Christmas & Forever

Evernight Publishing www.evernightpublishing.com

Copyright© 2011 Delilah Hunt

ISBN: 978-1-927368-19-0

Cover Artist: LF Designs Editor: JC Chute

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews. This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

DEDICATION To my wonderful family and friends. Thanks for putting up with the weirdness...all these years.

CHRISTMAS AND FOREVER Delilah Hunt

Copyright © 2011

Chapter One

The loud blare of the autoclave machine startled Liya Emerson. She powered it down, satisfied the medical instruments were efficiently sterilized. Although the sound was enough to knock her out of her reverie, it wasn’t enough to keep her mind from straying yet again to the problem at hand: Aidan Keegan, or rather Dr. Aidan Keegan, a.k.a. her boss. His friends might not care about his self-destructive behavior but she did. Spine ramrod-straight, Liya gave a single nod. This year would be different. Come hell or high water, she was going to bring some joy and happiness to Aidan. Liya extracted the instruments from the stainless-steel machine as the patter of approaching footsteps seized her attention. The forty-three year old chief of cardiology entered the small back room. His eyes skimmed over her in curt acknowledgement before he raised one arm, reaching for the stack of needles on the topmost shelf: a shelf that, at her pitiful measurement of five-foot-five, Liya had no hope of reaching without the leverage of a chair. Liya bit the insides of her cheeks. Dr. Keegan was a sight. Nearly twice her height Aidan was lean, with broad shoulders that filled out the casual white shirt he wore. Heat blossomed in her cheeks as she admired the hints of corded muscles in his forearm. Silver threads woven into his brown hair made him appear every bit his age, while the slight heaviness beneath his eyelids seemed to add an extra five years. He slammed the cabinet and Liya blinked, her eyes snapping open. Liya peered at him. Although it should have been a feat to imagine Aidan as he might have been six years prior, long before she

was hired as receptionist for the clinic, she found it simple. He must have smiled a lot, and laughed, too. Of course, he now looked worldweary. It couldn’t have been any other way, since he was still reeling from the accident that snatched his wife and baby from him, leaving him nothing but a nerve-damaged hand, which made his career as a renowned heart surgeon come to a screeching halt. At least that was what she’d heard. Aidan told her nothing, no matter how hard she pressed him. Getting more than two words out of him was like waiting for a lump of coal to turn to a diamond in front of her eyes. Impossible. But those rare magical moments when he did open up— even if it was to ask how her day went or how she did on a certain exam at university— were treasured. Liya glanced out the window on the far side of the room. Across the street, lit by fluorescent lamps and multicolored seasonal miniature lights strung across the snow-covered buildings, a Salvation Army Santa Claus stood posted on the sidewalk, the jangle of his bell muted by the distance. She pinned her focus on Aidan. Was he spending the holidays alone, like her? When it was just her brother and she, it was all too easy to let the holidays slide by without regard. And after Henry’s death, well she had no reason or blessings to celebrate. Without her little brother, she was without a family. But somehow she found a way to pick up the pieces and move on, even fulfilling her dreams of attending university. Aidan, on the other hand––he didn’t quite know how to move on. And during the holidays in particular, being so close to the time of the year when his world ended, he was in torment. Without preamble, she ventured, “Can I ask you something?” He halted in the middle of closing a cabinet, shoulders squared. “What is it?” “Of all the things in the world, what’s the one thing you’d want for Christmas?” His thick brows narrowed and for a moment, Liya feared this would be the final straw in her endless barrage of interrogation. But she refused to throw down her weapons so easily and admit defeat in her campaign to pluck Dr. Keegan out of his melancholy. His firm lips twitched, and Liya could see a line of humor start to seam along the edges. “I wonder how long you’ve been waiting to ask that one.”

Liya returned his smile. So he was slowly thawing toward her, after enduring five months of her incessant chatter. She was glad to see a lack of annoyance in his icy blue eyes, because apart from trying to talk to him each day, she was unsure of another method to waylay the somberness that clung to him like a metal shield. “All day long.” She smiled sheepishly in admission. Aidan gave her a long stare, all traces of humor vanishing. “That answer should be obvious, shouldn’t it?” Oh God. Idiot. She wished she had kept her blasted mouth shut for once. Of course he would wish for his family and a return to the life he had prior to the collision. Her eyes drifted lower. He wasn’t leaning so heavily on the right leg today, meaning the injury, another horrendous legacy from the accident, wasn’t the cause of his dour mood. Even so, Liya refused to cower. “It’s not obvious or I wouldn’t have asked.” Aidan’s lips curled. “I’d rather not discuss this anymore or for that matter with you. I didn’t hire you to question me at every turn, Liya.” He clenched his jaw and issued her a knowing stare. “No matter what your intentions are.” Her face fell. Why did she always have to make everything so freaking transparent? Because you don’t know any other way, she chided herself. “I apologize, Dr. Keegan.” His body visibly relaxed. “Just no more questions for today, all right?” When she jerked her head in affirmation he asked, “Now, who’s up next to be examined?” Liya hopped over to the front desk to check the list of scheduled appointments. On most days the list was devoid of names due to the regularity of walk-in patients in the low cost clinic. After confirming that there weren’t any appointments for the day, Liya settled into the usual routine, waiting in her chair at the front desk or organizing the back room so Aidan— because as much as she respected the other doctors, she could care less if they wished to rip out their hair trying to find equipment—wouldn’t have the additional stress. For the next couple of hours, she alternated between scouting through a psychology textbook, one of the final exams she had to endure before the holiday commenced, and signing patients in. She knew Aidan didn’t mind her using the time to study, because it kept her from talking and flinging more random questions his way.

The faint ticking of the wall clock caused her to look up. Five minutes until closing time. While she would head home, Liya knew Aidan would return to Mansfield General Hospital and take over his duties supervising and making sure the cardiology department ran without a glitch. “Are we finished for the afternoon?” Aidan stuck his head through the door that connected the waiting and examination rooms. She rose from the desk. “Looks like it. Are you headed to the hospital soon?” “I go every day. You know that. What’s wrong with you?” He raised an eyebrow as if she was slowly losing it. Liya shrugged. “Those lines around your eyes aren’t going to go away on their own.” His features hardened in lieu of her scrutiny. Ignoring him, Liya powered on. Someone had to let him know the truth and no one else seemed up to the task. “I don’t see what good you’re going to be to anyone, yourself included, if you keep this up. Give it another week and you’re headed into zombie territory. It’s not a good look. All those little kids you take care of, let’s see how many of them will let Dr. Keegan anywhere near them.” “Are you finished?” he asked between clenched teeth. “Not really, but I’d like to keep my job, so I guess I need to shut up now.” Aidan scoured his gaze lower, then upward to her face. “Smart girl.” He spun in the direction of his small office in a secluded corner. “I’m not a girl. I’m twenty-three, in case you forgot from the employee application.” His motion halted, Aidan regarded her with a slow pivot of the head and bore down on her as if he were observing an insect under a microscope. “That means nothing to me.” If she was any other person she might have taken offense. Liya brushed it aside. “I’m not surprised. This is coming from a person who doesn’t take care of himself then turns around and lectures his patients about how they should live their lives.” Treading on dangerous grounds, Liya, the sane part of her mind scolded. Aidan was her boss, but he was also a man she had gotten to know over the past months, observing all the nuances that made him, well…Aidan. For instance, she was probably the only one in the clinic who knew that as soon as a thunderstorm rolled in, Aidan

was screwed. So many times she had seen the carefully masked pain on his face and knew his left leg was acting up again. Once, after her second month on the job, curiosity had gotten the best of her, infusing her with a fool’s boldness to ask Aidan himself what happened to his leg. A scowl and a demand to reorganize the patient folders by first name was her answer. Of course she hadn’t done it, and Aidan hadn’t said a word when he saw the folders as they always were. The next day she had gone to another doctor, probably the closest friend Aidan had, and inquired about his injury. Dr. Northrop hadn’t said much, except that Aidan should have listened to the specialist’s advice and amputated the leg. Deep down, a wave of pity had surfaced, but behind it…behind it, something that had been stirring, quietly blooming, started to take root. There was more to Aidan than met the eye. More to his stoic moodiness, and Liya wanted to explore and discover every facet that made the man she was becoming enthralled by. His wide chest heaved and an unnamed emotion she couldn’t even begin to decipher filtered into his eyes as he locked his gaze with hers. “In the six months you’ve been working here, you’ve suddenly become an expert on my life? You know nothing about me. Nothing about pain, Liya.” His voice was surprisingly devoid of the fury she expected. “Without my work, I don’t see what else there is to life and I don’t believe I care enough to find out.” She curled her fingers into her palm. Aidan wouldn’t know it, but she was also familiar with death, with losing loved ones. She had lost both of her parents at a young age and just three years ago, after spending the entirety of her teenage years caring for her brother Henry, he passed away, succumbing to a congenital heart defect and leaving her completely without family members. Aidan and she were more alike than he would ever know. “I know more than you think. As for being an expert on your life? Hardly. In the time I’ve been here working with you, I see glimpses of the person beneath the pain, and well, I don’t understand why none of your fri—” “Colleagues,” he corrected. “I have no friends.” “Fine, your colleagues.” She made sure to emphasize the word to point out the ridiculousness of it. “I don’t know why they don’t seem to care.”

Aidan pressed his hand to the wall, brows arched. “And you care? You care what happens to your lonely boss?” “You’re lonely because you choose to be.” She hurled the words at him. He narrowed his eyes and stared at her again in a way that made her lower belly tingle, a sensation she was fast growing accustomed to when he was around. “Don’t forget old, too.” Her sight launched upward so he could plainly see that she had noticed the gray hairs. His lips slanted into a thin line. “Yes, of course that goes without saying.” Liya’s lips twitched as she felt the laughter rising from within. She was about to let him know that she was only joking and playing along with his doom-and-gloom demeanor until he shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Go home, Liya. There’s no point in continuing this conversation.” Unbelievable. No amount of prodding and teasing was getting through to him. She closed her eyes and inhaled deep, calming breaths. “Wait!” Aidan was halfway around the corner to his office. “What is it?” His tone was low and bereft. She joined him beside the door. Hesitating, she allowed her hand to lie atop his. Beneath her opened palm, his hand felt hard and capable. Skilled hands that would never again be able to do what Aidan loved and had worked so hard to achieve. Every inch of her body ached for the man standing before her. “I really am sorry if my question caused you pain. I know you’re hurting.” He fixed her with a steely glare, as if her words offended him. “You don’t have to look at me like that. I never said I understood your pain. No one can, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. And I do. A lot.” The room fell silent, the air stilled. Nothing, save for the sound of her own breath coming out in tiny rasps, connected with her. She had said it. It was out there, tangible and unable to fade into nothingness. Plus, she couldn’t and wouldn’t take it back. Before allowing Aidan to get a word in and warn against her foolishness, Liya told him, “If I say something else to you, do you promise you won’t take it the wrong way and tell me to leave and never set another foot in the clinic?”

He raised his head, a slight frown marring his features. Concerned, dark-blue eyes seared into hers. “Damn it,” he whispered, pained. “You know I’d never tell you to leave. What is it now?” “I want you to call me, if you ever need anything. I mean, if you ever need someone to talk to…besides your colleagues, that is.” “Liya…” She shook her head, trudging ahead despite the way his eyes centered on their hands, still touching above the doorknob. “I know we’re not friends. I have a lot of respect for you, however. I think I’ve made that clear, in my own way, since you hired me. I’d just hate to think you needed an ear and there was no one to listen to you. You can call at anytime. I swear.” A muscle ticked in his jaw and those damn lips curled again. “Pity?” “Never,” she assured vehemently. He disengaged his hand and gave a curt nod. “I’ll remember your offer. Does that satisfy you?” He meant to intimidate her with his detached tone, but Liya refused to take the bait. Putting distance between them, she grabbed her coat off the nearby rack and placed the hood, lined with grayish faux fur, over her head. “Yep. You just made my night.” She smiled and winked, hoping he would lighten up a bit. No such luck. He kept looking at her in a strange half-glare, half... She wasn’t sure if there was even a word for it, since the man confused the hell out of her. If Liya weren’t at least five shades darker than Aidan, her face would be a study in different shades of red. So it led to the question. Did he realize what he was doing to her? Did he know that beneath his cold stares and detached words, he was wreaking havoc on her emotions? Her nipples stiffened beneath her blouse, ultra-sensitive and yearning for something she had never experienced. “Aidan?” She inched closer to him. Citrus and spice aftershave whispered in the air. She was too close. Need to step back. She couldn’t. An invisible force held her tethered on a string, pulling her to him. Before her mind could assimilate the action, Liya glided forward, softly planting a kiss on his shaven jaw. The instant Liya raised her head, she realized her mistake. Her big mistake. The breath lodged in her throat. What a slut she must

seem like. A minute earlier she was inveigling him to call if ever the need arose, and now? Now she had her lips on his skin. They weren’t even outside in the piercing cold, where she could lay the blame on hypothermia-induced madness. She wanted to sink through the floorboards and go even further down the rabbit hole than Alice. “Dr. Keegan. I’m —” Aidan’s eyes glared as he cut off her apology. “Don’t ever do that again.” Her stomach knotted with embarrassment. Not even the warmth of the anorak could melt the coldness overtaking her. For the first time in twenty-three years, she had lost her mind and kissed a man who would sooner spend time with a rock than her. Liya had never done anything so brazen before, much less with someone in a position of authority and so much older than herself. She nodded and forced herself to look him in the eyes. Cowering and feeling ashamed wasn’t the answer. Steadfast. Liya had to remain steadfast to her plans. Aidan meant too much to her. If she was going to bring any sort of joy to this man, she had to proceed in baby steps with him, because heaven knew the man was going to fight her every step of the way. “It won’t happen again.” Even if she tried to explain that the kiss has been innocent, borne out of a desire to give comfort, Aidan wouldn’t understand. He was much too stubborn. “Am I fired?” Liya asked, hiding the actual flicker of fear that this might be it for her. As much as she cared about Aidan, she still needed the job to take care of the bills her financial aid didn’t cover. Come summer, it was a different story and she would have a degree in hand, ready to begin work as an elementary school teacher. He stepped into the office and looked back. “I’ll see you on Monday. Perhaps it’s best if we put this incident behind us. You’re a good worker. Let’s leave it at that. We’ll both forget this incident, yes?” She exhaled with relief. That was one victory for the day. Sighing, Liya plodded outside into the night. Maybe she was looking at her situation with Aidan from the wrong angle. Maybe what she was starting to feel for him wasn’t romantic in the least. What if he was right and it was pity? She lowered her head dramatically so that her chin brushed against the top button of her coat. And maybe Santa Claus was real. She was doomed, for the holiday and possibly

forever. For the first time in her life she was on the crest of experiencing love, and naturally it was with the wrong man. Or perhaps it was just the other way around. She would always be the wrong woman for him. Aidan wanted his old life back, and the woman he loved. The one Christmas gift Liya would never be able to give him. **** “Did you and Liya get into it?” Aidan propped his leg on the maplewood desk. He’d just arrived at the hospital minutes earlier and within mere seconds of settling into his office in the cardiology unit on one of the upper floors, the first words out of James Northrop’s mouth were about that insufferable girl. Or,woman, as she’d been keen to remind him, hours before. He despised the way his colleague worded the phrase. You and Liya. It made it seem as if they were an entity. “Ms. Emerson is an efficient worker.” James chuckled and adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses. “I know that. The girl is the only one who can get more than two words out of you these days. Did you notice that?” He had. Not that he wanted to discuss any of it with James or anyone. He hated even thinking about it. And that was strange, since it was hard not to think of or notice everything about Liya. It was almost as if she purposely went out of her way to make herself noticeable. The tightly wound corkscrew curls with streaks of auburn highlights that made her dark smoky eyes radiate, when they should have appeared lackluster to someone with a fondness for grassy green eyes like Sarah’s. From the beginning, Aidan had tried hard not to spend too much of his time analyzing and dissecting why he hadn’t fired Liya after numerous opportunities. Or for that matter, why he had even given her the damn job. When she opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong with his leg, he knew she wasn’t going to dodge or skirt around him like everyone else. Was that the reason for his reluctance to see her gone? “No I haven’t,” he lied. Aidan snapped a folder closed and lowered his leg, dismissing the biting pain. “That’s your problem, isn’t it? Your hand is damaged and I know that leg is shot to pieces from the accident too. As for your eyesight, there’s not a thing wrong with it.”

Aidan shuffled in his chair, knuckles tightening. The hell if James was hinting at what he assumed. “Have you been talking to Liya?” James smirked. “How, when? That poor little girl is too busy trailing after you, making sure ‘Dr. Keegan’ is okay. You’re turning a blind eye on too many things. Too many people, Aidan. I know this might sound like a fucked-up thing to say, but life keeps going, man, and you’re in the thick of it. You’re here for a reason. I just don’t want you to wake up one day and realize you let too many things slip away.” Slip away? The familiar pang of anger and envy worked its way through him. How easy it was for James to dole out advice. He had a wife and four children tucked in safe and warm at home, waiting for him. James had also just successfully performed his last surgery for the night. His life was intact and thriving. Slip away. He wished. Everything he had cherished and wanted to protect had been ripped from him, snatched away at the summit of his life. “How many times did you sit beside your wife as she gave birth?” Aidan asked suddenly, wishing to drive the point home. Shades of scarlet raced up James’s cheek. “Aidan, come on, let’s not—” Underneath the desk, Aidan stretched his leg. The shooting pain doubled, then increased tenfold in the span of a few seconds. He didn’t doubt the effects were heightened by the turn of conversation. “Don’t ever mention ‘losing’ anything to me. None of you knows what that feels like. And please don’t bring up Ms. Emerson to me again. She is a child who knows even less about tragedy. The most tragic thing she’s ever dealt with is probably her hair not turning out the right shade of highlights.” He knew he was being unreasonably harsh, but someone like Liya threatened his sanity and all the promises he had made to himself and Sarah. “She doesn’t deserve that,” James stated, toying with the stethoscope around his neck, “and I’m sure you already know it. I’m headed home, but I hope you don’t forget what I said. “You can start over, Aidan. Cut yourself some slack. No one expects you to be a saint about this.” Aidan scowled. “I thought you said you were leaving?” James paused at the doorway. “I am. Our little heart-to-heart almost made me forget what I originally came here to ask you.”

“I’m listening. What is this…request?” “A couple of us were wondering if you wouldn’t mind hosting a little holiday get-away at that cabin you keep locked up in Bear Ridge.” Aidan lifted his brows. “A couple. That’s quite vague, isn’t it? How many? Also, why would you of all people be interested in spending Christmas isolated up in the mountains?” James blinked in surprise for a second as if he was caught off guard. “Well, I—I’m not going. Never said I was. The others. Hendricks, Wilcox and a few more.” James coughed into his fist and averted his gaze. He wasn’t surprised. Although he was partially to blame for distancing himself from the people he once considered friends, they too had altered their behavior when he was around. They were uncomfortable, and their laughter hushed as he entered the room. It was as if they were afraid whatever ill omen afflicted him would somehow scourge its way into their peaceful and contented lives. “You’re a messenger now, Northrop? They’re adults. If they wish to secure the use of my property why couldn’t they come forward?” “That’s not fair, Aidan. You shouldn’t come down so hard on them. You’re not the easiest guy to talk to these days. In fact, it would be better if you didn’t say anything to the others about it. Might get a bit uncomfortable, you know. So, is the place free or not?” Unless wolves had taken up residence, yes. He hadn’t driven up the mountain passage in years. The last time was to ready the cabin for their first Christmas, just the two of them. He’d bought the decorations, rolls of tinsel, lights and ornaments. Decorations that hadn’t made it out of their packaging, also thanks to the drunk bastard who collided into them, driving southbound in the northbound lane. Everything happened in a flash. There just hadn’t been enough time to see it coming. The worst part was, the criminal had died on the spot, without ever seeing the faces of the people whose lives he had lacerated. For three days after the crash, Sarah suffered, trying so damn hard to maintain a grip on her fragile thread of life. And within those gruesome days of her body hemorrhaging, doctors also tried everything medically possible to save their daughter, who died hours

after she was delivered by cesarean section. The familiar pain clutched at him, held him in its rigid grip, refusing to lessen. Those tiny hands he had touched for just a few minutes had felt so warm, filled with promises never to be fulfilled. The anguish ate at him, burning into his lungs and leaving him raw. He should have died with them. There was nothing fair or worthwhile about his continued existence. It wasn’t even as if he could say he had a role in helping to save the lives of others. That part of his life was also history, alongside the eroded nerve endings. So no, he didn’t blame everyone for keeping their distance…if only Liya had the same common sense and self-preservation. “It’s free. The cabin is unoccupied.” James continued to regard him strangely, with a sudden gleam entering his eyes. “You should go, too. It’ll be good for you, Christmas with your friends. Or rather, people who want to be your friends again. You can make some good memories there, Aidan. Trust me.” That was out of the question. “You know I always spend the holidays with Sarah’s parents.” Silently he added, and each and every year it’s getting harder to be around them. If he was still in mourning, those two already had their lower halves in the ground with their daughter and grandchild. He even felt he had to wear black when visiting them, a color that depressed him even more. “Understandable, but you were in love with their daughter, not them. You don’t owe them your soul.” He took exception to James’ use of the past tense in regard to his love of Sarah, but decided to let it pass. That was the problem with everyone. They assumed that just because Sarah wasn’t here that his love for her had diminished, that he didn’t love her as much as the day of the accident and each day before that. It was unthinkable. Such emotions as strong as his did not die a quiet death. His promise, on that cold, sorrowful night as he’d sat by her bedside, assuring her that he would not give his heart to anyone else, had been easy to keep. Nothing and no one challenged his pledge, until Liya, and he wasn’t sure if he hated or liked her all the more for it. The simple fact that it did feel good to have that glimmer of hope, even if it felt like it was being dangled on a string light years away that only he was able to see, was a new wave of torment.

“I know I don’t owe them, but the fact remains I’m their last connection to Sarah and the baby.” As the words tumbled from his lips, Aidan knew there was no way he could bear another holiday with them. “So then it’s a no-go for you? Cross your name off the list?” Definitely, a ‘No’. “Maybe.” Oh, hell. Now why had he said that? He must truly be desperate for companionship for his brain to launch such a traitorous resolve, contemplating a weekend with his co-workers in a place he’d abandoned. Aidan frowned as another thought assailed him. The names of the doctors James had mentioned were the ones who, alongside himself, volunteered services to the clinic he had organized. His body grew taut. Liya. She was staff too. Had James invited her also? The idea of spending time around her outside the working hours of the clinic was almost enough to send him into a panic. When James issued a hurried goodbye, he barely registered the sound above his brain’s own machination. For the rest of the night as he reviewed the standard paperwork ensuring that all protocol had been adhered to on his unit and in between bouts of pain ricocheting through the lacerated muscles below the numerous layers of scar tissue on his leg, Liya ran, giggled and danced through his mind. Aidan scoffed. He almost felt sorry for the girl. Her concerns were wasted on him in spite of the deadened part of his heart, which slowly awoke each time she uttered his name in that husky southern drawl with a girlish undertone, smoldering each syllable. Sometime around nine p.m., Aidan stepped out of the hospital and pulled the lapels of his jacket together, bracing against the rush of Arctic breeze that bombarded his face. He blew out a breath and shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat as a light cloud of frost floated upward and away in the dense winter air. Shifting his weight to the right, he carefully ambled down the sleet-slickened sidewalk. He didn’t mind the walk to his apartment, only a five-minute’s jaunt from the hospital. A small group of children led by a woman in an angel costume, complete with a flowing dress, golden halo and wings rushed down the pavement across the street. Laughter and chatter fluttered in their wake. His gut tightened. He didn’t think any of the children were older than six years old. The same age Isabella would have been had she lived.

Head down, he continued the trek unable and unwilling to watch the display of festivities as they stopped in front of a pharmacy and began the opening to O Holy Night. Fatherhood was a reward he would never get another chance to partake in. No. He hadn’t been impaired physically in that respect, but God forbid he did have sex with another woman, one thing was for sure: he would make certain a child would never result from the union. There wasn’t a single woman on earth who could replace Sarah, neither could another baby replace the daughter he’d held for two heavenly minutes. And as Aidan thought of the family he had lost, subconsciously in his mind flashed an image of Liya with her dark, almost ebony-colored skin. His cock jerked in response, his balls heating and growing heavy despite the outside temperatures. Aidan lowered his gaze and glared. That disgusting thing between his legs knew nothing of loyalty. Liya was the complete opposite of every woman he had been with. The complete opposite of his quiet wife, who was slender with straight reddish-brown hair, milky white skin with a smattering of freckles dotting her nose. Liya was average height, curvy and full figured. Yet, even with the differences that should have prevented him from giving her a second look, it was those very things that he found himself more often than not picturing. His cock twitched again. Aidan gritted his teeth against an image of holding Liya’s soft flesh and seeing just how far he could sink into her before he lost the pitiful remnants of his sanity. I want you to call me if you ever want to talk. God in heaven, he could actually hear her voice; and more frightening, he did want to make the phone call, even if it was just to test the merit of her words and see if it made her uncomfortable having to speak with him about more than frivolous issues. Doubtful. The girl…woman was shrouded in steel armor. Nothing he did seemed to vex or ruffle her. So what if he called her, Aidan mused; what would he say? Tell her how much he abhorred the holidays because it reminded him of how lonely he was? That the winter season in general made him feel twenty years older than his age because of his leg, and as a matter of fact, he was looking forward to just getting home and massaging the ache away, something he’d have to live with the rest of his life? Liya would pity him even more. Right. If he let her into the recesses of his mind, the next thing would be for her to skip over to his

apartment with a mug of warm milk to help him fall asleep. No thanks. She was just a child playing at being a grownup. He had to remind himself of that. Had to remind himself that it was only the woe induced by an overblown holiday that seared the imprint of her breasts straining against the fabric of her sweater this morning into his mind. Aidan shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He might not love Liya, unsure even how much he liked her, but at this point it went without saying. Aidan Keegan was a faithless man, lusting after his young receptionist. At the same time a squall of wind blustered, slashing his face and causing his coat to billow at the ends. Aidan sighed. It seemed even the elements were in accordance with his selfassessment. He shoved his hands deeper into the coat pockets and carried on through the dusk.

Chapter Two Monday morning, Liya arrived at work, greeted by an empty slush-filled parking lot. There was no sign of Aidan’s black BMW sedan. Although it was her obligation to open and ready the clinic for the day ahead, Aidan took it upon himself to arrive first or at least within minutes of her arrival. Winding toward the entrance, Liya reflected on the situation. Maybe it was for the best Aidan hadn’t shown up as yet. For starters, she could no longer tease him that he made a horrible and obvious stalker as he drove up beside her each morning, to which he always rolled his eyes and in a dry tone asked if she was ready to get serious with work. Key in hand, Liya grasped the doorknob, pausing at the sleek lull of an engine rolling to a halt. Aidan. She zeroed in on the car, slightly annoyed to see Dr. Northrop exiting the Land Rover, his glasses fogged. Liya frowned. Usually the man showed up later in the week at the clinic, administering to the patients in Aidan’s absence when his presence was a necessity over at Mansfield General. Her heart plummeted all the way below her now-wobbly knees and onto the muddy snow. Did this mean something happened to him? Her questions and comments had angered him. Oh God, had she plunged a knife deeper into his wounds? Liya’s hands felt clammy, and the metallic taste of fear clung to her taste buds, burning the moisture from her mouth. What if Aidan had hurt himself…on purpose? “Good morning, Liya.” A smile broadened Dr. Northrop’s face. No outward sign of ill tiding. Her shoulders sagged in blessed relief and her heartbeat trotted to a steady pace. She extended a hand. “Morning, Dr. N. If you’re here to see Aid— I mean Dr. Keegan, I’m afraid he’s not here yet.” The man chuckled, clearly amused that she had almost referred to Aidan by his first name. Blood raced up her spine. The last thing she needed was for anyone, let alone a colleague of Aidan’s, believing she had anything less than utmost respect for him as a professional. “It doesn’t matter to me what you call him,” Dr. Northrop interjected. “Aidan’s not the one I came here to talk to. It’s you, young lady. I have an invitation for you.” “Me?”

Dr. Northrop grinned in a patient manner. “Yes, you. A couple of the other doctors are gearing up for a holiday weekend up at Bear Ridge. We have a cabin all ready to go. You’re a member of the team, so how about it?” Liya blinked. This was unexpected. She had already started her preparation for a holiday alone, which basically meant doing nothing at all. Sure, her two best friends had invited her to their family celebration, but as always she had declined the offer, not wishing to be relegated to third wheel on such an important holiday. As Dr. Northrop’s words sank in, excitement bubbled then deflated like a popped balloon just as quickly. Aidan. He was the problem. These people were his colleagues, if not friends. If he were going to be there, surely her presence would be out of the question. “Will Dr. Keegan be there? I’m not sure it’s a good idea—” “Aidan has other plans. He won’t be there.” Dr. Northrop’s brows shot up to his temple. “Why?” “No particular reason. I just didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable since I seem to do quite a bit of that during the workdays.” “Yeah, well, it’s a damn good thing for him, I’ll tell you that much. So can we count on your lovely presence, Miss Emerson?” Liya blushed. She doubted Dr. Northrop would like knowing his comment was on the same level as that of an elderly man doling out compliments. “Yeah, I’m in. Thanks for the invite, by the way.” The doctor rubbed his hands together as if more than satisfied by her answer. “All right. We’ll all meet up on Friday.” He whipped out a business card, flipped it over and handed it to her. “You already have the address and map drawn out?” Liya asked, her voice heightened in disbelief. “Sure do. I was hoping you’d say yes.” “And you’re sure Aidan won’t be there?” “Nope, Aidan won’t be there, my dear. Don’t worry.” She felt like kicking herself for her slip of the tongue and for causing that knowing smirk on Dr. Northrop’s face. Damage control. “I respect Dr. Keegan,” she said formally. “That’s all. You know that, right?” Dr. Northrop patted her shoulder. “I know, Liya. Like I said, don’t worry about it. It’s the holidays. Never know what might happen, right?”

“Um, okay. Will you also be there?” She hoped not. He was acting a bit too creepy for her taste today. His resounding laughter put her at ease. “No. The wife’s family is flying down for Christmas and well, if I ever want to keep breathing, I better stay home.” Later, after Dr. Northrop exited the parking lot, Liya sat alone in the clinic, double- checking the appointment roster. She tapped a pen on the desk and slid a glance to the clock on the wall. If Aidan didn’t get here in ten minutes, she would ring up his cell phone. The number was in her phone and only to be used in case of emergencies at the clinic, so no matter how often the temptation struck to call him, she knew it was impossible. “I’m sorry for being so late.” Liya swiveled in the direction of Aidan’s gruff voice as he came in through the doorway, his gait awkward. His grayish brown hair was brushed backward toward his nape and the suit he wore looked crisp, as if he had ironed it this morning. But the faint tinges of redness in his eyes, coupled with the lines below his lids, were unmistakable, and obvious to a chronic insomniac like herself. “How long did you stay at the hospital last night?” She followed Aidan into the back room and poured him a cup of coffee. “Thanks.” He sipped the drink and scrubbed a hand above his forehead. “Ten.” “Oh.” That wasn’t very late. She should have known work wasn’t the culprit of his sleepless nights. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” Liya added quietly. “You’re just a receptionist. I hardly think it’s appropriate for you to have an opinion on what I can and cannot keep doing.” Liya jerked the coffee pot down with a definitive thud. This was ridiculous. The kiss, yes, she could understand his ire on that issue. It had been a brazen move on her part, and regardless of how innocent her intentions were it never should have occurred. But, just a receptionist? Honestly, the stubborn man had to sense the attraction too, on some level––why else would he be jumping through hoops to avoid her lately? “That’s not true and we both know it.” Aidan’s large hand kept a death-grip around the ceramic mug, and Liya was surprised it didn’t crumble beneath the pressure. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. If I’ve ever given you the

impression…” He blew out a breath, stopped, clenched his jaw, and then continued in a hushed tone. “Don’t do this to me, Liya. Not today.” So, there was more to this, as she suspected all along. His lack of a denial was the closest to an admission she was going to get out of him today. “Why didn’t you sleep last night?” He shook his head and released a sound, in between a snort and wonderment. “I don’t understand you. Why do you keep at it with me? I’m not worth the effort. I—” He was acknowledging her feeling. Her heart raced, slamming against her ribcage in a finely tuned cadence. Did he realize what he was saying or was he too tired and weary to mask his feelings right now? She didn’t care. Liya angled her head and crushed her lips to his. This kiss. This was the one she would never regret or apologize for. Before he had a chance to react, she straightened as if nothing had happened. “What kept you up?” she asked casually. “Talk to me, Aidan.” He brushed a hand across his lips in a subtle movement. “Aidan?” “Yes, Aidan. Do you mind?” His features relaxed. “I don’t mind it. I apologize for what I said earlier about you being just a receptionist.” “I figured you didn’t mean it. So I’ll let it slide.” “It’s difficult sometimes. Most days I don’t feel like I should be here. Like I don’t deserve to be here.” He shook his head and issued her a tepid smile. “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you? Be happy you haven’t experienced a loss in your young life.” If only he knew. She raised her chin a notch. “What makes you think I haven’t?” “Who have you lost?” His tone was a mixture of incredulity and challenge. Her throat constricted. “I lost my younger brother four years ago. It was just the two of us and I basically took care of him from day one. So, yeah I know all about it, Dr. Keegan. Age means shit in the grand scheme of things. Tell that to a kid who just lost both of her parents.”

He replaced the mug on the counter and gave a single nod. “I’m sorry for assuming. You’re right, you can’t tell everything about a person because of their age.” “Especially if that person doesn’t share their problems.” The lines around his eyes crinkled as his lips twitched. “You don’t give up, do you?” She widened her eyes for emphasis. “Never. Those who love me are used to it. You’ll get used to it too.” The second the words skidded from her lips she realized the error in how it could be perceived. “I mean…” Liya fumbled, tripping over the words. “You know I didn’t mean it the way it sounded, right?” And just like that, Aidan’s face became impassive. “The patients should be arriving soon. There’s an eight-thirty appointment, correct?” She nodded, switching to receptionist mode. “Ricky Wallace, asthma problems.” Aidan was back to business. Untouchable, to everyone but those in his memories. “If he’s out there you can send him into room three in a minute.” “All right. I’ll be up front.” The urgency to continue their conversation welled inside her chest. Resignation fluttering through her, Liya returned to her desk up front. One hour careened into another and another with nary a word from Aidan. By the time lunchtime rolled around, Aidan maintain his staunch silence, all the while tucked away inside his office. Determined, Liya turned the corner to his small office. How interesting. Not only was he intent on depriving himself of sleep, now starvation was in the plan. Without a doubt he needed her help. She knocked once on the door before slowly pushing it open and sticking her head through the crack. Oblivious to her approach, Aidan sat with his head hung low, deeply engrossed in a medical book. Liya used the time to study his profile. A day’s worth of hair darkened his jawline. His aquiline nose reminded her of a painting depicting battle-worn Roman soldiers she had seen in an art museum downtown. While she wouldn’t go so far as to place Aidan in the category of hot, he was actually quite handsome in a quiet, unassuming way. Maybe that was the reason she had refused to

analyze her feelings and reactions to him up until two months ago. It was impossible to view him as just her boss, when she was so acutely aware of him as a man. A man she was very attracted to, but knew was off limits. Be that as it may, Aidan was a male and she was a female who wanted to experience passion with someone special. And that someone happened to be Aidan Keegan. She snuck another peek at him before hurrying out of the clinic and meandering through the plaza to a nearby Chinese restaurant. Liya popped back into the clinic and down the corridor to Aidan’s office. Her eyes bulged, threatening to pop out of their sockets. He was exactly as she’d left him, except this time he was scribbling notes in a book, laid out beside the heavy text he had been reading. She rapped her knuckles against the door, coughing loudly when he didn’t look up. “Aidan?” “Whatever it is, it has to wait,” he snapped. Liya shrank backward, stunned at his tone. His head remained in the book. “I bought lunch for us.” She held up the bag, waving it in the air. His head rose, confusion sketched across his features as if he just recognized she was standing there. His eyes softened before he lowered his head once more. “I’m not hungry. You go on and eat.” Ignoring him, Liya strutted into the room and closed the door. She gritted her teeth and padded over to his desk. “I think today might very well be my last day, after you hear what I have to say.” A muscle ticked at the corner of his eyes. He slammed the book shut. “What exactly is it you have to say?” Liya drew in a rush of air. “You miss your wife so much, you’re trying to work yourself into an early grave. Maybe so you can be with her.” There was no stopping her now. “I like this job, but if you feel you have to fire me, then so be it. I’m not going to remain silent any longer. You’re a wonderful man, Aidan. I’m sure your wife was wonderful too, or else you wouldn’t be hurting so much.” She bunched her fists to keep from reaching out to him. A man like Aidan would only view it as weakness if he allowed himself to be comforted by her. “Is this what you think she’d want from you? You’re alive. It’s such a tremendous gift. Please don’t close yourself off from being happy again.”

He laughed scornfully. “And just who am I supposed to be happy with? Look at me. I don’t feel like a wonderful man, Liya. I feel like someone who should have been dead and buried years ago.” She shook her head at him slowly. “You don’t mean that.” Aidan let out a ragged breath and closed his eyes. When he spoke, his tone was so quiet with an air of defeat that made her heart splinter into a million pieces for him. “I’m not a young man anymore. I don’t even know if I’d have anything to offer to someone.” Liya had never seen him or anyone so broken. And he was laying it all out in front of her. Her fingers itched to enfold Aidan and whisper into his ear how much she valued and wanted him. She couldn’t. Now wasn’t the right time. She had to be strong for him. “You’re right about one thing,” she said calmly. “You definitely won’t have anything to offer if you think women are attracted to skin and bones. Which you will be soon, at the rate you’re going.” She dropped the bag in his lap. “Eat. I’ll be up front.” One hand on the door, Liya spun around to peer at him. “Don’t forget my offer from last week, okay?” “I won’t, Liya. Thank you. Again.” **** Aidan pushed away the empty box of chicken lo mein. His stomach was full, thanks to Liya, who it seemed was more in tune with his body than he himself. He didn’t understand her. She was a pretty young girl and yet she spent most of her days concentrating on him at the clinic. It made no sense, and furthermore, he doubted he was her type. He looked at the discarded box and heard himself snapping at her less than an hour ago. Shameful. A fresh wave of anger broke to the surface at his treatment of her. He massaged a crease in his temple, hating the turn of his thoughts, always leading back to Liya. No more. He allowed his gaze to trail upward until it landed on the picture of him and Sarah. He missed her so much, which made his interactions with Liya all the more disconcerting. The voluptuous girl confused him and roused emotions he thought were long dead and buried, with Sarah and their daughter. He didn’t want to feel this way, especially when he knew Liya wasn’t going out of her way to flirt with him, but instead was the type of person who cared about others, maybe too much so.

Still, there was a lot to be said for having such attention from a woman, and it turned out Aidan Keegan was just like any other man— weak and unable to resist the lure of a nubile female. Moreso when said female was soft, fleshy and dripped sensuality with every swish of her shapely hips and rounded bottom, which were more than a handful. Even worse yet: when said female seemed oblivious to her own charms. Aidan looked down at his groin and no surprise, saw an erection there. He curled his lips and forced himself to relive the moment he had lost everything. That had to work, to calm the unfaithful thing swelling within the confines of his briefs. The harrowing sound of metal clashing against metal echoed in his eardrums. Sarah’s blood-curling screams drowned out everything else, weakening his arousal. Good. Liya Emerson could never compete with those memories. Those memories were his weapons against the hold she tried to have on him. With that thought in mind, Aidan reached across his desk for the cell phone he had placed on silent. Aware of the two missed calls from his former in-laws, Aidan forced himself to return the call. They were awaiting confirmation that he’d dine with them for yet another Christmas. For fourteen years, he and Sarah had spent every single holiday with her family. His own parents had passed away when he was a child and he was grateful for how readily the Delacroix’s had taken him in as one of their own after he and Sarah began dating, but being there year after year in the mournful atmosphere was taxing on him. His heart no longer wanted it, couldn’t take it. He had to let them know this year was the beginning of change. On the second ring, the rusty voice of Simon Delacroix could be heard issuing a greeting. “Aidan. Nice to hear from you.” Aidan grimaced. He knew the man was being genuine and it stung to think of hurting his in-laws. “I apologize for not calling before, Simon.” Mr. Delacroix brushed him off. “No problem, Aid. I know you’re busy. How’s that clinic of yours running, anyway? Heard you’ve doing a heap of good in the area.” “It’s going fine. Thanks for asking. It’s not just me, however. Everyone’s been putting in a lot of hours to make it work.” Booming laughter vibrated through the phone. “Modest to a fault. You’re the best doctor in the whole damn state, Aidan, and my son-in-law. Hell, yes, you should be proud and take some credit. In

fact I was just telling a buddy of mine about this clinic you’ve opened. Not a lot of people would go into that area. Those people should be lucky to have you.” Aidan ground his teeth. He felt uncomfortable, always had when his in-laws spoke about his work. The Delacroix’s made him seem like he was making a sacrifice when he mentioned to them the clinic he wanted to open. He knew they were proud of him, had been and supported him every step of the way long before he graduated medical school and before he and Sarah were married, but he also knew his career and accomplishments were used as conversation piece around the Delacroix’s friends and acquaintances. “Well, “ Aidan continued. “Like I said, everyone’s putting in a lot of effort.” “Anyway, Aidan. I wanted to know what time you’ll be arriving on Christmas. The missus and I will be at a friend’s house and wanted to make sure we’d be home for your arrival.” Aidan pondered for a moment the best way to tell the only family he had left that after so many years he no longer felt comfortable being around them. “I’m sorry, Simon.” Better to be straightforward. “I’m not going to make it down to Concord this holiday.” A pronounced silence crackled through the other end of the line. He hoped his father-in-law hadn’t taken offense. “I think this year, I want, need to be alone. Your family’s always been so gracious and supportive, I hope there’s no hard feelings on this.” The seconds ticked by before Simon answered, his voice stilted. “There’s none, Aidan. We know you loved our daughter. If you need some time to spend the holidays alone, that’s on you. I don’t understand it, but I have to respect your choice. I only wish you’d keep in mind that Sarah might have wanted you to spend it with us. Keep the tradition alive.” His gut tightened. The man knew how to hit at him and was purposely making a tough decision even harder for him. Aidan shifted the phone at his ear and raked his vision upward to the framed picture high on the wall across the office. Guilt assailed him with the force of a hundred knives. Simon was right. He wasn’t thinking about Sarah. He was thinking only of himself. He wound his hand around the cell phone, his throat constricting. He should say something, tell Simon he

had changed his mind, but God help him there was an even stronger voice in his head telling him he needed to remain unwavering on this. A sharp knock registered at the door. Aidan watched as the door swung open. Liya stood at the threshold, brows drawn together. He lifted his gaze an inch. Their eyes connected. Goosebumps dotted his skin. He knew without a doubt she sensed the turmoil inside him. In that moment Aidan recognized the voice urging him to stay strong. It was the betrayer, that lonely and despondent part of him grappling for a fresh start: The part that wished to make new memories, and lessen the pain thriving within his heart. He took strength in her presence. “Sarah would have wanted me to do what I feel is best. Tell Barbara I said hello. I’ll talk to you later. Oh, and Simon, Happy Holidays.” Liya closed the door quietly and leaned against it. Unasked questions flickered in her eyes, seeking to know the cause of his distress. “That was my father-in-law.” She inched closer. “Did you argue?” Aidan stared at her unsure what to say. Were her eyes always that large and luminous? Suddenly it became hard to think. Question. Right, she had asked him a question. Yes, of course. He blinked and looked away. “We didn’t argue.” Her eyes were rapt with attention. Aidan wanted so much to confide in her. Not now. He didn’t trust himself to open up to her this very second. The emotions were too new and raw. Maybe later he would accept her offer to lend an ear. Much later, when his heartbeat no longer pounded in synch to the roar of blood rushing to his ears—he would think on it. She adjusted the gold-plated reindeer headband, which also appeared to be partially tangled in her riot of curls. “All righty, then.” She smiled at him and tapped the clipboard. “You know the deal.” He steeled himself against the warmth of her smile although the question niggled at him— did Liya flash that smile to everyone around her? A selfish part of him hoped not, that they were meant solely for him. “Who am I seeing?” He coughed into his fist, fighting for composure and hoping his traitorous cock wouldn’t spring to life because of her proximity. “Dennis Banks. Six years old and scared to death of doctors, according to his mother, that is.” She wrinkled her nose and

whispered conspiratorially. “Aidan, of course I had to let the little guy know you’re the best doctor in the world. Nothing to be afraid of, right? Dr. Keegan is completely harmless.” Something plummeted inside of him. What it was, he couldn’t say, only that Liya thought of him as harmless. An eighty-five year old man was harmless, and apparently so was he. Truth be told, he was. Past his prime, with a messed-up hand and a sometime limp. Innocent as her comment was, he had to wonder if Liya’s speech and behavior to him was so candid because she didn’t think he posed a threat to her sexually or emotionally. His male ego charged to the forefront. Stalking closer, he grated. “Nothing to be afraid of?” “I didn’t mean it like that,” she stammered. “I-I don’t see you like that.” Aidan swallowed, knowing he would later regret making a fool of himself. “No? How do you see me?” Old, lame, pathetic. He should have kept his mouth shut. Liya opened her mouth to answer, but Aidan refused her the chance. Terrified of what she might say, he straightened and reached for the clipboard. “I’ll have a look at the patient now.” He strode past her as Liya snagged a hold of his arm, her eyes soft, pliant and pleading. “Aidan. What’s wrong?” His name falling from her lips would surely do him in and make him forget about his past, the treasured memories he shared with the only woman he could ever, would ever love. Ignoring her, Aidan brushed off the offensive hand. He lumbered into the examining room, haunted by the stunned expression on her adorable face. An hour later, after attending to the six-year-old boy and his mother, and two other patients, Aidan watched from the backroom as Liya wrestled the reindeer headband from her hair and shoved it into her handbag then shucked into her coat. Yanking the white wool hat from off the rack, she placed it over her hair. A few strands of curls rebelled at the motion and clung to her nape. His fingers itched to tuck them back in. He couldn’t. Tonight he wanted to go over and say goodbye to her, and not just with a nod at a satisfactory job done today. Also impossible. The muscles in his injured leg tensed, resulting in a white-hot fire pain that set him on the edge. Aidan shifted his weight, but it was too late. Liya had the handbag slung

across her shoulder and was halfway out the door. Pivoting slowly, her eyes perused him, while her back went ramrod straight, her delicate jawline taut with undisclosed anger and hurt. And then her gaze lowered. He dare not move an inch. Liya had noticed his awkward stance. He braced himself and waited for the pity he knew would inevitably eclipse her features. It never came. She looked up just as quickly and spoke, her tone flat. “Good night.” Without another word she disappeared out the door. Aidan pushed to the front door, shoulders squared, and watched her walk into the frosty night, hands jammed inside her pockets to combat the cold. She must have forgotten her gloves again today. He wrenched the door wider then thought better of it. It was best to let her go. Seconds ticked by before he released the doorknob, satisfied by the flashing on her car’s blinker that she had merged safely onto the main street.

Chapter Three “Why are you so quiet tonight?” Liya turned to face her friend, Shawn. What was there to say, that she hadn’t been able to pay attention and enjoy the movie because instead of focusing on Ben Stiller’s latest antics, she was too preoccupied thinking and worrying about her boss? Neither Shawn nor his girlfriend Tasha, another longtime friend, would understand. While they both supported her decision to postpone attending university for two years, neither understood how painful it was to leave a family member alone in the hands of the medical system. If they didn’t understand something as delicate as her need to remain at her brother’s side, then chances were they’d be completely blindsided by her desire for Aidan. “I’m all right.” Liya shrugged. “I know it’s not Christmas yet but I guess I’m just already over the holiday season. It’s so played out. I can’t really see much to be cheerful about this year.” Shawn playfully bumped his shoulder against her. “C’mon. I could have sworn Tasha said you were excited about going on some kind of camping trip up at Bear Ridge.” Liya rolled her eyes and bumped him back, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. At least she had two good friends to count on. “Not a camping trip, dummy. It’s just a little get-together at a cabin with some of the medical staff from the clinic.” Shawn threw his arms around her in brotherly affection. “Ahh, so it’s like that, eh? What, some kind of big ol’ Christmas orgy going up there? Get that raise, Liya. ” Liya laughed aloud. “You’re sick. That would hardly be my idea of making my grand entrance in the world of the sexually act—” Laughter ceased as the words suffered a quick death on her lips. Her heart skipped a beat. Liya sucked in a breath of air, reminding herself to breathe. Seeing him here felt like ice water dousing her veins. Why did she choose this movie theater, less than a block from the hospital? Her eyes sought his and once again, the breath lodged in her throat as Aidan’s gaze slammed into hers. So cold, they revealed nothing, making it impossible to decipher his mood. Her first reaction was to jump away from Shawn so Aidan wouldn’t get the wrong impression,

but the memory of his coldness from yesterday clawed its way to the forefront. Screw Aidan Keegan. In fact she could care less at the way his eyes roved between her and Shawn. “Liya?” Shawn nudged her and whispered, “Why’s that dude looking like he wants to kill me?” Liya pretended not to hear him. Shawn was the least of her concerns right now. Straightening her shoulders and ramping up her brightest smile, she greeted Aidan. “Dr. Keegan, good evening.” She would be the bigger person in this. He shoved a hand inside his light blue surgical scrubs. She had never seen him in anything but the pressed shirts and ties he wore at the clinic. This had to be a night of him working with the medical students, demonstrating and allowing them to practice their surgical skills by his lead. He shifted his weight again. The movement was so subtle, she knew he hoped it would go unnoticed. By Shawn, yes, but definitely not her. Anxious, Liya waited to hear what words would befall his lips. True to form, Aidan remained silent, despite the glint of curiosity evident in his eyes and facial expression as he stared at Shawn’s arm still draped across her shoulder. A devilish happiness blazed inside her. She was glad he had seen her with another man. Good. Let him think I’m with someone. “Ms. Emerson.” He issued a curt nod, quickly averting his gaze. “I’ll see you at the clinic on Monday.” Liya seethed, fists clenched at her sides. Absolutely nothing from the man. Was it that hard to show some emotion, something…anything to hint at his feelings for her? She laughed inwardly. Why was she even surprised? Angered and unable to temper her stupid concern for him, Liya bit out, “Take care of that leg, sir.” His head jerked upward. Shards of ice glinted in his blue eyes. She swallowed a dose of regret at the attention she had brought to his leg. God knows the man tried hard to pretend it didn’t affect him. She braced herself for the backlash, the acerbic sting of his tongue and her dismissal as the clinic’s receptionist. “Thanks for your concern, Liya. I hope you enjoy the rest of the evening.” He looked like a man who had just received an eye opener. Disappointed, Liya watched him wading through the bodies on the sidewalk until the top of his head was no longer in her line of

sight. If it wasn’t for that damnable virtue called pride, she would have run to him, taken a hold of his hands and forced him to bare his soul. “Who was that?” Shawn’s voice knocked the sanity back into her. “Aidan.” Shawn leered at her. “Uh-uh. Is he one of the doctors who’s going to the orgy?” She no longer found the joke amusing. “No. He’s the head of the clinic I work at. My boss, and the chief of the cardiology department at Mansfield. He definitely won’t be there.” Shawn eyed her quizzically. “But you want him to be there, don’t you?” “Is it weird? I mean, he’s a lot older than me and he was even married before. His wife and baby died six years ago. And well, there’s the obvious. He’s white.” “Yeah, there’s that. Which one of those things you want my opinion on?” Liya pursed her lips and raised her brows. “All three?” Shawn smiled at her. “You don’t want or need my opinion, Liya. I saw the way you were looking at him, like you wanted to run after the guy.” “It’s that bad?” Oh, God. Had she been that obvious about it? Shawn must have noticed the panic on her face. “Yeah, it was that bad, but don’t sweat it. Your doctor friend didn’t notice. Dude looked like he was a million miles away. He’s clueless about your feelings, or the extent of it, I should say.” There was some relief to be had, she thought. If Aidan was in the dark then she could continue to work alongside him. Sure he might simply view her as the nice chubby girl fussing over him, but her concern was genuine and that was all that mattered. Yet Shawn’s assessment unnerved her. Until five minutes ago, Shawn had never seen or spoken to Aidan, and somehow he could tell right off the bat that Aidan was oblivious. The realization caused a sinking feeling to settle in the pit of her stomach. Was it because he had a hard time seeing her as a potential lover… girlfriend? She tried to blow it off. “Well, it’s not like I ever intended for him to know of my feelings.”

“Then what was the plan? Give ol’ dude puppy eyes for the rest of your life?” Ignore them. Pretend her body didn’t react every time he was nearby. That she didn’t want to feel his arms around her, know what his laughter sounded like, or what he would say if she got him to open up to her. “Keep them to myself,” she answered carefully, “like any sane person would do in this situation. I don’t see anything good that can come out of me revealing my feelings.” She laughed quietly, trying to lighten the mood. “Anyways, it’s not like I’m in love with him. I never said that.” In desperation, she glanced up at the stars. Where was a meteor when you needed one falling out of the sky to halt even the worst and most depressing conversations? No meteor, but Liya found herself breathing a sigh of relief to see her other friend Tasha bounding toward them. She moved aside, allowing the pixie-haired woman to slip in between her and Shawn. Slightly uncomfortable, she watched as the couple locked arms and kissed. Jealousy reared its head and for good reason. She had never held hands with anyone, at least not in intimacy. Being her brother’s main caregiver had left little time to concentrate on finding love. After his death, all she had wanted was to grieve and focus on getting her life in order. Developing an attraction to Aidan was the last thing she had expected or seen coming. “What did I miss?” Tasha asked. Shawn leaned forward, glancing at Liya. She returned his unvoiced question with a shrug. She didn’t expect him to keep secrets from his girlfriend. Instead, she waited for him to spill everything she had confided. Shawn held up his hands, palms outward. “Not my story to tell, T. You’ll have to drag it out of Liya.” Not wishing to remain the ever-constant third wheel, Liya excused herself and settled behind the steering wheel of her car. The drive though the city was as much peaceful as it was somber. Festive lights, each centered with a dazzling wreath or silver bell that stretched from one end of the street to the other, made the city come aglow. The gigantic Christmas tree glittering with tinsel and a golden star in front of the Walcott Hotel brought home the fact there was no Christmas tree or family waiting to spend the holiday with her. The last memory Liya had of sitting around the Christmas tree and celebrating was ten years ago. The summer afterward, both of her

parents were killed in a train wreck while traveling overseas, leaving her and her brother in the care of a distant relative who had a life of her own and didn’t appreciate the presence of children. Although she had never, probably would never, say this to Aidan, the work that he did, continued to do despite his injury, was among one of the many reasons she was attracted to him. Liya wondered if he took pride in the amount of lives he had saved and touched. Sure, he was paid for it, but with life, there was no price tag. It was the greatest gift. She only wished her brother could have had a longer one, much like that of Aidan’s— that Sarah could have been here to share a life with him. Liya bowed her head for a second, lifting it when the pang of jealousy and hurt no longer throbbed and battled for supremacy. She had no control over her past or Aidan’s. Furthermore, she had no control whatsoever over what Aidan felt or didn’t feel for her. Yes. That was all there was to it, Liya rationalized. A sense of calm overtook her senses. Across the distance, and beyond the city lights, Liya imagined the lush and vibrant landscape of the snowcapped pine trees and mountains. She found herself really and truly looking forward to the trip up to Bear Ridge. As much as she loved everything the city had to offer, the tranquility of nature was calling. Better yet, make that yelling out to her. The best thing was, without Aidan around she would finally be able to gain some much-needed perspective on how to handle him and return things to the way they were months ago, before she started to see him as so much more than her employer and a dedicated doctor.

Chapter Four Aidan knew he was behaving like a jealous bastard. But for him, knowing it and trying to curtail his anger were two vastly different entities. He had no reason to feel betrayed by Liya and yet he did. She was just a young girl, and it was ignorant of him to come to the premature conclusion that she didn’t have a boyfriend. For the past two weeks he’d tried not to think about Liya’s offer for him to call if the need existed. This evening after he had ushered a group of third-year medical students through a heart transplant surgery, a sense of loneliness assailed him unlike any he had ever known. Maybe it was bearing witness to the enthusiasm and naiveté on the faces of the students. Aidan wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, it kindled a spark within him and Liya was the only person he thought of that could help him through it. He wanted, needed to hear her voice. On the way home, he’d been petrified and nervous like a teenager at the chance of hearing her voice outside of the clinic. Aidan wanted to talk to her in the privacy of his apartment, to tell her things he had no right to. And now, days after their encounter along the boulevard, he had no reason to give Liya the cold shoulder, speaking to her only when deemed necessary because he’d seen her in the arms of another man. Worse, the guy had been young. He was so damn close to Liya’s age and also black—in essence, someone she would have so much more in common with than him. Get a grip, Keegan. Aidan raked a hand through his hair and checked his watch. It was the Friday before Christmas and the clinic was only open for half the day. On a whim last night he’d packed his bags and made the decision to venture up to Bear Ridge later that day. Despite James’s urging to spend the holiday there, Aidan hadn’t been sure. That is, until he had seen Liya, strolling and giggling with her male companion. He needed to get away. Eradicate her from his mind. The lure of the mountains and quietude would help him get back on track with his emotions. “I’m going to lock up now,” Liya remarked as she entered the back room. Aidan took a second from the shelf of immunization vials he was organizing and gave a brief jerk of the head. It was best to keep

conversation with her at a minimum, to avoid lashing out at her for his perceived betrayal. She cleared her throat and regarded him fiercely, although her words carried an air of acceptance. “I should stop coming here, shouldn’t I?” His heart hammered. Her question made perfect sense. “That’s up to you. You’ve been a valuable member of the staff here—” She snorted loudly. “Am I? Then why do you treat me like I don’t exist anymore? This week, for example, I can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve spoken to me.” Tension straddled Aidan’s shoulders. What did Liya wish to hear from him? “I haven’t had much to say to you. I’m not sure what you expected, were expecting, from me.” Her eyes rounded out into orbs before she pursed her lips. “Then I guess it’s settled. I won’t be coming back after today, Dr. Keegan. I hope you can find someone else to replace me after the holidays.” Aidan fought back a guffaw. She was dead serious, that much he could see. The new year had yet to kick off, and already it was looking worse than the previous one. Last year he didn’t have anyone he looked forward to seeing during the weekdays. Now all that was to be taken away from him when she left. He grappled for control and something to say to mask the vulnerability. “I suppose that’s understandable. I’m sure you’d like to have more time for your…personal life.” “You don’t know anything about my personal life, Aidan. Let’s not pretend.” His ears perked up. She had switched to his name again. He wished she would stick with it and stop the Dr. Keegan crap whenever she became angry, as well as the more heinous, “Sir”, as she had called him in front of her boyfriend. Once again the reminder of the other man in Liya’s life reeled in another wave of fury. Aidan stared her down, the anger smoldering into arousal that refused to be quelled. His cock hardened painfully. The provoking female standing before him was one hundred percent, all woman. There was nothing girlish about her, no matter how hard Aidan tried to tell himself she was simply a woman-child. Liya’s luscious curves made him pine to stroke his hands along her hips and plunge his cock into her over and over.

Voice low, Aidan asked, “Would your boyfriend approve of me calling you to talk, as you suggested? Or does he also think I’m harmless after seeing me last night?” She tilted her head and parted her bow-shaped lips, peering at him with a mixture of confusion and something else he couldn’t identify. Tenderness? Pity? He hoped it was the former. “Is that what this is about? You saw me outside of work and you’re upset that I was with someone?” He gritted his teeth. Why hadn’t he kept his mouth shut? Bitter old man. “Upset? You’re an employee here, Ms. Emerson, why should I be upset about your personal life?” She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay. Does that mean you planned on calling me, then? I want the truth. No games.” He wanted to lie to her, tell her not even in his darkest hour would he reach out to her. “Yes.” She gave a slow nod and advanced a step closer. “If it makes any difference, he’s not my boyfriend. You’re not the only one who’s lonely, Aidan and you’re not the only one who has been hurt. The only difference is I don’t wear my pain like a badge. You do, and I suppose my greatest wish for you is to toss it out.” She pressed a hand to his chest. His entire body went taut at the electrifying touch. “Would Sarah have wanted you to live like this?” Sarah. She had said his wife’s name. It felt like she had dashed a bucket of ice-cold water on him. Liya was talking about moving on. Commencing with life, marrying, having more children and all that was included in the life Aidan had wanted with Sarah. She meant for him to do those glorious things with another woman, when he had promised himself to keep Sarah and only Sarah in his heart. Liya was the proverbial temptress, enticing him to betray his promise. Every look, every silken word that fell from her lips made him covet the impossible. Suddenly, everything seemed all too real. His feelings for Liya. The possibility of moving on. It was too much. Aidan panicked. “You know nothing of what Sarah would have wanted.” He lifted her hand from his chest. “I’m only going to say this once to you: don’t ever mention her name or act like you know anything about the type of person my wife was.” “Thanks for the warning.” Liya glared while reaching over the counter for her handbag, never taking her eyes off him. “I doubt I’ll

see you again. In that case, Merry Christmas, sir, and take care of yourself. In spite of your attitude, you’re an amazing doctor and so many people depend on you. I only hope you won’t forget that.” He couldn’t seem to stop himself from talking. “That’s just it, isn’t it, Liya? If I didn’t have the clinic and my work at the hospital, what else is there for me? Would there be a reason for anyone to need me? I know my shortcomings.” “And I know mine, but that doesn’t mean I plan to spend the rest of my life alone.” Aidan let out a harsh breath. “What do you want me to do? What do you want me to say?” Liya’s fingers grazed the door handle. “For starters, you could wish me a ‘Merry Christmas’. Since this is likely the last time we’ll see each other, Dr. Keegan.” He was beside her in an instant, halting her motion with his hand above hers. Her quick intake of breath whistled across the room. Eyes bright and shiny, she held his gaze. So many damn promises inside those charcoal eyes, he thought. Liya was hanging on his every syllable and true to form, Aidan knew his next words would disappoint. “Merry Christmas.” She shook her head and quirked her lips to the side as if she understood everything that went unsaid. “Take care of yourself, Doc.” Seconds later, Liya was gone. Aidan thumped his fist against the wall. Was he going to allow her to walk away and possibly out of his life forever? Liya had said the man wasn’t her boyfriend, and the relief he’d felt upon hearing that was insurmountable. He had to get her. Aidan sprang toward the door and held the handle. His mind worked overtime, all of his insecurities tumbling and crashing into the next, upending his thoughts. What if he did go out there and stop her? What would happen if he grabbed Liya’s soft hands, crushing her to him and burying his face in her neck? Would he be rewarded with the feel of her soft arms around him? Would she tell him that he wasn’t just useful as a doctor, and that he could be the man for her? Could he even be the man for her? Aidan looked down at his leg. Liya was aware of the injury, but she was clueless about the damage and ugly scar that was left behind. On the other hand, Liya had seen him at his worst, limping and still, she continued to hint at her feelings for him.

He thought again about the horrendous curves life had slung his way. It wasn’t fair, that much was for sure. And it was more of a burden than one man should have to bear. At the same time, it was a refrain he was getting tired of repeating. He needed to call Liya before he left for the cabin. Allowing her to walk out of his life was not an option. Aidan whipped the cell phone from his pocket and dialed her number. If there was one thing he had learned about Liya, she was true to her word and kept her promises. The trill of the phone reverberated in his ear. Aidan crossed his fingers. His heart slammed inside his chest as he waited, hoping to hear her voice. On the fourth ring, her voice came through, faint and distant. “Hello?” “Liya?” “Hellooo?” she repeated, sounding confused amid the static in the background. Shit. She couldn’t hear him. No wonder, the connection was shot and in no time the phone reverted to the startup screen. Dropped call. Knowing Liya, her phone battery had died. Much like forgetting to wear gloves on the coldest morning, she had forgotten to keep her phone fully charged. Disheartened, Aidan tossed the phone on the counter. Useless. For now, he would leave her alone until after he returned from the cabin and the holiday atmosphere was behind them

Chapter Five The cabin was deserted. Outside in the cold, Liya surveyed the snowy landscape. It was just as she had imagined. Behind the cabin in the distance, the Appalachian Mountains stretched toward the overcast skies, shaded in a blanket of snow. Save for a chipmunk scampering across the sparse limb of a maple tree, which was flanked by several overgrown coniferous pines, she was alone. Unless she had hit her head and the date was wrong, it was Friday afternoon. She had expected to see the others milling about upon their arrival. Liya crossed the entrance to the log cabin and rang the doorbell. She pressed her nose to the chafing surface of the double window, peeking to see if anyone was inside. Not a soul. Frowning, she wondered if she had been tricked. But why? It didn’t make any sense. None of the doctors seemed mean-spirited. She trudged through the snow, the icy clumps coming all the way up to her bootclad calves, and made her way back to the car. Maybe they had cancelled the get-together and tried to contact her. She opened the driver’s side door and pulled her phone off the seat, recalling that Aidan had also attempted to contact her before the connection flatlined. The battery was dead. No wonder. She sighed and slumped against the driver’s-side door. What a bust. She wasn’t ready to trudge back down the mountain slope and spend Christmas alone. The drive back would be exceptionally grim in light of the disappointment. Mind made up, Liya eased into the seat, pausing at the distant sound of an approaching car in the falling snow. She ambled out and slammed the door. If it hadn’t been for the pelting snow she would have immediately recognized the sedan. Liya blinked and squinted her eyes against the mist Aidan! That was Aidan’s car. Her mind whirred. What was he doing here? She leaned against a tree and waited for his car to brake. She hadn’t expected to see him again. Blood coursed through her veins so hot, the winter’s eve seemed like a late spring afternoon. Her heart bubbled with excitement. She maneuvered out into the open. “Aidan?”

His eyes scanned the area before bringing his attention to her, confusion plain as the stubble of hair on his jaw. “Liya, what are you doing here?” She forced a smile. “I could ask you the same thing.” Brows furrowed he continued to gape at her as if she had lost her mind. “I asked you a serious question. How did you find out about this place and what are you doing here?” “I came here to spend the holiday.” She frowned and looked around at the emptiness. “At least I thought I did.” “How did you get the address?” “What’s wrong with you?” She didn’t like his tone implying that she had done something wrong. “Dr. Northrop invited me here for the holidays, but it looks like they might have canceled and tried to contact me. What are you doing here?” “This is my cabin.” Oh God. She almost staggered. “You’re not lying?” He remained stoic. Embarrassment crept high up her neck. She flustered, suddenly feeling out of place and unwelcomed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. When he invited me I asked if you’d be coming. He never hinted that the cabin belonged to you. I assumed this was his place.” “The cabin belongs to me and Sa—” “And Sarah,” she finished for him. He blinked as if he hadn’t realized what he was on the verge of revealing. She laughed it off. Better that than to let him know it wounded her pride that she was never in the forefront of his mind. “I get it, Aidan. Like I said, I thought this was Dr. Northrop’s cabin and that the others would be here. No harm done, right?” She swung over to the car, wishing nothing more than to leave him in peace. “I built this for her,” he said quietly. “For us. It was finished a month before the accident.” He stared into her eyes. “It was supposed to be a new start for us after we found out about the pregnancy.” Liya nodded. She couldn’t fault him for holding on to his memories. She guarded the memories of her parents and brother fiercely. Nothing would ever delete those precious people from her heart or mind. “Are you spending Christmas here? What about your inlaws?” His lips quirked, giving him a boyish appearance. “They’ll be fine without me this year.”

“All right. I’m gonna leave now.” She issued him a rueful smile. “I’m sorry you came here and saw me.” He stood beside her as she rested her hand against the car door. Taking in a tremulous breath, Liya turned to him. She hoped her words would give him some peace. “If I could find a way to give her back to you, I would. I swear it, Aidan. I know that might not mean much to you at this point, but I want you to know I get it. You don’t have any space left in your heart.” His lids lowered as he stalked closer. “And if I did? What if I wanted to make space for someone else, do you think it’s that easy? Who would want to be with me?” He was testing her. She held his gaze. “I would. I’d want to be with you, Aidan Keegan. I know the man who exists beneath the sadness.” “Do you feel sorry for me, Liya? Are you thinking of ways to bring some Christmas joy into an old man’s heart?” “Don’t diminish my feelings for you.” “I never should have hired you,” Aidan confessed, his voice taking on a raspy edge. “I should have slammed the door in your face and told you to stay the hell away from the clinic.” Liya folded her arms. “But you didn’t.” “Why are you making this so damn hard? I came here to find some peace. You walked out of the clinic. I tried to call you today and I thought––” He paused and lowered his head, letting out a loud whoosh of air before lifting his head. Stormy eyes greeted her. “Damn it, Liya, I thought it was the last time I would see you.” Liya gazed at him. “You care? Would it bother you if we never saw each other again?” All she needed was an affirmation from him. Something to show he cared as much as she did. “I care. God help me, I shouldn’t, but I do.” Liya hedged closer, seizing the moment. “Do you want to spend this holiday alone, Aidan?” His eyes held hers captive, pain as harrowing as the blade of a sledgehammer, slicing into her. It all became clear to her. Aidan was a man fighting an internal battle. He didn’t want to be alone, but was terrified of starting over. Slowly, he shook his head. The guilt and confusion flickering across his face caused her chest to wheeze in anguish. Aidan thought he was weak for allowing himself to feel again. Liya swallowed back

the nerves and hurt feelings. She cared too much about him to let him suffer alone, even if it meant wearing her heart on her sleeve and relinquishing her pride. “Three days,” she stated. “We have the weekend together. For three days, Aidan. Let’s pretend it’s just us. No past. Nothing between us. I won’t ask for a commitment from you and you won’t do the same to me. After that, I’ll walk away.” She could see the rise and fall of his chest as he contemplated. “You don’t know what you’re suggesting.” “I do,” she beseeched, placing a hand on his chest. “Let me take care of you. We’ll take care of each other for these three days, and then you’ll go back to your life and I’ll return to mine. No guilt, Aidan. It’s not like there’s a chance of you losing your heart to me. Sarah will still be your number one.” “It’s not fair to you…” Anticipation dripped from Aidan’s words. He wanted this as much as she did. Needed it. Liya locked her eyes with his, hoping Aidan could see the honesty and candor within. “I don’t want to spend the holiday alone. We’re two adults, right? I just want to pretend for a little bit how it could have been between us. I know you do, too. You can’t lie to me about that. I know what’s deep inside you, beneath all those layers.” He glanced at her hand on his chest. “I never realized how selfish I was until this moment.” Touching his forehead to hers, he whispered, “I want that so much, sweetheart. God help me, Liya. I don’t want to be alone either.” Liya felt his body relax into her touch. Carefully, she weaved her arms around his waist and held him close. “We don’t have to be. It’ll be just you and me. Aidan and Liya. Just three days and then you can return your heart to her.” His lips brushed across her cheek and she felt his warm breath against her ear like a lover’s caress. “Don’t make me lose my heart to you, Liya. I can’t do that, sweetheart. Please don’t make me lose my heart.” Her heart ached for him. Pangs of jealousy stabbed at her, seeing the devotion he had for Sarah. What it must have felt like to be loved by him. She stroked her fingertips to his jaw. “I won’t take it from you. That much I can promise you.” I want you to give it to me willingly. Aidan cupped her chin and swept his lips against her mouth. “Welcome to my cabin.”

Jerking back her head, she laughed, joyous tears clinging to her lashes. Finally, they were just a man and a woman––nothing more, nothing less. “Was the kiss a part of the welcome?” Aidan clasped her tighter to his frame. “Unplanned, but something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” He regarded her in earnest. “Are you a hundred percent sure about this?” Was that a tremor in his voice? Liya gazed up at him. Aidan was dead wrong. What she felt for him had nothing to do with pity or sympathy. And while her actions were meant to bring him a measure of happiness, her moves were not entirely unselfish. She was in love with Aidan Keegan and if she wouldn’t be allowed to have him forever, then these precious few days would remain with her long after they went their separate ways. “You can change your mind, and we could stay here and—” “Go back to being Dr. Keegan, entertaining his receptionist?” she asked, cutting him off. His dark brows narrowed. “You were never just a receptionist.” “You’re neglecting the point. Is that what you truly want?” Jaws clenched, he brushed a snowflake from her cheek. “No, Liya. That’s not what I want for this Christmas.” A fist clamped and squeezed around her heart. Although he said what she wanted to hear, it stung nonetheless that he made sure to emphasize that it would only be for Christmas. She padlocked it away deep in the recesses of her mind. It was what she wanted, after all. “All right.” She hooked her arm through his. “You can give me the grand tour later on.” Liya craned her neck and looked to the left as they hedged to the entrance, bags in hand. Beyond an expanse of pine trees, she could barely make out what appeared to be a pond covered in ice. “Does all of this belong to you?” She grinned. “If it does, then I guess surgeons must really be rolling in it, huh?” A shadow crossed Aidan’s face. “I’m not a surgeon anymore. You know that. And to answer your question, just about everything you can see encompasses the property.” “If you’re not a surgeon, then what on Earth are you doing teaching those students and how could they leave you in charge of an entire department?” He held the door open and placed her bag alongside his on the floor. “This isn’t a joke.”

“I wasn’t joking,” she countered. “I’m sure you miss practicing what you love, but you have to realize the amount of people you’re helping. The amount that you’ve helped already.” Kicking the door shut, Aidan eyed her with undisguised interest. “What about you, Liya? Is this your way of helping, doing your part for mankind? How many men have you made this offer to?” His face seemed harsh, unforgiving. If his insinuation weren’t so laughable, she would be insulted…except for the hope that the scent she detected in the air was the aromatic perfume of jealousy. Aidan Keegan, jealous of non-existent liaisons? She really hoped so. “How many do you think?” Liya was hardly the seductress. If not for her burgeoning love for him, she never would have issued such a brazen invitation, especially when there was the slight fear that Aidan might not appreciate, for lack of a better term, her extra pounds. But, Aidan did seem to need her as much as she needed him, and for now, that was more than enough to keep Liya’s feminine insecurities at bay. She was not going to back down, or back away from him. “I’d rather remain in the dark,” he muttered. “I’ve never been with anyone,” Liya confessed. “I’ve told you that I spent the last couple of years caring for my brother. After he passed away, I registered for my first year at Vermont State. Between work and college, there was never any time or anyone I considered special enough.” His face closed up. Aidan shook his head as if in afterthought. “All this does is let me know what we’re about to do is wrong. You need to wait for the right man, sweetheart— someone who is going to cherish you and give you his entire heart. Everything you deserve. There’s nothing special about me. I’m just a selfish bastard willing to take advantage of you.” Vehemently, she shook her head. Liya stood on the balls of her feet and murmured against his lips. “I’m selfish too.” She circled an arm around his waist. “This will work. I promised I wouldn’t take your heart, remember? I won’t. I swear to you, I won’t. We can make love the entire time, get it out of our systems. I won’t ever stop by the clinic again, Aidan. We won’t have to see each other.” Aidan embraced her as if he was afraid to let go and buried his face in the hollow of her neck. “Oh God, Liya. I can’t do this anymore, sweetheart. I can’t do it alone.”

Her eyes widened and her heart quivered. Instead of pushing her away, what she feared he would have done, Aidan lifted her in his arms. Cradling her like a baby, he strode down the hallway, footsteps unhurried. Once inside the bedroom, he nestled her in the middle of the bed then stepped away. Fully clothed and on her back, Liya studied the war raging in Aidan’s features. Her gaze drifted lower to the evidence of his arousal, a massive erection pressing against his jeans. “Aidan?” She raised her hips and wriggled out of the jeans, then slid her thighs open, praying he would see the move as an invitation to come closer to her. His eyes settled between her legs, with nothing but simple cotton underwear shielding her from his view. She could see the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he reached for the belt buckle then stopped. He dropped his hands to the sides. Liya swept her tongue across her lips. She couldn’t take her eyes off the sight of him and the erection so thick and hard straining for release from those pants. How could he not be in pain from it? Worse, didn’t Aidan know how badly she wanted to feel his cock thrusting within her wet heat? The man was going to be his own downfall. Hell if she was going to lie back and allow him to deny them both. She straightened on the bed. Back arched, Liya crawled on her knees in front of him. Her fingers teased along his groin. “Is it painful?” she asked softly, noting the way he held himself rigid, sucking in a breath. “How long has it been?” She petted him through the fabric, stroking gently with the back of her hand. “Please, Aidan, how long has it been since you’ve allowed yourself to feel a woman’s touch, to have someone lay next to you and keep you warm?” A groan escaped him as he held her wrist and moved it faster on his shaft. When he answered, it was as if the answer had been ripped from him. “Forever.” He closed his eyes and jerked his hips. “It’s been forever, sweetheart.” The agony in his voice was palpable, touching her very soul. She wanted to know more. Wanted to know everything about Aidan and how to please him physically and emotionally. Liya nibbled her lower lip. “I want to see you.” She fiddled with the button on his jeans. A fleeting look of panic took a hold of him. He glanced downward at his left leg, the injured leg. Of course, Aidan was

worried she would see the visual extent of his injury. “It’s all right. You won’t have to let me see your leg until you’re ready,” she soothed. “Let me see you, Aidan.” She popped open the button and begged him once more. “Please, let me see you?”

Chapter Six “I want to see you, too.” Aidan couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. But once they had gotten into the bedroom and he’d laid her on the bed with her legs sprawled, his cock, already rock-hard, quickly turned to lead. Kneeling before him, her smooth back was straightened and neck elongated to look at him. He could see the telltale signs of her nervousness. Her small hands were trembling against the front of his pants. He hadn’t expected that, yet it delighted him like nothing else. She peeled her sweater overhead, allowing it to fall to the side of the bed. Slowly, Liya lifted her head, masses of dark curls swaying lightly from the subtle motion, and met him with a smoldering gaze. Aidan swallowed hard, his eyes riveted to the sight of her hands, reaching around the expanse of her back. Oh God, she was going to bare her breasts to him. Blood coursed rampant through his prick. She freed the hook. Her breasts. Sweet Jesus. Air constricted in his throat, making it difficult for Aidan to breathe. Her breasts were the loveliest pair of tits he had ever had laid eyes on. Bronze-shaded, they were a smidgen lighter than the rest of her body. The areola looked much darker and the nipples were so damn thick, he wanted to bury his face there and suckle her like a newborn baby. Aidan flexed his hips and drew in a ragged breath. It was the only thing he could do to offset the ache in his groin and balls. It wasn’t working. He took in another eyeful of her breasts. Unable to help himself, Aidan let out a groan. He was surprised he hadn’t tackled her to the bed and feasted on those breasts the very second she released the bra. Her eyes flew open at the break in silence. Uncertainty flashed in her eyes. “They’re too big, aren’t they?” She said it as if it was a flaw. Whatever had her thinking like that, he was going to remedy it. “They’re not too big. They’re perfect, sweetheart.” He padded a finger across the tip of a dark nipple. It beaded under his touch. Lowering his head, Aidan kissed the sensitive bud. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more gorgeous pair of breasts before.” He would burn in hell for his betrayal of Sarah, but it was the honest truth. He cupped the soft mounds in each hand, enjoying the divine weight, so wondrously heavy in his palms and totally irresistible. He had to suck them tonight. Now. His cock throbbed in excitement.

Aidan lowered his head and drew a nipple between his lips. A decadent moan slid from Liya’s full lips. He sucked harder and fondled the left breast. He couldn’t believe it: Liya, sweet and generous, offering her ripe body to him this way. She writhed against him and stroked his hair, tiny mewling escaping her with each tug on the delicious flesh. More. Dear God, he needed more. Her breasts were made for comforting a man. Aidan cinched an arm around her back and held her to his mouth. “Don’t stop,” she pleaded. Liya laced her fingers through his hair, her breath coming out in rasps. He only had his mouth on her breasts and already she was this needy. His cock swelled at the possibilities. His balls grew heavy, brimming with sperm and begging for release inside Liya. Release. His mind shuddered at the thought, threatening to diminish the pleasure. “Aidan,” she sighed, “I want to feel your hands on me. Down there.” He steadied his gaze on her face, feeling almost certain he had spilled inside his briefs at her innocent request. Shaking, he caressed the inside of her thigh. His hand slid upward, cupping her sex though the thin layer of fabric that kept him from her moist flesh. Blood pounded in his ears and rushed to his cock. His mind teetered on the brink. He was touching Liya. Liya, his receptionist and the woman who refused to leave him to wallow in his misery. His hands were on her pussy. There was no going back now. When the three days were up, then he would pay the price for this hedonism. Hands. She had asked for his hand to stroke her, but he would give her a lot more tonight. Aidan looked down at himself. He was a starving man, and Liya was the only one able to satiate him. He needed to make sure she was ready for this. “If I touch you…” Aidan paused and arched a brow, echoing her words, “…down there, I won’t be able to stop. I need to get inside you, sweetheart.” He leveled his forehead to hers. “Can I fuck you?” he asked quietly. Not once in his entire life had he asked a woman so bluntly, but Liya was unlike any other woman he’d ever been attracted to. He petted the apex of her thighs, awaiting a definite answer despite the assurances from earlier. Liya showed him by slipping out of her panties and tossing them to the floor. Aidan watched rapt in fascination. A part of him felt like he shouldn’t be there witnessing the

breathtaking scene of Liya undressing. And yet, it was the one place he wanted to be the most. She knelt on the bed before him, her voluptuous body stark naked. A measure of guilt pulsed within him. Beneath all that bravado, Liya was just a young girl. He knew it, but not even that was enough to stop him from being selfish and accepting what she offered. “Aidan, “ she whispered, cupping the side of his face. “This isn’t wrong, okay? You’re entitled to be happy, not just sometimes, but all the time.” She kissed him and gave a warm smile. “And remember what I promised you. You’re safe from me.” Her words felt like tiny caresses fluttering over his heart. His Adam’s apple bobbed. She was scaring the shit out of him. He mashed his lips to hers, terrified of what else she might say, lest she shatter the fragments of sanity he clung to. “Lay back and let me look at you,” he murmured against her lips. She did as he commanded, although she was unable to disguise the tremor of fear from her pretty round face. “Hey now. Don’t be scared. I’m not going to hurt you, sweetheart.” Aidan traced the curve of her upper thighs and slid his hand over the thin layer of curls above her sex. He was surprised that he still held the power of speech, what with such an adorable pussy displayed for his viewing. More important, he was surprised he hadn’t climaxed the moment she splayed her thighs and allowed him a glimpse of her wet and slickened cunt. Aidan squeezed his cock from inside his jeans. It was engorged–– painfully so. He had never reached this point before, physically aching to be inside a pussy. He prayed that he would be able to last more than a minute inside Liya’s virgin cunt, after so many years of celibacy. He hooked his hands beneath her knees and held her open until her sex was spread wide and he could see the juices glistening on her folds. Her clitoris was puffy and distended with arousal. He peeked at her, saw her nibble that kissable bottom lip. In anticipation and excitement? Better be. Aidan groaned and pinned his focus once again between her thighs. Using two fingers he spread her pussy lips apart, then blew a soft kiss on the delicate bundle of nerves that ripened and plumped for him. Such a sweet little pussy, and the fullest clit he’d ever seen on any woman. So fucking juicy, awaiting his mouth or cock sliding against it.

Liya whimpered as he dotted kisses along the slit. Aidan delved his middle finger into her drenched opening. Her lips parted in shock and a loud sigh of pleasure escaped her. The sound sent shock waves through him. “No one’s ever touched you like this either, sweetheart?” He didn’t wait for a response and added another finger, thrusting against her barrier. Eyes closed, he took a deep calming breath, praying for restraint. Her cunt was tiny, more so than he expected, he thought feeling the heat rising in his neck. “I didn’t think you’d be this small,” he said throatily, pumping gently within her. . Her eyes glossed and she mumbled something he couldn’t understand. In her fever pitch, Aidan doubted she could form a coherent thought. He kissed her soft cheeks. She was lovely and he hoped she stayed exactly the way she was. His Liya. His chest swelled with pride at the intimacy she allowed him. “Aidan,” she moaned. “Hush.” He withdrew his fingers, content to simply pet and fondle her pussy. It was a sweet torture he devised for himself despite the protest of his aching cock, wishing to get free and have a go between her legs. “Do you need more, sweetheart? Are my fingers not enough for you?” She arched her back and spread her legs wider. “No. I need more, please.” Please. How sweetly she said it, too. He kissed her nape and rolled the swollen bud between his fingertips. “I should be the one down on my knees begging. Tell me you won’t regret this decision, Liya. Tell me so I can feel your wetness all over my cock.” Her teeth chattered. “S-swear I won’t.” Aidan nodded. No matter what happened he had to maintain some form of control. He couldn’t release inside her. “I don’t have any condoms. I didn’t expect this Christmas surprise.” Honeyed moisture trickled onto his fingers. Condom or not, he had to know what she felt like. She twined her arms around his neck and undulated her hips, seeking more of his fingers. “I just finished my period. It should be safe.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “Plus, I could never have any regrets with you.” His throat felt tight. When this was all over, he was going to make sure she never wanted for a single thing in life. It was the only

way he could show her what she meant to him. Anything else was impossible. “I’m going to fuck you now,” he rasped. God, it was hard to speak. Her lips widened into a sensuous smile as she lay backwards and splayed her thighs. “I’ve wanted you for a long time, Aidan.” Her words…She was strikingly honest, uncaring and looking so damn innocent, as if she had no idea how painful it was for him to maintain control. He tugged the shirt over his head and scrutinized her reaction. “Do I meet with your approval?” He hoped he could compete with the younger men in her eyes. She lounged on her elbows and nodded. “You do. But that’s not the reason I like and admire you. I’d still feel the same way about you if you were fifty pounds heavier with a head full of gray hair.” Aidan gaped in astonishment. He felt her words down to his soul. He kept silent, for the moment, afraid he would say something to turn his entire world and direction in life on its heels. She was too much of a temptation. He opened the belt. The room echoed with a deafening silence, save for Liya’s sharp intake of breath as he pulled the jeans and briefs past his hips. He had already told her he wouldn’t allow her to see his leg. There was something primitive, dark about having Liya deliciously naked on his bed while he remained almost fully clothed, with nothing but his cock thrusting forward, ready to fuck the naked siren lying on his bed. For once, Liya was at his mercy. “Do I still meet with your approval?” Aidan fisted the base and squeezed the tip, drawing out droplets of pre-cum. His cock jerked at the feel of her eyes on him. She moaned quietly and sank a tooth into her lip. Aidan groaned when she flicked her tongue across the injury. He wanted to taste those lips. Standing at the foot of the bed, he drew her legs around his waist. He wanted to see her face the moment he rammed into her wet pussy and tore through her virginity. Liya welded her arms about his neck as Aidan lowered his head and locked his lips to hers. Grasping his cock, he slid it up and down between her slickened folds. She was burning him. He wasn’t

even an inch inside and she was threatening to scorch him, render him helpless. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his lips against soft tendrils of hair, hovering above her earlobe. Straightening, he flexed his hips and surged forward, tearing through the bundle of tissues. Oh. God. He squeezed his eyes shut. His cock swelled and throbbed with a pulsating feral need. The onslaught of emotions and pleasure held him prisoner. Aidan threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling. Withdrawing, Aidan thrust deep again then repeated the action, driving into Liya without a single thought. “Aidan,” she cried. “Not so hard.” The breath lodged in his throat as he gazed at the woman beneath him. Big eyes, sparkling with tears, stared back at him. Summoning his last vestiges of strength, Aidan slowed his pace and swept his lips along her collarbone. “I won’t hurt you again.” He gave a tentative thrust. Liya mewled. He thrust again, steadily picking up the pace as her face scrunched and her lips parted. That’s right. He fucked her harder and watched as she rose on her elbows and rolled her hips, drawing him in deeper. Her pussy was tighter than a vise and his cock appreciated it like nothing else. Liya dug her fingertips in the linen and clasped her ankles around his ass. She braced forward and clapped her palm to his face, her lips parting to form an o with each thrust. “It feels good now,” she purred. He plowed her in frenzy, his hips slamming ferociously into hers. “You like being fucked, sweetheart? Your pussy is stretching for me, Liya.” He jammed a hand beneath her ass and lifted her to take every inch of him. “So soft and willing beneath me. Tell me how much you like having a cock in your cunt.” She moaned and clung to him, gyrating her hips in passion. “I love it. I still can’t believe you’re inside me. You don’t know how many nights I thought about you and wondered what it would feel like.” Jesus. He was already on the edge and now she was telling him for so many months she had been thinking about his prick pumping into her virgin cunt. Had she also imagined him filling her up with cum? Aidan hung his head and cupped the side her face, holding her gaze. He withdrew completely and pressed his forehead to

hers, then rammed his cock into her pussy with every ounce of his strength. Her mouth opened and the room echoed with her scream. Six long years he’d gone without feeling a woman’s warmth. He was going to milk this for all its worth. He did it again and again until she was openly sobbing and grinding her hips like a madwoman. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. When his need threatened to reach a fevered pitch, he felt her walls pulsate around him. His cock responded in turn and expanded outside her womb. “Look at me,” he ordered, holding himself rigid. She met his gaze. Tiny beads of sweat dotted her forehead and the valley between her breasts. Aidan leaned forward and twisted his fist about her hair. “Do you realize what you’re doing to me?” he asked darkly. Her body shuddered. “N-no.” “No?” His cock jerked in anticipation. She shook her head again. Her lips trembled. Aidan chanced a glance between their entwined bodies. He wanted to come inside her. He wanted to see his semen dripping from her cunt. He clenched his jaw. “You’re making it too damn easy to forget everything,” he bit out. Her cunt pulsed and squeezed his cock a little tighter. He ground his hips into her and thrust hard. Faster and faster he pumped until he heard himself ask, “You want to know what it’s like to have a man release inside you and fill your pussy with his cum?” And he knew he had lost the war against sanity. “Yours,” she moaned. “Only yours. I want you to come inside me. I want it so much.” Over the edge. He couldn’t stop the tide that followed. He hovered over her quivering frame, held her waist and rammed his cock to the hilt, driving her deeper and deeper into the mattress with the force of each thrust. “I’m going to unload inside you, sweetheart. I’m going to be the first man to wet your little cunt with sperm. You’ll always remember me, Liya, no matter what.” Her fingers clawed at his back, her hips pushed upward and her pussy held him in the tightest vise. “Oh God, Aidan. Please. Give it to me, please.” He groaned and pummeled into her, until he felt her walls clench and her body stiffen, taut as a bowstring. “Come for me, Liya. That’s it baby. Let me feel how much you want it. Show me how

much you like having me fuck you this hard.”. Aidan felt his balls draw up and cum shoot out of his penis. Her scream shattered the air as sanity crashed into him like a fist to the gut. Without missing a beat, Aidan withdrew and grasped his cock, watching the semen spill out onto his fingertips. Panting, he stole a glance at Liya. Bad idea. She was staring at him in hurt and confusion, her focus slowly drifting to his cock. Dear God. The fucking thing was still ejaculating seed all over his hand. When the last spasm wracked his frame, Aidan turned to her, disgusted with himself and praying she would understand. “I couldn’t do it, sweetheart. I couldn’t.” He lowered his head then looked back up. “Sarah. The baby.” It felt as if he was being choked, just uttering the words. Frowning, her large brown eyes searched his face. He swallowed and touched his throat. Yeah, he was still breathing. Now he just needed to explain his actions to her. “It wasn’t the car accident that killed my wife. It started before that day. We just didn’t know. I’m a doctor and I didn’t know my wife was hemorrhaging. The crash only compounded it.” His voice cracked. “There was nothing they could do for Sarah or the baby. She was only six months along.” She threw her arms around him. “I didn’t know, Aidan. I didn’t know.” He hugged her, comforted by the simple gesture. “I’m sorry I ruined it for you. That I couldn’t, didn’t…” He paused and thumbed her chin. “You have no idea how much you deserve. How terrified I am when the time comes for you to meet someone special and get married.” She burrowed her face into his neck. “I don’t want to think about anyone else. I don’t want anyone else.” He closed his eyes, pleased beyond measure by her words. But it was wrong all the same. In time Liya would move on and forget him. She would be on her back with some other man pumping between her thighs, filling her with his sperm—something he would never be able to do. He gave her a wan smile as his fingers threaded into the ringlets of curls. “Come next year, sweetheart, you’ll forget all about me.”

“Is that the amount of time it’s going to take you to push me and our time here out of your mind?” she asked, a defiant rift to her tone. He let go of her hair. She reacted to his movement. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I told you I wouldn’t have any regrets and I won’t. I meant it. It was my suggestion and I’m a big girl. I can take it. Also, I’m getting something out of this too.” Was she? It seemed as if he was doing all the taking. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “What are you getting?” “Happiness. I have you all to myself for the holiday. I’ll get to experience something that will never happen in this lifetime.” His heart thundered. “What is that?” Why was he asking when he already knew the answer? She looked up and gave him a sad smile. “Us. You and me.” “Liya—” She covered her lips over his and cut him off. What could he even say to that? She was right. There was no future for them beyond this cabin and Christmas. His gaze flickered downward on the tiny curls between her legs that he would never see wet and sticky with his semen. “I wish it could be different.” Understatement of the century, Keegan. “I know,” she echoed. “I know.”

Chapter Seven Liya rolled onto her side, huddling into the blanket until it was all the way up to her chin. Why was it suddenly so cold? She blinked once, then again. Aidan was gone. She had fallen asleep in his arms, fully expecting and anticipating awakening in the same position. She touched the empty spot on the side of the bed. Eyes squinted, she launched upright. The distinct sound of running water trickled into the bedroom. He was in the shower. Liya glanced at the windows. The faintest hint of the looming sunrise stirred below the horizon. She doubted the hour had struck six, which was way too early to be up on a holiday. Concern for him struck her. Perhaps his leg was hurting and he needed the hot water to help relax it. Clambering out of the bed, Liya grabbed her shirt and underwear. After slipping into the clothes she gave a single knock on the bathroom door. The flow of water ebbed, yet he returned no answer. She knocked again. She didn’t want him to be in pain, but a selfish part of her desperately hoped that was the reason and not because he wished to rid himself of the memory of last night. Liya bit her lips and pressed the pad of her fingers to her pussy. If anyone had a reason to feel dirty and direly in need of a shower, it was she. “Aidan?” The door jerked open. His hair dripped with water, and beads of moisture clung to his lean abdomen. Brows raised, he glowered. “What is it?” Liya flinched, but not before her eyes landed on the towel tucked around his hip. She had hoped to get a view of his leg. “What are you doing in there?” she asked, feeling awkward and girlish. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I was taking a shower. Is that not allowed for the three days we’re here together?” Liya blanched. Huh? Was he serious? “Does that mean you usually get up this early and shower after every woman you sleep with, or is it just me?” She glared at him. “We didn’t even return to the city yet and already you want to keep this a secret. Can’t stand knowing you made love to me? A woman, who looks nothing like your wife? You don’t like knowing that you can still feel pleasure? Well, you’re not dead, Aidan, and last night more than proved it.”

“There’s no need to remind me of last night,” he said, voice toneless. Liya pulled the shirt tighter about her middle, wishing she wasn’t standing in front of him in her tiny underwear. “That’s fine. I may be a lot younger than you, but we have more than you know in common. For instance, I also have feelings. Feelings you seem to think you now have a right to shit on. Yeah, I suppose I might have come across as a little tramp making this suggestion and actually sleeping with you last night, but that’s no reason to disrespect me and ignore my feelings.” She stared at him, unwilling to let him see the actual hurt. “I’ve never been in the mountains before, so I’m going to take my time and look around. After that I’ll head back home. The deal is off, which I’m sure you’re happy about since I practically forced you to fuck me.” He stood at the doorway, gaping at her. “Liya. You have to understand this. I enjoyed what we did together, but—” Liya shook her head and yanked the jeans over her hips. “Save it. I was fooling myself thinking this was a good idea.” She tugged the boots over her calves and turned to him, hating herself for the question spinning in her mind. “Was it because I didn’t really know what I was doing?” She finish tugging the last boot over her ankle and laughed quietly, waving a hand in the air. “Forget I asked that. Now I’m turning into one of those pathetic women seeking approval. Have your privacy. I should be back soon to get my things.” “Liya, please don’t be hurt.” “I’m not. It’s fine. It was just a silly experiment. Anyway, I suppose you want to be alone now with your memories and all. I can understand that. No hard feelings, right?” She was babbling now. It had to stop. “You don’t have to go.” “I do.” If she didn’t go, Aidan Keegan was about to witness her fall, tears and all. Last night meant nothing to him. The sad thing was, her offer might even have made him lose respect for her. Would he ever be able to take her seriously from here on out? What sort of decent woman did that: acquiesced to no-strings-attached sex for the weekend? She shuddered at the thought. He and his wife probably had even waited until after they were married to sleep together. Sarah hadn’t needed to open her legs for Aidan right away, but Liya had done and still hadn’t been able to impress him.

Liya bolted through the door. The wind blustered and blew, whipping at her face and lashing at her lips. Freezing cold and it never felt so good, giving her something to feel apart from the hurt. She ventured farther away from the cabin. Despite her feelings, Liya took the time to appreciate her surroundings. There was such beauty to behold up here in the forest. Was it any wonder Aidan had chosen this location? And since the chances were she would never get another peek at Nature’s finery, a bit of exploration was needed. It would give her the time to mend her frayed ego, which was shot to pieces after the lowdown version of Pretty Woman she’d pulled with Aidan. With the snow flurries kissing her damp lashes, Liya stole a glance at the cabin, windswept and covered with snow. She shook her head. That man. He said one thing, yet his actions from last night suggested otherwise. Hadn’t she felt how hard he came inside her— that is, before he realized what was happening and withdrew? Hadn’t she also felt the bruising grip on her shoulder as he held onto her like a drowning man clinging to a lifeline? She had also seen the utter peacefulness on his face before the impact of their exquisite joining toppled their bliss. Throughout the entire night he had held her close. At one point she had felt his warm lips on her shoulder, and heard the delicious murmur of her name while he was fast asleep. Now…now Aidan pretended as if she had fabricated their encounter like some sort of a schoolgirl fantasy. Pausing in mid-stride, Liya did an about-face, bringing the cabin once more in her line of sight. Aidan’s voice hummed in her ears. So many times he had called her sweetheart. She didn’t want to grasp at straws, but if she knew anything about Aidan the man, he would not dole out a superficial endearment without meaning. It had to mean something. Determined to confront him once more, Liya hurried to the cabin, her footsteps welding into the abundant layer of snow with each step. She dashed across the steps and eased the front door open. She stuck her head inside the bedroom. It was empty, save for the towel discarded on the floor. She sprang about the cabin, searching from room to room. No Aidan. She squared her shoulders. Like her, he had sought refuge in the cold. She would give him his time. Making her way outside, a door held partially ajar caught her attention. She looked to the side and back, unsure Aidan would want her to go in there. Her eyes scanned the room. Clear plastic boxes of

Christmas decorations were stacked one on top of the other. She drew her brows together. Had Aidan and Sarah spent the previous holidays here? Liya felt even more like an intruder, yet her curiosity was piqued and boundless. She swiped her finger over one of the boxes, leaving in its wake a thin line, clear of dust. She wiped it off on her jeans and walked aimlessly about the room. On the floor in a corner by the window, a golden star adornment rested at a slant beside a pair of dusty ice skates, store tag still visible. Unable to help herself, Liya bent and admired the pair, blowing ineffectively at the smatterings of dust. It didn’t matter. A childish longing bloomed within. Flashes of the past winters she had spent with her parents at the ice skating rink incited her. She admired the skates and smiled. It always felt a bit like flying, like all her problems rushing to the wayside, along with the breeze that caressed the side of her face the faster she skated amid pleas from her mother to slow down. The skates proved too tempting to resist. Liya tugged the right foot above her ankle. A half-size too small, but she couldn’t complain. She replaced the boots and rushed outside. Below her fingertips, the pair of ice skates dangled by their laces as she took off for the frozen pond. She would skate for just a few minutes, Liya reassured herself. Afterward she would see once and for all where she stood with Aidan, before leaving to spend yet another holiday alone. Lacing up the skates, she glided onto the ice-covered sheath. Not two steps forward and she had landed flat on her bottom. At least the ice didn’t crack, Liya thought wryly, massaging the sting. It didn’t take long after to regain her balance and circle around the edge. Closing her eyes, she whipped off her jacket and flung it onto the snow as she twirled, ice crystals sparkling in the air as the morning sunrays homed in at an angle. Liya was unsure for how long she skated, except that when she opened her eyes, Aidan stood beside her on the snow, simply watching. Her steps faltered but she regained balance and skated away, maneuvering a figure eight to show him he didn’t affect her in the least. Oh, if only that were true. Finally, when it proved too difficult to master her emotions, she skidded to an abrupt stop before him. His gaze drifted to her feet and recognition shone in his eyes. She straightened her spine, lifted her chin and skated away. Nothing good ever came from being so close to that man. She had given him her virginity and he’d thrown it in her face. So what if the skates belonged to Sarah Keegan? The least the woman could do from above

was give her blessing so Liya could enjoy a few minutes’ peace. What was that compared to Aidan’s heart, which she already held a monopoly on? She spun around and issued him a backward glance. His eyes captured hers and to Liya’s surprise Aidan spoke, clear as day. “Be careful on the ice.” Liya narrowed her eyes. Be careful on the ice. Was he purposely trying to drive her to the asylum? She scowled at him, one hand on her hip. “Afraid I’ll fall, hit my head and you’ll have to explain why you’re up here all alone with a half-dead black chick?” Aidan moved closer to the ice with a pronounced limp, more evident than before. “Will you stop acting like that? You know damn well you’re not just some black chick.” She folded her arms. “Did you come out here to tell me to hurry up and leave?” “No. I came to apologize. I’m sorry for my behavior this morning. It was inexcusable. I never intended for you to feel cheapened. Quite the opposite.” He was sucking her in again. One apology and she was softening toward him. “It’s hard not to, when you run into the shower before the crack of dawn and tell me you don’t want to remember that we made love.” “I didn’t want to leave that damn bed with you in it, all warm and soft.” “Then why did you?” “I woke up and saw you next to me. It’s been such a long time since I’ve awoken beside anyone. It terrified me, Liya, and wasn’t sure how to react. And that’s the problem with this, with you. I like being with you too much.” She nodded and touched his face. “And you felt bad about it, didn’t you? Like you were cheating on her?” “I’m sorry, Liya. I’m so goddamn sorry. I wish—” Liya kissed him hard. “Sarah was one lucky woman, Aidan. Don’t ever feel bad for having that once in a lifetime great love.” She peered at him and after a minute, asked, “Do you think that will ever happen for me?”

Chapter Eight A chain tightened around his heart as if Liya herself was pulling on the metal. “It’s going to happen,” he whispered hoarsely. I just wish it could be me. “You’re a lovely young woman, sweetheart, and I’m going to be jealous and hate the bastard for the rest of my life.” “You promise?” Aidan chuckled in spite of himself. Cradling her in his arms, he dropped a kiss on a closed eyelid. How was he going to let her go? When he was with her, life felt calm, peaceful, almost as if his world hadn’t been gutted and thrown to the wayside. He tipped her chin. “Are you still leaving?” “I don’t know. Why should I stay?” Aidan traced his knuckles against her cheek. “Because I want these three days more than anything else I’ve ever craved in a long time. I want to know what it feels like to have a woman belong to me. And because you’re the only person I wish to spend the holiday with.” She regarded him in that open, honest way he had come to admire. “I didn’t want to call off the arrangement. I know you don’t think highly of me because I’m willing to do this, but…” She lifted a shoulder. “It’s just not something I could ever regret.” His eyes snapped open. There was no hope for them and despite it all she continued to voice her affection for him. It was too much. Aidan closed a hand over her breast and cupped it gently. “I won’t regret it either, sweetheart.” She bit her lips as he fondled her breast through the cotton sweater. Her gaze centered on his erection. “See how hard you make me? That’s all for you, Liya, because you’re the only woman in my mind.” He thumbed her moist bottom lip. So full and wide. His cock jerked in response. Her mouth looked so warm and inviting. Aidan ached to feel those lips drawing him in. It had been years since a woman fellated his cock. Sarah had disliked the act so he hadn’t forced the issue. He lowered his hand and felt like a heel. There was something oh so wrong about his willingness to take everything Liya offered. Aidan sighed. What did it matter? His leg was aching just about as much as his cock right now. He didn’t know of any woman in her right mind who would jump at the chance to take his prick into

her mouth when he was limping like an old man desperately in need of a crutch. “It’s your leg, isn’t it?” she asked, gliding off the ice and onto the patch of snow. No use lying to her. He nodded. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this. I think I’ll just head inside and take a painkiller.” He wouldn’t. Painkillers had about the same potency as a Tic Tac at this point. “I’ll return with you.” She bent to unlace the skates. After throwing on the boots, she flattened her palm to his leg. “No more hiding from me. I don’t care what your leg looks like. You experienced a devastating accident and by some miracle you survived. You’re here with me now. So I’m going to say this once, plain and straight. I don’t give a fuck what your leg looks like.” “You have quite the little mouth on you, sweetheart.” She raised a brow. “Well you’ve always known that. Just like I’ve always known how lonely you are. That’s why I didn’t want to give up on you.” “Liya, please tell me you’re not doing this out of a misguided notion of self-sacrifice, to please me.” She paused in front of him. “Would it be so wrong if I was doing it to please you? Sometimes a woman cares about a man enough to put aside thoughts of consequences and hurt.” “Is that how you feel about me?” “You’re just seeing that? I love the clinic and I love helping others, but, you have to know you’re the biggest reason I stayed on, even when my course load had become much more difficult.” His cock went impossibly hard. Here was a woman laying it all out, making him seem like someone worthy of a second chance. Aidan coughed. “If we go inside together, I’m going to have to touch you. I can’t…I can’t be so close to you without…” His voice trailed. God, he was weak. “I need to be inside you.” A low moan escaped her throat. As Liya looked up at him, her eyes softened. “Aidan. I want nothing more.” The walk to the cabin seemed long and torturous. Each second lasted an hour and each minute an eternity. When they arrived at the cabin Aidan felt her arm on his back, ushering him inside. “Come on. I know you’re in pain.”

He shook his head. Fucking old man. But, by the determination on her face, he didn’t want to disobey. He sat on the couch and watched as she flitted about the room. “I’ll be right back,” she muttered, dashing around a corner. In less than a minute she was back in the living room, a small bottle in hand and a terrycloth towel in another. “Dare I ask what you have planned for me?” She giggled, and the sound rang so utterly feminine and charming. “Just sit still, Dr. Keegan. I’m in charge now.” Aidan reclined his head on the couch. He grinned to himself. It felt good to have her flitting around in the cabin as if she owned the place. After another trip into the kitchen, she returned with a bowl in hand and placed it on the ground beside the other items. Aidan frowned as he studied her weapons of choice. Dear God. Lavender Oil. “Liya, what on earth are you doing with that? You travel with lavender oil? Why? She grabbed the bottle and jutted her chin. “I have trouble sleeping sometimes and it helps.” He had no idea she suffered insomnia. “You slept fine with me last night.” “I know.” She tore off his boots. “It was comforting to be held. I’ve never experienced that.” Aidan bent forward and stroked her hair. He knew what she meant. He wondered if she knew how much it meant to him having another person, having her, lie beside him. “Why aren’t you sleeping at nights?” She tested a finger in the water then looked up from her position by his feet. “I had to get up a lot in the nights to give my brother his medication. It became a habit. There were times I was always afraid I’d fall asleep and something would happen to him and I wouldn’t be able to help. I never wanted to miss holding him when the time came.” She inhaled deeply as if it cost her a lot to confide in him. She rolled the jeans upward. Her fingers grazed the hair on his leg. Aidan knew the instant her fingertips made contact with the jagged scar and puckered skin. “I don’t care,” she repeated, reassuring him.

Aidan’s palms misted. Aside from his doctors and the physical therapist he had worked with for a few months after the surgery, no one else had seen the extent of the damage. She peeled up the jeans and exposed the skin. Aidan felt the cool air hover across his leg, causing it to seize up and cramp even more. Liya dipped the towel into the bowl and flattened it over the scar, massaging in a circular motion. His head pushed back into the sofa. Immediately the heated water, glistening with drops of the lavender oil, began to dull the ache. Aidan studied her in silence. How could she stand to look, much less touch the disfigured flesh? He had to stop her. Leaning forward, Aidan tried to lift her hand from his leg. “You don’t have to do this.” Liya pushed away his hand, removed the towel and lowered her soft lips to the scar. “Three days, Aidan. Three days and I’m your woman. Let me do this for you.” Replacing the damp towel, she swiped it up and down, dabbing on the wound while her other hand massaged the knots. The need to please her and return everything she was handing him rose deep from within. He wanted to treat Liya as she deserved to be treated. Which meant, she deserved way better than being with a man devoid of a heart fully able to love her. Aidan’s chest tightened. He wanted to be the one to hold her all the time. Make sure that she slept well at night. He wanted to give and promise her so many things, but he couldn’t promise to give her his entire heart, although Liya was worming her way into it day by day, and had been for almost a year. Aidan just hadn’t wanted to realize it. “Liya?” Her gaze flickered upward. The crimson sparks of the fireplace danced in her eyes and her rounded face appeared lovelier than ever. “There are so many men out there––men who are younger, handsome and unhindered by injuries. You’re a beautiful young lady, sweetheart. Why me?” She wrung the towel. “Why not you? Like I said, I feel safe around you. I want you, but there’s something about you that draws me in, even if I know the outcome is impossible.” Aidan groaned inwardly. He knew it was impossible also, but did she have to voice it at a time like this? “What are you going to do when you leave here? Are you going to find a boyfriend?”

She shrugged and sat up with her chin brushing against his kneecap. “Maybe. I’m tired of being alone. I’m not like you.” Liya was correct. She had every right to find love. Aidan couldn’t restrain the bitterness. He looked down at her. She hadn’t even showered yet since they’d made love. His sperm, however small the amount he had accidentally ejaculated, was still inside her and here she was openly discussing her plans to be with another man. Sarah hadn’t been a virgin when they married and he hadn’t cared because it was unimportant and his love for her was blinding. But Liya— she was something new. She belonged to him and however much he was unable to return the sentiment, it killed him to know she would experience passion with someone else. Each and every night while he slept alone, Liya would be wrapped up in the arms of another man. Would he one day see her walk down the street with a big belly carrying some other man’s child? Anger jackknifed into him, anger directed at himself. Aidan lashed out, “Are you going to let him know you lost your virginity to a man old enough to be your father?” “Are you insulting me or yourself?” she asked with unnatural calmness. The anger melted and drained out of him. Of course she would see through his self-derision. “Myself,” he relented. “I’m being an ass.” “Does that mean you don’t want me to find love?” Yes, only if it’s with me. “I want you to be happy.” “But happy by myself, just like you will be by yourself too, right?” He gritted his teeth. When she put it that way, it sounded absurd. He sounded absurd. “You’ve never been in love before. You have no idea how it feels and the fear that comes with losing the ones you love— that it might happen all over again. I can’t go through that again.” “Is that what you’re afraid of?” she asked, her small hand curved around the taut muscle in his leg. “You’re afraid to give your heart to me because you think you might lose me?” His jaw clenched. This was no longer about his promise to Sarah. “Yes. Damn you.” He jerked her to stand before him. “But that won’t happen, because you promised you’d leave my heart intact.

Isn’t that right, Liya? You promised I wouldn’t fall in love with you and God help me, you’d better keep your word.” Fear skittered into her eyes. He could see a pulse beating rapidly in her neck. What the hell was wrong with him? Aidan loosened his hold. No woman had ever brought him to the point of violence. He pulled her close and nuzzled the tender skin below her nape. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” She entwined her arms around his waist. “You didn’t scare me. You didn’t scare me at all. I just wish I could take your pain away. I’d do anything for you.” “Liya, you shouldn’t say those things. I can’t offer you a future, sweetheart.” Against his lips, she whispered, “Give me tonight and tomorrow. It’s Christmas.” Aidan lifted her and laid her bare on the crimson Oriental rug in front of the stone fireplace. Aidan sat, allowing his hand to explore the delicate flesh at the junction of her thighs. The kindling crackled and flared, casting a golden orange radiance on her pussy. He could see every crevice and fold on her drenched sex, glistening in the light. Aidan stroked along her center. She shivered in response. Parting her thighs wider, he draped her leg above his shoulder and kissed the delicate area behind her knee. “You enjoy being petted, Liya?” Nodding eagerly, she rolled her hips. She was so wet. Aidan flicked his finger across her clitoris. She shivered again and thrashed her head to the side. He couldn’t resist. Aidan lowered his head and brushed his lips on the succulent bud. A low gasp echoed in the room. She hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t either. Tasting Liya was going to prove to be a huge mistake. He peered upward and drank her in. His angel. How could he deny her this pleasure? “Kiss it again, Aidan.” Aidan wedged her legs apart until it was wide enough to see the folds separating. God, she was beautiful down there. His cock swelled and Aidan ran his hand along the protrusion. It was so tempting to push her back and shove his prick in to the hilt. So tempting to actually spill his seed inside her pussy. Give her everything. His throat seized. No way. He would never do that to Liya. He looked down at her soft yet flat stomach. Yes, it would definitely kill him if he got her pregnant and had to lose her and the

baby. Not once did he think something like that would happen to him. If it could happen once, why not twice? Liya focused on him. “I’m losing you again, aren’t I?” She attempted to bring her legs together. He held her ankles, stilling her movement. “Don’t ever do that.” Aidan hoisted her leg higher, until her toes dangled over his shoulder, and reveled in the sight of her pussy. He was dying to get a taste of it. Lowering his head, he dove in and tongued her clit. Moisture trickled from her pussy onto his lips. Heaven help him, she was sweet. Sweeter than he ever thought a woman could taste. A log sizzled in the fireplace, casting a shadow against the wall as Aidan placed his hand beneath her lush ass and lifted her to his mouth, licking between her folds. He heard her delightful squeals and it went straight to his heart. His tongue delved deeper, thrusting into the narrow slit until tiny tremors held her deep in throes. When the tremors subsided, Aidan shrugged out of his clothes. He wanted the intimacy of skin touching skin. He straddled her waist and mounted her, pushing the enflamed tip in her slickened vulva. “I need you right now.” Liya’s thighs spread wider than before in open invitation. Aidan kissed her on the lips then plunged deep, battering hard against her cervix. His eyes rolled backward at the feel of her hot cunt. Liya’s pussy was the best he’d ever been inside. Impossibly small and tight, she was squeezing him until it was almost painful, creating a sinful friction. If he weren’t careful it would be all too easy to spill his seed outside her womb and risk everything. “Aidan,” she pleaded. “Harder. Please.” Aidan growled and drove into her, headless, without thought. “Killing me,” he grated. “You know I can’t come inside you, baby.” She scratched the edges of her fingernails along the column of his shoulder blade as if she was daring him to do just that. Aidan almost prayed to heaven she would coo and beg for his cum inside her pussy. It would drive him straight to the brink of madness and he’d have no choice but to fall prey to the insanity and unload inside her. Yes, he wished she would give him the excuse he needed. When her pussy tightened around him and Aidan felt cum rolling up his shaft, he wrapped his fist around the base and withdrew. Slow down, Keegan. He looked at Liya. Did she realize she could

bring a man to his knees and make him come harder and faster than he ever thought possible? Aidan forced her backward and held the engorged cockhead between her labia. Eyes wide, her lips parted as he tightened his grip around the length and watched the cum rip from his shaft, coating her clitoris with milky splotches of semen that trickled all the way down her opening and along her inner thighs. Finally he tore his gaze away and gathered her in his arms, kissing her shoulder. Perfection. Liya dripping wet with his seed was a sight he would never forget for as long as he lived. “Are you okay?” she whispered, eyeing him closely. The urge to laugh bubbled to the surface. He had just fucked her hard, harder than he intended and ejaculated on her pussy. She should demand an apology from him. Instead she was stroking his hair, inquiring if he was okay. He looked up at her. “You don’t despise me?” He was starting to despise himself and the fear he had allowed to stronghold him for so many years. He wanted to change. “Am I in your mind right now?” “Only you. I swear it, Liya.” His answer must have pleased her. “You’re the only one I ever think of.” She lowered her gaze to his cock, which was soft and shiny with traces of semen. “So many things I want to experience, but only with you.” His cock twitched and stirred to life as Liya drew nearer. His cheeks flushed. He was still flaccid but coming to life under her delicate touch. She placed a tender kiss on the head then lowered her mouth over the softened cock. Aidan closed his eyes in bliss. “Suck it, Liya. Please. It’s been so long since anyone has done that for me.” Longer than he could remember what it felt like. Liya laid on the ground as Aidan knelt beside her head, tipping her chin so that her mouth leveled to his prick. Her lips opened and closed, enclosing the cockhead inside her warm mouth. He felt himself expanding, the head becoming filled with blood as she pulled and drew upon the aching tip. Aidan held her head, gently guiding her on him. “Do you like it?” She nodded quickly and flicked her tongue all around him as if she was memorizing his taste. “I love it,” she whispered, after withdrawing his cock to lick around the rim. Aidan grunted. She had the best mouth and was so enthusiastic. When she lowered her mouth on him for the second time, he stroked her cheek, thoroughly enjoying

the feel of his cock inside. Her mouth continued its arousing torture. Aidan groaned as she suckled harder on the head, nursing on his cock. He stroked her hair, knowing he was on the verge of climax. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to swallow my cum. You don’t have to, sweetheart.” She lifted her head and licked the shaft. “Aidan, I want it.” She drew him close and dug her fingers into his thighs. Ah God. His breathing roughened. Aidan held her to his cock. “I’m coming, sweetheart.” She sucked faster and faster. His cock grew heavy and Aidan felt it, the hot cum, surging from his testicles and up his shaft. He touched her throat and felt the muscles contracting, working hard to swallow the copious amount of semen he was feeding her. Eyes closed, a tiny sound of pleasure grated from the back of her throat. When the last drop fell onto her tongue, Aidan withdrew. However, Liya wasn’t finished. Aiming forward, she flickered her tongue against the spent cockhead. He groaned and saw that she still wasn’t satisfied. What a greedy girl. His heart thundered at the knowledge that Liya loved to suck his cock. Aidan towered before her as she kneeled in front of him, nuzzling the softening prick. “Will you miss this?” Her hungry mouth clamped around the head, gently sucking. Good lord, she couldn’t seem to get enough of him. He saw her hips rocking back and forth, no doubt in effort to assuage the emptiness in her cunt. Aidan grabbed her hair and jerked her head upright. His penis slid from between her lips. “Answer me. How much are you going to miss me?” “Every day of my life,” she said, almost too low for him to hear. Her answer pleased him beyond measure. He twisted his fist tighter about the tendrils of curls and shoved her mouth onto his cock. Damn her. For two straight days she had done nothing but worm her way into his heart, overtaking his mind. And when he should be the one looking forward to the holidays being over, so he could return to his solitary existence, she was breaking her promise and leaving him with no choice but to fall under her spell. “I love you,” she whispered, loosening her jaw around his cock then suckling hard again. Aidan clutched her to him and jerked his hips. “Don’t do this to me, Liya. Please, sweetheart. I’m begging you. I can’t do this again.” He didn’t want a second love.

He lifted her head, pushed it back a notch and watched himself spill onto her tongue, thin whitish globs of semen that told him she had effectively milked him dry. Aidan touched her throat, his eyes misting as she swallowed every single drop. Her little pink tongue darted out, lapping at the droplet of cum that spilled from the corners of her lips. “Come here,” he said to her softly, stunned that a woman could be so innocent and explicit in her need at the same time. Her need for him. Aidan carried her with him to the sofa and seated her across his lap. “You didn’t have to do that.” “I wanted to. I liked it.” His eyes opened in surprise. No woman had ever told him she wanted his seed in her belly. “I wasn’t sure at first if you’d like having my taste on your tongue. But you wanted more.” He paused and gazed at her solemnly. There wasn’t a word to describe how it made him feel that Liya loved the taste of his cock and he wished he could feel her mouth on him every single day and give her all the cum her greedy little mouth desired. Instead he chose a safer route. “I wish I had something to give you for Christmas. I thought about it before I left to come up here, but I didn’t know how you’d react if I gave you a present. And I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me again after the way we parted at the clinic.” “Same here. I actually went to the store and had something picked out for you, but––well. I didn’t want you to think I was coming on to you again. Like that day when I kissed your cheek.” He nipped her earlobe, wishing he could have changed his reaction to the aforementioned kiss. “You did nothing wrong, Liya. I was scared because I hadn’t expected to feel so alive from such a simple touch.” “I’m going to miss you,” she whispered, her voice shaky and tears sparkling in her bright eyes. “Just was never in the cards for us, right?” His chest tightened with pain. If he did give himself to Liya, would the powers that be act so selfishly as to take another person he cherished away from him? Aidan wanted forever, not just a few years. Still, he was afraid to voice his feelings. “I’ll miss you too, sweetheart.” He was a coward and an utter bastard. He felt physically

ill. Tomorrow, Christmas day, was their last day together and then, like the coward he was, he would let her slip quietly out of his life.

Chapter Nine The next morning, Liya glanced out the window of the cabin. Snowflakes fell on the panes of the windows, as a morning breeze swept across the land. Wisps of snow blew into the air, twirling in the open space. She closed her eyes and smiled. It was Christmas. Christmas with Aidan, to be exact. She snuggled into the warmth of his hard body lying next to her. If only every Christmas morning could be like this. Her lips pursed as she felt the steady rise and fall of his chest. There would be no other Christmas like this with him. She had meant every word and was going to keep to her promise. She took a deep breath and looked out the window. The fireplace in the bedroom sizzled, but already she was starting to feel cold with the knowledge that once she stepped back outside, that would be it for them. She and Aidan would go their separate ways, with only the precious memory of what transpired here. Every fiber of her being would treasure these moments. And Aidan, well, perhaps he would tuck it away in some hidden part of him that he was too afraid to reveal and revisit. Liya’s heart seized. Not even the love she had to offer him would ever be enough to compensate for his loss. Three days of sex seemed just meager and…Liya closed her eyes. She didn’t want to feel ashamed for their time together, but in the grand scheme of things what they had was just sex. They hadn’t made any earthshattering memories. She really just needed to get over it and put on a brave face when the time came to leave him. Aidan rustled beside her. Liya felt his hand rubbing her backside before his warm lips touched her neck and his fingers delved between her labia, gently petting. “Good morning.” His voice came out a low rumble. Her heart twisted as Liya swallowed down the sorrow. This was the last time she’d be waking up to a ‘good morning’ from him. “Merry Christmas, Dr. Keegan.” She pressed her lips to his mouth. A glimmer of confusion tripped over his features. Liya wondered if he felt the same—Christmas sneaked upon them all too quickly. “Merry Christmas, angel.” He smiled at her quiet teasing. Unsure what to say, Liya rested her head above his heart. Stroking the top of her hair, Aidan kissed her temple. “I have a surprise for you.”

Liya narrowed her brows and raised her head, a slow smile spreading across her lips. “What kind of a surprise?” He chuckled and once again she was taken aback, left breathless by how handsome Aidan was when he allowed himself a moment of pleasure. “It’s definitely not Santa stuck in the chimney, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He slid to the edge of the bed and grabbed his clothes off the floor. Liya curled under the comforter and watched him dress. It was such a simple act, one that shouldn’t amount to the dizzy sense of pleasure pumping through her. But there it was. Dragging her gaze away, she slipped on a shirt and panties. Other women had no idea how lucky they were to witness such a simple delight each and every morning with their man. “Come here,” Aidan said, reaching for her hand. Liya narrowed her eyes and lifted a brow. He laughed softly and squeezed her fingers. “I wanted to make this special for you. Well, as special as it can be up here, without planning.” They entered the living room. Liya planted a foot on the ground and clamped a hand over her mouth. “When? How did you do this?” She switched between Aidan and the large Fraser fir tree, adorned with shimmering blue and pale purple tinsel. Shiny ornaments hung from the ends of the pine branches. “I chopped it yesterday morning after you went out.” He scratched the back of his head and grinned. “I was crossing my fingers all day long that you wouldn’t go around the back and see it.” Of course. That explained why the door had been left open. But ... That had to mean Aidan had bought those decorations a long time ago, when he‘d envisioned spending Christmas here with his family. She pushed the thought away. Facing him, she stood on her tiptoes, tucked her arms about his neck and swept her lips over his. “It’s beautiful, Aidan. Thank you.” Liya held his hand as they headed toward the tree. On the fireplace mantle there was a golden star with the faint glow of an orange light within. Aidan reached for it. “Almost forgot… you have to put it up.” Aidan slid his hands around her hips and lifted her off the ground until she was eye-to-eye with the top of the Christmas tree. “How does it look?“ she asked, gesturing to the decked-out tree.

He placed her on the ground. “Perfect. I’ve never seen anyone choose a more perfect spot for a Christmas star.” Laughing, she crooked her finger beneath his cheek and kissed him. “Whatever. The holiday must really be getting to your senses.” A sober looked flashed in his eyes. “It’s not the holidays.” “Then what is it?” Me. Us. Aidan held her close. “Too many things to talk about now. I’m happy that whatever scheming James was up to, brought us here together. I don’t believe I’m the same person who drove up here on Friday.” Liya frowned, unsure of Aidan’s words. “What do you see in the future for yourself, Aidan? What do you want out of life now?” “To move on. I see that it’s possible, now.” Her eyes flew open at his revelation. Silent, she allowed him to finish, awaiting the words she wanted so desperately to hear. “I want a fresh start. I won’t ever forget my two angels, but I need to move on. I no longer feel the crushing pain when I think of them, and that’s all because of you. You’ve shown me that it is okay to feel, to want to experience life again, and I want that so much, sweetheart.” She waited still longer, up until the moment his lips brushed her temple and the soft words were whispered into her ear. “Thank you, Liya.” Her heart shattered into a million pieces. Somewhere in the world, perhaps in the city, she could hear the feminine laughter of a strange woman who would reap her rewards and claim Aidan Keegan for herself. And he had the nerve to look down and smile at her as if he hadn’t delivered a death sentence to her hopes and dreams for the two of them. Her lips stretched into a painful smile. “I’m glad I could help.” For the remainder of the day she tried hard to combat the glumness that shadowed her enjoyment of Christmas and being tucked away for a few more hours with Aidan. Sometime after lunch, when Aidan plucked her out of the armchair she had curled in beside the fireplace and led her outside to the sled he had chopped out of a fallen tree, surprise was an understatement. She had stared at him in astonishment and joy despite her sadness. He really meant it, about enjoying life. The old Aidan Keegan would never have suggested traipsing down a snowcapped hill, like a ten-year-old.

As the day went on, the sorrow grew tenfold, yet she showed no hint of it. Liya glanced over her shoulder as he added more kindle to the fireplace. Everything about him was more relaxed and he had said she was responsible for it. Sighing, she placed the last of the dishes inside the dishwasher and set it to run. Well, you did get what you wanted, she told herself. Or at least what she thought she wanted three days ago, when she made the brazen suggestion of using sex to bring some joy to Dr. Keegan. It did nothing to lessen the pain or ebb the tide of her disappointment. “Come with me outside.” She wiped her hands on a towel and followed him out into the snow. The air felt thick and balmy, misting with each and every breath. Aidan clasped her hand to his. “So tell me, what did you really think of this place, and being up here with me?” Huh? He had to ask that. Weren’t her face and her words enough of an open book for him to read and sample at leisure? Maybe that was indeed her problem. She had been too open and honest with him, leaving no air of mystery or enticement. “I thought I made it clear on so many occasions.” He stopped beside her. “You made a lot of things clear, sweetheart, including the fact that you spent years taking care of your little brother and when he passed you had no one else to focus that energy and dedication on.” “What are you getting?” “I don’t harbor illusions about myself, Liya. I’m much older than you. I have a damaged arm and leg. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I wonder just how much of your need to be a caretaker is driving you to think what you feel for me is more than friendship.” She allowed her hand to fall from his grasp. “Caregiver, Aidan? Is that what it means when you have sex with someone?” She laughed without mirth. “I suppose now that we’re about to get back to reality and the rest of the world, I’m relegated to chubby girl who can only be a friend or twisting my hands worrying about someone to take my mind off my own sad state, right?” He scoffed. “You’re perfectly fine.” She shook her head, half groaning and laughing. “If I pitied you that much because of your flaws, there’s no way I would have slept with you. If you don’t want to move on with me, that’s fine, but you don’t have to find excuses for it.”

His hand shot out, capturing her wrist in a steely grip. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t pity me. That you won’t feel a shred of embarrassment introducing me to your friends on my worst day with this leg?” “I’ll give you an answer when you can swear to me from this moment, this second forward I’m the only woman in your heart, that I won’t be second place, a stand-in, because you’ll never experience that ‘once in a lifetime’ love. I don’t want to be the woman you pass your time with until the day comes when you reunite with Sarah.” His features became impassive. If a stranger were to pass by they might think she had just requested that he lasso and bring her the moon. She broke away and walked slowly in the fresh snow. “Save your answer.” Footsteps quickened behind her. “You’re the only woman I want. I swear to you. You’re the only one.” Aidan’s voice sounded frantic, like a man terrified of losing again. Her heart ached for him. One thing was for sure—Aidan cared about and thought he needed her. Love. He was at the point of desperation and still he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. She touched his face and brushed her lips across his jaw. Although her face felt frozen and chapped from the tempestuous wind, her eyes stung from the pressure of holding in the tears. Aidan thought he needed her, but he didn’t. She had told him once that he made her feel safe, and now it seemed as if the situation was reversed. Aidan wanted her because she made him feel safe. With her there were no risks involved. He would have to lay himself bare, because she already knew what was inside him. She chuckled and wiped at her cheek with the side of her forefinger, chuckling when he looked at her in question. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing. Nothing. I think we’re both experiencing some lessons this holiday.” Except mine is going to hurt us both. You for a short time, me forever. She slung her arm across his back as they continued on the jaunt. She wondered if he would return to the cabin in the near future. Out of the corner of her eye, a large tree trunk caught her attention. For a brief second she had the childish urge to carve her name into it, leaving a physical presence so he would always be reminded of her.

She averted her vision. It was too silly anyway, and Aidan did not need another person haunting his memories. Come tomorrow she would leave in silence, keeping to the deal they had struck. For now, she melted into him and allowed herself to be swept up in the emotions that would no doubt linger for years to come.

Chapter Ten A month later Liya rubbed her hands together, seeking heat against the biting cold nipping at her skin. She quickened her steps away from the playground, briefly turning around when an excited voice called out, “Hurry up Ms. Em.” Liya grinned and waved to the little girls standing at the end of the slide waiting for her to help them build a snowman. Liya smiled to herself. Everything seemed to be moving so fast since the Christmas holiday. Well, everything except the love she felt for Aidan. That tender emotion was still a constant, refusing to budge an inch or diminish in light of their parting. She thought of him and the smirk that would shape his lips if he knew she were hurrying back into her classroom because, as usual, she had forgotten her gloves on one of the coldest days of the winter season. Liya sobered and dug her hands into her jacket pockets. It was still hard to think about him and the way she had left, sneaking away in the wee hours of the morning the day after Christmas, while Aidan slept. She wasn’t proud of it, but what other choice was there? She wanted Aidan to know she had meant every word she’d spoken at the onset of their arrangement. In the beginning, she hadn’t held out much hope that he would awake with a startling epiphany and realize he was in love with her as she drove down the bleak mountain path and a month later she knew the chance of ever hearing from or seeing him again was slim to none. As for Aidan, he was probably relieved to have awoken without her presence on the bed and in the cabin. No tears, awkwardness or false promises to assuage whatever guilt or regret he was feeling because of her admission of loving him. A dull ache settled in Liya’s chest as her mind strayed toward Aidan and how he was faring at the clinic with the little ones. She hoped he had found a new receptionist and that the clinic was running well. With her thoughts a mile away on Aidan and not the slickened walkway, Liya felt her feet skidding, losing grip on the ice. Arms flailing, she struggled to grab a hold of the brick barrier the children loved to walk across pretending to be acrobats. It was no use. The

front of her boot slammed against a snag and Liya felt herself hurling forward. Everything happened so fast, there was no pain, no time to contemplate the possibilities. Her head slammed against the stone and the world went pitch black. **** Aidan picked up the phone then set it down on his desk. This was the third time today he attempted to call Liya and lost his nerve. That morning, when he awoke to an empty bed and no sign of the woman he was losing his heart to, he’d been unable to keep at bay the hurt brought on by Liya’s abandonment although the rational part of him knew she was upholding her promise because he hadn’t been man enough to give her a reason to stay longer than the three days. Knowing Liya, she probably assumed he was happy now that she was no longer a physical fixture in his life. Happy? Never, but he was confused. Liya scared him and he was terrified to be with her. Waking up to the empty bed, however, and knowing she was gone made him realize that the connection they had would not fade into nothingness, no matter how much time had passed. Liya was officially ingrained in his heart and soul. And yet, he hadn’t worked up the courage to change the course of his life and put Sarah in the past. “I have to call her,” he said firmly. Aidan picked up the phone and dialed her number again. Instead of ringing, the phone went directly to voice mail. Aidan grimaced. It would serve him right if he wasn’t able to contact her. In fact, it would serve him right if every day for the rest of his life her face continued to haunt him, every single image of her and their time in the cabin. He never wanted to forget the sight of her on her knees in front of him, his penis brushing against her luscious lips as she told him, ‘I love you.’ Raking a hand through his hair, Aidan checked the time. He had no idea what Liya’s days were like, but maybe there was the off chance that she was at her apartment. He had never visited it before despite driving by the building on a few occasions, hoping to get a glimpse of her without having to make up his mind about the future of their relationship. Another despicable and selfish move. He rose from the chair and went to grab his jacket off the rack when a single knock sounded at his door. Whoever it was pushed the door open without awaiting his approval. Aidan turned to face a stoic and worried-looking James. Aidan frowned. As much as he envied James, he felt panic rising in his gut

that something had happened to a loved one. The pain he went through, he didn’t wish it on anyone. Including James, who was much more than a colleague. “What happened?” James closed the door quietly behind him and braced his back to the frame. At the man’s hesitancy, Aidan raised his voice a pitch. “Did something happen to your family?” James shook his head, still giving him that disquieting stare. “The family’s fine, Aidan.” Relief swamped him for his friend. “Then what the hell is wrong with you?” “It’s Liya.” Liya. His mind spun out of control. Aidan felt his heart drop to the floor. He knew that look all too well. Aidan was in front of James in an instant. “What’s wrong with her? Is she all right? Damn it. Tell me.” His heart was racing a mile a minute and adrenaline pumped through his veins. “I don’t know the details of how it happened,” James began slowly. “She must have fallen on the ice or something.” Fallen. Aidan grabbed his friend by the shoulders. “Is she dead?’ Oh God. He let go of James’ shoulder and planted his hands on the desk before his knees gave out. If James said she was…Aidan tried to catch a breath. If Liya was dead, then he might as well be, too. “She’s not dead, but she’s hurt pretty badly, man. Like I said, I don’t know what happened. I was on my way out when I saw her being brought in. She was unconscious. Head injury, I’d say.” Aidan allowed himself to breathe again. She was alive. Liya was alive and he would have the chance to tell her everything he hadn’t, including how much he loved her. Without another word to James, Aidan sprinted through the door and within minutes he had all the information he needed, included which doctor was in charge of her care and the room she had been assigned to. A quick trip into the elevator and down to the urgent care ward, Aidan found the room door and entered, hospital protocol the last thing on his mind. He saw her then. Lying on the narrow bed, eyes closed, an oxygen tube below her nose and the side of her head shaved, a line of stitches visible on her scalp. So many things about the scene felt

familiar. The fear and helplessness at watching the woman he loved lying injured in a hospital bed and knowing there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Settling in the seat beside her bed, Aidan took her soft hand between both of his. “Liya.” No response. Not the even the faintest flutter of eyelashes. He traced his fingers across her brow and kissed her lips. “Hey now, sweetheart. Open up those bright eyes for me.” Knowing full well the anesthesia hadn’t worn off, Aidan was desperate for a sign that she was truly all right. He stroked her hand and continued to talk, hoping deep down she could hear him even if she assumed it was a dream. “What happened to you? I thought you knew that when I’m not around you have to be extra careful and take care of yourself? I never wanted anything to happen to you, sweetheart. This is exactly what I was always afraid of.” Silence greeted him. Aidan cast his gaze toward the wall then back at Liya. Anger rose deep within him. Anger at directed at himself. Liya was lying there, had hit her head and fell unconscious. His throat closed up. She could have died, believing he didn’t love or care about her. He felt physically ill. “I love you,” he whispered, praying harder than ever she could hear him. Aidan tightened his hold on her hand and repeated the words. “I love you so much and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m sorry for all the times I was cold to you and ignored your feelings.” Tears burned at the back of his eyes and he choked back a sob. He loved Sarah, but now looking back he saw how much he had hurt Liya by constantly mentioning the love he had for Sarah and that no one including herself could compare. It simply wasn’t true. For months now, Liya had secured her place at the center of his heart until finally she had claimed it completely. He laid his head to hers and whispered another apology. So engrossed in being next to his woman, Aidan didn’t hear the opening of the door. “Keegan?” His head snapped up at the male voice. Disapproval clear on his face, the neurologist stared at him as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. “What the blazes are you doing in my patient’s room?” The doctor’s scowl deepened, filled with concern. “Who is she to you?

You know we don’t get that close to the patients. Am I going to need to have your head examined?” Aidan sat up and ran a hand across his jaw. He couldn’t muster the energy to trade banter. “I know her,” Aidan said, having no fight left in him. “She was my receptionist for a couple of months.” Dr. Samson drew his clipboard closer. “This isn’t cardiology. Her being your former receptionist doesn’t give you a right to be in here.” Aidan rose from the chair. “I love her. That should be enough.” “What?” He repeated it. Hell, he wanted everyone to know how he felt about her. “This whole thing is my fault. I don’t care how it happened, but it’s my fault for not being there for her for so long.” “According to the teachers at her workplace, your Liya slipped on the ice somewhere close to the school’s playground. She hit her head on a brick barrier, Keegan. Right now the scan is only showing minor damage to the skull, but I’m sure you know how these things are. A month, a year from now she could show signs of damage from it. Or she could come out with just a scar.” Aidan stiffened. “We’ll deal with it when it happens. All I care about is that she’s alive.” “We? You’re serious about her? I didn’t think you’d be the one to—” “To what?” he asked tightly. The doctor waved his hand in after thought. “Nothing. I’m just surprised, that’s all. In a good way, Keegan. In a good way. So, does that mean you want to receive a page when she wakes up?” He looked back at Liya and wished he could stay the entire time at her bedside, but he had been away from his office for long enough and there was nothing he could do except make sure she had the best treatment at Mansfield General. Nodding, he answered, “I’d appreciate it. Thanks. Even if it’s late, the middle of the night. I don’t care when. I want to be notified of any change with her.” “Got it. Congratulations again.” Aidan jerked his head and left the ward. Samson’s congratulations was appreciated however premature. When Liya awoke, he could only hope and pray that she still felt the same and wanted to give their future a try.

Chapter Eleven The first thing Liya noticed when she awoke was that her mouth felt drier than ever before. Confused, she tried to sit up, at which her hand of its own volition went straight to her forehead in reaction to the blinding pain. She lay back down and watched as the door swung open and a young woman wearing pale green scrubs entered the room, a bright smile on her face. “Glad to see you’re awake. How do you feel?” “Like I’ve been in the desert for a year and then hit by a Mack truck.” “Understandable. I can get you some ice chips to get rid of the cottonmouth. It’s just an effect from the anesthesia.” “Anesthesia?” Liya furrowed her brows, and tried to replay the last few hours of her day. “What day is it?” “Tuesday. They brought you in right before lunchtime. You’ve had an accident, don’t you remember?” She touched her head as the memories came flooding back of feeling herself falling and falling. “I remember.” Thank God. For a moment when the nurse mentioned accident she thought she might have suffered memory loss. “Are you up for a visitor after you get the ice?” “Visitor?” Her mind immediately ran to Aidan. Liya wondered if he knew about her accident. If he did, she wasn’t even sure if he’d go out of his way to visit and lose the peace and solitude he now had by having her out of his life. The nurse must have been referring to her friends Shawn and Tasha. “I’d love to see a familiar face.” The nurse quietly left the room and a minute later the door was opened yet again. Liya glanced up, eagerly anticipating the ice. Her eyes widened as Aidan stepped through the doorway, a paper cup in hand. Liya blinked in surprise. “Aidan?” He entered the room slowly as if unsure of himself. “I wanted to see how you were doing.” He dipped his hand into the cup and pressed an ice chip to her lips. Liya opened her mouth, allowing the ice to melt on her tongue. “How did you know I was here?” “James, Dr. Northrop told me. How do you feel?”

“Oh, okay. I’m doing all right I suppose. The nurse was in here and she seemed pleased enough.” She trailed off and turned her head sideways. It was painful to know if she hadn’t almost gotten herself killed that Aidan wouldn’t have made contact with her. “You can’t imagine what it felt like in those moments when I didn’t know if you were dead or alive.” She snapped her head to face him. “I’m alive, Aidan. I’ve been alive all this time and I never saw such concern from you since I left the cabin.” She took a deep breath, willing the anger away. “As you can see I’m fine. I appreciate your concern, but well, it’s not necessary anymore and we both know it. There’s no arrangement between us so you don’t have to pretend.” “You think I was pretending when we were up at Bear Ridge? Everything we did, what I felt and told you. It was all pretense?” She didn’t. But regardless of how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise, it stung that he had been so quick to forget her and get back to his normal life. “I shouldn’t have said that.” She put on a smile meant to placate him. “Anyway, thanks all the same for visiting. I’m sure you have your work to get back to. I’m probably going to get more visitors tomorrow, so I don’t want you to feel obligated to keep me company.” “I love you,” he stated simply. “What did you say?” She had to have misheard. Aidan placed the cup on the metal stand. “I said I love you. This incident today. You have no idea how much it scared me, reminded me of—” “Reminded you of when you lost your wife and daughter?” she finished for him. He nodded. “Yes, I won’t lie. It brought back the memories. I was afraid of losing you and not being able to tell you how I feel.” Aidan was saying all the things she had waited and dreamed of hearing, but something about his declaration of love left her numb. She loved him, there was no doubt, but why did it take her being laid up in a hospital bed for him to make this gallant confession? He’s only saying it because the situation reminds him of Sarah, she told herself. And she definitely did not want to be a second-rate Sarah for him. “You don’t love me. You got scared today, like you said. I know on some level you care for me. It’s not love, Aidan. I knew that before the holiday was over but it didn’t stop me from laying it all out

for you. I never made it a secret that I love you. I didn’t say it to pressure you into returning the sentiment. That’s why I left without telling you. I kept to my word. Your heart is safe, as always. No need to feel you owe me anything.” He lowered his head. “That’s not true, sweetheart. You’re right, though. I should have tried to contact you sooner and I can only say it’s because I was still afraid to open my heart.” Liya took a deep breath and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Aidan.” Shoulders slumped, he asked. “What is it going to take for you to believe I love you?” Her heart twisted at the anguish in his voice. She wanted to believe him so badly, but it would serve no good to either of them if she grabbed a hold of his declaration brought about because of her injury. “I don’t know,” she replied honestly. “I just know it’s not fair to either of us and I don’t want to feel like I’ve forced your hand into feeling something for me that you don’t.” Liya turned to him and grazed the back of her hand against his jaw. “This doesn’t mean I’m giving up on us, Aidan. Far from it. I just don’t want any relationship we have to be based on our fears.” He closed his hands over hers and squeezed gently. “You don’t know what you’re asking Liya. I can’t leave you alone.” She wiped away a teardrop from the corner of her eye. She couldn’t believe she was the one backing away from Aidan after all this time. “We just need some more time. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big girl, remember?” Aidan gave her a small smile and shook his head. “You hit your head. There’s no way I can’t not worry about you, sweetheart.” Liya leaned forward and swept her lips against his. “Just don’t keep me waiting a year.” Aidan pressed his forehead to hers. “I won’t. I meant what I said, Liya. I love you and I’m going to prove it to you one way or the other.”

Chapter Twelve For the next month and a half, Aidan kept to their agreement. As much as it pained him, he stayed away from Liya, hoping she too would suffer from the heartache of denying their love. He wanted her to miss him and yearn for him as he did her. But more important, he wanted Liya to realize that those three words he had told her in the hospital room were not borne out of fear, but out of a genuine desire to spend his life with her. Liya might not have believed him then, but Aidan hoped that would change when she saw everything he had done. The apartment he had shared for so many years with Sarah was now listed on the market for sale. He had seen how much Liya enjoyed being outside of the city, but at the same time, both of their lives were still rooted here: he, with the hospital and clinic, and Liya with student teaching at one of the local elementary schools. Aidan had found the perfect place just outside the city: a white two-story colonial house surrounded by sugar maple and birch trees, with grass the realtor assured him was as green as emeralds in the springtime. It was going to be their house. At least if he could convince Liya once and for all that his love had only to do with her and no one or anything else. Setting the last box on the hardwood floor, Aidan glanced up at his friend who had taken the time to help him move into the house. He scrubbed a hand to his jaw. One thing was for certain, his feelings for Liya never would have been challenged or brought so swiftly to light if it hadn’t been the meddling of his friend, James, who stood leaning against the breakfast nook pouring a glass of champagne. “Isn’t it a bit late for that?” Aidan asked dryly, pointing to the champagne glass in his friend’s hand, miniscule bubbles sparkling below the surface. James chuckled. “I’m celebrating.” “What, might I be so bold to ask?” James raised the glass in the air. “You. The new place. My scheming, and Liya mostly, for putting up with you for those three days in the cabin.” Aidan clenched his fists. He was glad James mentioned it because despite everything that had taken place in the past two months he had been meaning to chew him out for sending Liya alone

up there without any assurances that she wouldn’t be alone. “What if I hadn’t shown up? That’s two hours’ drive back and forth on the icy roads. I know you were trying to help, but if you ever pull a stunt like that again, you’re a dead man.” James carefully placed the champagne glass on the counter and threw his head back, laughter rising from his chest. “Just tell me one thing, when is the wedding?” Aidan grimaced. “More like, will the woman believe a word that comes out of my mouth?” He could easily tell her how much he loved her. That she wasn’t a stand in, but a gift from the heavens for everything he had been through, the actual words weren’t a hardship for him. Without a doubt, Liya meant everything to him. What he hated to admit, however, was the most painful thing, a thought that was as much sickening as joyous. Every road in his life led to her. From packing up and moving from California to the East Coast because Sarah had missed the rich copper of Vermont autumns, to the decision to open the clinic and more importantly, hire Liya because it felt right, although she had no experience as a receptionist or in the medical field save for taking care of her brother. James grabbed his jacket and maneuvered around one of the many moving boxes he had yet to unpack. “There’ll be a wedding. Just make sure to schedule Hendricks or someone else to take over surgeries that day, eh? Best man duties and all.” First he needed to find Liya and show her that from here on out he wanted to make new memories with her. **** The next day Aidan tracked her down. She hadn’t been at home, although the elderly woman from across the hallway, peeking out of her door, let him know that she had just seen Liya from her window walking toward the park. On one hand he was grateful, but on the other, it was all too easy for the old woman to share this knowledge with anyone. He didn’t bother to get into his car since the park was down the block from Liya’s apartment building. He opened the cast iron gates and entered the city park, deserted save for three children running through the snow, laughter fluttering through the air as they pelted each other with snowballs. He smiled at the children. Would he and Liya have kids one day? Then he thought about the precautions he had taken while they

made love. Aidan hung his head. He knew she understood, but it had to hurt nonetheless that he had been so unwilling to share such an intimacy with her as giving her his seed. He hoped any children they had together would be as caring as Liya and have her beauty not just on the outside. He loved her just the way she was: gorgeous, soft and female. And on the ice…she looked like an angel. Aidan was grateful she had made a full recovery from the accident and Dr. Samson had told him he didn’t anticipate Liya having any problems in the future because of the blow to the head. He noted that she had on a pair of skates identical to the pair in the gift box lying on the backseat of his car. Her arms were held out until she slowed, spun in an elegant circle then jammed the point of the blade in the ice. She had seen him. A rogue corkscrew curl fell onto her forehead, resting on her lush lips. She plucked it off and stared openly at him before skating over, a big smile on her face. “Aidan!” He slipped a hand in his pocket, unsettled by her friendliness. It was too easygoing. “You’re happy to see me?” She giggled and hopped off the ice. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be? How are things at the clinic?” For the first time in his life he was rendered speechless. She was utter loveliness and he wanted to fall to the ground and thank the heavens for giving her to him. “The clinic is running. How are you doing? No headaches?” She shook her head, her smile bright as ever. “I’m doing great. No headaches or anything. What about you? How are you doing? You know, I’ve thought about calling you a couple of time, but well, I figured you were doing fine, so I didn’t. And I didn’t want you to think I was trying to pressure you.” He wanted to shake her. There was nothing to smile or laugh about and he damn well wasn’t doing well. Today was the first time in days he had shaven. He was grayer than ever and his leg was still bum as ever. The way she was acting he’d think she had given up on them and had someone new in her life.

“You’re seeing someone, aren’t you?” he asked flatly. He felt stupid even doing it, but he looked around to see if somewhere a younger man would be coming out of the woodwork. She sighed. “Is that what you came here to find out?” “Yes,” he hissed. Aidan took a deep breath. He was acting badly. Relax, Keegan. His hands trembled. “I mean, no. No, that’s not what I came for.” She made him feel like a fucking boy. She moved over to the park bench. Aidan joined her, watching her remove the skates. “Can I join you next time?” She looked up at him, her brows knotted as if she had misheard. “You mean to skate?” He hadn’t done so since he was a child, but it was the only weapon he could use right now to get closer to her. “Yes. I won’t be any good at it, but you look so beautiful out there, I thought…” She cocked her head to the side and lifted a brow. “Seriously, Aidan. What is the meaning of your little visit? You’ve never been poetic, now you’re telling me how beautiful I look on the ice, so much it makes you want to get out there with me and risk your leg? I’m not following.” Heat flushed into his cheeks. Did she really have to be so plainspoken? He saw her eyes shining, staring back at him awaiting an answer. Damn, he wouldn’t have her any other way. Not a single pound lighter, not quieter, nothing. He looked down at his hand and spoke. “I moved out of the apartment. It’s up for sale, actually.” Her eyes widened and he nodded, bolstered by the flicker he saw behind them. “Yeah. It was the right time.” “Why is that?” she asked softly. He gave her a hesitant smile and touched her cheek, brushing his thumb across the soft flesh. “Because I felt that it was time. I have them.” He flattened his hand above his heart. “They’ll always be in here, and I know you won’t mind, because they were a part of my life and something I can never erase, nor would I want to. But you…” He drew her closer until she was sitting on his lap on the cold park bench. “You are my life. You’re the woman I was meant to be with. You’re the one I’m going to devote my life to. You’re not second best, sweetheart. Not in a million years. At first I was terrified of starting

over, then once I realized how much I loved and wanted you, I was gripped with fear that it meant you would also be taken away.” “You’re not worried anymore?” “I think about it, yes, but I suppose it’s something that goes through everyone’s mind about the person they love the most. Either I let it affect me and paralyze me, or I can put it out of my mind and make a future with you. No matter what happens, we both know our love will last forever, right? So in that sense, we’ll never be separated.” She linked her arms around his neck. “Forever,” she agreed. “I love you, forever.” He felt tears sting the back of his eyes. “I love you, too.” They embraced and sat together in a peaceful silence until Liya asked, “You came this far out here…would you like to see my apartment?” “I’d love to.” She grinned and linked her arms through his. “Well, it’s nothing grand, but I like it.” “Enough that you wouldn’t move in with me?” She stopped and turned to face him. “Are you asking?” He grinned. “I bought a house, Liya. Do you know why?” “To live in?” He wanted to laugh but couldn’t. Not at a moment like this. “I did it for you. To show you I meant every word I said. I want you and a whole passel of children.” “Does that mean you’ll…” Her voice trailed. Aidan chuckled. Now she chose to act shy. “If you take out your keys before we reach the door, then yeah.” She fished into her pocket and whipped out the key. Her arm clamped around his as she practically dragged him behind her. They made it inside the apartment. With fevered eyes, Liya told him, “You owe me big time, Aidan Keegan.” Liya spoke in jest, but Aidan knew she was right. He looked around the neatly furnished apartment. This was where the little vixen came home to each day after driving him over the edge and back. He smiled to himself. Those days were over, for both of them, returning home to an empty place.

“You owe me, too,” he said suddenly. She was after all the one who ran out the morning after Christmas. “I do?” Aidan nodded and twirled a strand of dark hair around his fingers. “Very much so. I’m still upset with you for sneaking out on me after Christmas. I have no idea how you did it. All I know is that I woke up expecting to find the softest and sweetest bundle beside me, and what happens? I wake up cold and alone in an empty bed.” He tilted her chin. “Now, if the situation were reversed, Ms. Emerson, how would you have reacted?” She crinkled her adorable nose and peered upward. “Pissed would be a mild word for it.” Aidan slid his hand along her spine, stopping at the small of her back, right above her lush bottom. “I await my apology.” Liya pressed forward, tilting her hips against his groin. “I’m sorry.” “That won’t do.” She stroked the bulge and bit her lips. “I’m sorry, Dr. Keegan?” Aidan shook his head and cinched his fist around her wrist. “Try again.” She stepped out of the thick winter clothes. Once naked, Liya crouched on the carpet on all fours and stuck her plump bottom in the air. Anticipation pumped through Aidan’s entire body. His cock jumped and went ramrod hard, jutting forward as he shrugged out of his clothes as fast as possible. “Spread yourself for me,” Aidan commanded. She reached between her thighs and, using two fingers, separated her folds and widened her legs. He exhaled loudly. Liya was soaking wet. Stopping behind her, Aidan replaced her fingers with his, petting between her legs. “Do you know what’s going to happen right now?” She mewled and nodded. “You’re going to fuck me.” He chuckled low and sank a finger into her center, relishing the sound of her gasp. “Well, yes. I will fuck you. Every single day, to be specific. What I meant was, I’m going to come inside you.” Her body trembled immediately. He added another finger and continued smoothly. “I can feel your cunt tightening around my fingers,

sweetheart. I take it my words excite you?” Aidan grasped a handful of hair and tugged lightly until she swiveled and looked at him. “Y-yes. They do. I’ve wanted it for so long. Wanted more since the last time you started.” “I’m going to fuck you from behind and fill you with sperm until you’re dripping, Liya, and then I’m going to flip you over and start all over again.” She whimpered loudly and pushed against his fingers. “W— where?” she stuttered. Aidan leaned forward and kissed her nape. “Everywhere. I know how hungry you are for my cock in your mouth and a load of cum in your belly.” He caressed her bottom. “In here too. I’ve never fucked a woman there, but I will before the night is done.” Her entire frame shivered around his fingers. Aidan withdrew afraid she would orgasm too quickly. “Not yet, love. You’re not coming around anything unless it’s my cock.” “Then hurry.” He held the base and pushed into her wet opening just barely. “Then hurry, what?” “Please,” she panted. “Hurry, please.” He drew back and plunged hard, wasting no time in giving her every inch. Her ass rubbed against his pubic hair. Aidan pressed forward, thrusting until he felt the tip of his cock slamming against the barrier that told him it was physically impossible to go any further. He withdrew, snaked his arm around her waist and battered against her cervix, her low cries spurring him on. “Harder. Use my pussy harder, Aidan.” Aidan growled and pushed her head forward until it was hovering above the ground and drove into her, using her as she begged. “Take it, baby.” Her breasts jiggled and slapped against her chest with each vicious thrust he doled out. Aidan dug his fingers into her soft flesh, held on for dear life and pounded until he could barely see straight or hear anything save for the throbbing in his ears. Not even her screams of pleasure were loud enough to combat the blood rushing through his entire body. He was going to come inside her. The thought summoned something primitive within him. Harder and harder he fucked her as sperm churned in his balls. The veins in his shaft grew heavy under the weight of his cum surging upward.

“Liya.” Aidan groaned her name and buried his face in the crook of her neck as the hot flood of semen rushed out, shooting against her womb. Unsure for how long they laid entwined with Liya’s supple body accepting his seed, Aidan lifted his head when the pounding in his heart ceased and the last squirt spilled outside her womb. She turned to him, eyes wide. “Is it always like that?” Aidan gulped. Honestly. No. He accepted it and knew the love he found with Liya was extraordinary. There was nothing to be guilty about. It just was and he couldn’t or wouldn’t change it, or the love he had for Sarah. “Only with the person you love the most.” He withdrew and rolled to the side, gathering her to him. “I mean it, Liya. You’re my one and only.” She smiled and cuddled into him. “If that’s the truth, Aidan, then I think it’s good I fell in love with a cardiologist, because I really don’t think my heart is gonna hold up for more than a year with another orgasm like that.” Aidan laughed and kissed her forehead. “Then I’ll just have to schedule regular check-ups for my new bride everyday. Another reason to get a view of those lovely pair of breasts.” Her brows shot upward. “New bride?” Aidan swallowed down a lump of nervousness. Was she really going to make him ask? “I mean, that is if you’ve nothing against the idea.” She smiled. “That’s not a proposal, Aidan. Try again.” He gritted his teeth and smiled inwardly. “I apologize, Ms. Emerson. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Please.” He lay back, expecting a smart reply. Aidan was shocked at the fresh sheen of tears dancing in her eyes. Liya, speechless and crying? Maybe he needed to beg harder. Aidan drew her closer and whispered against her ear. “Please marry me, sweetheart.” Finally she giggled and wiped away a tear. “I just wanted to enjoy and let the moment settle in. I was ready to marry you months ago.” She was his Liya again. “Good, because James already toasted to us and announced himself best man.”

Her eyes widened. “You mean James, as in Dr. Northrop, who if you hadn’t come, sent me up alone on that deserted mountain.” “Same one.” She pursed her lips. “Would it be so wrong if we gave him the wrong location and wrong time of year for the wedding?” Aidan laughed and drew Liya to him. God, he loved her. She could do whatever the hell she wanted and he’d follow along like a lovesick fool. No, not a fool. Just a man who knew when to recognize and cherish the love of his life.

The End

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Tempting Mr. Parker Indecent Encounters Riding the Storm Love Unspoken

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