Chocoheaven (Gift Book)

Copyright © Summersdale Publishers Ltd 2004 No part of this book may be reproduced by any means, nor transmitted, nor translated into a machine language, without the written permission of the publisher. Summersdale Publishers Ltd 46 West Street Chichester West Sussex PO19 1RP UK www.summersdale.com Printed and bound in Great Britain ISBN 1 84024 387 2 Cover photo: Michael Pohuski/FoodPix/Getty Images

Contents Choco-Chronicle...........................................................7 Top-of-the-Chocs..........................................................12 Chocotionary...................................................................17 Choco-Love......................................................................25 Choco-Lust....................................................................29 Easter Eggs.......................................................................33 Truffle Trivia....................................................................36 A Choco Party...................................................................43 Choc-Cook.....................................................................53 Choco-Horoscopes........................................................74 Top-Choco-Tips.............................................................82

4

‘Everyone has a price… mine is chocolate.’ Unknown

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Choco-Chronicle

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‘In the beginning God created chocolate and he saw that it was good. Then He separated the light from the dark and saw that it was better.’ Unknown Once upon a time there was a small but perfectly formed cacao bean. Its posh name was (and indeed still is) Theobroma Cacao, which means ‘food of the gods’. The Maya people were the first to twig to this amazing little bean over 1500 years ago. They believed it possessed awesome powers and used it in worship rituals. The Aztecs also held the cacao bean in similar esteem and associated it with their god, Quetzalcoatl. Both cultures used the beans as currency, and also as the basis of a brew that they believed would imbue them with power and wisdom. 8

For the Europeans, though, it wasn’t until the Spaniard Christopher Columbus went on his travels in the sixteenth century that the bean’s properties began to become known. Columbus returned to Spain from his journeys of discovery to the Americas, and among the gifts he presented to the King and Queen was the precious cacao bean. This wee bean was to take the Western World by storm, inciting a passion for chocolate that people were only too happy to embrace. Though the Spanish invented a sweet hot chocolate drink, France really caught on to the chocolate frenzy around 1643 and from that point onward the drink was very fashionable in the Court of Louis XIV. Some believe that chocolate has aphrodisiac properties and, true or not, it was chocolate’s reputation as sugary Viagra that made it extremely popular in Paris. Ooh la la! 9

In 1657 chocolate was finally available in Britain. A Frenchman opened the first chocolate house in London but, because chocolate was considered a luxury item, it was only the upper classes that got their hands on it. Chocolate quickly became seen as a cure-all, and doctors began recommending chocolate for nearly every malady – including weight loss! This mass popularity meant that eventually prices fell and chocolate houses popped up all over the country and by 1700 they were as common as cafés are today. By the nineteenth century the British and Americans were adding milk to their chocolate drinks and cocoa to their cakes. This led to the creation of solid chocolate bars by the likes of J. S. Fry and Sons of 10

Bristol and the Cadbury brothers in Birmingham in the UK, and the Hershey Chocolate Company in the States. By the end of the nineteenth century chocolate was available for mass consumption. By the twentieth century it was so commonplace that in the Second World War chocolate was a major part of soldiers’ rations. ‘It’s not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let’s face it, far more reliable than a man.’ Miranda Ingram

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Top-of-the-Chocs

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For many chocoholics anything that resembles chocolate will do in an emergency, but in reality everyone has their favourite. But whom, historically, do we have to thank for our beloved bonbons? If it’s a bar of Turkish Delight or Fry’s Peppermint Cream that floats your boat then you can thank J. S. Fry and Sons. A Quaker physician and a self-taught chocolate-maker, Fry opened the first major chocolate company in the UK in Bristol in 1748. Today’s top chocs include the evergreen favourite Dairy Milk. This, along with the likes of Fruit & Nut, Bournville and chocolate Buttons are all the chocohandiwork of another Quaker, John Cadbury. Probably the largest chocolate producer in the UK, 13

Cadbury started life as a small shop opened in Birmingham in 1824. Lindt & Sprüngli, best known simply as Lindt, is the favourite Swiss brand. The product of two companies, this chocolate is gorgeously milky – their choco animals are a joy to bite the heads off! The Nestlé Company was started through the research of Swiss pharmacist Henri Nestlé in the 1860s who was seeking an alternative to mother’s milk for infants who could not breastfeed. By the 1920s chocolate was the company’s second most important product. Nestlé merged with the UK’s Rowntree Company in 1988, makers of the KitKat and the children’s favourite, Smarties. Introduced 14

in 1937, apparently 18,000 Smarties are eaten in the UK every minute! In the USA, Milton Hershey began making chocolate as coating for his caramels and in 1894, the Hershey Chocolate Company was born as a sideline to the caramel business. In 1900 Hershey sold his caramel company to concentrate on manufacturing his chocolate. The Hershey Company’s best-selling chocolate products include the individually wrapped Hershey’s Kisses and, in collaboration with the H. B. Reese Candy Company, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, which is probably America’s most famous chocolate treat.

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‘Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then just eat one of the pieces.’ Judith Viorst, writer

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Chocotionary

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Bitter Chocolate Also known as unsweetened chocolate, although it often contains a small amount of sweetening. It is the chocolate best suited to baking and cooking and is valued by chocolate connoisseurs as its high cocoa solid percentage means a purer and better quality of chocolate. Cacao Beans The beans from which chocolate is derived. Cacao Tree The fruit of the cacao tree are large pods that contain 30 to 40 beans. This evergreen tree was first discovered in South America. 18

Chocoholic A choccy addict – a title most of us can lay claim to! Chocolate Liqueur The cold alcoholic version of a hot chocolate drink. Does it get any better? Chocolatier The French term for the best sort of people – those who make and sell chocolate.

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Cocoa Butter The yellow-white vegetable fat that comes from the cacao bean. It is removed from chocolate liquid during a refining process at high pressure. As well as being a chocolate product it is also used in cosmetics and moisturisers and is supposed to be great for reducing stretch marks caused by pregnancy.

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Cocoa Powder What remains when cocoa butter is removed from chocolate liquid, cocoa powder is what is used in making a hot drink of the same name. Conching The process that turns raw chocolate into the smooth stuff we adore. The chocolate is heated and rolled by granite conch-shaped rollers – hence the name. Couveture Chocolate A chocolate containing extra cocoa butter for pouring and dipping purposes. Also known as coating chocolate as it is primarily used by luxury chocolatiers to form a very thin shell of chocolate for truffles. 21

Dark Chocolate Made by mixing chocolate liquid with varying amounts of sweetening and cocoa butter. Drinking Chocolate Unlike the cocoa drink, this should be made with real, solid chocolate mixed with sugar, milk and cream. It is extremely rich and thick. Fondants or Creams Sugar-based centres for chocolate that can be flavoured. Milk Chocolate Milk or cream is added to a mixture of chocolate liquid, cocoa butter, vanilla and sweetening. 22

Praline Made with finely ground nuts and chocolate or caramel. A common filling in Belgian chocolates. Truffles A fluffy chocolate, cream and butter mixture, these sweets were named after the expensive French mushroom that they were thought to resemble. White Chocolate Contains no cocoa powder and so is not considered a ‘true’ chocolate by choco-snobs. A combination of vanilla, milk solids, cocoa butter and sugar, white chocolate is made with vegetable fat instead of cocoa butter. 23

‘There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.’ Linda Grayson, The Pickwick Papers

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Choco-Love

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Casanova believed chocolate to be the ‘elixir of love’. The Mayans drank chocolate as part of their engagement and wedding rituals. Doctors once prescribed chocolate to reduce the pain of unrequited love.

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Chocolate is the most popular token in affairs of the heart, beating both flowers and perfume. It has become a traditional part of Western courtship rituals. Fact: a romantic meal just isn’t complete without a rich chocolate dessert. Italian lovers exchange ‘baci’, or ‘kisses’, which are wrapped chocolates that contain a romantic message on the inside of the wrapper.

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‘There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who love chocolate, and communists.’ Leslie Oak Murray in Murray’s Law comic strip

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Choco-Lust

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Chocolate is not only thought of as a romantic pleasure but a sensual and sexual one too. A favourite image of the early movies was the blonde, beautiful leading lady in a luxurious bed, sensuously chomping her way through a box of chocs. Sex has been used to sell chocolate for years – the idea of melted chocolate smeared on a naked body and licked off by a lover’s tongue is the hidden undertone of most chocolate adverts. Chocolate has been considered an aphrodisiac for centuries. The Aztecs believed that chocolate invigorated men and released women from their inhibitions. The Aztec emperor, Montezuma, certainly believed in these properties of chocolate. With a sizeable harem to entertain, he is reputed to 30

have needed up to 50 goblets of chocolate a day to keep his passion at its peak. Ding-dong! Casanova would drink chocolate instead of champagne to induce that loving feeling. He also gave it to those he desired as a means of having his wicked way with them. In the seventeenth century chocolate was very commonly employed as an aphrodisiac within the French Court. Art and literature of the period contains strong erotic themes supposedly inspired by chocolate.

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The Marquis de Sade also believed in the sexual qualities of chocolate. In 1772 the naughty boy held a ball and added chocolate to the dessert. The gathering descended into a lustful frenzy with the Marquis arrested shortly after the party ended. However, whether this result was due to the chocolate or to other ingredients the Marquis may have added remains a mystery. ‘Twill make Old Women Young and Fresh; Create New Motions of the Flesh. And cause them long for you know what If they but taste of chocolate.’ From A History of the Nature and Quality of Chocolate by James Wadworth (1768–1844)

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Easter Eggs

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An aeon before it became the huge choc-in that it is today, Easter was celebrated with all manner of rituals and traditions all over the world. The egg, symbolic of fertility and new life, was originally painted with Spring-like colours to represent the season, a time of growth and fruitfulness. A similar practice belonging to the Catholic faith was to take baskets of food to Mass on Easter morning to be blessed by the priest. It is thought that these customs inspired chocolatemakers to produce baskets of chocolate eggs, which in turn led to the depiction in chocolate of fabled characters such as the Easter Bunny.

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Now the boom-time of year for chocolate sales, more than 250,000 tons of chocolate is sold in the run-up to Easter, including everyone’s favourite: Cadbury’s Creme Egg. Often imitated, this fondantfilled and foil-wrapped piece of heaven has never been surpassed. ‘Man cannot live by chocolate alone; but woman sure can!’ Unknown

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Truffle Trivia

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The British eat approximately 11 kg of chocolate per person per year. In the 1600s chocolate was so valuable in England that the government put a huge duty on it of fifteen shillings per pound. This means that at the time chocolate was worth three-quarters of its weight in gold. The heaviest chocolate model ever created was a 4.2 m x 4.2 m x 2 m house. It was made in Argentina in 1997 and weighed over 5 tons. It was chocolate syrup, not fake blood, that was used to create the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s film Psycho.

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At the Eurochocolate 2000 exhibition in Turin, Italy, the largest ever chocolate bar was created weighing 2,280 kg. Queen Victoria sent chocolate bars as a New Year’s greeting to soldiers fighting in the Boer War in 1900. The tallest chocolate model was made in Barcelona, Spain – an 8.5 m tall chocolate sailing ship. One chocolate chip provides an adult with enough energy to walk 150 feet. Therefore, it would take about 875,000 chocolate chips for an adult to walk around the world.

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Many of Britain’s earliest and most popular chocolate manufacturers were members of the Society of Friends, or Quakers, including the Cadbury brothers, J. S. Fry and Sons, Rowntree’s and Terry’s of York. Many of the Quakers began producing chocolate as an alternative to alcohol. Switzerland consumes the most chocolate per year and there are 20 chocolatiers in Geneva alone. The largest chocolate praline was created in Belgium in 2000. It was 7 m long, 35 cm in diameter and weighed 920 kg.

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The most valuable chocolate bar is the one that returned from Captain Scott’s 1901–1904 expedition to the Antarctic. The bar is now over 100 years old and was sold at auction for £470 in 2001. Chocolate can be frozen for up to six months (although why you would want to leave chocolate tucked away for so long beggars belief). The longest chocolate salami was made on 1st June 2001 in Lisbon, Portugal, where it is a local delicacy. It was 75 m long and weighed 500 kg.

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Napoleon apparently carried chocolate with him on all his military excursions to eat if he needed a quick energy-boost. The mixed assortment box Milk Tray was created by the Cadbury company in 1914 and became known in the 1980s for its elaborate advertising campaign. But in 2003 womankind suffered a major blow: the leather-clad hunk who had been used in the TV advertising for years was tragically axed. Getting up to all sorts of dare-devil stunts in order to deliver a box of the chocs, the famous slogan was ‘all because the lady loves Milk Tray’.

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‘I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process… It may not be true but dare I take the chance?’ Unknown

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A Choco Party

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The Great Chocolate Race You will need: a very large slab of chocolate a plate dice one pair of large gloves a hat a scarf a coat a knife and fork Any number can play but make sure you have plenty of chocolate for greater numbers of players.

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To play: Sit the players in a large circle with all equipment placed in the centre so it is accessible to everyone. The players take it in turns to roll the dice. When a player rolls a six they must run to the centre of the circle, put on all the clothing as quickly as possible, then try to cut up the chocolate with the knife and fork and eat the individual pieces. Meanwhile, the remaining players continue to roll the dice. When another six is thrown the turn of the person cutting the chocolate ends and they must stop, remove the hat, scarf, gloves and coat and pass them, with the knife and fork, to the player who has just rolled a six. Again the remaining players throw the dice until another six is thrown. And so play continues until the chocolate is finished – the aim of the game being to scoff the most chocolate! 45

The Flour Game You will need: flour a piece of chocolate a bowl a plate a plastic sheet a knife This game is best played by between 4 and 8 players.

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To play: Lay down the plastic sheet and get the players to sit in a circle. In the same way you would make a sandcastle, make a flour castle on the plate using the bowl. Place a piece of chocolate on the top of flour castle. Take it in turns to use the knife to cut chunks off the flour castle without causing it to collapse. The player who causes it to collapse must retrieve the small chocolate piece with their mouths (no hands!) from the flour ruins. Make sure you are near a sink as the person will have to wash their mouth out thoroughly afterwards… but they do get to eat the chocolate!

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Look, no hands! You will need: chocolates with a crisp sugar shell a bowl of flour for each player a watch or clock to time with an empty bowl for each player a plastic sheet Any number can play, but 4 is a good number of players for this rather messy game.

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To play: Place an equal amount of the chocolates in each player’s flour-bowl, placing their empty bowls by the side. Set a time limit for the game: 2 minutes is good. When the time begins, each player must attempt to retrieve as many of the chocolate pieces as they can from the flour and transfer them into the empty bowls. However, they must only use their mouths – hands must remain behind their backs. The winner is of course the person who retrieves the most chocolate by the time the clock runs out. You could use whipped cream or chocolate mousse instead of flour for a more tasty game…

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The Chocolate Kissing Game for Chocoholics You will need: several willing-to-pucker players a bottle a hat containing pieces of paper, with parts of the body and kissing styles written on them (see p. 52) some good quality chocolate A game for any number of players…

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To play: Firstly, fold up all the pieces of paper so that the writing is not visible. Sit the players in a circle and spin the bottle. Whoever the bottle points to (Player A) must choose a piece of paper from the hat. He or she then spins the bottle again and the person it points to this time (Player B) has to kiss Player A in the kissing style / on the body part written on the piece of paper. The kisser (Player B) is then rewarded with a piece of chocolate. He or she then picks a piece of paper, spins the bottle and the game continues. The winner is the person with the most chocolate at the end and who will therefore have done the most kissing! The chocolate may be used in the kissing for variety.

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Some suggestions for the slips of paper: A butterfly kiss (using your eyelashes on their cheek) A foot kiss A long kiss Ten small kisses, each on a different part of the body Share the chocolate whilst kissing and see how long it can be made to last Wild kiss – any type of kiss anywhere…

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Choc-Cook

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Most Chocolatey Brownies Ingredients: 4 oz / 100 g of butter or margarine 8 oz / 200 g of sugar 1 tsp of vanilla essence 2 eggs 4 oz /100 g of plain flour 3 oz / 75 g of your favourite cocoa powder 1/4 tsp of baking powder 1/4 tsp of salt Optional: 4 oz / 100 g of chopped nuts small chunks of chocolate 54

Preheat the oven to 180ºC / 350ºF / Gas Mark 4. Grease a 9 x 9 inch baking tray. Mix the butter, sugar and vanilla essence together in a bowl. Add the eggs and beat well using a spoon. Stir together the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt and add to the egg mixture through a sieve, beating as you go to create a smooth consistency. Add the nuts and a good handful of chocolate chunks, if desired, and mix well. Spread the mixture evenly into the baking tray and bake for 20–25 minutes, or until the brownies start to pull away from the edge of the pan. Cut into squares and leave the brownies to cool in their tray. 55

‘What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead.’ George Bernard Shaw, author and playwright

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The Real McCoy ‘...a cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food.’ Hernando Cortez, fellow traveller of Christopher Columbus Ingredients: 6 oz / 150 g of chopped dark chocolate 1/2 pint / 250 ml of water 1 1/2 pints / 750 ml of whole milk cinnamon to taste 4 oz / 100 g of caster sugar 1/4 pint / 125 ml of double cream 1 tsp vanilla essence 4 oz / 100 g cream whipped with 1 tbs of icing sugar 57

Place the chocolate and water in a saucepan over a low heat, stirring until smooth. Meanwhile, mix the milk and cinnamon in another saucepan and warm over a medium heat until bubbles form around the edge of the pan. Whisk the chocolate mixture into the milk, add the sugar and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for 5 minutes. Mix in the cream and continue to simmer on a low heat. Stir in the vanilla essence. Serve in 4 mugs topped with the sugared whipped cream. 58

‘Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get.’ Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks) in the film Forrest Gump

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Wickedest Choccy Biccies Ingredients: 8 oz / 200 g of butter 4 oz / 100 g of caster sugar 1 tsp of chocolate essence (or thick sauce) 1/2 tsp vanilla essence 8 oz / 200 g of self-raising flour 2 oz / 50 g of cocoa powder 2 good handfuls of milk chocolate and white chocolate chunks Beat the butter and sugar until a light creamy colour and add the chocolate essence or sauce.

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Sift the flour and cocoa into the mixture and beat together gradually, adding the chocolate chunks. Form the mixture into balls and flatten onto a greased baking tray. Bake at 190ºC/375ºF/Gas Mark 5 for about 12 minutes. Cool and serve. ‘What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate…’ Katherine Hepburn, Actress

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Choco-Fudge Sauce Ingredients: 1/4 pint / 125 ml of double cream 2 oz / 50 g of butter 3 1/2 oz / 85 g of soft brown sugar 1 oz / 25 g of cocoa a pinch of salt Put the cream and butter into a saucepan and heat, stirring, until smooth. Add the sugar and cook at a moderate temperature until the sugar dissolves, stirring the mixture constantly.

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Sift the cocoa and salt into the mixture and stir until smooth. Bring just to the boil and serve immediately, poured over cakes – or whatever takes your fancy!

‘Exercise is a dirty word… Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.’ Unknown

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Cheeseychococake Ingredients: 5 oz / 125 g of crushed chocolate chip biscuits 3 oz / 75 g of butter 9 oz / 225 g of dark chocolate 1/3 pint / 150 ml of double cream 1/5 pint / 100 ml of single cream 8 oz / 200 g of mascarpone cheese 4 oz / 100 g of cream cheese 2 tbs of coffee liqueur 2 oz / 50 g of caster sugar 2 crumbled Flake bars some strawberries and blueberries for decoration

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Grease a removable-base cake tin. Melt the butter then combine with the crushed biscuits. Use this mixture to line cake tin base and transfer to a freezer to harden. Mix the mascarpone, cream cheese, coffee liqueur and sugar until blended. Melt 2/3 of the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of simmering water and then stir into the cheese. Whip the double cream and fold into the mixture. Pour into the cake tin on top of the biscuit base and place in the refrigerator until set. Melt half of the remainder of the chocolate and when cooled slightly, smooth over the top of the 65

cheesecake. This will serve as an adhesive for the rest of the crumbled Flake scattered over the top of the cheesecake and the fruit decoration.

‘Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso.’ (Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.) Spanish Proverb

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Choco-Cola Cake Ingredients: 8 oz / 200 g of flour 8 oz / 200 g of sugar 2 tbs of cocoa 2 oz / 50 g of butter or margarine 1/8 pint / 60 ml of olive oil 1/4 pint / 125 ml of cola 1/8 pint / 60 ml of buttermilk 1 tsp of bicarbonate of soda 1 egg 6 oz / 150 g of mini marshmallows 1 tsp of vanilla essence

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Grease a cake tin. Sift the flour and sugar together into a large bowl. Combine the butter, oil, cocoa powder and cola in a saucepan then heat gently until just boiling. Stir in the marshmallows. Remove from the heat and pour the mixture over the flour and sugar, stirring as you go until all the ingredients are blended. Then add the buttermilk, soda, egg and vanilla and beat for a couple of minutes. Bake for 30 minutes at 180ºC / 350ºF / Gas Mark 4. Pour the topping (below) over the cake while still warm.

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Choco-Cola Cake Topping Ingredients: 2 oz / 50 g of butter or margarine 3 tbs of cocoa powder 6 tbs of cola 6 oz / 150 g of icing sugar 1 tsp of vanilla essence Combine the butter, cocoa powder and cola in a saucepan and heat to boiling point. Pour over the sugar, add the vanilla and mix well. Spread over the cake while it’s still warm. You can also add chopped nuts to the topping if desired.

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Q: A:

Why is there no Chocoholics Anonymous? No one wants to quit!

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Chilli-Choc Chocolate works in chilli, it really does! This recipe serves 6–8 people. Ingredients: 1 1/2 lb / 750 g lean pork or beef mince olive oil 4 large red onions, diced finely 4 cloves of garlic, crushed 3 tins of chopped tomatoes 2 tsp of chilli powder 2 tsp of cumin 2 tsp of cinnamon 1 tbs of oregano 71

2 tbs of cocoa powder 2 cans of red kidney beans Fry the onions in a little oil until transparent. Add the garlic and fry for a further minute. Add the meat and cook, stirring continuously until it browns. Add all the remaining ingredients except the kidney beans and simmer for one hour. Stir occasionally. Add the kidney beans and cook for a further 20 minutes. If the mixture requires more liquid as you cook, then add a little water.

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‘All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!’ Lucy Van Pelt in Peanuts by Charles M. Shultz

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Choco-Horoscopes

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Aries Aries are the first to dive into a box of chocolates and will only share them around once they have eaten all the praline truffles. It’s not that they are greedy but they know what they like and they won’t butt out until they’ve got it. Taurus Taureans are slow in choosing their chocolate but once they have selected their favourite they will remain faithful to it forever more. They are especially fond of milk chocolate, which, if denied, can send them into a spectacular snorting fury.

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Gemini With the lowest boredom threshold of the chocosigns, coupled with two-faced tendencies, Geminis will flit between different chocs, analyse each one, proclaim absolute devotion to one in particular and then leg it to the sweetie shop for half a pound of sherbet lemons. Cancer Caught up in the romance of chocolate, our crustacean chums are generous with their truffles where their loved ones are concerned. Will often go for the orange crème as they like the symmetry of a hard exterior concealing a soft centre.

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Leo The most dramatic and extravagant of the chocosigns, Leo’s chocs will always be the most expensive, the most calorific and the most opulently packaged. Eating chocolate is a full-scale production to lions and they expect lots of applause for their party piece: the ability to eat their own body weight in cocoa. Virgo Most likely to make their own chocolates, which will be perfect in every way. Virgos never get chocolate on their clothes or hands and they always put wrappers straight into the bin. Fond of cherry creams.

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Libra Never over-indulges in chocolate and will always resolve any choco-related squabbles between others. Always eats equal amounts of plain and milk chocolate. Scorpio The sexiest sign of all, Scorpio likes to play with chocolate, loves oodles of choco-sauce and has a penchant for novelty chocolates. Blessed with a vivid imagination, Scorpio is the most likely sign to get slapped in their dealings with chocolate.

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Sagittarius Sagi has a childlike curiosity, which will lead them to prod and taste every chocolate in the box. However, they will also want to discuss, at some length, the meaning of chocolate. Capricorn Forceful, magnetic and strident, Capricorn will go for traditional chocolates over new or fancy ones. Will tell you exactly which one you can have and will get very shirty if you disobey.

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Aquarius Used to standing out in a crowd, Aquarius will always opt for the most unique chocolate in the box. If everyone is eating chocolate they will have a bag of pork scratchings or a pickled egg, simply to draw attention to themselves. Pisces Will take the chocolate nearest to them, but is likely to give it to someone less fortunately blessed in chocolate than themselves. Would generally prefer a savoury treat, like a prawn cocktail.

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‘Chocolate doesn’t really make the world go around… but it certainly makes the ride worthwhile!’ Unknown

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Top-Choco-Tips

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If chocolate starts to melt in your hands then you are eating it too slowly.

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Chocolate-covered

raisins count as fruit. Eat as many as you like.

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The Problem: How to

prevent your chocolate melting in a journey home from the supermarket on a hot day in a hot car?

The Solution: Eat it all in the car park. 85

Dieters: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. This will take the edge off your hunger and you’ll eat less.

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A box of chocolates will

provide your calorie intake for the day in one neat package.

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If you can’t eat all your

chocolate then it is possible to store it in the freezer… but if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

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If you are trying to lose

weight, store your chocolate on top of the fridge – calories are afraid of heights and will jump out of the chocolate to save themselves.

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A balanced diet consists of equal amounts of dark and white chocolate.

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There are many

preservatives in chocolate – they make you look younger.

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Remember: Money talks. Chocolate sings.

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‘Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do for the day. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.’ Unknown

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From the heartfelt poetry of Shelley to the lustful verse of Lord Byron, this diverse collection embraces all things romantic and sensuous. Many of the poets in this collection write from experience, and their words of passion, infatuation, longing and tenderness are as powerful now as they were first penned.

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