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GET MOTIVATED
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First published in 2007 by Allen & Unwin Copyright © Justin Herald 2007 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act. Allen & Unwin 83 Alexander Street Crows Nest NSW 2065 Australia Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100 Fax: (61 2) 9906 2218 Email:
[email protected] Web: www.allenandunwin.com National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry: Herald, Justin. Get Motivated. ISBN 978 1 74114 990 6. 1. Motivation (Psychology). I. Title 153.8 Set in 11/14 Sabon by Midland Typesetters, Australia Printed in Australia by McPherson’s Printing Group 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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To the best parents I could have hoped for, thank you for instilling in me the proper foundations that have got me this far in life. The principles you taught me have been the secret to my success.
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CONTENTS
Introduction
1
1
What’s the point of motivation?
3
2
Opportunity’s a knockin
5
3
There’s no such word as ‘can’t’
8
4
It’s what you don’t see that is where you need to focus
12
5
Risky business
15
6
Have a crack!!
18
7
What you see is not always what you get
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8
Contender or pretender?
25
9
But what?!
28
10
Victim or victor?
31
11
Stickability
34
12
Getting out of a financial mess
37
13
Handling disappointment
40
14
Life scan
43
15
You set your standards
46
16
Selective hearing
49
17
You have to see the bigger picture
52
18
Pain is gain
55
19
Be vulnerable
57
20
How determined are you?
60
21
Be a control freak
64
22
Respond—don’t react!
67
23
You have to change
70
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Contents
24
No strings attached
74
25
What is it you desire?
77
26
Be passionate
80
27
Success is all about influence
84
28
What you focus on is all that you will see 87
29
Ethics is not a dirty word!
89
30
Attitude is everything
92
31
It all comes down to work
95
32
Negativity limits you
97
33
I could never do that!
100
34
Nothing comes easy
103
35
The five senses of the entrepreneur
106
36
Live life to your fullest potential
110
37
It has to be bigger than you
113
38
Find your faults
117
39
Think right
120 ix
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Actions speak louder than words
123
41
Don’t be log-eyed
126
42
So, what is your real motivation?
129
43
Self-creation
133
44
Don’t lose sight
136
45
The sad passing of commonsense
139
46
Your future is not in your past
142
47
‘Impossible’ is just an opinion
145
48
Don’t just do something . . . sit there!
148
49
Back from the brink
151
50
Prepare properly
154
51
Minimum expectation
157
52
The grass always is greener . . .
160
53
So, what now?
163
The prosperity for a purpose project
165
Also by Justin Herald
168
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INTRODUCTION
Thank you for reading this book. What you are about to read will not only challenge your thinking, I trust it will also act as a catalyst for greater things in your life. This book is made up of a series of short chapters, designed to be read either cover to cover, or so you can pick it up and, in a short space of time, find that little piece of inspiration that will make a difference. Each week, thousands of people all over the world receive my newsletter through my website, www. justinherald.com, and what you are about to read is a compilation of those articles that have changed and affected many lives. I hope they will do the same for you, too. This book is a result of the thousands of requests for me to compile my articles. I trust you are able to be inspired by them as well. The lives we lead can sometimes be complicated, busy, frustrating and, at the same time, rewarding. I have endeavoured to cover as many different and 1
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various aspects of life as possible so as you can approach any situation with confidence. Now sit back and enjoy.
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WHAT’STHEPOINT OFMOTIVATION? I know what you’re thinking. Here is some bloke that’s going to give me a whole lot of ‘rah rah’ to try to get me to achieve more. Well, that is not really the point of motivation. I agree with you when it comes to rah rah—all it does is address an immediate feeling and response, and that’s about all. It’s nothing but a short-term result. Getting all ‘charged up’ in the moment does nothing but spark excitement, whereas we need to be constantly motivating ourselves to do better and to achieve all that we desire. That said, it’s a personal thing. Not everyone gets motivated by hearing a speaker, reading a book or by talking to someone who has reached a greater level of success. It’s up to you to find what it is that flicks your switch. There are many people who spend thousands of dollars attending wealth-creation seminars, trying to find that answer that will make them a million dollars. Yet few people see the need to explore ways to be a 3
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better person or to find the reasons as to why they are constantly falling short of their desired outcomes. We’re all human beings, and we all have human responses, both positive and negative. If you think about it for a minute, it is us, as human beings, that create the wealth we desire. So if you’re falling short of your financial goals, it makes perfect sense that you need to address every area of your life, including your personal aspirations. There are plenty of great books out there that will assist you in your journey. But make sure they have been written by people who have actually done what you want to do. While some people may have some great theories, it is always wise to ensure they have actually practised them. Otherwise you are just a guinea pig for their ideas. As you’re on your journey make sure, too, that you take note of the areas that you have addressed— you don’t want to fall back into your old ways of operating. By keeping track of your personal progress you are able to keep on track along your way.
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OPPORTUNITY’S AKNOCKIN There’s that old saying that ‘opportunity knocks’. But for many, opportunity always seems to pass them by. My theory: If opportunity isn’t knocking, build a door! By that, I mean don’t wait for opportunities to present themselves to you; you need to go out there and create an environment where opportunity has a chance to grow. A lot of people want to know what is around the corner in their life’s journey before they take the next step. This is such a shame as it is the fear of the unknown that should heighten our awareness to grasp every opportunity and take it as far as we can. It is those experiences that we haven’t prepared for that make us better and stronger human beings. Every now and then I get the odd sour sack telling me that the only reason I reached the level of success I did was because I was just ‘lucky’. Well, truth be told, I guess I was lucky to start off with . . . I was lucky that I only had $50 to my name. I was lucky that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. And 5
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I was lucky that I had to learn the ropes very quickly. You see, you can’t just write off some people’s success by throwing out the old ‘luck’ line. The one thing that I did know was that I was sick and tired of getting nowhere in my life. The opportunity? To make a change and to try to get myself out of that. Now, I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that it was up to me to make the change. I saw this as a great opportunity to take control of my situation. You will find that when you back yourself and step out, opportunities will start popping up around you. But the difference between this and the person waiting for an opportunity to present itself before they take that step is that, with action comes opportunity. Looking at others who seem to experience success often and simply putting it down to ‘luck’ is shortsighted as you don’t know what effort they have put into their success. Recently, due to my exposure from writing articles and books, and from my various speaking engagements, I have been contacted by numerous media outlets wanting to get me involved in their projects. Now, I have to say, this is not something that I have been working towards for years; this is just a by-product of me doing the best I can in the areas I have concentrated on. You see, as you excel, opportunities arise for you to go above and beyond what you might have imagined even for yourself. Just because you are at a certain stage in your life right now does not mean that you have to stay there, or that you have to merely cope with what you are 6
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Opportunity’s a knockin
given each day. This is why we all need to source out opportunities in our lives, so we can turn our situations around. Don’t wait for them to come to you, go out there and create opportunities for your life. Remember, though, opportunity might not look like you think it should. It might present itself in a way that will cause you to dismiss it. My biggest successes in life have grown from what most people would have dismissed as stupid ideas. You are in charge of you own life, so make sure you are ready for whatever comes your way.
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3
THERE’SNOSUCH WORDAS‘CAN’T’ I remember a few years ago I was given a framed picture as a gift after speaking at a sales conference. The picture was of a long road winding down a steep mountain, with a car halfway down on its journey towards the bottom. The following saying appeared underneath the picture: ‘A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.’ This is now how I view every situation and venture that I enter into. No matter whether it is in my personal life or my business life, I apply the above statement to my journey. How many people do you know—maybe even yourself—who, as soon as something difficult crosses their path, they give up? All they see is the difficult bends instead of the straight road at the end of the journey. Or even worse, they come out with the words ‘I CAN’T’! Most times, we all think ‘can’t’ means that something just cannot be achieved—end of argument, no 8
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correspondence entered into. However, when people use the ‘can’t’ excuse, I believe what they are really saying is one or more of the following three things: 1. I don’t want to. 2. I’m too lazy. 3. I couldn’t be bothered. 1. I don’t want to—this is a conscious thought process. By saying this you are admitting to yourself that you don’t want to continue in the direction in which you are currently heading. This might be the right decision for some people. Maybe you have been heading down the wrong path, aiming at something that you really don’t want. Perhaps the effort required is way more than you are willing to put in. On the other hand, this might be the excuse you use all the time as soon as things start to get tough; perhaps you expect your dreams and goals to ‘just happen’, without effort. This is a real shame because with real effort comes real results. There are many people who you probably come in contact with every day who would fit this category. While they want everything that life has to offer, they just get to a point where it all becomes too hard and they give up. They even try to justify their lack of achievement by blaming others, yet the real reason for their failings is that they just don’t want it bad enough. 2. I’m too lazy—laziness is basically lack of appropriate action. Without action, there is absolutely no way you 9
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will ever reach those goals you have set for yourself. Some people actually believe they will reach their goals and live their dreams one day without lifting a single finger. Being lazy is probably the worst mind-set to overcome; it has the potential to affect every aspect of your life and lifestyle. It can become way too easy to rationalise why you haven’t achieved anything without ever admitting to yourself the fact that it comes down to pure laziness. The biggest problem lazy people have is that most of them don’t realise they are lazy. They end up shortcircuiting their own goals because they are blinded to their faults. Laziness is lack of action. If this sounds like your behaviour, you need to turn yourself around and take action. Understand that, until you change it, nothing will change. 3. I couldn’t be bothered—this is an attitudinal issue. Out of this reason and the ‘I’m too lazy’ one above, this is probably the more realistic and common, yet very few people are prepared to admit to it. When this is the real reason behind not wanting to move towards attempting to achieve your goals, all you need to do is change your thinking to a more positive outlook. You cannot put blame on anyone else or on any other circumstance when this is the true reason. It is up to you and only you to change this type of mentality. I am yet to meet someone who doesn’t want to experience some level of success in their life. But I have met many people who think that it is all too 10
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hard, and so don’t even give it a try. Just by starting something that could take you closer to your dreams you’re taking the first step. Waiting for the ‘perfect time’ is a waste of time. Today is the perfect time to start. Stop procrastinating and stop being your own personal nightmare.
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4
IT’SWHATYOUDON’T SEETHATISWHERE YOUNEEDTOFOCUS I am not sure if you have ever seen a skyscraper being built, but what always blows me away is the amount of preparation that goes into its construction. While you and I see the unbelievable finished product of some of the world’s tallest buildings, what many people don’t see is the work that is done even before they start building. What they have to do is dig down many many storeys into the ground to ensure there is a great deal of weight and support under the actual building. The designers and builders of these huge skyscapers realise that its strength will not come from the façade or the top floor; its strength will come from its foundation. Its strength comes from what is not seen by the naked eye. So when working on your foundation, you will need to do a lot of work on things that no one else will ever 12
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see. If you don’t, just like a skyscraper built with no foundation, your success will crumble in on itself and be very short-lived. You see, it is the areas that need addressing such as our attitudes towards money, our attitudes towards generosity, our self-esteem and the like that will be the deciding factors as to whether we ever experience prosperity. If you don’t address these areas, then you will really be struggling through your journey, as all of these issues will continually pop their heads up. Wouldn’t it be easier to work on these issues now, before you head down the path to a better financial position or to a greater level of success? Wouldn’t it be smarter to address these issues now instead of when you have a lot more to potentially lose? I really had to address my issues with money when I started my business. At the age of 25 I only had $1.25 in the bank, so I had some obvious moneyspending issues to overcome BEFORE I could proceed any further. While there may be some people thinking that if they made a million dollars their problems would be solved and they would be out of their financial pickle, the reality is that those problems would still be there, except that now there would be even more of a loss to potentially incur. What you need to understand is that, when building your foundation, you need to ensure you have the right mix of everything. By that, I mean you need to work on all aspects of your personal life. If you were mixing cement for the foundations of your house, you would not want to take a short cut and leave out the 13
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sand or the water. You would need to ensure that the mix of ingredients was exact, otherwise the final outcome would be a total waste of time and resources. So make sure you don’t just focus on making money and disregard personal issues along the way. Ensure that you are constantly addressing your faults. Otherwise it is those faults that will eventually stop you in your tracks and send you back to where you originally started—or even further behind. It is only when you realise that reaching success has as much to do with work and your work ethic as it has to do with the ultimate outcome, that you will finally be cut out to take on the journey. It won’t be easy, but it will be rewarding if you put in the effort.
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5
RISKYBUSINESS
I believe that we are all divided into two groups when it comes to taking risks. There are those who take risks and those who don’t. Simple, really, isn’t it? I know that I probably just blew you away with my insight, but someone had to do it. I have always believed that everything in life and in business is essentially quite easy. It is we who tend to complicate it all the time. Risks, at times, are misunderstood. Many people take risks as a last resort, so that when they do so they panic and make rash decisions, thus putting their dreams and goals further at risk. This is the kind of thinking that I want to change here. I want to show you that by taking some risks we can surge ahead in our pursuit towards our goals and dreams. But I also want to show you how not to lose everything when taking those risks. The biggest mistake I believe people make when taking a risk is that they don’t understand that there are two types of risk. 15
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First, there is just the plain old risk. This is the choice or decision you make regardless of the consequences: the outcome is really up in the air. Anything could happen and you will just have to wear the outcome, like it or not. There is no element of control to this risk. Secondly, there is the calculated risk. This is the kind of risk that can be so effective in your pursuit of all that you want. I really want to focus on this second risk, the calculated risk, as I believe that, if understood, it can open up a whole new way of thinking and operating within your life. So what is a calculated risk? ‘Calculated’ is just that. You need to work out the worst possible result BEFORE you take that risk. You need to understand the whole process before you start. Too many people, in either their personal life or in business, optimistically make decisions and take risks without for one second giving any thought as to what they may lose if the risk doesn’t work out. I am not sure about you, but after having nothing for most of my life there is no way I want to go back to that. That means I am going to make sure that every decision takes me in a forward direction, not backwards. Sure, I have taken some risks in business that have had disastrous results and I have since had to minimise the potential damage that those risks may incur. I now assess everything before I act. Recently, I bought into a website and media company, Redd Media (www.redd.com.au). Why? Well, it was simply that I saw that their work for me 16
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and my website had been the success behind my sales and branding, and the traffic flow through my site had increased exponentially. I calculated that the company was a good risk to take. Do I know anything about websites? No. But I am prepared to take the risk based on what I do know about business and growth. So you see, it really isn’t that much of a risk when properly thought out. Why do I tell you this? Simply to show you that there are opportunities out there that you could take and that could work. But make sure you do your own risk analysis first.
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6
HAVEACRACK!!
For everyone, when the New Year is in full swing, there is always a percentage of us who are wondering where the last few months went. This is why we all need to start focusing on what we all want to achieve each year and, more importantly, make sure we actually try to achieve it. A while ago I was asked my secret to success. It’s simple: HAVE A CRACK! While it may sound easy, you would be amazed at the amount of people that have never reached a level of success purely because they have never tried. They think that there is a right and wrong time for reaching success. Reaching your own level of success is really not that difficult. But first you need to set your sights on the direction you wish to travel. Sitting on your backside complaining that ‘everyone else is just lucky’ is not the answer. 18
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While we all read about successful people every day, the fact is they didn’t wake up one day surrounded by success. They had to work long and hard at it, and make many short-term sacrifices. The problem today with the media highlighting success all the time is that a lot of people think that it is going to be easy. Not once do they consider that maybe, just maybe, there needs to be a bit of effort and planning involved. So what are you going to do about your own journey towards success? Let’s have a look at a few tips that will assist you along your way. 1. Don’t stop to think. Yes I know what you are already thinking—you have to think, otherwise you may make a mistake. I agree with you, but I’m coming at it from a totally different direction. I have met a lot of people over the years that have been planning to do something but never have. In the end they have planned themselves into failure. They are too scared to get up and have a go, to have a crack. You can look and look at an opportunity for days, months and years, but until you act upon it you will never turn that opportunity into a reality. There are a lot of people out there—and you may be one of them—who take way too much time in thinking about all the things that might go wrong. While this is valuable, if taken to its extreme it can stop you from making any decisions at all. So stop thinking and start acting!
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2. Confidence equals competence. There are a lot of people who aren’t confident in what they are doing or what they want to achieve, and this is reflected in their competency on their journey. Just because you are outgoing in personality doesn’t necessarily mean you are confident in what you are doing. Confidence is easily achieved when your decisions are final and you stick to them. That is why when people constantly change their minds or direction all the time, their results are less than satisfactory. They just aren’t sure what they are doing. There is no one more successful than a competent person—someone who is confident in where they are going and someone who has a true understanding of what they want out of life. 3. Cherish the hard times. Always remember what it was like before you reached a level of success. Never forget those hard and rough times, because the minute you do you may end up back there. My wife and I were holidaying on the Gold Coast over the Christmas break at a particular resort. I was over it after about one day as I was surrounded by people who thought and acted like they had ‘made it’. What a sad way to live your life. Just because I have had some success in my life, DOES NOT mean that I am better than anyone else. All it means is that I am a bit further along in my personal journey than I was nine years ago. I’ve never forgotten what it was like to only have $1.25 in the bank. To me, my success is not calculated 20
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Have a crack!!
by the amount of money I have; it is calculated by the journey I have made and the lessons I have learnt about myself. So if you are wondering where you should start, what you should do and how you should do it, then my advice would be to HAVE A CRACK! What is the worst thing that could happen? You might not reach where you aimed. But I guarantee you will be further along than if you hadn’t done anything at all.
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7
WHATYOUSEEISNOT ALWAYSWHATYOUGET I was recently asked if I am a glass ‘half full’ or ‘half empty’ type of person. My reply was short, sharp and to the point: ‘I just see the glass. It is up to me to either fill it or empty it.’ While this may sound simplistic, you would be surprised to see how many people actually let their experiences, good or bad, affect their future direction. Let me explain this point by telling you a story. One day, a Chinese farmer was ploughing the village’s fields. As the village only had one horse, it was his job to ensure that the horse was looked after, as if anything happened to it the village would be left without its hardest worker. That day, as the farmer was tending the field, the horse broke free and disappeared into the mountains. The farmer tried to find it, with no luck. He returned to the village and told everyone what had happened. As he finished telling his story someone said, ‘That’s bad luck!’ As quick as 22
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the comment was given, the farmer replied, ‘Bad luck, good luck, who knows?’ The following day, while the entire village was out tending the fields, the horse returned, but with it came back two smaller horses in tow. Now the village had three horses that would be of great value to them. As the villagers saw this, someone said to the farmer, ‘Now, that’s good luck!’ The farmer replied, ‘Good luck, bad luck, who knows?’ And they all went back to work. The following week, while the farmer was tending the field with his son, one of the new horses reared up in fright and kicked its back legs. The son was standing very close by and received the full impact of the horse’s force, which broke his leg. The villagers came running to see what the fuss was all about and, upon seeing the son of the farmer with his broken leg, one of them said, ‘Now, that’s bad luck.’ Once again, the farmer replied, ‘Bad luck, good luck, who knows?’ About three weeks later, while the village was going about their business, the army arrived to conscript all of the younger men in the village. When they came to the house of the farmer, they spared his son because of his broken leg. When the army had left, the farmer’s neighbour said to him, ‘That was good luck!’ Once again the farmer replied, ‘Good luck, bad luck, who knows?’ So, what am I trying to tell you, you might ask? Simple, really: just because something may not go the way you planned, or something bad might happen 23
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to you, you never know what good can come of it. Life will hand us all some curly situations. If we just give up, throw the towel in and sulk for the rest of our lives, then nothing will ever change. We all need to get up and get back on track. Good things will happen to us as well as bad things. The true measure of someone is how they handle not only the good times but also the bad. If you are in a place in your life right now that is far from pleasant, the way that you look at your situation will be a direct indication as to how long it will take you to get out of it.
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8
CONTENDEROR PRETENDER? With the pressure on people today to reach success, it is no wonder that some people think there may be ways to ‘appear’ successful without doing any of the hard work to actually get there. So why is it that some people see the need to fake it before they make it? Why is success so important that they need to emulate it rather than live it? I personally believe that the perceived notion of what success is to these people will not be the reality when they get there. They will be sadly disappointed. You see, success is not about how much money is in your bank account, what car you drive, how many parties you get invited to or even how you dress. Success is about achieving worthwhile goals that you have set for yourself. That is it. Whatever those goals are, as long as you achieve them, you experience a level of success. I know of someone who thinks that success is all about the letters and the title that go after his name on 25
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his business card. The problem is, though, that his results in that organisation do not match his title, and he thinks that he can get by just relying on his position. What he doesn’t see is that, due to his selfinterests, he is slowly destroying what other people have built up and he’ll eventually lose that title he’s so proud of. I also know of a man who spends most of his weekly wage on buying nice clothes and suits as he believes it will assist him to get where he wants to go in life. He is under the assumption that the way he dresses will impress people enough for them to overlook the reality of his situation. He even dresses up to test-drive cars at car yards, and while he might enjoy himself for a fleeting moment, he’s living in nothing more than a fantasy world. He thinks that ‘dressing for success’ means that he will one day experience it. If only he concentrated more on saving that money he spends on his appearance, he would see that he might one day be able to buy one of those cars instead of simply dreaming about it. Imagine two different competitors turn up to a 100-metre race at the Olympics. One has trained hard, has put their blood, sweat and tears into their preparation, and is ready to contend for the title of the best runner over that distance. The other looks the part but has not prepared whatsoever and just wants the appearance that they are capable of running that race. He laps up the audiences cheers for the competitors but is yet to understand that those cheers will die off 26
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Contender or pretender?
quickly as soon as he is seen for what he really is. No matter how they look, the outcomes will be plain to everyone as soon as that gun goes off. You see, to be honest, it isn’t that important in life that you win the race every time. The most important thing is that you are at least a contender in that race. As long as you give it a right royal crack, do your best and go as hard as you can within yourself—that is all you can do. Pretending that you are ready is not going to get you very far at all. All you will end up doing is frustrating yourself. Make sure you are a contender in your life. Try your best, play hard and handle what comes your way. If you think that faking your way through life will get you by, you are sadly mistaken and wasting valuable time.
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BUTWHAT?!
One of my least favourite words in the English language is the word BUT! You see, when you use the word ‘but’ you are essentially cancelling out everything you have said before it. Let me give you a few examples to show you what I mean: • • • •
‘I’m going to start exercising, but . . .’ ‘I need to address change in my life, but . . .’ ‘I want to try harder with my friendships, but . . .’ ‘I would like to succeed, but . . .’
As you can see, whatever comes after the word ‘but’ becomes the way we think and act, cancelling out what we really want to achieve or accomplish. What we all need to do is kick but. By that, I mean we all have to kick the ‘buts’ out of our lives as they can potentially slow us down and even send us down an unwanted path. You might think that I am being pedantic here. I assure you, though, that our words and thoughts 28
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dictate our direction. Excuses are so powerful. Every single person (myself included) has many excuses as to why things haven’t worked out the way we wished, why we should be in a better position in life than we are, or why we may never achieve all that we want to achieve. Excuses don’t justify our current position. All they do is provide a false sense of justification, which only masks our disappointment instead of allowing us to move forward and past those problems. Sure, there are many people who have the right to blame their circumstances or their past for why things may have gone south. However, if you really think about it, blame doesn’t solve anything. We can’t fix anything that has already happened. We can only look forward, and if we learn from our past our future will go a lot more smoothly. There would be a lot of people reading this, saying to themselves that I don’t understand what they have gone through. You are 100 per cent correct. I don’t understand what you have gone through, and you don’t know what I have gone through either. It’s beside the point. What we all need to do is move onwards and upwards. Things happen in our lives that have the potential to shape us or, if we allow it, to break us. You need to choose which outcome you want. Just have a look at one of America’s greatest presidents, Abraham Lincoln. He was born in the backwoods of Kentucky and worked as a postmaster, surveyor and even a rail-splitter before becoming a lawyer. His formal education added up to about a 29
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year in total. Now, from the outside, one would say that he didn’t have a lot going for him; however, he never let that worry him. He never used the word ‘but’ to justify his position. Let’s have a quick look at some of the setbacks he came up against on his journey: he failed in business in 1831; he was defeated in state legislature in 1832; he failed again in business in 1833; he was elected for state legislature in 1834; he had a nervous breakdown in 1836; he was defeated for House Speaker in 1838; he was defeated for nomination for Congress in 1843; he was elected to Congress in 1846; he lost renomination for Congress in 1848; he failed to be appointed as commissioner of the General Lands Office in 1849; he was defeated for the United States Senate in 1854; he was defeated for nomination for Vice-President in 1856; and he was defeated again for the Senate in 1858. After all this, in 1860 he was elected as the sixteenth, and probably the most recognised, president in American history. Abraham Lincoln never let his excuses rule his outcomes or his direction. I think you would agree that he had a few opportunities to throw the towel in, although he chose to press on. He once said: ‘To remain as I am is impossible; I must either die or be better.’ So, next time you are about to ‘but’ your way out of something, just remember that by pushing on and pressing forward, the outcome may make history.
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VICTIMORVICTOR?
There are two types of people when it comes to things that don’t work out the way they had planned. Those that bounce back, and those who blame others and play the victim card. Having a mentality that makes you out to be a victim is not the way to go. All you do then is admit defeat in life by acting upon a negative platform. It is all about what you think you need to hear instead of what is needed to be said. You are basically admitting that you are giving up and you will blame everyone for everything bad that you have or will go through for the rest of your life. You believe that you are right and justified in your thinking and actions no matter what anyone else says. This is what I call the handout mentality. The handout mentality basically says that everybody owes you. You may have put in the hard work over the years; you may have tried to get ahead. You may have even tasted some success and then lost it all. So, that being the case, the world now owes you. 31
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No matter where you have been in life, what you have been through or even what unfortunate thing may have happened to you, if you want to reach those goals and dreams that you have set for yourself, then you are the one that needs to get you there. By thinking you are ‘owed’, you will only force yourself backwards, as you aren’t owed anything in life. And if you go about life thinking that you are, what you then create for yourself is an environment that says, it’s okay to fall short of my goals, because someone else will pick me up and take me to them. You are under the illusion that everything will work out for you because you are owed success. I have had the opportunity a number of times to speak to groups of long-term unemployed people. The majority of these people want to change their circumstances. They are sick and tired of being in the situation they are in. However, there is a minority that believe that they are owed everything. They believe that it is their right to be looked after by the government indefinitely. These people get caught up in the thinking that it is everybody else’s responsibility to get them out of their situation. So they just sit back and create an environment that they get mentally stuck in. What a joke. Nobody owes you anything. The minute that you start thinking like this you just set yourself up to fall short of your goals and dreams every time. The only person that owes you anything is the person reading this book right now. YOU! People who are stuck in this mentality need to change from being victims to victors over their own 32
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situations. Ultimately, your situations will only change when you do. The victim mentality is a destructive one. The problem with thinking like that is that you start to believe that you are at a disadvantage. The only way to change your situation tomorrow is through the changes you implement within your thinking and your actions today. It really comes down to how much you want your situation to change. We all need to stop focusing on ‘why’ we are where we are in our lives to ‘what’ we are going to do about it to make it better. Ultimately it doesn’t matter why you are where you are in your life now. Nothing can be changed by blaming someone else. Just get back up, dust yourself off and start again.
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STICKABILITY
Now you won’t find the word ‘stickability’ in a dictionary as I have made it up. It is what I believe to be one of the biggest factors that most people overlook when trying to reach their own goals and dreams. Sticking to what we started all of those years ago is really the key to completing the desired outcome. I know that you may read this and at some point you say to yourself, I know that! Well, why then are there so many people today who are now realising that they need to get back on track? I don’t for a minute claim to be teaching you anything new. As they say, you can’t reinvent the wheel, but what I am endeavouring to do is to make the wheel roll a bit better by explaining things in the way that I view them or in a way that will make a bit more practical sense. What goals or dreams did you have that you have just let go? What is it that, if only you had stuck it out through the tough times, you would have been able to achieve? Too many times we are all guilty of changing 34
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our minds and even our direction to take a different and less challenging path, and failing to stick to our original plan and goal. That is fine if you just want to get by in life, but if you are like me you will want to fulfil those dreams that you have had for a long time and open yourself up to a new part of your life. It is easy to stick to your direction and path when things are going well. When everything seems to be going in a direction you are happy with, you are on cloud nine. You know, the times when no matter what you do it all seems to turn to gold. You can’t seem to do anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with that; in fact, that is what we all need to get to. Those are the times when we all think we are bulletproof. Then reality hits. Something goes a bit left of centre. We hit panic stations and start to overreact, causing us to get way off the path in which we were heading. Then it seems like the best course of action is to just give up. You see, it is through the hard times, through the periods when things just aren’t working for us, that we learn more about ourselves than we do through the good times. It is our ‘stickability’ in those hard times that will get us through to our goals. If only we can see past the problems that are staring us in the face and push through those barriers we seem to think are stopping us from reaching those goals and dreams that we have set for ourselves. Then we will open ourselves up to new and exciting challenges that will takes us to where we want to go, and potentially even further. 35
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I believe that it is the tough times—the times when things need a lot of work and effort—that shape us for life. If you give up too early and don’t stick things out, you will instil a defeatist mentality—one that will shape your future actions and reactions in a negative way.
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12
GETTINGOUTOFA FINANCIALMESS Each week I receive many emails and letters either thanking me for the previous week’s newsletter or expressing a desire for me to cover various topics. One of the main topics people want me to cover at the moment is how to get out of a financial mess. So here I have a list of just three areas (there are more, I might add) that will assist anyone who is stuck in financial trouble. 1. Recognise and name the problem for what it is. What you need to do first, if you are having problems with your finances, is really admit that there is a problem. You need to face the problems head on; you need to confront it before you can correct it. Too many people just have the ‘sweep it under the carpet’ mentality in this area. The problem with that is that after a while there is no more room left under the carpet. Then it starts spilling out of the sides. Your issues will be ten times worse by this stage because, 37
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in addition to the immediate problem, you are also faced with the past issues and problems that have never been addressed. The day you recognise that you have ongoing issues with finances and you address the areas that you have neglected, is the day that you are able to start making inroads into securing a better environment in which to operate within. 2. Identify the reasons why you are in a crisis. One of the main reasons people get stuck on a financial roundabout is that they never stop to address the real reasons as to why they ended up there in the first place. Sure they do a lot of surface work, but they never delve deeper to find the core root of the problem. I can guarantee that there will be more than one issue that you have never addressed. There will probably be a series of issues that have melded together to create your current mind-set, or several issues that have all been brushed aside until they explode all at once in your face. Most people never address the ‘how’; they only ever look at the ‘when’. By that, I mean most people never address how they got into a financial mess. All they seem to be looking for is when are they going to get out of their mess. 3. See your problem as a project. There are a lot of people who are constantly getting themselves into the same problems time after time after time. The problem is that they only ever see their problems as one-off, 38
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individual occurrences instead of ongoing issues that have been there for a long time. The longer you let a problem go, the longer it will take to get out of that way of operating. Too many people never address their problems with finances because they see it as being all too hard. They think there is no way out of it so why bother even addressing it? That is really sad. You need to see that once you have established that you have an area that needs attention, you have an opportunity to fix it, and who knows, it may even send you down an exciting and rewarding path and you might just enjoy it. Sure, it will be a challenge, but how much more of a challenge can it be compared to your current situation? Seriously, though, weigh it up. You can either stay in financial trouble and end up somewhere you never wanted to be, or work hard at getting yourself out of there and potentially enjoy things you never thought possible by pushing yourself outside of your usual boundaries. I know which one I chose, and I have to say it has been totally worth the challenge. Don’t think you are too far gone—it is not the end. The question really is, how much do you want it?
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HANDLING DISAPPOINTMENT There comes a time in everyone’s life when they will cross the bridge of disappointment. We are all aiming for those things that we think will make us happy. They’re called dreams because we really don’t know if we will be happy when we reach them as we haven’t experienced them before. We just hope that they will give us some type of fulfilment. What happens if, when you reach that goal that you have set for yourself, you find yourself bitterly disappointed with the reality? Not many people actually think about this. A lot of people prefer to think that if only they reach that goal or dream they have in place, their lives will be so much better. Now, in reality the odds are that you will appreciate and relish all that you have achieved when you get there and you will in fact enjoy the spoils of your efforts, but there still is a small chance your goal may fall short of your expectations. Let me give you a personal example just to show you what I mean. 40
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If you have heard me speak live or have read any of my books you will know that I am a car freak. I just love cars. So much so, that they are part of my goal structure. Recently there was a particular car that took my breath away every time I saw one on the street. It was a bit of a stretch, but I decided to aim at getting that car, so I focused all of my attention on working towards ensuring that that car would be mine. Then, when I went out and bought it, it turned out to be a whole lot less rewarding than I had expected. I have had nothing but dramas with that car. Everything seems to go wrong, so much so that I can barely stand being in it now. You see, this was (well, what I thought was) my ultimate dream. I thought that if I just achieved that goal I would be on top of the world—I never anticipated anything going wrong. Now I could just dwell on the negatives or I could move on and put it down to a learning experience. I realise that this may be totally different to what your goals or dreams may be, but the principle is the same. No one can see into the future to find out if we will be happy with what we desire. We will only know when we get there. If you do get there only to find that things aren’t as you expected, then you have two choices: 1. Sit and focus on the disappointment. 2. Move on and learn from your disappointment. There is a guarantee that you will come across disappointment at various times throughout your life. 41
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The true measure of a successful person is one who handles that disappointment with grace and dignity. The last thing you want or need is constant focus on something that has upset you. Was I upset about my car? You bet. But after I vented my frustration I needed to move on, as otherwise all of my attention would have been focused on something that only brings more frustration. Have I learnt a lesson? Sure have. Will I remember it? Sure will, as you need to when you face disappointment. Without sounding too negative, it’s a fact that you will experience disappointments throughout your life. How you handle them will be a measure of your success AFTER that disappointment.
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14
LIFESCAN
A while back I was invited to receive a Dual Energy X-Ray Absorptiomerty (DEXA) scan. Now, I know that you are probably wondering what that is, so let me explain. This particular company had a way to scan your entire body to give you a precise indication of your fat mass, fat-free mass and your bone weight. This then aids in determining exactly what is needed to assist you in your fight against the dreaded bulge. As I was lying on the bed being scanned I started to think about what it is we all have ‘inside’ our lives that we don’t see but which stops us from moving ahead. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all get into a life scan machine to find the areas we need to work on? It is a lot easier than you think. Just like going on a diet, we all need to first remove the stuff that we know is having a negative affect on us. Then, and only then, are we able to move on to the stuff that is rooted deep within us. Sometimes it can be exterior influences that impede our progress as well. 43
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I wrote about the following principle in my first book, Would you like Attitude with that?, and I think this will help a lot of you with where you are at right now. Every year I become embroiled in a ritual that seems to haunt every marriage—the dreaded springclean. (Most males will understand the pain and torture I am referring to.) It always amazes me that, while we are supposed to be cleaning up everything, it seems that it is only ever my stuff that ends up being thrown away. (But that’s another story!!) By throwing out all of the stuff that is broken or no longer needed, we are essentially either making room for more stuff further down the track or creating clean space. This is what we all need to do in our personal lives as well. We need to spring-clean our lives regularly. I have had a lot of positive input and feedback over the years, but I have also had a lot of people impart negative feelings, ideas and comments about what I am doing and who I am. You may also have people around you who do this as well. After a while I knew that I had to have positive people around me to push me to the next level in my life. After doing a ‘life scan’ I could easily see the stuff that was holding me back and slowing me down. I had to remove that negative and toxic stuff, otherwise I would be constantly held back. I need good stuff around me. Just like when you are trying to lose weight, you need to eat the right foods and stay away from those foods that only add 44
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Lifescan
to the problem. So about twice a year now I think about all of the people around me and whether they are pushing me and also allowing me to push them. If there isn’t any of that happening, then I slowly move away from them—but not in an ‘I’m better than you’ manner, as that is the wrong attitude. Take some time out today to assess what influences you have in your life. Are they positive or are they negative? The answer may show you the reason as to why you are constantly struggling to get ahead. Perform your own scan on your life. You may be surprised to see what shows up.
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15
YOUSETYOUR STANDARDS We all go through life living and operating by a set of standards that we have either set for ourselves or that we became accustomed to as we were growing up. These standards determine the way we operate, think and even react. A problem we all face is that, if those standards are never looked at or adjusted, we will constantly battle with the same issues and problems over and over again. But what do I mean by standards? My definition is in terms of a grade or level of excellence and achievement; of setting goals and living by them. We all find at some time in our lives that we are frustrated when we can’t seem to get ahead. When this happens, the one thing we often overlook is where we have set the bar on what we expect to achieve. My close friends (and anyone who comes into contact with me) know that I am black and white when it comes to my outlook on life and how I deal with problems. I really don’t have a great deal of 46
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You set your standards
sympathy for those who whine and whinge about where they are in life. I am the only person responsible for where I am today and where I will be tomorrow, and you are the only person who is in charge of your own personal journey. Sure, there are issues and circumstances that affect where we are today, but it is up to you to handle those issues, as you are the driver of your life. When the 2000 Olympic Games were held in Sydney, I found myself riveted to the television as the high jump was starting. The qualifying height was 2.28 metres. That was the standard set for everyone who had made it to the Olympics. So, if you or I wanted to ‘go for gold’ in this event, we would have to qualify months before by reaching a certain standard just to enter the competition—and then clear 2.28 metres for our first jump. Why do I tell you this story? Well, all of us go through life with an understanding of certain set standards. It is how well we meet those basic standards that dictates how well we will do in our personal lives. Now, back to the high jump. What would happen if the first competitor who lined up to make their attempt stopped just before the bar, complained that the height was ‘unfair’ and wanted it to be lowered? They would fail. Some people go through life trying to set lower standards for themselves because they think that they deserve concessions. In reality, the only way to excel in life is by continually pushing ourselves to be better. 47
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As I was growing up my father would always come up with these one-liners. Until later in life I really had no idea what he was talking about, but one of his favourites was: ‘If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every single day.’ This, unfortunately, is how some people go through life. They just ‘exist’. What a waste. I am not sure about you, but I want to make an impact on everything I set my sights to. Back to the high jumpers for another minute. When the competitor clears the first height, they are eligible to attempt a second, greater height. As we achieve things in life and we get better at them, we are then able to attempt new challenges. So when we meet our current standards we are able to raise the bar and set new ones for ourselves, so we are continually achieving greater levels of success. It is the standards that you set in life that will either take you closer or further away from all that you desire. As soon as you lower your standards, you lower the expected outcomes. Aim high and fulfil all that you desire.
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16
SELECTIVEHEARING
If, like me, you have children, you will understand when I say that some people have selective hearing. They only hear what they want to hear, which can be annoying to the person talking to them, but it can also be a good thing as well. There are a lot of times when we should close off our hearing from the noise around us. Some of that noise ends up coming from people who we really shouldn’t listen to. My question to you today is, who are you listening to, and why? Now don’t get yourself in a bother before you find out exactly where I am coming from. Too many times we are guilty of taking on the advice or opinions of those around us. Now, they may have the best of intentions, but you really need to guard yourself against listening to the wrong people and advice. Some people don’t even wait until they are invited to give their opinion. They just blurt it out, thinking that the world is waiting with bated breath for their words of wisdom. 49
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Everyone around you will have an opinion as to what you should be doing better, how you should be doing it, who you should hang out with or even who you should date. The problem with all of that is that, while these people may have the best of intentions, they are not living your life. YOU ARE. The minute you hand control over to someone else is the minute you lose control over your outcomes. We all need to be very selective about who we allow to speak into our lives and direction. You need to give permission to those who you want to assist you or speak. And you need to make sure that they have experienced success in the areas you need help in and that they are speaking from their experience. I suppose the best example to give here would be a businessperson seeking advice from a business mentor who had never run their own business. While it may seem strange and silly for that to happen, you would be surprised to see how many people are doing that on a daily basis. You need to have your own ‘panel of experts’ around you. You need to gather people around you who you respect and admire, so that when you are faced with a problem or a challenge you know that you have the right people to assist you to overcome it. Lastly, I would like to touch on the ‘serial asker’. What is a serial asker, I hear you ask? Serial askers are people who go from person to person, asking for advice or help. The problem is that they will keep asking various people until they get the answer they want. If this has happened to you, then you will 50
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appreciate why I find it frustrating. I can’t stand it when someone asks for my advice and then dismisses it purely because it doesn’t fit with what they want to do or what they want to hear. After a while, if that same person keeps asking and ignoring my advice, I just quietly slip away from them as it is obvious that there is no need for my help in their life. Make sure you don’t waste your breath on people who really don’t want your advice. Now, not everything you say will be acted on, but ensure that those around you are genuinely interested in your advice and that you’re not just paying lip service to their insecurities. If you are at a point in your journey where you would like, or you need, some help, direction or advice, select who you get it from wisely, and even if you don’t like the answer be prepared to take it on board.
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17
YOUHAVETOSEETHE BIGGER PICTURE There are many times when we go through life only looking at what is in front of our faces instead of the bigger picture. Unfortunately this is a one-dimensional way to live and operate. If only you see that there is a bigger picture to your life, you will then start operating in a way that will ensure the bigger picture is involved in those decisions you make on a day-to-day basis. Recently I had to separate myself from an organisation for this reason. They do great work, but the problem is they are only looking at short-term solutions and operating in a way that is all about self-preservation for the immediate future, instead of seeing that their purpose is bigger than their current outlook. They seem too concerned with feedback that hasn’t even come their way instead of doing what they are good at. I became more frustrated as I watched what was happening. I tried to talk to them about the bigger picture, but they weren’t interested. 52
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You have to see the bigger picture
So eventually I had to make the decision to step back from it all. To concentrate on the bigger picture for your life requires deliberate and concise focus and action. Allowing yourself to be swayed by the opinion and direction of others will not keep you on track. It will only make you feel like a flag flying in the breeze— tossed in every direction. How many times have we all taken the advice of others, only to be pulled further away from what we want to achieve? Now, if you don’t feel that there is a bigger picture for your life, I am here to say that you are incorrect. We all have greater things to achieve in our lifetime, but if we only worry about the immediate result we will never see the opportunities that will take us closer to what could be in store for us in the future. Now, I have to say that focusing on the bigger picture in your life—your business or your personal situations—requires a great amount of self-control. It is easier to be distracted and swayed. But this is where you need to understand the principle of the decisionmaking process. We all have to make decisions in the course of our life. Whether at work or at home, we make decisions every day that affect our future. It could be a small decision that determines what food we put into our mouth, or it could be a decision that will affect where we work and how much money we may make that week. Making decisions is the one thing we all have in common. So how do you decide on which decisions you should make? I believe there are three questions you need to 53
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ask yourself before you settle on the answer to any decision: 1. What is the worst-case scenario if I make this decision, and can I live with it if it turns out that way? 2. Am I only looking at a short-term solution or have I taken into account the long-term ramifications and the bigger picture? 3. Who will be affected by this decision? If you don’t ask yourself these questions, you are really leaving yourself open to whatever comes your way. Recently I was asked to spend some time overseas with a few people caught in a legal situation that I suppose they never thought they would be in. I have to say, it was hard as there was only so much I could do to help these people. The thing that struck me was that none of these people ever looked at the bigger picture. They never once asked themselves the three questions above. As a result, their lives are now in a huge mess. Make sure you understand that your future is bigger than the situation that you face today, and that with every decision comes an outcome. Good or bad.
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PAINISGAIN
Recently I decided to go back to the gym. Before I was married I used to train every day, but when I got the girl I didn’t need the body any more (just joking). Now that I’m getting on in age I thought that it was about time I tried to get that body back. So the day came when I started again. I pushed, grunted and groaned. By the time I was finished I was actually feeling quite good. I was well and truly on my way to getting the body of Adonis. Then came the next morning . . . man, was I sore! My body was aching all over. But I was not going to let that stop me. I realised that the pain that I was feeling was a direct result of me pushing past my old limits. It’s the same when you’re going through life and aiming for a greater level of success. I guarantee that you will experience some pain. And if you don’t, then are you really pushing yourself beyond your past attempts? You don’t seriously think that you can go through all of that without feeling some type of mental or personal discomfort, do you? 55
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Everyone at some point in time will experience the pain that is associated with personal growth and success. So be prepared for discomfort as too many people think that everything is going to go smoothly and get a rude awakening when they hit a hurdle. You are going to have to stretch yourself, do things that you have never attempted before, and maybe even separate yourself from friends with negative attitudes just to get to where you want to go. The good news is that the pain will go away (sometimes very quickly) and you will end up a better and stronger person for it. As young children many of us experienced growing pains. It is the same with growing into your goals. The reason you don’t have those goals now is because you have yet to go through things that will bring you closer to them. If I want my muscles to grow, then they are going to be stretched and pushed beyond their normal limits. The same goes for you and your journey. You need to push yourself way past what you have experienced and attempted previously. When you do, you will find it a bit uncomfortable. But don’t give up; this is all part of the growing process. The problem is that many people give up when they start to get uncomfortable in their personal growth. Make sure you don’t avoid the pain by limiting your growth. All that will happen then is that you will remain in the same position or area of your life for the rest of your life. A little pain goes a long way. Don’t give up because you don’t want to face those changes. Face them head on and watch yourself grow, and remember that pain is gain! 56
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BEVULNERABLE
Yes, I know you might be questioning why on earth you would become vulnerable to others in this day and age of people taking advantage of other people’s situations. Allow me to explain what I mean. As we go along, living our busy lives, we tend to clam up about issues we are experiencing. We decide that it is best if we don’t ‘burden’ others with our problems and issues, and in the end they build to an explosive level. Recently a very good mate of mine experienced this with someone close to him. Because his friend did not share their hurts, disappointments and past issues and pain, their life came crashing down in one big heap. Now, this happens all the time to many people—you may even know someone yourself who has experienced this type of situation. As I was finding this out from my mate, I was astounded that they both decided to keep things to themselves, as they didn’t want to ‘bother’ anyone with the issues they were facing. 57
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That is what has led me to write about vulnerability. We all need to become a bit more vulnerable in our lives to those around us who we trust. We need to be a bit more transparent. That way when tough times come (and they will) we have a support structure already in place. It is a lot easier going through hard times with friends than going through them alone. I also believe that we all need to be accountable to each other. It is amazing that when you work for someone else you are automatically accountable to that person—they pay your wage, they give you a job, and it is up to you to be accountable for that pay and that job. But what happens when it comes to your personal life? Who are you accountable to? Are you accountable to anyone at all? I know what you might be thinking—I am my own person; I am looking after my best interests, so why do I need to make myself accountable to anyone? Simple, really. We are all human so we will all make the wrong decisions at some point in our lives, so why not have people around us that can assist with some of the big decisions we need to make along the way? Being accountable to someone is a great way to stay focused and on track. I still, to this day, spend time talking to the group of people who I make my self accountable to. There are so many ways you can go in your life’s journey. There are opportunities everywhere for your personal and professional life. This is why having someone around who you are accountable to is a 58
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good and smart thing. Some of you may only need them around for a short time, while others may come to rely on their assistance and so have them around longer. You may also find that some of your friends or associates may have contacts within certain areas that would be quite beneficial to your personal growth. By asking questions and letting people know what you are after, you may be surprised at the deals you can make by association. If someone ever says to you, ‘Well, if you ever need a favour . . .’ or ‘If you ever need someone to talk too . . .’, make sure you remember them and, when you do need them, give them a call. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t think that by asking for advice it will mean that you have failed. A wise person will ask instead of leaping ahead without assessing all the possibilities. I’ll say it again, being vulnerable and accountable is the best way to succeed in life. But choose the ears you speak to carefully.
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20
HOWDETERMINED AREYOU? Reaching a greater level of financial prosperity in your life will require a great deal of work—and sometimes long and hard work at that. I realise you may already know this, but it has to be repeated nonetheless. Don’t assume for a minute that it is going to be easy. It can be easier, however, if you understand the principles and methods behind the process. Once again, it has to be said that a lot of people don’t realise there are better ways to achieve what they want to achieve. Once you realise this, your path may just seem that bit clearer. There are no secrets to prosperity. There are no short cuts and there is no way of skipping things just so you can get there quicker. But don’t get too disheartened. While there may be no short cuts, when you reach your desired level of prosperity you will enjoy it for a more sustained period of time, as the process and the time you took to get there will have formed a solid foundation for you to build upon. 60
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I now want to let you in on the secret to reaching a level of financial prosperity. This is something that many people have spent many years working out, but I am going to let you in on it right now. Are you ready? I mean, are you really ready to know? Okay, here it comes . . . The secret to reaching financial prosperity is . . . Work! Hello, are you still there? Not what you were expecting, hey? This is the reason many people never reach either wealth or prosperity. A lot of people sit back and look at financially successful people and they just assume that the process was an easy one for them. Reaching a greater level of wealth or prosperity is not just for the lucky ones, nor is it a pay-off for some exclusive club. It is there for all of us to grab hold of and to own. All we need to do is realise that we really have to work at it, and work really hard. Not everything you try is going to work. Not every investment is going to have a big payout. So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to give up, spit the dummy and take your bat and ball and go home? Or are you going to get an attitude of determination that no matter what pushes you back— whether it is your fault or someone else’s—you are going to get back up and keep going? It all comes down to being resilient. How bad do you want to get to where you want to go? We currently live in a society that seems to think that whoever gets to a level of success first is the winner. While I admire the younger generation 61
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wanting to be financially secure at an early age, I don’t feel that we should place a higher level of accomplishment on those who actually achieve at an early age compared to those who get there later in life . . . Whether you are twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or even sixty years old, when you reach financial prosperity you should feel as though you have achieved and succeeded. It all comes down to the foundation that you operate on. Just have a look at some of the dodgy people who instigate get-rich-quick schemes. Their foundation is a shaky and small one. It is only as big as their character. The foundation of who you are as a person is all you have to build your prosperity upon. The bigger your foundation, the bigger the house you can build upon it. Imagine wanting to build a big 100-square-metre house. You have planned how the rooms will be set out, you’ve picked out the colour scheme and you may have even chosen the tiles for the bathroom. Then comes the day for the foundation of the house to be laid and then paid for. You then, and only then, work out that you don’t have enough money to pay the concreter. So you decide to take a short cut. You decide that you will just pay him the money you have left over, which is enough for a foundation for a 60-square-metre home. He pours the concrete and he leaves. As your original plan was for a 100-square-metre home, you decide to press ahead and build it regardless. Do you think the house is going to survive on a smaller foundation than that for which it was intended? I think not. 62
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This is how a lot of people go about their lives, especially when it comes to reaching a greater financial position. They decide on what it is they want and what it is they will achieve. Only after they are well and truly on their way do they realise that they have not set themselves a proper foundation on which to build their dreams. Then they potentially start blaming others for why they failed instead of looking at the fact that they never really prepared themselves adequately for the building of their dreams and goals in the first place. So what is your ambition? Is it making money and becoming wealthy? Is it self-focus or self-importance through a dollar figure? Is it reaching a level of financial prosperity so you can assist others? Is it living a life that makes a difference? Is it being the best you can be? Only you can answer those questions. I am not going to say what I think you should do as it has to be your decision. What I will suggest, however, is that you make sure that the foundation you build today will be able to support your accomplishments, direction and dreams for the future, and not just your immediate desires. Don’t sell yourself short here either. Don’t only aim for short-term, easily attainable goals that may deceive you that you have actually reached success. Aim further than you can even imagine.
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BEACONTROLFREAK
Too many people are comfortable with being a passenger on their own journey towards reaching all that they desire. They would rather have the hard work and effort completed by someone else on their behalf. They’ve got the whole process sorted out (or so they think). But what we all need to do is have a sense of ownership with our direction, our dreams and our goals. Let me give you an analogy. Many of you reading this may have, at some point in time, hired a car, whether as a result of going away on holiday, for work, or because your own car was out of action for a while. For some of you, the hire car may have been a lot nicer and newer than the one that you owned at the time. As you picked up the vehicle from the car rental company and sat in the driver’s seat, you may have experienced a sense of excitement or thrill. This will be a new experience. You can’t wait to get going on your journey. 64
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Along the way, you might put your foot down a little harder than you normally would if you were in your own car, just so you can feel the power; you may turn up the volume of the new stereo a bit louder than you normally would, without fear of the speakers blowing up; you might even turn the airconditioning on as this is something you don’t have in your own car. You are in motor vehicle heaven, albeit just for a few hours or a few days. You are totally engrossed in this experience. Then suddenly the party is over; it is time to take the car back and return to your own vehicle. You sit in your own car and the feelings you experience just aren’t the same. You see, while the experience was great and you thoroughly enjoyed yourself, the reality is the car was never yours to keep; it was only yours to enjoy for a small period of time. You don’t own that car, so no matter how enjoyable the experience, the unfortunate fact is that it was just that: an experience. If you would like the experience to last longer, it comes at a higher price. This is unfortunately how some people approach their dreams and goals. Many people have ‘rental’ experiences with their goals. They have the mentality that they will inevitably have to go back to their old way of living, their old way of thinking. They experience some level of achievement that is better than their normal outcomes, which is fantastic, but they don’t build upon that. While they enjoy the time they are having, they don’t pursue the experience further, and 65
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by not working on the longevity of those goals the feeling eventually becomes one of frustration and constant work, and the goal is given up on. They enjoy the moment instead of working further towards making that short-lived experience a lifestyle choice that can be built on even further. After a while they slip back into the old way they were living because it is more comfortable than pushing on. Then all they do is put down those who have achieved their goals and dreams to try and justify their own failings. What we all need to do is create an atmosphere and environment that takes the ‘rental’ mentality out of our heads and replace it with permanent ownership. What are you actually in control of? For some, the only area they are in total control of is their lack of direction. Are your dreams, goals and directions under your control? Or are you just hanging on, trying desperately not to let go of something that is way out of control?
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RESPOND— DON’TREACT! Have you ever had something bad happen to you when you least expected it? How did you handle that situation? Did you react or did you respond? These are questions that you need to have the answers to BEFORE you next come across a bad situation. A lot of people react to their situations rather than respond. Like if someone suddenly loses their job, they get into a panic, fret about their future, and sell all of their possessions to ensure they have enough money for their short-term future, without even thinking about the effects of those actions. Instead, they should respond in a calm, considered and concise manner. That way their actions and thoughts will be strategic and directed to ensure they will rise above the immediate situation. Let’s look at the effects of both reacting and responding. When you react, you are working and operating in the moment. There is no forethought to the future; just the present. Now, while the present 67
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situation may seem hopeless right there and then, your next move will dictate your future results. A wrong or thoughtless decision may keep you in that state of despair longer than you would like. Reacting is an emotional process. We all get caught up in the emotional minute at times, but living your life like that will only ensure constant work and defensive actions. Reacting to a situation will only provide a short-term solution. The disadvantage with that is that you will need to go back and continue to handle not only the situation that put you there in the first place but also the subsequent problems that path has lead you to. Your life will be full of constant effort and work, and you will feel like you are going from drama to drama. In the end you’ll feel like you’re on a roundabout with no idea how to get off. However, if you respond to life’s dramas rather than react, you then have more chance to control your future outcomes. You see, responding means you have thought about your current situation and you have planned a way to move forward. Your focus is not on a short-term fix or solution but on a longterm one. Responding to situations takes patience and a calm approach. We all need to plan our direction. That is something that most everybody knows. But you also need to plan your response to dramas or dilemmas that you may encounter throughout life. Now, don’t freak out over the planning process. It could be as simple as ensuring that you step back from the situation, stop, evaluate your options and then move forward with 68
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an understanding of the desired outcome. Too many people don’t give themselves time to evaluate the situation. They just panic and react without really understanding or considering the possibility that it might not be as bad as they first imagined. Recently I was speaking to someone who had lost their job that day. They informed me that they were going to a local car yard to get ‘whatever they could’ for their car so they would have a financial buffer. I asked if they were looking for a new job. They replied that they were going to look the following week. I then asked how they were planning to get to the interviews. What surprised me then was the look on their face—they hadn’t even thought about that. They had just reacted to the situation instead of responding to it in a calm and calculated manor. The reality was that they had potentially placed their future at risk by reacting to the immediate problem instead of looking and planning beyond it. If you are like that person who freaks out over the immediate issues, it is easier to change the way you approach things to someone who responds, instead of trying to pick up the pieces when you make the wrong choice later on.
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23
YOUHAVETOCHANGE
Change! This is a word that many of us try to avoid. Some may even see it as a swear word. We don’t want to hear it mentioned, we don’t want to apply it, we just don’t want anything to do with that word and what it represents. Maybe change is something you have tried in the past with little or no results, so you think it is better to just go about your life the same way. That way you will avoid any dramas by not addressing them. WRONG! By addressing change we will overcome a lot of the recurring issues and hurdles that we have faced throughout our lives. Not only in business and work, but also, and more importantly, in our personal lives. So why is it that so many of us prefer to stay the same through our journey, hanging onto those issues that in reality are stopping us from moving forward? Too many people try to go through life doing the same old things the same old ways. While this may feel comfortable and it may even feel ‘right’, it will 70
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not bring you closer to your goals and dreams. Too many people don’t want to confront the issues and areas that are blocking their path. They would rather leave them alone, not wanting to disturb them in the vain hope that they might just go away and disappear all by themselves. Well, this will not happen, and the longer you leave issues that need to be addressed, the longer it will take you to overcome them and move on and forward to all that you want out of life. It is the same principle with mould. If you leave it on your shower wall for a long time, the effort required to remove it will be greater than if you cleaned your shower every week. So constantly take a magnifying glass to your life. Find those things that are stopping or slowing down your progress before it becomes too late. Don’t expect a different you the next day, though. This is a big mistake a lot of people make. Then, due to the frustration of no immediate results, they go back to the same old them. For some of you, it has taken you many years to be who you are today. The way you view your life, the way you handle the issues in your life and even the way you react has been formed over many years. So, that being the case, you can’t then expect everything to just change overnight because you want it to. You need to work, and I mean really hard, on those issues until you force your thinking and your actions to approach everything you do in a totally different way. 71
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Remember, you only get a diamond out of a lump of coal after a huge amount of long-term pressure. You will need to endure that pressure to get the diamond out of your own life. If you give up too early, then you have to settle for the results. Too many people wait for the big cracks to appear before addressing any of the underlying issues. While the small cracks can sometimes be harder to spot than the big ones, there may be lots of them in our lives, with the potential to expand into big cracks all at the same time if we are not careful. I have had a huge number of broken bones throughout my life—most of them a direct result of me being young and stupid. I have also had a few hairline fractures as well. Most of the hairline fractures could not be found easily as they were tiny, and so weren’t treated by resetting the bone and putting a cast on, as was the case with my major breaks. There was a lot of pain, but if I had not gone and had an X-ray the bones in question may have gone untreated, and eventually the problem that started off as just a little crack would develop into a major break, potentially leaving me with huge pain and larger problems down the track. This is somewhat how some of us approach our lives. The problems that really stand out and are obvious to both ourselves and those around us, we address. But it is the little things that, if left unchecked and unchallenged, will go from small issues, or hairline fractures, to major problems that cause us to slow down and maybe even alter our direction. It may then take a long time to get back on track. What a waste 72
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of time, and all because we were unwilling to look a little more closely at ourselves with an open mind about change. So don’t dismiss the opportunity to change your life as a small change may make a huge impact.
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24
NOSTRINGSATTACHED
In this chapter I want to touch on the area of friendship. We all need to have good friends around us, not only in the good times when everything is rosy, but also through the tough and difficult times. You see, friendship, real friendship, has no boundaries. It doesn’t know the difference between good times and bad times. It is always there. In fact, the times when you notice your good friends the most are when things are tough. (It always amazes me, though, the number of ‘friends’ who seem to disappear when things are tough for some people.) Today is the best day to really show your friendship to those around you. Even if there is a bit of time or distance between you and your friends, why not pick up the phone and catch up on old times? If you have had a strained friendship over recent times, today is the perfect day to bury the hatchet and start afresh. The other area I would love to touch on as well is stipulations to friendships. What am I talking about, 74
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you ask? Recently I have noticed a little trend among a few people that I sort of know. I have watched these people from a distance, and I have noticed that there seems to be a lot of strings attached to their friendships. They seem to dictate what people around them need to do to ‘win’ their friendship—and look out if you upset them, as you’ll never live it down. Now, I am glad that I’m not caught up in all of that, and it really makes me cherish the good friendships that I have. Like a relationship or a marriage, friendships really have to be worked at. Each of us has a different personality that we bring to the party, and while that may prove difficult at times it is ultimately those differences that make friendships unique. Never attach strings to your friendships. Don’t have unwritten rules and regulations as to what your friends need to do to have you as a friend. You see, friendships are a two-way street. It isn’t all one way. We all need to put in 100 per cent effort. Now, there may be some of you reading this, saying to yourself, well, how come I seem to have to put in all the effort all the time? If that’s the case, maybe that friendship is a one-sided one, and maybe, just maybe, you might be better off without it? Friendships aren’t about what you get in return, they are about what you give. THAT IS IT! To have real friends you need to be a real friend. The minute you start comparing how much effort you put into a friendship is the minute you might as well just move away from that friendship. 75
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The other point I just have to make is that when things happen which you are not happy about (and I’m talking about disappointments in your friendships), try and resolve them respectfully and with grace. There is nothing worse than a friendship breaking down and becoming nasty. Once things are resolved, you need to forgive and FORGET. Never bring up past issues and hurts as that is just too damaging to any relationship. Keeping a mental diary of every person that has hurt you will only fill your life with bitterness, and will eat you up inside. Today is the day to resolve past issues. Today is the day to spend with the people you love. Today is the day that we can all move to a greater and better level in our relationships and friendships. True friendships last forever, through thick and thin. If there has been a little issue that has blown out over the past few weeks or months, be the bigger person and resolve it today. Life is too precious to carry grudges, especially against people that we were once so close to. So what are you waiting for? Let your true friends know just how much you appreciate them, today. It could be the best gift they receive all day.
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25
WHATISITYOUDESIRE?
Our desires rule every part of our lives. Whether they are good or bad desires, we tend to gravitate towards them nonetheless. So much so that it could be said that desire is the motivating force that rules each and every person on the planet. You can see the effects of desire in every action and reaction around you. A hungry man desires food. A religious person desires spiritual fulfilment. A charity volunteer or a philanthropist desires morality. We all at some time in our lives desire to do good, which in turn will bring good back to each and every one of us. The desires that you have had up until this point have brought you to where you are right now, reading this book. But there are also people motivated by greed and selfishness who desire to do bad things. This, unfortunately, leads them further away from prosperity, sometimes without them even knowing it. The question, when it comes to desire, is this: do your 77
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desires take you closer to prosperity, or do they take you further away from it? Unless you address this question, you may never reach the level of prosperity you desire. We cannot just ignore or dismiss our desires as they really are the motivating force behind what drives us. Try to turn off your desires . . . It just can’t be done. Desire is the power behind all actions; it’s just the way life is, like it or not! That being the case, strongly desire all that you want. Confidently desire to be a better person, and work hard at keeping a check on your desires. Don’t be wishy-washy with them, otherwise your outcomes will reflect that. Dream it, think it, and always aim for it. You must learn to want it with every part of your being; if you don’t want it bad enough, you will never reach it and that would be a real shame. You need to go after all that you desire and demand it in the same way that you demand food and water each day. Many of us have lost sight of what we really desire in life. We all need to remind ourselves of the importance of rediscovering our desires and the spark that makes life worthwhile. If we fail to do this we will just settle for mediocrity and never make the most of our potential. And we need to understand what it is that we actually desire. For instance, a lot of people’s desires seem to revolve around what other people have. While it is fine to look at how other people are going around you, never fall into the trap of desiring to live their life and focusing on their achievements instead 78
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What is it you desire?
of your own. If you do, your desire will soon be replaced with their desires. Too many people fall into this trap. All they end up doing is looking at the façade of other people’s lives and never tapping into their own potential, which could otherwise perhaps even take them way past those around them. Now I am not for a minute trying to say that life is all about who finishes in front with the most stuff. Not at all. But what I am trying to point out is that if you just focus on your desires and don’t measure yourself against someone else’s achievements, you may just surprise yourself as to how far you might actually get in your own pursuit of prosperity. So, do you desire prosperity? Are you totally committed to addressing whatever areas need addressing to get there?
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26
BEPASSIONATE
Passionate people produce! Passion is more than just a nice word. I believe that to be passionate about something, we first need to understand what passion is all about and what it entails. It’s fine to feel strongly about something, but unless you do something about it—unless you’re productive —nothing will come of it. You need to be aware of opportunities and ways to put your passion into action. Know yourself and your passion, and take control—don’t be negotiable. 1. Productivity—passion is great as a word, but unless it’s combined with productivity it will remain just that. A WORD! Productivity requires a whole lot of action. It is that action that will produce results. There are many people out there who have the great dreams, the long list of goals and who ‘claim’ to be passionate about fulfilling every goal that they have set for themelves, but they are too lazy to get off their 80
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backsides to make it all happen. As soon as hard work and effort is required, they retreat back into their own world of laziness. It is fine to continually claim that you have the passion to succeed, but unless you’re productive those dreams you have will just stay in the distance without getting any closer to reality. Passion, I believe, produces more passion. As you start to use your passion in whatever you are doing or whatever you are trying to achieve, it will start to grow your dream into bigger and wider areas, and open your eyes up to more possibilities that you may not have even contemplated, bringing on a sense of further accomplishment. 2. Awareness—being aware of what is happening around you may sound like commonsense, but it would probably surprise you if you knew how many people miss the boat and turn up too late for their own dreams. There are many opportunities out there that, if taken, will take you to your goals and dreams maybe that little bit quicker. Some people have everything all planned out to the smallest detail, but they end up missing fantastic opportunities that could have made that journey a whole lot simpler purely by overplanning and underperforming. Having a big picture is great, but you need to make small steps first to get there. I have met numerous people who have told me that years ago they had a great idea, but didn’t act upon it until it was too 81
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late, or didn’t act upon it at all. This, I believe, is because they were not aware of the opportunities that were there in front of them. It is too late to wish that you should of or could of when it comes to your dreams. Being aware of what is happening around you and what could happen is what being passionate is all about. 3. Individuality—you are who you are. What makes you tick, what makes you think and what drives you, is all you. It is that same you that is the one who has the potential to make your goals and dreams come to life. Ultimately, you are who you are—good and bad. It is up to you to be the best that you can be. Too many times people start changing when they reach some level of success in their own lives. In some instances they change for the worse. Being your own person is extremely important along your journey in life. Your passion can disappear as quickly as it comes if you are not careful. You shouldn’t alter the level of passion needed in your life unless it is in a positive direction. Too many people make the big mistake of reducing their passion levels as soon as they reach one of their goals or dreams. If only we realise that it was the passion of wanting to achieve that goal that got us there in the first place, so the same (if not greater) level of passion is required if we are to achieve even more. No matter where you end up—fulfilling your dreams or working on them—remember to remain the real you. 82
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4. Not Negotiable—I am not sure if you have the two words ‘Not Negotiable’ printed across your chequebook, but if you do you will soon look at those words in a different light. In layman’s terms, ‘not negotiable’ on a cheque means that no one but the person or company whose name is written on the cheque can put that money into their account. It is a pity that more people don’t adopt the principle of ‘not negotiable’ in regard to their dreams and goals. Why is it that we are all guilty of allowing others to affect our passion, our goals and the dreams that we have set for ourselves? I believe that as soon as you allow others around you to affect the level of your passion, you allow them to dictate the outcome of the goals and dreams that you have set for yourself. So take control and don’t be negotiable on your passion or your dreams.
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27
SUCCESSISALLABOUT INFLUENCE One of the side effects of success is that you have a level of influence you may not have had before. Influence is a wonderful thing if used appropriately. The problem most people face throughout their lives is that while they may want to influence others or various situations around them, they are sometimes unable to for various reasons. I have found, personally, that I am now able to have a greater level of influence because of my past and present success. This really floats my boat as I am now able to impact areas that ten years ago I would never have imagined. Influence is kind of like a complimentary gift you receive along with a purchase —you seem to get it whether you want it or not. The reason I am telling you this is to give you the heads up on what your success may bring with it. Just as power can be misused, so too can influence. If you only use your influence for your own gain, then I believe your fortunes and success will be short-lived. 84
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Success is all about influence
Excellence plays a big part with influence. If you are not operating on a level of excellence then your growth into where you want to be from a financial and personal perspective will be minimised. The one thing you can’t afford to be when aiming for a greater level of prosperity, purpose and even excellence is wishy-washy. Never let your morals or standards be swayed. As I’m writing, I’m watching a huge tree beside my house being tossed around by the wind. It has no control over where the wind blows it. Next to that tree is a telegraph pole. It is not moving at all. You and I need to be like the telegraph pole when it comes to our standards and morals, from both a financial and personal perspective. Don’t be swayed or pushed into doing things and operating in a way that is anything less than the standard you have set yourself or that goes against what you believe. So how do I lead a life of influence, I hear you ask? To be honest, it really is a simple process. First, you need to decide that you are going to live that type of life. Too many people just take what comes their way instead of holding fast to what they want to do, what they believe and where they want to go. You need to understand that living a life of influence is totally selfregulated. It is entirely up to you how you go about it. Sure, you can be influenced by other people, but are they influencing you in a positive or negative way? Only you will be able to answer that question. Secondly, you need to think about your passions and what you believe in, and what you might like to 85
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achieve through your influence. Then you need to plan how you are going to go about it. And thirdly, you will be able to see from the people around you whether or not your influence is having any impact. By that, I mean that if you think you are living a life of influence then you should be influencing those close to you. Simple, I know, but this is probably the best self-test around when it comes to influence. Please don’t think for a minute I am trying to preach at you here. I only figured this out for myself a few years ago. Before that, I was using my influence to line my own pocket and to increase my own stuff. Recently I launched my own project, Prosperity for a Purpose, in partnership with Watoto to build orphanages in Uganda. For only $19 000 we can build, furnish and house eight AIDS-affected orphans and one widowed mother. There are approximately two million orphans in Uganda, and I believe that you and I can make a difference in their lives. Now, for me, this is what success is about. It is about going beyond myself and assisting others who are in need. While I’m on the subject, I would be honoured if you would join with me in this project. I don’t want you to go beyond your spending capability here, though. I am only asking you to invest $120 per year to help change the future for eight children. For more details, please have a look at <www.prosperityfora purpose.com> (or page 165 of this book), and thank you for your future support in this project. 86
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WHATYOUFOCUSONIS ALLTHATYOUWILLSEE ‘Focus’ seems to be the buzz word of the moment. ‘What are you focusing on in your life right now?’ ‘It seems as though you are losing focus.’ Comments like these drive me crazy. While I would be one of the biggest believers that we all need to focus, I tend to feel that the true essence of ‘focus’ is being lost due to its overuse. The problem that I am seeing recently is that, while there may be focus, there seems to be a lack of clarity. You see, without clarity your focus is somewhat diminished. It also has to be said that, without clear and concise focus, all you will end up doing throughout your life is heading in whatever direction seems to take your fancy at the time. It becomes something like READY . . . FIRE . . . AIM! This is how I see the difference between focus and clarity: focus is the ‘what’ and ‘how’, whereas clarity is the ‘why’. Let me explain. You need to know what you want to do and what you are doing right now— 87
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without that information, once again, you are really just filling in time. You also need to know how to do something; how you should progress to the next level of success in your life, how to get that better job or whatever else it is you want to do. But it is the why that is the most important question that you need to ask yourself. Too many people want to reach a greater level of success in their lives, whether financial or personal, but they never ask themselves why it is they want it. Without that information you are potentially wasting a lot of time aiming for something that doesn’t even matter to you. My advice is to have a clear understanding of why you want to achieve the goals you have set yourself in life. Then, and only then, are you able to move towards achieving those goals.
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ETHICSISNOTA DIRTYWORD! There are a few things in business that seem to be disappearing these days, and I have to say that being ethical is one of those things. It never ceases to amaze me the lengths some people will go to just to get ahead. Some people have no regard whatsoever as to how others will fair after a deal or what the other party in a deal will lose as a result of their gain. This can even relate to our personal lives and friendships. Too many times, ‘friends’ will do anything to get themselves ahead without any consideration to those around them. Your values and standards are where your ethics stem from and they need to be guarded and protected. I grew up in an environment very different to what the business world can sometimes be. I was brought up to be nice to others, to be kind, to think of others before myself and, above all, not to treat anyone other than the way in which I would wish to be treated myself. Was I in for a shock when I started my business?! 89
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While I had those ideals, it seemed there were many others in the business world that did not. There seems to be an undercurrent of selfishness that is as clear as day. You could sometimes be mistaken for thinking that having no ethics is a business skill. I know that I may be exaggerating, but ask anyone in business the last time they were ripped off or taken for a ride. I will guarantee you that you will be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t had these negative things happen to them. So what do you do? Do you change your belief system to accommodate and fit in with others, or do you stand firm? I totally believe that it is during the times when your ethics are challenged that you will see who you really are and what you truly stand for. My father used to say, ‘If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything’. This is so true, especially within the business world. We are all guilty of trying to fit in and trying to please those around us. But for what? I probably won’t have to live with my business colleagues for the rest of my life, but I will have to live with myself. That being the case, I want to make sure I don’t disappoint myself. We all need to stand up for what we believe in, no matter what the cost. There are too many people out there who continually change to fit in with the beliefs and operating structures of others, all the time changing and moving away from what they personally believe. This is a recipe for failure, as what you are effectively doing is living other people’s experiences. That is fine if, by living those experiences, your out90
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Ethics is not a dirty word!
comes are good and fulfilling, but if they aren’t then you only have yourself to blame. Odds are, living other people’s experiences will not have the most lasting effect on your life anyway. Each and every one of us has a destiny and, like it or not, ethics have a major role to play in it. If you go about living life the right and honest way, then odds are you will enjoy success at some point, and it will come from a right and honest direction. If you are unethical about how you achieve success, then sure, you may enjoy a taste of success due to the fact you have scammed your way there, but it will be short-lived as that success was built upon a negative platform. Your ethics are your own personal rules of conduct and your beliefs—not someone else’s. How you operate throughout your personal and business or work life will all come down to where your ethics sit. So make sure you don’t go through life operating on someone else’s level and playing by their rules. Recently I was asked to speak at a wealth-creation conference where the person who convened it was less than ethical. The problem was, he didn’t seem to think the people attending this conference would work it out. I have since received hundreds of emails from the attendees, all pointing out his lack of ethics. You see, if you are unethical, while you may think you will get away with it, others will smell it a mile away. Be determined to remain ethical in every situation, even if you lose out. Don’t compromise yourself to get ahead.
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ATTITUDEIS EVERYTHING When I was speaking at an event recently, a lady came up to me when I finished and told me that success, in whatever part of your life, is totally up to the way you think. While I somewhat agree, I decided to probe a little further into her idea. What this woman believed is that if she thought she was going to be successful, then automatically, as if by magic, success would appear in front of her. Now, that would be great if that was the case, but in reality it is far from the truth. What I believe is that our attitude towards whatever we are doing will affect how it will all work out. You see, if your attitude towards doing something is negative then your results will show that. Sure, we all have stuff that happens to us that doesn’t feel the best, but your success in moving forward is directly linked to how you respond to those situations. The following is a simple test to work out your attitude and its results. 92
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Good attitude = good results Bad attitude = bad results Neutral attitude = neutral results A lot of people operate throughout life with a neutral attitude. By that, I mean they just wait and see what will be thrown at them each day and then they try to handle it the best way they can. This is very scary as it will reduce you to an emotional wreck after a while. If your results are constantly negative or bad, before you go ahead and blame others, just check your attitude towards what you are doing. As simple as is sounds, it could be the thing that is affecting your outcomes. We all need to keep our attitudes in check every day so that when something negative comes our way, our positive attitudes takes over by default and we are able to stop the negativity right there and then. However, a positive outlook and attitude does not come naturally to some so you need to ensure you choose to be positive every day. Make sure you also steer clear of the negativeattitude people around you. It is so easy to be influenced by them, so you have to make sure you keep an eye out. Too many people just want to dump their negative attitudes on others. They seem to feel that if they are negative then everyone else around them should be too. Your job, if you choose to accept it, is to infect those around you with your positive attitude. Make sure you don’t go overboard, because there is nothing 93
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more sickly than an over-the-top positive person. You know, the type who just carries on with rah rah all the time? Just focus on what you can do to assist your own journey and let your results speak for themselves.
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ITALLCOMESDOWN TOWORK As a public speaker, I am regularly asked to speak at wealth-creation and success-type seminars and conferences all over the world (among other subjects). Now I am probably not your typical speaker at these types of seminars, because I come from the angle that if all you are focusing on is money, then all of your decisions will be focused on the dollar instead of other more important issues, which I don’t believe is a healthy way to live or operate. However, I am constantly asked to come back and speak again because the audience really gets where I am coming from— they apply the principles to their lives, experience a level of success, and as a result they give positive feedback to the organisers of these events. One thing that really bothers me at some of these events is when, occasionally, there is someone who presents their theory on how you can take short cuts to wealth. To them, it’s all about how to get there in the quickest time possible without having to do what 95
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everyone else has done. Now that is a great theory, but I have to say that it is fraught with danger. Let me explain. Becoming wealthy is not only about the dollar figure. If it was then anyone who decided one day to aim for a level of wealth would reach it and the entire planet would be filled with filthy rich people. Building wealth has got a whole lot more to do with the individual, the process and the journey. You see, there really are no short cuts to becoming wealthy. Sure, there are some people who reach it quicker than others, but they still have to go through the same process as everyone else. Recently I came across a man who really understood what I have told you. Noah saw a gap in the market and so he formulated a product called Edge Hair Clay—a waterproof hair wax for guys (www.edgeindustries.com.au). That’s right, when you go swimming you can get out of the water and look the same as when you went in. What an amazing concept and product. I was blown away by it. Now, the fact that it was a good idea meant absolutely nothing on its own. Noah had to work on that idea and make it into a real-life success. The products are now being picked up all over Australia and he is well and truly on his way to success. That is partly due to Noah understanding that he had to put in the effort and not cut any corners. How much do you want success? Are you willing to cut corners and look for the easy option or are you going to stick out the journey no matter what is thrown your way? 96
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NEGATIVITYLIMITSYOU
While it may be hard sometimes to stay positive, negativity will only lead you down a path that you really don’t want to go down. Negativity is so damaging that it can cause you to live in an environment that only takes you further away from what you desire instead of closer towards it. If you dwell in the land of negativity you are only opening yourself up to more of the same. It has to be said, though, that sometimes it is easier to be negative than to find a positive side to things. That is why you really need to work at finding a positive slant to a situation rather than just focusing on the negative aspect of it. Let’s look at how negativity can affect you. 1. Negativity forces you to only focus on your perceived issues. We all have stuff that we are going through. The problem is that when someone is constantly negative, all they do is focus on what 97
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is going wrong for them, and on the ‘what if’ instead of on the real issues. They never seem to stop, look up and see that there are solutions for every problem. Actual issues and perceived issues can be miles apart. You see, what we perceive becomes ‘fact’ in our thinking if we are not careful. 2. Negative people attract negative people. If you are negative, I guarantee that you will have surrounded yourself with similarly negative people. All that happens then is there is a constant cycle of input that is adding to the issues instead of solving them. Like attracts like. If you are not careful, you will be surrounded by people who only want to dump their negativity on you because you will listen. 3. Negativity blows things way out of proportion. If you look at a situation from a negative viewpoint, it will always look a lot worse than it is. You need to stand right back from the situation, take stock and view it with a sense of optimism. I guess it comes down to the glass half-full/half-empty mentality. Some people just focus on what they don’t have or what they could have instead of what they do have and what they have achieved. So how can we change a negative attitude into a positive one? The answer is quite simple. It comes down to choice. Most times we are all so locked into our own dramas and situations that we end up just going along with what is thrown at us. When there is a sense of a loss of control, it can be easy to think that 98
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Negativity limits you
we have to take whatever is thrown our way. The minute you decide that you are going to step up and above your negativity is the minute you have made the choice to change. Remember, if nothing changes nothing changes!
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ICOULDNEVERDOTHAT!
Have you ever looked at successful people and thought to yourself, I could never do that, or, I would never attempt what they have done? Maybe you have even thought to yourself, they must have a lot of qualities that I don’t have. So what is it that successful people have that people who are yet to experience a level of success don’t? I personally believe that they don’t have anything different at all. In fact, success is not only there for a select few. If only we all understood that we can achieve what we desire and operate from that understanding, maybe, just maybe, you could reach that goal that you desire. To prove my point, I want to give you an insight as to where I came from. Growing up in a family that loved me was great. Did that then mean that I was destined to succeed due to the love factor? NO! I failed miserably at school. In fact, the only thing I seemed to pass in school was lunchtime. By the time 100
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I could never do that!
I finished Year 10 it was suggested that it would be better for me to find a job instead of coming back for the final two years of school. After a few years of going from job to job, trying to find what I was good at and trying to find my place in life, I had had enough. I am one of those people who appreciates the nice things, like cars and holidays, but I have never expected to be handed these things on a platter. I always understood, even when I was at school, that it was up to me to get what I wanted out of life and that it was no one else’s responsibility. So when I decided to start my first business, Attitude Inc.®, I realised that this could be my way of getting to where I wanted to be financially. Now, while I was not necessarily the brightest spark at school, I never let my past results determine my future rewards, so I really worked hard at learning what might come naturally for some people. I never once thought that I was not good enough to reach success. This is where a lot of people let themselves down. Their negative thinking affects their final outcomes; so much so that they never seem to start anything, yet constantly criticise those who have done something with their lives (but that’s another story!). Attitude® took off and became an international success. When I was asked to write a book, once again, the first thing that came into my head was, I can’t do that, I failed school, how will I ever manage that. But due to my past successes, this time I was able to tackle that challenge. The first book became an international bestseller. 101
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I have since written four more books (all bestsellers), and invested in numerous businesses, as well as many other ventures. On top of all that, my main focus and time is now taken up with corporate and motivational speaking, both here in this country and around the world, speaking to over 150 000 people each year. Why do I tell you all of this? Is it to get a free plug? No! It is to highlight the fact that even though you may have had a bad start in life or experienced a level of failure up to this point, and even though you may think that success is for the privileged, your success is only limited by your imagination and your desire to move past your past. Was I good at everything I tried? Not at all. I had to learn how to be better than my past experiences. So what do you see yourself doing now, in a month, a year or two years down the track? Are you going to limit your success by focusing on your past failures and mistakes? Or are you going to use those frustrations as fuel to take you somewhere you have never been but would love to go? Trust me—I bet you can do it!
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NOTHINGCOMESEASY
I am constantly approached by people when I am speaking at an event and asked the same two questions: ‘How easy is it to become rich?’ and, ‘How can I become rich really fast?’ I am still amazed at the thought process that must be going on in these people’s heads. You see, the prize doesn’t go to the first person to reach a million dollars or to the person who dies with the most money in the bank. The prize is the fact that you have attempted something and it has worked. Whether that is a financial goal or a personal goal, the end result is still the same. SATISFACTION! There are no short cuts to success. Sure, there are a lot of seminars out there promising to show you ‘all the secrets of the rich that they thought would never get out’, but that is a load of hogwash. We all need to understand that to reach a level of success takes a while, and there will be a lot of up and down experiences along the way. 103
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Recently I had two very different experiences that I hope will highlight the two ways people view reaching and experiencing success. Tara was a young woman who rang me one day for some advice about her business, which was just in the start-up phase. She was struggling with the day-to-day processes of setting this business up and was finding it a bit daunting. After speaking to her for a while and giving her some advice based on my experiences, she seemed to feel better and was fairly confident that she could overcome her issues. About a month later I gave her a quick call to see how things were going for her. Her situation wasn’t a great deal better but her attitude towards fulfilling her dreams seemed to be right on track. She seemed to have a new spark in her voice. I asked her what it was and she told me that, no matter what, she was going to succeed. She also said that she knew that reaching a level of financial freedom was not going to be easy, but she wasn’t going to allow herself to give up. Then there was Simon. Simon approached me around the same time as Tara. Simon was also struggling with his business. The difference between Simon and Tara, however, was that Simon expected everyone else to get him to where he wanted to go. I also sat down with Simon and, in fact, ended up giving him more time than I did Tara. He was a very draining person. You may have met people like Simon before. You know the type that, no matter what you say or what advice you give them, there is always an 104
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Nothing comes easy
answer or a reason why your way wouldn’t work? Well, that was Simon. I showed him some very simple principles that, if implemented, would take his business to the next level. I also contacted Simon a few weeks later to see how he was going. Well, I shouldn’t have bothered. All he did was whinge and whine. He was frustrated —not with himself, but with me—because he didn’t want to do what I told him. He wanted an easier way, something that would save him time and effort while also making him money. He was not prepared to put in the hard yards to get what he wanted. You see, if there are things you want that you don’t already have, then extra effort will be required. While I realise that this may seem like commonsense, you would be surprised by the number of Simons out there and the lack of Taras. Only one of the two people I have mentioned here will have even a slim chance of reaching their desired success. There are no guarantees that any of us will reach success. Just because you would like to become successful doesn’t really mean anything. The minute you acknowledge to yourself that you are going to do whatever it takes and that nothing comes easy is the minute you are finally on your way to seeing some success in your life. Never give up. Go on, I dare you!
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THEFIVESENSESOF THEENTREPRENEUR If you have seen me speak you will know that I believe the word ‘entrepreneur’ is used way too much these days. People seem to wear it as a badge instead of just getting out there and doing entrepreneurial things. Just because you run or own a successful business doesn’t necessarily mean you are an entrepreneur. True entrepreneurs have a different mind-set to others. They will go way above and beyond to complete and finish something that they have started. I have developed a theory that I call the five senses of the entrepreneur, which highlights those differences. We all have five senses—sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch. The entrepreneur has those five senses, too, but to them they mean something totally different. The five senses relay messages to your brain which make you operate in a certain way. This is the same for the entrepreneur, only their brain uniquely interprets them, allowing them to operate and succeed on another level. This is how an entrepreneur uses the five senses. 106
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The five senses of the entrepreneur
1. Sight—Entrepreneurs can see things average business owners can’t. By that, I mean that they can see the potential in the smallest of things—whether it is a new trend or a different way of doing something—and, in turn, gain bigger and better results. They also have the foresight to see past the hurdles or obstacles that most business owners would see as a full stop, and to press on despite the issues they may face. However, they aren’t really good on the stuff that is right in front of their faces, the day-to-day stuff, as they are already thinking far in advance. You could say that some entrepreneurs have blinkers on. Once they are focused on something, they will see it through to the end. Whatever comes their way will be dealt with quickly so they don’t lose momentum or become distracted. 2. Smell—An entrepreneur can smell success from a mile away. In fact, they can smell it before they even experience it. It is that sweet smell that keeps them driving towards their goals. Just as they can smell the sweetness of success, so too can they smell a bad deal. Now, I am not saying that everything an entrepreneur puts their hands to will always work, but as they go through their lives they will know quickly if something smells a bit off. It is this sense that is the most important one to an entrepreneur. Without the whiff of something potentially huge and exciting, an entrepreneur will usually let it go. 107
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3. Taste—Entrepreneurs can taste success in everything they do. The specific taste of a small deal or a venture doesn’t really concern them as they know what the ultimate taste of success will be like when that deal is completed. Even when they taste something bitter—whether it is a deal gone wrong or a poor decision—they will press on until the sweet taste of success is once again filling their mouths. Just as we are all made to eat disgusting vegetables as kids, like cauliflower and brussels sprouts, until we’re able to make our own choices as adults, so the entrepreneur goes through the hard yards, just like everyone else, until they are successful enough to go after whichever taste they most desire. And until they taste it, they will not give up. 4. Hearing—The ear receives a whole lot of different vibrations and sound waves, which it then processes into something that makes sense to our brains. All of us hear various feedback, business opportunities and potential deals throughout our lives. Whereas most people will act on that information and potentially lose out on a bad deal, an entrepreneur knows what success sounds like and will quickly decipher that information and either act upon it or dismiss it straight away just by the sound of it. Entrepreneurs have selective hearing. They know what they want to hear and they know what success sounds like. The entrepreneur has the knack of blocking out negative information or comments. Unlike others, they don’t allow that negative information 108
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The five senses of the entrepreneur
to pass into their thinking and, in turn, into their actions. 5. Touch—An entrepreneur will not give up until they have a firm grip on what they have been pursuing. For some, it may take a short time, and for others a very long time. But until they have that success by the throat, they will not let it go. This is not to say that everything an entrepreneur sets their hands to will work. It is more that they know the feel of what they are looking for. They know how hard they need to press or how gentle they need to be. Just like holding a baby as opposed to a hammer, the true entrepreneur will have an understanding of the touch that is required. So, as you see, there are many facets that set an entrepreneur apart from your average business owner. So instead of just wanting to be called an entrepreneur, why not operate in a way that your results speak for themselves. Practice these five senses, study real life entrepreneurs and set about kicking some business goals.
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LIVELIFETOYOUR FULLESTPOTENTIAL Writing this piece is a hard thing for me to do. I have so many emotions running around inside me today that I find it difficult to concentrate on anything. I am torn between sadness, disappointment, frustration, anger and even shock. You see, a few days ago a friend of mine passed away due to unfortunate circumstances. Paul (not his real name) had so much going for him. He had a great business and was making a huge impact on those who came into contact with him, but he threw it all away. After hearing the news I instantly thought of the things he was yet to achieve, the lost opportunities he missed out on. Each and every one of us has the potential to achieve greater things than we can ever imagine for ourselves. Sure, we set our goals and dream big, but there is so much more out there for us if we just push through those barriers around us.
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Live life to your fullest potential
The reason I chose this title is to show you that we all need to live life as if every day was our last. What if, by some miracle, you could find out when your time was up? Wouldn’t that change your approach to everyday life? Wouldn’t you live every day trying to achieve greater things? You see, too many people are waiting for something better to come along or a better opportunity to present itself, when in reality that opportunity could be right in front of them the whole time. We all need to be happy where we are right now, today. Unless you are happy now, you will never be happier once you get ‘all that you desire’. I know that this may go against what you have heard or read in the past, but stop once in a while to take stock of all that you have achieved up to this point in your life. We all only have one life to live. It is up to you to make it the best life possible. I am sick and tired of seeing people wasting their potential. This country and this world is full of untapped potential. It is about time we focused on living a life that is overflowing with achieved success. There will no doubt be many things out there that will take your attention away from your goals, but stick at it. Don’t allow other influences to distract you. If you are reading this and you are one of those lucky ones who have reached what others would consider ‘success’, then it is up to you to nurture and build up those around you to help them reach success, too. It is about time we all work together. The time to be selfish with our information, our knowledge and 111
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even our time is over. Together, we can all live full lives. There is nothing better than helping each other reach success. If you are greedy then I believe your success will be short-lived. I believe Paul was greedy. Whilst he reached a level of success, he kept it to himself. He focused only on what he could get out of it. How sad. He had the potential to show others (just by living a life full of purpose) that anything could be achieved no matter what side of the tracks you come from. What is it that you have let go? What part of your life aren’t you living to its fullest potential? We all need to take stock of our lives every day. I know that this is a bit deep for even me, but I am saddened by the loss of my friend, which was in vain. Make sure you don’t just aim at wealth and forget about those around you. Make sure you remember that if you are successful there will be by default people watching and learning from you. That being the case, live life to the fullest and be amazed at the results—not only your own results but those of others around you.
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ITHASTOBEBIGGER THANYOU While everyone seems hell-bent on becoming wealthy at all costs, the desire to become ‘prosperous’ has seemingly fallen to the background. I see building wealth as very one dimensional. It can potentially become a very selfish path if you are not careful. You see, when you are aiming towards wealth creation, the danger is that you will end up becoming single focused, just like a horse with blinkers on. Your whole effort and focus can tend to be set on what you think will make you, and you alone, happy. I believe we all need to have a bigger way of thinking, which will then lead to a greater impact with what we are doing. That is why I want to show you a different side to wealth creation. Being prosperous is something that I have always aimed at, not becoming rich! Now, I know there are probably a few people out there reading this, thinking that I am splitting hairs, but let me explain. Wealth is all about personal accomplishment from a financial 113
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perspective, whereas prosperity is a holistic approach that encompasses other people around you as well. It is this perspective that I want to touch on. We all need to have bigger goals than those concerning just ourselves. While I am a big believer in having the nice cars, the nice house and going on the nice holidays, I am also very big on impacting on everyone I come into contact with. I believe that by creating wealth and reaching a level of prosperity, we are able to make a greater impact in the world in which we live, as long as our thinking is BIG. We all need to ensure that our thinking has stretchmarks. Just ask yourself one question: what would happen if you reached the financial goals that you have set for yourself? Would you be happy? What would you do next? You see, while many people will fall short of their desired outcomes, there is still a lot they can do to make a huge impact on not only their lives but on those of others around them as well. The biggest principle that I have subscribed to over the past ten years since I started my business is the principle of generosity. While I know there may be a few people that will disagree with this next statement, the fact is, there is really only so much money you can make until you have enough. That being the case, don’t stop there. There are so many people in the world today that will never have the opportunities that you and I have. So why not use your wealth to make an impact on their lives as well? 114
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It has to be bigger than you
If you look at some of the world’s richest people, you will see that it is standard practice that they will give away a percentage of their income to charities or to areas that are in need. This principle is one that I have always held since I was very young, and is also one that I encourage my children to adopt. The minute we understand that prosperity is about helping, rather than impressing, those around us, we start to grow not only from a financial perspective, but also from a human perspective. We all need to ensure that our success counts for something. We need to make an imprint on future generations to ensure that they don’t end up selffocused. So how will they learn? Easy. If they see that our mission in life was not only to enjoy our success but to share it around as well, they will learn by example. Lastly, I want to touch on action versus attitude. Many of us (me included) go about trying to create our wealth the best way we know how. While we are not doing anything wrong and our actions are proving to be a winning formula, we nevertheless need to consider our attitude towards that process. In other words, why we want to be wealthy and what we want to do with it. I see aiming for a higher level of wealth as an action, and aiming for prosperity as an attitude. It’s a small difference, but still a difference. There is nothing wrong with aiming for a greater level of wealth in our lives. In fact, I would be one of the biggest advocates for this. But what I want you to consider is how you affect others around you along the way. 115
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Don’t wait until you are ‘rich’ before you start sharing your wealth. As my father used to say, if you can’t be generous with $10 with your friends, how do you think you will be able to, all of a sudden, become generous with $1 million? Aim for success, set your sights on creating your wealth, but keep your thinking bigger than just you.
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FINDYOURFAULTS FAULTS!!! I hear you scream. I don’t have faults!! Well, let me tell you, you do, and the fact that you can’t admit it is probably your first and biggest fault. (If you are a male, like me, then you will definitely think that you have no faults.) If you are anything like me, you will believe that, for the most part, you have everything together. You know there are a few little niggling things that you could work on, but there isn’t really much you need to address. Your life and plans are all going the way you would like them to and nothing is going to stop your progress. You are also very aware of the comments that occasionally come your way from those close to you that highlight an area or two that, as far as you are concerned, you have together. So that must mean that those close to you have no idea. All they are trying to do is pull you down because they don’t want you to succeed. WRONG!!! Maybe they just want what’s best for you. It could be that you yourself are your worst enemy. 117
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Well, it is those little comments that keep cropping up that we need to look out for. Just remember, if you don’t find your faults others around you will, and most times they will be quite blunt in pointing them out. Your loved ones generally have your best interests in mind. If you are constantly noticing certain faults being brought up, then maybe, just maybe, there is an area that needs attention. Never get to the point where you think you have outgrown advice and constructive criticism. This is one area that I have really had to work hard on. I hate being shown where I am lacking. I hate having those close to me point out where I am stuffing up. But I love the feeling I get, (and it’s a life-long feeling) when I address those areas and move on to bigger and better things. Pride is a powerful thing, your pride can and will slow you down and potentially move you away from those goals and dreams that you have, purely because you have allowed it to get in the way. Our opinions of ourselves may not always be a true gauge. We all need those close friends and family around us so we can get third-party influence and opinions. Trust me, it may hurt sometimes, it may sting the old pride and hurt the ego, but it will also send a huge wake-up call towards you which, if taken with the right attitude, can challenge you to get back on course. Don’t get too caught up in the whole fault-finding mission, though. What I mean by that is that sometimes we can sit and stare into our navels forever trying to find our deepest and darkest faults. What 118
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you need to do is find the fault, fix the fault and move on to living a better and fuller life. It is that simple. Don’t overcomplicate the whole process. All that will do is make you want to run away from your faults instead of fixing them. Remember, though, that some of those faults you have may have been ingrained for a long time. It has taken you years to be who you are, to develop those attitudes, those feelings and those reactions. That being the case, it may take a lot of effort to overcome them. But you can overcome anything you set your mind to. All you have to do is just start.
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THINKRIGHT
With all that is going on in the world these days it is all too easy to miss the importance of positive thinking, of positive influences and positive environments. And we often quickly dismiss this important key to success due to the hype that surrounds the whole positive-thinking area. To be honest, I am not a great believer in positive thinking in its true sense. I believe more in positive reality. By that, I mean, whatever my reality— good or bad—I have to make the best I can of it. We are constantly told to ‘think positive’, but what does that actually mean? The picture I had in my head when I was growing up of someone who was always positive, was a guy in a safari suit with thick black-rimmed glasses and no personality, ranting and raving about the benefits of having a positive outlook. In reality, though, without the influence of a positive environment and a positive mentality, we will always continue to struggle to get what we want out of life. 120
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Think right
Just as I am a black or white type of thinker, I have to say that I tend to put most experiences into two categories as well: positive or negative. You see, when you keep your thinking simple and positive, your actions will be easier to administer because you don’t have all of the clutter getting in the way. When you start looking at every opportunity and setting your goals from a positive perspective, rather than a negative one, you will find those opportunities and goals easier to reach. When negative thinking gets in the way, all that does is basically put into your thinking and, in turn, your actions, all the reasons why you think you can’t achieve them. You have basically talked yourself out of wanting to achieve what you desire before you have even started. For some, the negative angle is a lot easier to handle than the positive one. When you’re negative, you don’t need to address change. You can just stay the same miserable you forever. It is when we start operating from a positive angle that we constantly challenge our thinking and actions. It is no wonder so many people are still chasing their dreams and goals, all because they haven’t replaced their negative thinking with positive thinking. I can already hear half of you saying to yourselves—so, how do I change my thinking? If it was really easy then everyone would be positive and would have a positive approach to life. What is simple, though, are some of the steps that can get you to turn around your thinking from that of a negative and somewhat defeatist approach, to one that is 121
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willing to give anything a try regardless of perceived failure. When I was little, I remember a book that I think was called The Little Red Caboose. This children’s book was about a little train that was fully loaded, making its way up a very steep mountain. Halfway up the mountain it started to run out of steam. The little train then started saying to itself, ‘I think I can, I think I can, I think I can’. In the end, the little train talked itself up and over that mountain. The point of me telling you that children’s story is to demonstrate the principle of a positive mind as well as positive words. You will face difficult times throughout your journey in life, and you will make mistakes. That is a guarantee. We all will and all do make mistakes. If you allow yourself and your thinking to be tainted by those setbacks, then you only have yourself to blame for slowing down your progress.
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ACTIONSSPEAKLOUDER THANWORDS Have you ever set yourself a New Year’s resolution? Most of us decide that New Year’s Day is the day that our resolutions will kick in. Some may have spent all of last year waiting and preparing for this day. For others perhaps it is just another attempt to start (or stop) something that you have promised yourself that you will do for many years now. So how do you actually complete and fulfil that New Year’s resolution? Or how do you just change some old habits, no matter what time of year it is? Well, it can be a lot easier than you think. Whether you want to give up smoking, lose those extra pounds, find a new job or spend more time with your loved ones, the principles of reaching those goals and living them are really all the same. The first thing you need to work out is what it is you really want. You need to be specific here. A lot of people make the mistake of being too general with their goals. The problem with that is you are aiming 123
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for something vague and undefined instead of a clear and concise result. So how will you know it when you reach your goal? Goals are just a motivational tool. They are there to give you something concrete to aim for. Your goals should be seasonal, achievable and reachable. What we all need to aim at, as well, is growth. By that, I mean we all need to grow into living our goals. Growth is constant and expanding, whereas goals are just the tools we use along the way to get us to the next stage of growth. So today is the day that it all starts. Don’t worry if you haven’t even thought about a resolution until now. Don’t even think about how much of a failure you are for not even starting it. So how do you go about getting going? Well, without sounding too flippant and simplistic, you need to start! Too many people decide on their goals, but they never actually do anything with them. The goals just stay inside their heads and never see the light of day. All you end up doing then is setting yourself up for frustration and disappointment every year. We all come up with some fantastic goals for ourselves each year, but the reality is that only a few of us ever go on to fulfil them. That is because we need to walk the talk. Your actions will speak louder than your words. If you don’t take action then all you are doing is kidding yourself every single day. I do not want to sound too harsh here, I just want you all to reach those goals you desire. 124
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Actions speak louder than words
One last thing. One of the biggest mistakes that many of us make is that we set goals that aren’t tangible. By that, I mean we set goals like, I want to be rich, or I want to be successful. These types of goals, I believe, aren’t tangible. You can’t reach out and grab or smell these kinds of goals. They are undefined feelings or emotions, and with emotions come surprises. Emotions go up and they come down. In one sense, they are very difficult to control as they are really at the mercy of what is happening around us instead of what we are making happen. So make today the first day of your journey, and make sure you stick it out today as you need to take it one day at a time. Success doesn’t happen overnight.
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DON’TBELOG-EYED
Sometimes when it comes to writing articles I can sit at my computer for hours trying to come up with a topic that is not only relevant but also will assist those who read it, whereas other times it can be quite easy and everything just flows nicely. This time it was easy. You see, I just got an email and a phone call from someone who felt that it was their right to lecture me on how I should write, on all of my sentence-structure problems and on how, as someone who writes, I should know the right and wrong way of doing it. It was their opinion that I never learnt anything in English when I was at school. Well, that came as no shock as the only thing I passed in school was recess! I tried to see this person’s point of view, but no matter how hard I tried, how much I looked at my past articles and books, I really couldn’t see what the problem was. Then I decided to read their email once again to see if I was missing something. To my 126
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Don’t be log-eyed
surprise, there were five spelling mistakes. You see, while this person was quick to point out someone else’s mistakes and faults they had forgotten to take a look at themself first. While it is fine to point at the speck in someone else’s eye, we must all first check to ensure there isn’t a log sticking out of our own! It is very easy highlighting the shortcomings or failures of others, but in reality all you end up doing is forcing more focus onto your own issues. Now, you may be comfortable with that, but that really is no way to go through life. Sometimes what is said to us can really affect us. For a brief moment I was put off by what was said to me, but I soon realised that it is a choice to either get offended or to let it go. Now, I have to say I found it quite amusing that someone would even bother to go to the effort that this person did, all over the way I constructed a few sentences. That being the case, I could choose to get highly offended (oh please) or I could just get on with getting on. One of the slogans that was on the back of an Attitude Gear® T-shirt sums up this perfectly. It said, ‘It’s none of my business what people think of me!’ That is the way that you need to go through life. Sure, people may have their opinion of what you are doing, what you should do or even who you should become, but if you lend your ears to those people you are allowing their opinions to have an impact on your life. If you just take care of what you need to take care of in life (which is YOU!), then that is all you need to 127
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concentrate on. Yes, there will still be people who will feel that it is their civil duty to tell you what your faults and failings are, but choose to let those words go in one ear and out the other. By taking it all on board you are allowing yourself to get caught up in their issues, which probably have nothing to do with you. But remember the other side as well. Before you decide to point out someone else’s faults or failings, make sure you have taken care of your own.
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SO,WHATISYOURREAL MOTIVATION? We are all guilty of wanting to change our circumstances, of wanting to better ourselves and alter our life’s plans, but unfortunately a lot of us fail to see the bigger picture. In fact many of us don’t even realise that there may even be a bigger picture. I am constantly coming into contact with people who are desperate to tell me about their latest business venture or who have a ‘great idea’ that will make them a lot of money, but unfortunately I am rarely approached by people who have a plan for what their money will actually bring them. I mean real and tangible dreams and goals. Creating wealth is a wonderful plan, yet those ‘take home’ end results seem quite distant to most. Too many people these days are so caught up in the process of creating wealth that they forget to have a real goal for what it may ultimately bring them. I personally know someone who is worth about $300 million. I already know what you are thinking— 129
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you would love to be in that position. Well I have to say, he would be one of the most miserable individuals I know. He has only just realised this for himself. You see, all he has been concentrating on for years is the pursuit of wealth. He has lost friends and family along the way, he has changed his original goals, and he has compromised some of his own personal beliefs and standards. All because he was so focused on being wealthy. I am not saying that pursuing wealth is a bad thing, but it all has to be put into context with the rest of our lives and not be all that our life stands for. There seems to be this culture today where we are all trying to outdo each other to see who has the most money in the bank. In some respects, gone are the days of taking others around us along for the ride. We have become a very insular society. Being wealthy should not be about being selfish; otherwise the person who will ultimately suffer the most will be ourself. Too often we dismiss those original goals and dreams and replace them with ones that are only there to impress others. I am not sure about you, but I want to make sure that I keep focused on the real reasons as to why I started this journey. When I started Attitude Gear®, all I had was $50. Now I have to point out that I was pretty happy at that point in my life. Sure, I was restricted as to what I could do every week, but there was a sense of enjoyment that I appreciated. As my business grew, I really started to feel the pressure: the pressure of success, the pressure of failure and the pressure of fulfilling my new goals and dreams. As I look back today from 130
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So, what is your real motivation?
where I have built my business to, I can honestly say that I am no happier now just because I have a little bit more money in the bank. Why, I hear your ask? I believe the reason is simple. I never set out to be rich. I never focused on the dollars. Yes, I was aware of what was required to build a business and what I was achieving, but my focus never centred on becoming wealthy. This, I believe, is a big mistake many people make today. They seem to think that wealth will bring them happiness. I am yet to meet someone who can look at their bank statement and fall over in fits of laughter and joy. Wealth can assist you on your journey but it should never be the only or main reason as to why you do what you do. The last area I would like to highlight is that of your personal standards. Too many people throw their standards out the window when it comes to creating wealth. There are way too many people out in the big bad world today who would rather cheat or take short cuts without sparing a single thought to the people who may be affected. You don’t want or need hollow results. By that, I mean that, if you succeed at the expense of others then your success, I am afraid, will be short-lived. My advice is to aim at your goals, aim at those dreams that you have always wanted fulfilled for yourself. Never lose sight of them. Don’t get caught in the trap of being wealthy or trying to create wealth just to keep up with the Joneses. Just be one of the Joneses. 131
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Aim at what you want and, until you get it, don’t get sucked in by all of the facades. Who cares if someone else gets there first!
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SELF-CREATION
I touched on the whole wealth-creation point earlier on in this book, but I would like to go a little bit further in this chapter. You see, a lot of people seem hell-bent on aiming towards financial freedom and financial security these days. They spend a lot of time, money and resources on finding a way to get to that dollar figure that they want, or to get that house that they have been dreaming of for years. Now, I have to say that there is nothing wrong with wanting these things, and I would be the first one to point you in the proper direction and pat you on the back when you reach that goal, but it constantly surprises me how many people don’t see the need to invest their time, money and resources into themselves from a human perspective. By that, I mean that if we all started focusing on what it was we needed to address within who we are as individuals, we may then see that our financial position isn’t necessarily being held up by market forces or 133
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business decisions, that it could have more to do with who we are and what we need to work on within ourselves, our attitudes and our personal issues. Recently I was talking to someone and the conversation really saddened me. From the outside, this person had a lot going for them. They had a very successful business, a beautiful house that was all but paid off, great kids and a fantastic wife. You could say that they were living the Aussie dream. Yet over the course of our conversation this person started to tell me how unhappy he was and that he wanted more. I then asked a question. I said, ‘If you got all that you desired, would you then be happy?’ To my surprise, he shot back, ‘No, I will never be happy. I will always want what I don’t have!’ It is my opinion that this person has missed the point of life. Here he is living the lifestyle that most dream about, but still there is a void in his life. If only he started to see where he has come from instead of what he doesn’t have . . . It is a fact that he has come a long way from where he was seven years ago, but instead of aiming for more ‘stuff’ that, by his own admission, will not make him happy, he should concentrate his time and effort on understanding why he isn’t happy now. You see, if you give an idiot a million dollars, you don’t have a successful person. You just have a millionaire who is still an idiot! Harsh, I know, but it is a fact. Money doesn’t make you a success; you make you a success. That is why we need to constantly work on being better individuals. The key 134
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Self-creation
to living a happy life is figuring out what makes you tick, how you can better yourself from a personal perspective, and enjoying EVERY moment that you are alive. Sure, there will be times when things are tough, but welcome to life on earth. There is no point going through life constantly striving for things that you don’t have if you can’t enjoy what you currently do have. All you are doing is forcing frustration into your life, and that is no way to live. So how do I change it, I hear you ask? Well, you need to be honest with yourself and look hard at where you are at. There are plenty of books that will assist you in this respect. You also need to stop looking at what you haven’t achieved and instead appreciate what you have achieved. It is okay to pat yourself on the back. The last thing you want to be doing is constantly chasing that rainbow that will never be caught. Start focusing your attention on what you need to work on from a personal perspective in order for you to excel as a person. Success is a matter of mind-set, not a dollar figure or a certain postcode.
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DON’TLOSESIGHT
With so much going on around us in our day-to-day lives, it is so easy to take our eyes off the ball and get caught up in the pressure of everyday living. This is not something that sets you apart from others. We all do it, but how can we recognise when we are off track? What we all need to do is keep totally and fully focused on where we want to go and on what our ultimate goals and dreams are. In running our personal, work and family lives, there are so many distractions that cross our paths. While we may think these distractions are important at the time, in reality they may be taking us in the wrong direction. We may think that we are doing the right thing, but in reality we may just be busy due to constantly having to get back on track. Let’s look at four aspects of focus and how they may either help or hinder you along the way:
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Don’t lose sight
1. Direction. Where you look is where you will end up. Yes, I know, no great pearl of wisdom there, but still the concept is worth mentioning. I was stuck in traffic the other day, lost in my own little world. I noticed a lady in the car next to me constantly staring in her rear-view mirror, laughing at the person driving behind her. I thought to myself that she had better be careful when, BANG, she ran straight into the back of the car in front of her. You see, there are so many people who are constantly focusing on the past and all of its problems, that they forget to focus on the future. As with this lady, if you look backwards all the time, then whatever presents itself to you in the future may come as a rude and unwelcome shock. You can’t then blame those around you for the outcome. 2. Blurred vision. Have you ever been to the optometrist to have your eyes checked? If you have, you may have used the machine that checks your eyes by placing various lenses in front of them. Most of those lenses make your vision become all blurry and you can’t make out what is in front of you. Some people face this, in principle, every day. Their vision is so blurry, thanks to the wrong motives, impatience or a lack of understanding as to what they really want, that they end up going through life simply accepting whatever comes their way. Make sure your vision for your life’s plans is clear and concise. Remember: if you have more than one vision for your life you end up with division! 137
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3. Hindsight. Ahh, we have all experienced the pleasure of hindsight. We have all done something that may not have gone the way we planned and then said to ourself, if only I had known that, then I wouldn’t have done it that way. Well, unfortunately life doesn’t really work like that. There is no rewind button like on a video player. We have to handle the consequences, whatever they may be. That being the case, make sure you really think things out before you attempt them. Make sure your focus is set on realistically achievable outcomes and not on what you merely hope can be achieved. 4. 20/20 vision. People with 20/20 vision are able to clearly focus without straining. This is how you need to be with your goals. The secret to maintaining 20/20 vision is that, if you start sensing a problem, you immediately give yourself a check-up. In other words you re-evaluate your progress and your direction based upon the goals you had set for yourself at the start. In my first book I wrote about the chameleon lizard. The chameleon has the rare ability of being able to move each of its eyes in different directions while hunting for food. It cannot attack its food, though, until both eyes are locked onto its prey. We all need to learn a lesson from this lizard. Make sure everything within you is focusing on your goals and dreams, and don’t make the mistake of thinking that you can attempt many things at the same time and expect them all to work out perfectly in the end. Keep focusing on your goals and never give up! 138
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THESADPASSINGOF COMMONSENSE I am constantly amazed at the lack of commonsense in some people’s actions. Whether it is investing into an obviously dodgy financial scheme, trying to get ahead by taking a short cut or even handling personal situations that would seem silly even to blind Freddy, commonsense seems to have been forgotten. If only we all applied the commonsense rule to everything we do, our journey would be a lot simpler due to the fact that we haven’t complicated the process. Recently I was sent an email with a eulogy written by an unknown source. I have to say, what you are about to read will put commonsense back into your everyday actions. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. 139
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He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, that life isn’t always fair, and maybe it just was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies such as, don’t spend more than you earn, and reliable parenting strategies like, adults, not children, are actually in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer paracetamol, sun lotion or a band aid to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense took a beating when you could no longer defend yourself from a burglar in your own home from fear of being sued for assault. Common Sense lost the will to live when the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. 140
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The sad passing of commonsense
Common Sense finally gave up after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a little in her lap, sued and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I’m a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. Remember: whatever you want to do, wherever you want to go in life, never forget to use commonsense. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Your future depends on you making sound and rational decisions and not getting caught up in the moment of something that could have a negative lifelong effect.
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YOURFUTUREISNOT INYOURPAST Recently I was speaking to someone in an airport lounge as I waited for my plane to board. After talking about a lot of nothing the conversation got a bit deeper. This man went into detail about all of the dramas he had experienced in his past with his relationships, finances and even family matters. Now, I have to say I really wasn’t expecting the conversation to go down that path, but it seemed that he wanted to get some stuff off his chest. After about 40 minutes of him downloading his past issues, failures and problems (his words), I asked him one question. I asked him, ‘What are you going to do with your future?’ This seemed to have him stumped. He took ages to answer, and then proceeded to tell me that his future was doomed no matter what he did because his past results had proven to him that life would never be kind. With that, my plane boarded and we parted. On the plane home that day all I could think of was that conversation. I was particularly saddened by 142
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this man’s outlook on his future. You see, he could not see that he had a future worth looking forward to, all because he was taking his past results and imposing them onto his future. Your past has passed and is buried, so there is no need for you to dig it up all the time to remember what happened. Sure, some of the things that happened to us in the past will have had a definite impact, but reliving them all the time will only cause you to slow down or even stop on your life’s journey. It is a new day so why live an old life? Too many people try to hang onto their past, intentionally or otherwise, because it gives them an excuse as to why things aren’t working out. If you have past issues then it is about time to put them to rest. It is as easy as deciding that you are not going back there. Just imagine you are going on an overseas trip. You arrive at the check-in counter at the airport and it is time to put your baggage on the weighing machine. Now, all airlines have a set weight that they allocate to each passenger for their luggage. If your bags are overweight then there are two things that can happen. First, they will ask you to take some of the stuff out of your bags to make them lighter and compliant with the weight regulations. And then if that doesn’t work or if you are not prepared to lighten the load, you will be hit with an excess-baggage charge. This is the same with our personal lives. We all need to get rid of some of our excess baggage. If we don’t there will be a cost involved. That cost could be a negative attitude, issues with our mind-set, thinking 143
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and aspirations, or even a slowing down of progress towards goals. So leave your past where it is and move into your future a whole lot lighter and ready to take on your world.
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‘IMPOSSIBLE’ISJUST ANOPINION I am constantly approached by people, whether by email or in person, who come out with the old line, ‘It is impossible for me to get to where I want to go in life’. I find that so sad. They have all but given up, in their heads, attempting to reach all that they desire. The difference between people who have achieved their goals and people who haven’t is that successful people see the ‘impossible’ as possible. You see, ‘impossible’ really is just an opinion. There is nothing set in stone to say that you will never achieve. It is all up to you. Now, from the outside you might look at what you are wanting to do and not be able to see a clear path or direction, but it is all about looking at your journey from various angles. I always think and operate from outside the square. That way I am able to approach things in a new and fresh way. Just because, on the outside, it looks as though it will be impossible right now for you to start that business, 145
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get that promotion, go on that holiday or even buy that new car, it is all up to whether you surrender yourself to that line of thinking or whether you just ignore it and achieve everything in spite of it. We all need to be striving for excellence on a daily basis. Sadly, there are a lot of people who just sit back and wait for whatever comes their way. In the Olympics or any other sporting competition, I am yet to see an athlete interviewed by the media who, when asked what result they would be happy with, answers ‘second place’. They all go out there to win. Now obviously there is only one winner in every race, but it is their attitude and focus before the race and when they are lining up on the starting line that is the important thing. Be aware, also, that not everything is going to work out as planned. The key to continually getting back on your path is never allowing your setbacks to infiltrate your thinking. Always see yourself achieving those goals and dreams that you have. If you fall short, at least you are closer now to those goals than you were before you started. I remember going through school watching the ‘in crowd’ making fun of those who would rather study than play up. It would be interesting to find out where they are today. If only they saw that wanting to excel was a good thing. The whole area of excellence is one that needs to be addressed by all of us every day with regard to our own journey. Good is good but better is a lot better. 146
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There still seems to be a few people who think that they will be able to achieve all that they desire by staying the same and refusing to change. You need to remember that you should never stop learning, you should never stop growing, and you should never think that you have made it and there is nothing more for you to achieve. I want to be better every day. By wanting that, I am making a conscious decision that I am going to try new things, learn new things and maybe even get rid of some of my old attitudes or actions that are keeping me back. Being excellent is a choice, but then again so is being mediocre!
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DON’TJUSTDO SOMETHING . . . SITTHERE! I have to admit that this is the title of one of my father’s books, but as we are related I thought I would use it as well as it is such a great statement. Today we live in a world that is go, go, go. The problem with that is we are constantly on the move and we sometimes forget to take a breath. Many of us are trying so hard to reach those goals that we have set for ourselves that we tend to focus solely on doing instead of being. By that, I mean we need to enjoy every part of the journey and not for a minute think that we have to wait until we ‘have it all’ in order to be happy. The amount of people who sit in front of me on the brink of a breakdown is amazing. They have been working so hard to get to their perceived level of happiness that they haven’t realised that they may already be there. If only we all once in a while stop 148
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Don’t just do something . . . sit there!
and take a break . . . Just imagine how fresh you will be for that next step. I have myself been guilty of being a workaholic every now and then (my wife would say all the time, mind you), but I have had to train myself to bring it back a notch so that I don’t overdo things and become useless to myself and to what I am trying to achieve. There are no prizes for getting there the fastest. Sure, it is great if you achieve all that you desire sooner, but what is the point if you are too exhausted to enjoy it? So how do you stop yourself from working too much yet still enjoy the spoils of your hard work? Well, what a lot of people don’t realise is that they could be doing themselves, their loved ones and their desired outcomes a huge disservice by focusing too much on what they want to reach. Let me put it this way. Have you ever had a friend who was going through either a personal or business dilemma who asked for your advice? You look at their situation and, in no time, come up with either a solution or a way to elevate their situation. The reason you can do this is because you are looking from outside their situation. You have a different perspective which enables you to give fresh eyes to their situation. That is the same principle that you need to apply to your own life. When you stop and take a rest from the daily pressures that you put on yourself and you switch your head off to all that has been consuming your thoughts, you give yourself the opportunity to see with new eyes the position you are in and how you can approach your journey a different, and maybe better, way. 149
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Now, I never thought that I would hear the following words come out of my mouth, but we all need to stop and enjoy a sunset or nature occasionally, just to appreciate the things around us. Sure it would be great to have $1 million in the bank, but you would be surprised to see how the simple things that surround us each day can bring a level of happiness to our lives if only we stop to appreciate them. As I am writing this I am sitting in Bali. After speaking 34 times in the last 30 days I decided to take some of my own advice, and so I came away with my wife and two of our closest friends just to chill out. I cannot tell you how much difference five days has made in my life. I haven’t done a thing. But as my time is nearing the end here I am seeing things differently. Now I am not suggesting that you all need to go to Bali, but why not turn that mobile phone off one day each weekend? Why not spend time with your close friends and family and just enjoy what your life is right now? You know, I realise that many of you are probably saying, but I am nowhere near where I want to be in my life yet. That may be the case, but it is still extremely important to enjoy the journey. Just look at it this way. What if today was the last day you had to enjoy your life? What would you see as the most important thing—your quest for success or those who you live your life with?
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BACKFROMTHEBRINK
This chapter is for all of those people who are in a position where they can’t see the forest for the trees. By that, I mean those who are so overwhelmed by their current situation that they cannot see any possible way out. I know exactly where you are at right now. I, too, was once at a point where everything was going wrong for me, where I had no money and nothing I tried seemed to change anything. But what I decided one day was that I had had enough of being in that situation (mind you, I put myself there in the first place) and I was determined to get myself out of it. The first thing I had to do was admit to myself that I was in a predicament and I was over my head. While to some this may seem like commonsense, when you are in that situation sometimes you can spend all of your time trying to convince yourself that everything is fine. So much so that sometimes you can actually start believing that things are fine. Then reality hits and you see the real situation, which is far from good. 151
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When I realised that it was time to make drastic changes I really set my heart and soul to changing my situation. I realised that I needed to make changes and stop going about life the same way that I had always done, otherwise nothing would have changed. I realised that my thinking, attitudes and actions were to blame for me being in that situation. I was amazed at how differently I started to see my life. It is amazing that our focus sometimes tends to be on the bad or negative things in our lives instead of the positive. That seemingly simple change was the catalyst to me making the first and most important step to getting myself back on track. I know someone who, as a result of personal decisions and listening to the wrong people (they call themselves ‘experts’), has ended up in a less than perfect situation in his business and personal finances. Now it has to be said the advice he was given was nowhere near correct, but he trusted in it and subsequently ended up in a bit of bother. Over the last few months I have been working with him to get him back on track. It is amazing that, while there might be many glaring issues that could be fixed and rectified, the most amount of work we have done together has been on head stuff. You see, he has become so engrossed in the enormity of his situation that he has allowed that to affect his thinking, which in turn affects his actions. Now it has to be said that, just because one day you decide to change your attitudes and thinking towards your current situation, it does not mean that 152
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everything will be peachy the next day. It will take time and effort, but the effort will be worth it when you start getting positive results instead of negative ones. Along with a change in attitude and thinking comes a change in actions. Unless we act in a different way than before, our outcomes may still be the same. Now I am not for a minute suggesting that you should act like someone else or think that by wearing a suit you will be an instant success. What I am saying is that, in the past if you reacted a certain way to something bad happening, then you need to react differently now so that your reactions (or actions) don’t send you spiralling down the same negative path. I guess, for me, I got to a stage where I was sick and tired of being in a certain situation. I just got fed up and I realised that I needed things to change, and the only thing I could see that I had total control over was myself. Sure, there were other exterior things that added to my predicament, but I couldn’t control them. So why not take control over your situation and over yourself, and make the first step to bouncing back from the brink. You know what the worst-case scenario will be? Nothing will change! You know what the best-case scenario will be? Everything will change for the better! Just don’t expect everything to change overnight, and keep pressing forward.
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PREPAREPROPERLY
When it comes to success, preparation is the key. Too many people fail to prepare and they seem to think that success will just happen to them. While that is a great thought, the reality is that it will probably never happen; if it did that success would not last very long. It all comes down to having a plan of attack. Now some people have written their goals down but others just know where they want to go in life. I am not going to get into what is right and what is wrong here, but what I do want to say is that, unless you have something to aim at, how will you know if you actually get there? Recently I was away with one of my mates, Mal, who just loves getting up early every morning and doing laps in the pool. He convinced me to come down with him one morning. He took great pleasure in telling me all about his routine for preparing for his morning swim. He told me that each night he packs his goggles and flippers so that he is ready for the following morning. 154
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Prepare properly
The next morning arrived and he dragged me out of bed, and we went down to the pool. As we were getting ready to get into the pool he opened his bag only to find that he had picked up the wrong one, so instead of his flippers he had his joggers. I have to say that I found the mental image of him swimming in these shoes quite amusing, but it did make me think . . . How many people go through life using the wrong tools or methods trying to get ahead? Now I have to say that Mal didn’t use those shoes as flippers that morning; he just swam without them. But I have met many people who, figuratively speaking, constantly use the wrong things to get ahead. They constantly try to find short cuts or they get advice from the wrong people, or they just jump all in without thinking or preparing at all in their desire to get ahead as soon as possible. The problem with short cuts is that if you miss important ingredients and lessons in life, at some point in time you may find you need them and that you have inadvertently put your success at risk. On the other hand, there are many people I have met who overprepare for their journey. They try and figure everything out to the smallest detail BEFORE they will attempt anything. The problem here is that no one knows what will happen in life for certain, especially when it comes to success. That being the case, you will never be able to work everything out. I recently sat next to someone on a plane who told me they were planning on starting a business. This interested me as I am constantly assisting people in 155
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this situation and as I had a long flight I thought that it would be a great way to kill some time. After a long period of time listening to this person it became quite clear that he was trying so hard to work out what may go wrong that he wasn’t allowing any time for things to go right. I asked him when he was thinking about starting. He looked at me with a straight face and said, ‘When I can guarantee that nothing will go wrong’. Wouldn’t we all love to have success guaranteed for us? The reality is that that will never happen. You do, however, need to prepare as much as you can and then start the journey. So remember to prepare. Don’t overlook the preparation process as it may be the deciding factor to success or failure. Sure, take your time so that you ensure that you are heading in the direction that you want to go, but don’t take so long that you end up giving up before you have even started.
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MINIMUMEXPECTATION
Setting personal standards and guidelines would have to be the best way to ensure you keep yourself on track in life. The last thing you want is to be far away from where you originally planned to be. This article is all about the M.E. principle. What is M.E., I hear you ask? It is Minimum Expectation. We all need to ensure we place minimum expectations upon ourselves. By that I mean, in order to stay on track, we need to set certain fundamental guidelines in place to ensure we don’t go backwards. Now the trick here is to make sure you don’t set your own personal expectations so high that you will never reach them, as that is a sure way for you to just give up as you have put unnecessary pressure on yourself. What you do need to do is come up with a personal value system that you promise to stick to, even when times get tough. It constantly amazes me how many people don’t have a personal value system in their lives. They end 157
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up being like a piece of paper tossed around in the wind, going wherever the wind blows them with no control over choice as to where they go. People who have no personal values in their lives are at the mercy of their circumstances. I also am surprised at the amount of people who apply other people’s values (or lack of) to their lives, and end up wondering why things never seem to work out for them or why they are constantly frustrated with where they are at in life. Value-based decision-making would be the best form of decision-making. It takes you away from whatever feels good at the time to what is best for you in the long run, based upon the minimum expectations that you have set for yourself. This, combined with the values that you have set for yourself, is a great recipe for success in life. Once you set minimum expectations for your life, you know when you are getting close to crossing that line. The problem with a lot of people is that there is no line in the sand so they don’t realise how far they are from where they would like to be. Those who set minimum expectations are streets ahead. Every now and then I get approached with offers and opportunities, and I have to say that a lot of them sound and look great, but after evaluating them against the values and the minimum expectations that I have set myself, I often turn them down. Do I feel happy about that? No, but I would rather get ahead and be happy with myself than end up further behind due to a flippant decision that was based on compromising my standards and values. 158
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To be honest, while you may think that compromising your values may get you there quicker, all you are doing is setting yourself up for huge problems in the future. So make sure you follow your own personal minimum standards and values. Sure, it may be tough sometimes, but when you stick to your guns and stay on the right path you’ll watch your life heading in the direction you have always wanted it to go.
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THEGRASSISALWAYS GREENER. . . Now I have to say upfront that I can’t stand gardening. (I’m saying this for the benefit of my wife as I know she will read this.) A little while back we moved into our new home, and over the following months other houses were built and more people moved into our street. I have noticed over time the gardens of each of the houses in the street starting to take shape. As my brother is a landscaper, I asked that he design something for us that was low maintenance so I wouldn’t be stuck in the garden each week. Some of the other houses, however, have spectacular gardens. I watch some of my neighbours tending their lawns and their gardens every week. There is one person in my street in particular (who shall remain nameless) who puts the rest of us to shame with his devotion to his garden. My wife makes comments every now and then that I should get more interested in our garden, but I have to say that it really doesn’t float my boat. 160
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The grass is always greener . . .
The point (other than reaffirming my position with my wife) is to show you that, if you want to experience great results, you need to put the time and effort into the preparation and maintenance of the goal you are aiming for. Just like the gardens and lawns in my street, if you get out there, get your hands dirty and understand that the investment of time is a crucial factor, the results will speak for themselves. A lot of people just expect their desires to materialise in front of their faces. But just because you desire something does not mean that it will become a reality. We all need to take a close look at our motivation, or the reason why we do things. Now I could be motivated to make my garden and lawns look good, but if it is just to keep up with my neighbours the results will reflect this and start to suffer after a little while. I need to want to do it for myself, otherwise I am only paying lip service in my commitment. First of all you must sincerely want what you want. Then, and only then, are you motivated to go on and reach that desire. I believe that motivation comes in two forms. You can be motivated towards something, and that is what you will gain, or you can be motivated away from something, and that is what you will lose. Let’s have a look at the two different directions of motivation: 1. Motivation: toward. If you are motivated by what you will gain you will find it easy to look ahead and see yourself reaching that goal. You’ll grab every opportunity that will take you closer, you’ll respond 161
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to people’s compliments. You’ll be in control of your life. You’ll want what you visualise more than anything, and you’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Every decision that you make will revolve around whether you will get closer to your goal or desires and not further away. 2. Motivation: away. If you are motivated by what you will lose, you will focus on what you want to avoid. For example, you want to avoid dying early, you want to avoid financial difficulty or you want to avoid gasping for breath when you climb a flight of stairs. You don’t want any of those things to happen, so much so that you will do whatever it takes to avoid these things. If you ask these types of people what they want for dinner, they’ll tell you they don’t want Chinese, or pizza. If you ask them what they are going to do to reach a level of prosperity in their life, they will quickly tell you want they don’t want to do to get there. It can be difficult to get someone of this mindset to actually say what they do want! So what is it that you want? Just like my neighbours and their gardens, what are you willing to do to get the outcomes and results that you want or need?
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SO,WHATNOW? Well, you have made it to the end of the book in one piece. I trust you have got a lot out of what you have read and I hope you apply many of the principles in your life. I am not for a minute thinking that you should now be a changed person, but I sincerely believe that if you constantly work on the areas that you have identified within yourself as you have read this book, you will start to see some amazing results. Life is full of ups and downs. Not everything will work out the way you originally planned or hoped. That being the case, ensure that when things do go a bit wrong, you will get back up and try again. Giving up does nothing other than cause you to stagnate. Remember, your problems or issues in life are not a full stop. They are more like a comma, so take a breath and start again. It is not the end of the world. Make sure you learn from your mistakes and make sure you put 100 per cent into the effort needed. Too many people give up too early, which is a real shame as they will never fulfil their potential that way. 163
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The only thing that I ask of you is that you pass on to others the benefits of your experiences. You see, if we show others and assist them with their journey, we all can move ahead and together we can live our lives to the best of our abilities. I wish you all the best and I cannot wait to hear from you all as to how you are progressing through your journey and how this book may have assisted. Justin Herald
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THEPROSPERITYFOR APURPOSEPROJECT Raising future leaders. You can make a difference! We all want success and prosperity in our own lives, but we all also need to understand that we all can make a difference in other people’s lives along the way. My wife and I personally support the work of the Watoto Child Care Ministries in the East African nation of Uganda. That is why I have set up the Prosperity for a Purpose project. It is my aim to make a bigger impact by involving more people. Today, Watoto is impacting the lives of more than 1400 orphans by providing physical, emotional and educational care to Uganda’s most vulnerable children —the next generation.
So how can you help? Uganda has endured the scourge of civil war as well as the deadly AIDS epidemic. Approximately 1.7 million 165
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children in Uganda alone have been orphaned by these calamities. According to the United Nations, there are currently 940 000 Ugandan children living as orphans as a result of their parents dying of AIDS. With your help, we all can provide some stability and a future for these children. So, how exactly will your money help and how much do you need to give? Unlike other organisations, I am only asking you to commit to a minimum of $120 a year. That’s right, just $0.33 a day. Now, if you want to give more, then I encourage you to do so, but I want to make this easy for everyone. With your contribution, together we will build homes and orphanages to provide shelter for the most desperate children. Children between the ages of two and twelve years are accepted into the program and remain part of their new family for life. It is my goal that Prosperity for a Purpose will build at least one home for eight orphans and a widowed mother each month. For only AUD$19 000, houses are constructed which accommodate eight children and a ‘house mother’. The houses consist of three bedrooms, a kitchen, a living area and a bathroom, and have running water and power. These aren’t shacks. I want us to build houses that are beyond their expectations. The Watoto children’s villages include clusters of these homes, a school, a water project and a medical clinic. I personally challenge you to commit to the minimum amount of $120 per year, commit to giving more, or get together with friends or colleagues to 166
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The prosperity for a purpose project
build a complete Watoto home. Alternatively, you can commit to a monthly amount to support this worthwhile and urgent cause. To become involved in this cause, please go to www.prosperityforapurpose.com for more details, or write to me at: Prosperity for a Purpose PO Box 6741 Baulkham Hills NSW 2153 Thank you, Justin Herald
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ALSOBYJUSTIN HERALD Books Would you like attitude with that? What are you waiting for? It’s all a matter of Attitude How to grow your business without spending a single cent Prosperity on Purpose (All available at www.justinherald.com) CDs Personal Peak Performance (4 CD series) Principals of Prosperity (3 CD series) How to grow your business without spending a single cent (3 CD Series) The 5 senses of an entrepreneur (3 CD series) The Ultimate Business Success Series (7 CD series) For the Young Network Marketing Entrepreneur (All available from www.justinherald.com)
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Also by Justin Herald
DVDs Impossible is possible The psychology of success
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