60 Years of Challenge Blog Edition

Nov 20, 2009 Sexual Tension I'm not worried about always being in a set. All I care about is that when I am talking to a woman I like that I am escalating the vibe. Fast escalation is not about groping women or being sexually direct verbally. It's about quickly escalating the vibe by getting close and maintaining face contact. We are creating non-verbal tension because verbal escalations can be verbally rejected. You should be able to escalate the vibe when talking and listening. To get good at escalating the vibe you need to risk creepy. If being seductive was easy everybody would do it. When the vibe turns sexual, even if it happens by accident, most guys can't deal with the tension and break it. If you win the sexual tension battle she will be the one to blush, act weird and loopy. She is qualifying to you now. Nobody knows what the hell is going on. Her friends and rival male orbiters have no clue because you aren't saying anything and you aren't touching her. Plus your facial expression is neutral (poker face). Since you can't see vibe there is nothing for them to protest. In fact, you can and should be genuine and humble with all the guys. Unlike teasing her, putting out a seductive vibe makes her wonder does he like me? in a good way. There is nothing verbal to do so drop all that shit like be interesting. You don't have to break rapport - in fact you can be a nice guy. Non-verbal sexual tension can be much more effective than verbal sexual tension. Some guys just can't escalate verbally or physically but they can escalate vibe. In the beginning when escalating the vibe you don't want to get baited to break rapport. In fact, her tests are great opportunities to increase the vibe and tension. Just look at her and saying nothing or move closer. Jan 28, 2010 The Non-Verbal Threat With your vibe you are a huge threat but on the verbal level you come across as just a friendly, humble guy. You come in totally under the radar. As such, there is no need to break rapport or argue with other people. This makes you even more dangerous around women. Non-verbal escalation is the preferred method. Physical escalations can be physically

rebuffed and compliments and sex talk can be verbally rejected. But non-verbal escalation can be tough to officially reject. She can't be sure if it's happening. In this system there is no verbal escalation and there is only one move for physical escalation which is hand caressing. Also, because the seduction is mutual, arousal will be much easier because you are working together. Jan 29, 2010 There is NO validation in an IOM Unlike kissing a guy, there is really no ego validation for a girl to have an it's on moment with you. Hand caressing won't ever be viewed as something cool to do at the club and laugh about with her girlfriends tomorrow. Unlike smiling, tapping your arm, laughing, giving you her number or agreeing in principal to meet up an it's on moment is almost impossible for her to fake. There is a small window for you to make the attraction official by mutual caressing. It doesn't matter if you created the attraction, if you don't make it official if never becomes real. Later on if the attraction dips you probably won't be able to make it official then. Take advantage of the high point by solidifying the connection now. When you make attraction official you are given a longer window to create arousal. Jan 31, 2010 Escalation is Not Scary (It's Only One Move) Escalation is not scary. Even if you were talking to the hottest woman in the world there would be NO reason to be scared to escalate.Escalation is making the attraction official and escalation is just testing to see if there is attraction there. There is no need to be scared because escalation is simply grabbing her hand. It's Just One Move There is nothing to be afraid of. The rest of escalation is non-verbal (escalating vibe) and you can't be officially rejected. If she says something, you could make a face like like what are you talking about.

The IOM is really about testing to see if there is attraction there to make it overt and mutual. You couldn't use kissing to test for attraction because too many kiss rejections would set a bad frame. Plus kissing is harder to do - especially in front of other people. Hand caressing gives you 3 chances to discreetly test for attraction where going for a kiss only 1. So much is communicated when you grab her hand. That is why time wasters really hate the mutual hand caress move. Once it's on, escalation (verbal & physical) isn't scary because you already know she likes you. You are just trying to arouse her which is mostly mood based anyway. I won't consider a girl a time waster if she won't kiss me. Maybe her friends are watching or she doesn't like to kiss guys in public. That is what the mutual hand caressing test is for. It is more revealing. Really the IOM is just setting you up for your sexual kino (arousal) by getting on the same team and building a connection. If you don't agree that it's important then just skip the IOM and go straight into arousal. And then let me know what happens. Escalation is not scary because it's only ONE move. Trying to arouse a woman can take several moves - but it's not scary because you already know she likes you because the attraction is official and mutual. The decision to have sex is usually mood based (is she aroused) so there is no need to take the resistance personally. Of course every escalation along the way will be scary if you're not sure if the attraction is mutual. But once you know -nothing is scary. So no more of this I'm scared to escalate talk. Let's be specific. You are scared to grab a girls hand because you think that attraction isn't mutual. So when your buddy asks you what happened with that girl, say - I was scared to grab her hand because I didn't think attraction was mutual. To get any girl it takes one bold move. There is also no need for stealth arousal tactics. Sorry, but if the seduction is mutual and you are working together she wants to be aroused. In fact, she will be doing half the work. You will be arousing each other. Feb 3, 2010 Your Opener Doesn't Suck...They Suck

Its kind of silly to think that it was your opener that was the deciding factor whether she decided to talk to you or not. If she likes you it really doesn't matter what you say. And if she doesn't like you it doesn't matter how great your opener was. If she has a boyfriend she still has a boyfriend. If she only came out to get attention from guys she is still not going to have sex with you. If she is frumpy, despite your interesting opener, she will still be lame. This is why you can open by saying anything or by saying nothing (see non-verbal opening). Even if you just say "hi" or "cheers", if she is interested in meeting someone tonight, she will at the very least give you a shot. Worrying about having a good opener or waiting until you think of something "clever" to say is a fools game. The goal of opening should always be to weed out the uninterested time wasters right off the bat so you have more time to find the good leads. Good leads are cute girls that laugh, smile and at least give you a chance to seduce them. It's not your opener that sucks...they suck. Feb 7, 2010 Women Are Amazing Women are very special. And although each woman is unique, the truth is the amazing-ness of women is not unique. There are lots of special women out there. Thus, there is really no need to get hung up on one woman if she doesn't like you back. Your girlfriend is truly amazing. But she isn't rare - there are many women just like her. And that is a good thing for the world. You will be very hurt if she ever leaves, but in the end you will be fine. The way one woman can make us feel, I can understand why we would think she is one in a million. But there are many other women who can make you feel just as amazing as she does. That's because feminine energy is a spirit and not a particular person. This truth does not diminish the awesomeness of women in the slightest.

Women are amazing. Feb 9, 2010 The Attraction, Escalation, Sexual Tension Link The relationship between escalation, tension and attraction and why there is no attraction phase. Only an attraction:escalation phase with both things happening simultaneously. 1. Escalation is an attractive quality, if not the most attractive quality out of all the things that supposedly create attraction. Especially when done without worrying if you are sure she likes you or not. This leap of faith shows major confidence and will get you extra points with women. Any guy can escalate once they are 100% sure the woman is interested. Big deal. 2. Escalation of the Vibe (holding face, cutting space, state transfer and being quiet/serious) creates a feeling of tension and uncertainty. Tension between a man and a woman is by definition sexual tension. So the main goal of escalating the vibe is to create sexual tension. 3. The feeling of tension is VERY similar to the physical symptoms you feel when you are attracted to somebody. Heart beating fast, fidgeting, breathing heavy, thoughts racing and feeling slightly nervous. This same physical symptoms will still happen whether you are attracted to the person creating the tension or not. 4. If she doesn't like you that feeling of tension you created by escalating the vibe will be interpreted by her as awkward or creepy. Too bad, you have to risk creepy. As such she will respond accordingly (ie. give you the how dare you/ you're creepy look). If she has any interest in you that feeling of tension will make her even more attracted and you will be considered extremely hot/sexy. 5. By escalating the VIBE but not revealing your interest verbally (just listening)or physically (not much touching) there is still an unresolved tension that exists between you (sexual tension). She will have a longing for a release to that uncertainty. She wants to make sure that you are feeling this connection too and it's not just her. You relieve her tension by making just one overt physical move (grabbing and then caressing her hand). Since you haven't touched her a lot (or at all) the first time you touch her hand creates a spark which leads to mutual caressing.

As an added bonus many of the moves you use to create tension (seductive listening, poker & screening face, pauses) make her feel like she is qualifying to you. You are not using this as a tactic per se (your goal is to create tension) but you still get the added benefit of creating more attraction via qualification. Just looked at a lot of definitions and advice from so called experts on creating sexual tension. Most of them revolve around trying to create tension verbally with words (humor, teasing, sexual comments) or physically (incidental touching). In my opinion, escalating the VIBE (move close, state transfer, hold face) is way more powerful because talking and touching her a lot (at least in the beginning) relieves tension. I just think the idea of thinking you NEED to do things to create sexual tension is, well...needy. That is why I prefer the moves that let you tap into the natural tension between a man and a woman that is already there (being silent vs. using words). Many of the other little things that create sexual tension are via state transfer (credit: GWM) from your state (aroused) to hers. It's more than just visualizations (ie. picturing her naked, or imagining having sex with her). That stuff is amateur hour. Real state transfer encompasses being silent and taking in the complete woman in front of you. For example getting turned on by her smell, voice, energy etc. Cliff Notes Escalating the vibe is attractive and creates sexual tension. Tension mimics the physical symptoms of being attracted to someone. Some of the things you do to escalate the vibe (poker face, listening) have the added benefit of creating a qualifying frame which is attractive. The feeling of unresolved tension for a guy you are attracted to you can be uncomfortable for her. Thus using only one physical move (hand grab > caressing) is all you need to put her at ease and let her know that you feel the connection to. This makes it officially on which sets you up for arousal. Feb 11, 2010 Automatic Connection

I think the mindset that you need to do special things to create sexual tension is, well...very needy. The truth is on some level sexual tension between a man and a woman exists naturally. an automatic connection if you will. I'm sure you've noticed it's usually lurking just beneath the surface of even your most polite conversations with women. In most cases there is really nothing special you need to say verbally or do physically. Most times attracting a woman can be as simple as just tapping into the tension that is already there.

One way you can tap into this natural tension is by being comfortable with silence. Be still. Sexual tension always seems to reveal itself during the short pauses. Or in an extended gaze. A sexual connection forms naturally when you are simply enjoying the woman in front of you (ie. listening) instead of focusing on talking and entertaining. Don't over-complicate the concept of sexual tension by viewing it as something that you need to create. Instead think of sexual tension as something that is always there, just waiting to be discovered. And if you can keep quiet for a few seconds you may just find it.

Feb 17, 2010 Revealing Your Interest is Sexual It's one thing to have the courage to admit you like a girl by making an overt physical move such as going for a kiss. But even after attraction is official - why are guys so scared to reveal that their interest in her is sexual? First, I think some guys are happy just enjoying female company and forget about their sexual desires. Others are scared of being rejected for making a sexual offer - which is surprising because the decision to have sex is mostly mood based - you already know she likes you. A lot of guys have purity or M/w issues. Because they are already thinking of her as a

new girlfriend they secretly hope she isn't a slut. Another misconception guys have is they think they only get one shot to get her home. When in reality you should be the most persistent in this phase because it has the biggest upside. Why will some guys ask a woman for her phone number three times but only try to get her home once. The main reason though is guys think if they say or do something sexual they are going to blow their chances. As if women are going to get pissed off and leave if you admit that you like sex and find them sexy. Beware of a woman who makes you feel bad for revealing that your interest in her is sexual. She is most likely playing you. Holding Face Holding face is basically just giving a woman an opportunity check you out. This shows her you are comfortable and confident with your face - which really means you are comfortable with your looks. I prefer holding face versus using seductive eye contact. The concept of using seductive eye contact is fine but it can sometimes be weird or uncomfortable for both parties to keep up. Instead of holding intense eye contact, stare at her but don't focus on anywhere specifically on her face. This way she can comfortably check you out. With direct eye contact women get nervous and are more likely to look away or even avoid your gaze which is obviously not what we want.That is one reason why I changed from holding eye contact to holding face. It's been just as effective. For example let's say a woman tests you. You can just stare at her hold face and say nothing. This turns a test into a moment of sexual tension. When you use things like seductive eye contact you are "trying" to be seductive. However, when you hold face you are simply giving her a chance to check you out. She is doing the work. You are being seductive without "trying" to be seductive. And although holding face helps you create sexual tension because of the deadpan facial expression she feels like she is the one qualifying to you.

In order to break the tension from holding face I've had many girls just blurt out "you're cute". Now if this happened once once or twice I could chalk it up as a coincidence. But this happens a lot. When a girl says you're cute, she really means are comfortable enough with your looks to hold her gaze. Confidence is sexy. Holding face is so effective because it's a mix of I'm checking you out and I'm screening you. Feb 17, 2010 Revealing Your Interest is Sexual It's one thing to have the courage to admit you like a girl by making an overt physical move such as going for a kiss. But even after attraction is official - why are guys so scared to reveal that their interest in her is sexual? First, I think some guys are happy just enjoying female company and forget about their sexual desires. Others are scared of being rejected for making a sexual offer - which is surprising because the decision to have sex is mostly mood based - you already know she likes you. A lot of guys have purity or M/w issues. Because they are already thinking of her as a new girlfriend they secretly hope she isn't a slut. Another misconception guys have is they think they only get one shot to get her home. When in reality you should be the most persistent in this phase because it has the biggest upside. Why will some guys ask a woman for her phone number three times but only try to get her home once. The main reason though is guys think if they say or do something sexual they are going to blow their chances. As if women are going to get pissed off and leave if you admit that you like sex and find them sexy. Beware of a woman who makes you feel bad for revealing that your interest in her is sexual. She is most likely playing you.

Feb 23, 2010 First Word Anxiety It's not a fear of approaching woman. It's really just a fear of getting that first word out of your mouth. It's not your legs that are betraying you by refusing to walk over to her - it's usually your mouth. In other words it's not approach anxiety, it's first word anxiety. Once you get the first word out it's too late to turn back. And that is a good thing. That's why the first word is always the hardest. Hi. If you can't even say that one little word you should start out with a non-verbal opener. Cheers! Sometimes you will have first word apathy. You just don't feel like talking to people although you know it usually leads to something good. Like when a friend forces you to go on a trip you don;t want to take but youlater thank him because it was just what you needed. Feb 27, 2010 Vulnerable Not Needy It seems few men truly enjoy their relationships with women. Despite working on their relationship skills for years it's like they are constantly on guard waiting for something to go wrong. Look, it's one thing to be good at having relationships and quite another to actually enjoy them. I'll be honest, I don't meet many guys I consider good at having long term relationships.That's because it's rare for a guy to possess both of the main qualities it takes to achieve this goal. The secret for having great relationships is quite simple. Be vulnerable but don't be needy. It may seem like a contradiction but the men truly enjoying their relationships are vulnerable but not needy.

By vulnerable I mean their hearts are open, they love feminine energy and they are very affectionate people. They are comfortable both giving and receiving affection. They aren't afraid of being hurt. But don't be fooled. Despite their affectionate nature these are not needy people. These men know they have the skills to meet new quality women if they ever became single again. This lets them be emotionally open and give fully without constantly worrying about her losing interest. Which really is the point of having a relationship in the first place. So why is having these two qualities so rare. Most guys that crave female affection are needy. They need someone (anyone) to love them so they can feel complete. Not surprisingly, at some point in the relationship women sense this need and becomes a huge turn off. On the other hand, many guys in the dating community try to act "emotionally aloof" in the hopes of being seen as a challenge, These guys are really just scared of being vulnerable. You aren't fooling anyone. This "I don't care" attitude is an obvious overcompensation. You are desperately trying to learn every relationship trick in the book with the hopes that a woman will never be able to hurt you again. This paranoid mindset makes guys just as pathetic as a needy person. You can't truly enjoy your relationships with women without being a bit vulnerable. And you won't become comfortable being vulnerable until you eliminate your neediness. Feb 28, 2010 Face Game Besides actually walking up to women and opening them you can bait them to open you. You can catch a woman's gaze and then use different facial expressions to kick off the interaction. For example, if you catch a woman's gaze, give her the "you want to fight" look. Once she responds with her own "bad ass" facial expression - counter that with a shy guy face. There are a lot of things you can do once you catch a woman's eye. Some of the more

obvious ones are to smile or to motion her to come over to you. But don't limit yourself to those. There are many different facial expressions you can make. Women who avoid your gaze have low initial interest in you. Believe me they know you are looking. You can still open them but you know the odds are a bit lower. Mar 1, 2010 Arousal Should Be Mutual The fact that it's now mutual helps you get sexual faster. Plus you should confirm that the attraction is mutual before you use the more risky sexual moves. That is just good calibration. Escalating the vibe creates sexual tension. Once the tension is there you have to manage both your response to it (trying to break it) and hers (acting weird).

The "Other" Limiting Belief We are all familiar with the limiting belief about how supposedly it takes a certain amount of time before a woman will have sex with you. But there is another limiting belief that may be hurting you. That is the amount of time you think you need to wait before making an overt physical move. The truth is you can make your “it’s on” move (ie. the mutual hand caressing test or kissing) as early as the first minute. And if she is initially attracted to you it will work. I already know that you believe you can attract a woman in a few seconds. So why do you think it should take longer than that to make that attraction official? In fact, most times waiting too long kills your chances. Sometimes you are never as mysterious and sexy as you will be in those first few minutes after you meet her. Guys are usually at their best during the first few minutes of vibing when the sexual tension is strong. I know this because I have screwed this up many times myself. There have been plenty of times when I had a strong sexual connection with a woman right away. She would look at me seductively and smile, we got really close and I could just feel that it was definitely ON. But because all this was happening in the FIRST minute or two I thought I still had to wait a little bit before making that mutual physical move. (ie grabbing her hand). As if making an overt move so quickly would blow my chances forever or she would reject me because it’s too soon to do stuff like that. The truth is there is NO set defined amount of time you need to wait before you can make it officially “on”. If attraction happens in the blink of an eye (seconds) then WHEN you decide to make that attraction official and mutual should be as soon as possible. You Don’t Have All the Time in the World Here is what usually happens: When things are going really good an the beginning you ASSUME you have “all the time in the world” to make that overt-mutual physical move. You figure you will get around to doing it (escalating) eventually. No hurry, no worries. She’s really into me.

But what ALWAYS ends up happening when two minutes turns into five minutes…and then into ten? That initial sexual vibe starts to weaken. She moves slightly away from you. Now she isn’t smiling as much. She has already asked you the prerequisite getting to know you questions. Then her friend comes over and interrupts the vibe. Hmm. Now you start doubting yourself so you put off making the OVERT move again as you WAIT until you can get things back like they were in the beginning. You went from thinking it was TOO EARLY to make an overt-physical move to now being AFRAID to make an overt physical move. The Bottom Line The bottom line is you want to make the attraction “official” as soon as possible. And escalation to me, in this case making ONE overt physical move, is really about revealing the attraction that is already there, WHEN it’s there. That’s the thing. Just because she was attracted in the first minute doesn’t mean she is going to be attracted to you forever. The feeling of attraction and sexual tension fluctuates just like buying temperature. Your connection with her is not solid yet because in reality she just met you. So the best time to make your overt move and make the attraction mutual is during that automatic spike in attraction that usually happens naturally during the first minute. Obviously you want to take advantage of the attraction when it’s there. It just so happens that when you first meet a woman and you are the new mysterious guy you automatically get your best chance to make the attraction official. The Key Point: Once you make the overt move and your connection becomes mutual your interaction with her can now survive the natural interest level fluctuations (the ups and downs) that are bound to happen throughout first ten to fifteen minutes of hanging out. Avoid the BIG LETDOWN As soon as you sense the feeling of attraction you want to make it official. That is the real point of escalation. Don’t put it off. It doesn’t matter if it’s only 30 seconds in. Take advantage of the fact that things are usually at their best in the first minute or two.

If you don’t make the attraction official it will feel like a big letdown for her later when her initial interest dips and nothing mutually physical has happened yet. I’m sure you have noticed that it always gets a bit awkward when you start out FAST by escalating the vibe sexually but then you waste time dicking around with incidental touching and never make that mutual- physical move. Once the initial tension/attraction starts to fizzle without something mutual happening, the vibe usually gets a bit weird. Most interactions never recover from this fast start and weak finish. That awkward tension and weird vibe comes from a feeling that something was supposed to happen…but it didn’t. You are now pretending to interact with each other in the “friendship frame” after starting out with a “strong sexual vibe”. You both know you are being fake so it doesn’t work. It’s no surprise that once she feels the awkwardness from this situation you are only seconds away from…well nice meeting you. Vibe starts out strong > You think it’s too early to make overt physical move > Vibe weakens a bit > Now You are Afraid to make an overt physical move > Interaction Stalls > It gets awkward > Nice Meeting You This also ties into the misconception that talking to a woman for a long time means you are doing good. I see it as just the opposite. In my opinion, if I see a guy talking to a woman for more than a few minutes without making an overt physical move… it usually means he is doing bad. Mar 3, 2010 Sexual Tension Is Longing

Definition: Sexual tension is an interaction between two people in which the individuals sexually long for one another but the consummation is postponed or never occurs. This longing is often suggested by incidents of intimacy; for instance when two people are physically close and holding eye contact, but the desire is never explicitly expressed. Sexual tension is about desiring a resolution. At first sexual tension creates a longing for some kind of overt physical contact. For example, mutual caressing reassures a

woman that it’s not just her that is feeling this connection. She wants to know that you feel it to. In the beginning you want to make the sexual tension as strong as possible through deadpan face contact, proximity and not saying much. You also don’t want to reduce any of the tension you are building by reacting to her tests or letting her bait you to break rapport. The stronger you make the initial tension the more she will long for that first overt physical contact. You don’t want to make an overt move too quickly before there is adequate longing, but you also don’t want to wait too long either. Before attraction is mutual tension can be more awkward than arousing for her. As such you will get tested and she might even act like she is not enjoying it. The longer the tension goes on without resolution, the stranger she may start to act. If you don't make a move she will reject you first to protect her ego and pretend there never was a connection. She may even backwards rationalize it and say you were creepy. Having her wonder of we like her is not the kind of tension we are going for. That is the old way of thinking where you have to be aloof and pretend to be disinterested. We can build enough tension with escalation and vibe that we don’t need to worry about stuff like teasing her. The great part of about building anticipation is that the first mutual touch will make it officially on. This is why you don’t need to worry about using lots of touching. You can do little to no touching and then just go for one big overt move like grabbing her hand. Mar 3, 2010 Women are Tension AFC's

Every woman you meet will respond differently to sexual tension. Some can handle it easily and others start acting, well...a little strange. Whether she says"what" when you look at her, won't stop talking or constantly tries to bait you to break rapport, the truth is some women are simply tension AFC's. This can be cute but it can also be a huge turn-off after a while. One way to avoid this is to give her a slight break in the tension by making your overt physical move. This move lets her know you are definitely interested. Keep in mind, a lot of her unresolved tension comes from her worrying "does he or doesn't he like me?". Or as my friend Alex astutely pointed out "at first sexual tension can feel more

weird than arousal for her". Basically she is wondering if you are feeling what she's feeling. You can help relieve some of that uncertainty. For the chatterbox who deals with tension by talking the whole time you can quiet her with one quick kiss. You can't kiss and talk at the same time. For shy girls who seem nervous and fidgety, but stay relatively quiet, simply take her hand and start caressing it. She just needs a little bit of comfort and reassurance. The point of this moment is to solidify the connection you have been building with vibe, physically - thus reducing some of that uncertainty. It also creates comfort and a "we are in this together frame". After this mutual moment there will still be tension but you won't get as much nervous chatter, her saying "what" when you look at her, and constant testing. She will start to calm down a little bit and enjoy the seduction. Again, by no means does this mean the tension over. It's only just begun. Although there is a now a different type of tension brewing. The bottom line is if you wait too long to make your overt physical mutual escalation you are going to get women acting a little crazy in response to your sexual vibe. Inexperienced seducers usually mistake this strange behavior as a sign of low interest. All the more reason to make your "it's on" move quickly. Good Enough For Attention How women can tell that you are a good candidate for attention. 1. You don't escalate the vibe 2. You don't make an overt physical move We recently discussed how a woman knows right away if you are threat based on if your vibe is sexual. If you have a sexual vibe and she likes you she will stay with you hoping you make an overt physical move. If she doesn't like you and is just looking for attention she will leave because she knows a guy with a sexual vibe can't be duped into spending hours entertaining her without making a move. This saves you both a lot of time. This same scenario plays out albeit on a longer scale with the friend zone. If you are not a threat women will have no problem keeping you around as "the friend". They know right away your vibe is not sexual so they feel totally safe getting validation/time/attention from you.

I'm not saying you can't have women as friends. I have many. I'm only talking about guys who secretly want to have sex or are in love with their female friends and are just pretending to be her girl-friend. However sometimes you do start out with a sexual vibe. Maybe with a woman you just met or even from your social circle or office. She knows you are a sexual threat and still hangs around you hoping something will happen. The next mistake you make is not making an overt physical move. Well you do want to make an overt physical move but the only one you know of is kissing. And there never seems to be a good time for that. There are always people around, you can't isolate, you can't get close enough or something ends up ruining the mood. Even if you do have a sexual vibe and act all cocky around her if nothing happens she eventually realizes that that the reason "nothing has happened yet" is because you are scared to make an overt physical move. You "think" you are being a challenge but she "knows" you are really just scared. Aw, how cute! Don't worry she will humor you and let you believe you are just "playing it cool". Obviously this destroys all of her attraction for you. Once she realizes you are scared to make an overt physical move and as a result is no longer attracted to you, she now knows she can get lots of attention form you with zero risk. She knows you will never make that overt physical move and so do you. Even if she does let you touch her, she won't ever let you make the seduction mutual. When you are the one doing all the touching the frame is that she is the prize and you are the one trying to attract/arouse her. This becomes a huge waste of time. Mar 4, 2010 Creepy Or Connection? You're risking creepy to try and create a non-verbal connection. It's either creepy or connection. Take the risk. No one is saying you have to risk creepy verbally. In fact, I do much more listening than talking. And we are not saying be creepy physically - for example groping her. In fact, we only need to make one overt physical move.

The only time there is a slight risk of being considered creepy is with your vibe. It is worth the risk. You may not be able to create attraction in every set but you can create tension in every set. That's because tension creates the same physical symptoms as being attracted to someone. For example, her heart is beating fast, slightly nervous, fidgety, blushing. You can't always create attraction - but you can usually create some tension Women Will Let You Touch Them You want to create attraction with your vibe and then make it official with your touch. You have it backwards. You are trying to create sexual tension and attraction using words and touch. Touching her a lot doesn't create sexual tension. Instead it reduces all of the tension you created with your vibe. Remember since you have said nothing verbally and done nothing physically to reveal your intentions - your vibe creates sexual tension. The problem with making overt physical moves that don't lead to anything mutual (ie. leaving your hand on her back or caressing parts of her body besides her hands) is that she may know they are happening- but she can just pretend they didn't and ignore it. Remember, the goal is to make the attraction official and mutual. It's obviously not official if she is ignoring it. However, she can't pretend mutual hand caressing isn't happening if she is participating in it. If a woman is not participating in the seduction it's because she doesn't want to. Making the attraction mutual is a skill and is the real goal of escalation. Guys who can make the attraction official and mutual in a tactful way (ie. not lunging at her for a sloppy makeout) are seen by her as very attractive. She will assume you are highly skilled with women. If you try to skip the "mutual touching" and go straight into "arousal touching" it will work if she is actually attracted to you, but if not she will stop you. The worst part is you will be deluded into thinking her resistance is just asd when in reality she is just

wasting your time. If during the attraction phase she isn't participating in the touching you can just imagine how hard it will be for you in the arousal phase when the seduction still isn't mutual. You will be the one touching her - trying to turn her on - and she will play the resister constantly telling you to stop with her hands. This is a bad frame to say the least. Mar 5, 2010 Bad News for Time Wasters

Time wasters used to have a lot more time to get attention from you. The only way to find out if a woman was wasting your time was going for the kiss. The good news for women who love attention was that it's pretty hard to go for a kiss in front of her friends. There also needs to be other elements in place like having your faces close and a moment of silence. Since there is rarely a good time for the kiss guys just assume that because she is flirting she is interested. With hand caressing you can check her interest level right away - even in front of other people. You don't need to worry about isolation. Even when you are on a date you don't need to wait until the end of the night to see if she is interested. Forget the awkward kiss attempt at her doorstep and simply grab her hand at the table before you order. Think that might save you some time and money? It's not that time wasters are bad people. In fact, they actually do like you. That is why they are trying to keep you around as long as possible before revealing that they can't hookup with you. They think you are really cool but they have a boyfriend or some other issue. You should thank the girls that reject you right away because they don't want to waste your time. Nice girls who like you as a person, but aren't going to hookup with you, are so afraid of hurting your feelings that they end up taking up a good part of your night. Another huge benefit of escalating quickly is you save time. Let's face it, rejection hurts. But it's twice as bad when you get rejected and also realize you wasted a lot of time. The time thing hurts you as well.

You also cringe when you think about all of the things you told her about yourself. How you tried to be all cool. It all means nothing now. You wasted your time and you revealed things about yourself you wish you didn't. Nice meeting you! Apr 2, 2010 Love or Attention My friend Aaron Sleazy tuned me in to the fact that you can make it much easier to start conversations by being more observant. One way he advocates being more observant is to see if a girl is paying more attention to her "environment" than her "friends". For example instead of talking to her friends she is looking around the room, talking loud (so you will overhear) or dancing seductively to the music. Contrast that with two girls deep in conversation and focused solely on each other. This doesn't mean she wants YOU specifically to talk to her - but she definitely wants somebody to. She is most likely looking to hookup tonight, so somebody should take advantage of the opportunity. This makes sense because this is how a lot of guys look when they go out to a bar. They aren't talking to their guy friends - they are scanning their environment for hot women instead. The sub-communication is...I am looking to meet someone. I am open to talk. So if you see a girl or group of girls acting like guys - you will now know what to do. However one thing I noticed is if a woman is paying too much attention to her environment - for example dancing very erotic and being extremely loud and dramatic she is most likely just looking for attention. Upon further inspection most of these wild women seem to have boyfriends or other issues that block the seduction. Once they draw a guy in with their antics they love to reject them. For example a girl will dance very proactively and then a guy will come up to her and she will give him the "ew creepy" face while her girlfriends laugh. You will notice that the girls who are truly looking to meeting someone are open but usually a bit more subtle about it. Apr 3, 2010

What is an Average Frustrated Chump In my opinion you can say or do basically anything - even if it's boring, as long as you escalate. And you could be the most interesting guy in the world with awesome magic tricks and witty teases - but if you don't escalate you won't get the girl. To me being an average chump means only one thing - not escalating when a girl likes you. Especially when she stays talking to you. Being an average frustrated chump has nothing to do with listening, having rapport, or asking basic questions. However guys say that if you want to be a pick up artist and not an average guy you need to break rapport, talk a lot and be really interesting. This advice can mess you up. Instead people should be honest and say - look, your problem is not that you are average, the problem is you are a pussy. You don't escalate. You want to be a nice guy - no problem. You want to be a good listener - go for it. The only thing is you need to do is escalate. If you can't do that it doesn't really matter what you do. Apr 6, 2010 The Foundations For Failure Most of the tactics the community teaches are things you would only do if you assumed a woman was not attracted to you. In fact, needing to say or do anything special by definition means you believe you need to do extra things to make women attracted to you. For example, no matter how cool your stories are, you are still qualifying yourself. Plus, if you really were confident that she liked you - wouldn't you want to make that attraction official and mutual as soon as possible. Many guys claim they always assume attraction yet they waste their time acting disinterested and only use incidental touching. Huh? Foundations for Failure Basically the whole verbal repertoire of the community was built on a foundation of our insecurities. It was created for guys who were unsuccessful with women and uncomfortable with sexual tension. Every tease and witty joke was a way to diffuse a tense sexual moment. Every story and routine a way to guarantee there would never be an uncomfortable silence.

Just the topic of sex is unsettling for most people. You can imagine how uncomfortable sexual tension made us feel. It can be very awkward. In contrast, women have more experience with sexual tension having been hit on many times throughout their lives. Thus, women are rarely going to feel attraction for a man who can handle less sexual tension than she can. A New Day As we move into the future of seduction many more guys are realizing there is already an attractive man inside them. The truth is each of us already has the power to tap into sexual tension. That's because sexual tension is an energy not a physical attribute. You don't have to be tall, muscular, or have chiseled facial features. You have just as much right to bask in the pleasure of sexual tension as anyone else. When you assume attraction, you assume that women would enjoy basking in that moment of sexual tension with you.

You Don't Want to Know They say women get turned on slowly like heating up an oven. While that may be true for arousal I don't agree when it comes to attraction. Arousal may happen slowly, but attraction happens fast. If a woman isn't attracted to you - she probably isn't going to give you the time it takes to arouse her. You need attraction first. That is the problem with kino. Touching doesn't create attraction, it reveals it. However touching can create arousal in women who are open to the idea of you arousing them. Attraction happens fast. Women make their decision almost instantly. And you don't really want to know the answer to the question - is she attracted to me. You know her decision has been made and you fear the verdict. So of course you... dick around with "interesting" conversation, incidental touching, asking for her number, setting up future meets that are never going to happen, giving compliments,

using aggressive but non-mutual moves (slapping her ass) or non-serious escalation (the double kiss). But you won't grab her hand and go for mutual caressing. You can't go for overt and mutual - because you are scared of the truth. You don't want to know. And she knows you don't want to know - which is the foundation for the orbiter relationship. She knows you would rather not know the truth. So you delude yourself that you are working on "attracting her". Anything to not have to realize the harsh truth - that this is not mutual. And mutual is the foundation for seduction.

None of these things make attraction mutual and official exchanging numbers giving her your business card agreements to meet up, dates talking to her for a long time indicators of interest incidental Kino, accepting your touch aggressive non-mutual escalation overt touching not returned one-sided makeouts grinding Make Attraction Official You can't leave it up to the girl to make attraction mutual - that is your job. The feeling of attraction has been created way more times than it has ever become official. Creating attraction is easy while making it overt and mutual is harder. Things are different and will always be different after you make attraction mutual (IOM). Just like how things are different after you have had sex with a girl. In reality, a penis just went inside a vagina. But now for the rest of her life YOU are someone she had sex with. She will always view and treat you differently.

That is the whole point of making attraction official and mutual. Sure there are many girls you could have hooked up with or who really liked you - but it never became official. It doesn't count. It's like it never happened. Apr 19, 2010 Make Yourself Jealous

It's funny how we are biologically wired to want purity. This way we ensure that the baby we are raising is ours. However at the same time a girlfriend who is potentially cheating really turns us on. In other words, jealousy makes us really horny. The reason we get so horny and want to have sex with her immediately is because our body is now preparing for a war against the rivals sperm. I know many instances of guys finding out their girlfriend cheated - being so pissed off and hating her guts - but then still having the best sex of his life with her. Of course it can be hard to deal with those emotions - you want her purity - but it turns you on so much that she is slutty. The irony is quite comical (tragic?). When you hit on some guys girlfriend and he gets all pissed off - you are actually doing them a huge favor. Believe me he will go home and give her a good pounding. You can even use this truth for your own benefit. For example, instead of hiding your girl away like all the insecure losers, take her out and show her off. Let her get some male attention. In the end it all means better sex for both of you.

Apr 27, 2010 Don't Pull Away First

“can I have my hand back now” Whenever you shake hands with a woman make it a rule to never be the first one to let go. Always let her pull her hand away first. In other words, hold on for at least as long as she does. You already do this right? Think again. You will be surprised to learn that it’s actually YOU who is pulling your hand away before she does. Maybe you just want to be polite or after a few seconds you start to get nervous. But being polite doesn’t create attraction. You want her to be a little nervous. Tension. It’s On. Holding on to her hand a little longer than she expects creates tension and gets her heart beating. Which is a really good thing if she likes you. And may get a bad reaction if she doesn’t. Like most things in seduction it’s the person who can better deal with the sexual tension that wins. For example who is going to be the one to talk first, break eye contact first or pull their hand away first. Sometimes she won’t pull her hand away and you will stay holding hands right off the bat. Most women have already decided if they like you based on your looks and presence. This bold move just confirms it right away. May 1, 2010 Deadpan Everything Deadpan Sexy There is another misconception about escalating the vibe. That somehow you have to try look all sexy which usually comes off as trying too hard. Instead what you want to be deadpan sexy.

You can look sexy and still look like you are screening her at the same time. This is the 50% I am checking you out, 50% I am screening you look. Hard to explain with words but this is mostly done with your eyes (squinting) and lips. You balance the escalation (looking at her) with a challenge (screening her). When most guys check out a girl they always give her that look like "aw yeah girl I will fuck the shit out of you" as they stare at her tits and ass. That is NOT what deadpan sexy is. It's a mix of sexy and screening. Deadpan Rapport In this method we don't worry about creating rapport. In fact, our main focus is on not letting women bait us into breaking rapport. And believe me, if you come across as a sexual threat women will bait you at least a few times. Especially before you make attraction overt and mutual. Not letting her bait you to break rapport builds sexual comfort which is the most important ingredient for getting sexual quickly. This style is neutral rapport. Meaning we don't kiss her ass verbally (that's so funny) or with supplicating facial expressions like the I'm so happy to be here smile. We keep the vibe deadpan and we don't try to force the connection or fish for commonalities. I think women respect that. Of course there is basic rapport. You listen well and you don't interrupt her. But you are not kissing her ass. You can also build rapport physically with mutual hand caressing or verbally with the "we are on the same team" frame. Deadpan Everything When in doubt, go deadpan. If you get a test and you don't know how to respond the answer is always deadpan. And if you don't know what to do you go deadpan. If she says "you are touching my leg" - deadpan.

deadpan posture: sleepy yawn stretch (ijjji)

deadpan openers: low energy non-verbal deadpan listening: poker face style deadpan escalations: bored deadpan compliments: not even a hint of trying to diffuse topic of sex with humor (tva) It's Not You, It's the Sex

Some of the most effective methods for picking up women quickly all seem to have one important thing in common. Whether it be putting out a seductive vibe, escalating quickly, using sex talk or being physically aggressive - there is always one key ingredient present that makes it all work. And that is for the most part these methods are selling sex first and you second When you use seductive eye contact and get close quickly you are basically selling pleasure. When you talk freely and openly about your sexual desires you are offering pleasure. When you grab her hand, spin her around and pull her very close to you all in the first ten seconds you are giving her an opportunity to get pleasure. In contrast, when your main focus is on trying to be interesting and funny , saying the right words and bringing the value you are trying to sell you. Now, I know you are a cool guy - but you are definitely not more interesting than pleasure. In other situations you will have lots of time to sell her on you, but to pull a girl you just met quickly I would you argue that the most effective way is to sell her on the idea pleasure. It's also harder not take resistance personally when you use verbal methods that focus around trying to sell you. Here you are trying to convey the best of your personality and revealing intimate details about yourself to her and she is basically saying - not interested. Ouch. You can forget about being persistent. Are you going out at night trying to convince women of the idea of You (and possibly sex) or is your game centered around selling her the idea of Sex (possibly with you). If you are spending 90% of your effort on promoting you and only 10% on offering pleasure you might want to reverse that. The truth is You are not that important. Sex is a very pleasurable experience on it's own. You are replaceable. Not convinced - just take a look at the transfer of buying

temperature. You get a girl all worked up and in the mood for sex and then some other guy swoops in and reaps the benefits. Think about it. How much of what happens is because of what you said or did and how much is just that sex feels good and women like it. Is it you or the experience itself? Let's be fair and say it's a mix of both. I know, I know. We would all love to think it was only due to our good looks and awesome game. It can be hard to put your ego aside and admit that your best quality is that you can offer her pleasure. If you are talking to a group of girls, even if you are trying to be polite, why do you still automatically ignore the unattractive one. Because she can't offer you pleasure. It's not fair but that's life. Women are the same way - if you are not offering pleasure you will be ignored. One thing to keep in mind is that sex is probably the most pleasurable experience we can have. We all love to feel pleasure and obviously women are no different. It can take a guy a long time before he finally internalizes the mindset "women love sex" but it seems to click instantly when you simply tell him women love pleasure. I mean it's not like you are out at the bars trying to convince women to watch a four hour football game with you. Just imagine if to get a girl home you had to convince her to run a marathon with you first. Now that would be really hard. When you consider it, selling the idea of pleasure is easy. Especially when in all likelihood she will get more pleasure out of the deal than you will. Keep in mind we are selling a product that women want to buy. That's why it's such a joke when you see a guy buying the excuses women give for still not getting physical after several dates. Again, it's not like we are asking her to loan us $10,000 dollars - we are talking about pleasure here. Would a drug user turn down a line of coke. Well sex is a drug (it releases powerful pleasure chemicals into the body) and best of all it's free. In other words, if there is some "mutual" interest - engaging in an activity as pleasurable as sex is really doesn't take that much convincing. Most times sex sells itself. I talk about how the decision to have sex is mostly mood based. Meaning after a seduction becomes overt and mutual it's really not about you anymore. The question becomes can you get her in the mood for sex (arouse her). I mean you've already shown her how cool you are - she likes you. You don't need to create more attraction (aka selling yourself). It's time to sell the pleasure.

Guys know the best product in their arsenal is pleasure. They spend less time selling themselves and more time selling the sex. Of course the fact that you are confident and comfortable with your sexuality says really good things about you. It's attractive no doubt. But don't lose sight of the fact that it's because you are offering her a good opportunity for pleasure that makes you so appealing. A seductive vibe keeps the focus on where it should be - on the sex (pleasure) not you. You are cool, but sorry pleasure is better than you. Sex talk is selling the pleasure not you. You will never again take resistance or rejection personally - you ares selling her pleasure, not you. The game is not about you. It's about her. Girls hookup with guys they don't like that much all the time. Why? pleasure. What can you sell if you are physically not her type. Pleasure. She doesn't like you for a boyfriend. Pleasure. Hey I get it - you aren't crazy about me. But it doesn't matter, I know you will still take the pleasure. In most methods you have to do two things. First you need to convince her to like YOU and then you still need to convince her to have SEX with you. The shortcut is to show her you can provide HER pleasure - who cares about YOU. I know you do... but a different way to think about this is instead of trying to sell yourself (qualify yourself) go out and offer pleasure. You know you have a really good product (pleasure). You don't need to qualify yourself or convince women. But you are still out there offering it - lovingly, humbly. When you view game through a lens of YOU being good enough for her of course you are going to talk everything personally and not be persistent. Women become vehicles to confirm YOUR self worth. But if you view yourself first as a provider of pleasure despite her feelings about you - she will want the good feelings of you can provide them. Focus on Her, Not You I was doing this for all the wrong reasons. I was looking for validation through female affection. Most guys are selfish when they interact with women. Not selfish for sex they are focused more on getting validation (constantly assessing her reactions to see if she likes you) versus focusing on her pleasure. It's not about you, it's about her. The frame of "I am going to provide this girl pleasure and she is going to love it" will get you through the rough times (resistance, testing and flakiness). Her pleasure is the whole point - you already know you are cool, you don't need another woman to validate that.

One of the most fascinating things I learned was a woman doesn't have to like you to sleep with you. I never fully understood why that was until recently - pleasure. Especially after it's mutually on. Why would you continue to sell you. She already likes YOU - there is nothing more to sell. You now sell the pleasure. May 18, 2010 The Attraction Code

The real challenge in my opinion is before the kiss. Getting attraction. Exactly. This is just one persons method for making attraction overt, official and mutual. Attraction that was ALREADY there. The million dollar question is always how does someone create attraction. We are all so different that there will probably never be a full proof way for one person to convey it to another. And that is what this whole community is based on - the selling of attraction. The promise that we can teach you a formula or secret code for creating attraction. It doesn't exist because the human beings trying to teach it to you are all so different and the women you are using their material on are all unique. We are dealing with flesh

and blood human beings not computer programs. However, I do believe we can do a good job of teaching you the other phases of the game that have less variables. For example, introducing yourself (is pretty straightforward) , making the attraction that you created mutual (kissing, mutual hand caressing) and closing the deal after it's mutually on (arousal, sexual mindsets). If you can get these 3 things down you might not be a super cool pick-up-artist, but will have a good life with women. You will now be capitalizing on your opportunities instead of screwing them up. And by blowing opportunities I mean not meeting the women who want to meet you (the ones who give you eye contact and hover around you or are just helpful when you go talk to them) , not making attraction official when a girl is obviously into you (ie. she stays) and not being able to close the deal with a woman who is down because you have sexual hangups or don't know how to arouse her. But back to that elusive attraction question. You have all these products on attraction attraction is a million dollar business. Probably 90% of the products are about some guys theory on how to create attraction. And there have been no shortage of new launches lately all promising to teach you the same thing...the "secret"to attraction. You can even break most forum posts down into 4 categories: 1) Question about opening and starting a conversation 2) How can I create attraction - why wasn't she attracted to me? 3) How could I have escalated - I'm scared to escalate. (aka how can I make attraction overt and mutual) 4) She really likes me but how can I close her? (arousal, logistics, sexual mindsets) And for the most part you could easily help him with #'s 1, 3 and 4. But when it comes to #2 the debate could go on forever. The seduction community is actual pretty helpful if you take out the whole "what creates attraction part" and implement the other tips on things like starting more conversations per night, making attraction mutual, and how to get sexual with a woman who already likes you. Good stuff - but once you start the "attraction debate"

it's not long before we get deep into mental masturbation and are left more confused than when we started. Before you worry about attracting every single girl you meet you need to know what to do when a woman IS attracted to you. This is really step one. It may sound easy, but even guys who are good with women constantly screw this up. But introducing yourself, making the attraction you created mutual and closing the deal is definitely a skill that you can learn. For me, making the attraction that is already there mutual - in other words, manifesting the attraction I just created into something physical - is the first goal of escalation. It builds compliance and makes things much easier. The 2nd goal is arousal. But posts like these are helpful because there are many guys who can create attraction in women - but never seem to be able to make the attraction they created mutual. They are either too scared or don't know how to escalate properly. This is a huge problem for many, many guys. Fortunately, unlike attraction, these issues can be fixed rather quickly. Now my move for making attraction mutual may be different than yours - but we all have our reasons for using different techniques. In the end though, all of our ideas on things like starting conversations, making attraction mutual and closing are pretty similar in the community. In contrast, trying to copy and implement another guys method for creating attraction will for the most part remain elusive. I like to say - attraction is something you work on BEFORE you get to the bar. There are NO shortcuts to being an attractive person and there is no magic pill for creating attraction. But that doesn't stop people from trying to sell it. It's a lot like the weight loss industry. We know in most cases that over time eating healthy and exercise will help you lose some weight. But some people don't want to do the hard work. People don't want to wait. They want the magic pill, the shortcut. As such, we will probably never stop trying to crack that elusive attraction code. The funny part is, all of the time spent trying to find this "shortcut" to creating attraction ends up taking much longer than if we just did all the simple little things that would help make us a more attractive person right from the beginning.

There will always be a variety in the number and quality of women each different guy can get. But I truly believe if he gets the core fundamentals outside of attraction down (introduction, make attraction mutual and reveal sexual interest) he will be successful with women. We can all have a piece of the pie. Plus, you can learn these things rather quickly letting you move on to other more important areas of your life outside of picking up women. However, If you stick around until we all agree on the never ending "what creates attraction" debate, you will probably be here forever. Asking vs. Pulling There is a difference between pulling women home versus asking women home. A lot of guys talk about the pull - but in reality few guys try to physically pull women home. Instead most guys try to "ask" women home. For instance, the say things like...do you want to go watch a movie? Should we get out of here? Do you have any food at your house? These are examples of trying to ask a woman home. Nothing wrong with trying that as your first option. Of course, asking is a more passive approach. Plus, she has to verbally agree to your sex offer. It's easier for a woman to agree and comply non-verbally than to have to actually say Yes. An attempt to pull a woman home would be grabbing her hand and simply leading her out of the bar. Of course, if she lets go of your hand or doesn't want to leave yet that's fine. You don't even have to respond. Just smile and go back to what you guys were doing. But make no mistake, at least you officially tried to pull her. After attraction is official and the seduction is mutual what is the next step. Most guys think it's arousal and that is true to some extent. But before you worry about arousing shouldn't you first test to see if she would leave with you now. Sometimes arousal isn't even necessary. Going for the pull saves time and let's you know where you stand. If she doesn't want to go with you only then should you try to change her mood using arousal. May 20, 2010 Affection & Acceptance

A huge problem in relationships, which is really reflective of the world at large - is people trying to get affection form the people who don't like them. I was watching Seinfeld last night and it was the episode where George falls in love with Jerry's girlfriend solely because she doesn't like him. A woman that hates me this much...comes along once in a lifetime. - George Costanza You're a lucky man. - Jerry God I love that show. Anyway, the point is these people have parents who love them unconditionally, good friends that are always there for them and a really sweet and cute girlfriend who treats them right. But instead of being satisfied and enjoying the affection they do have - they constantly look for validation and acceptance among complete strangers. The party girls, the drug guys and the so called cool kids down at the trendy clubs. The irony is they are trying to get affection form people who don't even like themselves, thus they can never like them either. If you like yourself you will be content enjoying the affection you already have. But if you don't like who you are you will always be seeking affection and acceptance among strangers that don't like themselves either. May 22, 2010 How to be Interesting There is a big difference between a shy quiet guy who women ignore (like he was invisible) and a guy that doesn't say or do much but escalates the vibe. Who's bright idea was it to have guys who are already shy try and talk a lot. Just listen and escalate. You may think escalating the vibe non-verbally can be creepy but it's a lot less creepy than being creepy verbally or physically. When escalating vibe there is not much you need to do on the verbal level. You don't need to be "interesting" because your vibe is interesting. You could both be talking about the most boring topics in the world - but they vibe will still be sexual. That is why seduction has little to do with verbal game. You also don't need to tease her to create tension because the vibe is already creating sexual tension. The best part is you won't be breaking rapport with your verbal game

which is usually her excuse to reject you. However, when you escalate the vibe women will usually bait you to break rapport. You can easily handle these tests by simply staring at her with a deadpan expression.

Women Get Bored Easily They say women get bored easily. This is especially true down at the bars and clubs. You see it all the time. Some poor guy starts panicking as he begins to lose the groups attention. As a result, guys start talking too fast and try to be even more interesting and funny. It doesn't really matter if what you talk about is interesting as long as your vibe is interesting. You could even say very little and listen if you wanted. If your vibe is seductive it will keep a woman's attention without having to do or say anything special. Women won't usually talk to you (a stranger) for too long unless you are interesting and entertaining. Unfortunately, too much talking and entertaining has a low probability of leading to sex because there is no tension. So the other way to be interesting to women is to put out a sexual vibe and escalate. Women never get bored talking about themselves. Put out a seductive vibe while you listen to and you will always have her attention. May 23, 2010 The Problem with Disinterest The problem with teaching disinterest as a tactic is that it plays right into the hands of guys who are already really scared to escalate. Instead of having to face their fear of making a move they can now think they are making progress attracting women by "acting disinterested". There is a very fine line between a guy who is a challenge and one who is just scared to make a move. Women know the difference so you can't fool them. The irony is many women start out liking you because you are scared to escalate. They think you are being a challenge and start chasing you. But it doesn't take long for women to realize Wait a second, this guy isn't a challenge. He's just a pussy.

Instantly, all of her attraction for you disappears. You're out. May 26, 2010 More Fear Than How Fear and How I think one area where we went wrong is we brought mental masturbation to all 4 phases of the game. It's excusable to bring mental masturbation into the attraction phase because it an be difficult to pinpoint exactly what is creating the attraction. Every person is so different and every girl is unique in her own way. However, there was no need to bring the rampant over-analysis to the opening, escalation and getting sexual phases as well. That's because for most guys things like opening and getting sexual are more about FEARS than HOWS. In other words, it's not the HOW that is holding guys back when it comes to opening and escalating, it's the FEAR. So it was pretty genius to keep guys occupied learning the HOWs. This gives guys an excuse to put off getting over their fears until they learn all of the hows. And I mean ALL of the hows. Learning the hows never ends. There is never a shortage of new products offering the hows. The worst part is, the more complicated you make the hows the greater a guys fears will be. You would think it would be the opposite. But no...more HOWS equals more fears. You reduce fear by making opening, escalating and pulling girls easy - not complicated. Look, you can study the hows forever or you can go out and get over YOUR fears. The HOW for opening, escalating and getting sexual are very simple: Opening: one word, Hi Escalation: one move, put your hand out Sex: one offer, let's get out of here

Here is a great example: A guy thinks he has a fear of escalating so he studies "game". But it's not actually a fear of escalating - in reality he just has a fear of making an overt, physical move that will reveal if her attraction for him is mutual. Finding out if a woman's attraction for you is mutual or one-sided is very scary for guys. But instead of tackling that core FEAR (making an overt, physical, mutual move) he spends years learning a bunch of other HOWS that have absolutely nothing to do with getting over the fear of finding out if a woman's attraction for him is mutual. ie. - he uses lots of incidental touching, learns various kino ladders - he uses aggressive (arousal) moves before the attraction is mutual (clawing, licking her face) - chickens out and asks for her phone number instead (a phone number is not something physical or mutual) He may think he is "making progress" and "learning game" - but at the end of the day he is still afraid to reveal to a woman that he has an overt physical interest in her. And he is still absolutely terrified to find out if a woman's attraction for him is mutual. In fact, judging by the stuff he is doing...he would rather not know. When it comes to game... It' s always more about Fear than How May 27, 2010 You Can't Plan a Kiss When I first started I thought kissing was the only way to make attraction official and mutual. The problem was - although some of my kisses were planned acts of aggressiveness (I just lunged in) a lot of them happened magically. I still have no clue how it all went down. We were just talking and boom! In other words, the first kiss can be a very hard thing to plan. Sure, you can think...I am going to slow down, gaze in her eyes, move closer and then the kiss will just happen. But that is not usually the case. Because you are TRYING to create the right conditions

for a kiss it will never happen. And that is probably why the percentage of attracted sets to it's on moments is so low. In contrast, you CAN plan hand caressing. It doesn't take some magical moment of silence, closeness and seductive eye contact to grab her hand. Of course after the mutual caressing now is definitely a good time for that first kiss. It will just flow naturally. And unfortunately an aggressive kiss does not always make attraction mutual. It's attractive yes, but not always mutual. Make Opening Official Introducing yourself makes opening official No matter how smooth your opening line was. All of the pre-eye contact and situational banter means zip unless you exchange names and go for that extended handshake. These are missed opportunities. Just like mutual caressing makes attraction official, an introduction makes opening official. Making a sex offer makes the non-verbal sexual connection that is brewing official. There can be no confusion - this is about SEX.

May 28, 2010 Of Love and Baggage This is one that older guys will relate to and can also serve as a warning for younger guys. No matter how old you are right now, keep in mind (depending on your circumstances) you will probably be falling in and out of love for the rest of your life. And while the feelings you get when you "fall in love" will stay the same - the baggage that comes with enjoying that "emotional high" increases as you get older. Wonder Years When you're in 10th grade and start dating a girl in your class, neither of you have much baggage. In fact, you are probably her first boyfriend and vice versa. Although you are young, the emotional high you experience is just as powerful. Whether the relationship ends well doesn't matter - you will never be the same. You will now be chasing this high for the rest of your life. However, the price for getting your fix of the "love drug"increases as you age . For example, when you're a 52 year-old father of two and fall head over heels for that sexy woman in your office - there are going to be many logistical problems. Your kids, her kids, the courts, payouts, awkward social gatherings, jealousy and anger. The being in love part feels great - it's a familiar pleasure, but it can also be a huge mess. The 18-Wheeler Pulls Up Sometimes you are not just taking on another person - you are taking on their kids, debt, emotional and health problems as well. This is true for both men and women. Sometimes these issues are not even a symptom of them being a bad person. They are just the realities of getting older. The reason why it's so important to get this whole "success with women" thing handled right now is the steaks will get higher and higher as you get older. Each failed romantic relationship leaves more than just hurt feelings in its wake. It can lead to emotional and financial ruin.

Men and women are never going to give up on falling in love - even as they glide into their 80's. Unfortunately, the older you get the more baggage (yours and theirs) comes with that feeling.

Jun 6, 2010 Women Love Sex, Really When you look at a video of a woman giving a blow job who do you think is the lucky one. The man or the woman? I get bored of hearing people giving speeches and saying "women love sex". Yeah, no shit - but that saying still doesn't help guys get laid more - and I think I know why. Simply saying "women love sex" conjures up images of a man and woman doing it in the missionary position. When you think of it this way, sure - you can eventually believe that women like sex. The problem is guys still don't believe women like and will enjoy the things that THEY really want to do to them. There is a huge difference between vanilla sex and what you want to do. Those dirty things that you really want to do - that you think are weird and perverted and that women won't enjoy them. You have to get comfortable and believe women will enjoy them. You think yeah sure, women like sex but they don't like the perverted things I want to do to them. Not only do you have to be confident in yourself - you need to BELIEVE she will want to do it as well. You can think you are the man but if you believe women don't like to do this stuff, it's all for nothing. Jun 11, 2010 Genuine Introduction The interesting thing about the genuine introduction is that it's the most effective opener but it's also the scariest. The other openers are less effective (situational, break rapport and opinion) but you don't have to put yourself on the line. I know this really good looking guy. His only issue is will he get the nerve to approach. If he can summon the courage it usually goes well. Funny how even with all the good reactions he still has that fear.

For other guys it's different. Not only do they have to get the courage to approach they have to do it knowing the first reaction they get is usually not great. That takes some courage. All approaches are not created equal. We make it out to seem like you have to learn to approach any woman in any situation. There is a big difference between learning to say hello to a cute girl who is standing beside you at the bar and walking over and opening a model surrounded by three huge bodyguards. Not every guy needs or wants to learn how to do that. Start small. Get better at building up the courage to introduce yourself to the two cute girls are smiling at you. Jun 25, 2010 Holding Hands Makes Everything Easier Some guys still prefer the kiss close to hand caressing. For them I have some interesting news. It is much easier to kiss a woman when you are already holding her hand. It is much more likely that she will comply because you are already engaging in something mutual. Thus, you have a greater chance of getting a kiss if you are already holding hands. It would be pretty awkward for her to reject you when you are holding hands. Another reason why hand caressing is better. The pretense for going for her hand can be disguised (handshake, high five) whereas lunging for a kiss can not. If you go for a kiss there is no mistaking what you just did. You tried to kiss her. Thus, by grabbing her hand you get more chances to make attraction official. She may like you, but another reason hand caressing is so great is you get a window into how the arousal phase is going to go. Is she going to be a participant or are you going to be working solo. Even if she likes you, if she doesn't return caressing it means the arousal phase is probably going to be difficult. Additionally, it is much easier to pull a woman out of the bar if you are already holding her hand. As opposed to having to grab her hand and then do it. Again it's going to be more difficlit for her to say no if you are holding hands.

They just did a study that revealed that when a couple holds hands while having a difficult discussion about the relationship there was much less arguing. When walking anywhere is a great time to make attraction official. Grabbing a girls hand while you walk is very natural. Same thing with leading a girl through the crowd. Jul 3, 2010 Wanna Fuck Everyone knows a guy who once went up to a few random girls and said "wanna fuck" and eventually it worked. In fact, there are some guys who swear that saying "wanna fuck" is all you need to do. But why does it work? It's because he was making her a pleasure offer. This offer is the most important part of a seduction and often is all you need to do. Making a pleasure offer is more important than introducing yourself or even making attraction official. Obviously, starting out by making a sex offer is out of sequence, but it's still the only thing that really matters. For those unfamiliar with the term, a pleasure offer is saying "want to go watch a movie" or simply grabbing a woman's hand and walking out of the bar to grab a cab. Let Me Ask You How many times did you get laid in the past year? Now let me ask you, how many pleasure offers did you make? Not surprisingly, there is a direct relationship between the number of pleasure offers that you make and the number of times you have sex. If you made ZERO pleasure offers last year and didn't hookup once - are you really surprised? Look, if you aren't asking women for exactly want you want how can they give it to you. Making a pleasure offer is the most important part of the seduction. Make more pleasure offers and get more sex.

It's that easy. Jul 5, 2010 More Powerful than Kissing According to most romantic movies, the start of every heart-fluttering relationship begins with a kiss. There's a move that has it beat in effectiveness and also won't leave you exposed and vulnerable to being rejected. But let's back up for a second - most common knowledge these days around attracting women makes it seem like if you get a woman comfortable with your touch, then a physical relationship can start. This is solid reasoning, and it follows logic, but what this little tidbit leaves out is the fact that love and emotions are not a logical construct. I offer you a very different line of reasoning for why a kiss can be the start of a relationship between a man and a woman. There are two aspects to a kiss that make it very viable for jump-starting a relationship, and it is only because of these two aspects that a traditional kiss is effective. 1. Kissing is an overt physical move, it shows your physical attraction to a woman. Trying to kiss her makes it implausible for a woman to have any question as to why you like her. You can flirt with a girl all night, but that can be harmless and fun. Kissing is an overt move. She can no longer deny she didn't know what was going on. 2. Kissing is a physical move that allows her to reciprocate if she shares your attraction to her. Now you are no longer trying to seduce or get her. You are no longer on separate teams, you end up on the same team. The process of two people coming together onto the same team with mutual attraction is called an It's On Moment. When you think about it, this is exactly the reason why most "traditional" methods of trying to attract a woman don't work. Asking a woman for her phone number is not an It's On Moment because getting her number is not physical. On the other hand, merely touching a woman and getting her comfortable with your touch does not create an It's On Moment because she is not touching you back--it's not mutual. I'm sure every time you go to the club you see tons of guys grind women on the dance floor, only to watch these same women walk away moments later without even saying goodbye. Why did she leave? Because despite their touching or however aggressive

these guys thought they were, it didn't create a mutual physical moment with her. There was no connection, and more importantly there was no overt physical move to display his attraction to her. Thus, she will most likely not even remember she danced with him by the end of the night. So here's the moment you've been waiting for, what move is MORE powerful than kissing and so covert that she would never be able to reject you for it? Mutual Hand Caressing Mutual hand caressing is so powerful because it creates a "we are a new couple" type feeling inside of her. Endorphins? Check. Dopamines? Check. You guys are now officially on the same team. You are working together. This is what a new couple naturally does with each other; play with each others hands etc. This magical moment also makes it more likely that she will continue to comply with future physical escalations and requests; the comfort built during mutual caressing skyrockets her feelings of safety while being physical with you. So how do you use this to create an It's On Moment? It's very easy... 1. Take her hand 2. Hold it for a few seconds 3. Start lightly caressing her hand until she caresses your hand back The key is you want to quickly transition from holding hands into hand caressing. The reason you don't hold her hand for too long is because women associate "holding on" with men being needy. Instead leave your hand slightly open and give her the opportunity to pull away or caress your hand. Keep in mind holding hands won't create the same powerful feeling that mutual hand caressing will. This is THE easiest AND most consistent way to get to the It's On Moment. That's because the easiest part of your body for her to feel comfortable touching are your hands. Think about it. A woman isn't going to just start randomly caressing your legs. Most guys spend all of their time worrying about touching HER. Instead make it easier for HER TO TOUCH YOU. By holding her hand first, we are just speeding up the process of getting to a moment of mutual caressing. Don't be the average guy that leaves this moment to chance. Remember it's up to YOU to make this moment happen.

What if she doesn't take my hand or pulls her hand away? Unlike going for a kiss and getting rejected, if she doesn't take your hand, you can simply ignore it and try again later. You see, her rejection of your advances in terms of hand holding can never actually come into reality unless you acknowledge that you made an effort to escalate on her and failed. Compared with an all-or-nothing move like kissing her--there's simply NO comparison to mutual hand caressing, because these are the ONLY possible outcomes! 1. She pulls her hand away, you know that you've got a little work to do before trying again--but make no mistake, this will always work as a proper gauge of her interest level in you. 2. If she doesn't pull her hand away, but isn't caressing you back yet--you're in a good place! She's teetering closer and closer to the edge of it being FULLY ON between you two. 3. There is mutual caressing going on. Congratulations, it's OFFICIALLY ON! Here's some more food for thought on the advantages of hand caressing vs. going for the kiss: * You get infinitely more chances for some easy hand caressing than going for a kiss * You don't have to create a perfect moment in which to try it * Mutual hand caressing is easier to do with other people around * You don't have to get her alone first * If you get resistance, it requires absolutely no damage control--it is a true test of where you two stand * It doesn't reduce tension and keeps you in an aura of challenge A Woman's Hands NEVER Lie. Women with low interest will go as far as letting you TRY to kiss them. Of course she will turn away and give you the ceremonial cheek. She may even pretend to be shy so she doesn't hurt your feelings. But one thing women with low interest will NEVER do is mutual hand caressing. You will notice she absolutely will not caress your hands back when you caress hers. She has no problem laughing, smiling and holding eye contact with you. That is because all of these things are easy to fake. Mutual hand caressing is the only thing that is not. It will repulse her.

Hand caressing is something only people who really like each other do (ie. new couples). And if she doesn't like you, the lack of hand caressing back will be a blatant dead giveaway that you are with a woman who is not very attracted to you. That's why you always go for her hands first. Because I have a secret for you. Given enough time and repetition of the above tactic--As long as she is still around... The It's On Moment IS INEVITABLE! Once you have created an It's On Moment by following the above, the ENTIRE FIELD is now open to you and all the doors for bringing the interaction to the NEXT level have been unlocked. 10 Ways Guys Kill Attraction I think pretty much every guy out there can identify with some point in their life where they shot themselves in the foot with a woman (and if you’re honest, probably multiple times). So in order to help stop this mass masochistic act from continuing, I’ve provided an emergency defibrillator pack to resuscitate your swagger. Avoid these 10 items like the bubonic plague and you’ll be well on your way to letting nature work its spell on all the attractive women you come across on a regular basis. 10. Being Overly Agreeable If you’ve never noticed this phenomenon among men, let me bring you up to speed. Take a look at how a normal guy transforms into an super attentive and overly excited puppy when talking to a girl he just met. You would swear that women are all master comedians and orators the way most guys act around them. Give it a rest guy, the fact that she lives in XYZ town and went shopping today really isn’t that interesting. No, seriously. It’s not. Stop scrambling your brain trying to find a tangent to such a boring response. She doesn’t care if you like shopping where she shops as well. 9. Overactive Facial Expressions This one’s an extension of the previous one. When guys are overly agreeable and honored just to be talking to an attractive girl, their eyes and face will light up like it’s Christmas. News flash: it’s not, so take a trip back to reality and realize you’re talking to a normal human being. It’s disgusting when you’re overly excited about nothing when she has done nothing to deserve it. Professional comedians are damn funny, and even THEY have to go out every night and earn every laugh they get. No one gets a free pass. Not her either.

8. Talking Too Much The most common thing most guys do as soon as they’re in a conversation with a new girl is fill up all the silences with nervous conversation. Trust me, when there’s a lull in the conversation for whatever reason, no one is fooled when you desperately throw a hail mary question or comment in an attempt for silence to not be “awkward”. This is unnatural behavior, you wouldn’t try so hard to fill the silences when you’re just hanging out with your guy friends. Make friends with tension and awkward moments. 7. Lack of Touch with Purpose Touch is one of the most hotly discussed topics in a seduction, especially since it’s one of the more concrete ways to solidify a connection with a woman. Most men simply do not touch women who they’re interested in enough. It’s as if they think that women are as delicate as brittle china that shatters at the slightest touch. But mainly, they’re scared that the woman will not appreciate his advances. Don’t go the off the opposite side of the spectrum, where you’re touching her and trying to “attract” her. Always touch with a purpose, and remember your purpose is to seduce her. Touch accordingly. 6. Breaking Rapport Who’s not guilty of this one? Pretty much every guy has gotten it in their head at one point that if being the nice (pushover) guy doesn’t work, then being the cocky and arrogant jerk that women seem to love would work. Actually, it doesn’t. When you think you got the perfect cocky and funny line or a better answer that shows how witty you are, in most cases you are dead wrong and you get docked points for trying to be something you are not. Best case scenario? You’re right, she believes you have the cajones to back up your statement, but then the dynamic between you two has turned into you vs her. People on opposite sides of a fight do not hook up. 5. Talking and Not Listening An extension of the Talking Too Much syndrome above is when the guy doesn’t listen to what the girl is saying. Now when most guys think of listening, they think of some Dr. Phil segment or some relationship segment on how to listen to your partner better. This is not it at all, when you listen neutrally more than you talk, you set the silent expectation to her that what she says should be important. You’re expecting her to contribute good conversation and not listening to her like a happy camper listening to

a bed-time story. (See #9) 4. Making One Big Move One of the worst things you can do is to put all your eggs in one basket and risk it all on one big extravagant move with a girl you like. It stems from a previous item, Lack of Touch With a Purpose, and the result is usually a guy keeping the vibe between him and a girl largely platonic until he makes that one big move, which is usually a kiss or a confession of love or something. Keep your touch purposeful and the rest will fall into place. 3. Waiting Until You Are Alone to Act If you haven’t noticed it yet, all of these points build on top of one another, and this one is built on top of having the need to make that one big move. Because the big move has been built up so much, it’s extremely hard for most men to escalate anything with a woman unless they’re alone in a 1-on-1 setting. What’s the result? Platonic vibe and conversation hoping that they can get them alone to make the move. Ditch the move and ditch the need to be alone to seduce her. 2. Bailing Her Out You ask her out for a date, you ask for her number, you plan an outing… she flakes on your advances and with the speed of a mongoose, you reassure her as quick as possible that it’s ok and that it’s perfectly fine. Aww… what a nice guy, so considerate of her feelings considering she just exhibited anti-social behavior. I mean think about it: if you were gonna take a good guy friend out for dinner sometime and he couldn’t make it, the first thing he would do is show his gratitude and suggest an alternate date. Most men reward bad behavior from a woman with nervous apology. She just did something messed up and you’re the one apologizing? This one’s a deal-breaker for killing attraction. 1. Trying to Impress Her All of the above attraction killers all stem from one critical thought, and if you get rid of it, everything else pretty much takes care of itself. The urge and need to impress her, show her how cool you are, make a good first impression, show her your best side… all of these are symptoms of the same disease.

You are placing her (unfairly) on a pedestal before you even know her well, you are coming from the position of a beggar trying to entice her with cheap tricks. The truth is, you’re NOT a beggar. She is not some sort of holy grail. She’s just a girl with her own flaws and you are just a guy with your own as well. Nature never designed for you to be attractive only if you were flawless, that is an unfortunate side effect of the conditioning of our society that says you need to do this or that in order to deserve love or get women or respect. If you think you can out-attract nature, you are grossly wrong. Be who you are without shame, with pride, and let the chips fall where they may. I’m pretty sure you’ll like where they land.

Getting Over Your Fear of Escalation One of the biggest fears guys have is revealing that they are interested in a woman. As a result, many aspiring seducers end up spending too much time in what is referred to as the "attraction phase". This is quite amusing because in my opinion there is no separate attraction phase. In fact, most of my easiest and fastest seductions all had one important thing in common. The attraction and escalation stages were happening at the same time. Escalation is Attractive The first mindset to internalize is that escalation is an attractive quality. In fact, escalation may be the most important quality to display if you want to get a particular woman interested in you. Making such a bold move, especially quickly, shows confidence and immediately makes women notice you. Any average guy can make a move after they know a woman is definitely interested. Big deal. Escalating The Vibe Of course when I talk about escalating quickly as being attractive I'm not talking about groping or cat- calling women as they walk by. In fact it's just the opposite. Instead of worrying about complimenting or touching women, your initial focus should be on what I call escalating the vibe. Escalating vibe basically means the tone of your interactions should quickly progress from social and friendly to more seductive and serious. An example of a seductive vibe would be holding her gaze, moving very close to her and being comfortable with silence. By putting out just a little bit of seductive

energy you can create lots of tension. And the good news is, tension between a man and a woman is usually felt as sexual tension. Creepy or Connection? Now here is where things get interesting. This feeling of tension you can create with your seductive vibe is similar to the physical symptoms a woman feels when she is attracted to a man. Her heart is beating fast; she starts blushing, and may even begin to feel nervous. In some cases, women will feel these same powerful emotions even if she is not officially attracted to you yet. On the other hand, if a woman isn't enjoying your vibe she will interpret the tension you created as awkward. As such, she may respond by giving you the “you're kind of creepy" face. Unfortunately if you want to be a seducer of women and not a dancing monkey there is always the small risk of this happening. No worries. Her rejection of you will be non-verbal and you can both walk away and save face. It's not like you confessed your feelings or tried to kiss her and failed. However, if she has some interest in you that feeling of tension you created will make her feel even more attracted. You go from "kind of interesting" to "extremely sexy" in seconds. How To Make it ON By only revealing your interest with vibe, not verbally or physically, sexual tension will start to build. If she's interested in you she will long for a release to that tension. In other words, she secretly hopes that you are feeling this non-verbal connection too and it's not just her. One way you can relieve some of her tension is by grabbing and then caressing her hand. Since you haven't touched her much, if at all, the first time you touch her hand creates a spark which can lead to mutual hand caressing. Ever had a time in your life when you first touched a woman’s hand and you both instantly felt a powerful physical connection. It's like that. Seduce Her Non-Verbally Most mainstream seduction advice puts a heavy emphasis on escalating verbally and physically. For example, I'm sure you have been told countless times to use teasing, touch her a lot and then go for the kiss. In my opinion escalating with seductive eye contact, silence and proximity can be way more powerful than anything you could ever

say verbally or do physically. In fact, trying to escalate by touching her a lot can actually reduce sexual tension because she already knows your intentions. I know many guys still view escalation as this scary moment of truth where they put it all on the line. However escalating the vibe is actually quite simple to do and virtually risk-free. It only requires being silent, listening and enjoying the amazing woman in front of you. Now that sounds like something any man can do. Being Seductive IS Attractive The decision whether a woman will find you attractive or not will be made in the first few seconds. And it may sound crazy, but the decision will not be made by her, it will be made by you. In my opinion, one of the most attractive things you can do is assume attraction. Look, it’s no secret that women find confidence extremely attractive. And few things convey more confidence than assuming a woman already likes you. But wait a second. What if I am short, chubby and don’t have male model looks. If I always assume attraction am I not just being delusional. Maybe - but I like to think of it as being delusionally seductive. On the surface it may look like this beautiful woman is out of your league – but that is not the deciding factor if you are going to be seductive around her or not. Meaning, putting out a seductive relaxed vibe should be a part of your normal personality. You are being seductive for the pleasurable feelings it provides you, not as some kind of secret pickup technique to attract her. So how would you act if you knew the woman you were talking to already liked you? Would you entertain her with stories and witty banter? Would you tease her and break rapport? Would you try to lower her value and act disinterested? I don’t know about you, but all of that stuff sounds like the things I would only do if I assumed a woman wasn’t attracted to me. Have you ever looked at a woman and just knew right away you could get her. After just a minute of conversation you had no doubt she was coming home with you. Maybe she looked exactly like a former girlfriend or perhaps you were just feeling really confident that night. How did you act around her? Did you do anything differently?

If you are anything like me you probably held face contact, got really close to her, and didn’t feel the need to say or do anything special. In fact, you probably sat back and let her talk most of the time (qualify herself) while you smirked thinking “it’s just a matter of time”. The reason this laid back style works so well is because by putting out a seductive vibe you are really just saying “I already know you like me”. And what do you do when you know a woman is already attracted to you. Exactly, you escalate. And by escalate I mean you should look at her, move into her space, and keep relatively silent. You don’t worry about saying or doing anything special. In fact, you may not have realized it at the time but you basically let the sexual tension that exists naturally between men and women do all the work for you. Risk Creepy So if being seductive is really so simple and effective why doesn’t everybody do it. Well first of all many guys fear that if they act in a seductive manner women will consider them creepy. And there are few things as scary to a man than being labeled creepy. He would much rather be told to fuck off. As such, being seductive has become something you only do when you have definitive proof a woman already likes you. For example, guys think using bedroom eyes, being silent and getting close are only things you would do after a woman has agreed to be alone with you. All Game is Inner Game Assuming attraction is the ultimate reflection of your inner game. Meaning it’s really up to you, not her, to make the ultimate decision if you’re an attractive guy or not. If you truly believe you are an attractive person then you will act calm and seductive around her. You will be confident holding her gaze and feel comfortable basking in the natural sexual tension that reveals itself in the brief moments of silence. However, if you think she is out of your league then you will automatically feel like you need to do and say stuff. You will focus on being social, funny and interesting. You will worry about the right words to say. The decision which way you will proceed is often made in the first few seconds after you meet a new woman. Unfortunately, the process happens so fast it’s usually beyond our conscious control. Look, there will always be debate over which are the best qualities to display in order

to create attraction. Should you act aloof and uninterested or run around letting her observe your awesome social skills. But despite all of the different attraction switches, I think we can all agree that assuming attraction is very attractive. And one of the best ways to convey that you assume women already like you is by being seductive with your vibe. Few things in this game show more confidence. Jul 13, 2010 Official Fast It's not the sex that has to happen fast - it's the making attraction official part. You can and should make attraction mutual very quickly because she has most likely already made her decision about you. Now you can relax and take your time because sex is a mood based decision. But instead people wait so long before trying to make attraction official - that is the real area where time is wasted - not the waiting for sex. If attraction is mutual who cares if you go on a few dates. It's never too early to make attraction official - you can do it in 1 second. It may take three dates before you get physical but you can make attraction mutual in 1 second. You will never be confident enough to do the risky verbal and physical things you need to do to arouse her if you don't know if it's mutual. You will half-ass it. Sure, it's one thing to make an overt move that lets her know you like her (caressing her leg) but it's quite another to make an overt move where you are testing to see if she touches you back (hand caressing). You might not be scared to let her know you like her - but you still fear the move that will tell you if she likes you back. There are girls who like you but won't participate much in the seduction - the arousal phase will be difficult. When attraction is mutual you will only need to be persistent about getting her alone with you - not as much with arousal. That's because she wants to be aroused - but might be a bit of resistance getting her alone. from stranger to friend (the introduction) from flirting to attraction official (iom)

Jul 18, 2010 Seduction is a Team Sport

Get Her on Your Team You see this happen all the time. Sometimes even after you kiss her, why does a girl hide form you or even leave without saying anything (not even goodbye). Because you didn't make her feel comfortable. You didn't make your partnership mutual. Why can so many guys get 10 second make outs but rarely close. That's why it doesn't matter so much if she likes you or if she thinks you are attractive. It only matters if you can make attraction mutual and get her working on your team. The best way to do this is to never break rapport. But more importantly never let women bait you into breaking rapport. Good Girls - eye contact, smile...genuine and humble (let them get you once) Bad Girls - ignore, move closer, escalate When you feel attacked (tested) your first thought is to lash out - instead respond to criticism by being humble. See things front the other persons point of view. You don't even have to do hand caressing - just grab her hand and don't pull away, if she keeps holding on then you can start the caressing Persistent with the pleasure offer: this is what you need to be most persistent about, not arousal. The first opportunity to make attraction mutual is the initial handshake. The effort part of seduction is introducing yourself - there is some apathy in doing it as well. Introducing yourself is one of the things you don't want to do but after you are in a good conversation you are glad you did it.

Aug 5, 2010 The Big 3: Stare, Shut Up, Get Close Everyone talks a lot about creating sexual tension. But let's keep things simple guys. You only need to create tension. Whether that tension is sexual or not all depends on if she likes you. In other words, you only need to set out to create tension, not sexual tension. What Creates Tension (The Big 3): - staring at someone (deadpan) - silence (shut up, listen) - getting really close to someone quickly (your body and face) If she likes you, your deadpan face contact, silence and closeness will create a tension that feels sexual to her. If she doesn't like you, staring, silence and getting close will be interpreted by her as creepy. That is what we mean by risk creepy. You have to stare, shut up and get close to her. Now normally when someone stares at you it's creepy, but if you have some interest in them it's sexy. I'm sure there are hundreds of tips and tricks out there for creating sexual tension. But I guarantee if you just stare, shut up and get close you will have success with women. Now usually when a guy stares at a woman he looks way too excited. It is creepy. That is why we use the deadpan look which is 50% I'm checking you out, 50% I'm screening you. Stare, shut up, get close > grab hand - Listening takes care of the deadpan face contact and silence. Also, easier to move face and body close while listening as well. Now, you don't talk much but you can always communicate and respond with your facial expressions.

Aug 7, 2010 Notes Women mentioning boyfriends is rarely a good thing. If it's casually mentioned early on it usually means - I'm telling you so you don't even try making a move. If it' s brought up a few times after it's on - she is basically saying - you have a shot, but it's going to be a lot of work and possibly a waste of time. But then why do you always hear about guys hooking up with girls with boyfriends all the time. Yes, it happens often. But in these situations the guy doesn't find out she has a boyfriend until after they have hooked up. As in, you are laying in her bed and her cell is blowing up - and she goes "ugh, it's my boyfriend". And you think "huh, she has a boyfriend". How do you do nothing and still engage women? Listen. Is there a way you can NOT try and still be trying. Seductive listening. Aug 9, 2010 Follow The Money It's not religion or pressure from society that leads to women pretending they don't love sex. That makes them say ewe when you mention sexual stuff. Or pretend to be offended when you bring up some perverted topic. No, it' something else. And like most things in life, you only need to follow the money trial. Remember, when you diminish a woman's purity (or just purity in general) you are actually costing HER money. Think about that the next time you wonder why a girl gives you a hard time about getting sexual. You are costing her MONEY. Purity is a billion dollar business. There are dollars in purity. It's just not smart financially for a woman to admit that she loves to bang lots of guys and blow two guys at once. You won't ever hear this stuff because women eventually have to sell some guy the fantasy of purity. Why Women Hate Sluts

Why do women call other women sluts and get so mad when they show lots of skin. Do you want to know the real reason her friends cockblock you? Because when a woman acts slutty she lowers the overall price of purity for all other women. Picture purity like a stock, but the price is not based on the value of the company or a commodity, it's value is based on a fantasy. The stock price is based on the fantasy that women are somehow less sexual and less horny than us. This is big business. And women are the lobbyists. Why Your Girlfriend Hates Strip Clubs & Porn Notice how the only chicks who are honest about how much they love sex are the same ones making money for admitting it. For example, porn stars, prostitutes, and strippers. They will happily admit the truth about how slutty they are, and not give a shit, because they don't loose any money by diminishing their purity. In fact, they have found a way to make the truth profitable. But a frumpy average looking girl who doesn't have the body or desire to sell herself, needs to sell something else. Purity. On this same topic, I saw the movie Middle Men tonight. It's about the start of the porn industry on the internet. I highly recommend you go see it. Aug 15, 2010 Get Pumped "Down" to Meet Women

Every guy is trying to get pumped up to meet women.You may see them running around like madmen trying to get into state. You know, talking to everyone, being loud and annoying. It's not surprising that after a few nights of this they are totally burned out. Unfortunately, the opposite strategy of sitting around doing nothing is just as bad. So what can you do?

The Middle Ground If you really want to meet women you should work on getting pumped down. Relax, chill out. Lean back. Pick one spot and work that for a while. Remember, wherever you are, that is the place to be. Start conversations with your eyes not your mouth. - Non-verbal opening (cheers) - Open yourself (eye contact, smile) When you open really high energy women usually think: - you are overcompensating for something, not being genuine - something weird is going on, is he messing with us? - you are a clown, social frame Momentum Not Social Momentum is the state you want. Not social. Don't get me wrong. I still advocate building momentum and opening a fair number of women per night to increase your odds of success. You just don't have to run around like a freak to achieve momentum. The problem is when you run around talking to a lot of people you get in a social state, which is not good for seducing women. Sure, you feel uninhibited and confident. But in this state you are usually talking (not listening) or joking around too much (not serious/genuine).

Tired, Stretch, Yawn When you open low energy and slightly aloof sets are more likely to hook. Especially when you follow it up with a genuine introduction. Plus, you shouldn't be trying to be fun and entertaining to people who haven't earned it yet. You should be a bit skeptical upon meeting someone new. It's the best of both worlds because you try - yet you don't really try. Yes, you start the conversation, but you do it in an aloof way. You are basically playing the role of the woman. Think about how a woman acts when someone tries to talk to her. She is

slightly skeptical, a bit aloof and low energy. Well you do the same. It's know it's hard, because in the past you have covered up the anxiety of talking to women by getting pumped up. Instead, try being low energy and use the power of momentum to get you over your fear of approaching. anti-social > social > seductive > sexual