God's work in creation. The real life of God's Reality is established in the midst of Illusion. Through the Avatar, God gives out a call for all to come unto Him. Thus the infinite number of illusory selves receive the impact of the real life of the Avatar that shakes their clinging to anything that is false. Baba once conveyed with divine Authority to one of His dear ones, "Nothing is as it happens, for I am the One True Light." So all of the events in creation that seem to happen are nothing but the shadows in Illusion. God is Love; it is Love that is the link between God and Illusion. Out of His compassion, God periodically comes and lives in creation as Man. To remember Him, adore Him, and love Him is to wipe out the falseness attached to one's self. The Advent of the Avatar thus quickens the life of every soul in creation. Those souls who accept the Avatar as God in human form imbibe His Love directly, and others receive it indirectly. During the Avatar's Advent, the Law of the universe becomes embodied in Him and is actuated through Him as God's Will. So, in this Age, whatever Avatar Meher Baba has said and done is the direct manifestation of God's Will in creation. The ongoing life of all souls as they move towards God, the "Reality" (the center within each soul), is governed by this Law, which is also renewed by His presence on earth. In one of the messages given by Meher Baba during His visit to the United States in 1956, He explained the beauty and meaning of God's Descent into Illusion, as Avatar, the Eternal Perfect Master: The act of a Perfect Master [or the Avatar] is not repetitive . . . It is a creation of the utterly new, a descent of the Truth into the false . . . The redeeming act of a Perfect Master [or Avatar] is a flash of the Eternal in the midst of what is otherwise nothing but rigidly determined causation.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN This is the mystery of divine grace bestowed by the Perfect Master [or Avatar]. 2 Baba Calls Homi to Him Meher Baba, at the large, momentous Meherabad Meeting held in September 1954, had intimated the possibility that He would drop His physical body by April 1955. In response to the deep concern amongst His lovers over this unexpected disclosure, Baba gave the special message about "Internal Links." In it He stated that His physical presence was no longer necessary for His close ones to grow in His love. The people of Hamirpur, in the intensity of their faith and love, were inspired to deepen their remembrance of their Beloved Lord while He was still in their midst. In their longing, they discussed a plan to repeat Baba's name continuously around the clock until April 1955. Keshav Nigam, one of Baba's staunch lovers and the group head in this district, wrote to Adi explaining the plan to see whether Baba would approve of it. This was towards the end of 1954. Adi shared the contents of the letter with Baba, who appreciated the plan. However, He expressed a wish that instead of His name, they repeat any name of God of their choice (preferably from the religion in which they were born). This was communicated to them in a letter through Adi. The Hamirpur lovers were overjoyed at Baba's support for their continuous jap. A time schedule was arranged, which included most of the Baba Centers in the district, so that God's name would be recited every minute of the day. By Baba's Birthday in February, news of the jap in Hamirpur reached many parts of India through the Baba periodicals. In Madhya Pradesh and a few other states, Baba lovers eagerly took up the repetition., Baba later asked His lovers at all the different places in India to end this jap at midnight on April 30. As this activity was spreading in India, one of the mandali under Baba's instructions wrote a letter to Minoo Kharas in

2

Life at Its Best, pp. 21-22.

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST Karachi, asking him to arrange a jap of God's name there, if possible. It was to be carried on until the end of July. This extension in time, I presume, was due to be Baba's plan to go into seclusion from May to July at Satara, in a bungalow not far from Rosewood. This is a little of the background, as I have gathered, of the repetition of God's name that was undertaken with so much enthusiasm by Baba's lovers in India and Pakistan during the period following His Declaration. A poignant incident occurred during the period of jap in Karachi. In life there are times when one has to pass through situations which are beyond one's control; it may be an experience of excruciating suffering, an unexpected calamity, or the death of a close one. Meher Baba once stated, " ... people should look upon physical and mental suffering as gifts from God ... When accepted with grace and understood in their very root cause, they chasten the soul and introduce it to the abiding happiness of Truth." On another occasion, He conveyed to a group of His lovers, "Whatever I have said must and will come to pass. My words can never be in vain." The incident I am going to relate illustrates how a casual remark of Baba came to pass, but in His own way and in His own time. Rhoda Dubash of Karachi had met Baba at Satara in August 1954. After inquiring about her family, Baba said, "If I were to ask you to give Me one of your sons, would you willingly give him to Me?" Rhoda was overjoyed, interpreting this to mean that Baba wanted one of her sons, when older, to stay with Him as one of the mandali. Spontaneously she said, "Yes, Baba." In February or March 1955, as wished by Baba, His lovers in Karachi had arranged for a continuous round-the-clock jap of God's name. It was carried out in different homes, keeping to a fixed time schedule. The turn of Adi, Rhoda's husband, was from 4:30 to 5:00 P.M., and she did the next half hour. A tragedy occurred unexpectedly when this jap was being carried out in Karachi. It was on April 16, 1955. About 3:00 P.M. Adi and Rhoda's youngest son, Homi, who was just four and a half, fell from their second-floor window. Immediately, he was rushed to the hospital, where within half an hour he passed away without regaining consciousness.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN The moment the doctor pronounced the child dead, Baba's words flashed in Rhoda's mind, "If I were to ask you to give Me your son ..." She now understood what Baba had meant. She said later, "After the doctor told us of Homi's demise, I was completely dazed. But for Baba, I would have lost my equilibrium." By the time Adi and Rhoda reached home from the hospital, it was nearing four o'clock. The news of Homi's death had spread, and family and friends began pouring in. As it was almost 4:30 P.M., Adi told Rhoda that he was going upstairs to their small Baba room to do the jap as wished by Baba and not to let anyone attend to Homi's body until he finished. Just before five, Rhoda went upstairs to relieve him. Minoo Kharas, one of Baba's stalwarts in Karachi, finding them both missing downstairs, went up and induced Rhoda to let him do the jap in her place. She told him that she wished to go in the room for five minutes and begin the jap. As she bowed down to Baba's picture, a flood of tears flowed from her eyes, and spontaneously the words "Thy will be done" came to her lips. Instantly she felt immense relief. According to tradition, Homi's body could not be taken to the Tower of Silence (Parsi cemetery) that evening. So Rhoda, during a night vigil, sat beside Homi, silently imploring him, "Homi, go to our Beloved Baba. He is at Satara. Homi, find your way there; find your way to our Beloved and tell Him, 'I have come to Thee!’” The next morning, as the time for Homi's funeral drew near, the smile which was already on his face appeared radiant to her eyes, and she knew that Homi had met his Maker, Beloved Baba. A few days later came a letter from Satara wherein Dr. Goher wrote, "Baba says little Homi has come to Him and is with Him." Adi later related that when the people started for the funeral, he was remembering Baba all along the way; and when the gate of the Tower of Silence was opened, Adi visualized that he was leading Homi by the finger, and at the gate Adi felt he handed him over to Baba. After the funeral, in grief yet with loving resignation, they wrote to Baba, " ... We loved him [Homi], but he has gone back to his Father Who loved him far, far better than we did or ever would have. He was an angel, but now he is with 'The King of

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST Angels'! Beloved Baba, take him 'Unto Thee' so that he too may dedicate his life, his all, to Thee through eternities. Not ours, but Thy will be done, Baba ... When the tragedy struck us, fully knowing it was Your work, it still found us unprepared. Forgive us, dear Baba, our weaknesses. Call us near You and discipline us as You have disciplined so many of Your disciples so that we too may be worthy to serve and love Thee . . ." And, as always, the Compassionate Father heard their heartfelt prayers. When Baba received their letter, which also contained little Homi's photograph, Eruch wrote, "Baba very lovingly took Homi in His august hands." Baba then asked for a flashlight; He focused it on Homi, looked at him for a few seconds, and then handed the photo to Eruch to be sent to Adi and Rhoda with the following instructions: 1) Baba with His hands touched Homi. 2) You two frame the enclosed photo and keep it near you. 3) When you say that Homi has come to Baba, then you two must feel great relief; and with this knowledge Baba wants you both to feel happy. Baba also added in the letter how happy He was that in spite of the great loss Adi and Rhoda felt, they did not hesitate to carry out the jap entrusted to them. Today Adi and Rhoda look back with happiness to the years they enjoyed of dear Homi's company, and they both thank Baba from the bottom of their hearts for giving them this beautiful gift — their son, Homi, whose custodians they were destined to be for four and a half years. Baba gave them the lesson early in life that everything — father, mother, husband, wife, and children — is a passing phase, and the only real One is Baba. His is to give, His is to take; ours is to accept His Will with grace. In His compassion, He gives us the courage and strength to face the so-called tragedies and calamities of this world. Every one of us has to pass through suffering of some kind, both physical and mental, benignly guided by the divinely established law of karma bringing in the result of our own past actions and sanskaras. Yet no suffering is without

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN meaning. The purpose of pain and agony is to awaken us from our ignorant identification with our certain specific forms of life. However, for those who have the good fortune to come into the love orbit of the Avatar, suffering brings with it maximum spiritual results. His compassion also helps us to face and pass through these critical periods. And the loving remembrance of the Avatar cushions the blows of grief and sorrow while upholding and sustaining our trust in Him. It is only natural and human that sometimes in the midst of our sorrow and pain we cry out to Baba, "Why has this happened to me? Why didn't You protect me from this tragedy, from this suffering?" Here I am reminded of the story of Saint Teresa of Avila as it was told to me. Once Teresa was traveling by cart to another convent with some of her fellow nuns. On the way a violent storm arose; it began pouring rain, and the cart became stuck in the muddy road. It was bitter cold, and the nuns, now thoroughly drenched, were freezing. No help came. Finally Teresa went off at a distance and in her heart spoke out to Jesus, "Why has this suffering befallen us? We are only serving You in setting out on this journey, and yet we meet with such inconvenience and suffering!" And Jesus replied, "This is the way I treat My friends." Being natural and only human, Teresa said, "It's no wonder You have so few of them!" A Meeting at Rosewood in Satara While Baba was staying in Satara, I was working as a teacher in Kurduwadi. The academic year in my school was to end by the last week of April. The school would then be closed for a period of six weeks, the summer vacation. Naturally I was thinking about whether I would have the opportunity to see Baba during this time. Baba was leading a retired, secluded life at Satara, but I was allowed to write letters to Eruch. Once again I experienced that Baba knew the longing of my heart. About this time I received a letter from Eruch in which he wrote, "Baba wants you to be in Satara on 23rd April evening if it is absolutely convenient to and if you can safely and easily get leave."

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST I was overjoyed to get this call, but there was a slight "catch" to it. Eruch had underlined the word "if" each time he used it, and to reach Satara by the evening of the 23rd I would have to leave my home that same morning, which happened to be the last working day of the school year. According to school regulations, anyone absent on the last day forfeited all of his vacation pay, all six weeks' worth. Although I very much wanted to see Baba, the petty thought of losing six weeks' salary weighed on my mind. Was it "absolutely convenient" for me to forgo such a sum of money given my meager finances? I wasn't sure what to do. Naturally, I turned to Baba internally and called on Him for the right decision. But I never imagined that Baba would arrange the situation so that I would see Him, without losing "mammon" in the bargain! I made up my mind to leave on the 23rd and went to see my principal to explain the situation. To my utter astonishment, he told me that a few schools in our district were going to be on a special schedule. The staff of our particular school had been assigned the job by the government of collecting certain data, and consequently our vacation period had been postponed for one week. This meant that the 23rd was no longer the last working day. The principal granted me leave for that day, graciously excusing me from having to work on the government project. Isn't it true that sometimes when Baba gives, He gives with both hands! In his letter, Eruch informed me that Baba was going to hold a meeting on the 24th about His Decision. He also added, "Baba wants you to come ALONE and if you bring anyone else with you, then both of you will be driven out of Baba's premises." This humorous warning made me chuckle, for it conveyed Baba's most loving intimacy and made me all the more eager for the days to pass quickly so I could be once more in His presence. Eruch wrote further that I was not to talk about my personal matters with Baba nor should I tell anyone else about the meeting. And in closing, I was to confirm whether or not I would be coming. Immediately, I mailed a letter to Satara that I was coming and conveyed my special salutations to Beloved Baba.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN I reached Satara on the afternoon of the 23rd and went to the Travelers' Bungalow where arrangements had been made for our lodging. Dr. Deshmukh, Keshav Nigam, and Kishan Singh had also arrived. After washing up, we went to Rosewood. Baba was there with the men mandali. After Baba greeted us, He asked us to sit in a row before Him. He looked very splendid and regal. As usual, He asked solicitous questions about our welfare, about our trip to Satara, and then, in His customary casual way, He asked, "Is there anything worrying you?" I don't remember what the others said, or what Baba conveyed to them, but when it was my turn to answer, I hesitated. Baba gestured, "Speak out." Emboldened, I managed to stammer, "The one worry that plagues me is whether I will be able to hold on to Your damaan to the very end." Baba looked surprised and gestured, "Why?" I replied, "Baba, You are so infinite, so unfathomable and immeasurable; how can a most finite ordinary mind such as mine, with all its weaknesses, hold on to the damaan of the Infinite One?" Baba made a face that seemed to say that if ever in the world there had been a foolish question asked of Him, this was it. Then, without answering me, He turned to someone else and inquired whether they had any worries. After Baba had finished asking the others this question, He turned again to me and asked me to repeat my worry. I felt rather shy of doing this, but Baba's face glowed with compassion and so I managed to repeat my worry. Baba then made expansive gestures, indicating, "Yes, I am Infinite, I am Immeasurable." And He added, "I am the Highest of the High, I am the Greatest of the Great." Baba looked at me pointedly and continued, "But you missed one thing. I am simultaneously the lowest of the low and the smallest of the small." While expressing this, He clicked His fingernails, making a barely audible tick. This "tick" represented how infinitesimally small, while at the same time how infinitely Great, He is. And then He concluded, "Whatever little love you have for Me, if you hold on to it wholeheartedly and honestly, you will naturally be holding on to the damaan

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST of the Greatest of the Great, the Highest of the High." Baba's answer was so convincing and fulfilling for me, that its impact remains undiminished for me to this very day. Before sunset, Baba left for Grafton, and the four of us went back to the Travelers' Bungalow, our hearts full and our thoughts transported to that special realm where they effortlessly revolved around Beloved Baba. The next morning, by about 7:30, all thirty-six men attending the meeting were present at Rosewood. Some of us were seated in the front room while Baba chatted informally with us. His brother Beheram had come from Poona and brought with him copies of Baba's "cricket photo." It was an enlargement of Baba, as Merwan, taken from a team picture, showing Him seated on the ground in His uniform, wearing a medal. Beheram presented Baba with one of the photographs, and He was very pleased. With a humorous twinkle in His eyes, Baba turned to us and remarked, "I was in search of a perfect boy for years, and today I have found him." There was an appreciative laughter at Baba's quip, and in that mood of good-natured pleasantry, someone piped up, "Does this mean You will now give up the search for the perfect boy?" Baba quickly replied, "This is only a picture." Baba handed the photograph back to Beheram. I had no idea that by the end of the day this picture would acquire dramatic significance for me. After a few preliminary greetings and inquiries, Baba moved to the large adjacent room which could accommodate comfortably the entire group around His chair. He asked Pendu whether all had come and, receiving the reply, "Yes, Baba," He looked pleased. It was a great joy for all just to be in His company. Baba was in a lively, communicative mood. Although He had discontinued the use of the alphabet board, this did not seem to limit Him much in His personal conversations now with His dear ones, or later while He was discussing profound spiritual subjects. His facial expressions and hand gestures seemed to have become more eloquent and expressive. At the outset Baba expressed His happiness with the continuous jap that was being carried out in different parts of India. While mentioning Pakistan, He asked Eruch to relate

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN the incident of little Homi's accidental death. He expressed His appreciation of the firm conviction of Adi and Rhoda Dubash in Him as the Avatar of the Age. He also brought to the notice of all the importance of jap. For many of the mandali members, reciting Baba's name inwardly had become an intimate part of their lives, and on certain occasions, to give His dear ones the opportunity to participate in His spiritual work, Baba would ask them to repeat certain names of God for periods of time. For one who recites any of the divine names of God, whether audibly or silently, the repetition in time is transformed into a melody that rings in one's entire being, purifying thoughts and feelings. It often becomes like a springboard from which to dive deep into the profound levels of God's presence within. The rhythm of the name begins to resonate with the natural rhythm of the heart and becomes as vital as breathing. The name of the Ancient One strikes chords in the heart and sets them resounding to its natural tone. For the lovers of Meher Baba, His name is like a lighthouse that illumines and guides their sailing "selves" across the infinitely timeless ocean of Illusion to their shoreless Self — Baba, the Avatar. At one point, early in the meeting, casting a glance at the men gathered there, Baba conveyed, "Worries over personal and family affairs are always there, but don't let worries worry you for the day ... Remain cheerful and attentive ... don't yawn; those who appear drowsy will be expelled from the hall ... " 3 Baba smiled broadly. Although the meeting was originally scheduled from eight to eleven o'clock in the morning and three to five o'clock in the afternoon, it continued straight through from morning until 3:30 P.M. During the first hour, Baba referred briefly to His recent messages, from His Declaration to the Decision. With reference to the serious contents mentioned therein, Baba wished to give His followers the opportunity to choose whether to continue to follow Him or leave Him. He did not like His followers to sit on the fence, but rather to be wholehearted in their commitment. He conveyed:

3

"The Die Is Cast," The Awakener, Vol. III, No. 2 (Fall 1955), p. 13.

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST Each is free to think of Me and interpret My work as he feels or understands best. Either My words must be presented as they stand, or if interpreted by you, you must not fail to state it is your own interpretation ... I never denied being Perfect and being the Avatar, but you do not know that yet. I know I am the One without a second, alone, and matchless. You would be quite right to assert and proclaim whatever you truly believe Me to be — never hesitate to own your faith and belief in Me and about Me. But do not claim to know or feel what you actually do not. 4 A little later, Baba gave an important message on what has lasting value in life. He told us: The things of lasting value for the Path are: (1) Divine Love, (2) obedience to a Perfect Master, (3) absolutely sincere and wholehearted service to others, (4) true renunciation of all worldly things, leaving no room for thoughts other than that of God, the only Reality. Divine love is purely a gift from God to man ... Contact with a Perfect Master is never equally available to all men at all times . . . Selfless service and true renunciation are open to all, but possible only to the true heroes amongst men ... The best thing for the mandali [and for Baba lovers] is to obey Me and go on obeying Me to the last ... I know how difficult that is . . . but even if a few amongst you succeed in really obeying your Baba, you will indeed make Him truly great. 5 At this point, Baba, as He would often do, expressed categorically and yet in a very natural way the truth about His state and status as the Avatar. He declared: If I am what I am, it is all the more natural for you not to be able to understand all that I wish to express, and why I say all that I say . . . It has been going on like this for thousands and thousands of years . . . If I am the Highest of the High I know best why Jesus was crucified and why

4 5

Ibid., pp. 16-17. Ibid., pp. 18-19.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Mohammed was stoned . . . For all the so-called good and bad things said about Them by the so-called good and bad world, people understand next to nothing about Christ and Mohammed, about Ram and Krishna, Zoroaster and Buddha, about all the things They said and did. Those who believe in Me yet feel like questioning My words and actions are weak in their conviction and belief in Me ... To stick to Me means to keep Me pleased at the cost of your own comforts and pleasures. It means to remain resigned to My will whether you keep good health or bad, whether you make money or lose it, and whether you gain name and fame or become the laughing stock of others. 6 As Baba finished this statement, those who were there felt the power of Baba's divine radiance emanating from Him. At around noon, Baba asked Eruch to read out the general guidelines and instructions for His disciples and followers. In this prepared text entitled "Satara-Message," Baba very succinctly encapsulated His earlier four messages. As Eruch was about to begin, there was a patter of raindrops on the tin roof overhead. Baba gestured, "This is symbolic of the fact that all this you now hear has come right from My heart." The message was then read: According to My Final Decision, except for the time factor, everything will happen in every detail and sequence as declared, clarified, and confirmed by Me. There is now no limitation to any point in time, no contact with any point in time. Things may happen after one month or three months, after three years or twenty years. In short, I may speak tomorrow or My silence may be broken after ten years. I am free from all promises, bindings, undertakings, and arrangements. None should therefore ask for anything material or spiritual from Me, at any time or on any account. I will do what I think to be the best for one and all and when I deem it fit. It is only on the above basis that all concerned must now

6

Ibid., pp. 20-21.

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST decide whether to give up or hold on to My damaan: to believe in Me, revere Me, and remain devoted to Me, by following My orders and instructions. The period of three months from May 1 to July 31, 1955, is a period of crisis for Me. I must go into retirement for three reasons: for Myself, for those who love Me, and for all. During the period of My stay in Jal Villa at Satara, I will not step out of the central rooms of the bungalow. I may or may not eat and sleep regularly for the duration of the crisis. I am not bound to remain in any one place during or after the first month of My retirement. I may change My plans at any moment and might undertake to go on foot from place to place or go into even greater solitude. No one should under any circumstances come to see Me or communicate with Me directly or indirectly for any reason whatsoever up to the end of July 1955. All those closely connected with Me, all those who love Me, and all those who care to follow My instructions, must be scrupulously honest; must strictly abstain from sexual actions; and must try to spread My message of Love and Truth as far and wide as possible during the period of crisis for the three months from May 1 to July 31, 1955. 7 After a little break for tea, Baba was in the mood to explain further about certain subjects which had come up earlier. These messages have been printed in a special booklet entitled "The Die Is Cast." Baba concluded the explanation with these words: Whatever I have said and have been saying, I was made to say by God. When I say a thing, God makes Me say so. All I want to say now is that whatever I have declared and decided will be so and all things shall accordingly happen. 8 By 3:00 P.M., the main part of the meeting came to a close.

7 8

Life Circular, No. 25, May 1, 1955. The Awakener, Vol. III, No. 2, p. 24.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Omniscience Spiced with Humor At the close of the meeting, Baba turned to other subjects, the duties entrusted and instructions given to the mandali. He asked Adi to print and mail to all the Baba centers in India the special "Satara-Message" that had been read out during the meeting. Those who were especially invited for the day were told to share what they had witnessed and heard to the Baba lovers in their areas. During the course of conversation, Baba asked the resident mandali to decide whether they would like to be buried or cremated at Meherabad. The place of interment was to be at Lower Meherabad. This choice was offered only to those (with a few exceptions) who were staying with Baba. One of Baba's close lovers who was present at the meeting asked Baba if this privilege could be granted to him. Baba looked surprised and gestured, "The place allocated for the cemetery at Lower Meherabad is owned by Meherjee [Karkaria, Baba's disciple]. So you have to ask him about this." Meherjee, who was shrewd enough to understand Baba's wish in this matter, rejoined that the burial lot would cost a very large sum. This answer silenced the individual, who was known in Baba's circle not only for his scholarship but also for his stinginess. Promptly he responded, "All right, Baba, I don't wish to bother Meherjee; and I willingly withdraw my proposal." Baba looked amused and made a gesture with His hand meaning, "What can I do now?" And there was a visible smile on many faces. Maybe owing to this minor episode, Baba once again reminded the gathering that no one should ask Him any personal questions, as He had yet to attend to some other things. At this moment, I somehow remembered my friend Mauni Buwa, whom I had met just before leaving my hometown. Coincidentally, Mauni had first met Baba in Satara in 1947. A number of times since then, Baba had given him some instructions to follow. So as I was leaving for the meeting, he requested me to convey his salutations to Baba and also ask

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST whether Baba wanted him to observe any further instructions. I thought that telling Mauni's wish to Baba would not be considered a personal question. And now that the main part of the meeting was over, I thought of casually bringing up his request. So I raised my hand to attract Baba's attention and to indicate that I had something to say. Kaka Baria, who was standing near Baba's chair, felt much disturbed by my gesture. Kaka was one of Baba's dearest disciples. In the '30s, he accompanied Baba during His visits to the West as a personal attendant. Baba would often tell His Western disciples about Kaka's exemplary obedience to Him. Kaka had a kind and loving heart and was a very outspoken person. I had no personal contact with him, but I knew him as one of the senior members among the mandali and had great regard for him. But as he now looked at me and scowled, and began to berate me in front of all, I became upset. He was saying something excitedly, half in English and half in Gujarati, and this confused me all the more. The gist of what I gathered from his talk was: Bal thinks that he is wise, but in fact he knows very little about spirituality and even less about literal obedience to the Master. Kaka stopped for a few seconds, and I wanted to explain myself. But Kaka again started up and blamed me for disturbing Baba's mood. Later I learned that anything that would displease or inconvenience Baba would make Kaka lose his temper. But on that day, in my case, he was mistaken. So I began to feel that I was being treated unfairly by not having a chance to express what I had to say. Really, I had no intention of asking any personal question of Baba. And to top it all, Baba looked straight at me and conveyed, "What Kaka has said is right. You should not have raised your hand." I was astounded to hear this from Baba — the All-knowing One! That very moment a fleeting doubt crept into my mind, "Does He really know what I have in mind?" Baba went on to say that I had disobeyed Him, and there must be some atonement for it. Without letting me say anything, He continued, "You know, this morning Beheram has brought plenty of copies of My photo — the 'Cricket Picture.' I

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN want you to buy a hundred copies from him." The cost of each picture was two rupees. At that time my salary was meager, and spending two hundred rupees for this purchase was financially difficult. Fortunately, the next moment, the thought came to me, "If this purchase is going to please Baba, I should not hesitate but willingly go in for it." So I replied, though in a low tone, "Yes, Baba." But Baba was not through with me yet. He added one more thing. "Not only must you purchase these copies, but you must sell them to others." Now my spirits really sank. I thought, "There are so many beautiful pictures of Baba that are available to His followers. Who would prefer to buy this photo? It would really be difficult for me to fulfill this order." Being distraught, I was now not attentive to the other subjects that were being discussed in the meeting. I was absorbed in my own predicament. There were only a few Baba lovers in my town, and hardly five would be likely to purchase the copy after hearing my story. I sat there, deep in thought, with my eyes closed. Baba suddenly brought me back to attention by snapping His fingers. I looked up at Him, and He gestured in a concessionary way, "All right, you only have to buy and sell fifty." This made my problem a little more manageable, but I was still troubled because I felt myself being wrongly accused. Without being given a chance to explain, I was humiliated in front of others. In the next few moments many thoughts and feelings surfaced within me which were hard to face. By this time, I had already decided not to mention Mauni's request to Baba. Just then I again heard Baba snap His fingers. With a smile on His face He held up His ten fingers, "All right, purchase only ten copies. Happy?" This really cheered me and I was able to begin paying attention again to what was going on in Baba's presence. But soon came the Masterstroke from the Master of masters! Again looking at me, Baba raised the five fingers of His right hand and with a smile conveyed, "Purchase only five." The next moment, He gave a look to Sarosh and added, "Sarosh, I have now asked Bal to purchase five copies of My 'Cricket Picture' from Beheram, and I order

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST you to buy them all from him." What a compassion seasoned with humor! I was overjoyed and felt totally relieved. Grinning happily, I took out a ten-rupee currency note, went to Beheram, got five copies of Baba's picture from him, took them to Sarosh, and put the ten rupees that he gave me back into my pocket. I had to spend nothing, but what an immense gain this transaction brought me! I had at last pleased Baba. I deeply felt that Baba really is the All-knowing One, and that it had only been the slightest doubt of mine about Him that put me through all the mental turmoil. I also lacked the sportsman's spirit. But what a marvelous sense of humor the Avatar has! Matchless! Through this whole experience Baba's presence reached deep within me to regain my lost trust in Him as the Omniscient One. It is funny that even to this day I do not own a copy of the "Cricket Picture." However, the experience that Baba gave me that day continues to help me in seeing and feeling that He really knows everything. That lesson has not left me since, and so I am still discovering the truth of it, in spite of my failures, many a time with Baba's humorous sighs and sometimes with His tender reprimands. At night, I stayed at Travelers' Bungalow. Early next morning, luckily (I call it "Babaly"), I got a lift in Meherjee's car up to Poona, and then I proceeded by train to my home town. As I look back, every meeting with Baba has offered me a treasure trove, and each time it was of a different variety. Every meeting has also helped me to feel more intimate with Him. With the passage of time, these "Meher-moments" have become aglow with greater, delightful radiance. Although the spiritual significance of each episode remained beyond my comprehension, the heart readily confirmed its direct, inspiring effects on my relationship with Baba; that was not just a figment of my imagination. The Mehermoments often silently perform such "miracles." However, during this present visit, as the game was played too close, I failed to enjoy it thoroughly. The awareness that Baba was all the time smiling behind the scenes came much later. But that is fun too.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN "Free from All Promises" On May 1, 1955, Meher Baba retired in seclusion at Jal Villa for three months for His inner spiritual work. Correspondence with Him was stopped until the end of July; however, as in the past, I continued to write, when necessary, to Adi or Eruch. Then some now-forgotten reason took me to Satara for a few hours. Baba graciously permitted me to see Him at Jal Villa, just for darshan, no questions. He was sitting alone, looking radiant as ever, in a tiny room that couldn't have been more than six by eight feet. This was the place in the bungalow He had chosen for His seclusion work. I entered the room with a garland in my hands. Baba smiled at me and pointed to a small frame with a printed message displayed on the wall facing His seat, gesturing that I should offer the garland there, rather than to Him. I was surprised by this, but didn't ask Him why. As I was fitting the string around the frame, I chanced to read a few of the words: "I AM FREE FROM ALL PROMISES . . ." — MEHER BABA. I didn't try to read the whole text, nor did Baba explain anything. He allowed me to sit for a while and asked me some informal questions that conveyed His intimacy with me. At the end, He raised His right hand, palm facing me, in a gesture meaning, "Don't worry; go happily." Then He beamed a smile, and I left Jal Villa with a rare joy flowing into my heart. I totally forgot about this brief meeting with Baba until recently, when the whole scene was vividly brought back to me in an unexpected way. When the work on this volume was nearing completion, I happened to go to Meherabad. While there, I visited the large Mandali Hall in Lower Meherabad where Baba used to meet His disciples and groups of lovers during sahavas. Many memories in my life with Baba are connected with this place. One of the chairs that was used by Baba is still there. Reverently, I stood before the chair with my eyes closed. Then I glanced up at the colored portrait of Baba, which rests on a ledge between two smaller pictures of His parents. These photos have been there since the opening of the Hall. For the first time, I noticed a small framed message

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST hanging there above Baba's chair, with Baba's name clearly visible at the end of the text. Out of curiosity I went closer, reached up (I had to stand on my toes), and took the frame from its hook. The message read: I AM FREE FROM ALL PROMISES, BINDINGS, UNDERTAKINGS AND ARRANGEMENTS. NONE SHOULD THEREFORE ASK FOR ANYTHING MATERIAL OR SPIRITUAL FROM ME AT ANY TIME OR ON ANY ACCOUNT. I WILL DO WHAT I THINK TO BE THE BEST FOR ONE AND ALL AND WHEN I DEEM IT FIT. — MEHER BABA Suddenly it came to me that this was an excerpt from the message given by Baba to a small gathering in Rosewood on April 24, 1955. And I recalled that while it was being read, raindrops had pattered on the roof. With a dignified innocence, Baba had gestured, "See, this is the sign that these words have come from My heart." On close observation of the frame and the style of lettering, I became sure that this was the same frame that had hung in that tiny room where Baba worked in seclusion, and which He had asked me to garland. It was the only frame displaying that unique message. Later I found out that the message was not printed, but hand-lettered, and this confirmed my feeling that it was indeed the same frame. I could also see that white ants had done some damage to the backing of the frame, which showed that it must have been hanging in that same spot for many years (it has since been repaired). In fact, the framed message had been on the wall of Meherabad Mandali Hall since the late '50s, silently offering Baba's message to those who met Him there during small meetings and large gatherings. Was Baba working on the truth of that statement during His seclusion in 1955, in order to release it into the hearts of His lovers at the appropriate time? Does it not clearly indicate the real nature of one's relationship with the Avatar — that it must be without any expectations, but only a cheerful, voluntary resignation to His divine Will? I feel that it does.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Thus, that ordinary wooden frame had hung high on the wall in that large Hall for years without my noticing it. But then, at the most opportune time, in 1991, Baba brought it to my attention. Knowing its place in the chronological order of Baba's life, I took it as an indication from Him that He knew what part of His life I was "glimpsing." The short message rekindled my memories about the Satara meeting. Once, at Rosewood, I confessed to Baba that I was worried as to how my finite mind with its innumerable weaknesses could possibly hold fast to the damaan of the Avatar — Infinite Consciousness Personified. And now, as I stood near Baba's chair, staring at this frame again after so many years, I felt that Baba was answering my question from another perspective replete with deep significance. It occurred to me now that holding on to Baba's damaan implies an awareness of how closely He is holding on to each one of us, in His unfettered freedom, for He knows what is best for every one of His followers. Baba's ways of awakening the heart to His gifts are immensely graceful. He waits patiently until the specified time to reveal their true significance. In 1955, Baba showed me just the frame; the contents contained therein were brought to my notice thirty-five years later. To use a metaphor, He had given me the shell, and, in His deep compassion, He took that shell deep into the Ocean of His presence. Decades later, He offered it back to me with a precious lustrous pearl in it. This was both an indication and an assurance to me, that I should depend totally on Him and trust His message that His Will forever functions for the best of all. May He give me the ability to gratefully acknowledge the peerless dignity of His act of grace, and may Baba help me to keep this treasure in a befitting manner in my heart forever. The Avatar is the Unconditional Infinite, totally free, yet, out of mercy, becoming totally bound for one and all. The boundless freedom of the Avatar is unique — in this rests His authority to freely dispense His grace. I would like to conclude this volume by recalling a ghazal that was sung in Baba's presence, and which I have often

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DECISION: THE DIE IS CAST remembered during my writing. In this ghazal a lover of God relates something of his experience of God's presence: The efficacy of obeisance offered with total purity of heart is indescribable — incredible! For whenever I bowed to the ground to offer my sijda, I found to my amazement that the Holy Stone of Ka'aba had slid underneath my forehead! Really, I feel that I have neither the intensity nor purity of trust in God that are indicated in this couplet. But the Avatar, God in human form, is the Most Compassionate One. In His loving free Will He stoops down to the level of any of His followers. So Avatar Meher Baba has guided me in His marvelous ways in my attempt to share with the readers a few "glimpses" of His Infinite Life. Since the day I undertook this work many delightful and unexpected coincidences have happened: many times the information I was looking for was "slid under my door," and I would meet the people connected with the events I was writing about. Timeless are the moments lived in one's heart in the company of the Avatar, the eternally Present One. These moments have the unique ability to reach anyone at any point in time in their original elegance and liveliness. Matchless are those Meher-Moments! Now it is my heartfelt prayer to Baba that He continue to play the same Game with the readers as they glean through these pages — may He fill each scene and story with His lively presence to delight their hearts. Avatar Meher Baba once conveyed through His graceful gestures: I am the Ocean of Love. I have only love to give, and all I want is love. Love knows best, and Meher Baba is That.

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GLOSSARY abhanga: A meter used in Marathi poetry. Ahuramazd: Almighty God. Allah: God in the Beyond State; Almighty God. Allah-hu-Akbar: God is the Greatest. anand: Bliss. arti: A cry from the yearning heart; an ancient Hindu method of concluding worship. Traditionally, at the time of arti, small lighted lamps or joss sticks are slowly waved in a circle before the person, idol, or picture of the deity, saint, Man-God, or God-Man being worshipped, while a special song with a theme or refrain of offering oneself to the One worshipped is sung. Meher Baba's lovers do not necessarily do this when His arti is sung. ashram: A place for contemplation on the Divine; a place of residence for spiritual aspirants. avatar, an: An incarnation manifesting a specific divine quality. Avatar, the: "God-become-man." The incarnation of God, the infinite, in a finite human form. The God-Man, Messiah, Christ, Rasool, Saheb-e-Zaman. bhajan: A devotional song or the singing of devotional songs. bhakti: Wholehearted devotion. biryani: A spicy rice dish. chapati: Flat, unleavened wheat bread. chutney: A paste made of spices, chillies, and other ingredients. damaan: Lit., the hem of a garment. dakshana: Money given, usually to a priest, for offering prayers; a gift in the name of God. dargah: A place where a Moslem saint — wali, pir, or Qutub — is buried.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN darshan: Formal or informal audience given by the Master who bestows his blessings on his devotees or visitors and receives their homage. Sometimes the Master uses the occasion to distribute prasad as well; also the act of bowing in reverence. dhal (also dal): A common preparation made from any of several types of lentil common in India. dharamshala: A free rest house for travelers. dhyan: Meditation. dnyan: Gnosis, Real Knowledge, discrimination. Ekadashi: The eleventh day of each fortnight on the Hindu calendar. ghazal: A short love poem. An ode. A special poetic composition in Persian, Urdu, or Hindi. jai: Hail, praise, victory to. jap: Repetition of a name of God or any sacred word. jhopri: (sometimes spelled zopdi): A hut. kamli: Coarse woolen blanket. kanya: Literally, daughter. Also, a virgin who has dedicated her life, from her youth, to God, the God-Man, or a Sadguru. karma: The working of the law of action and reaction in relation to oneself and others. Fate. The happenings in one's lifetime preconditioned by one's past lives. ki: A suffix indicating the possessive case. kirtan: The singing of devotional songs accompanied by music, interspersed with stories from the lives of the Avatar and His lovers, and also with some explanations on spiritual subjects. kusti: A sacred thread worn by the Zoroastrians. lila: Lit., sport. God's "Divine Sport" that manifests the universe.

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GLOSSARY mandali: Lit., a group associated with a common activity. A group of intimate disciples of a Perfect Master or the Avatar. manonash: Annihilation of the mind (self). mantra: A sacred name or phrase repeated to invoke God. mast (Pronounced must): A God-intoxicated person on the spiritual path. Maya: Lit., illusion — that which does not exist. The principle of Ignorance, which makes the Nothing appear as everything. In a general sense, false attachment. mukti: Liberation from the cycle of death and birth. namaskar: The placing of one's palms together as a sign of respect or greeting. nazar: Lit., glance. A glance of protective grace. nullah: A gully. paan: A masticatory containing a few spices wrapped in a betel leaf. pandal: An awning. pinjra: A cage. qawwali: A traditional type of singing spiritual songs, usually in Urdu or Persian, accompanied by musical instruments. These compositions are addressed to the Beloved in a very intimate way. Qutub: Lit., hub or axis. A Perfect Master. Rasool-e-Khuda: The Messenger of God. Sadguru: A Perfect Master. A Man-God. Infinitely conscious of God and creation simultaneously. sadhu: A pilgrim; a seeker or wanderer; a rare one is an "advanced soul." sadra: A thin, ankle-length muslin shirt. sahaj: Natural, spontaneous. Sahaj Samadhi: The spontaneous experience of the Perfect Masters and the Avatar of their infinite, effortless, and continuous life of Perfection — divinity in action.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN sahavas: Lit., close companionship. An opportunity given by the Avatar to spend time with Him and to intimately feel His presence. A gathering held in His honor where His lovers and followers meet to remember Him. samadhi: In a general sense, a trance induced by spiritual meditation. Also a place where the body or the last remains of a saint, a Perfect Master, or the Avatar are interred. sanskaras: Impressions left by thoughts, feelings, and actions. shloka: A Marathi couplet. sijda: Stooping so as to touch the ground with the forehead in adoration of God. wali: Lit., a friend. In a special sense, a friend of God, or someone on the fifth plane of consciousness.

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BIBLIOGRAPHY There are many books by and about Meher Baba, His life, and His teachings. For the sake of convenience, only some are included in this list. BOOKS BY MEHER BABA Beams from Meher Baba on the Spiritual Panorama. San Francisco: Sufism Reoriented, 1958. Discourses. 7th edition, one volume, newly revised. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1987. The Everything and the Nothing. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1989. God Speaks. 2nd edition, revised and enlarged. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1973. God to Man and Man to God. Meher Baba's Discourses, edited and condensed by C. B. Purdom. England: Victor Gollancz, 1955; Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1975. Life at Its Best. New York: Harper and Row, 1972. BOOKS ABOUT MEHER BABA The Ancient One: A Disciple's Memoirs of Meher Baba, edited by Naosherwan Anzar. Englishtown, N.J.: Beloved Books, 1985. Because of Love: My Life and Art with Meher Baba by Rano Gayley. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1983. The Beloved by Naosherwan Anzar. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1974. The Dance of Love: My Life with Meher Baba by Margaret Craske. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1980. 82 Family Letters to the Western Family of Lovers and Followers of Meher Baba, written by Mani (Manija Sheriar Irani) from December 1956 to August 1969. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1976.

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GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba by Bal Natu. Vol. I (1943-1948), Walnut Creek, Calif.: Sufism Reoriented, 1977. Vol. II (January 1949-March 1952), Bombay: Meher House Publications, 1979. Vol. III (February 1952-February 1953), Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1982. Vol. IV (February-December 1953), Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1984. Vol. V (January 1-March 6, 1954), Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1984. The God-Man by Purdom. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1971. How a Master Works by Ivy Oneita Duce. Walnut Creek, Calif.: Sufism Reoriented, 1975. Journey with God by Francis Brabazon. Beacon Hill, N.S.W., Australia: Beacon Hill Publishing Co., 1954. Letters from the Mandali of Avatar Meher Baba, Volume I, compiled by Jim Mistry. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1981. Listen, Humanity, narrated and edited by D. E. Stevens. New York: Harper and Row, 1971. Lord Meher: The Biography of the Avatar of the Age, Meher Baba by Bhau Kalchuri. Vol. I (1894-1922), Vol. II (1922-1925), Vol. III (1925-1929), Vol. IV (1929-1932), Vol. V (1932-1934). North Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Manifestation, 1986-1990. Love Alone Prevails by Kitty Davy. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1981. The Mastery of Consciousness by Allan Y. Cohen. New York: Harper and Row, 1977. Much Silence by Tom and Dorothy Hopkinson. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1975. Stay with God by Francis Brabazon. Australia: Meher Baba Foundation,1977. The Ocean of Love: My Life with Meher Baba by Delia DeLeon. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1991. Three Incredible Weeks with Meher Baba by Malcolm Schloss and Charles Purdom. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1979. The Wayfarers (Meher Baba with the God-intoxicated) by William Donkin. Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Press, 1988.

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BIBLIOGRAPHY

MAGAZINE DEVOTED TO MEHER BABA Glow International (Quarterly), Editor, Naosherwan Anzar, The Meher Baba Work, P.O. Box 10, New York, NY. 10185. RELATED BOOKS Conversations with the Awakener by Bal Natu; Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Foundation, 1991. More Conversations with the Awakener by Bal Natu; Myrtle Beach, S.C.: Sheriar Foundation, 1993. In Dust I Sing by Francis Brabazon, Berkeley, Calif.: Beguine Library, 1974.

For a complete list of books by or about Meher Baba write: Sheriar Press 3005 Highway 17 North ByPass Myrtle Beach, South Carolina 29577 USA 259