Don't Ask, Don't Tell

DON ’T ASK, DON ’T TELL …Neal’s lips covered his, nibbling his way inside, teasing with the tip of his tongue. Elliott...

Author: Stevens Cassie

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DON ’T ASK, DON ’T TELL

…Neal’s lips covered his, nibbling his way inside, teasing with the tip of his tongue. Elliott smothered a groan and deepened the kiss. Tongues glided in a kiss that melted the years away and stoked the fire burning in his balls. Neal wedged Elliott against the counter and ground his pelvis into Elliott’s. He was more aggressive than Elliott remembered. Just as hungry to have Elliott as Elliott was to have him? His heart raced. His cock threatened to burst the zipper. Elliott tugged up Neal’s shirt and clawed his hand over hard ridges of muscles that hadn’t been there before, until he reached Neal’s nipple. He pinched the hard nub and twirled it between his thumb and forefinger. Neal grunted and thrust again, harder this time, like he intended to fuck Elliott right through their jeans. Neal ended the kiss on a loud smack and dragged his mouth down the column of Elliott’s throat. “You taste so…mmm…” Determined fingers opened Elliott’s fly button, slid his zipper open, and dove inside. Elliott’s cock leaped into Neal’s grip. He clamped his hand over Neal’s wrist. “Someone might see.” “I don’t care.” A hard kiss covered Elliott’s mouth. Hell, he didn’t care either. He rocked into Neal’s hand, desperate for more, more, more of the man he’d been denied all these years. He yanked

his lips from Neal’s. He forced his hands between them, forced himself to push against the unyielding wall of Neal’s chest. “We have to care. After all this time, after all we’ve sacrificed to reach this point…” Elliott couldn’t say anymore. He wanted Neal so badly. Yeah, he’d give up everything to have him one last time…

ALSO BY C ASSIE S TEVENS Model Behavior Secret Lovers The Things We Do For Love

DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL BY CASSIE STEVENS

AMBER Q UILL PRESS, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com

DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL AN AMBER QUILL PRESS BOOK This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. Amber Quill Press, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. Copyright © 2008 by Cassie Stevens ISBN 978-1-60272-231-6 Cover Art © 2008 Trace Edward Zaber

Layout and Formatting provided by: Elemental Alchemy

PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL

CHAPTER 1 Funny how the past could sneak up on a guy when he least expected it. Funnier still how all the emotions that came with it could be dredged to the surface with a single glance. Elliott Baldwin leaned closer to the giant bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and prayed his fellow officers couldn’t see the erection swelling his jeans. But his eyes remained riveted to the big screen plasma TV and the smiling face emblazoned over it. The face of the man he’d once loved…would always love—Neal Cassidy. Elliott stuffed his mouth full of popcorn, chewing slowly, trying to swallow past a throat gone dry. The guys around him were bullshitting about something—probably politics, maybe 1


the upcoming football game. The conversation came to him from a distance, as if he were under water. All he could hear was Neal’s voice against his ear. “I love you more than life itself.” He choked up at the memory of those words and blinked his eyes against a rush of tears. They’d been young, idealistic…stupid, as their fathers would say—did say. Elliott’s father wouldn’t talk to him until after he finished Officer Candidate School, figuring the Marine Corps had worked that out of Elliott’s system. His mother said nothing about it to him, though Elliott understood from his sister that she often wondered where she’d gone wrong “to have Elliott turn out that way.” At least his brother and sister were supportive, even if they admitted they didn’t exactly understand. They wanted him happy. It was an elusive emotion at best. Judging from the path Neal’s life had taken, Elliott had no doubt Neal’s father not only talked to him, but also still controlled those strings upon which Neal dangled. He wondered, not for the first time, if they could have made it if either of them had been any stronger, more mature, more worldly. Neither of them would have had the careers chosen for them if they had. Neal might have afforded law school with the help of his mother’s family, but Elliott wouldn’t have without student loans and working two jobs. He didn’t have a problem with that, but his brother and sister sure wouldn’t have been able to get their masters degrees without the Cassidy legacy from 2


Elliott’s “escapade,” as his sister called it. But then, would that have mattered if he and Neal were together, if they’d been allowed—if they’d fought for—the undying love they’d professed to each other? Wouldn’t they have found a way to make it work, to have it all? Now, yes. Then, he doubted it. God, Neal looked great. The camera had always loved the man. Neal’s father’s goal was clear—his son in the White House. Neal had been put on the fast-track early on. Gaining a seat in Congress would put him in line for the ultimate prize. Though his smile was bright, his wave to supporters and constituents big, Elliott couldn’t see the joy reflected anywhere in Neal’s light brown eyes. Determination was there, but no joy. Not even when he looked at the future trophy wife constantly at his side, or curled those long fingers around her shoulder. It made Elliott want to wrap his arms around the man and give him sanctuary. It made him crave to have Neal’s nimble fingers caressing his body as they had all those years ago. He gave a silent laugh. That would be a career buster for both of them. Elliott wasn’t sure he cared anymore. The Marine Corps had been good for him, more or less. But he hated the subterfuge, hated not being able to live how he wanted, of having to hide all the time. Someone had to suspect something when he quietly rebuffed attempts to hook him up with the latest friend/sister/cousin. If anyone was suspicious, the whole policy of don’t-ask-don’t-tell kept them silent on any speculations. 3


Elliott was grateful they left him alone. It eased the pressure of trying to fit in. Oh, he tried the female dating thing. Most of the women he’d met were very nice, but anything further than dinner or a drink wasn’t going to happen. He had his friendships, his work, his family—his father chalked up Elliott’s college affair with Neal as a rebellious phase and entertained no further discussion. A nice life…a lonely one, despite its richness. Seeing Neal splashed over the big screen reminded Elliott of just how lonely. He was tired of vacation liaisons and hook-ups at bars. He wanted someone. No…he wanted Neal. He remembered their first kiss and how he’d lost himself in the wonder of it. The first time they’d made love, hot hands roaming over each other, desperate to come, to please. They’d both been shaking with a combination of lust and fear. He remembered how well they fit together. The taste of Neal on his tongue. The molten heat of Neal’s mouth around him. The way they’d clutch each other and thrust, their cocks so hot they felt on fire. They’d been so skinny then. It looked like Neal had filled out as well as Elliott. The press indicated the man worked out, ran five miles a day. He’d love to feel those muscles moving in tandem with his own. To trace them with his fingers and tongue. To drown in the taste of Neal’s skin. Elliott’s heart clenched. His cock throbbed and he knew he was leaking pre-cum. How was he going to explain that spot on his jeans? Maybe if he dropped salsa… He grabbed a taco chip and scooped up a healthy portion 4


of salsa. Now all he had to do was hit his jeans and not the carpet. Patty Carter was pretty laid back about everything, especially the Marines crowding the Carter house, but he hated leaving a mess. He leaned back, searching for that perfect angle without revealing his predicament. “Here.” Elliott jumped at the sound of Patty’s voice so near him. His start jerked the chip out of his hand. It landed right where he needed it. She whipped a napkin over his lap—over his erection—with the flick of her wrist. “Th-thanks. Sorry.” He balled the napkin over the salsa and blotted, smearing it over his jeans more than he presumably cleaned. “No problem. Happens more often than you might think.” Elliott glanced up at her soft smile. Did she mean the spill or the erection? The sympathetic hand she placed on his shoulder didn’t help answer the question. “Whoa! What the fuck?” someone shouted. “I did not see that coming.” Elliott snapped his attention back toward the TV, wondering if he’d missed the start of the ballgame. Dread crawled down his spine, straight to his balls. His erection deflated. There on flat screen, high-def-see-every-zit-TV was a candid shot of him and Neal—naked on the beach and fully…involved. The picture that had ruined everything and pitted two young men against forces they couldn’t beat— society and parental dictates. Within thirty seconds his cell phone shuddered in his jeans 5


pocket. Elliott sat frozen, unable to answer, while he waited for all hell to break loose. Conversation ping-ponged around him. “Oh, my God…he’s gay?” “Are you sure that’s him. I can’t believe it.” “It’s him all right. But that’s no guy with him. Looks like a skinny chick to me.” “Hey…” Ken Bullock smacked Elliott’s bicep with the back of his hand. Elliott tensed, waiting for the attack sure to happen. “You gonna answer that?” He pointed to Elliott’s buzzing phone. “You’re starting to remind me of my last girlfriend and her toy.” “Only better looking,” someone snorted. That brought out howls of laughter. Elliott plucked his phone from his pocket. “How the hell can I hear anything with you guys around?” He glanced at the display and felt more dread crawl down his spine. Dad. The shock must have registered on his face. Elliott felt Patty’s hand on his shoulder and glanced up to her worried frown. “You can take the call in our room if you like. Henry and I won’t mind. It’s quiet, and you’ll have some privacy.” Before he could thank her, the call disconnected, only to be replaced by another call seconds later—this time his older brother. He punched the talk key, muttered, “Just a sec,” and followed Patty down the hall. Once behind closed doors, he finally felt safe enough to speak. 6


“I presume you saw.” “I did,” his brother replied. “What the hell, El?” “I don’t know.” But he did. Someone wanted to knock Neal out of the race for Congress and they weren’t afraid of taking others down with him. “Do you suppose his father had something to do with this? I swear if he did, I’ll—” The sentence went unfinished. There wasn’t anything to do. “He’d have too much to lose. You know that.” “Where are you now?” Wayne asked. Elliott gave a humorless laugh. “Getting ready to watch the game with some of the guys from work.” “Shit.” Elliott could almost see Wayne scrubbing his hand down his face. He was a lucky guy, having siblings this supportive. Elliott didn’t know what he would have done if Wayne and Sally had shut him out. “Yeah…but thank God for having extra long hair and being scrawny.” “Good…it’s only a matter of time before the truth comes out. You know how the press gets when they have a story.” “I know.” It wasn’t like he didn’t have options outside the Marine Corps. He was a lawyer and could find work somewhere. He had money set aside so he’d be fine while he searched. But Neal—sensitive, sweet Neal—they were going to rake him over the coals. That hurt Elliott more than anything else right now. “Hey…we could tell them it’s Sally,” Wayne said. “It’s 7


not a great picture. We all look alike. With the long hair, we could pull it off. She’d go along with it. I’ll call her.” “Then he’ll be accused of having sex with a minor.” Sally had been fifteen at the time. “Oh…yeah. No good. So, what are you going to do?” “I…I don’t know.” Somehow he had to talk to Neal without rousing more suspicion, and he had a pretty good idea of where to catch him alone. He just wasn’t sure of how long it would take him to do so.

8


CHAPTER 2 Neal Cassidy had never known a room to be this quiet. At this point, he wasn’t sure anyone else but him was actually breathing. The den’s dark paneling felt like it was closing in on them, accentuating the tension. God only knew what was going through their minds, although it wasn’t hard to guess his father’s reaction. The candid photo was Darren Cassidy’s own doing—a product of the private investigator he’d hired to watch Neal all those years ago. All pictures and negatives were supposedly destroyed. His father had paid a small fortune to see it was done. Obviously…it wasn’t. No real surprise there, except the fact his father actually believed his money bought all. Neal hoped the shock gave him an 9


aneurysm…a fatal one. Neal didn’t waste a glance at any of them. His gaze remained locked on the picture. His cock hardened at the memory of that day, that perfect time in Elliott’s arms. Days later it was all gone. His life had been miserable ever since. If only they’d been a little less shell-shocked over the accusations flung their way, a little more confident in their love, a little more experienced in dealing with the barrage of hate…a little braver. Maybe then they would have had a chance at forever. Instead, they’d been knocked down before they could make a joint stand. Darren Cassidy’s money had greased a lot of hands that day—the investigator’s and Elliott’s family when Darren paid college tuition for all three Baldwin siblings. And Neal? He was swept away by the Cassidy vortex known as his father. When he’d finally been able to get his head above water, his focus had been to try to turn a nightmare to his advantage. Now this… Trying to ruin his career was one thing—Neal expected mud-slinging in this hotly contested congressional race. But to attack the one he’d loved, the one person he still dreamed of in his big, lonely bed… Neal wouldn’t let that happen. He was just as capable of using the Cassidy money as his father. Still, it was a grainy shot at best. It was obvious there were two men in the picture. Neal’s face was fairly clear as he braced himself over Elliott. Elliott’s face was more shadowed, his brown hair much longer than he’d presently have it for the Marine Corps. 10


Neal fought a sad smile. It was hard to believe they’d ever been that skinny. Harder still to believe they’d ever been that naïve. Had they gotten together now… “Please tell me that was flat-chested woman.” Arms tucked under her ample bosom, Regina Atherton rocked one crossed leg over the other. Like the men, she’d dressed in a suit…just in case a photo op came up. They hadn’t expected a bombshell like this. No one replied directly to her smart-assed comment. His campaign manager shoved to his feet, jammed his hands deep in his pockets, and started to pace. Jiggling change rattled with every step—an annoying habit in the best of moments, excruciating right now. The man’s action so resembled beating off, hands shaking in his pockets. Neal couldn’t help himself. “That exciting, huh?” he asked, shooting a glance to Bill’s hands. Bill yanked his hands free and balled his fists at his sides. “How dare you?” His face turned three shades of red, then deepened all the more at Regina’s laughter. Bill whipped around and stomped toward her. “Shut up. If you’d been fucking him more—” She lifted her perfect nose up at him, blue eyes cold as ice. “I’m not paid to fuck him, just marry him and play the politician’s wife.” Bill stared at her, eyes black with rage, lip curled in a sneer. “No, we all know who you’re paid to fuck.” Obviously Bill wasn’t too worried about keeping his job at 11


this point, or he was too angry at being blindsided by the media to think straight. The accusation didn’t fall too far from the truth. Neal knew Regina shared his father’s bed. As long as they both left him alone, he could have cared less. No, that wasn’t true. Neal did care. He feared—knew— there was more than sex going on. The bruises Regina tried to hide seemed proof that Darren used her as his punching bag, just like he had Neal’s mother. Neal tried to help Regina, to get her to leave. She turned her nose up at the suggestion every time. Regina got a cushy life. Darren got laid. Maybe if his father was really lucky, he’d score the heir he’d always wanted. Though he’d love to hear the explosion when that announcement was made, Neal couldn’t consciously allow Darren to get his claws into an innocent child. Bill jerked away from the showdown with Regina. “I asked you people a dozen times if there was anything in Neal’s past we needed to worry about. Now I find out through the news media that he’s a fucking queer!” It’d been a long time since Neal had seen his father move that fast. He fisted Bill’s tie and collar in a chokehold. “Those words will not be uttered in my house,” he said through clenched teeth. “Do you understand?” Neal thought Bill was pretty close to pissing himself. Regina tucked into the corner of the sofa, eyes wide. He understood both feelings well and had been on the receiving end of his father’s rage too often in his younger years. They hadn’t seen anything yet. Well…judging from her fear, maybe 12


Regina had. Darren wasn’t picky about who he lashed out at, verbally or physically—something Neal’s mother had learned the hard way. Maybe he’d finally crossed one of those lines Neal had warned Regina about. Bill clawed at Darren’s fingers. His garbled, “Yes,” wasn’t enough to gain him freedom. Neal had had enough. Hell…he’d had enough years ago. Why it’d taken him this long to grow balls… “Let him go…now!” Remarkably, his father did so, then straightened his suit jacket as if he’d been greatly inconvenienced by the episode. He slicked back his unruffled gray-blond hair and reached for the decanter of whiskey on the sidebar. Neal was thankful—not for the first time—that he resembled his maternal grandfather. If he’d had to look in the mirror and see Darren’s face staring back at him… He forced his disgust away. Bill readjusted his tie and turned his back on the room. He stared out the bay window, watching storm clouds pile up in the Los Angeles basin below. It was the perfect parallel to what was happening inside the Cassidy mansion. “The press will be waiting for a response from us,” he said. Neal was damn tired of the manipulation. He’d let it happen too long. It didn’t matter that he’d tried to use it to his advantage, to achieve greater good. Now it had reached out to hurt Elliott, and that was unacceptable. His leather chair sighed as he stood. Regina’s wide blue eyes followed his move, yet darted fearfully to his father. She 13


should leave while she had the chance, but Neal knew she was too greedy to do so. Or maybe it was already too late and she was simply too scared. Neal asked himself why he still cared when she hadn’t. “Tell them we do not respond to personal attacks of any nature,” Neal replied. “Our agenda is the welfare of this nation, and the focus of our campaign and our administration should I be elected will be devoted to that. If the network gave a damn about our response, they would have advised us ahead of time about the content of the release and requested comment. What they’ve done is a clear bias toward other candidates and proves they have little regard for what’s best for the American public. They should be focusing on issues, not dirt.” Bill nodded. “Good. Great spin. I couldn’t have done better myself. I’ll take care of it.” He was halfway to the door when he stopped and spoke over his shoulder. “Is it true?” “Does it matter?” Neal shot back. “Will it make me a lesser man, a poor leader?” “The moral issue—” “No one in this campaign, much less this room, has any right to be talking morals.” Bill’s shoulders sagged a little. “The…uh…other party in the picture.” “Will be protected at all costs. I’ll contact the person myself and assure the individual of that. The identity will not be revealed to you or anyone else. I’m not the only one who has a life here.” And he couldn’t say what he had could be 14


considered a life, no matter how much he’d tried to steer things in a favorable manner. Clearly someone else was still in charge, or thought he was. Neal wondered if that’s what this was about—a warning from his father. An attempt on Darren’s part to bring down what he’d built—a son growing more powerful than he. Neal raised his eyebrow, even though he knew Bill wouldn’t see it. The other two in the room would. “Understood?” “Yeah…loud and clear.” He wasted little time leaving. The ice cubes in Darren’s scotch rattled as the door closed on a soft click. “Leave us,” he snapped. Regina was on her feet a second later. Neal motioned her back down. “I’d prefer she stay.” Maybe something would happen to open her eyes. “Fine.” He smacked the glass onto the bar and poured a second drink. “What the hell happened?” Neal splayed his fingers against his chest. “You’re asking me? That takes balls. This was your game from the beginning. Your investigator. Your blackmail. Your cover-up. Don’t go pointing fingers at me. If things blew up in your face, it’s no one’s fault but your own.” “It’s your face, too, boy. Your career.” “I haven’t been a boy for a long time, Darren.” He hadn’t called him “Dad” or “Father” since the day Darren pushed his mother down the stairs in one of his frequent fits of rage. It was his first act of rebellion…one of many. But the time for subtlety was over. Darren could do what he wanted to Neal, 15


but Neal would be damned if he was taking Elliott down. “And no career is worth lying and whoring myself to you.” Glass shattered against the white marble fireplace. Neal expected no less of his father and prided himself on the fact he didn’t flinch. Regina, however, made the mistake of having a tiny squeak escape. Sensing prey, Darren targeted her. “Upstairs.” He jerked his shaking hand toward the door and stomped her way. “No.” Neal blocked his path. Darren’s blue eyes bulged, the whites flared red and brought out the gray in his blond eyebrows. Neal didn’t give a damn. If he’d stood between Darren and his mom all those years ago… “I’m going to need Regina to come with me. She is presumably my fiancée and, as I’m sure you’re aware, there’s a little damage control that needs to be done on this campaign, thanks to your previous inept duplicity.” God, Neal even sounded like his father. That was fine. He still had his mother’s heart and soul. Darren side-stepped him and walked away. How it must have killed the man to not shove Neal out of his way. Him slamming the heavy oak door to the den didn’t have the same impact, though it did make Regina jump. “You might want to pack an overnight bag,” he told her. “Unless, of course, you’d rather stay and put up with whatever he’s going to dish out.” “It’s not like you gave me a choice.” “We always have a choice, Regina. It’s a matter of being 16


brave enough to make the right choice. Tell me”—he squatted before her, forearms resting on knees—“is what he does to you really worth the money and prestige, even if it pleases your father to think you’re with me?” Tears puddled in her eyes. Neal actually felt sorry for her. He knew what it was like to feel trapped. He took her slender fingers in his. “This is your chance to get out gracefully.” He could see the debate in her eyes and really couldn’t blame her. They hadn’t had the best of relationships, not enemies, but not friends either. “How?” Her lower lip quivered. “By helping to ruin you?” That she seemed to care surprised him. “No one can ruin my life unless I let them do so. Come on.” He tugged her fingers and stood. “I want you to meet someone.” Maybe then she’d realized how much she risked by staying with Darren Cassidy. Neal hoped her family would be there to support her in the aftermath. Phillip Atherton would most likely verbally skewer his daughter for lying to them. Not anymore. Not after today. Everything was about to change. Neal would see to that. She tightened their grip and stretched to her feet. “You realize the press will follow us wherever we go.” Neal grinned. “Oh…I’m counting one hundred percent on that. Make sure you wear something nice and bright so they won’t miss you.” That got her curiosity up and chased away the haunted look in her eyes. “I’m thinking jeans and that red sweater.” 17


Regina cocked her head to one side. “Wow…we are being daring today.” “If we’re going to shock, no sense doing it in half measures.” He steered her toward the door. “Let’s hurry. I don’t want to lose the benefit of the crowd of press choking the front lawn.” In less than fifteen minutes, they were in the foyer, dragging their rolling overnight bags behind them. Everything Neal had in this house was in his bag. He never intended to step through those doors again…unless it was to help Regina finish packing all of her things. Neal was surprised Darren hadn’t challenged them at some point, but his father hadn’t bothered to show his face since he’d stormed from the den. Regina looked the most relaxed he’d ever seen her. She’d pulled her long, black hair into a ponytail, cleaned off ninety percent of her heavy makeup, and wore jeans, sneakers, and the red sweater. He opted for similar attire, choosing a yellow-gold polo shirt sure to help keep him in sight. “Ready?” He wrapped his hand around one of the double door handles. She responded with a single nod and he pulled it open…right behind Bill. His campaign manager whipped around, scowling. Neal ignored him and pressed his hand against Regina’s back, urging her onward. Microphones thrust forward, coming close to whacking their noses. They ignored them all and didn’t bother with a “no comment.” Bill was hot on their heels, making excuses to the press as Neal and Regina strode toward 18


the garage. The reporters never missed a step. It was all Neal could do not to smile. These people were as predictable as Darren and just as bloodthirsty. He pressed the remote on his key fob and the garage door rolled open. The lights on his Lexus flashed as he unlocked the doors. Regina slipped into the front seat. Neal caught Bill’s bicep before the man could duck into the back. Cameras flashed, capturing every moment. “Not you,” Neal told him. “This is one thing you won’t be able to spin.” Bill glared at him, but didn’t budge. Back to the crowd, Neal grinned. “Move away…or I’ll kiss you full on the mouth. That ought to sell some papers, don’t you think?” It definitely got Bill moving—on a beeline back to house. A few reporters followed, but most started to swarm the car. Neal slid behind the wheel, snapped on his seat belt, and started the engine. “Think I should take out a couple as I back out?” Regina laughed. More cameras flashed, capturing the moment. “Or lock them into the garage after you pull out.” “Even better.” Neal twisted around to ease the sedan from the garage. At least the reporters had the sense to move out of the way. Several dashed to their own vehicles to give chase. “Mind me asking where we’re going?” Regina asked. “Santa Barbara.” He made sure he formed the words clearly in the event anyone was reading lips. “My mother’s family as a place on the outskirts.” 19


She screwed up her face in confusion. “We’re going to visit your grandmother?” “We’re going to visit my mother.” “I thought your mother was dead.” He stopped the car, locked his gaze to hers, and pressed the garage remote. “So does everyone else.”

20


CHAPTER 3 Elliott stopped his small truck at the entrance to the Unger property. White rail fence was all that kept the one hundredacre ranch from trespassers. He wondered how much longer they’d be able to keep their privacy if Neal was elected to Congress—if they were even able to keep it now. The Ungers had always managed to keep a low profile, unlike Darren Cassidy, who flaunted his successes and built them into more riches and prestige. There was peace here in these rolling green acres. The mountain backdrop made it feel like a fortress of solitude. It’d been a haven for two young men in love. They’d made love by the small lake hidden by the copse of trees at the far edge of the acreage…and 21


everywhere else they could steal a moment. They’d spend their days working around the ranch, then slip off for a joint shower afterward. Elliott didn’t know if Neal’s grandparents knew about their relationship, or just turned a blind eye to it all. Neal’s mother knew. Elliott could see the knowledge in the soft gaze she’d turn their way when Mary thought they weren’t looking. It seemed she spent more time on the ranch than she did with her husband. Considering how Darren was, Elliott could sure understand that. The man had a cruel streak ten miles wide. And yet, she didn’t hesitate to confront him when Darren lashed out at Neal. Confronted him…and lost, even as she finally gained her freedom from him. He heaved a sigh. Twelve years was a long time, yet it all seemed like yesterday at the moment. Neal’s sobs when he’d called to tell Elliott about his mother’s accident. Elliott’s rush to the hospital, only to be served a restraining order by Darren’s attorneys once he arrived. The end of everything. That last forbidden moment together when he and Neal admitted they couldn’t fight them all. He let the pastoral view wash over him. No horses roamed the fields anymore. Their absence made the place feel a little like a ghost town. With Mary Unger paralyzed, perhaps her parents had decided to let the business go. She was the one who’d worked the horses best. She was their light. Everyone had paid a price that summer. Everyone but Darren Cassidy. Elliott snorted. No…he’d paid, too. His precious money tossed in all different directions to have his way. It’d all come 22


back to haunt him this morning. Sadly, again, others would suffer before Darren did. He started forward once more, following the narrow ribbon of the hard-packed dirt road to the sprawling two-story brick house. Despite the gray day, light still gleamed off pristine windows edged with white framework. Proof of life. He wondered if Mary was still as beautiful, or her if disability had robbed that of her as well. Were her parents still alive? Would they remember him as the scrawny young man who used to race horses with their grandson? Would they send him away if they did? If that happened, he had to make them understand… Understand what? Fuck…what the hell was he even doing here? He’d taken basket leave from work, thanks to his colonel. The time off would never show up on his record. The colonel backed him without any explanation other than he had a personal problem he had to deal with. All for what? A distress call from Neal that Neal hadn’t sent out? What in the hell could he hope to accomplish that Darren’s high-priced attorneys and PR consultants couldn’t? The constant bombardment of Neal’s name and picture everywhere Elliott looked had ripped open the hole in his heart. He’d seized this morning’s revelation as an excuse to make contact, for the sole purpose of seeing him face to face. Just because Elliott had been living a hollow existence didn’t mean Neal was, too. For all Elliott knew, Neal might be perfectly happy with his life. The smart thing would be to turn around and head home. To leave well enough alone and pray there were no further ramifications from the leaked photo. And 23


if there were… Hell, he’d lie about it and say it was a college prank. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d had to twist the truth. After all, he had spent several years as a defense counsel. He pulled onto the apron of concrete before the house to turn around. Before he could do so, the front door swung open and Neal’s grandmother stepped out. Her tiny frame was dwarfed by the oak door, her gray hair whiter than he remembered. She squinted while she tried to puzzle out who he was. Then recognition and joy burst over her face. She said something over her shoulder and hurried his way. Neal couldn’t drive away now. He cut the engine, hopped from the truck, and strode to the porch to meet her. He had to admit the greeting warmed him inside and out. “Land sakes, look at you.” Laura Unger opened her arms for a hug. “I almost didn’t recognize you. Looks like you finally put some meat on those bones.” Neal wrapped his arms around her. “There are times I worry the Marine Corps will think it’s too much meat,” he said with a laugh. She felt fragile, like one hard squeeze would shatter her bones, but her hug back was strong. “Feels like all muscle to me. Can’t go wrong with that. Let me take a closer look at you.” She held him at arm’s length. “Handsome as ever. I like the shorter hair, too.” “Thank you.” She and Mary had always made Elliott feel good about himself. He and Neal could be themselves at this ranch. No worries, only acceptance. “Neal should be here shortly.” She looped her arm through 24


his and led Elliott toward the house. “That’s who I thought it was when I heard you pull up. Of course, I should’ve known better since he said a parade of reporters was following him.” Elliott pulled her to a gentle stop. “Neal’s on his way here with reporters?” Panic raced his heart. Laura blinked aged brown eyes up at him. “Yes. Told me to make sure Mary was prepared. He didn’t want her caught by surprise. He didn’t call you to meet him here?” Elliott shook his head, then managed to say, “No, ma’am. I haven’t talked to Neal since… I came because…well, I don’t know why I came.” She smiled and cupped his cheek. “Looks like Fate’s taken you both in hand. Come on inside.” He was more unsure than ever. If reporters were on the way, him being here wasn’t going to help. Even as he thought that, Elliott glanced down the road at the dust trail headed their way. In seconds he saw a cream-colored sedan leading a line of vehicles and news vans. There was only one way in and out of the ranch. If he left his truck here, reporters would waste little time running his license plate for identification. That and the military sticker on the windshield, background check of schools… “Mind if I park my truck in the barn?” She patted his cheek. “Not at all. It’s empty now. Back door will be open. Just come on in. Made a fresh batch of oatmeal cookies, too. Help yourself. I remember how much you and Neal loved them.” Elliott wasn’t sure he could swallow anything past his dry 25


throat, but he’d choke before he refused her cookies. He thanked her and added a quick hug before he darted to his truck. If he could see their vehicles, Elliott knew they could see his. He hoped they were too focused on Neal to notice. Still, he pulled away like it was nothing, trying not to bring more attention his way by sending up his own dust signature. The barn, with its accompanying stables and paddock, was behind the house and more or less obscured from the road. It didn’t help his mounting tension. Elliott could hear the roar of the convoy coming closer. It rose above the sound of his engine, filtered through the solid white barn long after he’d parked inside and closed the doors. He didn’t waste time thinking about it. Pocketing his keys, Elliott ducked out the side door and strode toward the house. Car doors slammed, the sound reminiscent of gunshots as it echoed between the structures. He trotted the last few yards and wiped his feet on the straw mat by the back door as his fingers wrapped around the knob. He pulled in a breath to calm his racing heart and walked in. The warmth of the brick red kitchen surrounded him. The scent of homebaked cookies drifted his way…so did Neal’s voice. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Elliott pressed into the closed door, body locked in rigid anticipation. He forced himself to move, but got no farther than the island in the center of the big room. He braced against the counter, wondering if it was possible to crush ceramic tile in a white-knuckled grip. Were those footsteps he heard? He 26


didn’t see how he could hear them in a house this large. Maybe he’d only imagined Neal’s voice. Light cast a shadow over the doorway. And then Neal appeared. Elliott’s breath caught. God, he looked magnificent, about a million times better than on TV. He’d filled out, too. Elliott could see the muscles beneath the yellow shirt Neal wore. His torso formed a perfect V down to narrow hips. He longed to wrap his fingers over those hips and anchor Neal’s pelvis to his own. The hard-on swelling his jeans begged him to do so. Neal’s gaze seemed to drink Elliott in, sweeping over him like he couldn’t believe his eyes. They moved at the same time, each daring a step forward. Then another…and another. The spell around them burst and they rushed forward and into each other’s arms. Elliott squeezed his eyes closed and prayed he wasn’t dreaming. No dream could feel this great. The body locked to his was hard, strong, tight…perfect. Neal’s scent awoke more memories, greater need. Elliott felt tears slip from beneath his eyelids. He let them fall, then heard Neal sniffle and felt Neal’s tears against his face. “You shouldn’t have come.” Neal’s voice was raspy, the feel of his breath over Elliott’s ear heaven. “But, God, it feels so good to hold you again. You feel so perfect in my arms. You smell so great.” Neal spanned hot fingers over Elliott’s back, rubbing downward in circles. Elliott didn’t bother being subtle. He cupped his hand over Neal’s butt and tugged him as close as 27


their clothing allowed. Their erections wedged together, hot and hard, separated by denim that now felt like chain mail. “I’m sorry you were dragged into this.” Neal brushed his lips over Elliott’s whisker-rough cheek. “I’ll fight to my last breath to keep you protected.” Elliott stabbed his fingers into Neal’s hair. God! It still feels silky and thick, despite the shorter length. “I’ll…I’ll lie. Tell them it was a college prank. A fraternity gag to freak out the pledges. Anything to protect you.” The last came out on a whispered breath. Neal’s lips were so close, body meshed to Elliott’s like they’d never been parted, never been more perfect. He’d locked Neal to him, head and hips, feeling his own heartbeat in the throb of Neal’s erection. How could Elliott not kiss him? Then Neal’s lips covered his, nibbling his way inside, teasing with the tip of his tongue. Elliott smothered a groan and deepened the kiss. Tongues glided in a kiss that melted the years away and stoked the fire burning in his balls. Neal wedged Elliott against the counter and ground his pelvis into Elliott’s. He was more aggressive than Elliott remembered. Just as hungry to have Elliott as Elliott was to have him? His heart raced. His cock threatened to burst the zipper. Elliott tugged up Neal’s shirt and clawed his hand over hard ridges of muscles that hadn’t been there before, until he reached Neal’s nipple. He pinched the hard nub and twirled it between his thumb and forefinger. Neal grunted and thrust again, harder this time, like he intended to fuck Elliott right 28


through their jeans. Neal ended the kiss on a loud smack and dragged his mouth down the column of Elliott’s throat. “You taste so…mmm…” Determined fingers opened Elliott’s fly button, slid his zipper open, and dove inside. Elliott’s cock leaped into Neal’s grip. He clamped his hand over Neal’s wrist. “Someone might see.” “I don’t care.” A hard kiss covered Elliott’s mouth. Hell, he didn’t care either. He rocked into Neal’s hand, desperate for more, more, more of the man he’d been denied all these years. He yanked his lips from Neal’s. He forced his hands between them, forced himself to push against the unyielding wall of Neal’s chest. “We have to care. After all this time, after all we’ve sacrificed to reach this point…” Elliott couldn’t say anymore. He wanted Neal so badly. Yeah, he’d give up everything to have him one last time. Neal shoved him back on a frustrated growl, grabbed his hand, and pulled him to the adjacent laundry room. Neal reached the door a half step before Elliott, whipping it open an instant later. Neal flicked the lights on. Elliott locked the door…and got no further. Neal pressed him against the wall, lips devouring Elliott’s, hands yanking Elliott’s jeans and shorts away from Neal’s goal. Elliott fumbled for Neal’s zipper, but Neal ducked the attempt and knelt before him as he tugged Elliott’s clothing down. Neal licked his lips at the first sight of Elliott’s cock 29


falling free. The sight was almost enough to make Elliott come. “No.” Lust made his voice hoarse. Neal looked up, confusion clouding his eyes. Elliott hauled his shirt off, then fisted Neal’s and pulled it away, too. “I need to hold you,” he said. “I need to feel you against me. Us coming together.” Neal snapped upright, shoving his jeans down his hips as he did so. Hands clasped asses at the same time. Lips nestled together and stiffened as their erections wedged between them. They shuddered with every breath they took. Elliott slid his tongue over Neal’s and rocked into him. Neal’s groan wiggled through him and he pushed back. There was no taking this slow. He jerked his lips from Neal’s, clenched his jaw, and thrust into the sweet log of flesh. Neal’s fingernails bit into Elliott’s butt, urging him to go faster as Neal’s cock rubbed wildly into his. The heat, the friction…the love. They tensed at the same time, heads tossed back in a grimace of animalistic pleasure. Then hot cum spurted over their stomachs. More thrusts smeared a second jet over the first. Neal captured his lips, thrashing his tongue around Elliott’s as a third spurt topped the orgasm. Elliott feathered his hands over Neal’s shoulders, back, and ass. “All I want to do is crawl under the covers with you for the rest of my life.” “I know. Me, too.” Neal kissed him once more. “But…” But the real world existed beyond the door they’d just locked, and they were going to have to face it soon. 30


CHAPTER 4 Neal wondered if he’d ever stop shaking, if maybe he was just dreaming, but no dream had ever been this vivid. He could smell Elliott, feel him, and—God!—want him. He still couldn’t believe Elliott was here, standing in front of him. Living, breathing, flesh, blood, and… “My God…I’ve missed you.” He traced Elliott’s cheek, the bow of his mouth, the curve of his jaw. Their torsos were welded together by the cum adhering to them. “You’re here.” His smile faded to a frown. Neal couldn’t help the confusion. “Are you nuts?” Elliott laughed and hugged him. “Probably. When I saw the picture…” He shrugged and pulled away to look at Neal. 31


“All I could think about was getting to you, protecting you from being attacked.” How could he not love a guy like this? Elliott always did try to stand between Neal and the vagaries of the world. Neal had teased him once about Elliott being his knight in shining armor. It was a title that fit well. Neal smiled and kissed him. “That’s about how I felt when I found out. They could take me down all they wanted, but they’d better not touch you.” “I meant what I said.” Elliott squeezed Neal’s shoulder. “I’ll lie until I’m blue in the face, swear on a stack of holy books from every religion—” Neal wrapped his hand over Elliott’s. “I’m going to see it doesn’t come to that. I want you protected at all costs. They want a story? I’ll give them a story that’ll finish all of this crap for good.” Realization widened Elliott’s gaze. “That’s why you brought them here? Neal…you can’t do that. No matter how much you might want to bring your father down—and God knows he deserves it—you can’t put your mother through that.” “Even if she’s willing?” Neal pulled in a breath and moved away, hauling his jeans up as he did. He grabbed a towel from the laundry hamper, handed it to Elliott, then used another to wipe his torso. “She’d jump at the chance to bring him down.” “Why? She hasn’t before and she sure as hell had good cause.” Elliott scrubbed the towel over him and tossed it into the hamper. 32


“She was afraid.” Why were they having this discussion? They hadn’t seen each other for twelve years—years they’d allowed to be taken from them. Elliott was here. That had to mean something. Shouldn’t he be ecstatic over Darren’s downfall? “Afraid of what?” Elliott propped his hands on his slender hips. “What more could he possibly take from her? He took her mobility. He divorced her. This after years of—” Neal snapped his hand up. “Stop.” Elliott sighed. “I’m sorry. I keep seeing her in that hospital bed. I keep remembering how she’d laugh and work the horses. How free she was whenever she was away from him. She might be your mother, but I loved her, too.” Neal cupped his neck and pressed his forehead to Elliott’s. “I know. She loved you, too.” And supported everything he and Elliott were to each other. All she’d wanted was their happiness. “She might be confined to a wheelchair, but her spirit and determination are strong.” Elliott slowly shook his head. “I can’t see the point in dragging her through the muck. Not to help us. Not to topple Darren.” “Not even to save another woman from a similar fate?” They pushed each other at arm’s length at the same time. Neal found himself nodding, even though Elliott hadn’t asked any question. “I’m sure you’ve seen I have a fiancée?” “Yes…Regina Atherton.” Elliott’s mouth tightened. Neal couldn’t see any point in denying the obvious. He didn’t like the arrangement any more than Elliott. But, like 33


with everything else, he’d been swept up and allowed the status quo of his life to continue. “She’s Darren’s mistress. And while she’s definitely an opportunist, she sure as hell doesn’t deserve what I know he’s been dishing out to her. I’m hoping my mother can finally make her see how much danger she’s really in.” Elliott cupped his shoulder. “Why now? What not months ago, a year ago?” He closed his eyes, ashamed of his answer. Neal couldn’t believe he’d allowed it as long as he had. “Because this morning, the final line was crossed. This morning someone tried to hurt you. I may have taken it before, I may have put up with everything since then, but this morning I finally realized what a fool I’ve been. I won’t put up with it anymore. It ends today.” “At what risk to you?” Elliott stroked his thumb over Neal’s neck. Neal leaned into the caress. It felt so good to have him here. So…right. “I don’t care about me.” “But I do.” Elliott gave him a small shake. “And so do the people who support your campaign.” Neal opened his eyes to Elliott’s penetrating gaze. “And how much support do you think I’ll have if it comes out I’m gay?” “Which would seem to imply you still care about the election.” Neal pulled away on a resigned sigh and retrieved their shirts from the floor. “The only thing I’m sure about right this 34


minute is that I care about you. That’s never stopped. I trusted Darren to keep his end of the bargain. This morning I realized he was a liar, in addition to being a manipulative bully.” He watched the flex of Elliott’s muscles as the other man tugged the shirt over his head. His fingers longed to press against Elliott’s chest, thumb his nipples to hardness, taste his skin once more. Elliott smoothed his short hair into place with a flick of his hand. The action tightened Neal’s groin. “I’m the last person to defend Darren,” Elliott said, “but you have no proof he leaked the photo. Speaking as an attorney, you know you have to have evidence to back you up. Don’t let emotion blind you to that. By all means, save Regina if you can. But actions taken in anger won’t get you anywhere…in life or in the political arena. Voters love you for your level-headed focus. Don’t disappoint them.” Neal sagged with the words, but with relief not resignation. Elliott had always been like that—able to calm the waters and see the correct course no matter how personally painful. And he was right now, too. Neal pulled in a steady breath and nodded. Thank God he hadn’t said anything to those reporters when he left the house. But there was that incident in the garage with Bill. One thing at a time. “You’re right.” He added a small laugh. “Do you still like hearing that?” Elliott’s grin lit up Neal’s heart. “Absolutely, but I’ve learned not to gloat. Hubris is a painful thing.” “Tell me about it,” he said with a snicker. 35


They wrapped a hug around each other at the same time. Nothing felt more like home than the haven of Elliott’s embrace. Neal pressed a deep kiss into his mouth. God, he wanted to stay with him like this forever. To drown in the sheets with him. A breath as hard as the erections swelling between them pulled them apart. “Come on…” Elliott clapped him on the back. “We’d better get out of here before we really give those reporters something to talk about.” Ah, yes…the reporters. It’d been an impetuous move on his part, but they would have followed him no matter what. As long as they stayed inside, the reporters would keep their distance, more or less. Once they opened the door, it’d be like throwing meat to a hungry pack of wolves. “I’ll throw them a bone,” he said. “That ought to keep them occupied for a while.” Mischief glinted in Elliott’s eyes. “Well, any bone you gave me would definitely keep me occupied.” He shook his head with his laughter. “I’m sorry. That’s was a very bad pun.” “Yeah…go.” Neal swung the door open, ushered Elliott through…and couldn’t resist cupping his tight ass as he walked by.

36


CHAPTER 5 Elliott liked that their strides still matched each other’s after all this time. He took it as a sign. But their step had changed. It was more confident, like the men behind it. Men this time, not boys. Elliott could feel the testosterone pouring off Neal. Head high, shoulders back, determination tempered with intelligence, respect, and consideration. No wonder people loved him. This was a different Neal than the one he’d fallen in love with. A Neal who had grown and matured. A Neal as well-matched to Elliott as their stride. Regina glanced up as he and Neal walked into what was formerly the dining room, now the Unger living room. Like Neal, she was more striking in person than on camera. Ivory 37


skin highlighted her deep blue eyes and jet black hair. She was also thinner than Elliott had anticipated, a fact Neal’s grandmother must have latched on to since there was a plate of cookies on the maple table before her. And it looked like Laura had also plied her with hot chocolate. How she managed to do all that while he and Neal were going at each other in the laundry room…well, Elliott didn’t want to know the specifics. That blue-eyed gaze glossed over Elliott, then focused on Neal. There wasn’t much expression on her face. Elliott wondered if she’d had it botoxed out, or if she just didn’t care, or if she was so shell-shocked any more feeling would break her. “Sorry to have kept you waiting, Regina,” Neal told her. “I’d like you to meet Elliott Baldwin. Elliott, Regina Atherton.” Posture perfect, she stood and extended her hand to his. Elliott expected some sort of comment from her, but she didn’t say a word, just gave him a hesitant smile. Her handshake was firm, but her hand was small, delicate. Afterward she wrapped her arms around her midriff. Elliott’s gaze dropped to the bruising around one slender wrist before she tugged the sleeves of her red sweater down. “Such a pleasant surprise Elliott showing up out of the blue this way,” Neal’s grandmother said. The joy in her eyes backed up her words. “I guess that intrusive photograph was good for something. Mary will be so happy to see you. Barbara should have her ready by now. Mary does like to look as nice as possible.” 38


Elliott didn’t have a clue who Barbara was; he presumed she was a nurse of some kind. Laura couldn’t have managed on her own or with the help of her regular housekeeper and cook. Mary needed specialized care. “It’ll be a few more minutes, Grandma. I need to do something about the reporters out front first. They’re a little to close for comfort.” Regina snorted. “Odd you didn’t feel that way when they were tailing us here.” “Not odd,” he replied. “Just sad I allowed my anger to lead my actions. But if that impetuosity helps you…” Without another word, he crossed the foyer to the front door. Regina and Elliott followed. Reporters swarmed Neal when the door opened. Microphones were shoved in his face. Questions sounded like one big buzz, no one word distinguishable from the others. Neal raised his arm for silence, a commanding action that sent ripples of want racing over Elliott’s skin. Then the door closed between them. Elliott couldn’t resist the urge to eavesdrop. Apparently neither could Regina. “I know all of you have a job to do”—Neal’s voice was clear and loud, yet not overbearing—“but I ask that you have the consideration to move back to the property entrance out of respect for my mother and grandmother.” “So it’s true?” a woman shouted. “Your mother’s alive?” “I’ve never indicated otherwise, nor have I ever been asked. And before you do…my mother suffered a lifethreatening accident many years ago. Her rehabilitation has 39


been a primary concern. I’ve no wish to drag her into the public eye and cause her undue stress.” “Hmph.” Sweater cuffs fisted, Regina tucked her arms across her chest. “He didn’t seem to mind doing so a couple of hours ago.” “He’s calmed down since then.” “Yeah…amazing what a little fuck will do,” Regina spit out. “That’s what you were doing in there.” She jerked her chin toward the kitchen. “Having a little reunion fuck? Or are you the reason he spends so much time at this place?” Elliott hated making snap judgments about people, but he’d make an exception in Regina’s case. He didn’t like her…at all. At that point, he couldn’t say she was worth Neal’s attempt to protect her. Elliott didn’t trust himself to respond. He was too tempted to grab her by the elbow and drag her in to see Mary alone. Sadly, he had a feeling nothing Mary told Regina would make a difference to the woman. “Why can’t you appreciate what Neal’s trying to do for you?” he finally said. “And what exactly is that? Hours ago he courted the press, leading them here. He said it would give me a graceful way out of…” Her blue eyes swam in unshed tears. Blinking rapidly, she glanced away. Elliott realized fear ruled her emotions. He’d seen it before in his career—women locked in abusive relationships, afraid to leave. Neal had offered her an exit. Now he was standing on the porch chasing away the reporters he’d had follow them. Regina thought he’d lied to her—just as Darren had. 40


“It’ll be all right.” He curled his fingers around her upper arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Neal’s always been a man of his word, a man of high standards. If you didn’t believe that, you wouldn’t have come all this way with him.” Her lips trembled under the semblance of a smile. “True.” In the silence that dropped over them, they heard a reporter shout, “What about that picture, Mr. Cassidy?” Neal’s response was quick. “As Bill Davenport told you all this morning, this campaign does not respond to personal attacks of any nature. We will not engage in mud-slinging and dirty tactics. Our energies are focused on giving the people of California only the best representative for the state. We are shocked and appalled someone has shifted attention away from the serious issues at hand.” “So you’re saying the photo was a fake?” someone shouted. Elliott’s heart pounded while he waited for the answer. “Since we were not given the opportunity to exam it—” “So it could be real?” It sounded close to a screech. “Are you gay, Mr. Cassidy?” Elliott’s heart now raced. He was certain Regina had stopped breathing, though why she’d care either way… Neal’s laughter held no humor. “You know, it never ceases to amaze me. A politician can commit adultery, have one affair after the other, and it’s business as usual. But the mere hint of homosexuality has everyone clutching their pearls and clenching their butt cheeks.” Regina gasped. “Oh…my…God. I can’t believe he just 41


said that.” Neither could Elliott. Neal had just clinched the nomination or lost it for good. It was impossible to tell. “Issues, ladies and gentlemen. Focus on the issues.” “God…he’s impressive. I’ve been standing next to him for months and I never realized that until now.” Regina pulled in a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and locked her gaze onto Elliott’s. “What happened to his mother?” “Darren Cassidy shoved her down the stairs, that’s what!” Laura Unger spit out. “Now that’s something those reporters should know!” Judging from how loud her voice was, Elliott wouldn’t be surprised if they did hear, too. She’d been quiet enough joining him and Regina. Neither of them had noticed her standing there until she’d shouted. She stood mere feet away, small body shaking with rage. The front door opened behind them as Neal slipped inside. “Grandma…” “Enough nonsense.” She sliced her hand through the air. “You think those bruises on your wrists are bad now, young lady? You just wait. You think I’m an old fool who doesn’t realize what going on? Darren Cassidy has no respect for women no matter who they are. Raised his hand to me once. My Robert brought him down for that and good, too. Wasn’t much we could do for Mary. Oh, she knew she shouldn’t stay, but it took her forever to see the light.” She snorted. “Oh, hell, I can’t say she ever saw the light until that day. And then it was too late. And to this day, she still blames herself for being 42


pushed down those stairs.” There was silence outside. Elliott had a feeling it was because the reporters had their ears pressed to the doors and windows, rather than them having done as Neal asked and moved. Neal stepped forward. “She broke her neck in that fall, Regina. It—he—made her a quadriplegic. Then divorced her like she was nothing. Disavowed her like she was some sort of fucked-up Mission:Impossible job. I’m not blind, Regina. I know what he’s doing to you. I’ve tried to get you to understand you’re better than this, that you don’t deserve this. You wouldn’t listen. But this morning…” When she looked away, Neal hooked his finger under her chin and gently pulled up until her eyes were focused on his once more. “You saw the rage. I wanted you to see the result of it. I wanted you to hear it directly from someone who had experienced it firsthand.” “And then you wanted me to run to the press with it to ruin Darren, like he tried to ruin you.” “Yeah.” He gave a small laugh. “I was mad, too. All I want now is for you to be safe. I won’t bring myself down to Darren’s level, no matter how tempting it was to do so hours ago.” He caught her fingers, giving them a tug. “Come…meet my mother.” Regina pulled free. “I don’t think I want to. I’ve…heard enough.” “No.” Neal shook his head. “You need to see, hear it directly from her. I want you to have no doubts.” 43


After what seemed like hours, she finally nodded. Neal steered her toward the double doors leading to what once had been a huge living room. Elliott knew the house would have changed to accommodate Mary’s disability. Having her on the ground floor made sense, and it was extra nice that this room was refurbished for her since it had always been her favorite. The perfect haven. Cozy yet bright. Those had been her words. He’d seen her tucked into a cushy chair reading or perched over cross-stitch. And laughing…always laughing. Neal opened the door to a riot of color—bold jewel-tones, subtle pastels, nothing that matched and yet it all worked. Alive. Inspired. A slap in the face to the circumstances confining her. But Elliott was still unprepared for the sight of that oncevibrant woman strapped into the wheelchair…or the smile that locked exclusively on his face. A smile he readily returned. “Good to see you.” Her voice was as strong as he remembered. “Come sit. Everyone sit.” The sofa and chairs were arranged so Mary would be able to see everyone with little effort. A tall, full-figured woman hovered nearby—clearly Mary’s nurse, judging from her hot pink scrubs. Mary introduced her as Barbara. Despite her quick smile, the woman looked like she could bench-press Elliott’s weight and would protect her patient with the passion of a Bengal tiger. “Let me get a good look at you.” Mary gasped. “More handsome than ever. Catch me up on everything you’ve been 44


doing.” “Mom…” Neal wrapped his hand around hers, pulling his mother’s gaze his way. “Sorry to ignore Regina, dear. Rude of me since we’ve never met. But Elliott—” “I know, Mom. It’s okay—” “Television doesn’t do you justice, Regina.” Her gaze darted toward the draped window. “But they’ll never be convinced of that.” Regina actually blushed as she muttered, “Thank you.” Neal folded her limp hand between this, rubbing her fingers, even though she couldn’t feel it. “Mom, I brought Regina here so you could tell her how things were when you were with Darren.” The light in her eyes faded. “No. There are some things that shouldn’t be told…or asked.” “But, Mom—” “I said no. Let me live what’s left of my life without that man’s shadow darkening it. Regina’s a smart woman. She knows what she has to do.” She flicked her gaze to Regina. “Don’t you, dear?” Regina folded her hands on her lap, stared at the bruises encircling her wrists, then glanced back at Mary. “Yes, ma’am, I do.” “Courage,” Mary added. “I have it…now,” Regina replied. “Good, because I can say from experience that hiding isn’t an option. It doesn’t make you stronger.” Mary looked at Neal, 45


her smile softening her eyes. “And you? Do you have the courage to do the right thing?” Neal turned his palms up. “I don’t even know what the right thing is at this moment.” “Hopefully you will before it’s too late.” She pulled in a breath. “Now… Elliott…tell me everything. Don’t leave out a single detail.”

46


CHAPTER 6 “Shouts were heard inside the home—‘Darren Cassidy shoved her down the stairs’—at which point Neal Cassidy excused himself to reporters and slipped inside. Because of the abrupt departure of Cassidy and fiancée Regina Atherton earlier from Darren Cassidy’s home, there was some speculation it was Atherton the elder Cassidy shoved down the stairs. Further investigation revealed Darren Cassidy’s exwife…Neal’s mother…was injured in such a fall twelve years ago. A fall then called an accident. A fall that left her confined—” Neal clicked off the television set. There was justice in the world after all, and along with it a sense of peace knowing 47


Darren’s downfall came from an innocent source. He wandered to the front window for a peek outside. The room was dark now. The only other ones awake were Regina, who was on the phone to her parents, and Elliott, who’d taken advantage of the darkness to retrieve his bag from his truck. News vans with satellite feeds lined the road. At least they’d moved outside the gate. Neal could tell from the haphazard parking that they’d jockeyed for prime position. A few were slanted in the ditch. They’d regret that if the clouds let loose. He heard Regina’s soft footfall behind him and dropped the curtain, turning to face her. Light from the kitchen silhouetted her for a moment, then lit her troubled features in gray-white as she stepped into the room. “Are they still out there?” “Yes, looks like they’re planning to camp out. I don’t know what they think it’ll give them.” Yeah…he did—a shot of his mom. More sensationalism. They would have followed him no matter what, but that didn’t lessen Neal’s guilt over leading them to her door. “How did it go with the phone call?” She eased onto the sofa and helped herself to the last cookie on the platter, then broke it in two and handed him half. Neal waved it away with a muttered, “No thanks.” Regina sighed. “They’re upset, and I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t know what to tell them. Dad asked if Darren had threatened me in any way.” She looked at Neal from under her long lashes. “I told him ‘constantly.’ Of course they wanted to know why I didn’t tell you, why I didn’t go to 48


the police, why I didn’t tell them.” She shrugged. “I just said I was afraid, that it happened when he and I were alone, that it had started small and escalated and…” All of which was true. “Dad wanted me, ‘Out of that house right now.’” She nailed his deep tone. Neal tried not to laugh. “I told them I was here with you. It went downhill from there. Ending with them telling me how disappointed they are in me.” Neal had heard snippets of the conversation and easily surmised the interrogation she’d undergone. Her father wasn’t a superior court judge for nothing. Regina hadn’t wanted them to know she’d been sleeping with Darren. But, judging from what Neal had heard, Phillip Atherton had dissected every sentence until he had the full story. She’d been Darren’s mistress all along. Darren had set her up as Neal’s fiancée. “So much for me getting out of this gracefully,” she said. “Hoisted on my own petard.” He sat beside her, cupping his hand over her knee. “When it’s all said and done, you’re still their daughter. They’ll understand you just made a mistake and will forgive it.” “I know, but it will be a cold day in hell before they’ll ever let me forget it.” “They’ll never forget you could’ve wound up like my mother and be grateful you’re safe,” he told her. “Quit being nice to me. I don’t deserve it. I’m afraid I outed you to my father. He kept hurling one question after the 49


other until…” He gave a light laugh. Phillip was formidable. “I suspect I’ll survive.” Regina dropped her hand over his and squeezed. “What will you do?” “I honestly don’t know right now.” He’d been racking his brain all evening searching for this “right thing.” So far…no epiphany. “Well…I’m going to call it a night. It’s been a day.” She started to stand, then leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Neal. And I do mean that.” She rubbed her thumb over the kiss, then walked away. Neal listened to her footsteps fade up the staircase and returned to his vigil out the window. He didn’t know why he kept looking. Maybe he’d hoped they’d all disappear. No chance of that. Reporters always beat a story to death. The one they hoped to find here was no exception, and they’d certainly been given a lot to play with today. He couldn’t avoid the big question much longer. Soon he’d have to confirm or deny. The right thing. “Gives new meaning to the words ‘laying siege,’ doesn’t it?” Neal started at the sound of Elliott’s voice behind him. He’d been too deep in thought to hear him. Now Elliott’s body heat swirled around him, drawing him near. Neal’s heartbeat tripled…so did the length of his cock. His nipples rasped against his shirt, and Neal ached for Elliott’s callused palms over them. 50


It’d been so long since he’d been held the way he needed. Their reunion in the laundry room felt like a tease now. He needed to touch and be touched. To lose himself in the wonder of re-exploring Elliott’s hard body. To melt into the caress of hands that knew him so well. To make love, not have sex. Though he hadn’t been having much sex over the years either. Neal eased back until barely an inch separated him, until he could feel Elliott’s breath over his neck. Goose bumps wiggled over him. His testicles tightened and hugged the base of his erection. Ass clenched, remembering the feel of their bodies as one…and craving it. “I’ve missed…” “Shh…” Elliott slid his hand around Neal’s waist and closed the minuscule distance between them. “I know.” He pressed his cock into Neal’s back. Elliott laced his fingers over Neal’s. His erection pulsed with every throb of the one behind him. There was entirely too much clothing between them. “Neither of us knows what’ll happen tomorrow…” Elliott’s words tickled down Neal’s neck. “But this is here and now, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let the night pass without you in my arms.” His other hand drifted over Neal’s hip, around to his crotch. A muffled groan tore from Neal’s throat at the feel of Elliott tracing the ridge of his erection. “I…I don’t want another furious fuck,” he managed to say, though at that moment all he wanted was Elliott’s hand in his pants, stroking him to orgasm. 51


“And when I start loving on you…” Elliott flicked his tongue over Neal’s ear. Neal arched into it and pushed his hips forward. “I don’t want to stop.” He dusted his fingers over Neal’s belly button, toying with the hair around it before edging below the waistband of his jeans. Neal’s thighs trembled from the effort to stay upright. Elliott’s hand was warm, almost hot. He remembered how they’d felt cupping his balls while his tongue deviled his cock. Elliott thumbed open the fly button and wiggled his hand deeper. Neal’s erection strained toward his grasp. Elliott pulled in a deep breath through his nose. “God…I love how you smell when you’re turned on. I love how you smell all time, but this…” He looped his fingers around Neal’s dick. Neal groaned and clamped his hand around Elliott’s hip, digging his fingers into his ass. Elliott thrust into his back and rolled his hips. “And you’re wet, too.” He traced his callused thumb over Elliott’s glans, smearing pre-cum over the crown. God! “For fuck’s sake, El,” he gasped out. “How the hell do you expect me to walk up those stairs with this steel pike of a hard-on?” “Good point.” He circled his tongue down Neal’s neck, nudged the shirt collar aside, and nipped at his flesh. Neal felt it all the way to his balls. “We can’t risk breakage, can we?” Elliott hooked his fingers around Neal’s waistband and yanked his clothes down. 52


Neal’s erection sprang free and he swore its milky eye looked for Elliott. Elliott rubbed his hot hand over Neal’s ass, then tickled his finger between his cheeks. Neal leaned into the caress, parting his legs as far as the jeans around his ankles allowed. Elliott moaned and bent down. Teeth scraped over Neal’s ass. Tiny love bites felt like electric shocks to Neal’s groin. His cock swelled to the breaking point. His balls felt like boulders. Then Elliott feathered his tongue down Neal’s crack. “Oh, G—” He braced his hand against the wall and raised his ass. Garbled cries begged for more. Elliott pulled his cheeks wider and laved his tongue down…down…down. “Uhh…” He tossed his head back as Elliott twirled around his hole, the muscles clenching for want of something more. “You’re killing me. I can’t catch my breath.” He groaned with the tongue lashing. Elliott eased away. “Now you know how I felt when you were ravishing me in the laundry room. I haven’t come that quick or that good…since the last time you held me.” Emotion choked Neal. God, how he loved this man! All they’d lost… “Ohgo…” He snapped upright and clamped his hand on the back of Elliott’s head as Elliott slipped his mouth over Neal’s cock. “Your mouth feels like heaven.” Or was it hell? Because it was damn sure hot. Whichever it was, as long as he was with Elliott that’s all that mattered. Elliott slithered his tongue around the cap, toyed with that 53


oh-so sensitive tag of flesh underneath, then dove into the slit at the tip. One hand wiggled between Neal’s thighs to cup his balls. The other wrapped around the base of Neal’s erection and stroked in time with Elliott’s persistent suckling. Eyes closed, he massaged Elliott’s scalp and stabbed his cock into the oven of Elliott’s mouth. Nimble fingers kneaded his aching testicles, teasing them apart, tugging them down until every sound that drifted from Neal’s throat was a moan. Then he pushed against Neal’s anus, rubbing circles around and deeper, until a single thrust eased his finger inside. It’d been too long, felt too good. Neal felt the rush of orgasm and tried to fight it. But each clench tightened around the finger burrowed in his ass, sending more delicious waves of pleasure rolling over his body. Elliott’s thumb teased his balls. His tongue…his mouth…that fist around him… Neal gripped Elliott’s head and thrust forward on a hard growl that shook him to his toes. Jism shot into the depths of Elliott’s mouth with a force so great pleasure and pain became one. And as the sensation subsided, Elliott rubbed his backside, licking the remains of his ejaculate from his flaccid penis, dropping kisses over his groin. So patient, so loving, when Neal knew Elliott was hard as a rock and needing to come, too. Elliott pulled Neal’s clothing up as he stood, trailing kisses up his torso all the way. Smiling, Neal ducked down and captured Elliott’s lips, then tipped him off balance. He clutched Elliott to him with one arm and levered him to the floor. Elliott draped his arms around him, deepening the kiss 54


and strengthening the hold like he never wanted to let go. Neal sure didn’t. Breaking the kiss, Neal tugged Elliott’s shirt up and traced his tongue down the center of Elliott’s ripped stomach. Despite the carved muscles, Elliott still quivered beneath Neal’s touch. Odd how so basic a reaction could make Neal feel all-powerful. “I’ve been dead inside without you.” He combed his fingers through the thick, dark hair arrowing down from Elliott’s navel. Elliott gasped when he corkscrewed his finger inside. Neal burrowed his tongue below the waistband of his jeans, but it was Elliott who unsnapped the button, sliced the zipper down, and shoved the clothing away. His glorious cock thrust up, pale light from the other room gleaming on the wet tip. Neal licked the pre-cum away, savoring the salty taste. Another drop oozed to replace the first. He smeared it over the crown with his thumb. Elliott’s soft gasps, coupled with the scent of his musk, seeped into Neal’s senses. Love for this man nearly overwhelmed him. He wanted to hold on for the rest of his life and never let go. Elliott was his anchor, his beacon…and every other corny, romantic phrase that applied. “God…I want to eat you up.” His voice came out rough, feral. Years without the man he loved had reduced him to his baser self. Neal could care less. Elliott was right. Who knew what tomorrow would bring. He damn sure wasn’t going to waste tonight. He glanced up from under his lashes as he pressed his lips 55


against the base of Elliott’s cock and licked his testicles. Elliott’s eyes were half closed, his mouth agape, soft groans drifting from him. He raked shaky fingers in Neal’s hair and massaged slow circles into his scalp. Every stroke rolled down Neal’s spine and settled in his balls. Smothering a growl, Neal wrapped his mouth over the under-ridge of Elliott’s cock and nibbled his way to the top. The tag of flesh beneath the cap looked stretched to the breaking point. He traced his tongue over it, lapping pre-cum into his mouth each time it appeared. Short stabs pivoted Elliott’s hips. His forearms were rigid, but his grip on Neal’s head remained loose. “You’ve got way more willpower than I ever had,” he said against Elliott’s dick. “How you can manage to fight the urge to fuck my mou—” Elliott rammed into Neal’s throat. “It’s either hold back or come all over your face. Now quit teasing and suck it.” Neal nailed his fingers into Elliott’s ass and shoved his nose into his crinkly pubic hair. He flashed his tongue over the log filling his mouth, nudging his tonsils. Elliott tried to thrust, but Neal had a tight lock on him. He sucked hard, released, sucked again. He could feel the heat pooling into Elliott’s groin. Elliott’s body was as stiff as the penis wedged in Neal’s mouth. Neal felt the pulse in Elliott’s cock…and then semen flooded Neal’s mouth. He gulped it down, fingers kneading the flex of Elliott’s butt muscles, lips milking his dick. Elliott sagged when the last spurt shot from him. He cupped Neal’s face, turning it up 56


for a deep kiss as he slid to his knees. Remnants of Neal’s own ejaculate lingered in Elliott’s mouth. Only one thing could have bonded them more. Elliott peeled his lips from Neal. “You’re hard as a rock again.” Neal grinned. “Imagine that.” “And I know just the cure.” They stood as one, adjusting their clothing as they did so. Elliott snagged his duffel bag on their way to the staircase. Every step was as if synchronized, reminding Neal— reinforcing—how well matched they’d always been. They walked on to Neal’s bedroom—the room they’d always shared when here—like it was just another night, like they hadn’t been apart for twelve years. The twin beds were gone now, replaced by a queen-size. It actually gave them less room since they used to shove the twin beds together every night…and pull them apart every morning for appearance’s sake. Neal stepped in first to ensure the drapes were closed against prying eyes. Though it looked out over the back area, it didn’t pay to be careless. The door clicked shut the instant Neal flicked on the bedside lamp. Elliott tossed his duffel bag to the floor next to the bed, while Neal whipped the bedcovers down. The crisp scent of line-dried sheets filled the room. How his grandmother’s housekeeper managed to do that in a dryer always amazed him. It was always one of those touches that said “home” to him, even if he hadn’t grown up here. “I love that smell”—Elliott whipped off his shirt and toed 57


off his shoes—“fresh sheets and you. I swear it’d give a straight man wet dreams.” Neal’s cock saluted the compliment as Neal jerked his zipper down. It rivaled the erection now waving at him across the bed. Hard to believe they’d both come twice today and still could be just as hard. Once fully nude, Elliott bent over to retrieve something from his duffel bag. Neal presumed it to be lube and condoms, and he was grateful Elliott traveled prepared. Neal didn’t have anything here at all. Hell…he didn’t think he had anything at home either. The only sex he’d been having in recent years was with his fist in the shower. He’d wondered if he could even fit Elliott up his ass anymore. The thought clenched those muscles in anticipation—he sure wanted to try. He pressed his lips together and licked his tongue over them. Watching Elliott bent over like that, his tight ass begging to be touched, was too much to resist. Neal crawled over the bed and wrapped his hands around Elliott’s hips before the man could right himself. Elliott lifted his head on a groan as Neal feathered his tongue down the crack. Elliott bent farther and Neal parted his cheeks to expose the rosebud of flesh at the bottom. He rimmed the hole in slow circles, cupping Elliott’s heavy sac and kneading thumb and forefinger on either side. Elliott tossed lube and condoms onto the mattress and braced his free hand on the edge. The other he looped around his dick, alternately squeezing it into submission, then stroking it hard. Neal breached his anus and screwed his 58


tongue inside. “Fuck me,” Elliott whispered harshly and grappled for a condom. Neal nibbled at his balls, then nipped his inner thighs as he shifted back. His hands shook as he tore open the condom packet in time with Elliott. “I’ll fuck you, but don’t you dare come. I want to feel that hard cock inside me tonight.” Elliott grinned up at him as he crawled onto the bed and rolled the condom over his erection. “No problem. I could come a thousand times tonight and still not have enough of you.” More emotion wrapped around Neal’s heart. He couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat…or the throbbing in his cock. He seated his condom with a jerk, then grabbed the lubricant. Elliott lifted his ass high, thighs wide to accept Neal between them. His forearms bore his weight, fingers flexed around the pillows. Lube spurted onto Neal’s fingers like a mini-ejaculate in its own right. He smeared the cool substance around Elliott’s anus, then worked more inside with an easy slide. Elliott’s sphincter muscles opened and closed, pulling him in, reminding him of what he’d feel when his cock was finally home where it belonged. Elliott’s soft moans took his breath away. Hard pants heaved his chest. He wanted to take his time, but that seemed an impossible feat to ask. He shifted closer, the hairs on his thighs brushing those of 59


his lover. Neal raked his cock over Elliott’s slit, then poised at the opening he craved. As his fingers slid free, his penis replaced it. Dual groans echoed off the walls. Neal dove in to the hilt and froze. Elliott’s muscles rippled along his length, and Neal knew he could probably come with nothing more. Fingers flexed around Elliott’s hips as Neal fought for control. Then Elliott wiggled his ass. Sweet shock waves zinged over Neal’s cock down to his balls now nestled against Elliott’s. His body buzzed with life. He dared a stroke out, then plunged back in, crying out at the sweet sensation. Again Elliott wriggled. “More,” he whispered. “More. Soon I’m going to be doing this to you. Think how damn good that will feel.” “Oh Go…” Neal gave up the battle and pumped slow, measured thrusts into Elliott. Each one squeezed his cock, demanding he come. Each time he tried to hold back, Elliott’s balls against him urged him on, his clenching ass insisting upon it. He lost himself in the wonder, the reunion, the full-body experience of fucking the man he loved. And then he came… God, how he came! Over and over again until he thought he’d black out. He sagged over Elliott’s body as he pulled in ragged breaths. The next thing he knew, Neal was on his back with Elliott hovering over him. Elliott removed the spent condom and cleaned Neal with one of his olive drab T-shirts. “Now I’m going to fuck you.” The words hardened his cock for the fourth time. Another 60


packet ripped open and Elliott rolled it into place for Neal, kneading his balls afterward. Neal heard the spurt of lube and grasped his knees to lift his legs up and let Elliott have him. He actually whimpered with the first thrust of Elliott’s fingers inside him. “Damn, you’re tight.” Elliott traced his tongue over Neal’s balls. He cried out again and raised his legs higher. “It’s been a very long time.” “How long?” Elliott asked. Neal pulled in a breath and closed his eyes. “No one since you.” *

*

*

Twelve years? Elliott drew away and sat on his heels. Neal lowered his legs, bracketing Elliott’s as he levered himself to his elbows. That beautiful cock reclined on his stomach, somewhat less hard than it had been seconds ago…as was Elliott’s. Neal’s confession shocked him into… He hated to say disbelief, but twelve years? “Why?” It was the safest question. “Don’t misunderstand. I have had sex, but not anal. For me that is the most intimate act two men can share.” Yes, Elliott remembered him saying that before, and how thrilled he’d been when Neal had chosen him to be that one. “And it’s only meant for someone I’m in love with.” There went Elliott’s heart again, tightening with emotion. 61


“At first the pain of losing you was too much. I’d jerk off thinking of you. I’d fuck myself wishing it was you.” Elliott understood that. He’d done the same thing. “Then I wanted human contact, someone to touch me. Blow jobs and hand jobs were easy hook ups…well, easier than I expected. I didn’t want to risk my heart with anything more. I didn’t want to risk my father hurting someone else.” “So you locked yourself away?” The pain that must have caused him wrenched Elliott’s heart. “It seemed the best solution, especially when I moved into politics. I became more high profile and the chances of anonymous liaisons were fewer. I tried women, but…” He shrugged a shoulder and grimaced. “And yet, here we are.” “Yes.” The word rang strong and clear. “Because this morning I finally realized I couldn’t be something I’m not. This morning the one person I’ve fought to protect, the only man I’ve ever loved, was threatened. Who am I to fight for the people if I can’t fight for the one person who matters the most.” “God, love…I…” He covered Neal’s mouth in a kiss that said everything words couldn’t. *

*

*

Neal draped one leg and then the other over Elliott’s shoulders. Elliott released his mouth one lip at a time and shifted back. His cock pressed against Neal’s anus, slow yet persistent. 62


Neal cried out with pleasure as the head pierced the ring of muscle. Inch by sweet inch Elliott possessed him. Neal couldn’t believe after all the times he’d come that he could be so close again. He felt like a virgin all over again. In many respects he was. But this was a thousand times better than the first time, because now he knew how explosive the climax would be. Elliott wedged in tight, then eased out and plunged in again. He leaned closer until his stomach pressed into Neal’s erection, stroking it while he pivoted into Neal’s ass. Each time Neal was certain he was going to come, Elliott eased away, driving Neal insane with want, even while he blessed the extra time to draw out the moment. Neal nailed his heels into Elliott’s back, hands braced on those wide shoulders. Elliott stabbed short thrusts into his ass, then longer ones, quicker…harder. Neal shoved his hand between them, fisting his cock. “I can’t wait,” he gasped out, hand flashing over the rigid flesh. “Me…either.” A thrust punctuated each word. Then Elliott shoved deep and slammed his mouth over Neal’s. Jism streamed from Neal, threatening to burst the rubber. The force of Elliott’s orgasm throbbed against his colon, every beat accompanied with another blast of ejaculate. Heartbeats slowed with their gentle kisses. Somehow they managed to pull themselves from the bed long enough to rid themselves of the condoms. Then they were back in each other’s arms, burrowed under the covers. Neal never wanted to 63


let go. “I know the right thing now,” he said. Elliott brushed his thumb over Neal’s cheek. “You mean the thing your mother mentioned?” “Yeah…it’s me and you. I never want to be without you again.” “I know exactly how you feel.” Another kiss settled them deeper under the covers. Neal closed his eyes and let the cradle of Elliott’s arms lull him to sleep.

64


CHAPTER 7 Elliott stared out the window as he sipped a cup of coffee. He had a steaming mug on the bedside table waiting for Neal to wake up. Dew kissed the green pasture spreading before him. Sunrise pinkened the sky. He remembered those mornings when he and Neal would be out there first thing, tending the horses. They’d taken the job seriously, just as they had all their responsibilities. The one looming before them was merely the biggest of their lives. When he trotted downstairs to make a pot of coffee, he’d dared a peak outside. Sometime during the night the reporters had left, probably to chase a bigger story elsewhere. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t be back nipping at Neal’s heels. If 65


he pursued this path in politics, they’d always be after him. And yet… Elliott let the curtain fall into place and turned to watch Neal sleep. The years had fallen from his face in sleep. The right thing. Being together again felt more right than anything else had the last twelve years. He’d give up everything to be with Neal again. Together they could conquer the world, now that they had the maturity and the skills to do so. They could open their own law practices. Two kick-ass attorneys. It could work, but there was something bigger at stake. Neal stretched, reached for Elliott’s side of the bed, then opened his eyes when he realized Elliott wasn’t there. There was a moment of panic on his face before he saw Elliott. The joy when he did filled Elliott’s heart to bursting. It made what he was about to say nearly impossible. “You’re up early.” Neal pushed himself upright. “I could be a smart ass and say, ‘In more ways than one.’ But I’ll let you get your first cup of coffee in you before I ravish you.” He pointed to the cup on the table. A smirk lifted one corner of Neal’s mouth. “Thanks.” He took a careful sip and patted the bed for Elliott to join him. Elliott didn’t hesitate, dropping his hand over Neal’s thigh. “I want to talk to you about something.” He ordered the words in his head. “Go on.” “I’ve been watching your political climb over the years. You’re damn good, and the people love you. You have the 66


chance to do great things for this country. You’re…a natural.” He lifted his hand when Neal drew breath to speak. “Your father may have pushed you, but I don’t think you would have gone along with any of it if your heart wasn’t in it. You love what you do. You love helping people.” “I do.” Neal nodded. “And I suppose after what I allowed my father to do to us, on some level, I wanted to take as much from him as I could, use him in any way possible to get what I wanted from life.” “You could be president one day.” That’s how much faith Elliott had in the man. Neal laughed. “Yeah…a gay president. Like that’s going to happen.” “You never know. Someone has to make a stand. You said it yourself that it should be about the issues, not about a person’s sex life.” “So you’re saying I should come out and still run for Congress.” At that point Elliott wasn’t sure what he was saying. He sure as hell wasn’t about to tell Neal how to run his life, even if that meant parting ways once more. And that idea hurt like hell. “We’re old enough now to know we shouldn’t let anyone or anything take away what we really want.” “And if what we want is at cross purposes?” “Life isn’t about making easy choices.” A knock on the door yanked them apart. Elliott darted for the closet. Neal scrambled for his jeans. Old habits were hard to break. 67


The floor rattled with Neal’s strides to the door. Elliott heard Regina with the first steps. “Oh, Neal, hurry,” she cried. “He’s here. He’s here.” Elliott stopped behind the door as Neal whipped it open. “Who?” he asked. “Your father! Hurry! He’s downstairs screaming, hovering over your mother. Bill—” Neal was out the door a second later. Elliott wasn’t far behind. What in the hell was that son of a bitch doing here? “He called me on my cell,” Regina sobbed out the words. Her black hair tumbled in just-woke-up disarray down her back. She wore a white satin wrap with hand-painted red roses that barely passed as a robe. Long legs were splotched with bruises, mostly on her thighs, growing thicker the higher up they went. Her robe stopped at mid-thigh. She was barefoot like they were. But even though all he and Neal wore were blue jeans, they were overdressed compared to Regina. “Told me to get the front door open or he’d break it down. I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. Bill called right after and said he was right behind him, to just hold on. But then he was here and…” Their footsteps thundered down the staircase. The doors to Mary’s suite were open. Darren’s shouts blasted through them. “What did you do, bitch? What did you do?” Bill’s lower tones tried to calm him, to no avail. Elliott and Neal ran into the room and on to Mary’s bedroom. Darren’s face was nearly purple with rage. Tears she 68


couldn’t wipe away poured down her face. Laura blotted them from her cheeks with shaking hands. Barbara barred Darren’s way, while Bill tugged him back. Darren wouldn’t budge, despite the formidable obstacle Barbara presented. Neal darted between his parents and shoved Darren away. He tottered under the onslaught, then his eyes bulged when he saw Elliott. He snapped his arm in Elliott’s direction, but his glare was for his ex-wife. “What the hell is he doing here? Why are you determined to ruin me? What did I ever do to you?” “Everything,” she managed to say. “Damn you! Damn you to hell, Mary! My son is not gay! My son is not gay!” Neal parked himself in Darren’s face. “Your son is gay!” Bill muttered something that sounded like “Fuck.” Darren looked like his head was ready to explode. “You did this.” He pointed a quaking finger at Mary. “You!” Neal tried to gently wedge him farther away from his mother. “No one did anything. It is what it is.” Darren didn’t bother to look at him. His hatred was focused exclusively on the paralyzed woman. “She did. Ask her. She did it all. It’s her fault she’s a cripple. Tell them!” he spit out through clenched teeth. “She hired the private investigator. She’s the one who had those pictures taken.” Neal turned her way. Disbelief shadowed his face. Mary blinked, undamming more tears. “I just wanted him to leave you alone. To let you live your own life, not his. I wanted you to be happy. I thought if I gave him proof…” 69


“She came to my house, shoved those pictures in my face…” He clawed his fingers through his gray-blond hair. “And so you pushed her down the stairs?” Regina asked, her voice shaking with every word. “She was in my face!” he snapped. “I just wanted her and her lies to go away. She wouldn’t give up. Kept shoving them at me. I pushed and…” His lips trembled. Eyes washed with unshed tears. Darren smeared his hand over his face. Laura dabbed another tissue over her daughter’s cheeks. “And they bought each other’s silence.” She combed her fingers through Mary’s hair, soothing her as she would a child. Dark eyes looked up at Neal. “She’d lost so much, she was afraid she’d lose you on top of it all. Your father demanded a divorce or he’d tell you the pictures were her doing. She wanted support or she’d tell the police he’d pushed her.” “Why, Darren?” Mary asked. “Why, after all this time, did you release those pictures to the public? I kept my end of our agreement. Why couldn’t you keep yours?” “Not me. I would never humiliate myself by admitting to…this.” He sneered the word at Neal. Elliott wanted to slug him. Laura straightened and laced her hands before her. “You’re both fools to trust a two-bit investigator to destroy everything, especially when he knows there’s money in the family. He called once Neal announced his candidacy. Wanted to talk to Mary or he’d release the pictures to the press. I figured enough’s been taken and the time for lies and cover-ups was over. It was time to do the right thing.” She gave a small 70


laugh. “If it wasn’t him, it could have been someone else. Better now than later. Seems like there’s been some good to come out of it.” “Easy for you to say.” Darren’s lips turned white around the edges. “My life’s ruined.” “So was my daughter’s the day you shoved her down the stairs,” Laura shot back. “Now…get out of my house or I’ll call the sheriff. I’m sure you’d love to have that on the six o’clock news.” He clenched his fist by his side. Elliott moved closer, in case the man decided to use it against someone. Instead, Darren pivoted on the ball of his foot and marched away. The front door slammed shortly thereafter, and everyone in the room released a collective sigh of relief. “I’m so sorry.” Mary’s eyes swam with fresh tears as she gazed up at Neal. “It’s okay, Mom.” He kissed her forehead, then rested his cheek there. “It’s all okay.” “What happens now?” she asked. He smiled. “Well…I don’t know if it’s the right thing, but I do know what I have to do for me.” He gave her another kiss. Barbara placed her hand on his back. “She really needs to rest.” “Of course.” As they left Mary’s room, Neal turned to Bill. “It’s recently been pointed out to me that life isn’t about making easy choices. If you’re still willing to be my campaign 71


manager, I’d love to have you onboard. The focus is still on the issues, not on my sex life, though I realize that will have to be addressed so we can get back to business.” Bill lifted his chin and looked him square in the eye. “You have my support…one hundred percent.” “Good. I’ll see you back in Los Angeles at my house, not Darren’s. Regina and I will be leaving in a couple of hours.” He nodded and left. Regina curled her fingers around Neal’s forearm. “I owe you…my life. Anything you need, anything the Athertons can do to ensure you win that congressional seat, you’ve got it.” She stretched on tiptoe, kissed his cheek, and walked away. It was just Elliott and Neal now, standing within inches of each other. Elliott had never been more proud of anyone in his life. Neal was up for quite a battle, but if anyone could win it, it was him. “I’ve made one choice,” Neal told him. “The other choice is to have you. But it won’t be easy.” It never was being gay. “So now you have a choice to make,” Neal said. “If your choice is no, I’ll fight to my last breath to protect you.” Just like Elliott had been willing to do for him. “I’ve made my choice, too.” *

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Elliott hadn’t expected his heart to be pounding this hard. The staff sat around bullshitting over coffee, while CNN blared on the TV in the reception area, and they waited for the 72


day to begin. The news ran a continual loop of the previous day’s press conference. Neal stood outside his campaign headquarters, Regina and her father by his side, Bill in the background. And in front of dozens of reporters, he announced his continued candidacy for Congress…and came out that he was gay. No one around Elliott said much. It was just another morning at the Staff Judge Advocate’s Office. His fellow attorneys were more concerned about the day’s trial docket and the possibility of any of them having to deploy to war. That would all change the instant Elliott’s colonel walked through those doors. By the end of the day he would most likely be the topic of conversation. Elliott tried not to pace. It would have helped to have Neal by his side, just as it would have helped Neal to have Elliott with him. But they’d both made their choices and knew sometimes making those choices meant starting with standing on their own. It wasn’t going to be easy, but they were confident in their love and the strength they now possessed that they’d find a way to get through this together. The colonel breezed in the front door with cheery, “Morning!” Elliott supposed it was a blessing the man was fairly good-natured. Elliott waited until he’d grabbed a cup of coffee and headed for his office, then followed. “I presume this means you’d like to talk to me, captain?” “Yes, sir.” “Is this going to make my day or break it?” 73


“Break it, sir.” “Great. Just great.” They stepped inside his office and the colonel sank onto one of the two red sofas there. “Shut the door and let me have it.” Elliott eased the door closed and sat across from him. “Sir…I’m gay.”

74

CASSIE S TEVENS

Author Cassie Stevens writes gay (M/M) erotic romance. She lives in California and is married with two sons. You can visit Cassie’s web site at: http://cassiestevens.com *

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Don’t miss Secret Lovers, by Cassie Stevens, available at Amber-Allure.com!

A lifetime of living in secret? Or a lifetime of living alone? The answer isn’t so simple when careers are at risk and a friendship could be lost. Firefighter Alex Randall and Marine Captain Sam Blevins have been best friends and near constant companions since fate brought them together during a traffic collision. But even best friends don’t tell all. Each man harbors hidden secrets—the fact that each is gay, and that they both want each other…love each other.

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